The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time on the board. My husband is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. He hasn't worked in about 3 years because of health problems, some relating to his drinking. Though he won't admit he drinks, he's constantly talking about how he probably won't be around in 3 or 4 years because of his health. Every evening he stumbles around and talks in a voice like he's 80 instead of 56. I think part of it's just an act because he knows it annoys me.
I"ve never told anyone about his drinking, partly because I'm ashamed and partly because I know how angry he would get. I've thought about leaving him, but he has no family to go to and I can't bring myself to put him out on the street. He has no income and would have no medical insurance without mine.
I used to nag him all the time. Now I pretty much leave him to himself and just try to ignore him. Tonight he fell down twice. First he was putting water in the dog's bowl and fell, spilling water all over, and couldn't get up. I had to help him up, then mop up the floor. Later he tried to get up off the couch and spilled a bottle of water he had sitting on the coffee table. Then I had to mop that up. I finally exploded, but I know I was just wasting my breath.
I live in a small town and there isn't an alonon group here. I've been reading the postings here though and it's nice to know there's a lot of other people who can relate.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, but you certainly came to the right place. The people here are wonderful; compassionate, non-judgemental and always ready to help.
Keep posting and reading! It helps to alleviate a bit of the frustration you're feeling.
It is very hard isn't it, to have to see a loved one be so sick?
Sadly the best thing you could do is have him leave. If he had to leave, he may get so miserable he would see he better get it together.
I had to send mine away. It is horribly hard. But becuz of alanon I had the tools to do it with out it tearing me completely apart. I put him in hp's hands. I knew I could not control anything about him anyway.
It is so awful to see someone who has an illness, that makes them retarded. We cannot talk to them or do anything with them.
The best thing for you is to make sure YOU are ok and happy.
I don't let the stuff get me mad. I know he is very sick.
Anyway I am sure you have read a lot of this stuff. Please keep coming.
There are also meetings here that are great. love,debilyn
Welcome to MIP and Al-Anon. You no longer need to be alone, you can share with others who understand as they have lived with alcoholism too. As there are no local face to face meetings I would recommend you attend our online ones held in the chat room. There is a link in the top left corner of the message board.
Meeting Schedule: Mon-Fri 9am & 9pm EST, Sat 10am & 9pm EST, Sun 10am & 7pm EST. Central -1hr, Mountain -2hrs, Pacific -3hrs, UK +5hrs. Open chat all other times
Also, I would recomend the literature, I found it really helpful. There is a Recovery Bookstore here online. We have 3 daily readers, "One Day At A Time", "Courage To Change" and "Hope For Today". There are many books so you should be able to find something useful. Many members recommend "Getting Them Sober" but I have never read it.
One of our slogans is the 3C's, you didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. Please continue to seek recovery for yourself, you deserve some peace and happiness. In Al-Anon we believe that 'it is possible to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not'.
