Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsister1979 · sadsister1979

I'm struggling with whether to commit my brother. He is 51 and has been in residential treatment twice over the past 5 years. He lives alone, is unemployed, his house is out of control and is declining steadily. He falls a a lot and is bruised all over his body. He also has a history of seizures relate...

hotrod · hotrod

Thought provoking readings today in both the C2C and ODAT Courage to Change speaks about keeping the focus on others and not paying attention to our own needs and wants. It points out that we neglected ourselves because we did not think we were worthy and did want others to see us as we were. I can id...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This morning I am feeling lonely. No one is up. Slept bad because my thoughts were racing. Now I have to face another day. I think I am going to try to organize some stuff & declutter my mind. Good day is yet to come if I let it.

andromeda · andromeda

Without going into a long story, I just want to vent over the fact that now my AH claims he wants to buy a house. 3 days ago he wanted to stay here and buy me out. I found a rental, they are willing to work with my unemployed self, and I was ready to sign the lease today and now AH throws out the, "I've foun...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I need some advice on how to break away from a dry drunk does it have to be really bad or can I gradually stop it.

mjferg · mjferg

I received a text from my daughter-in-law last night,my son left her and is asking for a divorce.They have 2 kids.She is hurting so bad,I really feel for her.I love them both and I told her I will be here for both of them.There aren't any bad feelings between us and I know I will be able to see my grandchil...

neshema2 · neshema2

on December 8th when I drug myself to the clinic hardly able to walk...needed help in the clinic to get around and to get up on the table, etc., for my exam, and finally got that shot in the muscle to put me out of my pain, the doctor while examining me said that that was one of the worst lower back muscle seizu...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C January 24 is a powerful page that reflects on the topic of Feelings. It stresses the importance of really feeling our feelings and not pretending. It suggests that we learn how to be honest with ourselves and stop trying to fit into someone else mold. It asos points out that Al-Anon doe...

Helpangel · Helpangel

hi all! I need some advice on how to detach from my ah who is 50 days sober but is hard to deal with. He works where I work yet goes in late all time complaining he can't sleep and then whines a lot about how he hates going to meetings all the time. If I don't say anything he gets mad if I do he gets mad. This recover...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

A posting from Andromeda reminded me of something. I played bass in a band until a couple of years ago where our keyboard player wrote a lot of originals. One of my favorites was a song called "My Reality is Skewed", it is about how our realities are skewed because we are spiritual beings in a...

glad · glad

I remember being all obsessed with the alcoholic and going on and on about how he was doing and someone saying to me, ok but how are YOU doing? ...That really sat be back a bit.. like a "cow looking at a new gate" is what we might say here in Texas. What did that mean "How was I doing" I'...

neshema2 · neshema2

Grateful challenge for Saturday.....I am grateful for the following: The lessons I learned about perseverance and keeping up the work and giving outcome over to HP That I came clean with my High School classmates about my being bullied and shamed b/c I had a terrible family and now they are reaching o...

flagbabe83 · flagbabe83

So as you may know, my AH (who is partial denial) stopped drinking for 30 days on his own to prove to me that he "doesn't have a problem." You and I know that this won't work. What I find is that even though he is currently sober and a dry drunk, I keep treating him like he is still drinking. I feel li...

John · John

This time of year is when everything comes due on the web sites annual expenses, so if you have the ability please consider making a 5-10 dollar donation to help offset the cost of this site. It is important that the site remains self supporting through its member contributions, and the burden of expe...

serenity47 · serenity47

It has been a very trying week. As I expected daughter lost job ( the 3rd ) in two months for I guess not showing up the next day I don't really know. I have been nutso worrying about her. Trying very hard to read my books and messages here and praying furiously to my hp to help me and her and attend online me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is bad enough that I am bone tired.I am still rechecking my every move. I think I ccan handle this one day at a time. It has been years since he left me on a total episode. For those who don't knowh has bp gambling addict & alcoholic. He has been sober years away from gambling & drinking & quit...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I already know what I'm going to do .. lol .. I guess I just need to read it and think for a min about it. My children are on her insurance now, I don't care I'm just glad they finally have insurance. Honestly it costs her nothing more so it's all good. XAH has insurance however not under her policy. So he h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am concerned because we have to get an alternator for our car & we have to spend more time together. I won't project but I hope we get along after having all these episodes. I will call a friend in the program if I need to & pray. I am just grateful for yesterday because we didn't argue & have a s...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Ive found lots of encouragement and hope in the posts on this board but am now serious about taking things to the next level. I cant seem to follow the step board and think I would probably work my program best with some help. I go to meetings once a week because thats all my schedule will allow. Its always a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something Alanon has taught me is how to have a life as I really did not. I was teased at last nights meeting that I hadn't been coming to due to scheduling conflicts that I finally showed up .. lol. Well, part of the wonderful part of Alanon is learning to live the life I have vs just talking about it. My k...

grateful2be · grateful2be

grateful2be · grateful2be

It is January 24th in New Zealand. Time to wish you a Happy Birthday, David!

grateful2be · grateful2be

Being retired with no responsibilities has been a new experience for me. It has been a delightfully new experience with many reasons for gratitude every day for me. During the winter season, it has also brought some real challenges. One of them being loneliness as I have been snowed in or iced in or...

Abg321 · Abg321

Hello all my boyfriend finally came clean to me last Monday and told me he was an alcoholic..he basically disappeared the weekend prior and went on a drinking bing, I felt lost... I cried and couldn't understand what I did wrong... Well when he finally told me, it all seemed to make sense....I wish I co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

What a day. I had so much fun! And also I was aware of the fact that I was having fun and the huge contrast to myself even 12 months ago and I was oh so grateful for it. So I suppose i was kinda introspective while I was outwardly enjoying my day for all it was worth. Daughter's friends and their mother did not sh...

Spur · Spur

I haven't visited the board for a couple months. I'm feeling like I have no direction. Reading on the forum tonight I came across a couple of posts that I'd like to quote here and comment on because they touch on what I'm dealing with at this point. Betty wrote, in reference to working Step One: "...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT for today emphasizes that learning how to use the Al-Anon program, in every part of our life is not a simple matter. The reading point out that walking the walk, in every part of our life, requires more than going to a meeting now and then. . It compares learning the alanon program to deciding t...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey everyone! TGIF.....so as you know I had my 50th b-day on Monday. My AH who has been sober 9 months and who has never given me a card, present, bday anything for the last 7 years decided he would take me to dinner. Good! Nope bad, he came in late from work because he decided to stay around with the guys and d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My lease is up next month on my apartment. The complex has been pretty good...one noisy neighbor who didn't last too long...but now they've allowed a family with a Pitbull to move in! I am so upset. I know people here who might have pitbulls will defend them...but facts don't lie. I don't trust them. I as...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Things are all over the place. I'm so happy to be moving in to a new place, stressed about the move. Pleased my daughter is getting everything she needs to start high school, stressed that so much has been paid for by my mother. I discussed this with her today, as she as insisting everything had to be paid u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The last couple of days my Ah have been arguing more than usual. I dealt w/ his abuse by yelling because at the time I thought that was the only way he would really hear me.So, I did the next right thing & called program friends, texted & called my sponsor. One example of something he said was that h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I've been working in the NICU for almost 25 years. My husband got fired from the same unit last March. I still try to cope with my feelings over the issue of him being fired. I still see the manager who "helped" in his firing. I have mixed feelings about it. I was reading online about nurse burno...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

My AH and I have discussed this over the years. There are days we can look at each other and think "what was I thinking?" and then there are days we can look and think "wow, he/she really looks good". When I was angry and feeling like there was 'nothing' there, I would stop and remind...

mjferg · mjferg

I didn't think I could do much of anything, but I am coming to realize a lot of things about myself and that is I really don't know too much about my true self,if that makes any sense.I am in school and making straight A's in all classes,Don't get me wrong,I am not bragging,I am completely and utterly amaze...

tooaware · tooaware

I am expecting a visit from my brother who I have seen only three times in the last 27 years. We were raised in an alcoholic home. In all these years we have lived in the same state. His wife died in Nov. He is coming to see me. I went to her memorial, but it was really awkward. We talked but I am trying not to frea...

neshema2 · neshema2

I read Betty's "today's alanon reading" and needed to see this...saw it this morning but had to go to work and also i wanted to think and meditate on this and be honest with me..with my HP I just can't accept me wholly yet....I did something real stupid last night and i went "off on me&...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT Reading for today Jan 20 is an extremely powerful page. I had to read and reread it several times before I could accept the principles that were offered. The entire meditation is about patience, and not reacting. It points out the thought that I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. If I s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can't go into it but I survived a bad time w/ my sober Ah.

New Member - first post · pilot225

It would take me years to get everything I want to say out, Im sure you all have been through very similar things but long story short, My mother has been an alcoholic for 20 years. Ever since I have been in my teens. I am an only child. Fast forward twenty years, my dad left her, I am married with two kids a...

Goldm00n · Goldm00n

Hi, I am new to this forum but not new to the program. I really thought I had left this part of my life behind. Not the principles but I hadn't had an active addict or alcoholic in my life a long time. I was a single mom for 16 years and I have been married almost 4 years. My new husband is wonderful but we did...

mm830 · mm830

Hi, I have not checked in for months, although I read posts daily. I just cannot get the consistency thing in life. I do this (AlAnon, workout, eat better etc), feel better, then I stop. I know it's on me to change this pattern. We inherited the sweetest dog. She is ten. I hope she stays with us a while but...

DavidG · DavidG

"Our hearts do not need logic, they can love and forgive and accept that which our minds cannot comprehend. Hearts understand in ways minds cannot." Lois W. My heart was broken, and my heart was gone. My heart felt like it was stomped on. So how could I read this, and write it down? I once suf...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Can anyone suggest online tools/ebooks/workbook on ways to work each step? So far all I can find are workbooks for the alcoholic.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I came into the Al-Anon program about 8 months ago. God led me to Al-Anon, and I am so thankful. I began working my program immediately. Through the Twelve Steps and Traditions, the slogans, the daily readings, the meetings, the shares and the service work, I have felt myself healing. I quickly worked...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am trying to get my ah out of my head and heart. I am still grieving after him being gone for 6 months. i can not seem to think straight,focus or trust myself with big decisions.i need to get my tax returns prepared for my accountant and have them mailed first week in feb i can not even start them and it will...

CDOD · CDOD

I am the wife of an alcoholic. He is 62 days sober today and I am so very proud of his progress and commitment to sobriety. He is taking an active role in our family again, helping out around our household and best of all just present in the day, which is something we haven't experienced in about the last 3...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was raised in a household that went to church 3 times a week. This wasn't just a 'go to church and listen to the sermon" type religion. This was a church that taught its members how to understand and then teach others what the bible message was. We had study aids, books and magazines with questions...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the power of detachment. It points out that living with active alcoholism is confusing and unsettling so that we often develop negative coping tools in order to have some semblance of order in our lives. Some of these tools are destructive and we need to change t...

DavidG · DavidG

Does Alanon have oversight of the Alateen board...? The board has not had any active members for a while. I see that there is a call for funding from members for $50 or $60... ...all groups should be self supporting, including Alateen. But with no members, why should any incoming members have to pay ar...

el-cee · el-cee

The alanon welcome pack is the best thing ive ever read. The leaflet on detachment was the best tool ive ever learned and used. It gave me a lot. When i learned to detach with love i got freedom. I learned, i didnt need to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. Not to allow myself to be u...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

This is something I've struggled with for years though I like to think I've gotten better at. I'm starting my new course next week. It will license me for self employment. I think I could potentially be great at it as I like public speaking though it terrifies me and I do love the freedom of self employmen...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today offers a great topic to consider and meditate on . The reading is urging us to keep the focus on ourselves , appreciate what we have in our lives and not compare ourselves to others. As I read this meditation I was reminded of the Al-Anon slogan which suggests that we:"...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

i am doing okay . im carfull what i say here only because i have ppl who like to ruin my achievement of getting better . im tending a meeting to night i miss everyone. im grateful for what i have ,im grateful im alive today and have my children and new healthy friends. im happy today

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This morning in the wee hours I am up again. I am so frustrated & angry w him because he wakes me up every morning to go to the bathroom & to take a BP pill. My dilemma is that I am an insomniac & have been sleeping bad since around Christmas time. So really it is not his fault that he chooses to stay...

Flower49 · Flower49

Well as of yesterday it's official I hit the half century mark. I had mixed feelings on it....reviewed my life, wondered what I had accomplished in all that time, decided it wasn't to much I guess not anymore than any others have done, decided it's only a number, decided I am permanently 48 and then real...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Things are all over the place right now and I am really struggling. One thing that I can't seem to get past is the idea that alcohlism is a disease. I feel like if I could grasp that concept I would be better able to see my AH with compassion and acceptance. And I think that would play a big role in detachin...

serenity47 · serenity47

Things appear to be, getting worse with my AD. Losing one job after the other, continued lies, etc. I don't know why I keep expecting everything to just suddenly turn around when she is doing nothing to have that happen. I keep trying to work step one over and over again but honestly feel very overwh...

jwall729 · jwall729

Hello all. So brand new to this and going to try to find an Al-anon meeting around my house. We have been in financial chaos and so focused on my AH's recovery that I've barely had time to take care of myself. Be warned I'm in the beginning steps here. AH is about 40 days clean and I'm still holding onto a...

Nailsxtacks · Nailsxtacks

My boyfriend a recovering opiate addict has been in rehab for 2 weeks now. He called me every morning and every night. Well Saturday we talked and everything was fine and he told me he loved me and he would call me in the morning. Well I never heard from him and I still haven't. It's been 2 days and it's very u...

missmeliss · missmeliss

And maybe that's OK. It has been years since I spent any length of time with my mother, you might recall I spent 3 days at her holiday house a year ago and almost lost my mind. The thing is a year later and with what I think are more refined and defined boundaries, I have no tolerance for it, and am finding any k...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	involuntary committal of a sibling (Preview) I'm struggling with whether to commit my brother. He is 51 and has been in residential treatment twice over the past 5 years. He lives alone, is unemployed, his house is out of control and is declining steadily. He falls a a lot and is bruised all over his body. He also has a history of seizures relate...	sadsister1979	4	448	Jan 25, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C ODAT thoughts for 1-25 (Preview) Thought provoking readings today in both the C2C and ODAT Courage to Change speaks about keeping the focus on others and not paying attention to our own needs and wants. It points out that we neglected ourselves because we did not think we were worthy and did want others to see us as we were. I can id...	hotrod	6	336	Jan 25, 2015 by Jerry F
	I am feeling lonely (Preview) This morning I am feeling lonely. No one is up. Slept bad because my thoughts were racing. Now I have to face another day. I think I am going to try to organize some stuff & declutter my mind. Good day is yet to come if I let it.	Hoot Nanny	7	445	Jan 25, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	UGH! More frustration (Preview) Without going into a long story, I just want to vent over the fact that now my AH claims he wants to buy a house. 3 days ago he wanted to stay here and buy me out. I found a rental, they are willing to work with my unemployed self, and I was ready to sign the lease today and now AH throws out the, "I've foun...	andromeda	28	666	Jan 25, 2015 by grateful2be
	How do you get out of a relationship with a dry drunk (Preview) I need some advice on how to break away from a dry drunk does it have to be really bad or can I gradually stop it.	Helpangel	8	494	Jan 25, 2015 by neshema2
	feeling some anxiety (Preview) I received a text from my daughter-in-law last night,my son left her and is asking for a divorce.They have 2 kids.She is hurting so bad,I really feel for her.I love them both and I told her I will be here for both of them.There aren't any bad feelings between us and I know I will be able to see my grandchil...	mjferg	3	259	Jan 25, 2015 by likemyheart
	From immoble to banana splits (Preview) on December 8th when I drug myself to the clinic hardly able to walk...needed help in the clinic to get around and to get up on the table, etc., for my exam, and finally got that shot in the muscle to put me out of my pain, the doctor while examining me said that that was one of the worst lower back muscle seizu...	neshema2	9	572	Jan 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Overview of C2C and ODAT Reading 1-24 (Preview) C2C January 24 is a powerful page that reflects on the topic of Feelings. It stresses the importance of really feeling our feelings and not pretending. It suggests that we learn how to be honest with ourselves and stop trying to fit into someone else mold. It asos points out that Al-Anon doe...	hotrod	6	572	Jan 25, 2015 by hotrod
	AH sober 50 days but sleep all the time and then complains the rest (Preview) hi all! I need some advice on how to detach from my ah who is 50 days sober but is hard to deal with. He works where I work yet goes in late all time complaining he can't sleep and then whines a lot about how he hates going to meetings all the time. If I don't say anything he gets mad if I do he gets mad. This recover...	Helpangel	17	1018	Jan 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	My Reality is Skewed (Preview) A posting from Andromeda reminded me of something. I played bass in a band until a couple of years ago where our keyboard player wrote a lot of originals. One of my favorites was a song called "My Reality is Skewed", it is about how our realities are skewed because we are spiritual beings in a...	KennyFenderjazz	5	652	Jan 24, 2015 by neshema2
	Walking in the truth takes a while to learn but so worth it! (Preview) I remember being all obsessed with the alcoholic and going on and on about how he was doing and someone saying to me, ok but how are YOU doing? ...That really sat be back a bit.. like a "cow looking at a new gate" is what we might say here in Texas. What did that mean "How was I doing" I'...	glad	8	562	Jan 24, 2015 by tiredtonite
	What am I grateful for TODAY???? (Preview) Grateful challenge for Saturday.....I am grateful for the following: The lessons I learned about perseverance and keeping up the work and giving outcome over to HP That I came clean with my High School classmates about my being bullied and shamed b/c I had a terrible family and now they are reaching o...	neshema2	12	658	Jan 24, 2015 by neshema2
	Feeling Frustrated and Being Negative ALL OF THE TIME! (Preview) So as you may know, my AH (who is partial denial) stopped drinking for 30 days on his own to prove to me that he "doesn't have a problem." You and I know that this won't work. What I find is that even though he is currently sober and a dry drunk, I keep treating him like he is still drinking. I feel li...	flagbabe83	7	560	Jan 24, 2015 by Jaclyn
	Donations for site funding and Board Moderator Request (Preview) This time of year is when everything comes due on the web sites annual expenses, so if you have the ability please consider making a 5-10 dollar donation to help offset the cost of this site. It is important that the site remains self supporting through its member contributions, and the burden of expe...	John	14	719	Jan 24, 2015 by Luiza
	Here we go again, just trying to hang on to my sanity (Preview) It has been a very trying week. As I expected daughter lost job ( the 3rd ) in two months for I guess not showing up the next day I don't really know. I have been nutso worrying about her. Trying very hard to read my books and messages here and praying furiously to my hp to help me and her and attend online me...	serenity47	9	375	Jan 24, 2015 by el-cee
	a work in progess (Preview) It is bad enough that I am bone tired.I am still rechecking my every move. I think I ccan handle this one day at a time. It has been years since he left me on a total episode. For those who don't knowh has bp gambling addict & alcoholic. He has been sober years away from gambling & drinking & quit...	Hoot Nanny	0	168	Jan 24, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	New Wife - Boundaries (Preview) I already know what I'm going to do .. lol .. I guess I just need to read it and think for a min about it. My children are on her insurance now, I don't care I'm just glad they finally have insurance. Honestly it costs her nothing more so it's all good. XAH has insurance however not under her policy. So he h...	SerenityRUS	4	417	Jan 24, 2015 by grateful2be
	stranded but not really: staying home (Preview) I am concerned because we have to get an alternator for our car & we have to spend more time together. I won't project but I hope we get along after having all these episodes. I will call a friend in the program if I need to & pray. I am just grateful for yesterday because we didn't argue & have a s...	Hoot Nanny	2	317	Jan 24, 2015 by grateful2be
	How to find a sponsor (Preview) Ive found lots of encouragement and hope in the posts on this board but am now serious about taking things to the next level. I cant seem to follow the step board and think I would probably work my program best with some help. I go to meetings once a week because thats all my schedule will allow. Its always a...	Hopefull15	5	693	Jan 24, 2015 by Hopefull15
	Learning to have a life (Preview) Something Alanon has taught me is how to have a life as I really did not. I was teased at last nights meeting that I hadn't been coming to due to scheduling conflicts that I finally showed up .. lol. Well, part of the wonderful part of Alanon is learning to live the life I have vs just talking about it. My k...	SerenityRUS	0	420	Jan 24, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Happy Birthday, Aquamom (Preview)	grateful2be	11	350	Jan 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Happy Birthday, David (Preview) It is January 24th in New Zealand. Time to wish you a Happy Birthday, David!	grateful2be	13	536	Jan 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Loneliness and HP's meeting the need (Preview) Being retired with no responsibilities has been a new experience for me. It has been a delightfully new experience with many reasons for gratitude every day for me. During the winter season, it has also brought some real challenges. One of them being loneliness as I have been snowed in or iced in or...	grateful2be	28	970	Jan 24, 2015 by PP
	Newbie needs advice (Preview) Hello all my boyfriend finally came clean to me last Monday and told me he was an alcoholic..he basically disappeared the weekend prior and went on a drinking bing, I felt lost... I cried and couldn't understand what I did wrong... Well when he finally told me, it all seemed to make sense....I wish I co...	Abg321	18	788	Jan 24, 2015 by grateful2be
	Summertime, and the livin is easy... (Preview) What a day. I had so much fun! And also I was aware of the fact that I was having fun and the huge contrast to myself even 12 months ago and I was oh so grateful for it. So I suppose i was kinda introspective while I was outwardly enjoying my day for all it was worth. Daughter's friends and their mother did not sh...	missmeliss	3	588	Jan 24, 2015 by hotrod
	ESH and Guidance Needed; Feeling Stuck In Recovery (Preview) I haven't visited the board for a couple months. I'm feeling like I have no direction. Reading on the forum tonight I came across a couple of posts that I'd like to quote here and comment on because they touch on what I'm dealing with at this point. Betty wrote, in reference to working Step One: "...	Spur	10	607	Jan 24, 2015 by PP
	ODAT and C2C 1-23 (Preview) ODAT for today emphasizes that learning how to use the Al-Anon program, in every part of our life is not a simple matter. The reading point out that walking the walk, in every part of our life, requires more than going to a meeting now and then. . It compares learning the alanon program to deciding t...	hotrod	11	460	Jan 23, 2015 by Spur
	No changes or really half measures (Preview) Hey everyone! TGIF.....so as you know I had my 50th b-day on Monday. My AH who has been sober 9 months and who has never given me a card, present, bday anything for the last 7 years decided he would take me to dinner. Good! Nope bad, he came in late from work because he decided to stay around with the guys and d...	Flower49	24	795	Jan 23, 2015 by grateful2be
	A pitbull as a service dog??!! I cry BS!! Sort of off topic? I need feedback (Preview) My lease is up next month on my apartment. The complex has been pretty good...one noisy neighbor who didn't last too long...but now they've allowed a family with a Pitbull to move in! I am so upset. I know people here who might have pitbulls will defend them...but facts don't lie. I don't trust them. I as...	Newlife girl	22	711	Jan 23, 2015 by Newlife girl
	Up, down, round and round... (Preview) Things are all over the place. I'm so happy to be moving in to a new place, stressed about the move. Pleased my daughter is getting everything she needs to start high school, stressed that so much has been paid for by my mother. I discussed this with her today, as she as insisting everything had to be paid u...	missmeliss	9	635	Jan 23, 2015 by hotrod
	everyone has a story & this is mine as of today (Preview) The last couple of days my Ah have been arguing more than usual. I dealt w/ his abuse by yelling because at the time I thought that was the only way he would really hear me.So, I did the next right thing & called program friends, texted & called my sponsor. One example of something he said was that h...	Hoot Nanny	3	190	Jan 23, 2015 by grateful2be
	Change scares me...a new job??? (Preview) I've been working in the NICU for almost 25 years. My husband got fired from the same unit last March. I still try to cope with my feelings over the issue of him being fired. I still see the manager who "helped" in his firing. I have mixed feelings about it. I was reading online about nurse burno...	Newlife girl	3	439	Jan 23, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling Love (Preview) My AH and I have discussed this over the years. There are days we can look at each other and think "what was I thinking?" and then there are days we can look and think "wow, he/she really looks good". When I was angry and feeling like there was 'nothing' there, I would stop and remind...	kismetstrand	4	401	Jan 23, 2015 by hotrod
	lies i have believed (Preview) I didn't think I could do much of anything, but I am coming to realize a lot of things about myself and that is I really don't know too much about my true self,if that makes any sense.I am in school and making straight A's in all classes,Don't get me wrong,I am not bragging,I am completely and utterly amaze...	mjferg	4	360	Jan 23, 2015 by grateful2be
	Estranged Family (Preview) I am expecting a visit from my brother who I have seen only three times in the last 27 years. We were raised in an alcoholic home. In all these years we have lived in the same state. His wife died in Nov. He is coming to see me. I went to her memorial, but it was really awkward. We talked but I am trying not to frea...	tooaware	1	488	Jan 23, 2015 by grateful2be
	Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I read Betty's "today's alanon reading" and needed to see this...saw it this morning but had to go to work and also i wanted to think and meditate on this and be honest with me..with my HP I just can't accept me wholly yet....I did something real stupid last night and i went "off on me&...	neshema2	42	1147	Jan 23, 2015 by PP
	ODAT Reading 1- 20 (Preview) ODAT Reading for today Jan 20 is an extremely powerful page. I had to read and reread it several times before I could accept the principles that were offered. The entire meditation is about patience, and not reacting. It points out the thought that I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. If I s...	hotrod	7	852	Jan 23, 2015 by karma13
	I will survive (Preview) Can't go into it but I survived a bad time w/ my sober Ah.	Hoot Nanny	5	286	Jan 23, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	New Member - first post (Preview) It would take me years to get everything I want to say out, Im sure you all have been through very similar things but long story short, My mother has been an alcoholic for 20 years. Ever since I have been in my teens. I am an only child. Fast forward twenty years, my dad left her, I am married with two kids a...	pilot225	8	595	Jan 23, 2015 by aquamom23
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum but not new to the program. I really thought I had left this part of my life behind. Not the principles but I hadn't had an active addict or alcoholic in my life a long time. I was a single mom for 16 years and I have been married almost 4 years. My new husband is wonderful but we did...	Goldm00n	17	559	Jan 23, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hand me down dog (Preview) Hi, I have not checked in for months, although I read posts daily. I just cannot get the consistency thing in life. I do this (AlAnon, workout, eat better etc), feel better, then I stop. I know it's on me to change this pattern. We inherited the sweetest dog. She is ten. I hope she stays with us a while but...	mm830	11	699	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Thought for today... (Preview) "Our hearts do not need logic, they can love and forgive and accept that which our minds cannot comprehend. Hearts understand in ways minds cannot." Lois W. My heart was broken, and my heart was gone. My heart felt like it was stomped on. So how could I read this, and write it down? I once suf...	DavidG	8	381	Jan 22, 2015 by bud
	where to find free/online help working the steps? (Preview) Can anyone suggest online tools/ebooks/workbook on ways to work each step? So far all I can find are workbooks for the alcoholic.	Hopefull15	6	473	Jan 22, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	healing from the inside out (Preview) I came into the Al-Anon program about 8 months ago. God led me to Al-Anon, and I am so thankful. I began working my program immediately. Through the Twelve Steps and Traditions, the slogans, the daily readings, the meetings, the shares and the service work, I have felt myself healing. I quickly worked...	cloudyskies	11	606	Jan 22, 2015 by cloudyskies
	Getting ah out of my head (Preview) I am trying to get my ah out of my head and heart. I am still grieving after him being gone for 6 months. i can not seem to think straight,focus or trust myself with big decisions.i need to get my tax returns prepared for my accountant and have them mailed first week in feb i can not even start them and it will...	Mirandac	9	534	Jan 22, 2015 by Mirandac
	Too Many Emotions (Preview) I am the wife of an alcoholic. He is 62 days sober today and I am so very proud of his progress and commitment to sobriety. He is taking an active role in our family again, helping out around our household and best of all just present in the day, which is something we haven't experienced in about the last 3...	CDOD	11	2498	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Spiritual Awakenings (Preview) I was raised in a household that went to church 3 times a week. This wasn't just a 'go to church and listen to the sermon" type religion. This was a church that taught its members how to understand and then teach others what the bible message was. We had study aids, books and magazines with questions...	kismetstrand	7	462	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Jan 22 readings (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the power of detachment. It points out that living with active alcoholism is confusing and unsettling so that we often develop negative coping tools in order to have some semblance of order in our lives. Some of these tools are destructive and we need to change t...	hotrod	25	357	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Questions about the Alateen board... (Preview) Does Alanon have oversight of the Alateen board...? The board has not had any active members for a while. I see that there is a call for funding from members for $50 or $60... ...all groups should be self supporting, including Alateen. But with no members, why should any incoming members have to pay ar...	DavidG	3	363	Jan 21, 2015 by DavidG
	the welcome pack (Preview) The alanon welcome pack is the best thing ive ever read. The leaflet on detachment was the best tool ive ever learned and used. It gave me a lot. When i learned to detach with love i got freedom. I learned, i didnt need to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. Not to allow myself to be u...	el-cee	15	1246	Jan 21, 2015 by neshema2
	fear and doubt (Preview) This is something I've struggled with for years though I like to think I've gotten better at. I'm starting my new course next week. It will license me for self employment. I think I could potentially be great at it as I like public speaking though it terrifies me and I do love the freedom of self employmen...	aquamom23	9	476	Jan 21, 2015 by PP
	Thoughts from ODAT 1-21 (Preview) ODAT reading for today offers a great topic to consider and meditate on . The reading is urging us to keep the focus on ourselves , appreciate what we have in our lives and not compare ourselves to others. As I read this meditation I was reminded of the Al-Anon slogan which suggests that we:"...	hotrod	9	454	Jan 21, 2015 by PP
	im back im stronger (Preview) i am doing okay . im carfull what i say here only because i have ppl who like to ruin my achievement of getting better . im tending a meeting to night i miss everyone. im grateful for what i have ,im grateful im alive today and have my children and new healthy friends. im happy today	Wisdom67	5	314	Jan 21, 2015 by Jerry F
	trying not to blame the Ah (Preview) This morning in the wee hours I am up again. I am so frustrated & angry w him because he wakes me up every morning to go to the bathroom & to take a BP pill. My dilemma is that I am an insomniac & have been sleeping bad since around Christmas time. So really it is not his fault that he chooses to stay...	Hoot Nanny	3	272	Jan 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Fifty (Preview) Well as of yesterday it's official I hit the half century mark. I had mixed feelings on it....reviewed my life, wondered what I had accomplished in all that time, decided it wasn't to much I guess not anymore than any others have done, decided it's only a number, decided I am permanently 48 and then real...	Flower49	17	627	Jan 21, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	How is alcoholism a disease? (Preview) Things are all over the place right now and I am really struggling. One thing that I can't seem to get past is the idea that alcohlism is a disease. I feel like if I could grasp that concept I would be better able to see my AH with compassion and acceptance. And I think that would play a big role in detachin...	searching4peace	27	4689	Jan 20, 2015 by John
	Struggling alot today (Preview) Things appear to be, getting worse with my AD. Losing one job after the other, continued lies, etc. I don't know why I keep expecting everything to just suddenly turn around when she is doing nothing to have that happen. I keep trying to work step one over and over again but honestly feel very overwh...	serenity47	13	654	Jan 20, 2015 by cloudyskies
	Brand New (Preview) Hello all. So brand new to this and going to try to find an Al-anon meeting around my house. We have been in financial chaos and so focused on my AH's recovery that I've barely had time to take care of myself. Be warned I'm in the beginning steps here. AH is about 40 days clean and I'm still holding onto a...	jwall729	5	474	Jan 20, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Needing some advice. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) My boyfriend a recovering opiate addict has been in rehab for 2 weeks now. He called me every morning and every night. Well Saturday we talked and everything was fine and he told me he loved me and he would call me in the morning. Well I never heard from him and I still haven't. It's been 2 days and it's very u...	Nailsxtacks	43	971	Jan 20, 2015 by neshema2
	This just isn't going to go the way I want. (Preview) And maybe that's OK. It has been years since I spent any length of time with my mother, you might recall I spent 3 days at her holiday house a year ago and almost lost my mind. The thing is a year later and with what I think are more refined and defined boundaries, I have no tolerance for it, and am finding any k...	missmeliss	9	543	Jan 20, 2015 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.