Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

frog58 · frog58

Hello dear friends on the journey to health and sanity I've been working step 4 with a new temporary sponsor. I'm not totally comfortable with the way we are working it and am looking for others ESH so I can think about it honestly and see if I'm the problem or if its we don't fit. Thank yo...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I have not disappeared off the face of the earth. I have been busy finally digging in deep into those dreaded boxes left from March, the garbage man must think I am nuts. There were as many boxes on the street this week as the first week I moved in. I have given up "live tv" and the internet in order to take bac...

mimi · mimi

I did it! I went to my first f2f tonight. I was a bit nervous, but oh my gosh - the love and acceptance was awesome! It made me feel like I wasn't nearly as crazy as I thought I was. And it's given me the hope that I can make it through the next weekend. I might feel differently...

Freatlast · Freatlast

In perusing this board I have found that there is a gentleness of spirit here of which I am in awe. All of you are caregivers, lovers........healers. All of you are what we, as human beings, strive to be.........the essence of humanity. Thank you for this place. Laurie

nachoqtpie · nachoqtpie

I found this poem a few weeks back, and I read it often. It really helps me when I'm down, there are a few that are like that, and I know that I may seem a bit cooky to some, but I'm just one of those people that feel words and emotions that are written in a particular way. I hope that you all like this poem as much a...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

Hi all! Still on the relationship rollercoaster but then who here isn't, or hasn't been? I'm really just looking for some advice here. She is still very unstable when it comes to her emotions, almost manic depression. As you may remember from previous posts her alcoholism came to a head when the p...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I have been distancing myself from my A. I have been trying to not try to control and push. I know that he will have to do it on his own. I need space to figure out where I am going and what I am doing. But yesterday was my sons 13th birthday. My son didn't receive a phone call from him. He was really upset about it...

jeeves · jeeves

Hello Everyone, I have a question for you to consider. If I don’t want to spend any time with an A spouse who is under the influence daily and not working any program, is that considered “conditional love”? In other words if I don’t want to go out to dinner or take vacation wi...

Freatlast · Freatlast

getting directly to this board. I have to go on a search then click on the link there. For some reason when I save it in my favorites it takes me to Sparks something. Can anyone please put the direct link in a response or tell me what to do? Thank you so much!

Texasjoni21 · Texasjoni21

Hey Ya'll, Here's the "NEW ME!" LOL! From now on I'll be entering chat as "Texasjoni21" and here on the board too! Same email addy, same me, just new nickname! For any newbies, this is a great forum to vent, cry, scream, laugh and make some wonderful new friends who'll support you thru thick 'n thin!...

Freatlast · Freatlast

Hello. I found this site while looking for Alanon meetings in my area. I'm in the process of divorcing my husband who is a life long alcoholic (started drinking when he was 8. He's from East London). He walked out on our first anniversary, a month ago today. He receive...

kitty · kitty

Sorry I posted that. -- Edited by kitty at 04:13, 2006-08-15

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, i have a problem, not huge, but it bothers me. My A is in recovery and we have aftercare meetings every monday in his treatment centre, where he spend 6 weeks. All is going great, sometimes we fight, just normal stuff. He is doing his meeting regulary, but i'm not. Everybody is telling me in af...

debilyn · debilyn

I wanted to thank you for your post to me. Yes it is true we can love them even though they are not here. Well the A would have to know what the monster in him is doing, or he/she would not feel so guilty. When I hurt, and he is him, he always says to me, "It tears me up to see you so hurt." So can you ima...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my A does some service volunteer work, mostly speaking, and he knows a zillion AA jokes. he's told me one about Al-Anon, that i didn't really understand until recently! i'll share ... how many Al-Anons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. they all detach and the lightbulb screws it...

Becky1 · Becky1

Today I opened a fortune cookie which read--Honor yourself, and others will Honor you too. When did Alanon start making Fortune Cookies?

Love in Recovery, Becky1

artygirl · artygirl

I just came home from my first al-anon meeting. My A husband was home when I got here and asked me where I'd been. I should have lied, but I told him that I went to an al-anon meeting. He got angry and told me that I shouldn't ever go again because someone might recognize me. I told him that it's anonymous... t...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I got these today in an email - I thought they were great. A little humor on our program way of life trials & tribulations....I hope you all enjoy them as much as I did. Every morning is the dawn of a new error. Aspire to inspire before you expire. My wife and I h...

Rita G · Rita G

Today is my Wedding Anniversary - My AH & I have been married for 14 yrs. Wow - I can't believe it - talk about beating the odds - his 3rd marriage, my 2nd; with his active disease and me without Al-Anon - how did we make it? - Only by the Grace of our HP. So many things go through my mind on ou...

Diva · Diva

Once in a while...just once in a while, I will become annoyed or have my feelings hurt. It could be something my partner has said; a misunderstanding; something someone else has said or done that causes me to feel angry or hurt. It happens to us all. Will I never learn? When I attempt to talk to him, I alway...

Maria123 · Maria123

Kids are Dogs, Teens are Cats Author Unknown I just realized that while children are dogs ... loyal and affectionate ... teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It...

vateach7 · vateach7

for several years i have felt able to detach from my A's behavior and hurtful words. When he stopped drinking for 2 weeks, all my "walls" broke down. It was a wonderful 2 weeks. He was the wonderful, sweet, loving, kind, responsible husband I knew was in there. Th...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I am having some mixed feelings about A husband. I got married to my first husband at a very young age and started having children. I missed out on my teenage years and at the time just really didn't realize it. While girls my age where in high school going to proms, shopping at the mal...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i am still so new to this. i'm still trying to understand how the alcoholic still suffers from their disease even when they're not drinking. part of me speculates that he uses it as an excuse so he can act with total self-indulgence. part of me knows it's part of a bigger disease that i don't fully underst...

Maria123 · Maria123

I just heard this song again from a while ago and thought how appropos of us versus the drug or the drink (same thing). "Drugs Or Jesus" In my home town For anyone who sticks around You're either lost or you're found There's not much in between In my home town Everything's still black...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I am a member because I am powerless over an alcoholic who is sober and I am powerless over my disease. I have been without a vehicle for a week (still having transmission problems with the other car). I wanted to do something this weekend so I asked my AHsober to come tonight. He sa...

shadow1 · shadow1

I’m not one to reach out for help but my wonderful sponsor is tied up with a very sick family member and I don’t want to burden her. I am lost and I don’t where to turn. My 76-year-old mother called me yesterday and told me that she had arrived home from a trip early and that dad had been drinking. T...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well today is just one of those face reality days.......the reality of my life, the reality of how I want to live......and knowing it is all in my hands.... I have suspected that hubby is using again......not positive, just know the signs and know his actions when drinking......

Hope · Hope

Hi, I am new to Al-Anon and these forum. My husband has been sober for 3 years and is very active in A.A. When he was drinking, I used to hope an pray that things would get better, if he could only stop drinking, everything would be alright… Well, it isn’t. ...

omajoy · omajoy

After all the recommendations for reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, I finally ordered it and read it completely through. I was expecting so much and must say that I was very disappointed. I found the advice typical but somehow it felt demeaning to spouses. Not being a spouse of an A ...

debilyn · debilyn

wrote you guys and fell asleep in my chair. woke to a half grown choc lab/red dobi pup licking my face. My first thought was he is gone again. Ya see he was him again. But at the jail ya had to talk on a phone and ya have glass between you. He was pink skinned and less wrinkly, rested,smili...

sld488 · sld488

I have had such a wonderful weekend I wanted to share. Of course it didn't start off so wonderful. My A/bf travels during the week and got to come home early friday and was there when I got home from work. Instead of hugs and kisses from him I got asked why I hadn't done t...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Well AH and I talked lastnight (finally one night of sobriety). I told him I did not think we were going to work out. We gave each other turns to talk. He let me go first. I told him I didn't think things were going great and that I was beginning to think that it wa...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah has been seeing the kids with me here. he comes to my house. i don't really know where he lives. neither does he. i have been really kind and nice, friendly. he has been coldish, not knowing how to react to my genuine care and detatchment. he is a crack addict but, from what he told me tonight he has sw...

david62 · david62

Hi everyone, A post I read sorta touched a nerve in me today. Now this particular nerve gets plucked every now and then and I don't think I have ever mentioned it before but feel like I need to get it off my chest and on this board so I can try to get free of it! Something I read on here today really both...

Gailey · Gailey

I got back from Japan last Friday. I think I am still jetlagged. Me and hubby have been tired this entire week. Have not been online much and have not attended any f2f meetings. I need to get back into the swing of things. Vacation was a wonderful experience. San Francisco for 2 nights, Honnolul...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Alot happening all at once. Got the car back yesterday.

Found out hubby used my checking account to subscribe to a icky website. Closed my account opened another one that I will not get checks for. Told him that was a huge violation of my trust. Left it at that. Comp...

debilyn · debilyn

Hey we agree you are an A, that means you are two or more differnet people in the same body. Put yourself in MY place. I can wake up, turn around, greet you when I see ya, and you are not you, but the monster side of you! No wonder I found you in jail as you, I was so unnerved. I have not seen you in almost seven ye...

sandie123 · sandie123

I have a dilemma where I’m really torn as to what to do. This is the situation: My kids know that my family is full of alcoholics as well as my husband and his mother (his only living relative). I asked my husband to leave late October 2005, which he did. Our lives have been a whole lot calmer since he has...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hello everyone. so the last post i wrote was written about a new guy that has come into my life. ive chosen in my mind not to pursue this as im definatly not ready. im at a point where i just want my independence and to take care of me. not to mention it's only been a month and a half since my a and i separated and h...

Diva · Diva

"I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...

nachoqtpie · nachoqtpie

Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...

Hope · Hope

Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...

signseeker · signseeker

My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?

nycbt · nycbt

Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...

serendipity · serendipity

i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...

BeBlessed · BeBlessed

I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...

maresie2 · maresie2

Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever....

Like the old saying, if...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	the process of working step 4 (Preview) Hello dear friends on the journey to health and sanity I've been working step 4 with a new temporary sponsor. I'm not totally comfortable with the way we are working it and am looking for others ESH so I can think about it honestly and see if I'm the problem or if its we don't fit. Thank yo...	frog58	3	683	Aug 16, 2006 by david62
	to catch you all up (Preview) I have not disappeared off the face of the earth. I have been busy finally digging in deep into those dreaded boxes left from March, the garbage man must think I am nuts. There were as many boxes on the street this week as the first week I moved in. I have given up "live tv" and the internet in order to take bac...	jrtjosey	3	290	Aug 16, 2006 by chris52
	First F2F (Preview) I did it! I went to my first f2f tonight. I was a bit nervous, but oh my gosh - the love and acceptance was awesome! It made me feel like I wasn't nearly as crazy as I thought I was. And it's given me the hope that I can make it through the next weekend. I might feel differently...	mimi	6	417	Aug 16, 2006 by mimi
	Something I've noticed (Preview) In perusing this board I have found that there is a gentleness of spirit here of which I am in awe. All of you are caregivers, lovers........healers. All of you are what we, as human beings, strive to be.........the essence of humanity. Thank you for this place. Laurie	Freatlast	2	324	Aug 16, 2006 by TLC2
	After A While (Preview) I found this poem a few weeks back, and I read it often. It really helps me when I'm down, there are a few that are like that, and I know that I may seem a bit cooky to some, but I'm just one of those people that feel words and emotions that are written in a particular way. I hope that you all like this poem as much a...	nachoqtpie	4	285	Aug 16, 2006 by Freatlast
	How to Deal with Emotional Blackmail? (Preview) Hi all! Still on the relationship rollercoaster but then who here isn't, or hasn't been? I'm really just looking for some advice here. She is still very unstable when it comes to her emotions, almost manic depression. As you may remember from previous posts her alcoholism came to a head when the p...	Mike5056	4	1437	Aug 16, 2006 by Freatlast
	Confused/Angry (Preview) I have been distancing myself from my A. I have been trying to not try to control and push. I know that he will have to do it on his own. I need space to figure out where I am going and what I am doing. But yesterday was my sons 13th birthday. My son didn't receive a phone call from him. He was really upset about it...	DoN4me	7	386	Aug 16, 2006 by evey
	Just a quick question... (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have a question for you to consider. If I don’t want to spend any time with an A spouse who is under the influence daily and not working any program, is that considered “conditional love”? In other words if I don’t want to go out to dinner or take vacation wi...	jeeves	12	660	Aug 16, 2006 by isabela40
	I'm having trouble.... (Preview) getting directly to this board. I have to go on a search then click on the link there. For some reason when I save it in my favorites it takes me to Sparks something. Can anyone please put the direct link in a response or tell me what to do? Thank you so much!	Freatlast	2	292	Aug 15, 2006 by Freatlast
	Hey Ya'll! It's the "NEW ME!!!" (Preview) Hey Ya'll, Here's the "NEW ME!" LOL! From now on I'll be entering chat as "Texasjoni21" and here on the board too! Same email addy, same me, just new nickname! For any newbies, this is a great forum to vent, cry, scream, laugh and make some wonderful new friends who'll support you thru thick 'n thin!...	Texasjoni21	4	281	Aug 15, 2006 by Texasjoni21
	Hello, I'm new here (Preview) Hello. I found this site while looking for Alanon meetings in my area. I'm in the process of divorcing my husband who is a life long alcoholic (started drinking when he was 8. He's from East London). He walked out on our first anniversary, a month ago today. He receive...	Freatlast	8	499	Aug 15, 2006 by Freatlast
	My Friends (Preview) Sorry I posted that. -- Edited by kitty at 04:13, 2006-08-15	kitty	2	315	Aug 15, 2006 by Becky1
	not going to f2f meetings (Preview) Hi all, i have a problem, not huge, but it bothers me. My A is in recovery and we have aftercare meetings every monday in his treatment centre, where he spend 6 weeks. All is going great, sometimes we fight, just normal stuff. He is doing his meeting regulary, but i'm not. Everybody is telling me in af...	daisy2	15	482	Aug 15, 2006 by Becky1
	Becky (Preview) I wanted to thank you for your post to me. Yes it is true we can love them even though they are not here. Well the A would have to know what the monster in him is doing, or he/she would not feel so guilty. When I hurt, and he is him, he always says to me, "It tears me up to see you so hurt." So can you ima...	debilyn	1	289	Aug 15, 2006 by Becky1
	poignant (IMO) joke (Preview) my A does some service volunteer work, mostly speaking, and he knows a zillion AA jokes. he's told me one about Al-Anon, that i didn't really understand until recently! i'll share ... how many Al-Anons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. they all detach and the lightbulb screws it...	purpleraven	9	643	Aug 15, 2006 by Rita G
	Fortune Cookie Wisdom (Preview) Today I opened a fortune cookie which read--Honor yourself, and others will Honor you too. When did Alanon start making Fortune Cookies? Love in Recovery, Becky1	Becky1	5	413	Aug 15, 2006 by Rita G
	anyone experience this? (Preview) I just came home from my first al-anon meeting. My A husband was home when I got here and asked me where I'd been. I should have lied, but I told him that I went to an al-anon meeting. He got angry and told me that I shouldn't ever go again because someone might recognize me. I told him that it's anonymous... t...	artygirl	11	588	Aug 15, 2006 by Rita G
	Little Blurbs to Live By.... (Preview) I got these today in an email - I thought they were great. A little humor on our program way of life trials & tribulations....I hope you all enjoy them as much as I did. Every morning is the dawn of a new error. Aspire to inspire before you expire. My wife and I h...	AlaMom	3	259	Aug 15, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) Today is my Wedding Anniversary - My AH & I have been married for 14 yrs. Wow - I can't believe it - talk about beating the odds - his 3rd marriage, my 2nd; with his active disease and me without Al-Anon - how did we make it? - Only by the Grace of our HP. So many things go through my mind on ou...	Rita G	7	434	Aug 15, 2006 by annmarie
	Typical A behavior? (Preview) Once in a while...just once in a while, I will become annoyed or have my feelings hurt. It could be something my partner has said; a misunderstanding; something someone else has said or done that causes me to feel angry or hurt. It happens to us all. Will I never learn? When I attempt to talk to him, I alway...	Diva	14	657	Aug 15, 2006 by Mike5056
	kids are like dogs; teens are like (ugh) cats (Preview) Kids are Dogs, Teens are Cats Author Unknown I just realized that while children are dogs ... loyal and affectionate ... teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It...	Maria123	9	4143	Aug 15, 2006 by kitty
	learning to detach.... again (Preview) for several years i have felt able to detach from my A's behavior and hurtful words. When he stopped drinking for 2 weeks, all my "walls" broke down. It was a wonderful 2 weeks. He was the wonderful, sweet, loving, kind, responsible husband I knew was in there. Th...	vateach7	3	230	Aug 14, 2006 by MsgBo
	Mixed Feelings (Preview) I am having some mixed feelings about A husband. I got married to my first husband at a very young age and started having children. I missed out on my teenage years and at the time just really didn't realize it. While girls my age where in high school going to proms, shopping at the mal...	JulieLynn	7	348	Aug 14, 2006 by Rebecca
	sober and crazymaking (Preview) i am still so new to this. i'm still trying to understand how the alcoholic still suffers from their disease even when they're not drinking. part of me speculates that he uses it as an excuse so he can act with total self-indulgence. part of me knows it's part of a bigger disease that i don't fully underst...	purpleraven	8	413	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Tim McGraw - Drugs or Jesus (Preview) I just heard this song again from a while ago and thought how appropos of us versus the drug or the drink (same thing). "Drugs Or Jesus" In my home town For anyone who sticks around You're either lost or you're found There's not much in between In my home town Everything's still black...	Maria123	4	1986	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Have to have a belief in my HP (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I am a member because I am powerless over an alcoholic who is sober and I am powerless over my disease. I have been without a vehicle for a week (still having transmission problems with the other car). I wanted to do something this weekend so I asked my AHsober to come tonight. He sa...	nmike	5	374	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Reaching out for help (Preview) I’m not one to reach out for help but my wonderful sponsor is tied up with a very sick family member and I don’t want to burden her. I am lost and I don’t where to turn. My 76-year-old mother called me yesterday and told me that she had arrived home from a trip early and that dad had been drinking. T...	shadow1	6	399	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	The Reality of it All (Preview) Hello Friends, Well today is just one of those face reality days.......the reality of my life, the reality of how I want to live......and knowing it is all in my hands.... I have suspected that hubby is using again......not positive, just know the signs and know his actions when drinking......	Andrea12	12	524	Aug 14, 2006 by mel123
	Don't I deserve a "9th step" too? (Preview) Hi, I am new to Al-Anon and these forum. My husband has been sober for 3 years and is very active in A.A. When he was drinking, I used to hope an pray that things would get better, if he could only stop drinking, everything would be alright… Well, it isn’t. ...	Hope	9	813	Aug 14, 2006 by Rita G
	"Getting Them Sober" and other books (Preview) After all the recommendations for reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, I finally ordered it and read it completely through. I was expecting so much and must say that I was very disappointed. I found the advice typical but somehow it felt demeaning to spouses. Not being a spouse of an A ...	omajoy	10	649	Aug 14, 2006 by annmarie
	just need ones who understand (Preview) wrote you guys and fell asleep in my chair. woke to a half grown choc lab/red dobi pup licking my face. My first thought was he is gone again. Ya see he was him again. But at the jail ya had to talk on a phone and ya have glass between you. He was pink skinned and less wrinkly, rested,smili...	debilyn	23	720	Aug 14, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Respond with kindness. (Preview) I have had such a wonderful weekend I wanted to share. Of course it didn't start off so wonderful. My A/bf travels during the week and got to come home early friday and was there when I got home from work. Instead of hugs and kisses from him I got asked why I hadn't done t...	sld488	2	339	Aug 14, 2006 by purpleraven
	Boundaries... (Preview) Hi everyone: Well AH and I talked lastnight (finally one night of sobriety). I told him I did not think we were going to work out. We gave each other turns to talk. He let me go first. I told him I didn't think things were going great and that I was beginning to think that it wa...	hersh	6	336	Aug 14, 2006 by Zyperiris
	experience please (Preview) my ex ah has been seeing the kids with me here. he comes to my house. i don't really know where he lives. neither does he. i have been really kind and nice, friendly. he has been coldish, not knowing how to react to my genuine care and detatchment. he is a crack addict but, from what he told me tonight he has sw...	serendipity	3	310	Aug 14, 2006 by Christy
	Trying to Let It Go! (Preview) Hi everyone, A post I read sorta touched a nerve in me today. Now this particular nerve gets plucked every now and then and I don't think I have ever mentioned it before but feel like I need to get it off my chest and on this board so I can try to get free of it! Something I read on here today really both...	david62	4	477	Aug 14, 2006 by david62
	back from a long vacation (Preview) I got back from Japan last Friday. I think I am still jetlagged. Me and hubby have been tired this entire week. Have not been online much and have not attended any f2f meetings. I need to get back into the swing of things. Vacation was a wonderful experience. San Francisco for 2 nights, Honnolul...	Gailey	4	354	Aug 13, 2006 by peewee
	Prayers Please! (Preview) Hi all, Alot happening all at once. Got the car back yesterday. Found out hubby used my checking account to subscribe to a icky website. Closed my account opened another one that I will not get checks for. Told him that was a huge violation of my trust. Left it at that. Comp...	Dolphin123	15	358	Aug 13, 2006 by peewee
	And another thing! (Preview) Hey we agree you are an A, that means you are two or more differnet people in the same body. Put yourself in MY place. I can wake up, turn around, greet you when I see ya, and you are not you, but the monster side of you! No wonder I found you in jail as you, I was so unnerved. I have not seen you in almost seven ye...	debilyn	1	319	Aug 13, 2006 by marmare
	Not Sure What To Do (Preview) I have a dilemma where I’m really torn as to what to do. This is the situation: My kids know that my family is full of alcoholics as well as my husband and his mother (his only living relative). I asked my husband to leave late October 2005, which he did. Our lives have been a whole lot calmer since he has...	sandie123	6	473	Aug 13, 2006 by Zyperiris
	assertiveness please.......... (Preview) hello everyone. so the last post i wrote was written about a new guy that has come into my life. ive chosen in my mind not to pursue this as im definatly not ready. im at a point where i just want my independence and to take care of me. not to mention it's only been a month and a half since my a and i separated and h...	notsonew1111	7	338	Aug 13, 2006 by lin0606
	Debilyn... (Preview) "I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...	Diva	2	353	Aug 13, 2006 by debilyn
	Finding Peace (Preview) Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...	nachoqtpie	1	243	Aug 13, 2006 by doxie
	Letting God do his job (Preview) Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...	Dolphin123	3	431	Aug 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	I feel like I'm growing (Preview) Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...	itsgot2bgd	1	410	Aug 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new man in my life....... (Preview) the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...	notsonew1111	8	591	Aug 12, 2006 by itsgot2bgd
	Update (Preview) Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...	Jeannie	5	240	Aug 12, 2006 by leo
	Feeling selfish... (Preview) Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...	Hope	4	317	Aug 12, 2006 by maresie2
	Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee (Preview) Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...	Mobirdie	6	413	Aug 12, 2006 by Jeannie
	Do they really think we're Stupid?? (Preview) My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...	signseeker	8	463	Aug 12, 2006 by signseeker
	Location...Location...Location? (Preview) Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?	tishrijo	2	268	Aug 12, 2006 by confused
	2 yrs anniversary marriage (Preview) Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...	nycbt	8	385	Aug 12, 2006 by aunitedway
	a little drama (Preview) i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...	serendipity	2	454	Aug 12, 2006 by SLS
	New Nick I Picked! (Preview) Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...	jonibaloni21	0	271	Aug 11, 2006 by jonibaloni21
	How did I get scapegoated for all that goes wrong with the A? (Preview) Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...	twinmom2	2	505	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Living Easy Does It (Preview) So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...	Tiger2006	2	390	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Hope for the people-pleaser (Preview) I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...	BeBlessed	3	368	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Being up against it. (Preview) Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...	maresie2	4	409	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Another day, another update (Preview) This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever.... Like the old saying, if...	Tiger2006	3	258	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Elephant in my living room... (Preview) Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...	AlaMom	6	394	Aug 11, 2006 by hummingbird
	Thanks-this is a great site with great folks (Preview) Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...	Gramma Pat	1	294	Aug 11, 2006 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.