Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

neshema2 · neshema2

For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together...

Jen61 · Jen61

I work a part time job. When got home last night I could tell something was up. I did not say anything to him, because really what is the point. I found Vodka today and I was not even looking for it. I felt sick to my stomach. I know we have all felt this and even after all of these years it is still there. ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Merry Christmas Everyone..... I made enough for 12 people but it's the only way for leftovers LOL

PP · PP

My 85 year old mom has some challenges with blood clotting. Tonight, before we ate our Christmas Eve dinner, our son's dog was cleaning up a scrap on the floor, my mom went to pick it up and he bit her arm. He is a gentle dog, so this surprised us. My mom bled in 4 places for some time. I applied pressure an...

el-cee · el-cee

So, ive got the whole family and partners coming tomorrow. Both son, with problem and daughter without problem, want to bring alcohol. I said i would think about it. They are both bringing there partners and part of me wants to play at being normal,people unaffected people and we can all sit with a glas...

glad · glad

Merry Christmas to all! I feel so blessed. Yesterday Christmas Eve the new man in my life and I finished up some last minute shopping together, ran around with my daughter and son in law and 3.5 year old Grandson while Grandson went to sit on Santa's lap and saw some Christmas sites where we took happy...

mjferg · mjferg

Well yesterday I was feeling pretty down.It is Christmas eve, and I took my daughter to work, I started feeling that scary lonely feeling creeping on me and I decided to go into the kitchen and see if I could find something to cook a nice Christmas eve dinner.After scouring the pantry and freezer I hav...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ah Christmas morning. Here is my Christmas Breakfast. It had better get me through the rest of the day because that's all the cooking I am doing! Yesterday I told mother I wouldn't be coming and she said, she can't have daughter overnight as she is leaving to go away early in the morning. I said no problem...

Ashley C · Ashley C

Hi everyone. I'm a new member of Al-Anon and so grateful that I found the program! Today I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years, an untreated Alcoholic has been cheating on me. According to him it was only twice and both times he was completely wasted, but it was the same person both times so clearly h...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Sometimes I see alcoholism as a physical being, someone or something that I can confront. I imagine this disease as a dark twisted being that is the personification of pain and agony. While having this imagine in my mind, I wrote a letter to this disease. In my letter I poured out all of my feelings for...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been affected by alcoholism and the symptoms that grew within me stopped me living life. Life was drudgery, drama,chaos and waiting for the next round. My teen years, my twenties and most of my thirties, gone now and I lived those years in darkness. Now I have a taste of life since becoming a membe...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My sponsor is more into tough love than gentle caring love which is what i feel i need at this time. In the process of grieving and mourning my marriage many truths come out to face and process. i need to make decisions that are best for me. i have surrounded myself with supportive caring friends. i am not...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I just wrote on Mel's post about Christmas Day and I thought what is that all about. I could do something for myself. SO I'm going to the store tonight after work and buy all the fixin's to make Christmas Dinner. I'm going to cook my heart out and enjoy the best meal I can put together. Foo...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Picked up a copy of the Alanon pamphlet called "Boundaries". the 2nd bullet says: - Not to allow ourselves to be used it abuses by others in the interest of another's recovery. What does this mean to you? When I was in AA I was used badly by my sponsor. We are now both in Alanon. A few weeks ago I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well if A was still A, the disease did not kill the one I knew. Things would be different. I realized I cannot take on one single thing more. The dogs won't work. they are too set and bonded to their people. One is escaping, the other is whining and sad. so the people are going to find a dog friendly home, and j...

PJJ108 · PJJ108

My family has scattered after our qualifier died 3 years ago. When our father died, the four of us came together to grieve for two weeks. Now sisters are isolated and one sister, refuses to speak to me or my siblings. As the oldest sister, with sister 8 and 10 years younger I find it challenging today to...

neshema2 · neshema2

hey gang... on vaca till the 2nd of Jan. Friday i got off work and I am thinking "ok, self, we are ON OUR OWN for 13 or so days what R we gonna do???? Saturday was the 1/2 Goodwill "bonanza" sale and i had a ball...books, REAL leather dress coats/jackets for like $8 just awesome goodies....

missmeliss · missmeliss

For the past few years, our Christmas routine has been, daughter is with her father in the days leading up to Christmas. She stays with him Christmas eve and spends Christmas morning with him and then she is delivered to my grandmother's house at lunch-time where I am waiting. We have lunch then journe...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I don't know about you, but I get tired of listening to health experts, behavior experts, drug companies and the like as they broadcast through the media and at private parties the way each of us can improve ourselves. Of course, there are always ads for gyms, exercise equipment, fat burners, rehabs...

Hailey44 · Hailey44

I have been married for 25 years to a man who is everything I could ask for in a partner...except when he has been drinking. I have not learned to walk away or set boundaries - if I walk away during a drunken "rant" he follows me through the house yelling at me, if I leave the house I have nowhere t...

CelinaR · CelinaR

My AH has been in recovery since April. He was in a 4 week program and has lived in a faith-based sober house since then. After all that we went through leading to our separation and him going into treatment, it was doubtful that we would get back together. I certainly didn't have much hope. My parent...

bud · bud

When the disease is fed an audience, it will want more. On some days reality and sanity don't play well together. Yesterday was like that for me. I visited my parents in the nursing home. I was approached by my Mom's nurse who said that my sister spent several hours with the nursing home clergy sobbin...

ohno · ohno

i am really p.o.'d that i have to deal with this b.s. at this point in my life. i can understand why i have an alcoholic daughter . . . i see the karma . . . with my grandson, it didn't matter that i had sent his mom to alateen and had stepped in to help raise him. every single thing i did for him was to assist him and...

mjferg · mjferg

I have tried to be joyful,I used to adore Christmas,this year is so different.I ended my relationship so a lot of things are new.I always cooked and baked cookies.I used to have a special party for my grandchildren with special gifts and handmade items,treat bags,luscious foods.This year the money...

milkwood · milkwood

I made a comment to AH while we were having tea in bed this morning. I said 'I think that our tenant is probably not going to renew their lease in March.' (We have a flat that we rent out). AH said 'I'm not going to worry about it,' and then proceeded to talk about it in his monopolising voice. It was not a co...

drywit44 · drywit44

Thanks for everyone's help in advance. The short question is what does forgiveness look like in a healthy relationship as opposed to a dysfunctional one? I'm a civilian married to a wonderful woman with 29 years with Al-Anon. I come from a deeply religious background (raised Evangelical, now Epi...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello MIP family: I have been here reading and learning but not posting much. There's something happening with me and I want to get it out there with you who will understand. As many of you know, I left a long marriage about a year and a half ago. A few months before my decision to leave, I asked a good fri...

ohno · ohno

Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...

joker · joker

I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...

Athena1976 · Athena1976

I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...

1stLoveLastLove · 1stLoveLastLove

In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...

robinfl · robinfl

I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...

Truth · Truth

I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...

son74 · son74

Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...

Holly111 · Holly111

Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...

Debilyn · Debilyn

sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM

Inundated · Inundated

I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...

Lucers73 · Lucers73

not sure how this works, so I'm trying

My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...

sookie · sookie

Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...

MaxGleam · MaxGleam

I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...

joker · joker

I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...

Sapphronia · Sapphronia

Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...

NEP · NEP

I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.

ohno · ohno

I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...

John · John

Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...

ohno · ohno

Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...

ymvv2000 · ymvv2000

A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	and heaven doesn't have facebook (Preview) For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together...	neshema2	7	760	Dec 25, 2014 by grateful2be
	Merry Christmas and Vodka (Preview) I work a part time job. When got home last night I could tell something was up. I did not say anything to him, because really what is the point. I found Vodka today and I was not even looking for it. I felt sick to my stomach. I know we have all felt this and even after all of these years it is still there. ...	Jen61	3	444	Dec 25, 2014 by PP
	Dinner (((( Melly )))) (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone..... I made enough for 12 people but it's the only way for leftovers LOL	Cathyinaz	4	336	Dec 25, 2014 by missmeliss
	A sad night for me (Preview) My 85 year old mom has some challenges with blood clotting. Tonight, before we ate our Christmas Eve dinner, our son's dog was cleaning up a scrap on the floor, my mom went to pick it up and he bit her arm. He is a gentle dog, so this surprised us. My mom bled in 4 places for some time. I applied pressure an...	PP	26	514	Dec 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	to allow drink or not allow drink (Preview) So, ive got the whole family and partners coming tomorrow. Both son, with problem and daughter without problem, want to bring alcohol. I said i would think about it. They are both bringing there partners and part of me wants to play at being normal,people unaffected people and we can all sit with a glas...	el-cee	13	758	Dec 25, 2014 by lgnutah
	My Christmas wish for you is Peace and Joy! (Preview) Merry Christmas to all! I feel so blessed. Yesterday Christmas Eve the new man in my life and I finished up some last minute shopping together, ran around with my daughter and son in law and 3.5 year old Grandson while Grandson went to sit on Santa's lap and saw some Christmas sites where we took happy...	glad	3	555	Dec 25, 2014 by PP
	5 loaves and 2 fish (Preview) Well yesterday I was feeling pretty down.It is Christmas eve, and I took my daughter to work, I started feeling that scary lonely feeling creeping on me and I decided to go into the kitchen and see if I could find something to cook a nice Christmas eve dinner.After scouring the pantry and freezer I hav...	mjferg	10	595	Dec 25, 2014 by bud
	Ho ho ho (Preview) Ah Christmas morning. Here is my Christmas Breakfast. It had better get me through the rest of the day because that's all the cooking I am doing! Yesterday I told mother I wouldn't be coming and she said, she can't have daughter overnight as she is leaving to go away early in the morning. I said no problem...	missmeliss	7	540	Dec 25, 2014 by el-cee
	How to handle cheating (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a new member of Al-Anon and so grateful that I found the program! Today I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years, an untreated Alcoholic has been cheating on me. According to him it was only twice and both times he was completely wasted, but it was the same person both times so clearly h...	Ashley C	11	1294	Dec 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Therapy for dealing with alcoholism (Preview) Sometimes I see alcoholism as a physical being, someone or something that I can confront. I imagine this disease as a dark twisted being that is the personification of pain and agony. While having this imagine in my mind, I wrote a letter to this disease. In my letter I poured out all of my feelings for...	cloudyskies	5	564	Dec 25, 2014 by neshema2
	Living life (Preview) I have been affected by alcoholism and the symptoms that grew within me stopped me living life. Life was drudgery, drama,chaos and waiting for the next round. My teen years, my twenties and most of my thirties, gone now and I lived those years in darkness. Now I have a taste of life since becoming a membe...	el-cee	8	473	Dec 25, 2014 by bud
	Sponsor Tough vs gentle love (Preview) My sponsor is more into tough love than gentle caring love which is what i feel i need at this time. In the process of grieving and mourning my marriage many truths come out to face and process. i need to make decisions that are best for me. i have surrounded myself with supportive caring friends. i am not...	Mirandac	25	1023	Dec 24, 2014 by Mirandac
	Christmas (Preview) Hi Everyone I just wrote on Mel's post about Christmas Day and I thought what is that all about. I could do something for myself. SO I'm going to the store tonight after work and buy all the fixin's to make Christmas Dinner. I'm going to cook my heart out and enjoy the best meal I can put together. Foo...	Cathyinaz	11	956	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	The Pamphlet "Boundaries" (Preview) Picked up a copy of the Alanon pamphlet called "Boundaries". the 2nd bullet says: - Not to allow ourselves to be used it abuses by others in the interest of another's recovery. What does this mean to you? When I was in AA I was used badly by my sponsor. We are now both in Alanon. A few weeks ago I...	WorkingThroughIt	4	516	Dec 24, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	The disease keeps taking (Preview) Well if A was still A, the disease did not kill the one I knew. Things would be different. I realized I cannot take on one single thing more. The dogs won't work. they are too set and bonded to their people. One is escaping, the other is whining and sad. so the people are going to find a dog friendly home, and j...	Debilyn	16	605	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling feelings of loneliness, grief on Christmas Eve Christmas Eve Feeling feelings (Preview) My family has scattered after our qualifier died 3 years ago. When our father died, the four of us came together to grieve for two weeks. Now sisters are isolated and one sister, refuses to speak to me or my siblings. As the oldest sister, with sister 8 and 10 years younger I find it challenging today to...	PJJ108	3	906	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	oh!! Just some stuff I noticed (Preview) hey gang... on vaca till the 2nd of Jan. Friday i got off work and I am thinking "ok, self, we are ON OUR OWN for 13 or so days what R we gonna do???? Saturday was the 1/2 Goodwill "bonanza" sale and i had a ball...books, REAL leather dress coats/jackets for like $8 just awesome goodies....	neshema2	8	625	Dec 24, 2014 by neshema2
	Christmas Lunch in the Peanut Gallery. (Preview) For the past few years, our Christmas routine has been, daughter is with her father in the days leading up to Christmas. She stays with him Christmas eve and spends Christmas morning with him and then she is delivered to my grandmother's house at lunch-time where I am waiting. We have lunch then journe...	missmeliss	21	593	Dec 24, 2014 by missmeliss
	On the subject of minding others' business, shoulding, musts, etc (Preview) I don't know about you, but I get tired of listening to health experts, behavior experts, drug companies and the like as they broadcast through the media and at private parties the way each of us can improve ourselves. Of course, there are always ads for gyms, exercise equipment, fat burners, rehabs...	grateful2be	8	557	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	25 years married to the worst/best man I know (Preview) I have been married for 25 years to a man who is everything I could ask for in a partner...except when he has been drinking. I have not learned to walk away or set boundaries - if I walk away during a drunken "rant" he follows me through the house yelling at me, if I leave the house I have nowhere t...	Hailey44	7	657	Dec 24, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Wanting Concerned Family Members to Come With Me in Recovery (Preview) My AH has been in recovery since April. He was in a 4 week program and has lived in a faith-based sober house since then. After all that we went through leading to our separation and him going into treatment, it was doubtful that we would get back together. I certainly didn't have much hope. My parent...	CelinaR	5	547	Dec 24, 2014 by el-cee
	If you give the disease an audience family of origin coping anger abuse (Preview) When the disease is fed an audience, it will want more. On some days reality and sanity don't play well together. Yesterday was like that for me. I visited my parents in the nursing home. I was approached by my Mom's nurse who said that my sister spent several hours with the nursing home clergy sobbin...	bud	13	10150	Dec 23, 2014 by bud
	Sick of This - Over It - How Do You ACCEPT That This Horrible Thing Has Happened? Resentment! (Preview) i am really p.o.'d that i have to deal with this b.s. at this point in my life. i can understand why i have an alcoholic daughter . . . i see the karma . . . with my grandson, it didn't matter that i had sent his mom to alateen and had stepped in to help raise him. every single thing i did for him was to assist him and...	ohno	32	1057	Dec 23, 2014 by neshema2
	blue christmas (Preview) I have tried to be joyful,I used to adore Christmas,this year is so different.I ended my relationship so a lot of things are new.I always cooked and baked cookies.I used to have a special party for my grandchildren with special gifts and handmade items,treat bags,luscious foods.This year the money...	mjferg	4	518	Dec 23, 2014 by stillhangingon
	I'm not proud of this... (Preview) I made a comment to AH while we were having tea in bed this morning. I said 'I think that our tenant is probably not going to renew their lease in March.' (We have a flat that we rent out). AH said 'I'm not going to worry about it,' and then proceeded to talk about it in his monopolising voice. It was not a co...	milkwood	12	594	Dec 23, 2014 by bud
	Forgiveness in Theory and Practice forgiveness (Preview) Thanks for everyone's help in advance. The short question is what does forgiveness look like in a healthy relationship as opposed to a dysfunctional one? I'm a civilian married to a wonderful woman with 29 years with Al-Anon. I come from a deeply religious background (raised Evangelical, now Epi...	drywit44	7	9858	Dec 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	need to share (Preview) Hello MIP family: I have been here reading and learning but not posting much. There's something happening with me and I want to get it out there with you who will understand. As many of you know, I left a long marriage about a year and a half ago. A few months before my decision to leave, I asked a good fri...	yanksfan51	21	680	Dec 23, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Detaching AND Letting Go of Emotional Reactions (Preview) Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...	ohno	23	713	Dec 23, 2014 by el-cee
	mad at self for checking (Preview) I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...	joker	3	466	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	My trip (Preview) Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...	Newlife girl	13	524	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	So Where Do I Go From Here? (Preview) I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...	Athena1976	9	581	Dec 22, 2014 by Athena1976
	an early Christmas experience... (Preview) Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...	Hoot Nanny	4	489	Dec 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Guess who passed all her finals this week! Yeah me! (Preview) Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...	Breakingfree	17	647	Dec 22, 2014 by Jackie11
	Lost fiancée to alcohol, can't cope (Preview) In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...	1stLoveLastLove	4	581	Dec 22, 2014 by milkwood
	is this a new trick? (Preview) My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...	aquamom23	11	594	Dec 22, 2014 by tiredtonite
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...	robinfl	3	463	Dec 22, 2014 by neshema2
	looking after yourself (Preview) Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...	el-cee	12	575	Dec 21, 2014 by PP
	Turning him over.... (Preview) I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...	Truth	10	641	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	New Here, and Need a Bit of Help (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...	son74	5	596	Dec 21, 2014 by Lucers73
	New member not sure about Christmas with Alcoholic Father new member christmas alcoholic father (Preview) Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...	Holly111	2	5934	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Advice on family (Preview) Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....	Helpangel	3	389	Dec 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Thursday night drunk texts from the exAH and..... (Preview) So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...	Breakingfree	7	658	Dec 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	da boys (Preview) sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM	Debilyn	11	668	Dec 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	I am an adult child of an alcoholic father father dad drunk alcoholic threat violent abuse gun DUI overwhelmed pity party memories (Preview) I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...	Inundated	25	10100	Dec 21, 2014 by FriendOfBillysWife
	Hi 😊. I'm new & housebound (separated) wife of man in denial (Preview) not sure how this works, so I'm trying My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...	Lucers73	20	868	Dec 21, 2014 by YARNCRAZY
	Good news at last! (Preview) It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...	missmeliss	5	584	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	The divorce... (Preview) Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...	sookie	15	877	Dec 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	New to Alanon... (Preview) I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...	MaxGleam	4	515	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	still angry and moving forward (Preview) I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...	joker	5	670	Dec 20, 2014 by neshema2
	New to Board and Alanon (Preview) Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...	Sapphronia	4	458	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	On the subject of beauty (Preview) Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...	grateful2be	23	984	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	New guy here... (Preview) I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...	NEP	20	958	Dec 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Technical question (Preview) Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.	grateful2be	20	587	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm a Monk . . . (Preview) I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...	ohno	6	672	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	gratitude (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...	el-cee	17	656	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	I'm amazed, little changes make big differences! (Preview) Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...	John	11	603	Dec 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Unresolved grief (Preview) Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...	Newlife girl	16	748	Dec 20, 2014 by kismetstrand
	My boyfriends ex-wife finally got her way! (Preview) I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...	Breakingfree	16	776	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	What Do You Feel Your Higher Power Has Done For You? (Preview) Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...	ohno	22	641	Dec 19, 2014 by cloudyskies
	'Constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves'....What does it mean? (Preview) A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...	ymvv2000	14	5763	Dec 19, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.