Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...

bd · bd

Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was *not* to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...

ditto · ditto

Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...

hannv · hannv

my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks

chrissy · chrissy

i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...

ditto · ditto

I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...

Karilynn · Karilynn

The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...

Powerless · Powerless

I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...

chrissy · chrissy

I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Just received this from a friend and it really helped me remember all the things I forget to do when I am in a crisis...thought it might be helpful to others too. **Please note: this is not Conference Approved.** Ten Guidelines from Your Higher Power Effective immediately, pleas...

kitty · kitty

I first came to the 12 step programs 20 yrs ago, when my childhood, best friend decided to become clean. I supported her & went to AA & NA mtgs with her, sometimes we hit 3 meetings in a day. She substituted the program for the drugs & went after serenity with a vengence... ...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Okay, I have been feeling like a hypocrite. My husband is living with his parents. He has no responsibilities, no obligations. His every need is met. He has plenty of food, a comfortable bed, cable, they maintain his car and give him spending money. He does not work, and has nothing but excuses of why...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Order "We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93 Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is i...

sandy · sandy

Hi Everyone, You would think after living with an "A" for 38 years I would have this figured out but I really don't know why. I have always got mad and angry with my husband when he starts drinking and I'm the same way with my daughter. I talked to her yesterday morning she seemed okay, a little d...

Becca · Becca

I had a slip today and expressed terrible rage towards my spouse (the alcoholic) and I need to tell on myself and share. I have been in the program for about 2 1/2 years. I recently moved to a new area and there are not as many meetings near me that I'm used to attending. I have worked the...

mollyann · mollyann

Hi Everyone, I found this bit about resentment on the hazeldon.org site and thought I would share: Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person. They punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. Res...

bd · bd

Hi group When do we stop trying to help the A's in our life. Will I ever truly learn to let go? I always feel the need to extend my help and feel I'm turning my back it i don't. I understand the term detachment but can it really be achieved especially when an A is a parent. I keep st...

lilleah · lilleah

Hi all! I know I haven't written in awhile, but my A is pretty much on the computer constantly looking for a job. I hope everyone is doing well. I really need everyone right now. I am having terrible problems at work-which I won't go into, except to say it is harassment, and I am planning on speaking...

Powerless · Powerless

I really need views from my friends here. I spent the weekend at my parents about an hour away. We had a wonderful visit. They have offered to come down one day this week while my husband is at work and pack up the essentials and let me come live with them, rent-free until I can find a job...

Maria123 · Maria123

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kitty · kitty

I have been doing fairly well, the last few days... still trying to rest & not stress out too much, which is extremelely difficult for me, I stress about everything compulsively. I am sensitive & empathetic, I did healing work for over 10 years. The last 2 years, I have t...

marmare · marmare

The day started with a phone call from my girlfriend in FL, just checking up on me, we had a wonderful visit....... I probably am writing this for myself, but finding whatever it takes that makes it work is okay! I will finish my coffee this morning then off to run errands. I need to go to th...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

ive tried to work these steps but need more insight on these 2 im having so many problems with dealing with me ,ppl at my ftf meetings dont want to sponser dunno y but they dont,i guess or i feel like im at yalls mercy at this they seem to shy away from the steps 4 and 5 anyway,i can look at others problem...

hadit · hadit

First of all, thank you all who responded to my post from last night. I felt good when I wrote it and you all made me feel even better. I am going to try and keep up the good work. Now for the delima. My ex the "A" just called me about ten minutes ago. I still had not returned his calls from...

megan · megan

From Isabela: If you get a chance, give our friends at MIP my love and let them know I have not forogtten any of them and they are often in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending many good thoughts their way...for their health, happiness, and recovery. Isabela is working ver...

leo · leo

Hi I am hoping you guys can come up with a bit of advice here. To those of you who don't know I live in a small town and my husband lost his licence. Of course the bush telegraph was quick and everybody knew about it. For those who didn't know I chose to tell only the ones I wanted to a...

Mars · Mars

encouraged me to look for a site i could be a member of . As he was getting so much from the site he used. i was reading the post`s etc and just thinking of posting again . As now i can bore you rather than friends . i do not discuss my partner with my family anymore if i hear one more "end it ","he is n...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

this is the challenge of my life learning how to detach with love everytime

,but ive got to learn it somehow i read alot of alanon lit but not to much on detaching with love it so easy to fall back into those old famieler ways of detaching out of a...

kitty · kitty

Many of you already know my story but I have been under the wheather for a month now & I wasn't on the computer, in fact I was hardly doing anything but praying. I see a lot of new names & I am so happy to know more ppl are finding our safe haven for love, support, encouragement & growth. ...

chrissy · chrissy

AS YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND AND I SEPERATED LAST WEEK HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO MEETINGS AND DOING WELL. HE CALLED ME AFTER HIS MEETING AND SAID HE LOVED ME AND TO COME BY HIM HE WANTED TO TAKE ME & OUR DAUGHTER TO A CARNIVAL AND SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER. SO I SAID GREAT I TOLD MY DAUGHTER...

kitty · kitty

Posting helps so much but I feel I get even more out of the feedback... just to know you're understood, being too critical or wtvr, thank you so much, it really means a lot to me & I appreciate it more than I can express. I feel like you are my sane family!

princess433 · princess433

Hi. I just read your reply to one of my post. I am 13 years old and I was tooken away from my mom when I was 9. I, luckily, had my grandparents to take me in. I know what your granddaughter is feeling. It hurts alot to see someone you know hurt so bad, let alone hurting themself so bad. I think that the worst part f...

gardengal · gardengal

Is there anything that stands in the way of my trusting a HP? What obstacles block me from turning over my will to HP? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees, I hold out, thinking that I"ll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed again and again. The risk of f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

A New Pattern Of Living "We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have." Basic Text p. 75 Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to r...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I remember coming into the program not knowing what it was all about, other than it was for family and friends of alcoholics. I had no idea how it would help me, but had been told a few years prior by a co-worker how wonderful the program was and that it had helped her. She didn't go into detail...

Mars · Mars

well my partner has been dry for 5 weeks , which has been wonderfull but also scarey. i have dreams about him drinking and all that intails . the sulking , arguing, and the police that have been called by a neighbour or ambulance as he has hurt himself . when he is drunk he is a bloody nightmare...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

: Things are great one day, so-so the next in sobriety. Just when I have to Live and Let Live....I forget the LIVE part. That is, LIVE for me, MY LIFE. Wonder if I will ever get it down pat. Just beefin' and appreciate any feedback. &nb...

sg · sg

My A.'s drinking as estranged him from his two step children (12 and 14 yrs old) for a few years now. Neither one of them really have much to do w/him anymore. When he was drinking he was obnoxious and embarassing to them. When he wasn't drinking he was rough, gruff and angry at them. In particular my A. has...

sg · sg

I breed cockatiels for a local pet store. I have four hens nesting right now and yesterday two chicks hatched. It always amazes me when I see these lil' creatures break out of the shell and come into the world. The size of a nickle when born and so full of life. Chirping and peeping so loud to be taken care of...

hadit · hadit

Hi everyone. Well, just when I think I may be making just a little bit of progress working on myself, I slip and screw up. My husband and I have been split up for one month. We have not really seen each other during this time except for a few minutes here and there when he came to the house to pick something u...

confused · confused

I came to the board last night after a week of not feeling well, dragging myself to work and waiting for the next shoe to drop with my A. It was then that I realized just how dumb I was all week. Each night I came home, dinner was ready. Yeah, this is something that I have done for years and years with very few th...

lilleah · lilleah

You know, when I came on tonight, after not being on for awhile, I was upset that my A had gone out without me, when he KNEW I had wanted to go, and he had just offered to take me out tomorrow to appease me. I was taking it very personally. But after reading all these posts, something just hit me, like a ton of br...

hadit · hadit

Hi everyone. Last night I posted on the board about inviting my ex over for dinner and how I was confused as to why I even did it. Your responses were that I love him (which I do), that I miss him (which I do), that I need to do for me first (which I don't). The decision to have him here at what is now MY...

bd · bd

The last time I saw my dad (A) was about 3 weeks ago. They live about 3 hours away. I told them that I was going for this promotion at work (which i didn;t get but thats ok). Anyway I haven't heard from him since. No a good luck when I walked out and not a call to see how things went.&n...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, The relationship with me and my recoverying alcoholic/drug addicted daughter is going really well now. Being gone from things at home sure helped me alot. I am more relaxed now too. She moved into a house out of town and is renting a room. She can have her dog there and just aquir...

pixel04 · pixel04

Hi, Recently, I have been having trouble letting go of a friend's behavior. We have been through a lot together, much of it good, but lately I have found her behavior to be pretty hurtful. Each morning, I pray for the strength to accept her behavior for what it is and let it go. I don't want to keep bein...

dogscribe · dogscribe

I can't believe it - he got so drunk last night that he was still drunk this morning and actually went to work. Oh my God!!! He really has no clue. We both work at the same company and carpool so at least I drove. He convinced himself that it's all because his neck is bothering him...

marmare · marmare

Day six, I still have not talked to my A. I am so thankful first for the people here on the board. This has been the hardest week for me. People I have known for years always tell me what a strong person I am, but this week I have not felt strong. I have felt lonely, frustrated, tire...

Lani · Lani

Problems are fixed! Thank you, Lani ((((hugs))))

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Survived Week One (Preview) Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...	Ratchie	6	912	Oct 11, 2005 by nmike
	Feeling Better (Preview) Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...	bd	5	551	Oct 11, 2005 by pixel04
	unique but NEVER alone (Preview) Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was not to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...	rosie light shines	0	714	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	getting right with thy brother, even if he is a dung heap (Preview) Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...	rosie light shines	0	633	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Divorce Bulletin Board? (Preview) Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?	ditto	1	598	Oct 11, 2005 by KathyS
	What Does It Mean To "Work the Steps"? (Preview) I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...	BlueCloud	2	4667	Oct 11, 2005 by jj
	husband quit drinking and is moody. when will his end? (Preview) my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks	hannv	3	2751	Oct 11, 2005 by WakingUp
	ok i did stuff for me today but i also played detective (Preview) i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...	chrissy	4	882	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	Saw the Therapist today (Preview) I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...	ditto	4	778	Oct 11, 2005 by leo
	One year later (Preview) Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...	Karilynn	5	754	Oct 10, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Desiderata (Preview) The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...	Karilynn	2	926	Oct 10, 2005 by ajt62
	WOW!! big lesson surrender (Preview) Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...	rosie light shines	1	637	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Only have two days to make a major decision (Preview) I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...	Powerless	5	782	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Crying (Preview) Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...	Karilynn	2	870	Oct 10, 2005 by nmike
	Song Lyrics (Preview) Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...	Emmie11	0	489	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	this is an email from my deacon (Preview) I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...	chrissy	1	689	Oct 10, 2005 by Christy
	payoffs from bad relationships (Preview) Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...	rosie light shines	0	692	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
	bending with the wind (Preview) *Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday* Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...	rosie light shines	0	420	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Ten Guidelines from HP (Preview) Just received this from a friend and it really helped me remember all the things I forget to do when I am in a crisis...thought it might be helpful to others too. Please note: this is not Conference Approved. Ten Guidelines from Your Higher Power Effective immediately, pleas...	Emmie11	4	681	Oct 10, 2005 by notsonew1111
	freeing myself (Preview) I first came to the 12 step programs 20 yrs ago, when my childhood, best friend decided to become clean. I supported her & went to AA & NA mtgs with her, sometimes we hit 3 meetings in a day. She substituted the program for the drugs & went after serenity with a vengence... ...	kitty	4	528	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	Who's consequenses? (Preview) Okay, I have been feeling like a hypocrite. My husband is living with his parents. He has no responsibilities, no obligations. His every need is met. He has plenty of food, a comfortable bed, cable, they maintain his car and give him spending money. He does not work, and has nothing but excuses of why...	Jeannie	11	653	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	putting my house in order (Preview) Order "We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93 Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is i...	rosie light shines	2	737	Oct 9, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Why do I get so angry? (Preview) Hi Everyone, You would think after living with an "A" for 38 years I would have this figured out but I really don't know why. I have always got mad and angry with my husband when he starts drinking and I'm the same way with my daughter. I talked to her yesterday morning she seemed okay, a little d...	sandy	8	729	Oct 9, 2005 by Jeannie
	Raging again. I've slipped! (Preview) I had a slip today and expressed terrible rage towards my spouse (the alcoholic) and I need to tell on myself and share. I have been in the program for about 2 1/2 years. I recently moved to a new area and there are not as many meetings near me that I'm used to attending. I have worked the...	Becca	5	657	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	Resentments and New Beginnings (Preview) Hi Everyone, I found this bit about resentment on the hazeldon.org site and thought I would share: Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person. They punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. Res...	mollyann	6	783	Oct 9, 2005 by serenity
	When do we stop trying? (Preview) Hi group When do we stop trying to help the A's in our life. Will I ever truly learn to let go? I always feel the need to extend my help and feel I'm turning my back it i don't. I understand the term detachment but can it really be achieved especially when an A is a parent. I keep st...	bd	4	549	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	sad and hopeless (Preview) Hi all! I know I haven't written in awhile, but my A is pretty much on the computer constantly looking for a job. I hope everyone is doing well. I really need everyone right now. I am having terrible problems at work-which I won't go into, except to say it is harassment, and I am planning on speaking...	lilleah	4	555	Oct 9, 2005 by Earthmother
	Need a sounding board (Preview) I really need views from my friends here. I spent the weekend at my parents about an hour away. We had a wonderful visit. They have offered to come down one day this week while my husband is at work and pack up the essentials and let me come live with them, rent-free until I can find a job...	Powerless	2	763	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	Angels Among Us by Alabama (Preview) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------	Maria123	2	530	Oct 9, 2005 by Faith73
	emotionally some days r tougher than others (Preview) I have been doing fairly well, the last few days... still trying to rest & not stress out too much, which is extremelely difficult for me, I stress about everything compulsively. I am sensitive & empathetic, I did healing work for over 10 years. The last 2 years, I have t...	kitty	0	556	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	Big Plans (Preview) The day started with a phone call from my girlfriend in FL, just checking up on me, we had a wonderful visit....... I probably am writing this for myself, but finding whatever it takes that makes it work is okay! I will finish my coffee this morning then off to run errands. I need to go to th...	marmare	9	527	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	working the 4 and 5 steps (Preview) ive tried to work these steps but need more insight on these 2 im having so many problems with dealing with me ,ppl at my ftf meetings dont want to sponser dunno y but they dont,i guess or i feel like im at yalls mercy at this they seem to shy away from the steps 4 and 5 anyway,i can look at others problem...	pattyann1963	5	533	Oct 9, 2005 by Flora123
	Now what do I do (Preview) First of all, thank you all who responded to my post from last night. I felt good when I wrote it and you all made me feel even better. I am going to try and keep up the good work. Now for the delima. My ex the "A" just called me about ten minutes ago. I still had not returned his calls from...	hadit	5	633	Oct 9, 2005 by jj
	Update on Isabela (Preview) From Isabela: If you get a chance, give our friends at MIP my love and let them know I have not forogtten any of them and they are often in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending many good thoughts their way...for their health, happiness, and recovery. Isabela is working ver...	megan	2	627	Oct 9, 2005 by Flora123
	suggestions (Preview) Hi I am hoping you guys can come up with a bit of advice here. To those of you who don't know I live in a small town and my husband lost his licence. Of course the bush telegraph was quick and everybody knew about it. For those who didn't know I chose to tell only the ones I wanted to a...	leo	9	783	Oct 9, 2005 by leo
	my A partner (Preview) encouraged me to look for a site i could be a member of . As he was getting so much from the site he used. i was reading the post`s etc and just thinking of posting again . As now i can bore you rather than friends . i do not discuss my partner with my family anymore if i hear one more "end it ","he is n...	Mars	1	588	Oct 9, 2005 by lin0606
	Detachment (Preview) this is the challenge of my life learning how to detach with love everytime,but ive got to learn it somehow i read alot of alanon lit but not to much on detaching with love it so easy to fall back into those old famieler ways of detaching out of a...	pattyann1963	2	616	Oct 9, 2005 by lin0606
	respect & boundaires (Preview) Many of you already know my story but I have been under the wheather for a month now & I wasn't on the computer, in fact I was hardly doing anything but praying. I see a lot of new names & I am so happy to know more ppl are finding our safe haven for love, support, encouragement & growth. ...	kitty	3	647	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	HERE WE GO AGAIN (Preview) AS YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND AND I SEPERATED LAST WEEK HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO MEETINGS AND DOING WELL. HE CALLED ME AFTER HIS MEETING AND SAID HE LOVED ME AND TO COME BY HIM HE WANTED TO TAKE ME & OUR DAUGHTER TO A CARNIVAL AND SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER. SO I SAID GREAT I TOLD MY DAUGHTER...	chrissy	10	744	Oct 8, 2005 by marmare
	thanks for the feedback (Preview) Posting helps so much but I feel I get even more out of the feedback... just to know you're understood, being too critical or wtvr, thank you so much, it really means a lot to me & I appreciate it more than I can express. I feel like you are my sane family!	kitty	0	450	Oct 8, 2005 by kitty
	Sandy.... (Preview) Hi. I just read your reply to one of my post. I am 13 years old and I was tooken away from my mom when I was 9. I, luckily, had my grandparents to take me in. I know what your granddaughter is feeling. It hurts alot to see someone you know hurt so bad, let alone hurting themself so bad. I think that the worst part f...	princess433	2	657	Oct 8, 2005 by sandy
	TRYING TO CONTROL? (Preview) Is there anything that stands in the way of my trusting a HP? What obstacles block me from turning over my will to HP? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees, I hold out, thinking that I"ll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed again and again. The risk of f...	gardengal	4	522	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	addiction and envy (Preview) *There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich* No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....	rosie light shines	0	444	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	i want to keep what i got (Preview) A New Pattern Of Living "We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have." Basic Text p. 75 Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to r...	rosie light shines	0	561	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	freeing me from addiction and envy (Preview) *There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich* No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....	rosie light shines	0	422	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	The "He He He's/She She She's" (Preview) I remember coming into the program not knowing what it was all about, other than it was for family and friends of alcoholics. I had no idea how it would help me, but had been told a few years prior by a co-worker how wonderful the program was and that it had helped her. She didn't go into detail...	kismetstrand	9	1523	Oct 8, 2005 by Mars
	hi to you all (Preview) well my partner has been dry for 5 weeks , which has been wonderfull but also scarey. i have dreams about him drinking and all that intails . the sulking , arguing, and the police that have been called by a neighbour or ambulance as he has hurt himself . when he is drunk he is a bloody nightmare...	Mars	5	602	Oct 8, 2005 by Mars
	Tough moments....forgetting "LIVE" (Preview) : Things are great one day, so-so the next in sobriety. Just when I have to Live and Let Live....I forget the LIVE part. That is, LIVE for me, MY LIFE. Wonder if I will ever get it down pat. Just beefin' and appreciate any feedback. &nb...	wallsal55	3	755	Oct 8, 2005 by kitty
	Recovery is painful to watch at times (Preview) My A.'s drinking as estranged him from his two step children (12 and 14 yrs old) for a few years now. Neither one of them really have much to do w/him anymore. When he was drinking he was obnoxious and embarassing to them. When he wasn't drinking he was rough, gruff and angry at them. In particular my A. has...	sg	3	550	Oct 8, 2005 by canadianguy
	Spiritual Awakening (Preview) I breed cockatiels for a local pet store. I have four hens nesting right now and yesterday two chicks hatched. It always amazes me when I see these lil' creatures break out of the shell and come into the world. The size of a nickle when born and so full of life. Chirping and peeping so loud to be taken care of...	sg	1	456	Oct 8, 2005 by bubbles1990
	Help me figure this out please (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, just when I think I may be making just a little bit of progress working on myself, I slip and screw up. My husband and I have been split up for one month. We have not really seen each other during this time except for a few minutes here and there when he came to the house to pick something u...	hadit	5	560	Oct 8, 2005 by tara21403
	gratitude/one day at a time (Preview) I came to the board last night after a week of not feeling well, dragging myself to work and waiting for the next shoe to drop with my A. It was then that I realized just how dumb I was all week. Each night I came home, dinner was ready. Yeah, this is something that I have done for years and years with very few th...	confused	4	707	Oct 8, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Thank you (Preview) You know, when I came on tonight, after not being on for awhile, I was upset that my A had gone out without me, when he KNEW I had wanted to go, and he had just offered to take me out tomorrow to appease me. I was taking it very personally. But after reading all these posts, something just hit me, like a ton of br...	lilleah	4	537	Oct 8, 2005 by Maria123
	Finally, I did something for me (Preview) Hi everyone. Last night I posted on the board about inviting my ex over for dinner and how I was confused as to why I even did it. Your responses were that I love him (which I do), that I miss him (which I do), that I need to do for me first (which I don't). The decision to have him here at what is now MY...	hadit	8	714	Oct 8, 2005 by Maria123
	Disappointed (Preview) The last time I saw my dad (A) was about 3 weeks ago. They live about 3 hours away. I told them that I was going for this promotion at work (which i didn;t get but thats ok). Anyway I haven't heard from him since. No a good luck when I walked out and not a call to see how things went.&n...	bd	8	874	Oct 8, 2005 by Kim
	Update on daughter and me :) (Preview) Hello friends, The relationship with me and my recoverying alcoholic/drug addicted daughter is going really well now. Being gone from things at home sure helped me alot. I am more relaxed now too. She moved into a house out of town and is renting a room. She can have her dog there and just aquir...	cdb	5	559	Oct 8, 2005 by david62
	Letting Go (Preview) Hi, Recently, I have been having trouble letting go of a friend's behavior. We have been through a lot together, much of it good, but lately I have found her behavior to be pretty hurtful. Each morning, I pray for the strength to accept her behavior for what it is and let it go. I don't want to keep bein...	pixel04	2	604	Oct 8, 2005 by bob6502
	I can't believe it (Preview) I can't believe it - he got so drunk last night that he was still drunk this morning and actually went to work. Oh my God!!! He really has no clue. We both work at the same company and carpool so at least I drove. He convinced himself that it's all because his neck is bothering him...	dogscribe	10	711	Oct 8, 2005 by KathyS
	Thankful (Preview) Day six, I still have not talked to my A. I am so thankful first for the people here on the board. This has been the hardest week for me. People I have known for years always tell me what a strong person I am, but this week I have not felt strong. I have felt lonely, frustrated, tire...	marmare	5	544	Oct 8, 2005 by Tammy
	Thank you! (Preview) Problems are fixed! Thank you, Lani ((((hugs))))	Lani	0	430	Oct 8, 2005 by Lani
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.