The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
It has been a very nice evening! The weather was gorgeous, everyone was in a happy mood, the ceremony went well, daughter looked beautiful and afterwards I suggested we all go for coffee and we went to a local bar that is up stairs overlooking the beach and I found it was really quite natural and pleasant to chat and have coffee with my parents and my ex husband and his wife because, why not? I LOVE the gifts of this program and the freedom from resentment I gain day by day. Also daughter was so pleased to have her dad there and I could see he was very proud and she spent much of the night giggling with him and horsing around and they danced together at the end of the ceremony, and I realised that her spending time with him over these summer holidays is going to be just fine. They are 2 peas in a pod. When was watching them together I thought, you know what? He and I did once love each other and now we don't but look at the beautiful daughter we made, what a gift, none of it was wasted or in vain and that was a nice thought to have. So I'm happy and feeling good about everything tonight but it MIGHT be that I never, ever take medications unless it is life or death but tonight decided to get some cold and flu tablets to get me through the night and they are quite strong, that might account for why I love everyone and am in such a good mood LOL!!!!!
-- Edited by missmeliss on Wednesday 17th of December 2014 07:13:34 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Awwwwwwww Melly your pictures are gorguss, and your daughter is beautiful, I am not a big lover of medication either but sometimes needs must, I love that your thoughts were positive and you embraced the gift of your daughter and her father, building bridges and keeping it real, thank you for sharing your journey your a delight xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well done, Mom! I'm especially impressed by your gratitude. Now thank yourself.
Her dress is lovely. I was wondering what "a handful of coins" would get her. She looks happy.
The best part was your freedom from resentment and your thankfulness. well done
Thank you Ms.M., the pictures speak volumes !!! You and your lovely daughter look so very much alike. Your outfits are perfect and I am so pleased to read that (aside from your cold) the day turned out so well
Program tools are fantastic and when you have worked hard, as you have, and as the ODAT for yesterday points out, they just seem to pop up at all the occasions of our lives.
Loved your reflections regarding your marriage, and the fact that although you are no longer together you have both received a bountiful gift (your lovely daughter) from the marriage and there is no more hate or animosity to dwell on Congratulations my dear friend.
I hope you were able to sleep and that your have a speedy recovery.
She is beautiful and resembles her mama...I love the pictures of her in bare feet You were gifted with the graces of, forgiveness, love and gratitude. This is a big 'old WELL DONE.
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Tonight, while I was being sentimental and looking through pictures of my little girl growing up, I came across this one and finally, tears came.
A few years ago it came to my attention that my daughter had a shoebox under her bed, and every time we had an argument or I was angry with her, she would go to her room and write things on pieces of paper and put them in this box; any time I tried to enter her room after we had some kind of conflict, she would slam the box closed and put it back under the bed. I never opened it and peeked, even when I was really tempted because it has been my conviction that I will always respect her privacy and never read her private thoughts without invitation unless I have a serious reason to fear for her safety. So I assumed that when she wrote things and put them in this box, they were angry things about how mean and awful I am and how unfair life is. I thought, she's entitled to do that, and it isn't my business. I have always been very strongly motivated to respect my daughter's privacy because I didn't have privacy when I was a kid and I think it's absolutely imperative.
What I did tell her many times was, munchkin, I hope one day you will let me see what you have written so I can understand how you feel when you are angry but I will never, ever invade your privacy. So one day when she was about 9, she brought the box to me and said "I want you to have this now mum".
Inside was this picture of us, and lots of pieces of paper, where she had written...not angry words but happy times we had shared. "I love my mum, she took me to the movies yesterday, I love my mum, she spent all day laughing with me and being silly when I was sad" stuff like that. She instinctively made a gratitude list whenever she was angry. She knew how to do this years before I even heard of al-anon or had a clue about the value of being grateful and loving to combat fear and anger. She's an inspiring and amazing little soul and I am so proud of her.
This is the picture she had in the box.
It's from when she was in her prep year (I think most of you guys would say elementary school) and as part of their swimming lessons they had a day when they had to wear their pyjamas and practice swimming in heavy wet clothes in case they ever get caught in a flood or fall into a river fully clothed or something.
What an amazing child I have been blessed with.
Today I think I will put on my asset list, I am a good mother. I must be, to have raised this beautiful child.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
So so beautiful!!!Such a powerful reflection. She certainly is a beauty outside as well as a beautiful soul inside. Just as her mom!!!
Love the picture. It speaks so much more than words
You're making ME cry!! Wonderful story. She's going to continue being a pain in her teenage years when she is trying to figure out who she is, but you will have this as a foundation to know that it's all just temporary pain she's going through, suffereing won't be necessary!
Okay 2nd guy to admit you reach our hearts and you're making me cry...good cry though. Allergic to shoes...LOL Send her to Hilo and she would be right at home. When we go formal we wear slippers. The pictures are lovely though I can see the flu on you...hope it falls off. In time you may arrive at when I had the miracles of arriving in program from the program. I learned to love my alcoholic/addict like I had never loved her....and had no need to be married to her. Bless you Missmeliss another one to put in the good column. (((((hugs)))))
Good job!! Great pictures! Way to take the high road...socializing with everyone. It's about the kids, and what makes them happy. I'm sure she was happy! I invited my ex husband to my daughters high school graduation dinner and he wouldn't come. What an ass. He came to the ceremony, but I guess he felt too awkward to eat with us. At least I tried. You're doing great. Daughter looks nice.
Good job mom!
I do want to say that her early el picture could be my niece - except with very blond hair. It was like looking at one of my favorite nieces when I saw that picture. Maybe my brother-in-law is related to your family or her Dad's family? His ancestry is primarily British.
Wouldn't that be fascinating Catherine? The British side of my family is named king.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I am glad you and your daughter had a wonderful day Mel.
This chapter is now closed. You can concentrate on the next.
Yes she looks beautiful and happy and I love a kid with a strong personality that isn't a follower. Good for her! You obviously is doing an awesome job as a mum.
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
You were gifted with the graces of, forgiveness, love and gratitude. This is a big 'old WELL DONE.
