Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hadit · hadit

Can someone please explain to me why is it that everytime I start to make progress within myself, I slip and fall behind. Just the other day I did a similar thing, gave in but rectified it. Did for me instead of for him. I am trying to set some boundaries for myself towards my a. He and I as you pr...

marmare · marmare

Well, his parents have now laid down the law. He called because his mother told him that was condition to staying there this week. He started by telling me that he hasn't thought about me all week, (I so much wanted to say that is because he was drunk and/or high, but I didn't) I stayed...

captcodee · captcodee

As you can all plainly see, there is a member who is quite upset... well, very very upset. As we process this, lets remember why we are here. Take what you like, and leave the rest. Obviously he is hurting very bad, and when he processes this, we want it to be a place he is still welcome.&nbs...

mollyann · mollyann

Hi Everyone, I found Al Anon two months ago, and started attending meetings and working my program. I was also going to monthly therapy appointments. My dad was an alcoholic and died when I was very young. I started going to Al Anon meetings because my boyfriend of six months was a heavy drinker....

nycbt · nycbt

I have a very hard time making boundaries. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and married for 14 months. He was sober for six months and now has gone back to drinking. We only have one car so when he decides to go out drinking I worry that something might happen like a DWI and I don't know if I want to g...

sg · sg

Just curious if anyone else has dealt w/their A becoming obsessive about certain things. For the 7 yrs I have been married to my A. he goes thru periods of obsession with certain things. It use to be HOURS upon HOURS playing computer games. Then it was things like remote control racecars,...

sandy · sandy

Thank you to all who responded to Why do I get so angry. I feel a little better, I suppose I do, I feel more like crying instead of being mad. I have such mixed emotions, like everyone I suppose or we wouldn't be here. I printed the post 10 Guidelines from our HP. I'll have to study them or get them bea...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well I've decided that it is time for a necessary change! I talked to my husband of 20 years yesterday and he told me he has no plans on ever stopping drinking. He told me he knows I cannot handle his drinking. I have decided that if he still cannot see beyond his bottle.. and it does...

kitty · kitty

I have read that a human must hear something seven times before they are willing to even consider the idea. Not only does making lists help me to remember what I love about myself & life, I make up signs & stick them on the wall, to allow my mind to see positive affirmations or reminders over &am...

mastiff · mastiff

Was reading in my husband's big book a while back and wasn't sure if all were framilar with the chapers that are addressed to us, the Alanoners..... There are 2 of them they are labeled "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward." "To Wives" was written when most of the time the alcoholic in the family w...

Powerless · Powerless

I feel like I am deceiving him. He has asked me several times over the past few days if I am planning on leaving him. I told him no because I did not want to create a scene; especially in front of the children. He told me Saturday that his biggest fear is coming home from work one day to find out th...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...

bd · bd

Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was *not* to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...

ditto · ditto

Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...

hannv · hannv

my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks

chrissy · chrissy

i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...

ditto · ditto

I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...

Karilynn · Karilynn

The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...

Powerless · Powerless

I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...

chrissy · chrissy

I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Just received this from a friend and it really helped me remember all the things I forget to do when I am in a crisis...thought it might be helpful to others too. **Please note: this is not Conference Approved.** Ten Guidelines from Your Higher Power Effective immediately, pleas...

kitty · kitty

I first came to the 12 step programs 20 yrs ago, when my childhood, best friend decided to become clean. I supported her & went to AA & NA mtgs with her, sometimes we hit 3 meetings in a day. She substituted the program for the drugs & went after serenity with a vengence... ...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Okay, I have been feeling like a hypocrite. My husband is living with his parents. He has no responsibilities, no obligations. His every need is met. He has plenty of food, a comfortable bed, cable, they maintain his car and give him spending money. He does not work, and has nothing but excuses of why...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Order "We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93 Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is i...

sandy · sandy

Hi Everyone, You would think after living with an "A" for 38 years I would have this figured out but I really don't know why. I have always got mad and angry with my husband when he starts drinking and I'm the same way with my daughter. I talked to her yesterday morning she seemed okay, a little d...

Becca · Becca

I had a slip today and expressed terrible rage towards my spouse (the alcoholic) and I need to tell on myself and share. I have been in the program for about 2 1/2 years. I recently moved to a new area and there are not as many meetings near me that I'm used to attending. I have worked the...

mollyann · mollyann

Hi Everyone, I found this bit about resentment on the hazeldon.org site and thought I would share: Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person. They punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. Res...

bd · bd

Hi group When do we stop trying to help the A's in our life. Will I ever truly learn to let go? I always feel the need to extend my help and feel I'm turning my back it i don't. I understand the term detachment but can it really be achieved especially when an A is a parent. I keep st...

lilleah · lilleah

Hi all! I know I haven't written in awhile, but my A is pretty much on the computer constantly looking for a job. I hope everyone is doing well. I really need everyone right now. I am having terrible problems at work-which I won't go into, except to say it is harassment, and I am planning on speaking...

Powerless · Powerless

I really need views from my friends here. I spent the weekend at my parents about an hour away. We had a wonderful visit. They have offered to come down one day this week while my husband is at work and pack up the essentials and let me come live with them, rent-free until I can find a job...

Maria123 · Maria123

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kitty · kitty

I have been doing fairly well, the last few days... still trying to rest & not stress out too much, which is extremelely difficult for me, I stress about everything compulsively. I am sensitive & empathetic, I did healing work for over 10 years. The last 2 years, I have t...

marmare · marmare

The day started with a phone call from my girlfriend in FL, just checking up on me, we had a wonderful visit....... I probably am writing this for myself, but finding whatever it takes that makes it work is okay! I will finish my coffee this morning then off to run errands. I need to go to th...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

ive tried to work these steps but need more insight on these 2 im having so many problems with dealing with me ,ppl at my ftf meetings dont want to sponser dunno y but they dont,i guess or i feel like im at yalls mercy at this they seem to shy away from the steps 4 and 5 anyway,i can look at others problem...

hadit · hadit

First of all, thank you all who responded to my post from last night. I felt good when I wrote it and you all made me feel even better. I am going to try and keep up the good work. Now for the delima. My ex the "A" just called me about ten minutes ago. I still had not returned his calls from...

megan · megan

From Isabela: If you get a chance, give our friends at MIP my love and let them know I have not forogtten any of them and they are often in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending many good thoughts their way...for their health, happiness, and recovery. Isabela is working ver...

leo · leo

Hi I am hoping you guys can come up with a bit of advice here. To those of you who don't know I live in a small town and my husband lost his licence. Of course the bush telegraph was quick and everybody knew about it. For those who didn't know I chose to tell only the ones I wanted to a...

Mars · Mars

encouraged me to look for a site i could be a member of . As he was getting so much from the site he used. i was reading the post`s etc and just thinking of posting again . As now i can bore you rather than friends . i do not discuss my partner with my family anymore if i hear one more "end it ","he is n...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

this is the challenge of my life learning how to detach with love everytime

,but ive got to learn it somehow i read alot of alanon lit but not to much on detaching with love it so easy to fall back into those old famieler ways of detaching out of a...

kitty · kitty

Many of you already know my story but I have been under the wheather for a month now & I wasn't on the computer, in fact I was hardly doing anything but praying. I see a lot of new names & I am so happy to know more ppl are finding our safe haven for love, support, encouragement & growth. ...

chrissy · chrissy

AS YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND AND I SEPERATED LAST WEEK HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO MEETINGS AND DOING WELL. HE CALLED ME AFTER HIS MEETING AND SAID HE LOVED ME AND TO COME BY HIM HE WANTED TO TAKE ME & OUR DAUGHTER TO A CARNIVAL AND SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER. SO I SAID GREAT I TOLD MY DAUGHTER...

kitty · kitty

Posting helps so much but I feel I get even more out of the feedback... just to know you're understood, being too critical or wtvr, thank you so much, it really means a lot to me & I appreciate it more than I can express. I feel like you are my sane family!

princess433 · princess433

Hi. I just read your reply to one of my post. I am 13 years old and I was tooken away from my mom when I was 9. I, luckily, had my grandparents to take me in. I know what your granddaughter is feeling. It hurts alot to see someone you know hurt so bad, let alone hurting themself so bad. I think that the worst part f...

gardengal · gardengal

Is there anything that stands in the way of my trusting a HP? What obstacles block me from turning over my will to HP? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees, I hold out, thinking that I"ll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed again and again. The risk of f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

A New Pattern Of Living "We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have." Basic Text p. 75 Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to r...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I remember coming into the program not knowing what it was all about, other than it was for family and friends of alcoholics. I had no idea how it would help me, but had been told a few years prior by a co-worker how wonderful the program was and that it had helped her. She didn't go into detail...

Mars · Mars

well my partner has been dry for 5 weeks , which has been wonderfull but also scarey. i have dreams about him drinking and all that intails . the sulking , arguing, and the police that have been called by a neighbour or ambulance as he has hurt himself . when he is drunk he is a bloody nightmare...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

: Things are great one day, so-so the next in sobriety. Just when I have to Live and Let Live....I forget the LIVE part. That is, LIVE for me, MY LIFE. Wonder if I will ever get it down pat. Just beefin' and appreciate any feedback. &nb...

sg · sg

My A.'s drinking as estranged him from his two step children (12 and 14 yrs old) for a few years now. Neither one of them really have much to do w/him anymore. When he was drinking he was obnoxious and embarassing to them. When he wasn't drinking he was rough, gruff and angry at them. In particular my A. has...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Going backwards instead of forward..again (Preview) Can someone please explain to me why is it that everytime I start to make progress within myself, I slip and fall behind. Just the other day I did a similar thing, gave in but rectified it. Did for me instead of for him. I am trying to set some boundaries for myself towards my a. He and I as you pr...	hadit	8	584	Oct 11, 2005 by KathyS
	I talked to him (Preview) Well, his parents have now laid down the law. He called because his mother told him that was condition to staying there this week. He started by telling me that he hasn't thought about me all week, (I so much wanted to say that is because he was drunk and/or high, but I didn't) I stayed...	marmare	7	678	Oct 11, 2005 by hudsond
	LET"S STAY FOCUSED (Preview) As you can all plainly see, there is a member who is quite upset... well, very very upset. As we process this, lets remember why we are here. Take what you like, and leave the rest. Obviously he is hurting very bad, and when he processes this, we want it to be a place he is still welcome.&nbs...	captcodee	2	968	Oct 11, 2005 by sg
	Antidepressants and Progress with Program (Preview) Hi Everyone, I found Al Anon two months ago, and started attending meetings and working my program. I was also going to monthly therapy appointments. My dad was an alcoholic and died when I was very young. I started going to Al Anon meetings because my boyfriend of six months was a heavy drinker....	mollyann	3	655	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	HARD AT MAKING BOUNDARIES (Preview) I have a very hard time making boundaries. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and married for 14 months. He was sober for six months and now has gone back to drinking. We only have one car so when he decides to go out drinking I worry that something might happen like a DWI and I don't know if I want to g...	nycbt	3	563	Oct 11, 2005 by VioletScars
	obsessiveness (Preview) Just curious if anyone else has dealt w/their A becoming obsessive about certain things. For the 7 yrs I have been married to my A. he goes thru periods of obsession with certain things. It use to be HOURS upon HOURS playing computer games. Then it was things like remote control racecars,...	sg	7	1164	Oct 11, 2005 by canadianguy
	I feel a little better, thank you (Preview) Thank you to all who responded to Why do I get so angry. I feel a little better, I suppose I do, I feel more like crying instead of being mad. I have such mixed emotions, like everyone I suppose or we wouldn't be here. I printed the post 10 Guidelines from our HP. I'll have to study them or get them bea...	sandy	3	758	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	Time for a life change (Preview) Well I've decided that it is time for a necessary change! I talked to my husband of 20 years yesterday and he told me he has no plans on ever stopping drinking. He told me he knows I cannot handle his drinking. I have decided that if he still cannot see beyond his bottle.. and it does...	sandie123	6	855	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	7 times (it's short) (Preview) I have read that a human must hear something seven times before they are willing to even consider the idea. Not only does making lists help me to remember what I love about myself & life, I make up signs & stick them on the wall, to allow my mind to see positive affirmations or reminders over &am...	kitty	2	592	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	"To Wives" (and husbands) and "The Family Afterward" (Preview) Was reading in my husband's big book a while back and wasn't sure if all were framilar with the chapers that are addressed to us, the Alanoners..... There are 2 of them they are labeled "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward." "To Wives" was written when most of the time the alcoholic in the family w...	mastiff	8	7672	Oct 11, 2005 by mastiff
	I feel like I am deceiving him (Preview) I feel like I am deceiving him. He has asked me several times over the past few days if I am planning on leaving him. I told him no because I did not want to create a scene; especially in front of the children. He told me Saturday that his biggest fear is coming home from work one day to find out th...	Powerless	8	861	Oct 11, 2005 by captcodee
	Survived Week One (Preview) Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...	Ratchie	6	930	Oct 11, 2005 by nmike
	Feeling Better (Preview) Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...	bd	5	570	Oct 11, 2005 by pixel04
	unique but NEVER alone (Preview) Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was not to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...	rosie light shines	0	732	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	getting right with thy brother, even if he is a dung heap (Preview) Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...	rosie light shines	0	656	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Divorce Bulletin Board? (Preview) Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?	ditto	1	613	Oct 11, 2005 by KathyS
	What Does It Mean To "Work the Steps"? (Preview) I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...	BlueCloud	2	4753	Oct 11, 2005 by jj
	husband quit drinking and is moody. when will his end? (Preview) my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks	hannv	3	2797	Oct 11, 2005 by WakingUp
	ok i did stuff for me today but i also played detective (Preview) i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...	chrissy	4	897	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	Saw the Therapist today (Preview) I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...	ditto	4	796	Oct 11, 2005 by leo
	One year later (Preview) Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...	Karilynn	5	773	Oct 10, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Desiderata (Preview) The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...	Karilynn	2	958	Oct 10, 2005 by ajt62
	WOW!! big lesson surrender (Preview) Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...	rosie light shines	1	651	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Only have two days to make a major decision (Preview) I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...	Powerless	5	798	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Crying (Preview) Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...	Karilynn	2	887	Oct 10, 2005 by nmike
	Song Lyrics (Preview) Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...	Emmie11	0	506	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	this is an email from my deacon (Preview) I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...	chrissy	1	705	Oct 10, 2005 by Christy
	payoffs from bad relationships (Preview) Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...	rosie light shines	0	705	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
	bending with the wind (Preview) *Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday* Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...	rosie light shines	0	437	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Ten Guidelines from HP (Preview) Just received this from a friend and it really helped me remember all the things I forget to do when I am in a crisis...thought it might be helpful to others too. Please note: this is not Conference Approved. Ten Guidelines from Your Higher Power Effective immediately, pleas...	Emmie11	4	696	Oct 10, 2005 by notsonew1111
	freeing myself (Preview) I first came to the 12 step programs 20 yrs ago, when my childhood, best friend decided to become clean. I supported her & went to AA & NA mtgs with her, sometimes we hit 3 meetings in a day. She substituted the program for the drugs & went after serenity with a vengence... ...	kitty	4	547	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	Who's consequenses? (Preview) Okay, I have been feeling like a hypocrite. My husband is living with his parents. He has no responsibilities, no obligations. His every need is met. He has plenty of food, a comfortable bed, cable, they maintain his car and give him spending money. He does not work, and has nothing but excuses of why...	Jeannie	11	672	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	putting my house in order (Preview) Order "We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93 Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is i...	rosie light shines	2	755	Oct 9, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Why do I get so angry? (Preview) Hi Everyone, You would think after living with an "A" for 38 years I would have this figured out but I really don't know why. I have always got mad and angry with my husband when he starts drinking and I'm the same way with my daughter. I talked to her yesterday morning she seemed okay, a little d...	sandy	8	745	Oct 9, 2005 by Jeannie
	Raging again. I've slipped! (Preview) I had a slip today and expressed terrible rage towards my spouse (the alcoholic) and I need to tell on myself and share. I have been in the program for about 2 1/2 years. I recently moved to a new area and there are not as many meetings near me that I'm used to attending. I have worked the...	Becca	5	675	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	Resentments and New Beginnings (Preview) Hi Everyone, I found this bit about resentment on the hazeldon.org site and thought I would share: Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person. They punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. Res...	mollyann	6	801	Oct 9, 2005 by serenity
	When do we stop trying? (Preview) Hi group When do we stop trying to help the A's in our life. Will I ever truly learn to let go? I always feel the need to extend my help and feel I'm turning my back it i don't. I understand the term detachment but can it really be achieved especially when an A is a parent. I keep st...	bd	4	565	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	sad and hopeless (Preview) Hi all! I know I haven't written in awhile, but my A is pretty much on the computer constantly looking for a job. I hope everyone is doing well. I really need everyone right now. I am having terrible problems at work-which I won't go into, except to say it is harassment, and I am planning on speaking...	lilleah	4	578	Oct 9, 2005 by Earthmother
	Need a sounding board (Preview) I really need views from my friends here. I spent the weekend at my parents about an hour away. We had a wonderful visit. They have offered to come down one day this week while my husband is at work and pack up the essentials and let me come live with them, rent-free until I can find a job...	Powerless	2	787	Oct 9, 2005 by Karilynn
	Angels Among Us by Alabama (Preview) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------	Maria123	2	549	Oct 9, 2005 by Faith73
	emotionally some days r tougher than others (Preview) I have been doing fairly well, the last few days... still trying to rest & not stress out too much, which is extremelely difficult for me, I stress about everything compulsively. I am sensitive & empathetic, I did healing work for over 10 years. The last 2 years, I have t...	kitty	0	575	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	Big Plans (Preview) The day started with a phone call from my girlfriend in FL, just checking up on me, we had a wonderful visit....... I probably am writing this for myself, but finding whatever it takes that makes it work is okay! I will finish my coffee this morning then off to run errands. I need to go to th...	marmare	9	549	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	working the 4 and 5 steps (Preview) ive tried to work these steps but need more insight on these 2 im having so many problems with dealing with me ,ppl at my ftf meetings dont want to sponser dunno y but they dont,i guess or i feel like im at yalls mercy at this they seem to shy away from the steps 4 and 5 anyway,i can look at others problem...	pattyann1963	5	549	Oct 9, 2005 by Flora123
	Now what do I do (Preview) First of all, thank you all who responded to my post from last night. I felt good when I wrote it and you all made me feel even better. I am going to try and keep up the good work. Now for the delima. My ex the "A" just called me about ten minutes ago. I still had not returned his calls from...	hadit	5	650	Oct 9, 2005 by jj
	Update on Isabela (Preview) From Isabela: If you get a chance, give our friends at MIP my love and let them know I have not forogtten any of them and they are often in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending many good thoughts their way...for their health, happiness, and recovery. Isabela is working ver...	megan	2	648	Oct 9, 2005 by Flora123
	suggestions (Preview) Hi I am hoping you guys can come up with a bit of advice here. To those of you who don't know I live in a small town and my husband lost his licence. Of course the bush telegraph was quick and everybody knew about it. For those who didn't know I chose to tell only the ones I wanted to a...	leo	9	801	Oct 9, 2005 by leo
	my A partner (Preview) encouraged me to look for a site i could be a member of . As he was getting so much from the site he used. i was reading the post`s etc and just thinking of posting again . As now i can bore you rather than friends . i do not discuss my partner with my family anymore if i hear one more "end it ","he is n...	Mars	1	608	Oct 9, 2005 by lin0606
	Detachment (Preview) this is the challenge of my life learning how to detach with love everytime,but ive got to learn it somehow i read alot of alanon lit but not to much on detaching with love it so easy to fall back into those old famieler ways of detaching out of a...	pattyann1963	2	640	Oct 9, 2005 by lin0606
	respect & boundaires (Preview) Many of you already know my story but I have been under the wheather for a month now & I wasn't on the computer, in fact I was hardly doing anything but praying. I see a lot of new names & I am so happy to know more ppl are finding our safe haven for love, support, encouragement & growth. ...	kitty	3	677	Oct 9, 2005 by kitty
	HERE WE GO AGAIN (Preview) AS YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND AND I SEPERATED LAST WEEK HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO MEETINGS AND DOING WELL. HE CALLED ME AFTER HIS MEETING AND SAID HE LOVED ME AND TO COME BY HIM HE WANTED TO TAKE ME & OUR DAUGHTER TO A CARNIVAL AND SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER. SO I SAID GREAT I TOLD MY DAUGHTER...	chrissy	10	763	Oct 8, 2005 by marmare
	thanks for the feedback (Preview) Posting helps so much but I feel I get even more out of the feedback... just to know you're understood, being too critical or wtvr, thank you so much, it really means a lot to me & I appreciate it more than I can express. I feel like you are my sane family!	kitty	0	469	Oct 8, 2005 by kitty
	Sandy.... (Preview) Hi. I just read your reply to one of my post. I am 13 years old and I was tooken away from my mom when I was 9. I, luckily, had my grandparents to take me in. I know what your granddaughter is feeling. It hurts alot to see someone you know hurt so bad, let alone hurting themself so bad. I think that the worst part f...	princess433	2	696	Oct 8, 2005 by sandy
	TRYING TO CONTROL? (Preview) Is there anything that stands in the way of my trusting a HP? What obstacles block me from turning over my will to HP? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees, I hold out, thinking that I"ll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed again and again. The risk of f...	gardengal	4	541	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	addiction and envy (Preview) *There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich* No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....	rosie light shines	0	465	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	i want to keep what i got (Preview) A New Pattern Of Living "We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have." Basic Text p. 75 Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to r...	rosie light shines	0	575	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	freeing me from addiction and envy (Preview) *There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich* No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness....	rosie light shines	0	438	Oct 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	The "He He He's/She She She's" (Preview) I remember coming into the program not knowing what it was all about, other than it was for family and friends of alcoholics. I had no idea how it would help me, but had been told a few years prior by a co-worker how wonderful the program was and that it had helped her. She didn't go into detail...	kismetstrand	9	1576	Oct 8, 2005 by Mars
	hi to you all (Preview) well my partner has been dry for 5 weeks , which has been wonderfull but also scarey. i have dreams about him drinking and all that intails . the sulking , arguing, and the police that have been called by a neighbour or ambulance as he has hurt himself . when he is drunk he is a bloody nightmare...	Mars	5	632	Oct 8, 2005 by Mars
	Tough moments....forgetting "LIVE" (Preview) : Things are great one day, so-so the next in sobriety. Just when I have to Live and Let Live....I forget the LIVE part. That is, LIVE for me, MY LIFE. Wonder if I will ever get it down pat. Just beefin' and appreciate any feedback. &nb...	wallsal55	3	787	Oct 8, 2005 by kitty
	Recovery is painful to watch at times (Preview) My A.'s drinking as estranged him from his two step children (12 and 14 yrs old) for a few years now. Neither one of them really have much to do w/him anymore. When he was drinking he was obnoxious and embarassing to them. When he wasn't drinking he was rough, gruff and angry at them. In particular my A. has...	sg	3	569	Oct 8, 2005 by canadianguy
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