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Brother gone off the rails again
(Preview)
Dear All,
My ex-A was just rubbing it in a few weeks ago how he had seen my alcoholic brother in Ennis and he was looking great , in a suit, and everything. This was meant to minimise to me just how bad this guys problems are. Yet last week my son told me that my brother had cut loose and gone to another brothe...
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maire rua
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2
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256
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Quick thought for today- boost your self esteem
(Preview)
I got the following quip in the mail today. It really fits in with what I have been struggling with lately... self-esteem.
We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.
-- Anonymous
We are wonderful...
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sandie123
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1
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243
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tidy house
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
When I was growing up my mother cleaned up after and enabled my Afather so much that even as a child I couldn't understand it. She was and still is completely codependant in his shadow for a lifetime. I remember at a young age vowing to myself that I would never end up like that.
Yet here...
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annmarie
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7
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309
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All Hell Has Broken Loose
(Preview)
Hi all,
Well since A went back to drinking earlier this week all hell has broken loose. He had been sober for 7 weeks but had just shut himself in the house and avoided all outside contact in order to do it. Now all his looser friends are back. He has been in the woods cutting firewood...
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lebe27
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6
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463
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Trying to switch my priorities
(Preview)
I have been in a very low mood for the past several weeks...well actually it seems for my whole life. I have never thought of myself as being depressed. I had always thought that I felt the way I do because of circumstances in my life. I am now starting to think differently.
As a child I remember my mom b...
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Gailey
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3
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374
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Blessed
(Preview)
(((friends))) My husband e-mailed me this song this morning and I sat here and cried through it. Believe it or not, it's uplifting..lol Thought I'd share some happy stuff, we all need that!! :) *sigh, 15 more days till he comes home for visit but his daughter is getting married so we have to travel. I don...
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Christy
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5
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287
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Why am I mad and lonely?
(Preview)
Well he has been missing for about a week and I haven't really thought about it much just every now and again wondering if he's ok and then today I listen to a message from his mother saying that a guy from AA in Arizona called her to say he's ok and getting into rehab on Saturday. Now I found that I was E...
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carolinagirl
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7
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385
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codependency codyness epidemic
(Preview)
Oh boy oh boy I am on overload with the subject of "codyness".
A family member other than myself raised cody, acoa, seems is trying to pass on codependence to everyone else too.
Is that possible? Is this a family disease right along with alcoholism?
Not to imply that I myself...
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peewee
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4
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397
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Has any one read 7 weeks to sobriety?
(Preview)
Just wanted to know if anyone read this book and tried the plan? Thanks
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kingston
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3
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405
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guidance on approaching step 4?
(Preview)
Dear all--
I'm working the steps largely on my own, as the city where I live has a tiny, tiny Al-Anon group and I am without a sponsor. I get some good guidance from AA colleagues, but wanted to turn to this group with a question about doing a self-inventory as part of step 4, which is where I am now....
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faraway06
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5
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397
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Megan...that is a new one!!!
(Preview)
I have heard it said that alanon is a million dollar program shoved up your butt a nickel at a time. I could not help but laugh at that saying. I have never heard that before. I think I will have to remember that. Thanks...Gail -- Edited by Gailey at 09:40, 2006-09-14
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Gailey
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2
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365
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Beating myself up, need to vent
(Preview)
Ok....why do I feel so strange right now.
My ex bf is in jail again....contempt of dui court. He has been sober for a while, so I hear, not sure what happened.
I had been thinking of his mom for several days, she and I were close when he and I were together. I occasionally see her in Al Anon and we al...
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beachbaby
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4
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432
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I need some help!
(Preview)
Ok, my A has been drinking at home the last month or so, only on Friday nights, and another couple come up and the husbands sit around and drink, and me and his friends wife, may have a few, but we just sit around and talk. Well this past Friday night, it was getting late, so our friends wife went in and went to...
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lilleah
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7
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348
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drugs
(Preview)
i went into the chat room om 12/09/06 and there was a discussion about an active A and methodone and drugs should this be talked about on the main chat room or should it have been a private chat as any new al-anon member coming in would be confused. I do have sympathy as i have active drug abuse in my family bu...
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scotia
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3
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305
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Up and down - leave or not?
(Preview)
((( Good morning everyone))))
I am in such a shellshock mode the last few weeks. I am strong one day and horribly anxious the next. AH is totally lying about this "friendship" he has been having since earlier this year, and of course I am checking the phone bill everyday. She call...
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hersh
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10
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447
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ME
(Preview)
Nov I will be in Alanon for two years. At this present time in my life I feel very distance from Alanon. Which is not good. I can't get my self together to work my steps or even go to face to face meetings. My private computer has been down since aug 19 and I haven't been able to get on the internet at night like i...
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nycbt
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13
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495
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Pity vs love
(Preview)
(((Hello MIP Family))
I was working on this question as part of my step work and thought I'd share some of my discoveries. The definition of pity is a feeling of empathy and sorrow for the misfortune's of other. To feel for someone, show compassion to someone, and take mercy on them.
T...
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twinmom2
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5
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8911
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thankful for HP!
(Preview)
Finally, I just prayed the serenity prayer....... instead of applying the words or trying to make them fit into the situation the way I wanted them to I just prayed!   ...
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sld488
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1
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292
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Start Today (An old story revisited)
(Preview)
The Daffodil Principle
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over."
I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead.
"I will come next Tuesday," I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
...
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kismetstrand
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7
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464
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How on earth do you edit a post?
(Preview)
I have read many times or have seen where someone has edited or deleted one of their posts. How does one go about doing this???
I am not the most technologically advanced person but didn't think up until now that I was a complete moron. I have searched and searched this site and cannot fig...
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lilms
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1
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209
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Grown Man
(Preview)
The other day A and I were in conflict again. He said to me that he is a grown man and will do whatever he wants.
That kind of statement for me indicates he has no respect for the relationship or me and it is time to move on.
Any one experience this kind of behavior. I a...
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LadyLibra
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5
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267
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Texas Adventure
(Preview)
Well my lovelies, as you all know I visited the land of cowboys and cactus this last weekend. I did my best to be bring my Al-Anon with me and I wanted to share what I learned about myself. I like doing a continuous tenth step around my recovery. I haven't made a post on this board in a long time. So here goes: 1...
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bob6502
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4
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343
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Repeating the pattern?
(Preview)
Sorry. Deleted my post. This was probably one of those questions I needed to figure out on my own. -- Edited by findingmyway at 19:40, 2006-09-13
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findingmyway
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0
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255
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update
(Preview)
My A is doing great!!!!! Today is aweek he has been wihtour a drink. I know that isn't long BUT it is a start!!!!! I have learned a lot in a little amount of time.
I am doing something for me!!!!! I am going to go back to college and get my masters degree. My A is very proud of me and thinks it is a good ide...
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marks girl
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1
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239
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horrible end to great weekend
(Preview)
hi guys
well...where do i start.....
the last few weeks i have been taking a step back from my ex boyf. the "A".
he text me to tell me he had moved on, i said good. he asked was i around for the weekend.. i said NO i was going away with the girls for a break. he said FINE.
i headed off with the girls up the c...
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Rebecca
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10
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462
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Quotes that touch me...........
(Preview)
"The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present" Barbara De Angelis
"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." Anna Quindlen
thank you for sharing...
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frog58
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1
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326
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self worth and self esteem
(Preview)
I could use some ESH on self-worth and self-esteem... 2 areas I am definatel lacking. I understand how important they are to my growth. I am reminded regularly from program members how I am a worthwhile person and am loved. I guess it's a good thing I hear that from ohters cause I don't beleive them enoug...
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sandie123
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6
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293
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Making amends vs. having no boundaries...?
(Preview)
Dear friends:
Just joined this group a few nights ago and am so grateful for the community. Thank you all for your wisdom, hope and strength.
The situation with the A in my life now is challenging, but I'm feeling centered and grounded these days so I thought I'd take a moment to continue to seek othe...
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faraway06
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4
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401
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Stuggling with my son
(Preview)
It is just my son and me in the house. My A has been gone almost 11 months and my daugther just left for college. We live on just under 10 acres... on a "farm" which is gradually falling down before my eyes. My son and I are trying to get caught up on some of the things around the house which have been neglected f...
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sandie123
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5
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345
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MIP family members here in San Antonio.
(Preview)
Several of us got together here in San Antonio. Most everyone spent the week enjoying one another's company, but I had lunch with the group on Sunday. The restaurant where we chose to meet was closed, so we piled in our vehicles and went elsewhere. Had a great Tex-Mex lunch at "Mi Tierra," which is renow...
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Diva
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3
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376
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Much needed prayers please
(Preview)
Hi ((((((((((((Family))))))))))
Today I’m asking for your prayers. I have to go in for a biopsy and I am letting the fear of the unknown get to me. I am scared to death. I have to see the surgeon on Friday and I’m praying that they surgery will be scheduled very soon so I know just what I might be up a...
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shadow1
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13
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497
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Back and forth between Self Righteous and Guilt
(Preview)
Hello my fellow Alanoners. I am struggling a little tonight. I am in a relationship with someone in there first 30 days (she at one time had three years not that long ago) Any way she is living with me and she has a 9 year old daughter. I have been doing everything thing. As far as keeping the home and taking c...
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moto
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4
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518
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FINDING MYSELF AT LAST
(Preview)
HI ALL FELLOW MEMBERS
I JUST WANTED TO SAY A BIG, BIG, THANK YOU TO YOU ALL.
I HAVE BEEN IN AL-ANON LESS THAN A YEAR, BEEN IN HERE ABOUT FOUR MONTHS.
I AM JUST BEGINING TO LET GO OF WHO I THOUGHT I WAS. NOW I KNOW THAT PERSON WAS NOT ME.
THAT PERSON WAS A THE CHILD WITHIN ME, I AM GROWING UNDER THE INFLUENC...
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ally02
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1
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259
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This Stuff Really Works
(Preview)
Hey all! Just got back from our anniversary trip last night about 6pm. We had a fantastic time, went to Put-In-Bay, rode the ferry over to South Bass Island. We had neither one been there, and didn't even know anything about what we would find. It was great, the weather was ov...
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Becky1
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5
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471
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i'm soooo tired
(Preview)
Today I've found myself falling deep deep into a self pity chasm and I can't seem to crawl out of it.
Withing the past few years I've lost my mother, my bro in law, my sister to suicide, my son to prison, other son to mental illness, and now my daughter wants nothing to do with me since her hsuband died.&nb...
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irish54
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4
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319
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is feeling like I can go out and do things myself part of the recovery?
(Preview)
A year ago I was a mess. Ended up at the docs office where they tried putting me on Zoloft, started back at AlAnon (it had been several years), joined a new gym and a new Church. Husband had just had his left kidney removed due to cancer (he's doing fine now - its been a year). I kept telling myself it was due to...
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Barbara
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6
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347
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Heart to Heart Retreat
(Preview)
I got home a couple hours ago from the most awesome 12 step recovery, women only retreat. This was my first year to go and I am so pumped up I don't think I'll come down any day soon. I learned so much about myself, my inner feelings, how to work my steps even further than I have worked them to dat...
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Mobirdie
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7
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4480
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" I love you enough to............. " Poem Thanks to Cilla
(Preview)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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hmrnrnmm
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1
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3900
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Battle lines almost drawn
(Preview)
A few days ago I posted about my bf's daughter, her decision to move back with her biological mother, and now wants to come back.
Last night I got a call from the bio mom. She informed me she had called the local authorities to come pick up the daughter to remove her from the home. She had told me how the dau...
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sld488
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3
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364
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doing something for someone less fortunate
(Preview)
In alanon it is suggested that we all do something for someone and not tell them.
Michael's Craft Stores (in USA) are running their afghans for charity program again.
All they ask participants to do is knit or crochet a rectangles 7" by 9" and drop them off
at a Michael's craft store and the...
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frog58
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3
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342
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Our Anniversary
(Preview)
Well, everything was great, and now we are on an impromptu trip (left Sat. morning) in upper Ohio, headed for LAKE ERIE!!! We had dinner at the winery, went home, went to bed Fri, got up Sat and took off on the motorcycle and went thru and Indian Cave yesterday, stayed all night at a hotel in Bellevu...
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Becky1
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9
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374
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QUESTION? DO YOU REALIZE THAT LIFE IS NOT BALCK AND WHITE OR GOOD AND BAD, BUT RATHER SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN?
(Preview)
For years I believed that things should be a certain way, period! There was a right way and a wrong way! I assumed my way of thinking was the right way. Dealing with active alcoholism distorts our way of thinking rationally, and in my case I began trying to control the drinker, his wa...
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gardengal
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2
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299
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life is running smoothly - do i need alanon
(Preview)
A year has gone by since my husband had his left kidney out due to cancer. He's busy at work, attending union meetings, told his drinking buddy he needs a few months by himself since he's busy w/work. Our son turned 14 and doesnt want his mother to fill up all his free time (Hey I was lucky to have his compani...
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Barbara
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10
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569
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In remembrance
(Preview)
A day shall come when shall not hold these hands,
nor "see" these dear familiar faces,
Therefore, let us cheerish our Loved ones NOW,
...while there is time,
and hold them close
and treat them with all great tenderness.
For soon, ... so soon we must part,
...and we shall not "find" them a...
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Karilynn
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6
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371
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Things that finally needed to be said
(Preview)
I have a long history with my son's father an A. 18 years, we have had alot of problems lately in reguards to our son. I haven't really talked to him since I joined recovery. But my son had made a decission I had to respect his thoughts and opinions as he is growing in being a teenager. He wanted to go stay with...
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DoN4me
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1
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298
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Keeping the Focus on Me!
(Preview)
Learning to keep the focus on me has been the hardest thing for me to accomplish. Being a mother of five, the sister of 6, the daughter of Daniel and Barbara and the wife of George.... I was totally lost at who I was, who I was suppose to be and what it was that I truly wanted for myself....
My father w...
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WolfSong
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2
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440
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Thanks for all your support
(Preview)
I just want to thank everyone for their support, especially Jerry F for reminding me that I choose my consequences. I put a collect call block on the phone and haven't heard from him again. I wonder here and there about what's going on. He helped me move in so he could theoretically s...
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carolinagirl
|
1
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246
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guilt, anxiety....help?
(Preview)
I really need some help. I am feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety and so unclear which direction to go. I am engaged but wondering should I marry my A? He doesn't drink but just had a relapse. We were stuck in a terrible obessive cycle just before the relapse. We've broken that cy...
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twinkie
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6
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417
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Update
(Preview)
Hi (((Everyone))),
Just wanted to say hi and let you know what's up with me. This summer has been a whirlwind as I have been making 3 or 4 ftf meetings a week even in the TX heat with no a/c in my car! I have been proud of myself that I (gasp - are you sititng down for this one) - I ASKED FOR HELP.&n...
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cedarpines
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6
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246
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should I marry this guy?
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm SO grateful for the Al-Anon program, it has helped me SO much in the 8 months I've been coming to meetings! I've started working the steps and have a sponsor, and I love love LOVE this program!
My question is about making major life decisions -- in particular, whether to marry my boyfr...
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AllyNon
|
16
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545
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to hmrnrnmm & Agoraphobia
(Preview)
This is the Hero of the dysfunctional family/alcoholic family. I read another post hmrnrnmm had and wanted to share why those who experience this in the adult years.
People who develop panic attacks were often denied their childhoods. Yes, they were children. But often, they were require...
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kissers
|
0
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351
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44 going on 13
(Preview)
HI all,
Feeling kinda weird... nervous. Anxious. Sometimes, I feel like I do/say things and then I look back at them and think, "Oh gosh, I didn't handle that very well." "I should've worded that better" (to avoid offending someone or hurting his feelings) "Why was I afraid to be clear?" (ins...
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itsgot2bgd
|
6
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495
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Coming to some tough realizations.
(Preview)
(((Hello Family)))
Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I myself have been coming to some tough resolutions. I had counseling with the A on Thursday and told him and the counselor that I'm tired of being a victim and have realized how unhealthy I've become. Whether the A is wi...
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twinmom2
|
4
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396
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Humble ....
(Preview)
(((((Good morning friends)))))
I am truly humble on a day like today. So many died and so many families have suffered a loss. I hope that somewhere in this is the reason my son is in combat overseas. I spent a day with my AHsober. It never goes very well. But even in that I can find things to put on my gratit...
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nmike
|
2
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359
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Thinking about racing thoughts
(Preview)
In one of my meetings, someone mentioned their racing thoughts. A lot of people seemed to relate, me included.
In my effort to deal with my racing thoughts, I wonder why we even have them. Are these thoughts generally about what needs to get done? Are we always trying to solve our problems,...
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BeBlessed
|
4
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416
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was this control? part 2 is this my illness?
(Preview)
Thank you all, so much, for responding to my last post. Reading your responses has helped me to feel more secure about my action to not stop for him. Today, he stayed in bed all day. Its been 30 hours that he's been in bed. I have gone about my day... offering to talk if he wanted t...
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pearlygirrl
|
2
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439
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|
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Trying to Breathe "Sane" Air
(Preview)
((MIP Family)) - I have missed all of you - it has been over a week since I have been able to get on line - and what a week it has been - just a brief summary of the chaos - medical issues for me, death of a dear Aunt, a 26 yr old niece in ICU because of her addiction - with only a 10 % chance of survival, our daughter re...
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Rita G
|
6
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880
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New Here
(Preview)
Hello all I am new here... I joined tonight after laying in my bed attempting to feel sorry for myself.. I have been in the program for about 3 years now and feel for the first time in about a year that I am loosing my grip on my serenity....
It has been hard for me to attend f2f meetings as my work hours are sp...
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WolfSong
|
6
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328
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Stepping out of the Darkness
(Preview)
Hello Dear Friends,
Well, started my new job this week, have been in training all week.....omg.....it is a biatch...lol. I am sure once I actually start the job...instead of looking at everything on paper form I am going to like it.....wow...I have forgotten how wonderful it is to have a piece of...
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Andrea12
|
5
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354
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Guilt Trip
(Preview)
Hello
Another update on my situation. I had my A/cocaine-addicted husband served with divorce papers on Tuesday. He's still living here in our house with me. He claims to have no place to go.
As you can imagine, things are rather uncomfortable around here. He's been doing everything he can t...
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artygirl
|
5
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295
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