Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

What a difference a hour can make. Just heard a dear friend has died suddenly and I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me... Just bursting with grieve and shock. She was only 41, and so full of life and love. Cannot get my head around this. Doesn't help because I have no one here to talk to. I rea...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Wed Jan 9, 1:18 AM ET DES MOINES, Iowa - Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the 'meanest mom on the planet.' After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: 'OLDS 1999 Intrigue. To...

concerned123 · concerned123

i was wondering, should i tell my A that I have found this site and begun reaching out for my own help? I feel a little guilty keeping a secret from him. I have even save it in my favorite places under a fake name so he won't find it. Should i share this info or do you guys think it would be better to keep this j...

afmom03 · afmom03

....Is that WE WERE ALL close enough to one another to just jump in our cars , walk or run...and all meet somewhere right now, this very minute! I have been trying and ACTING like I'm so strong since I left my husband, and I don't know why...but lately...these past weeks leading up to the first anniversar...

maresie · maresie

I am in this dilemma. The job I am in is ending in a few weeks. I will have to go out and interview. They are not clear on my job when it is exactly ending. I imagine that it will go over a week or so if I wanted it too. The issue is I am totally burned out with working long hours and communting. I'd really rather s...

kari80 · kari80

The more I read about everyone's experiences the less I see my life will ever go back on track. My ex abf is in a treatment center, my life has been turned upside down over the past two years with him and now he is finally getting the help I pleaded with him to get (after our relationship ended.) I don't know...

maresie · maresie

A few years ago the A wanted one of his friends to be able to come and practically live at our house. He wanted his friend to have access to the house 24/7 and use the driveway that is totally block the driveway and my access to it 24/7 for 6 months. At the time I virulently objected to it. When I was objectin...

getoverit · getoverit

Hi boys and girls of my al anon family, I hope y'all r well and hopefully all is well here also! Now, by request ( perhaps following the week of happy chatroom chats ) the following then is posted.. at the close of the awards is a favorite brownie cake recipe: A brownie cake recipe:To begin, this recipe cal...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi this is my first post. I have been a member for a year. Alanon has helped me to see things more clearly and the fellowship and understanding is wonderful. I am praying for courage as I never thought that I was afraid. God showed me recently that I am very afraid. I have been hanging on to something for fea...

bev · bev

hi all.i had my biopsy sat,my arm hurts,and i have 6 stitches..SAH HAD THE WEEKEND OFF WORK,{acually he has every weekend off}but he didnt want to take me,so i called a friend and she went with me to drive me back home, i got on the computer sat nite for few min and now i know why he didnt go he wanted to look at...

xcskier · xcskier

I'm new here. I have this sort of ex-boyfriend, who keeps coming back, when he's the one that ended it. He was a non drinking alcoholic (or whatever you call it) when we were together. Recently he has started drinking again, and leaning on me. He just spent a week with me after asking if he could come h...

maresie · maresie

My interview was cancelled they want me to be available to start work tomorrow. I guess there is always a catch 22. When I was unemployed I couldn't get a job to save my life. Now I am employed no one wants me to give notice! I am keeping on keeping on. I sent in the fee for my dog license today. Both dogs are co...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, the silent treatment continues here. He went to work yesterday, it was just for a couple of hours, but he didn't call or come home from 8am, until 5pm, so I had made plans to go out with my friend who will soon be moving to Nashville. We have been friends thru thick and thin....25 years or so. As I w...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I'm really feeling bad tonight. A sponsee of 7 years that I truly got to know, befriend and cherish died about 2 weeks ago, after a really short bout with cancer. He died clean and sober. He was a true friend in recovery. We worked steps together, did 12 Step calls together, went to AA and NA so...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((((((((((((((Carolinagirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday tomorrow! Go Capricorns !!!

ddub · ddub

I keep wondering about lots of things and maybe you have too. Looking for esh as my head hurts from turning things over and over again. One thing I wonder is how do you know when to quit trying to figure things out and letting go, letting HP. Maybe just stopping the wondering is good and give it all up to HP...

chick29 · chick29

Not posted for a while, but feeling really mixed up at the moment I think its to do with resentments, ego and my pride and still some unhealthy thinking patterns. My aboyf now ex! decided to behave in an unbearable manner which caused a lot of upsets and rows almost as though he was trying to get me to kick h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), A very good morning and Happy Sunday to you all. After reading some posts, I thought this might help us all. It was yesterday's meditation from: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg (Hazelden 1991) This is an abbreviated version. Freedom means choos...

maresie · maresie

I am going on another interview tomorrow. Its in a University which should be exempt from the recession thats looming. I am thinking the recession may help me in some ways. Apartments are coming available, the rent is dropping, pretty soon I will find a place that will let me in with the dogs, bad cre...

barisax · barisax

I'm spinning this off of another thread, where someone mentioned that their A said they drank by choice, not by compulsion.... I stuggled with that for many years, long before I went to AA. Deep down, I knew I had many symptoms of alcoholism. But I believed that "real" alcoholics drank co...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?) Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty. I sat there thin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My 10 yr old daughter absolutely adores her father. She is his greatest defender and protector. She is also one who likes to know exactly what is happening in her life. The limbo we have been in regarding impending divorce is torturing her. She has been begging for months now just to have some resolu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been thinking that one of the reasons why its so hard for me to put myself first is because I was born and raised watching the A's in my life do the same thing through their disease/addiction. I have found this so abhorrent, this inability of them to see that they put their alcohol/drugs/whatever f...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

The Serenity Prayer by Reinold Niebuhr. Interpretation/understanding/perceptions - just one take on the meaning behind the words - not suggesting anyone else should interpret/understand/perceive this prayer as I do, I just thought I would share my perspective with you. by Heartbroken. God gr...

omajoy · omajoy

I have spent today pacing and asking my HP to stop me from any action. So far I haven't done a thing. No phone ringing, but I wasn't going to answer anyway. Final call today from son was "she (His EX) is threatening to call sherriff on me" and he hung up. I hope he isn't in a cell right now because sh...

wahineal · wahineal

My therapist has been recommending that I attend al anon meetings for sometime now, but with my one and a half year old and my full time university experience i find myself with little free time. I have been with my partner for a little over two years and emotionally and mentally i find myself giving up....

stormie · stormie

I was wondering if any of you have this same challenge to overcome: Mothering your A. I'm separated from my recovering AH, although we see each other on weekends (usually). We have two grown children, both in their early 30s. I have no difficulty not giving them unsolicited advice. For example, o...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hey, you, if you are reading this please send a sign! Hugs, missing your thoughts/words, J.

omajoy · omajoy

As I type, I am fighting just collaspsing. If anyone is on-line right now and can give me some help, please I need it. Our family drama with EXDIL, son has escalated into nasty communication between them. Son is angry with me as well because I try to talk sense into him. He is frantic that he's seen son onl...

optimistundone · optimistundone

where he stops.....nobody knows. Nothing like the silent treatment for two days followed by a day of an engaged and semi-helpful spouse who decided to talk to me today. He thanked me for reaching out to him, and my response was "I know it wasn't me"...which set him into another "pen...

maresie · maresie

i went for the interview on Friday and I felt it went well. I could have done better on some questions but I think I did pretty well overall. I hope I manage to get in there. My current job is up in the air. They are looking for someone but they expect me to stick around for ever for that. I am not willing to. I'v...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I'm guilty of letting him drive when I know he's drunk. Is it something I could be convicted of? Am I legally obligated to call the police? What if he killed somebody, and I told the police...yeah, he was really drunk. I should have stopped him. I thought about it. I had oppertunities. He wouldn't hav...

mrcjschu · mrcjschu

Thank you all so very much for your heartfelt honesty and warm welcome. You truly made me feel welcome and comfortable - in such a way that I haven't felt in years. As I'm sure you all know - having kids can change your life. Being involved with an alcoholic changes it further. Separating from or divorc...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had an unbelievable birthday. I went on a date for lunch with a guy I met online and he FLEW in to take me out. He shows up with a dozen roses. Come to find out he's a millionaire. And then he buys me a new GPS as a gift. On the first date. I'm a little wary but being glad for today going so well and as so...

barisax · barisax

After reading carolinagirl's post about being shunned by her co-workers, it made me reflect on my life and how I perceived myself and my friends over the years. I was a supreme loner as a teenager. I had no really true friends in high school. I talked to people plenty, about all kinds of stuff, but had n...

Becky1 · Becky1

My AH and I have not spoken in 11 days, except a couple of sentences about my car which needed repair. All he does is drink. However, after not talking or eating meals together or ANYTHING he did fix steaks for supper Sunday night. We didn't talk, and I didn't know he was fixing supper, but he did. I miss m...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...

tma0413 · tma0413

Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......

concerned123 · concerned123

Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...

mrcjschu · mrcjschu

My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...

maresie · maresie

For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...

Chetch · Chetch

After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...

maresie · maresie

As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...

wantneeda · wantneeda

i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...

bluecrow · bluecrow

Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...

maresie · maresie

For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...

kikgirl517 · kikgirl517

Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...

maresie · maresie

I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...

serendipity · serendipity

So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...

maresie · maresie

the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...

Becky1 · Becky1

This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...

serendipity · serendipity

I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...

concerned123 · concerned123

I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...

cindy1359 · cindy1359

My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...

omajoy · omajoy

I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just heard a friend has died...feel as tho the stuffing has been knocked out of me... (Preview) What a difference a hour can make. Just heard a dear friend has died suddenly and I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me... Just bursting with grieve and shock. She was only 41, and so full of life and love. Cannot get my head around this. Doesn't help because I have no one here to talk to. I rea...	Heartbroken	10	715	Jan 16, 2008 by Heartbroken
	I had this email in my inbox this morning... (Preview) Wed Jan 9, 1:18 AM ET DES MOINES, Iowa - Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the 'meanest mom on the planet.' After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: 'OLDS 1999 Intrigue. To...	carolinagirl	13	688	Jan 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	Should I tell? (Preview) i was wondering, should i tell my A that I have found this site and begun reaching out for my own help? I feel a little guilty keeping a secret from him. I have even save it in my favorite places under a fake name so he won't find it. Should i share this info or do you guys think it would be better to keep this j...	concerned123	15	845	Jan 15, 2008 by debilyn
	What I wish.... (Preview) ....Is that WE WERE ALL close enough to one another to just jump in our cars , walk or run...and all meet somewhere right now, this very minute! I have been trying and ACTING like I'm so strong since I left my husband, and I don't know why...but lately...these past weeks leading up to the first anniversar...	afmom03	7	451	Jan 15, 2008 by xcskier
	time crunch (Preview) I am in this dilemma. The job I am in is ending in a few weeks. I will have to go out and interview. They are not clear on my job when it is exactly ending. I imagine that it will go over a week or so if I wanted it too. The issue is I am totally burned out with working long hours and communting. I'd really rather s...	maresie	1	318	Jan 15, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	will there ever be a chance (Preview) The more I read about everyone's experiences the less I see my life will ever go back on track. My ex abf is in a treatment center, my life has been turned upside down over the past two years with him and now he is finally getting the help I pleaded with him to get (after our relationship ended.) I don't know...	kari80	6	647	Jan 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	Abusing the animals (a new low) (Preview) A few years ago the A wanted one of his friends to be able to come and practically live at our house. He wanted his friend to have access to the house 24/7 and use the driveway that is totally block the driveway and my access to it 24/7 for 6 months. At the time I virulently objected to it. When I was objectin...	maresie	4	618	Jan 15, 2008 by maresie
	humor mix posting -- and brownie cake recipe ... (Preview) Hi boys and girls of my al anon family, I hope y'all r well and hopefully all is well here also! Now, by request ( perhaps following the week of happy chatroom chats ) the following then is posted.. at the close of the awards is a favorite brownie cake recipe: A brownie cake recipe:To begin, this recipe cal...	getoverit	0	502	Jan 15, 2008 by getoverit
	courage (Preview) Hi this is my first post. I have been a member for a year. Alanon has helped me to see things more clearly and the fellowship and understanding is wonderful. I am praying for courage as I never thought that I was afraid. God showed me recently that I am very afraid. I have been hanging on to something for fea...	silverbrumby	8	464	Jan 15, 2008 by silverbrumby
	update (Preview) hi all.i had my biopsy sat,my arm hurts,and i have 6 stitches..SAH HAD THE WEEKEND OFF WORK,{acually he has every weekend off}but he didnt want to take me,so i called a friend and she went with me to drive me back home, i got on the computer sat nite for few min and now i know why he didnt go he wanted to look at...	bev	3	524	Jan 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	denial...him and me (Preview) I'm new here. I have this sort of ex-boyfriend, who keeps coming back, when he's the one that ended it. He was a non drinking alcoholic (or whatever you call it) when we were together. Recently he has started drinking again, and leaning on me. He just spent a week with me after asking if he could come h...	xcskier	5	436	Jan 14, 2008 by xcskier
	interview got cancelled (Preview) My interview was cancelled they want me to be available to start work tomorrow. I guess there is always a catch 22. When I was unemployed I couldn't get a job to save my life. Now I am employed no one wants me to give notice! I am keeping on keeping on. I sent in the fee for my dog license today. Both dogs are co...	maresie	4	520	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	I Am Going to Scream (Preview) Well, the silent treatment continues here. He went to work yesterday, it was just for a couple of hours, but he didn't call or come home from 8am, until 5pm, so I had made plans to go out with my friend who will soon be moving to Nashville. We have been friends thru thick and thin....25 years or so. As I w...	Becky1	7	650	Jan 14, 2008 by Becky1
	Sponsee of 7 yrs died, it hurts... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm really feeling bad tonight. A sponsee of 7 years that I truly got to know, befriend and cherish died about 2 weeks ago, after a really short bout with cancer. He died clean and sober. He was a true friend in recovery. We worked steps together, did 12 Step calls together, went to AA and NA so...	John	13	834	Jan 14, 2008 by aunitedway
	We Got Us a Birthday Girl (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((Carolinagirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday tomorrow! Go Capricorns !!!	Maria123	16	673	Jan 14, 2008 by aunitedway
	working it or letting go (Preview) I keep wondering about lots of things and maybe you have too. Looking for esh as my head hurts from turning things over and over again. One thing I wonder is how do you know when to quit trying to figure things out and letting go, letting HP. Maybe just stopping the wondering is good and give it all up to HP...	ddub	2	544	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	pride, ego and vanity (Preview) Not posted for a while, but feeling really mixed up at the moment I think its to do with resentments, ego and my pride and still some unhealthy thinking patterns. My aboyf now ex! decided to behave in an unbearable manner which caused a lot of upsets and rows almost as though he was trying to get me to kick h...	chick29	1	725	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	Burdens (Preview) (((((((Family))))), A very good morning and Happy Sunday to you all. After reading some posts, I thought this might help us all. It was yesterday's meditation from: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg (Hazelden 1991) This is an abbreviated version. Freedom means choos...	Karilynn	6	421	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	another interview tomorrow (Preview) I am going on another interview tomorrow. Its in a University which should be exempt from the recession thats looming. I am thinking the recession may help me in some ways. Apartments are coming available, the rent is dropping, pretty soon I will find a place that will let me in with the dogs, bad cre...	maresie	0	358	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	The Choice to Drink (Preview) I'm spinning this off of another thread, where someone mentioned that their A said they drank by choice, not by compulsion.... I stuggled with that for many years, long before I went to AA. Deep down, I knew I had many symptoms of alcoholism. But I believed that "real" alcoholics drank co...	barisax	7	717	Jan 14, 2008 by barisax
	The pity potty... (Preview) Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?) Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty. I sat there thin...	Jerry F	12	1053	Jan 14, 2008 by leggo456
	Breaks my heart! (Preview) My 10 yr old daughter absolutely adores her father. She is his greatest defender and protector. She is also one who likes to know exactly what is happening in her life. The limbo we have been in regarding impending divorce is torturing her. She has been begging for months now just to have some resolu...	Loupiness	7	465	Jan 14, 2008 by maz
	Why its so hard to put ourselves first...? (Preview) I have been thinking that one of the reasons why its so hard for me to put myself first is because I was born and raised watching the A's in my life do the same thing through their disease/addiction. I have found this so abhorrent, this inability of them to see that they put their alcohol/drugs/whatever f...	Jean4444	7	754	Jan 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	The Serenity Prayer... with notations from me... (Preview) The Serenity Prayer by Reinold Niebuhr. Interpretation/understanding/perceptions - just one take on the meaning behind the words - not suggesting anyone else should interpret/understand/perceive this prayer as I do, I just thought I would share my perspective with you. by Heartbroken. God gr...	Heartbroken	3	572	Jan 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	my own marriage (Preview) I have spent today pacing and asking my HP to stop me from any action. So far I haven't done a thing. No phone ringing, but I wasn't going to answer anyway. Final call today from son was "she (His EX) is threatening to call sherriff on me" and he hung up. I hope he isn't in a cell right now because sh...	omajoy	2	646	Jan 13, 2008 by Jen
	I feel like I'm becoming the monster (Preview) My therapist has been recommending that I attend al anon meetings for sometime now, but with my one and a half year old and my full time university experience i find myself with little free time. I have been with my partner for a little over two years and emotionally and mentally i find myself giving up....	wahineal	6	822	Jan 13, 2008 by serendipity
	Catching Myself 'Mothering' my AH (Preview) I was wondering if any of you have this same challenge to overcome: Mothering your A. I'm separated from my recovering AH, although we see each other on weekends (usually). We have two grown children, both in their early 30s. I have no difficulty not giving them unsolicited advice. For example, o...	stormie	8	686	Jan 13, 2008 by stormie
	where's Debilyn? (Preview) Hey, you, if you are reading this please send a sign! Hugs, missing your thoughts/words, J.	Jean4444	1	374	Jan 13, 2008 by round3
	drama making me sicker this morning (Preview) As I type, I am fighting just collaspsing. If anyone is on-line right now and can give me some help, please I need it. Our family drama with EXDIL, son has escalated into nasty communication between them. Son is angry with me as well because I try to talk sense into him. He is frantic that he's seen son onl...	omajoy	5	602	Jan 13, 2008 by abbyal
	Round and Round he goes (Preview) where he stops.....nobody knows. Nothing like the silent treatment for two days followed by a day of an engaged and semi-helpful spouse who decided to talk to me today. He thanked me for reaching out to him, and my response was "I know it wasn't me"...which set him into another "pen...	optimistundone	3	625	Jan 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	the interview (Preview) i went for the interview on Friday and I felt it went well. I could have done better on some questions but I think I did pretty well overall. I hope I manage to get in there. My current job is up in the air. They are looking for someone but they expect me to stick around for ever for that. I am not willing to. I'v...	maresie	2	412	Jan 13, 2008 by nmike
	I'm Guilty (Preview) I'm guilty of letting him drive when I know he's drunk. Is it something I could be convicted of? Am I legally obligated to call the police? What if he killed somebody, and I told the police...yeah, he was really drunk. I should have stopped him. I thought about it. I had oppertunities. He wouldn't hav...	RainyJamie	17	722	Jan 13, 2008 by Diva
	Wow...I am so humbled by your kindness and candor... (Preview) Thank you all so very much for your heartfelt honesty and warm welcome. You truly made me feel welcome and comfortable - in such a way that I haven't felt in years. As I'm sure you all know - having kids can change your life. Being involved with an alcoholic changes it further. Separating from or divorc...	mrcjschu	5	3225	Jan 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Birthday Report! (Preview) I have had an unbelievable birthday. I went on a date for lunch with a guy I met online and he FLEW in to take me out. He shows up with a dozen roses. Come to find out he's a millionaire. And then he buys me a new GPS as a gift. On the first date. I'm a little wary but being glad for today going so well and as so...	carolinagirl	9	483	Jan 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Being Somebody (Preview) After reading carolinagirl's post about being shunned by her co-workers, it made me reflect on my life and how I perceived myself and my friends over the years. I was a supreme loner as a teenager. I had no really true friends in high school. I talked to people plenty, about all kinds of stuff, but had n...	barisax	3	450	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	Omnia Vincit Amor (Preview) My AH and I have not spoken in 11 days, except a couple of sentences about my car which needed repair. All he does is drink. However, after not talking or eating meals together or ANYTHING he did fix steaks for supper Sunday night. We didn't talk, and I didn't know he was fixing supper, but he did. I miss m...	Becky1	7	2702	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	Conflict with family (Preview) I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...	Mariedl05	7	598	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	I did it! I went to my first f2f!!! (Preview) I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...	desperate for help	7	811	Jan 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	self love (Preview) I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...	Jean4444	5	676	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	new here.... (Preview) Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......	tma0413	7	637	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	Thank you for sharing my burden (Preview) Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...	concerned123	5	718	Jan 12, 2008 by Diva
	My stepson asked me (Preview) if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...	Lost but still trying	5	699	Jan 12, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	Hello - I'm new here... (Preview) My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...	mrcjschu	9	741	Jan 11, 2008 by Heartbroken
	saving my own life rather than his life. (Preview) For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...	maresie	1	798	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	AH told me he's going to drink (Preview) After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...	Chetch	11	730	Jan 11, 2008 by Chetch
	Isolation (Preview) As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...	maresie	1	476	Jan 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	HELLO (Preview) i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...	wantneeda	4	660	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	Loss of hope (Preview) Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...	bluecrow	2	470	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Cravings disappeared (Preview) For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...	maresie	4	359	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	What's new... (Preview) Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...	kikgirl517	5	531	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling alot of anxiety! (Preview) Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...	desperate for help	4	655	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	Over involvement. (Preview) I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...	maresie	4	617	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	I hear y'all (Preview) So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...	serendipity	3	424	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Still having problems with myself and my kids (Preview) So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...	carolinagirl	8	899	Jan 11, 2008 by Loupiness
	prayers needed interview tomorrow afternoon. (Preview) the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...	maresie	4	789	Jan 10, 2008 by carolinagirl
	So Much Death, But New Life (Preview) This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...	Becky1	5	607	Jan 10, 2008 by gknee
	Why did this happen? (Preview) I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...	serendipity	9	682	Jan 10, 2008 by nmike
	Please Help! (Preview) I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...	concerned123	6	665	Jan 10, 2008 by desperate for help
	I am looking for words of wisdom (Preview) My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...	cindy1359	12	516	Jan 10, 2008 by maresie
	stuffing the drama (Preview) I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...	omajoy	8	698	Jan 10, 2008 by omajoy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.