Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

If you would indulge me I need to tell my story to someone. It is not particularly bad, and is a bed of roses compared with the stories some people post on these forums, but I am miserable a good deal of the time. I am not looking for answers because I know none exist, just the knowledge that someone, somew...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys im currently sitting on my bed...its 11:40 at night and i have been crying for the past half hour. still no word from the ex... and im still worried... i cant seem to detach.... i cant seem to lt go and let HP.... what im feeeling is fear... fear for him..wondering where he is and if he's o.k and a...

sld488 · sld488

trying to detach myself from myself for the moment and need a clear view of situation. My A/bf(5 yrs) and teenage son had big fuss. A was getting on to son about not doing his chores and son started mouthing back. Out of anger, A told me to get son out of the house. Son and I left...

babysteps · babysteps

My neighbor and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last December. She is 42 years old and has a 5 year old son. Her prognosis is less than 5 years full of chemo and illness. I just talked to my brother. He got a new job in a new town this past February. He put his house up for sale but it has not...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have spent some time reading my old posts. Back 5 months ago when I first came here I was full of emotion (mostly anger and fear). My emotions were bouncing all over the place and I was so happy for that 1 hour a week that I could feel calm. It was during my new found...

doxie · doxie

ok, first off, I know it is my choice to stay....but ......I AM SO SICK OF our money problems being all my fault, being put last all the time, my opinion not mattering, not being listened to, words being twisted around, being threatened with divorce, being alone, being lonely, feeling threat...

renah · renah

All, I am just joining this group but am not new to program. I feel like I am new to the steps because I can't seem to not get angry. I had one success so far of keeping my anger to myself by attending an on-line meeting, reading my literature, writing, and reading the posts.&n...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

Hi, Everyone. I need opinions, or esh, or validation or something, please. I am having serious doubts about my own ability to recover. I'll try to make this brief and coherent. My children are 13 and 11. I feel as if I've been single parenting them all these years because my A hu...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hub and I have gotten along fairly well since the blow up last Mon. night. Then it starts all over last night. Out of the blue. I thought we were getting along pretty good, then he starts in on me because I have too much stuff in the cupboard over the stove. Threatens to throw all...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

((((hello friends)))) Don't know if any of you have THIS problem but I have become aware of an annoying ( to my AH) habit I have.I am always telling him what to do! He has told me I am "a bossy female" and I just never saw myself that way.Now it's like my eyes are open and every time I do it,I see it now.I can't...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I dont know that I know what to say right now, i guess I was just hoping for someone to share with me how i could apply the program to a situation like this. My parents have managed to stay together for the last 30 years, minus a few months. I just got a call from my mom last night who...

sandie123 · sandie123

I see all the good things in the program and feel the helpfullness of the steps. I have come a long way and know I have a LOOOOOONG way to go. In every day situations I am constantly hearing words I have learned to help deal with things better. Don't take me wrong.... they are good words... words that work. T...

omajoy · omajoy

I have just had the most shameful meltdown you can imagine. I spent the day caring for the one year old grandbaby. I have no time to call my own, so I was tired. When my son came by for his "supervised" visit, he asked me for help with some paperwork and some computer work. That started my downslide. Then the...

signseeker · signseeker

Hi everyone! I am trying to read through things posted but I wanted to ask you a few things. My husband of 6 years is an Alcoholic. He has his own business and the drinking started about 1 yr into the business. We had a 1 year old (now 5) at the time and decided I would stay home with him. I also have a 15 yr...

mysticmidian · mysticmidian

I talked to my husband last night for the first time in 6 days. We are going to go to marriage counseling on Thursday. We have gone to my pastor once before and things went better for about a week and a half before going back to normal. Plus he likes to have these huge blow ups and then pre...

AlaMom · AlaMom

My husband and I are talking about a reconciliation after 5 weeks of being seperated due to a relapse. I have set very clear boundries for myself and have been keeping them with him. These boundries are working very well and I am pleased with myself. My husband has been attending me...

rtexas · rtexas

(((All))) I have read some posts recently about longing for affection from your A. I of course... LOL see it from the other side. My AW says she is starved for attention, affection and romance. Well, in a way I see her point. We have so few days that are civil. I am doing som...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone - Thanks so much for all of your wisdom here. I have learned so much. I wish I had a computer at home so I could attend meetings and chat. Just have to sneak a little at work and post sometimes. I just wanted to vent about how this roller coaster continues. You nev...

debilyn · debilyn

Gads just got a letter from A. I saw him last week end. I did not "get" what he was telling me. Not sure if I updated on this? i was shaking really bad when I went to see him. I hate jail. He says,"you are really shaking!" I said,"that is why I don't do anything wrong! Remember I would not let you...

annmarie · annmarie

I've just finished reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. I know it has been recommended on these postings, and will have been read by many members. I found it very beneficial and thought provoking. It certainly gave me a better understanding of A oand of myself. I am in the early stage of...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys my ex boyf.. (the A) was in contact briefly for the past number of weeks... he had got a place to stay, got a new job earning good money and seemed happy-ish... the one thing he kept saying he wanted was ....ME! i told him no... that i cudnt go throu all that shit again..and we were better off rema...

lmt123 · lmt123

This may be a silly question on my part, but does anyone have any experience in using EPH200, an herbal version of ephedrine used for weight control? My daughter ordered some off the internet (she's 18), and I'm afraid she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. I've always heard t...

ollie · ollie

Hi everone, Just need to let it all out,this seemed like a good place. Well my a was here on saturday as usual,(comes to see new grandson)and as usual he was asking for another chance and to let him back home,i come first and all that crap. Well on tuesday it was our anniversary,not a thing of him ,no...

krise · krise

Are there any good books out there about the alcoholic in recovery . . . how this affects the marital relationship? Also, I'm looking for Blueprints book (4th step guide), but Amazon doesn't have it in stock . .. any suggestions? THanks :)

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

-- Edited by JulieLynn at 08:13, 2006-07-27

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Lets see Saturday I worked 8pm to 8am. I paid a neighbor to take me and pick me up or so I thought. Sunday morning I waited until 9:30 no ride. I started to walk. I could not call because lightening killed the phone. I walked about 2 miles to a bridge. I surprised myself on how fast I was able to walk. I sa...

annmarie · annmarie

My Aboyfriend went off drinking and taking drugs for the last five days. He just disappeared. I'm getting better myself now, and don't give my energy away to worrying about him....as best I can. A friend of his told me he's taking drugs (I wouldn't have known this, I was shocked!), and also that he's b...

allison · allison

A husband has been calling me for the past 3 weeks...saying he goes to AA every day..he`s sober...blah blah blah Well I decide to let him come over and see me and the kids.He has no vehicle because he totaled it 3 weeks ago.I was going to go pick him up when I got out of work last night.he starts calling me aro...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

How in the world do you find balance between the 2 programs??? I am taught to really go to bat, as it were, for my fellow alcoholic who is WILLINGLY in recovery... Balancing the responsibility I have as an alcoholic, of carrying the message, along with things like "Letting Go" of a lot of folk...

newyearsgirl · newyearsgirl

hello, This is my first time posting and anyone that could provide helpful words would be much appreciated. I don't know all the abbreviations and everything yet, so please help me out with those. My boyfriend of 6 years, who I believed to an alcoholic, died last week when he hit his hea...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have looked through every Al-Anon book I have and still haven't found it. It is the confidentiality saying that goes something like Who you see here What you hear here Stays here Is there more to it. Driving me nutz I should know this by heart.

smpoli · smpoli

Howdy all. I am not sure really what to say...well I do, just not sure how to say it I guess. I took Bryon in for his chemo today and I got to talking w/the doc about him after treatment is over. If I calculated it right, it looks like he has about 22 more weeks of consecutive treatment.&n...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello! Today marks 8 days since husband has had a drink of vodka. Yes, I had everything to do with it as I told him how much I hate it when he drinks. So he quit...cold turkey. He does have a few (maybe 3-4) at night, but that does not make him mean or even drunk like when he drank vod...

lebe27 · lebe27

A stopped drinking again over the weekend but too late to correct his latest financial escapades. Seems he wrote a check for $152.00 to the place fixing his ATV last week and didn't tell me about it. That check plus other pos spending he did on his bank card all hit yesterday....

purpleraven · purpleraven

i kind of sort of understand how an alcoholic gets a sponsor in AA. the notion of having one in Al-Anon, i'd never heard of it before i came here. my local Al-Anon is inactive right now, someone told me a few of the old members go to CoDA but i can't make the meeting that one night of the week. how does one get a s...

endoftherope · endoftherope

I have not posted here in a while but I just want to know if anyone here has experienced a happy ending living with an alcoholic? Does this nonsense ever end and you get back the person you married?? I'm so tired of the fighting, the resentment, and the broken promises....I honestly can't even stand be...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I am almost due to leave. one more day then wednesday at noon. It looks like it might rain my whole vacation that is ok, I am going to see people not the sites. I will be without the computer till august 1. I wanted to share this email with my alanon family. hmm pictu...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) I'm nervous now. It's the final day, the first people look at the house tomorrow at 430. I did not get everything done of course cause I was trying to fit 2 years worth of stuff into one month along with the depression and other feelings that are all bundled up in this divorce. It is...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I posted this on the AA side, and was wondering if anyone has ESH on this. I shared about this in a meeting and was doing well, but that sh***y committee is going off and I am hot and miserable at work and can't get them to shut up. I have a question, and I am stuggling for words, w...

Diva · Diva

Thanks for the support and good birthday wishes. Diva - who is 39 again today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kerry5 · kerry5

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficu...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) Working Working Working Garage is cleaned out ... no small task ... seems I am a packrat and my A is a slob

One large trailer, one strong brother, one sweeping mother, and one father who looked in every box (I now know where i absorbed the packrat thing from) one m...

krise · krise

I am currently separated from my AH who is in recovery. We have been separated about 5 months now. He said he's filing for divorce, but I haven't heard anything for a month . . . no response to my e-mails or phone calls. I think I have gone from being angry and accusing to him, to pathe...

Miranda · Miranda

ok so i'm not sure if its ok to say this, but i just won't use names there is a room moderator that has become very rude i'm not sure if i offended them in some way or wat, but everytime i say something, they either question it, act like i'm lying, or say i'm being innapropriate while i'm telling st...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning (((All))) and most especially ((Debilyn)) this morning, I was thinking of you the whole time I was crawling around in a slant ceiling attic cubby. You see my cats found a cushion left by previous owner and decided to burrow into it, puffs of foam everywhere. Easy answer right? just shop...

beachbaby · beachbaby

((((Hi Everyone))) hope all is welll and a good weekend is being had by all. As some of you know, I have been struggling with whether I am or am not an alcoholic. Well, I know in my heart and soul I am. I went to an AA meeting last night and said, my name is G and I am an alcoholic. Wow, the words just...

debilyn · debilyn

The dogs next door, great dogs, run to the fence to watch. Then alll of mine run over there and they begin a barking war that you would think someone is getting torn apart. If you open the gate they are allll wiggling idiots. ??? territory I guess. I lift and empty the pools and put the hose in. oh...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK. I am lonely. I have tons of friends, a family who loves me. But, the one man in my whole life that I've wanted the most, is so distant to me. I know in my head that it's the alcohol. But, my body craves him holding me, holding my hand, brushing my hair back from my eyes, th...

Rita G · Rita G

I went to an Al-Anon convention this weekend - was not as great as I expected, but my fault for having an expectation . . . Anyway, I did hear two things that I had not heard in recovery that I really liked - wanted to share - hope they help you as much as they helped me . . . 1. Religion is for pe...

Annie · Annie

Hi, all--I know I haven't been here for awhile (two jobs now), but I would like to hear how many of you how handle this situation. My A goes to the bar just about every day now--he was self employed and has just about stopped all activity regarding work. He has a small pension and took early...

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, My bf is in early recovery and I see one huge problem rising and it will have impact on both our recoveries. I’m not been heard by him, even he thinks he is listening. When he was drinking, I was trying to tell him a little bit about myself and about my past. He doesn’t remember...

daisy2 · daisy2

I had hard thought about myself and maybe over reacting myself. It was selfish think to say no to such a small think. I set high standard to future father of my kids, that’s maybe the problem. We are talking about starting family in future and I watch him closely how is he with his daughter. I shouldn’t be s...

maire rua · maire rua

Yesterday evening my ex A and I discussed in a reasonable manner the way we were going to transport our son to Irish summer camp. The distance is negligible for many living in other countries but it is over a bank holiday august weekend and over hellish terrain. I wanted us to share the driving, I could dr...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm afraid to get too excited, i don't want to jinx myself ... but my A and i had a breakthrough this weekend and i honestly think it's because i started Al-Anon!!! he was pissy about it at first, and pumping me for info, it was like he didn't want me to be in recovery. it was frustrating and i wanted to just gi...

mysticmidian · mysticmidian

Ok, so my A has never been an active drinker as long as I've known him but from a lot of the posts that I've read, it seems like a lot of the behaviors are the same whether he drinks or not. Behaviors such as he is right and I am wrong all the time, controlling things (i.e. telling me...

findingmyway · findingmyway

Have you ever found yourself in that really dark, scary place? I'm so sad and just can't shake it. Everyone has bad days and I know I've had more than my share since January, but I'm finding myself in so deep I can't find my way back. The divorce is dragging and becoming increasingly nasty. I know that's pa...

Diva · Diva

I have felt so much better this evening, thanks to the support of all of you. Thank you. THANK YOU!!! Look out. The old Diva is back in full swing... Tomorrow is my birthday, and the A got me a pair of cockatiels. I have never had birds before, although I devote a lot of time to caring for the wild ones in t...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I was on vacation, had a great one until flight back, it took 24 hours, for 1000 miles. Long story, but the stress of it all has left me in a hypertentive crisis and numb on my complete left side, so I am ordered to bed until resolved. Or until I get a hold of one of my regular doctors. I have mis...

maire rua · maire rua

Today, for the first time since I remember I stood up for myself when treated in a shabby way. I feel nervous, and have a knot in my stomach as I sent my response by email and said what I meant in an honest way. Will this get easier in time? Sometimes I feel like such an imposter.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Married to active A long time??? (Preview) Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...	hersh	5	598	Jul 27, 2006 by RichardA
	Newcomer to the forum...old stories (Preview) If you would indulge me I need to tell my story to someone. It is not particularly bad, and is a bed of roses compared with the stories some people post on these forums, but I am miserable a good deal of the time. I am not looking for answers because I know none exist, just the knowledge that someone, somew...	Mike5056	11	697	Jul 27, 2006 by drucilla06
	still no word.. (Preview) hi guys im currently sitting on my bed...its 11:40 at night and i have been crying for the past half hour. still no word from the ex... and im still worried... i cant seem to detach.... i cant seem to lt go and let HP.... what im feeeling is fear... fear for him..wondering where he is and if he's o.k and a...	Rebecca	6	497	Jul 27, 2006 by notsonew1111
	need 20/20 vision (Preview) trying to detach myself from myself for the moment and need a clear view of situation. My A/bf(5 yrs) and teenage son had big fuss. A was getting on to son about not doing his chores and son started mouthing back. Out of anger, A told me to get son out of the house. Son and I left...	sld488	7	761	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	Counting my Blessings (Preview) My neighbor and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last December. She is 42 years old and has a 5 year old son. Her prognosis is less than 5 years full of chemo and illness. I just talked to my brother. He got a new job in a new town this past February. He put his house up for sale but it has not...	babysteps	2	401	Jul 27, 2006 by hersh
	Program game face is cold to the A (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have spent some time reading my old posts. Back 5 months ago when I first came here I was full of emotion (mostly anger and fear). My emotions were bouncing all over the place and I was so happy for that 1 hour a week that I could feel calm. It was during my new found...	rtexas	6	406	Jul 27, 2006 by twinmom2
	SICKSICKSICKSICK (Preview) ok, first off, I know it is my choice to stay....but ......I AM SO SICK OF our money problems being all my fault, being put last all the time, my opinion not mattering, not being listened to, words being twisted around, being threatened with divorce, being alone, being lonely, feeling threat...	doxie	8	815	Jul 27, 2006 by Andrea12
	Anger Again (Preview) All, I am just joining this group but am not new to program. I feel like I am new to the steps because I can't seem to not get angry. I had one success so far of keeping my anger to myself by attending an on-line meeting, reading my literature, writing, and reading the posts.&n...	renah	4	609	Jul 27, 2006 by canadianguy
	Disliking Myself (Preview) Hi, Everyone. I need opinions, or esh, or validation or something, please. I am having serious doubts about my own ability to recover. I'll try to make this brief and coherent. My children are 13 and 11. I feel as if I've been single parenting them all these years because my A hu...	CoffeeBean3	5	680	Jul 27, 2006 by CoffeeBean3
	The Insanity Continues (Preview) Hub and I have gotten along fairly well since the blow up last Mon. night. Then it starts all over last night. Out of the blue. I thought we were getting along pretty good, then he starts in on me because I have too much stuff in the cupboard over the stove. Threatens to throw all...	Becky1	7	740	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Geez! Why can't I just shut my big mouth! (Preview) ((((hello friends)))) Don't know if any of you have THIS problem but I have become aware of an annoying ( to my AH) habit I have.I am always telling him what to do! He has told me I am "a bossy female" and I just never saw myself that way.Now it's like my eyes are open and every time I do it,I see it now.I can't...	drucilla06	9	536	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	my parents are divorcing after almost 30 years (Preview) Hi all, I dont know that I know what to say right now, i guess I was just hoping for someone to share with me how i could apply the program to a situation like this. My parents have managed to stay together for the last 30 years, minus a few months. I just got a call from my mom last night who...	mastiff	9	506	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Is there a way??? Is this normal??? (Preview) I see all the good things in the program and feel the helpfullness of the steps. I have come a long way and know I have a LOOOOOONG way to go. In every day situations I am constantly hearing words I have learned to help deal with things better. Don't take me wrong.... they are good words... words that work. T...	sandie123	8	637	Jul 27, 2006 by sandie123
	shameful meltdown (Preview) I have just had the most shameful meltdown you can imagine. I spent the day caring for the one year old grandbaby. I have no time to call my own, so I was tired. When my son came by for his "supervised" visit, he asked me for help with some paperwork and some computer work. That started my downslide. Then the...	omajoy	5	450	Jul 27, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	New to Al-Anon Questions (Preview) Hi everyone! I am trying to read through things posted but I wanted to ask you a few things. My husband of 6 years is an Alcoholic. He has his own business and the drinking started about 1 yr into the business. We had a 1 year old (now 5) at the time and decided I would stay home with him. I also have a 15 yr...	signseeker	6	743	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	Marriage Counseling (Preview) I talked to my husband last night for the first time in 6 days. We are going to go to marriage counseling on Thursday. We have gone to my pastor once before and things went better for about a week and a half before going back to normal. Plus he likes to have these huge blow ups and then pre...	mysticmidian	4	728	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	What rights do I have? (Preview) My husband and I are talking about a reconciliation after 5 weeks of being seperated due to a relapse. I have set very clear boundries for myself and have been keeping them with him. These boundries are working very well and I am pleased with myself. My husband has been attending me...	AlaMom	11	733	Jul 26, 2006 by Ria
	Affection shoe on the other foot... (Preview) (((All))) I have read some posts recently about longing for affection from your A. I of course... LOL see it from the other side. My AW says she is starved for attention, affection and romance. Well, in a way I see her point. We have so few days that are civil. I am doing som...	rtexas	5	616	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	Never know what to expect... (Preview) Hi everyone - Thanks so much for all of your wisdom here. I have learned so much. I wish I had a computer at home so I could attend meetings and chat. Just have to sneak a little at work and post sometimes. I just wanted to vent about how this roller coaster continues. You nev...	hersh	2	613	Jul 26, 2006 by hersh
	Meeting a new man/update (Preview) Gads just got a letter from A. I saw him last week end. I did not "get" what he was telling me. Not sure if I updated on this? i was shaking really bad when I went to see him. I hate jail. He says,"you are really shaking!" I said,"that is why I don't do anything wrong! Remember I would not let you...	debilyn	7	666	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	"Getting Them Sober" (Preview) I've just finished reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. I know it has been recommended on these postings, and will have been read by many members. I found it very beneficial and thought provoking. It certainly gave me a better understanding of A oand of myself. I am in the early stage of...	annmarie	5	915	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	worried and stressed! (Preview) hi guys my ex boyf.. (the A) was in contact briefly for the past number of weeks... he had got a place to stay, got a new job earning good money and seemed happy-ish... the one thing he kept saying he wanted was ....ME! i told him no... that i cudnt go throu all that shit again..and we were better off rema...	Rebecca	4	674	Jul 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	silly question... (Preview) This may be a silly question on my part, but does anyone have any experience in using EPH200, an herbal version of ephedrine used for weight control? My daughter ordered some off the internet (she's 18), and I'm afraid she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. I've always heard t...	lmt123	7	714	Jul 26, 2006 by Anita
	letting of steam (Preview) Hi everone, Just need to let it all out,this seemed like a good place. Well my a was here on saturday as usual,(comes to see new grandson)and as usual he was asking for another chance and to let him back home,i come first and all that crap. Well on tuesday it was our anniversary,not a thing of him ,no...	ollie	4	593	Jul 26, 2006 by bubbles1990
	Book SEarch (Preview) Are there any good books out there about the alcoholic in recovery . . . how this affects the marital relationship? Also, I'm looking for Blueprints book (4th step guide), but Amazon doesn't have it in stock . .. any suggestions? THanks :)	krise	3	477	Jul 26, 2006 by hersh
	Just Need To Vent (Preview) -- Edited by JulieLynn at 08:13, 2006-07-27	JulieLynn	1	551	Jul 26, 2006 by rtexas
	My HP is giving me so much to laugh at........ (Preview) Lets see Saturday I worked 8pm to 8am. I paid a neighbor to take me and pick me up or so I thought. Sunday morning I waited until 9:30 no ride. I started to walk. I could not call because lightening killed the phone. I walked about 2 miles to a bridge. I surprised myself on how fast I was able to walk. I sa...	hmrnrnmm	2	699	Jul 26, 2006 by jonibaloni
	don't want to go home today (Preview) My Aboyfriend went off drinking and taking drugs for the last five days. He just disappeared. I'm getting better myself now, and don't give my energy away to worrying about him....as best I can. A friend of his told me he's taking drugs (I wouldn't have known this, I was shocked!), and also that he's b...	annmarie	7	848	Jul 26, 2006 by annmarie
	just venting (Preview) A husband has been calling me for the past 3 weeks...saying he goes to AA every day..he`s sober...blah blah blah Well I decide to let him come over and see me and the kids.He has no vehicle because he totaled it 3 weeks ago.I was going to go pick him up when I got out of work last night.he starts calling me aro...	allison	3	716	Jul 26, 2006 by RamzDear
	Question for DOUBLE-WINNERS (Preview) How in the world do you find balance between the 2 programs??? I am taught to really go to bat, as it were, for my fellow alcoholic who is WILLINGLY in recovery... Balancing the responsibility I have as an alcoholic, of carrying the message, along with things like "Letting Go" of a lot of folk...	jonibaloni	4	652	Jul 26, 2006 by jonibaloni
	My boyfriend of 6 years just died, I don't know what to do (Preview) hello, This is my first time posting and anyone that could provide helpful words would be much appreciated. I don't know all the abbreviations and everything yet, so please help me out with those. My boyfriend of 6 years, who I believed to an alcoholic, died last week when he hit his hea...	newyearsgirl	11	904	Jul 25, 2006 by tiredtonite
	What is correct wording (Preview) I have looked through every Al-Anon book I have and still haven't found it. It is the confidentiality saying that goes something like Who you see here What you hear here Stays here Is there more to it. Driving me nutz I should know this by heart.	Mobirdie	11	1590	Jul 25, 2006 by Mobirdie
	A bit of a twist! (Preview) Howdy all. I am not sure really what to say...well I do, just not sure how to say it I guess. I took Bryon in for his chemo today and I got to talking w/the doc about him after treatment is over. If I calculated it right, it looks like he has about 22 more weeks of consecutive treatment.&n...	smpoli	4	594	Jul 25, 2006 by sandie123
	Not sure how to feel (Preview) Hello! Today marks 8 days since husband has had a drink of vodka. Yes, I had everything to do with it as I told him how much I hate it when he drinks. So he quit...cold turkey. He does have a few (maybe 3-4) at night, but that does not make him mean or even drunk like when he drank vod...	desperate for help	4	742	Jul 25, 2006 by debilyn
	Really pissed (Preview) A stopped drinking again over the weekend but too late to correct his latest financial escapades. Seems he wrote a check for $152.00 to the place fixing his ATV last week and didn't tell me about it. That check plus other pos spending he did on his bank card all hit yesterday....	lebe27	6	932	Jul 25, 2006 by debilyn
	how do you get a sponsor? (Preview) i kind of sort of understand how an alcoholic gets a sponsor in AA. the notion of having one in Al-Anon, i'd never heard of it before i came here. my local Al-Anon is inactive right now, someone told me a few of the old members go to CoDA but i can't make the meeting that one night of the week. how does one get a s...	purpleraven	2	737	Jul 25, 2006 by tiredtonite
	Need to vent (Preview) I have not posted here in a while but I just want to know if anyone here has experienced a happy ending living with an alcoholic? Does this nonsense ever end and you get back the person you married?? I'm so tired of the fighting, the resentment, and the broken promises....I honestly can't even stand be...	endoftherope	3	687	Jul 25, 2006 by canadianguy
	the whale (the message at the end is so true) (Preview) I am almost due to leave. one more day then wednesday at noon. It looks like it might rain my whole vacation that is ok, I am going to see people not the sites. I will be without the computer till august 1. I wanted to share this email with my alanon family. hmm pictu...	hmrnrnmm	1	509	Jul 25, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Getting nervous (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) I'm nervous now. It's the final day, the first people look at the house tomorrow at 430. I did not get everything done of course cause I was trying to fit 2 years worth of stuff into one month along with the depression and other feelings that are all bundled up in this divorce. It is...	Jennifer	5	574	Jul 25, 2006 by just me
	Scared of Husband's Sponsor (Preview) Hi all, I posted this on the AA side, and was wondering if anyone has ESH on this. I shared about this in a meeting and was doing well, but that sh***y committee is going off and I am hot and miserable at work and can't get them to shut up. I have a question, and I am stuggling for words, w...	Dolphin123	12	1036	Jul 25, 2006 by Rita G
	You people are so fine... (Preview) Thanks for the support and good birthday wishes. Diva - who is 39 again today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Diva	6	508	Jul 25, 2006 by annmarie
	Reason Season Or a Lifetime (Preview) People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficu...	kerry5	4	480	Jul 24, 2006 by Ria
	Working Working Working (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) Working Working Working Garage is cleaned out ... no small task ... seems I am a packrat and my A is a slob One large trailer, one strong brother, one sweeping mother, and one father who looked in every box (I now know where i absorbed the packrat thing from) one m...	Jennifer	7	609	Jul 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	separated (Preview) I am currently separated from my AH who is in recovery. We have been separated about 5 months now. He said he's filing for divorce, but I haven't heard anything for a month . . . no response to my e-mails or phone calls. I think I have gone from being angry and accusing to him, to pathe...	krise	4	503	Jul 24, 2006 by JamesUK
	room moderator (Preview) ok so i'm not sure if its ok to say this, but i just won't use names there is a room moderator that has become very rude i'm not sure if i offended them in some way or wat, but everytime i say something, they either question it, act like i'm lying, or say i'm being innapropriate while i'm telling st...	Miranda	3	749	Jul 24, 2006 by Miranda
	A morning Debilyn will appreciate (Preview) Good Morning (((All))) and most especially ((Debilyn)) this morning, I was thinking of you the whole time I was crawling around in a slant ceiling attic cubby. You see my cats found a cushion left by previous owner and decided to burrow into it, puffs of foam everywhere. Easy answer right? just shop...	Jennifer	5	673	Jul 24, 2006 by debilyn
	Update (Preview) ((((Hi Everyone))) hope all is welll and a good weekend is being had by all. As some of you know, I have been struggling with whether I am or am not an alcoholic. Well, I know in my heart and soul I am. I went to an AA meeting last night and said, my name is G and I am an alcoholic. Wow, the words just...	beachbaby	7	676	Jul 24, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Eden part two (Preview) The dogs next door, great dogs, run to the fence to watch. Then alll of mine run over there and they begin a barking war that you would think someone is getting torn apart. If you open the gate they are allll wiggling idiots. ??? territory I guess. I lift and empty the pools and put the hose in. oh...	debilyn	2	511	Jul 24, 2006 by TLC2
	Loneliness of a Different Sort (Adult in Nature) (Preview) OK. I am lonely. I have tons of friends, a family who loves me. But, the one man in my whole life that I've wanted the most, is so distant to me. I know in my head that it's the alcohol. But, my body craves him holding me, holding my hand, brushing my hair back from my eyes, th...	Becky1	11	896	Jul 24, 2006 by Becky1
	Convention (Preview) I went to an Al-Anon convention this weekend - was not as great as I expected, but my fault for having an expectation . . . Anyway, I did hear two things that I had not heard in recovery that I really liked - wanted to share - hope they help you as much as they helped me . . . 1. Religion is for pe...	Rita G	2	671	Jul 24, 2006 by Rita G
	$$$ (Preview) Hi, all--I know I haven't been here for awhile (two jobs now), but I would like to hear how many of you how handle this situation. My A goes to the bar just about every day now--he was self employed and has just about stopped all activity regarding work. He has a small pension and took early...	Annie	11	933	Jul 24, 2006 by lin0606
	Not been heard- long and confusing (Preview) Hi all, My bf is in early recovery and I see one huge problem rising and it will have impact on both our recoveries. I’m not been heard by him, even he thinks he is listening. When he was drinking, I was trying to tell him a little bit about myself and about my past. He doesn’t remember...	daisy2	3	682	Jul 24, 2006 by daisy2
	Not been heard part 2 (Preview) I had hard thought about myself and maybe over reacting myself. It was selfish think to say no to such a small think. I set high standard to future father of my kids, that’s maybe the problem. We are talking about starting family in future and I watch him closely how is he with his daughter. I shouldn’t be s...	daisy2	8	736	Jul 24, 2006 by daisy2
	simple things made complicated (Preview) Yesterday evening my ex A and I discussed in a reasonable manner the way we were going to transport our son to Irish summer camp. The distance is negligible for many living in other countries but it is over a bank holiday august weekend and over hellish terrain. I wanted us to share the driving, I could dr...	maire rua	4	781	Jul 24, 2006 by jonibaloni
	it's already working! (Preview) i'm afraid to get too excited, i don't want to jinx myself ... but my A and i had a breakthrough this weekend and i honestly think it's because i started Al-Anon!!! he was pissy about it at first, and pumping me for info, it was like he didn't want me to be in recovery. it was frustrating and i wanted to just gi...	purpleraven	5	685	Jul 24, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Just deal with it? (Preview) Ok, so my A has never been an active drinker as long as I've known him but from a lot of the posts that I've read, it seems like a lot of the behaviors are the same whether he drinks or not. Behaviors such as he is right and I am wrong all the time, controlling things (i.e. telling me...	mysticmidian	7	692	Jul 24, 2006 by niperonline
	Could use some support (Preview) Have you ever found yourself in that really dark, scary place? I'm so sad and just can't shake it. Everyone has bad days and I know I've had more than my share since January, but I'm finding myself in so deep I can't find my way back. The divorce is dragging and becoming increasingly nasty. I know that's pa...	findingmyway	8	772	Jul 24, 2006 by findingmyway
	Out of the doldrums!!! (Preview) I have felt so much better this evening, thanks to the support of all of you. Thank you. THANK YOU!!! Look out. The old Diva is back in full swing... Tomorrow is my birthday, and the A got me a pair of cockatiels. I have never had birds before, although I devote a lot of time to caring for the wild ones in t...	Diva	12	759	Jul 24, 2006 by chris52
	Finally back!! Not avoiding you all (Preview) I was on vacation, had a great one until flight back, it took 24 hours, for 1000 miles. Long story, but the stress of it all has left me in a hypertentive crisis and numb on my complete left side, so I am ordered to bed until resolved. Or until I get a hold of one of my regular doctors. I have mis...	jrtjosey	10	696	Jul 24, 2006 by chris52
	confrontation on bad treatment (Preview) Today, for the first time since I remember I stood up for myself when treated in a shabby way. I feel nervous, and have a knot in my stomach as I sent my response by email and said what I meant in an honest way. Will this get easier in time? Sometimes I feel like such an imposter.	maire rua	6	468	Jul 24, 2006 by annmarie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.