Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...

bev · bev

i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...

serendipity · serendipity

I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...

Becky1 · Becky1

Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...

Codependent · Codependent

Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...

Katy · Katy

I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...

Aloha · Aloha

It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Well, I was going back over the last week in "Hope for Today" and February 5's reading made me Think about thinking, and assess my ability to think positively. It says: ...this slogan is intended to help me Think before I act, making sure my actions are well thought out, not impulsive, com...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ya, don't I wish LOL!!! I have been out sick with strep throat since the 8th. I have a ton of time making up to do to get out of the hole! I am just glad to have almost all of my health back again today! Still not quite right but I sure am greatful for what I do have! Some well wishes would be appreciated in rea...

omajoy · omajoy

I just wrote a long post and deleted. My life continues with huge family problems involving semi-sober son, his EX, our grandbaby/custody/visitation, sick husband, more surgeries coming for him, etc., very ill mother and failing father 1,000 miles from me, and me trying to cope with the cancer anx...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) I've done it again. Became emotional involved with a guy. I allowed my feelings for him to get in the way of my "Inner Happiness", and as usual,I allowed him to make me happy. I done the oppisite of what I usually do, I ended the relationship with him. WHY?...

ESH · ESH

OK... I have been away for a while. Computer crashed, lost my "favorites" file, blah! blah! blah! Anyway, have been trying & trying to login, but was unable to find my sign-in name. So, I paged through and through and through all of the posts here, looking for what may be my sign-in...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) It never worked on myspace. You never added...lol PLEASE TRY AGAIN... love Ally Girl

Becky1 · Becky1

Hubby has been pestering me to death to talk, after almost 3 years of not. I don't know how to act, how to handle this revelation. Truth is, I am confused, scared, etc. I left him a 2 page scribbled note on the kitchen table on the way to work yesterday morning. Told him I was confused. How I felt shut dow...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

There's an ancient saying "To you, you may be one person in the world, but to one person, you may be the world." Or something like that. Wow, am I seeing that come true. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I felt like my world was caving in, and I was done. I was going to put in the paperwork t...

nmike · nmike

Well, he left three years ago. Says he wants a divorce but never has filed. I see him now and then for taxes and talk about our kids. It is obvious that he has checked out of this relationships even way before he actually left. He has been sober for over 20 years. People ask questions. I never know what to say...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of co...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hello alanon friends! As another day comes and goes without my AH living in the home anymore, I am slowly but surely relaxing and feeling happy for longer than ever before. I can't think of anything to worry about at the moment. I have shadows of those bad thoughts but they pass like vague memories. My he...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family))))))), Tomorrow is Valentines Day here in the states. I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day. I love you all dearly and am incredibly greatful for your love, support, strength, encouragement and amazing humor! I have learned many lessons fr...

ddub · ddub

I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...

ddub · ddub

Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...

AlaMom · AlaMom

How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...

bev · bev

when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...

Christy · Christy

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you must. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statem...

tryingtoheal · tryingtoheal

Soon to be ex AH has always had some anger issues, not with us his family but with drivers on the road, store clerks etc...not much patience. I had to stop all contact with him over a month ago for my serenity and am filing for divorce this week. I know he was picked up in a bar a month ago by a police officer, wh...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have had some spiritual awakenings in my recovery, and I wanted to share one of those with you today I learned many many moons ago how to crochet, but life got in the way, and when I married the alcoholic/addict, well, that was a full-time job trying to straighten him out! I never even considered croche...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) Got a myspace web page up and running. Feel free to drop on by and say hi... http://www.myspace.com/onthewayback (you need to have myspace to leave me a comment)... Love Ally Girl

charlotteyorkgoldenblatt · charlotteyorkgoldenblatt

A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Thankyou for your caring replies to my posts. I hope I am not posting too much. I met my A today to talk after being separated for 6 days. We hugged each other and he (and I) sobbed out loud. He doesn't understand why I am doing this and is concerned about how we are going to manage two homes. I wrote him a lon...

ernie · ernie

Can anyone tell me how many of you have had your husband/wife/Sig other find soberity in AA, worked the program and have had stayed together? I see so many in AA who are hooked up with other recovering A's I just wonder whats the norm, what are the chances of "relationship survival" once the a...

Aloha · Aloha

Ugh. I really dislike having to recognize things in me that I thought, somehow, I was "above" or even incapable of being. I finally got my AH to see a counselor. Nooo. NO! Wait - *I* didn't get him to see the counselor. HE made the appointment. It just sucks that I was the one to initially su...

serendipity · serendipity

So, I am again in financial straights. I am seeing the pattern (FINALLY!) and am trying to figure it out. Ok, I am 56 dollars overdrawn in my checking. And that is all I have. NO savings, no IRA or 401K or credit, nothing. I live paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't begin to cover living. It really should s...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I kicked my husband out of the house 10 days ago and every day I feel different. I miss him and I don't. I just feel so weird. I can't decide that I have done the right thing or not, now that I have leveled out. I crack a tooth and needed emergency treatment, guess who I rang when I didn't have enough money? Gues...

Dale · Dale

If anyone is going to the conferance in july, and is looking for someone to split the cost of a room. send me a message. Thanks, Dale

Destynee · Destynee

My 72 day sober AH relapsed. I found beer cans hidden in the garbage (by accident-I dropped my keys in there and was digging them out.) And then I saw the 12 pack box in the outside garbage. I kind of felt he may have been drinking because he came to bed really late the last 2 nights which is unusual. Do I sa...

tma0413 · tma0413

Just a quick update to say Thank you.... Today was the 2nd court date for my AH for his OUIL on a snowmobile. As we drove out there and waited while the lawyer talked to the prosecuter, I was oddly very calm. The day of the arraignment, I was nervous and sick to my stomach all day. Even after his lawyer c...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

As a direct result of the very violent relationship that I experienced as the battered wife of an A, I have found it really difficult to even contemplate a loving relationship that might result in my finding a husband that I can go through the rest of my life with. I saw my marriage as being a union for life...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have s...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, The A got beat up by 5 people in the jail he was originally placed. Not sure what happened, but apparently he broke 4 or 5 bones around his eye socket and it may require reconstructive surgery. His mom paid to have him bonded out of that jail and transferred to another one that has a warrant on him- g...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have noticed that I tend to pile on tasks, jobs, etc. when I am freaking out and feeling overwhelmed instead of simplifying. I can see that this "saying yes" or not being able to say "no" re: work/career stuff right now is my way of burying land mines for myself and sabotaging my s...

concerned123 · concerned123

My AB gave me the best news 3 days ago. He said that he was going to quit drinking because he was tired of it and "tired of feeling like shit every morning". he said this as he was pouring all of his leftover beer down the drain. i was thrilled, but i remained calm and told him that i was proud of h...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I've been doing some "soul searching" tonight. The last year of my life has been one big, ugly, merry-go-round. I have had every emotion know to man and woman, I've felt, jealousy, fear, pain, anger, hate, I've cried buckets over and over again. Rese...

Becky1 · Becky1

Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....

concerned123 · concerned123

I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...

melamom815 · melamom815

Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...

redrelic · redrelic

Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...

Diva · Diva

My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...

Christy · Christy

It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...

maresie · maresie

One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...

jmh137 · jmh137

Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137

ddub · ddub

So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HELP...six months silence and then my daughter takes me to the cleaners again... (Preview) ...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...	Heartbroken	7	722	Feb 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Control (Preview) Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...	Tenderheartsks	1	413	Feb 15, 2008 by babysteps
	happ v day to all (Preview) i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...	bev	4	465	Feb 15, 2008 by bev
	Valentines Shmalentines (Preview) I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...	Loupiness	5	695	Feb 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Nasty response (Preview) He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...	Jean4444	8	736	Feb 15, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	So, my situation is NOT unique?!? (Preview) I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...	serendipity	7	773	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Is a Bowl of Ramen Noodles my HP (Preview) Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...	Becky1	17	836	Feb 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Avoiding-Can I continue (Preview) Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...	Codependent	5	659	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Nature and Nurture? (Preview) I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...	Katy	0	850	Feb 15, 2008 by Katy
	Sad and scary (Preview) It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...	Aloha	5	464	Feb 15, 2008 by Aloha
	Bear of little brain...UPDATE (Preview) Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...	Heartbroken	8	651	Feb 14, 2008 by Jen
	A Mother (Preview) Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...	Codependent	5	461	Feb 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	Letting Go Of Those Not In Recovery (Preview) We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...	Tenderheartsks	4	1385	Feb 14, 2008 by Codependent
	THINK (Preview) Well, I was going back over the last week in "Hope for Today" and February 5's reading made me Think about thinking, and assess my ability to think positively. It says: ...this slogan is intended to help me Think before I act, making sure my actions are well thought out, not impulsive, com...	Heartbroken	5	413	Feb 14, 2008 by Codependent
	A dozen roses and a box of chocolates... (Preview) Ya, don't I wish LOL!!! I have been out sick with strep throat since the 8th. I have a ton of time making up to do to get out of the hole! I am just glad to have almost all of my health back again today! Still not quite right but I sure am greatful for what I do have! Some well wishes would be appreciated in rea...	carolinagirl	4	562	Feb 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	like a dream (Preview) I just wrote a long post and deleted. My life continues with huge family problems involving semi-sober son, his EX, our grandbaby/custody/visitation, sick husband, more surgeries coming for him, etc., very ill mother and failing father 1,000 miles from me, and me trying to cope with the cancer anx...	omajoy	8	852	Feb 14, 2008 by round3
	MAKING THE WRONG CHOICES (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) I've done it again. Became emotional involved with a guy. I allowed my feelings for him to get in the way of my "Inner Happiness", and as usual,I allowed him to make me happy. I done the oppisite of what I usually do, I ended the relationship with him. WHY?...	ally	6	636	Feb 14, 2008 by Mandy123
	Had one heck of a time returning here! LOL (Preview) OK... I have been away for a while. Computer crashed, lost my "favorites" file, blah! blah! blah! Anyway, have been trying & trying to login, but was unable to find my sign-in name. So, I paged through and through and through all of the posts here, looking for what may be my sign-in...	ESH	3	620	Feb 14, 2008 by Mandy123
	KIMMY...AND ?????????? (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) It never worked on myspace. You never added...lol PLEASE TRY AGAIN... love Ally Girl	ally	1	399	Feb 14, 2008 by kismetstrand
	Baby, Baby...Where Did Our Love Go? (Preview) Hubby has been pestering me to death to talk, after almost 3 years of not. I don't know how to act, how to handle this revelation. Truth is, I am confused, scared, etc. I left him a 2 page scribbled note on the kitchen table on the way to work yesterday morning. Told him I was confused. How I felt shut dow...	Becky1	2	599	Feb 14, 2008 by hersh
	Never underestimate the truth of cheesy sayings (Preview) There's an ancient saying "To you, you may be one person in the world, but to one person, you may be the world." Or something like that. Wow, am I seeing that come true. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I felt like my world was caving in, and I was done. I was going to put in the paperwork t...	Tiger2006	5	2127	Feb 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	What do you say to everyone? (Preview) Well, he left three years ago. Says he wants a divorce but never has filed. I see him now and then for taxes and talk about our kids. It is obvious that he has checked out of this relationships even way before he actually left. He has been sober for over 20 years. People ask questions. I never know what to say...	nmike	11	750	Feb 14, 2008 by Jen
	The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of co...	optimistundone	4	395	Feb 14, 2008 by serendipity
	Moving on with Me! (Preview) Hello alanon friends! As another day comes and goes without my AH living in the home anymore, I am slowly but surely relaxing and feeling happy for longer than ever before. I can't think of anything to worry about at the moment. I have shadows of those bad thoughts but they pass like vague memories. My he...	silverbrumby	2	539	Feb 14, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Happy Valentine's Day! (Preview) ((((((((((Family))))))), Tomorrow is Valentines Day here in the states. I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day. I love you all dearly and am incredibly greatful for your love, support, strength, encouragement and amazing humor! I have learned many lessons fr...	Karilynn	5	558	Feb 14, 2008 by nmike
	stuck between the dream & the reality (Preview) I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...	ddub	2	683	Feb 14, 2008 by nmike
	I thought it was my fault (Preview) Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...	debilyn	10	847	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	extended family (Preview) Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...	ddub	5	541	Feb 13, 2008 by Loupiness
	Anniversary... (Preview) How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....	AlaMom	7	646	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	Please would you say a prayer... (Preview) ...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...	Heartbroken	8	658	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	talked to SAH (Preview) when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...	bev	3	522	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	Great Ideas (Preview) 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you must. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statem...	Christy	6	386	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	in need of wisdom (Preview) Soon to be ex AH has always had some anger issues, not with us his family but with drivers on the road, store clerks etc...not much patience. I had to stop all contact with him over a month ago for my serenity and am filing for divorce this week. I know he was picked up in a bar a month ago by a police officer, wh...	tryingtoheal	4	541	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	An analogy-beauty and imperfection (Preview) I have had some spiritual awakenings in my recovery, and I wanted to share one of those with you today I learned many many moons ago how to crochet, but life got in the way, and when I married the alcoholic/addict, well, that was a full-time job trying to straighten him out! I never even considered croche...	Tenderheartsks	5	721	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	MYSPACE..come say hi.. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) Got a myspace web page up and running. Feel free to drop on by and say hi... http://www.myspace.com/onthewayback (you need to have myspace to leave me a comment)... Love Ally Girl	ally	0	473	Feb 13, 2008 by ally
	Jeckyll and Hyde (Preview) A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...	charlotteyorkgoldenblatt	16	659	Feb 13, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	He doesn't understand???Why??? (Preview) Thankyou for your caring replies to my posts. I hope I am not posting too much. I met my A today to talk after being separated for 6 days. We hugged each other and he (and I) sobbed out loud. He doesn't understand why I am doing this and is concerned about how we are going to manage two homes. I wrote him a lon...	silverbrumby	7	584	Feb 13, 2008 by Jen
	Question/Poll (Preview) Can anyone tell me how many of you have had your husband/wife/Sig other find soberity in AA, worked the program and have had stayed together? I see so many in AA who are hooked up with other recovering A's I just wonder whats the norm, what are the chances of "relationship survival" once the a...	ernie	10	821	Feb 13, 2008 by Jen
	"Co-dependent"? Noooo!! (Preview) Ugh. I really dislike having to recognize things in me that I thought, somehow, I was "above" or even incapable of being. I finally got my AH to see a counselor. Nooo. NO! Wait - I didn't get him to see the counselor. HE made the appointment. It just sucks that I was the one to initially su...	Aloha	10	755	Feb 13, 2008 by Aloha
	graditude...lots of it! (long) (Preview) So, I am again in financial straights. I am seeing the pattern (FINALLY!) and am trying to figure it out. Ok, I am 56 dollars overdrawn in my checking. And that is all I have. NO savings, no IRA or 401K or credit, nothing. I live paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't begin to cover living. It really should s...	serendipity	5	677	Feb 13, 2008 by cookie1971
	Reality bites (Preview) I kicked my husband out of the house 10 days ago and every day I feel different. I miss him and I don't. I just feel so weird. I can't decide that I have done the right thing or not, now that I have leveled out. I crack a tooth and needed emergency treatment, guess who I rang when I didn't have enough money? Gues...	silverbrumby	10	754	Feb 12, 2008 by round3
	International conferance (Preview) If anyone is going to the conferance in july, and is looking for someone to split the cost of a room. send me a message. Thanks, Dale	Dale	5	384	Feb 12, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Sober AH relapsed-what do I do? (Preview) My 72 day sober AH relapsed. I found beer cans hidden in the garbage (by accident-I dropped my keys in there and was digging them out.) And then I saw the 12 pack box in the outside garbage. I kind of felt he may have been drinking because he came to bed really late the last 2 nights which is unusual. Do I sa...	Destynee	5	724	Feb 12, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Thank you!! (Preview) Just a quick update to say Thank you.... Today was the 2nd court date for my AH for his OUIL on a snowmobile. As we drove out there and waited while the lawyer talked to the prosecuter, I was oddly very calm. The day of the arraignment, I was nervous and sick to my stomach all day. Even after his lawyer c...	tma0413	0	350	Feb 12, 2008 by tma0413
	FEAR of never sharing love again... (Preview) As a direct result of the very violent relationship that I experienced as the battered wife of an A, I have found it really difficult to even contemplate a loving relationship that might result in my finding a husband that I can go through the rest of my life with. I saw my marriage as being a union for life...	Heartbroken	3	673	Feb 12, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Understanding reality (Preview) I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have s...	Tiger2006	1	486	Feb 12, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Beat up in Jail (Preview) Well, The A got beat up by 5 people in the jail he was originally placed. Not sure what happened, but apparently he broke 4 or 5 bones around his eye socket and it may require reconstructive surgery. His mom paid to have him bonded out of that jail and transferred to another one that has a warrant on him- g...	Codependent	10	764	Feb 12, 2008 by Codependent
	Too many plates in the air = anxiety (the opposite of serenity?) (Preview) I have noticed that I tend to pile on tasks, jobs, etc. when I am freaking out and feeling overwhelmed instead of simplifying. I can see that this "saying yes" or not being able to say "no" re: work/career stuff right now is my way of burying land mines for myself and sabotaging my s...	Jean4444	6	683	Feb 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Should I nag or support? Should I be angry or undertanding? (Preview) My AB gave me the best news 3 days ago. He said that he was going to quit drinking because he was tired of it and "tired of feeling like shit every morning". he said this as he was pouring all of his leftover beer down the drain. i was thrilled, but i remained calm and told him that i was proud of h...	concerned123	6	633	Feb 12, 2008 by Karilynn
	WHEN OUR ACTIONS HIDE OUR TRUE FEELINGS.. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I've been doing some "soul searching" tonight. The last year of my life has been one big, ugly, merry-go-round. I have had every emotion know to man and woman, I've felt, jealousy, fear, pain, anger, hate, I've cried buckets over and over again. Rese...	ally	5	809	Feb 11, 2008 by maresie
	Here We Go Again (Preview) Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....	Becky1	4	611	Feb 11, 2008 by maresie
	Does it ever work out? (Preview) I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...	concerned123	8	734	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Been a long time!!! (Preview) Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...	melamom815	3	595	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Told him sobriety is only way for us....? (Preview) Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...	silverbrumby	3	676	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	I'm New, and Feeling Raw (Preview) Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...	redrelic	10	667	Feb 11, 2008 by CoDependant
	That old devil suspicion (Preview) My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...	Diva	17	874	Feb 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	Some Grandson Humor (Preview) It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...	Christy	13	747	Feb 11, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	sad news (Preview) One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...	maresie	12	733	Feb 11, 2008 by carosie
	Just joined to relate (Preview) Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137	jmh137	22	917	Feb 11, 2008 by jmh137
	avoidance of reality (Preview) So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....	ddub	2	574	Feb 10, 2008 by round3
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.