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Getting Out Of The CoDependent Funk
(Preview)
Thank God I found Al Anon And MIP. In thetime since my Al Anon enlightenment I have learned so very much about dealing with A but most importantly, I've learned that I too have issues that need to be dealt with. Today my challenge is dealing with the codependent funk. As I examine my life over the past tw...
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Spur
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8
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582
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Al Anon Principles For The Masses
(Preview)
Question: Are the ideals of the Al Anon program in book form for the general population, but not specifically for recovery? I wish the program was available in a general life skills format so more people would use it, think about their relationships with themselves, family, friends, teachers, em...
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Spur
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6
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2121
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Today's drama.
(Preview)
Today someone from the Youth Mental Health Service called me. I didn't have my phone with me. I always have my phone with me and it always charged. Today I didn't for 1.5 hours only and missed this important call. So a person left me a voice mail asking to call back because we need to discuss my daughter's a...
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Luiza
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15
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634
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feeling mixed up and need help
(Preview)
Ok I don't do well with too much going on.That is how I am It's why I live out here in the country and only go to town maybe 3-4 times a month. I am making a place for tenants to put there fifth wheel and live. excavaction. then rock. So I pay for the renting tractor and the neighbor who is doing it. Then I pay for t...
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Debilyn
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16
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644
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dating a woman in recovery, really need some insight
(Preview)
hello to all, i have been dating a woman who is coming up on her three year celebration. in trying to understand better what she is going through and how my interactions with her might be good or bad i have been attending aa and alanon meetings, reading books and researching the internet. of course i have...
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onewildworld
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14
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728
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Feeling numb. Need to snap out of this
(Preview)
it feels like everything is caving in on me. I feel really sad and needy. Yesterday I had the urge to just go see AH and get a big hug...I just feel lonely and needy. I wish I could feel stronger. I guess I need to just sit and stew about it. I know I am playing a broken record, and you are all probably sick and tir...
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Newlife girl
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17
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617
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taking it personally
(Preview)
I know my partner loves me. We have had some sobriety and got engaged. He slipped 3 months ago and the disease has progressed quickly. He has lost his job, me , friends and is mixing with some really unhealthy people. He does not contact me or any of his friends in recovery, In my head I know it is the dis...
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Tracy
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5
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490
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Better again
(Preview)
Seems like I have on average one day a week where everything is suddenly terrible and too sad for words, it comes out of nowhere and I cry and moan and then its done and i'm better. I need to find some way to release this stuff that is less harmful to me, I'm open to suggestions. Its happening too often to be a o...
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missmeliss
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9
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493
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"S" and Janet
(Preview)
First i want to thank all of you for the comforting hug and offerings of wisdom with this death of my BFF's sister who was also very special to me.......posting here and getting out of myself to share on another, offering my best within me to others, helped me stay level on my own growing anxiety, not hear...
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neshema2
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5
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495
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examples of hp
(Preview)
many times in this life,my hp has pulled strings. They weren't always what I thought I wanted,but they were wonderful nonetheless. As a child,we moved alot.I craved my own home.as an adult,I've never had to worry about a roof over my head. One night,when my life was a living hell,I allowed myself to im...
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aquamom23
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7
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396
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New here, but same old problems..
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! I just want to say thank you in advance for anyone who takes the time to read my post/reply. I've never done anything like this before so I don't really know where to start. My therapist suggested to me that she thinks al-anon meetings would help me, but I have a very busy schedule and I think a...
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nybeachgirl
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4
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2815
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My HP at work
(Preview)
hi all, I'm conscious that I don't just want to post when struggling or in dispair because I know I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But tonight I find myself at home why AH has gone for a spontaneous "drink after work". He's been better if late, but I can now read the signs about him bec...
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Tash2
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3
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319
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needing immediate advice
(Preview)
Don't know how to handle my anger, frustration & disappointment that my husband is using again. He is a recovering alcoholic, with about 6 years sober. I gave a drug & alcohol test this afternoon. Came up negative on drinking test but came up positive on the urine sample for THC. I believe he ha...
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jasmine r c
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6
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581
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Relapsed
(Preview)
I've relapsed and it don't take much for me to go off into a mad frenzy i e ended up haveing his guts,then somehow there must be a tiny light there somewhere that keeps letting him back into my life I've been around him only 2days and it's been a exploding argument .wheres my alanon tools at.? I don't deserv...
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lookingup
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5
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389
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Newlife girl
(Preview)
couldn't do this in pm hope it is ok here. Here are brother and sister Maddie and Saber. Ex cons, brokem out a few months ago!
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Debilyn
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5
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241
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What might happen if...
(Preview)
We started saying that thousands of people with the disease of alcoholism are able to live happy, sober lives each year with help? Every time I read that only a small percentage of alcoholics are able to get and stay sober, I find myself wondering if those reading our posts - alcoholics and codependen...
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grateful2be
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18
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642
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prayer
(Preview)
When I pray which isn't often enough, I feel a sense of peace. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer. It just has to mean something. Like the serenity prayer or please help me. Or God I can't do this alone. Thank you for being patient w/ me. I really started to pray more when I was ready for the 11th step. "...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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414
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He gone for passports now.
(Preview)
So after the kitchen stuff, pictures and paintings, some furniture and even kitchen salt, STBX now took daughter's passports.. I opened the drawer were I keep important documents and my passports are there and daughter's aren't. I called the non emergency police number and they advised me to go to a...
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Luiza
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17
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555
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Newbie
(Preview)
So this al-anon thing is pretty new to me, however, my mothers drinking is not. She has been drinking heavily for 12 years or so that I can remember, although recently I have been made aware that she was drinking when I was a child. She had cancer a few years ago and been advised to give up caffeine and alcoh...
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Lemissa
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4
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454
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sad face.
(Preview)
I have a friend living near my mum, we were best friends in high school and have stayed in touch on facebook, always making plans to see each other, but it's so far so it never happens. So I was thinking to myself today, you know what, that is a big silver lining. When I am there, I can go see my friend, that wil...
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missmeliss
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21
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655
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Why do people in Alanon say relapse is a part of recovery.
(Preview)
I have 6 years sober. Never relapsed since starting to go to AA. Most of my peers in AA with any length of sobriety state relapse is not an option for them either. I can understand that in alanon, it helps to keep expectations of the alcoholic low, BUT if one of my sponsees in AA relapsed and tried to tell me i...
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pinkchip
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19
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1076
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grief and helplessness
(Preview)
My husband has been through rehab twice. We married a year later. He has not continued with therapy or AA, despite his assurances to the contrary. It has been a struggle this past year. He has developed an affinity with pot, honestly just at night due to sleep, which was a precipitating factor for hi...
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BE0906
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9
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642
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I'm hurt I'm pissed I'm lost because I will NOT make it right
(Preview)
I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he...
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Cathyinaz
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18
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722
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Controlling him by not drinking myself
(Preview)
Prior to learning the precious wisdom of AlAnon, my AH had a very very bad drinking "event" shall we say, and myself and his father were present and an agreement was made that if AH stopped drinking we would too, to support AH. I NOW KNOW this was wrong, and it was an attempt to control and mana...
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gingerfizz
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12
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505
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So it starts ..
(Preview)
To say I have had a lot going on this weekend is an understatement .. LOL .. it's all good, I slapped a band aide on it and hopefully I can set it to heal sooner than later. I will really have to watch myself and figure out my own discipline of works and doesn't .. I'm definitely a toddler when it comes to being...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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500
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Thrown for a loop
(Preview)
Just as I feel I am making progress towards a new life, I get smacked with a rock in the road. This one is a boulder. My AH and I have lived apart for over 14 months. Up until now, my mind has been pretty clear on my path. My HP has been great at keeping me on track. I began the divorce process last month but,...
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Tossed Salad
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13
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656
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I'm new here
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, Im happy to meet you all! I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem. My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming pr...
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Jupiter
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6
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558
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odaat
(Preview)
Baffling and cunning. Since putting my recovery to the fore,I've noticed a lot of guilt mists the edges of me. I feel guilty about releasing responsibility even when carryin all of it alone fails.there have been two topics that, leap out well actually three. Fear,isolating and playing martyr.havi...
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aquamom23
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3
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268
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Pinging Cathy
(Preview)
Hey sugar muffin, hows the foot doing???? Hope it is healing nicely.....sending healing hugs.........
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neshema2
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14
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324
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UPDATE on the "for old times sake post" Now I know
(Preview)
Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking HIS EMAIL TO MEHIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at wor...
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neshema2
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14
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412
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uncertain
(Preview)
I have been feeling so lost lately. I have a BF that I have been with for the past 6 months and he drinks. He was sober for a month but has been on a drunk again for 3 days now. I thank god I have an apartment to go to. I tried to live with him, but it has not worked out. Now I have most of my belongings at his home and I h...
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joker
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4
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390
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a me share/ pictures
(Preview)
Lotsa thoughts, goals, tenseness. I put an ad on CL for a pet bovine. I pictured an old dairy cow. This gal answers my ad. My dream is a Jersey mini Steer. She offers me a Jersey mini steer, seven mo. old. A friend wants to get it for me. My life has been blessed that all my dreams have been realized....
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Debilyn
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9
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1246
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Dreams...? How to interpret it?
(Preview)
I sometimes get freaked out by dreams. The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I...
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Luiza
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13
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514
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nearly had a heart attack
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1 2
)
(Preview)
Sorry to bring this here but I need help. I just saw a mouse. Seriously, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was lying on my bed and I saw something fast out of the corner of my eyes. Then there it was bold as brass just looking at me. I started screaming. Seriously, how am I going to go on with my life? Im not enteri...
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el-cee
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65
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1105
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No such thing as patterns?
(Preview)
Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...
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Tash2
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6
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653
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HUGE relapse tonight.
(Preview)
Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...
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Meehan512
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8
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512
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New here....where to start?
(Preview)
Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...
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BS4MR
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8
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369
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I think my old mate has isolated
(Preview)
I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...
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neshema2
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5
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479
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grateful challenge SUNDAY
(Preview)
Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...
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neshema2
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0
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210
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Choices.
(Preview)
I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...
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missmeliss
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14
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767
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Making progress...I think!
(Preview)
AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...
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Fairlee
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8
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463
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it is okay to be me.
(Preview)
I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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373
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"For old times sake" just does not work anymore
(Preview)
Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...
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neshema2
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13
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491
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Trying to let go/let god
(Preview)
Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...
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Mirandac
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5
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458
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I messed up .. UGH ..
(Preview)
Apparently I like big messes in my life .. for once I don't want to get into detail .. just please say some prayers for the kids and I .. it's all going to be ok .. I just am not sure how it's all going to turn out and it's not good .. I'm not going to minimize it .. it is what it is and I will have to face the consequenc...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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572
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new
(Preview)
My divorce is going to happen my exAH is paying for it. He wants to marry the 24 yr old at our church back home...lol I wished him the best of luck and told him I hope he has a nice life. Their isn't much I can or want to say. I have adjusted well to my new town and job :) I have been dating this one man for a couple of w...
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texasgal
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9
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367
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Something I wanted to share
(Preview)
is this beautiful or what??? when i doubt there may be a HP or universal power most high, and i see something like this...... may HP of each person's understanding bless and nurture and protect this group and all its brothers and sisters from any enemies that hold us back from releasing and enjoying th...
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neshema2
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10
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2328
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Job Choices
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1 2
)
(Preview)
Not sure how related this is to Alanon but - probably one of the biggest amends I made to myself when getting sober was obtaining my professional license that allowed me to get better jobs with higher pay. Since being licensed, I have literally worked at 4 different places. I have been licensed since...
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pinkchip
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52
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1279
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slogan THINK
(Preview)
the topic in our meeting last night was think. I can tend to over think obsess. Yet sometimes I react rather than THINK and respond. My mind is a dangerous place to go alone. ( better to ring an al anon friend and reason something out). before al anon my thinking was stinking it still can today but my al anon...
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Tracy
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5
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350
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She's Pretending She Cares about Me
(Preview)
OK so it's the first day back at work since giving my resignation. I just want to keep my serenity, get through the next two weeks and just get out. I'm just trying to mind my own business until I go. So this woman who is the head of the department I'm assigned to comes to my desk. She got in my face for no real...
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tiredtonite
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16
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755
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Home
(Preview)
Home from the hospital....it went really well. Have my big boot beside the bed.....and now I'm going to sleep a little. See ya later ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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15
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312
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A friend passed
(Preview)
one of my two BFF's since girlhood had a sister whom i really really liked....when the abuse from older brother (whom I dissociated from) got real bad with his getting drunk and kicking in my little apartment door, and I couldn't stay w/ "S", my buddy, her big sister, Janet, always took me i...
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neshema2
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10
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384
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The Envy Of Happy People
(Preview)
How do you work through this issue; the constant envy of people who are happy? I see couples my age or older, happily married and enjoying each other's company. The Facebook posts about how their spouse is their best friend and they couldn't imagine life without them. And I sit here completely alon...
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Spur
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28
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1093
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Quick question
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1 2
)
(Preview)
I am ready to file for divorce! I am so DONE! I'm not going to rehash the past so I'm just going to say this has been my prayer this week, "God, I am done. I cannot continue to live like this anymore. If you have different plans for me, please show me a sign, speak to me, and tell me otherwise. But, fo...
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andromeda
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43
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870
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Need to talk to someone.
(Preview)
Hi. I have been reading here everyday but not participating much, just concentrating really hard on myself now that STBX is preparing to leave. We have 15 more days to go and it seems ages! Times always fly but since he decided to move and (I) found accommodation for him, the time seems to be passing slow...
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Luiza
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8
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542
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Feeling scared about leaving kids with the AH
(Preview)
UGH--I come back to this fear again and again. my (separated) AH is on probation...he claims he has been sober for about 10 months and I finally finally finally let my kids go to his apartment (after 3 years of not letting them go there....) I am so paranoid...he seemed a LITTLE off today--mannerisms an...
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sookie
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18
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513
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detachment and NON engaging
(Preview)
hey all this am I go to the "lion's den" and i am smiling, "good mornings" and i am holding my tendonitis arm and wife asks me "you hurt your arm???" I says, "yea, my grandson thinks i am a tree and i pick him up wrong and i pulled a tendon in my arm" (not lying...
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neshema2
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3
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307
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Hellooo
(Preview)
I'm at school today. I managed to negotiate an extra week now, by saying that I cant get the place emptied or cleaned unless I have a little extra time. So now I have to pay for it but it has eased the pressure a bit. So today I decided to come to class even though I have missed 2 weeks and haven't submitted any a...
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missmeliss
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10
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537
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HALT- Using my Al-Anon Toolbox
(Preview)
For some unknown reason, yesterday I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me and following me throughout the day. It was just one of those days where I just had the blues, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so down. When I got home from a long day at work, I started thinking about what might be causi...
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Green Eyes
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8
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843
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Returning to a classroom
(Preview)
More than a year ago, I posted a thread on a horrible experience I had had with an oral surgeon and the need to return to my dentist for more painful work on a molar the surgeon had broken while I was under and discovered later at home when the Novocain and sedatives wore off and I removed the gauze from my mou...
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grateful2be
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9
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477
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