Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ddub · ddub

I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...

ddub · ddub

Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...

AlaMom · AlaMom

How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...

bev · bev

when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...

Christy · Christy

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you must. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statem...

tryingtoheal · tryingtoheal

Soon to be ex AH has always had some anger issues, not with us his family but with drivers on the road, store clerks etc...not much patience. I had to stop all contact with him over a month ago for my serenity and am filing for divorce this week. I know he was picked up in a bar a month ago by a police officer, wh...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have had some spiritual awakenings in my recovery, and I wanted to share one of those with you today I learned many many moons ago how to crochet, but life got in the way, and when I married the alcoholic/addict, well, that was a full-time job trying to straighten him out! I never even considered croche...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) Got a myspace web page up and running. Feel free to drop on by and say hi... http://www.myspace.com/onthewayback (you need to have myspace to leave me a comment)... Love Ally Girl

charlotteyorkgoldenblatt · charlotteyorkgoldenblatt

A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Thankyou for your caring replies to my posts. I hope I am not posting too much. I met my A today to talk after being separated for 6 days. We hugged each other and he (and I) sobbed out loud. He doesn't understand why I am doing this and is concerned about how we are going to manage two homes. I wrote him a lon...

ernie · ernie

Can anyone tell me how many of you have had your husband/wife/Sig other find soberity in AA, worked the program and have had stayed together? I see so many in AA who are hooked up with other recovering A's I just wonder whats the norm, what are the chances of "relationship survival" once the a...

Aloha · Aloha

Ugh. I really dislike having to recognize things in me that I thought, somehow, I was "above" or even incapable of being. I finally got my AH to see a counselor. Nooo. NO! Wait - *I* didn't get him to see the counselor. HE made the appointment. It just sucks that I was the one to initially su...

serendipity · serendipity

So, I am again in financial straights. I am seeing the pattern (FINALLY!) and am trying to figure it out. Ok, I am 56 dollars overdrawn in my checking. And that is all I have. NO savings, no IRA or 401K or credit, nothing. I live paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't begin to cover living. It really should s...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I kicked my husband out of the house 10 days ago and every day I feel different. I miss him and I don't. I just feel so weird. I can't decide that I have done the right thing or not, now that I have leveled out. I crack a tooth and needed emergency treatment, guess who I rang when I didn't have enough money? Gues...

Dale · Dale

If anyone is going to the conferance in july, and is looking for someone to split the cost of a room. send me a message. Thanks, Dale

Destynee · Destynee

My 72 day sober AH relapsed. I found beer cans hidden in the garbage (by accident-I dropped my keys in there and was digging them out.) And then I saw the 12 pack box in the outside garbage. I kind of felt he may have been drinking because he came to bed really late the last 2 nights which is unusual. Do I sa...

tma0413 · tma0413

Just a quick update to say Thank you.... Today was the 2nd court date for my AH for his OUIL on a snowmobile. As we drove out there and waited while the lawyer talked to the prosecuter, I was oddly very calm. The day of the arraignment, I was nervous and sick to my stomach all day. Even after his lawyer c...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

As a direct result of the very violent relationship that I experienced as the battered wife of an A, I have found it really difficult to even contemplate a loving relationship that might result in my finding a husband that I can go through the rest of my life with. I saw my marriage as being a union for life...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have s...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, The A got beat up by 5 people in the jail he was originally placed. Not sure what happened, but apparently he broke 4 or 5 bones around his eye socket and it may require reconstructive surgery. His mom paid to have him bonded out of that jail and transferred to another one that has a warrant on him- g...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have noticed that I tend to pile on tasks, jobs, etc. when I am freaking out and feeling overwhelmed instead of simplifying. I can see that this "saying yes" or not being able to say "no" re: work/career stuff right now is my way of burying land mines for myself and sabotaging my s...

concerned123 · concerned123

My AB gave me the best news 3 days ago. He said that he was going to quit drinking because he was tired of it and "tired of feeling like shit every morning". he said this as he was pouring all of his leftover beer down the drain. i was thrilled, but i remained calm and told him that i was proud of h...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I've been doing some "soul searching" tonight. The last year of my life has been one big, ugly, merry-go-round. I have had every emotion know to man and woman, I've felt, jealousy, fear, pain, anger, hate, I've cried buckets over and over again. Rese...

Becky1 · Becky1

Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....

concerned123 · concerned123

I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...

melamom815 · melamom815

Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...

redrelic · redrelic

Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...

Diva · Diva

My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...

Christy · Christy

It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...

maresie · maresie

One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...

jmh137 · jmh137

Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137

ddub · ddub

So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....

round3 · round3

As I posted earlier, I've been having issues with cutting people off who I have trouble with in my life. Sometimes that may be okay, sometimes I know it just isn't. Sometimes other things are at play and I just need to use the tools of al-anon to deal with it. Last night is a perfect example. Last night...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Dear Alanons, After being so distraught with grief, for a few days, I am feeling much better! Much better. Actually....I am feeling stronger by the minute! I feel so much weight has been taken off me. I am not trying to make this heavy, demanding, draining relationship HAPPEN ANYMORE! Even though I am...

gardengal · gardengal

Every year I post this same question, to make people think. Finding a nook in your home, a place in the garden or yard, that you call your very own. An oasis of sorts where you can escape to when needed to regain your sanity. In our harried lives we tend to forget to take time to rest, meditate, relax, find...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi everyone, I've not posted in quite a while,but felt the need to come and share with all you wonderful people again. It's about a year ago since I first found MIP, and I realise today when I reflect back to last year how very confused I'd become again then. I'm still challenging myself to live in this day...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...collapsed at the doctors' surgery today and had to be brought home after being taken to hospital for another check up. My friend is clearing up down stairs after bringing me home, feeding me and making up drinks for the night. So this is just a quickie before I bed down for the rest of the night. My ve...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I moved into a house with a lot of of other people which has been very very stressful for me. One of the people in the house turned out to be a psychopath. A total liar, bully and a well I won't say anymore. Eventually after tons of complaints the landlord made him move out. He went last Saturda...

tea2 · tea2

Hi Family One of the reoccuring topics I see on here is money and finances.I'm certainly not breaking news by saying the cost of gas is ever rising. So I felt by sharing these links (which I have found to be pretty accurate) others might find them to be a useful tool as well. http://www.gasbuddy.com/an...

Patrick34 · Patrick34

I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...

greta · greta

Last night my brother mercifully died from lung cancer. He had been on hospice since October and had been doing very well. He was able to say goodbye and make amends to those close to him before the end. The end came so fast it was surprising. I am happy he did not suffer a long and painful death. Howev...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...

maresie · maresie

I am just determined to get benefits, holidays and time to myself. I am sick of being a slave. I got stuck with all the work in my last job while everyone else could take off for everything. I asked for one morning off to go tot he doctor and they had a fit! I deserve better. I deserve to have a life. I deserve t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As I last posted, my ah is about to significantly reduce his time at work in order to heal his back and work his recovery program. This is a man whose greatest addiction has been work, and ultimately his out of balance life got him to the point he is today. He has gone from not being able to attend his child...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family))) This Sunday Feb 10th at 9pm EST is our monthly group conscious/business meeting. The agenda for the meeting is: Secretary's Report Treasurer's Report Old Business: Meeting Schedule/Chair Schedule Update New Business: Meeting Protocol & Manners The meeting will be i...

maresie · maresie

I'm off to another interview this morning. I need those benefits so bad! Please send up some prayers for me to have some stabilty, sanity and comfort in my work environment. Maresie.

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Since the A has been out of jail he has insisted on emailing, calling, texting and completely violating the restraining order and disrespecting my wishes. My son answered the phone once and I told him don't call me anymore. I will call you in March if you're still doing well you can see the kids. I tho...

QOD · QOD

He called to apologize again and tell me how much he LOVES me and doesn't want to live without me. He gave me all the same crap he always gives me. How I am what keeps him going every day and he needs me. How much he loves. How he is going to prove to me that he loves me and be a better man. He is going to work har...

maresie · maresie

Last year when the A was ill, I pulled out al the stops to take care of him, found him a place, fed him, took care of him, supported him, encouraged him and worked day and night to support it all. Now I am ill, really absolutely exhausted to the bone and I don't have the same ferocious passion to take care of me...

bev · bev

hi my family, i was wondering if some of have gone though this..my daughter is expecting in 4 weeks as in my earlier post the baby isnt gaining weight{daughter hasnt gained any weight in 2 months}THE ULTRASOUND SAID THE BABY IS ALMOST 2LBS{DEC 10}i want to go up there to be with my daughter and also in cas...

optimistundone · optimistundone

If I could eliminate 2 words from A's vocabulary they would "probably" and "maybe." He says this about most everything, which I had not realized until recently. It's just enough to give me hope that "maybe he'll get up with the baby", "probably won't get up w...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), For all of you in the path of the storms, I'm sending you all the love and prayers I can. Here's hoping you're all safe and sound. Let us know you're okay or if you need anything. Love and prayers for all those affected by the storms. I know we have some Alanon families in the area...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some days ago someone in the family recommended this Thought for the day website and I went to visit it. Since then I have read some great thoughts, however I was particularly struck by this one and it has made me reassess my own Strength and Weakness. Take what you like from it or simply discard it, how...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I Hi Friends, I've been in a funk the past few weeks, but think I finally cracked it a bit by looking at my divorce papers (a month later) and making a decision about and phoning an attorney. Time to move on. Things are shifting a bit, and I see God clearly at work. It's odd though, it doesn't bring me peac...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hullo fellow alanons. After refusing to play alcoholic games anymore and asking my AH to stay away, I am now in my 5th day of separation. The pain is setting in. The loss the sadness. Oh how I miss him He is distraught and shocked beyond belief that I actually mean it. I have taken the biggest risk of my life...

QOD · QOD

Well, I have to say that I expected him to EVENTUALLY regret how he treated me Sunday and Monday night. I figured he would apologize and ask for forgiveness. I just didn't expect it this soon. He called me at lunch time today and said he was sorry for the things he said and he didn't mean any of it. He was h...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	stuck between the dream & the reality (Preview) I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...	ddub	2	611	Feb 14, 2008 by nmike
	I thought it was my fault (Preview) Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...	debilyn	10	775	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	extended family (Preview) Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...	ddub	5	479	Feb 13, 2008 by Loupiness
	Anniversary... (Preview) How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....	AlaMom	7	573	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	Please would you say a prayer... (Preview) ...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...	Heartbroken	8	593	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	talked to SAH (Preview) when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...	bev	3	461	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	Great Ideas (Preview) 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you must. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statem...	Christy	6	328	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	in need of wisdom (Preview) Soon to be ex AH has always had some anger issues, not with us his family but with drivers on the road, store clerks etc...not much patience. I had to stop all contact with him over a month ago for my serenity and am filing for divorce this week. I know he was picked up in a bar a month ago by a police officer, wh...	tryingtoheal	4	477	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	An analogy-beauty and imperfection (Preview) I have had some spiritual awakenings in my recovery, and I wanted to share one of those with you today I learned many many moons ago how to crochet, but life got in the way, and when I married the alcoholic/addict, well, that was a full-time job trying to straighten him out! I never even considered croche...	Tenderheartsks	5	654	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	MYSPACE..come say hi.. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) Got a myspace web page up and running. Feel free to drop on by and say hi... http://www.myspace.com/onthewayback (you need to have myspace to leave me a comment)... Love Ally Girl	ally	0	415	Feb 13, 2008 by ally
	Jeckyll and Hyde (Preview) A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...	charlotteyorkgoldenblatt	16	596	Feb 13, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	He doesn't understand???Why??? (Preview) Thankyou for your caring replies to my posts. I hope I am not posting too much. I met my A today to talk after being separated for 6 days. We hugged each other and he (and I) sobbed out loud. He doesn't understand why I am doing this and is concerned about how we are going to manage two homes. I wrote him a lon...	silverbrumby	7	524	Feb 13, 2008 by Jen
	Question/Poll (Preview) Can anyone tell me how many of you have had your husband/wife/Sig other find soberity in AA, worked the program and have had stayed together? I see so many in AA who are hooked up with other recovering A's I just wonder whats the norm, what are the chances of "relationship survival" once the a...	ernie	10	736	Feb 13, 2008 by Jen
	"Co-dependent"? Noooo!! (Preview) Ugh. I really dislike having to recognize things in me that I thought, somehow, I was "above" or even incapable of being. I finally got my AH to see a counselor. Nooo. NO! Wait - I didn't get him to see the counselor. HE made the appointment. It just sucks that I was the one to initially su...	Aloha	10	695	Feb 13, 2008 by Aloha
	graditude...lots of it! (long) (Preview) So, I am again in financial straights. I am seeing the pattern (FINALLY!) and am trying to figure it out. Ok, I am 56 dollars overdrawn in my checking. And that is all I have. NO savings, no IRA or 401K or credit, nothing. I live paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't begin to cover living. It really should s...	serendipity	5	616	Feb 13, 2008 by cookie1971
	Reality bites (Preview) I kicked my husband out of the house 10 days ago and every day I feel different. I miss him and I don't. I just feel so weird. I can't decide that I have done the right thing or not, now that I have leveled out. I crack a tooth and needed emergency treatment, guess who I rang when I didn't have enough money? Gues...	silverbrumby	10	692	Feb 12, 2008 by round3
	International conferance (Preview) If anyone is going to the conferance in july, and is looking for someone to split the cost of a room. send me a message. Thanks, Dale	Dale	5	324	Feb 12, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Sober AH relapsed-what do I do? (Preview) My 72 day sober AH relapsed. I found beer cans hidden in the garbage (by accident-I dropped my keys in there and was digging them out.) And then I saw the 12 pack box in the outside garbage. I kind of felt he may have been drinking because he came to bed really late the last 2 nights which is unusual. Do I sa...	Destynee	5	663	Feb 12, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Thank you!! (Preview) Just a quick update to say Thank you.... Today was the 2nd court date for my AH for his OUIL on a snowmobile. As we drove out there and waited while the lawyer talked to the prosecuter, I was oddly very calm. The day of the arraignment, I was nervous and sick to my stomach all day. Even after his lawyer c...	tma0413	0	285	Feb 12, 2008 by tma0413
	FEAR of never sharing love again... (Preview) As a direct result of the very violent relationship that I experienced as the battered wife of an A, I have found it really difficult to even contemplate a loving relationship that might result in my finding a husband that I can go through the rest of my life with. I saw my marriage as being a union for life...	Heartbroken	3	612	Feb 12, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Understanding reality (Preview) I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have s...	Tiger2006	1	427	Feb 12, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Beat up in Jail (Preview) Well, The A got beat up by 5 people in the jail he was originally placed. Not sure what happened, but apparently he broke 4 or 5 bones around his eye socket and it may require reconstructive surgery. His mom paid to have him bonded out of that jail and transferred to another one that has a warrant on him- g...	Codependent	10	702	Feb 12, 2008 by Codependent
	Too many plates in the air = anxiety (the opposite of serenity?) (Preview) I have noticed that I tend to pile on tasks, jobs, etc. when I am freaking out and feeling overwhelmed instead of simplifying. I can see that this "saying yes" or not being able to say "no" re: work/career stuff right now is my way of burying land mines for myself and sabotaging my s...	Jean4444	6	619	Feb 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Should I nag or support? Should I be angry or undertanding? (Preview) My AB gave me the best news 3 days ago. He said that he was going to quit drinking because he was tired of it and "tired of feeling like shit every morning". he said this as he was pouring all of his leftover beer down the drain. i was thrilled, but i remained calm and told him that i was proud of h...	concerned123	6	568	Feb 12, 2008 by Karilynn
	WHEN OUR ACTIONS HIDE OUR TRUE FEELINGS.. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I've been doing some "soul searching" tonight. The last year of my life has been one big, ugly, merry-go-round. I have had every emotion know to man and woman, I've felt, jealousy, fear, pain, anger, hate, I've cried buckets over and over again. Rese...	ally	5	746	Feb 11, 2008 by maresie
	Here We Go Again (Preview) Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....	Becky1	4	548	Feb 11, 2008 by maresie
	Does it ever work out? (Preview) I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...	concerned123	8	672	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Been a long time!!! (Preview) Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...	melamom815	3	536	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Told him sobriety is only way for us....? (Preview) Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...	silverbrumby	3	611	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	I'm New, and Feeling Raw (Preview) Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...	redrelic	10	606	Feb 11, 2008 by CoDependant
	That old devil suspicion (Preview) My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...	Diva	17	817	Feb 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	Some Grandson Humor (Preview) It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...	Christy	13	689	Feb 11, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	sad news (Preview) One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...	maresie	12	664	Feb 11, 2008 by carosie
	Just joined to relate (Preview) Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137	jmh137	22	860	Feb 11, 2008 by jmh137
	avoidance of reality (Preview) So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....	ddub	2	511	Feb 10, 2008 by round3
	Cutting people off (part 2) (Preview) As I posted earlier, I've been having issues with cutting people off who I have trouble with in my life. Sometimes that may be okay, sometimes I know it just isn't. Sometimes other things are at play and I just need to use the tools of al-anon to deal with it. Last night is a perfect example. Last night...	round3	8	603	Feb 10, 2008 by round3
	Feeling good. (Preview) Dear Alanons, After being so distraught with grief, for a few days, I am feeling much better! Much better. Actually....I am feeling stronger by the minute! I feel so much weight has been taken off me. I am not trying to make this heavy, demanding, draining relationship HAPPEN ANYMORE! Even though I am...	silverbrumby	4	529	Feb 10, 2008 by Becky1
	Where is YOUR private space away from it all? (Preview) Every year I post this same question, to make people think. Finding a nook in your home, a place in the garden or yard, that you call your very own. An oasis of sorts where you can escape to when needed to regain your sanity. In our harried lives we tend to forget to take time to rest, meditate, relax, find...	gardengal	15	615	Feb 10, 2008 by gardengal
	It's Been A While. (Preview) Hi everyone, I've not posted in quite a while,but felt the need to come and share with all you wonderful people again. It's about a year ago since I first found MIP, and I realise today when I reflect back to last year how very confused I'd become again then. I'm still challenging myself to live in this day...	Barbs45	4	379	Feb 10, 2008 by ddub
	Poorly... (Preview) ...collapsed at the doctors' surgery today and had to be brought home after being taken to hospital for another check up. My friend is clearing up down stairs after bringing me home, feeding me and making up drinks for the night. So this is just a quickie before I bed down for the rest of the night. My ve...	Heartbroken	13	450	Feb 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	more hard news (Preview) As you all know I moved into a house with a lot of of other people which has been very very stressful for me. One of the people in the house turned out to be a psychopath. A total liar, bully and a well I won't say anymore. Eventually after tons of complaints the landlord made him move out. He went last Saturda...	maresie	2	450	Feb 9, 2008 by kissers
	Daily Finances (a tool I find helpful) (Preview) Hi Family One of the reoccuring topics I see on here is money and finances.I'm certainly not breaking news by saying the cost of gas is ever rising. So I felt by sharing these links (which I have found to be pretty accurate) others might find them to be a useful tool as well. http://www.gasbuddy.com/an...	tea2	0	368	Feb 9, 2008 by tea2
	My Mother....... (Preview) I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...	Patrick34	8	420	Feb 9, 2008 by Maria123
	should I have or shouldn't I have gone? (Preview) Last night my brother mercifully died from lung cancer. He had been on hospice since October and had been doing very well. He was able to say goodbye and make amends to those close to him before the end. The end came so fast it was surprising. I am happy he did not suffer a long and painful death. Howev...	greta	11	701	Feb 9, 2008 by Maria123
	Tired of being alone! (Preview) I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...	carolinagirl	18	656	Feb 8, 2008 by round3
	going on anoher interview on monday (Preview) I am just determined to get benefits, holidays and time to myself. I am sick of being a slave. I got stuck with all the work in my last job while everyone else could take off for everything. I asked for one morning off to go tot he doctor and they had a fit! I deserve better. I deserve to have a life. I deserve t...	maresie	2	413	Feb 8, 2008 by nmike
	What do you think? (Preview) As I last posted, my ah is about to significantly reduce his time at work in order to heal his back and work his recovery program. This is a man whose greatest addiction has been work, and ultimately his out of balance life got him to the point he is today. He has gone from not being able to attend his child...	Loupiness	8	740	Feb 8, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	February Business Meeting-Sunday Night! (Preview) Hello ((((Family))) This Sunday Feb 10th at 9pm EST is our monthly group conscious/business meeting. The agenda for the meeting is: Secretary's Report Treasurer's Report Old Business: Meeting Schedule/Chair Schedule Update New Business: Meeting Protocol & Manners The meeting will be i...	david62	0	352	Feb 8, 2008 by david62
	prayers please (Preview) I'm off to another interview this morning. I need those benefits so bad! Please send up some prayers for me to have some stabilty, sanity and comfort in my work environment. Maresie.	maresie	6	386	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	Why won't he just leave me alone? (Preview) Since the A has been out of jail he has insisted on emailing, calling, texting and completely violating the restraining order and disrespecting my wishes. My son answered the phone once and I told him don't call me anymore. I will call you in March if you're still doing well you can see the kids. I tho...	carolinagirl	6	532	Feb 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	My ex called again last night -Urrgghhh (Preview) He called to apologize again and tell me how much he LOVES me and doesn't want to live without me. He gave me all the same crap he always gives me. How I am what keeps him going every day and he needs me. How much he loves. How he is going to prove to me that he loves me and be a better man. He is going to work har...	QOD	4	621	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	Taking care of myself the hardest topic (Preview) Last year when the A was ill, I pulled out al the stops to take care of him, found him a place, fed him, took care of him, supported him, encouraged him and worked day and night to support it all. Now I am ill, really absolutely exhausted to the bone and I don't have the same ferocious passion to take care of me...	maresie	5	553	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	has anyone else felt this way (Preview) hi my family, i was wondering if some of have gone though this..my daughter is expecting in 4 weeks as in my earlier post the baby isnt gaining weight{daughter hasnt gained any weight in 2 months}THE ULTRASOUND SAID THE BABY IS ALMOST 2LBS{DEC 10}i want to go up there to be with my daughter and also in cas...	bev	7	618	Feb 8, 2008 by leo
	As and their Rhetoric (Preview) If I could eliminate 2 words from A's vocabulary they would "probably" and "maybe." He says this about most everything, which I had not realized until recently. It's just enough to give me hope that "maybe he'll get up with the baby", "probably won't get up w...	optimistundone	5	486	Feb 8, 2008 by Loupiness
	Prayers for our Alanon families (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), For all of you in the path of the storms, I'm sending you all the love and prayers I can. Here's hoping you're all safe and sound. Let us know you're okay or if you need anything. Love and prayers for all those affected by the storms. I know we have some Alanon families in the area...	Karilynn	2	405	Feb 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	Strength and Weakness... (Preview) Some days ago someone in the family recommended this Thought for the day website and I went to visit it. Since then I have read some great thoughts, however I was particularly struck by this one and it has made me reassess my own Strength and Weakness. Take what you like from it or simply discard it, how...	Heartbroken	2	758	Feb 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	Moving Forward (Preview) I Hi Friends, I've been in a funk the past few weeks, but think I finally cracked it a bit by looking at my divorce papers (a month later) and making a decision about and phoning an attorney. Time to move on. Things are shifting a bit, and I see God clearly at work. It's odd though, it doesn't bring me peac...	Loupiness	7	448	Feb 7, 2008 by ddub
	Separation Pain so great (Preview) Hullo fellow alanons. After refusing to play alcoholic games anymore and asking my AH to stay away, I am now in my 5th day of separation. The pain is setting in. The loss the sadness. Oh how I miss him He is distraught and shocked beyond belief that I actually mean it. I have taken the biggest risk of my life...	silverbrumby	10	694	Feb 7, 2008 by silverbrumby
	My ex called to apologize (Preview) Well, I have to say that I expected him to EVENTUALLY regret how he treated me Sunday and Monday night. I figured he would apologize and ask for forgiveness. I just didn't expect it this soon. He called me at lunch time today and said he was sorry for the things he said and he didn't mean any of it. He was h...	QOD	7	750	Feb 7, 2008 by Codependent
	Jail (Preview) Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...	Codependent	9	811	Feb 7, 2008 by Codependent
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.