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i went to his work at lunch time and told him about my daughter and that i want to go to ny in case something happens to the baby,he in return tells me to wait until she is born then go up,i told him i want to be up there in case it does happen that she doesnt make it,his words{WAIT TO SEE AFTER MY DAUGHTER HAS THE BABY}he said my daughter is a grown woman{20}this is her 3rd baby and she can manage without you.go up to ny after the baby is born and see how she is then so that means no..i hate this i feel like a kid asking her dad if i can go away with friends for a few days.when i pick him at work in a bit im just going to tell him im going and that is that{if i dont chicken out first}im the type of person that has to make everyone happy in the mean time im making my self stressed
We do not need to ask permission of anyone to do what our hearts desire. And this is not some kind of shopping spree, this is a medical emergency. SO MANY MOM'S go and help out when a baby is born- my god, almost everyone I know does this!!
I would not even bother to discuss it further. You are an adult and you can do whatever you need to do. Inform him, then go. No discussion. Hugs, J.
PS: My AH would do the exact same thing given the situation. its spelled N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T.
Not unlike your daughter, you are a grown woman and you have the right as such to make your own decisions. He does not have the right to tell you what you can or can't do. He is not a baby, he can take care of himself, he is not your problem.
Your daughter needs you right now far more than he does. Do not let him make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself and doing what you want to do. Your happiness is your number one priority, not his happiness because no matter what you do he is not going to be happy. This is not your issue, but his.
The A and I lived in a constant sea of chaos. I think his not being able to discuss this with you is par for the course. I lived, ate breathed chaos. I can only tell you that it had a tremendous toll on my health. I would only suggest you do all you can to protect yourself.
