Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...

tma0413 · tma0413

Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......

concerned123 · concerned123

Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...

mrcjschu · mrcjschu

My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...

maresie · maresie

For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...

Chetch · Chetch

After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...

maresie · maresie

As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...

wantneeda · wantneeda

i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...

bluecrow · bluecrow

Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...

maresie · maresie

For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...

kikgirl517 · kikgirl517

Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...

maresie · maresie

I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...

serendipity · serendipity

So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...

maresie · maresie

the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...

Becky1 · Becky1

This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...

serendipity · serendipity

I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...

concerned123 · concerned123

I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...

cindy1359 · cindy1359

My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...

omajoy · omajoy

I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...

Lani · Lani

Thought you would like this: What happens as we practice detachment more and more: "As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean? It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mea...

afglin · afglin

Have you heard the new song by the Eagles? It's called One day at a Time. ENJOY! LIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A

maresie · maresie

One of the core components of my codependency is feeling stuck and not having good boundaries. I have a room mate as you all know who orchestrated his firing in December. He really played a good number on being shocked the job he was in fired him after he took time off when he was told that was no leave. He...

"Family" members... · Diva

Look...Look! The MIP family now numbers over 4000. Amazing!! Diva

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its my wedding anniversary today and I need your prayers and good thoughts. Its just so sad. My wedding day really was one of the happiest days of my life. It really was. But its like I bought a ticket to Paris, France and ended up in Paris, TX. somehow. Or worse. I know this is about my expectations again, a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

really trying to get to grips with old habits and old responses and learning to own my reactions. The further I walk down this path of recovery the more courage I seem to be picking up. To date I have owned a number of reactions that I now see as being OTT or unhealthy or just plain fear-based or learned reac...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Alot of stuff has happened in the last two weeks with AH. It has gotten to the point that I just can handle it anymore. He gave excuse after excuse why he drinks. Finally i told him that he had to choose bewteen his family or the alcohol. I gave him time to think about this. I told him that he if chooses to...

serenity62 · serenity62

January Business Meeting Minutes MIP January Business Meeting Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer. 1st thing on agenda is the current OP Schedule,which was posted. Discussion on empty chairperson slots were discussed. General responsibilities and requirements of chairing an...

round3 · round3

Sometimes I have really strong "how did I get this serenity?" days. Those days are such gifts. Today is not one of them. I have been writing and writing and soul-searching and soul-searching, and reading so many posts on this board...... just trying to understand my "stuff"...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I've been reading the posts about co-workers, and friends and real friends and so on. I've been thinking as I've been reading, "wow, thank god I'm not the only one in a toxic dysfunctional work environment." There's the awkward silences whenever I walk into the crowded break room,...

SLS · SLS

I woke up this morning and it seems to have run away. If anyone has any information about it, I would appreciate it if you would let me know. It was a line from Courage to Change, which is CAL, so I can't imagine that anyone found it objectionable. And, I would hope that if someone did find it objection...

maire rua · maire rua

Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in t...

spirit · spirit

Hi, since it is not cool for me to go out to events without getting accused of something, is there an online Sponsor or is it here in the forum? thank you.

kissers · kissers

If Mr. A. is a social drinker and after a night of drinking he hits Mr. B's parked car, it would be right to blame Mr. A. for that wrong action (hitting the car) because it could very well result in Mr. A. changing his behavior (because Mr. A is a social drinker, he could stop drinking solely because of the co...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed for me that the things that helped me were not things that he did or even things that I did but really just a change in the way that I think about things. I think the most important things for me have been to stop feeling responsible for the way other people feel. I remember being afraid to sa...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am having a difficult day today. My AH has been asleep for close to 14 hours. He took off work last night. Needless to say, today has been difficult with the baby. She woke up earlier than normal and has been extra cranky b/c she is off schedule. Minimal writing done today. I am angry b/c I have such...

ally · ally

KT Tunstall - Saving My Face Lyrics See The Look On My Face From Staying Too Long In One Place But Every Time I Try To Leave I Find I Keep On Stalling Feel Like A Big Old Stone Standing By A Strength Of My Own But Every Time The Morning Breaks I Know Im Closer To Falling Im All Out Of Love, All Out Of Faith I Would Gi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking about it after I calmed down yesterday and I decided this really wasn't such a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, this completely changes the way I feel about a few people at my job. I had told my boss repeatedly that I wanted to go and asked when they were going, even tried to set up going. She i...

barisax · barisax

Back in the early 90s, I had a rare gift come my way. My alcoholic father died long ago. I never knew him as a younger man - he was already in his 40s and on his second marriage when I was born. My father was, in hindsight, a teenager who never grew up. He could be bitter and sarcastic, smug and irresponsib...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Where have you vanished to?

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...

souljoy · souljoy

AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...

omajoy · omajoy

Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...

debilyn · debilyn

You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...

spirit · spirit

hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...

mishka · mishka

I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...

omajoy · omajoy

Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...

Alicia · Alicia

AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...

bev · bev

hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...

carolena · carolena

Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...

kissers · kissers

I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...

TXSusan · TXSusan

I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Conflict with family (Preview) I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...	Mariedl05	7	518	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	I did it! I went to my first f2f!!! (Preview) I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...	desperate for help	7	717	Jan 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	self love (Preview) I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...	Jean4444	5	591	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	new here.... (Preview) Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......	tma0413	7	564	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	Thank you for sharing my burden (Preview) Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...	concerned123	5	622	Jan 12, 2008 by Diva
	My stepson asked me (Preview) if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...	Lost but still trying	5	627	Jan 12, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	Hello - I'm new here... (Preview) My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...	mrcjschu	9	664	Jan 11, 2008 by Heartbroken
	saving my own life rather than his life. (Preview) For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...	maresie	1	720	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	AH told me he's going to drink (Preview) After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...	Chetch	11	646	Jan 11, 2008 by Chetch
	Isolation (Preview) As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...	maresie	1	391	Jan 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	HELLO (Preview) i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...	wantneeda	4	569	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	Loss of hope (Preview) Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...	bluecrow	2	396	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Cravings disappeared (Preview) For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...	maresie	4	279	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	What's new... (Preview) Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...	kikgirl517	5	452	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling alot of anxiety! (Preview) Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...	desperate for help	4	573	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	Over involvement. (Preview) I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...	maresie	4	536	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	I hear y'all (Preview) So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...	serendipity	3	343	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Still having problems with myself and my kids (Preview) So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...	carolinagirl	8	823	Jan 11, 2008 by Loupiness
	prayers needed interview tomorrow afternoon. (Preview) the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...	maresie	4	717	Jan 10, 2008 by carolinagirl
	So Much Death, But New Life (Preview) This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...	Becky1	5	528	Jan 10, 2008 by gknee
	Why did this happen? (Preview) I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...	serendipity	9	602	Jan 10, 2008 by nmike
	Please Help! (Preview) I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...	concerned123	6	586	Jan 10, 2008 by desperate for help
	I am looking for words of wisdom (Preview) My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...	cindy1359	12	443	Jan 10, 2008 by maresie
	stuffing the drama (Preview) I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...	omajoy	8	619	Jan 10, 2008 by omajoy
	PRACTICE DETACHMENT (Preview) Thought you would like this: What happens as we practice detachment more and more: "As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean? It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mea...	Lani	3	384	Jan 10, 2008 by Codependent
	song-One day at a Time (Preview) Have you heard the new song by the Eagles? It's called One day at a Time. ENJOY! LIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A	afglin	2	283	Jan 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	moving away from rather than towards (Preview) One of the core components of my codependency is feeling stuck and not having good boundaries. I have a room mate as you all know who orchestrated his firing in December. He really played a good number on being shocked the job he was in fired him after he took time off when he was told that was no leave. He...	maresie	1	479	Jan 10, 2008 by Jen
	"Family" members... (Preview) Look...Look! The MIP family now numbers over 4000. Amazing!! Diva	Diva	7	427	Jan 10, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) Its my wedding anniversary today and I need your prayers and good thoughts. Its just so sad. My wedding day really was one of the happiest days of my life. It really was. But its like I bought a ticket to Paris, France and ended up in Paris, TX. somehow. Or worse. I know this is about my expectations again, a...	Jean4444	10	444	Jan 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Owning my reactions... (Preview) really trying to get to grips with old habits and old responses and learning to own my reactions. The further I walk down this path of recovery the more courage I seem to be picking up. To date I have owned a number of reactions that I now see as being OTT or unhealthy or just plain fear-based or learned reac...	Heartbroken	1	409	Jan 10, 2008 by Jen
	Am I being mean? (Preview) Alot of stuff has happened in the last two weeks with AH. It has gotten to the point that I just can handle it anymore. He gave excuse after excuse why he drinks. Finally i told him that he had to choose bewteen his family or the alcohol. I gave him time to think about this. I told him that he if chooses to...	desperate for help	20	665	Jan 10, 2008 by optimistundone
	January Business Meeting Minutes: (Preview) January Business Meeting Minutes MIP January Business Meeting Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer. 1st thing on agenda is the current OP Schedule,which was posted. Discussion on empty chairperson slots were discussed. General responsibilities and requirements of chairing an...	serenity62	0	293	Jan 10, 2008 by serenity62
	Overcome or Accept? (Preview) Sometimes I have really strong "how did I get this serenity?" days. Those days are such gifts. Today is not one of them. I have been writing and writing and soul-searching and soul-searching, and reading so many posts on this board...... just trying to understand my "stuff"...	round3	7	360	Jan 9, 2008 by round3
	posts past couple of days re work (Preview) I've been reading the posts about co-workers, and friends and real friends and so on. I've been thinking as I've been reading, "wow, thank god I'm not the only one in a toxic dysfunctional work environment." There's the awkward silences whenever I walk into the crowded break room,...	Tiger2006	5	591	Jan 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Has anyone seen my signature, I think it ran away.... (Preview) I woke up this morning and it seems to have run away. If anyone has any information about it, I would appreciate it if you would let me know. It was a line from Courage to Change, which is CAL, so I can't imagine that anyone found it objectionable. And, I would hope that if someone did find it objection...	SLS	3	499	Jan 9, 2008 by Jen
	feeling so resentful (Preview) Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in t...	maire rua	3	295	Jan 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Is there such a thing as Online Sponsers? (Preview) Hi, since it is not cool for me to go out to events without getting accused of something, is there an online Sponsor or is it here in the forum? thank you.	spirit	3	469	Jan 9, 2008 by nycbt
	Now I understand but it still doesn't take away the anger and hurt (Preview) If Mr. A. is a social drinker and after a night of drinking he hits Mr. B's parked car, it would be right to blame Mr. A. for that wrong action (hitting the car) because it could very well result in Mr. A. changing his behavior (because Mr. A is a social drinker, he could stop drinking solely because of the co...	kissers	2	451	Jan 9, 2008 by Jen
	The way we think about things. (Preview) I have noticed for me that the things that helped me were not things that he did or even things that I did but really just a change in the way that I think about things. I think the most important things for me have been to stop feeling responsible for the way other people feel. I remember being afraid to sa...	carolinagirl	5	573	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	Expectations and Anger (Preview) I am having a difficult day today. My AH has been asleep for close to 14 hours. He took off work last night. Needless to say, today has been difficult with the baby. She woke up earlier than normal and has been extra cranky b/c she is off schedule. Minimal writing done today. I am angry b/c I have such...	optimistundone	7	528	Jan 8, 2008 by possible future
	LISTEN TO THIS SONG:: (Preview) KT Tunstall - Saving My Face Lyrics See The Look On My Face From Staying Too Long In One Place But Every Time I Try To Leave I Find I Keep On Stalling Feel Like A Big Old Stone Standing By A Strength Of My Own But Every Time The Morning Breaks I Know Im Closer To Falling Im All Out Of Love, All Out Of Faith I Would Gi...	ally	6	479	Jan 8, 2008 by getoverit
	You know what? (Preview) I was thinking about it after I calmed down yesterday and I decided this really wasn't such a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, this completely changes the way I feel about a few people at my job. I had told my boss repeatedly that I wanted to go and asked when they were going, even tried to set up going. She i...	carolinagirl	4	541	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	My Crazy Uncle (Preview) Back in the early 90s, I had a rare gift come my way. My alcoholic father died long ago. I never knew him as a younger man - he was already in his 40s and on his second marriage when I was born. My father was, in hindsight, a teenager who never grew up. He could be bitter and sarcastic, smug and irresponsib...	barisax	3	452	Jan 8, 2008 by round3
	Kim 65 (Preview) Where have you vanished to?	carolinagirl	5	694	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	He says he is leavin...please pray (Preview) Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...	Codependent	10	765	Jan 8, 2008 by Codependent
	Not Sure What to do (Preview) AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...	souljoy	4	543	Jan 8, 2008 by debilyn
	drama outcome---not good (Preview) Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...	omajoy	10	547	Jan 8, 2008 by greta
	I'm really hurt right now (Preview) I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...	carolinagirl	11	667	Jan 8, 2008 by DD
	beware explicit pig story (c: (Preview) You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...	debilyn	8	622	Jan 7, 2008 by debilyn
	I hate the weekends (Preview) hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...	spirit	10	480	Jan 7, 2008 by spirit
	He says he feels abandoned (Preview) Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...	Lost but still trying	7	748	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	new/hurting. (Preview) I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...	mishka	5	732	Jan 7, 2008 by mishka
	drama continues (Preview) Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...	omajoy	6	513	Jan 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	What is normal anyhow? (Preview) ... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...	Loupiness	4	451	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	What a night! (Preview) Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...	Loupiness	3	521	Jan 7, 2008 by serendipity
	Have I fallen out of love with him...or is it the alcoholism (Preview) AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...	Alicia	7	694	Jan 7, 2008 by Alicia
	prayers needed (Preview) hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...	bev	11	646	Jan 7, 2008 by mel123
	Carolena's back (Preview) Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...	carolena	5	522	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Funny Realization (Preview) I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...	kissers	6	1158	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Addicted to the Adict? (Preview) I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...	TXSusan	4	474	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.