Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie2 · maresie2

I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear...

marmare · marmare

I GOT A JOB!!!! Brand new position at a local furniture store, like an inventory control position.....I just got back from drug screen and interview, they hired me on the spot!!!! Drug screen will be fine, I don't have to worry about stuff like the A. I haven't heard from him, he still is living el...

John · John

Dear Isabela40, I am moved to provide you with an amends for my reaction to your post entitled "confused about cookbook". I handled it in a way that I am not proud of by any means. Having had a bit of time to step back and look at the whole situation and my role in it, I am appalled by the way I at...

Ann · Ann

I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handl...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I told Ziggy that I didn't fly away, just need more hours in the day. This past week has been nuts. I spent hours on the computer looking for research on Marijuana as it was the topic of my term paper that was due this past Thursday. There is tons of information out there, and not all of it good. I f...

Jill · Jill

hi I don't remember how this happened, but the message board on my pc shows in order or replies. I prefer them to be in order of when originally posted. Can anyone clue me in? thanks! Jill

laurab · laurab

Today is a quiet day. Breakfast with friends, Sunday papers, reading and a little cleaning up. Yesterday I arranged to meet my A son to give him the extra key to his storage place. We decided to meet at my part time job a 1/2 hour before my work time. I had loaded my car with lots of his stuff from his move. N...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

I wish ........I did not love him, It would make things so much easier. I have been trying to work my steps. Well,,,, I have also set up boundries.... like no vodka at my house period!!!!! walked away last night and left him home because he had to bring the bottle.... I went home alone... no big deal. So muc...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Just curious to know how you are doing? Any word on if the hubby is able to make it home to you soon? Ziggy

bob6502 · bob6502

In my efforts to be more involved in my program, I have decided I need to read the literature more often. The April 18th page in Courage to Change has summed alot of issues I have been having the passed few days. Here it is: "...As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put...

ditto · ditto

My ex-husband was an a. I N-E-V-E-R want to have to deal with that sort of thing again. Not ever. We are divorced now and I am in a sort of long-distance friendship with a man. He has come to visit once. He is coming to visit again. He has always remained respectful of my bounda...

tea2 · tea2

When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. It i...

jaja · jaja

DoN4me · DoN4me

I guess best way to start is letting you know some more back ground. I am very scared of the net have been for sometime. Alot of the things I have been dealing with are more emotional then anything. It is how I meet my A. We had a great relationship online. But I found out not everything is as it seems. I don't b...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post a little update.......my transmission went in my car, motor is blown up in the jeep....how lovely is this....sigh.....I have a co-worker who is out to get me...long story goes way back...boss asked me today, what is the bad blood, I said, I have no i...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Boy what a week... I sit back today and wonder how much of this drama do I bring on myself? I will skip most of the details, they are much the same as everyone else's chaos, slamming doors, breaking things and yelling and screaming. But... how often do I put mysel...

Phil · Phil

"Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love

maresie2 · maresie2

I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...

Nette · Nette

My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...

nycbt · nycbt

Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...

laurab · laurab

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gwenk · gwenk

I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...

omajoy · omajoy

So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...

omajoy · omajoy

I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...

gardengal · gardengal

Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...

maresie2 · maresie2

At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...

Phil · Phil

You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...

jaja · jaja

A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...

Newme · Newme

Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...

Diva · Diva

Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...

jaja · jaja

Jerry F · Jerry F

I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...

Becky1 · Becky1

I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of confli...

lebe27 · lebe27

((friends)) Not sure if it is just me or what but even though I have message board set to sort by start date it keeps sorting by last post. This is really messing with my head.

marmare · marmare

Well, my A and I were supposed to be able to talk about all that has been going on. He turned his phone off, it was on long enough to check messages and didn't deposit any of his paycheck into the bank. I know I am supposed to believe that my HP will provide, but it's so hard right now, my ph...

ShelBell · ShelBell

I would like to start marriage counseling, but I am not sure if it is too soon. AH has said taht he is willing to go, he knows we have much to work through. I am afraid that it may be too soon and am also afraid of what I may hear. I have slept on the couch a couple of times in the past few weeks a...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I guess this sounds strange. But what are your thoughts on doing something special for an Active A who participates in a family outing without drinking? For some, that may not sound to out of the ordinary, but for us it is not. In a way I want to throw a big 'ol party, bu...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I had to try one more time so I calmly told my AH how sad I was and how his drinking was destroying our 30+ marriage. I told him that I have meet wonderful people at an open AA meeting and if he ever wanted to he could talk to one of them. He thanked me and I foolishly hoped he would atleast try and reconnec...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, here's the whole situation. The kids are 12/7/4. The AH has a home with no power or running water (no toilet use). My point was... I feel the need to stay home so that he can be with them rather than making my own plans. He is not taking the kids anywhere. He is no...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, I know I am going to sound selfish typing this but I just need to vent. I have had the most awful afternoon, having to verify a hotel room that I have paid for in the UK. This was booked last August fully paid for, I have the voucher with all the number, the travel agents are legitimate and the fly i...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...

valentine · valentine

My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...

debilyn · debilyn

Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Controlling my day (Preview) I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear...	maresie2	5	323	Nov 13, 2006 by rtexas
	New Job!!!!! (Preview) I GOT A JOB!!!! Brand new position at a local furniture store, like an inventory control position.....I just got back from drug screen and interview, they hired me on the spot!!!! Drug screen will be fine, I don't have to worry about stuff like the A. I haven't heard from him, he still is living el...	marmare	10	441	Nov 13, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	To Isabela40 (Preview) Dear Isabela40, I am moved to provide you with an amends for my reaction to your post entitled "confused about cookbook". I handled it in a way that I am not proud of by any means. Having had a bit of time to step back and look at the whole situation and my role in it, I am appalled by the way I at...	John	3	476	Nov 13, 2006 by isabela40
	Head Spinning (Preview) I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handl...	Ann	4	241	Nov 12, 2006 by ShelBell
	RE: Dolphin123 did you fly away (Preview) Hi all, I told Ziggy that I didn't fly away, just need more hours in the day. This past week has been nuts. I spent hours on the computer looking for research on Marijuana as it was the topic of my term paper that was due this past Thursday. There is tons of information out there, and not all of it good. I f...	Dolphin123	3	410	Nov 12, 2006 by peewee
	sequence of messages (Preview) hi I don't remember how this happened, but the message board on my pc shows in order or replies. I prefer them to be in order of when originally posted. Can anyone clue me in? thanks! Jill	Jill	6	834	Nov 12, 2006 by Karilynn
	can't stop wondering and worrying (Preview) Today is a quiet day. Breakfast with friends, Sunday papers, reading and a little cleaning up. Yesterday I arranged to meet my A son to give him the extra key to his storage place. We decided to meet at my part time job a 1/2 hour before my work time. I had loaded my car with lots of his stuff from his move. N...	laurab	5	420	Nov 12, 2006 by jaja
	Back on the crazy train (Preview) I wish ........I did not love him, It would make things so much easier. I have been trying to work my steps. Well,,,, I have also set up boundries.... like no vodka at my house period!!!!! walked away last night and left him home because he had to bring the bottle.... I went home alone... no big deal. So muc...	mandalynn38	9	396	Nov 12, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Dolphin123 did you fly away? (Preview) Just curious to know how you are doing? Any word on if the hubby is able to make it home to you soon? Ziggy	ZiggyDoodles	1	253	Nov 12, 2006 by Dolphin123
	April 18 Courage to Change (Preview) In my efforts to be more involved in my program, I have decided I need to read the literature more often. The April 18th page in Courage to Change has summed alot of issues I have been having the passed few days. Here it is: "...As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put...	bob6502	6	1158	Nov 12, 2006 by bob6502
	How Much Is Too Much (Preview) My ex-husband was an a. I N-E-V-E-R want to have to deal with that sort of thing again. Not ever. We are divorced now and I am in a sort of long-distance friendship with a man. He has come to visit once. He is coming to visit again. He has always remained respectful of my bounda...	ditto	8	468	Nov 12, 2006 by lin0606
	gentle reminder re: Copyrighting (Preview) When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. It i...	tea2	5	523	Nov 12, 2006 by kismetstrand
	What to do? (or maybe do nothing?) (Preview)	jaja	2	259	Nov 12, 2006 by Christy
	Fear of online (Preview) I guess best way to start is letting you know some more back ground. I am very scared of the net have been for sometime. Alot of the things I have been dealing with are more emotional then anything. It is how I meet my A. We had a great relationship online. But I found out not everything is as it seems. I don't b...	DoN4me	1	265	Nov 12, 2006 by TLC2
	Still Getting Thru (Preview) ((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post a little update.......my transmission went in my car, motor is blown up in the jeep....how lovely is this....sigh.....I have a co-worker who is out to get me...long story goes way back...boss asked me today, what is the bad blood, I said, I have no i...	Andrea12	9	460	Nov 12, 2006 by mel123
	Wanna buy my fake HP liscense... cheap (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Boy what a week... I sit back today and wonder how much of this drama do I bring on myself? I will skip most of the details, they are much the same as everyone else's chaos, slamming doors, breaking things and yelling and screaming. But... how often do I put mysel...	rtexas	7	446	Nov 12, 2006 by carosie
	For those that are having some "TRYING" days (Preview) "Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love	Phil	1	359	Nov 12, 2006 by Karilynn
	Thanksgiving (Preview) I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...	maresie2	6	287	Nov 12, 2006 by peewee
	feeling sad. (Preview) Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...	artygirl	4	252	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	jealousy (Preview) OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...	Becky1	3	287	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	How should I feel NOW? (Preview) My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...	Nette	3	298	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	2 YEARS ALANON BIRTHDAY (Preview) Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...	nycbt	14	438	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	A new day and lessons learned,(I hope.) (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))	laurab	6	373	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	am i reday for step one yet? (Preview) I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...	gwenk	2	246	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	handling resentment (Preview) So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...	omajoy	3	308	Nov 11, 2006 by Christy
	Too much Holiday time (Preview) This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...	Orchid Lady	4	375	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	resentment revisited (Preview) I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...	omajoy	2	258	Nov 11, 2006 by mama_nz
	"RESILIENCE" ISNT A "SOME HAVE IT AND SOME DONT QUALITY" (Preview) Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...	gardengal	4	1227	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	loneliness (Preview) At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...	maresie2	1	203	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	After doing a step four....Blame..resentment..forgiveness (Preview) You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...	Phil	7	545	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Question! Regarding As & Memory (Preview) I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...	Tryin2havfaith	19	711	Nov 11, 2006 by Becky1
	Just what I needed (like a hole in the head) (Preview) A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...	jaja	11	448	Nov 11, 2006 by Diva
	I have an affair...I am scared... (Preview) Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...	Newme	7	645	Nov 10, 2006 by maresie2
	I'm still here (Preview) Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...	daisy2	2	219	Nov 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Something sounds selfish about this... (Preview) Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...	Diva	12	531	Nov 10, 2006 by ditto
	Got the Call - - - He's in JAIL! (Preview) Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...	carolinagirl	8	560	Nov 10, 2006 by mama_nz
	Answers (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...	Karilynn	2	273	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	Veterans Day (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...	Karilynn	3	252	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	leaving the lights on (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...	maire rua	0	274	Nov 10, 2006 by maire rua
	ALLY ON TOP FORM (LOL) (Preview) ((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...	ally	5	324	Nov 10, 2006 by shadow1
	Something I didn't tell you.... (Preview)	jaja	3	364	Nov 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	It's progress...Not perfection (Preview) I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...	Jerry F	2	470	Nov 10, 2006 by twinkie
	HP Uses Alcohol in Mysterious Ways??? (Preview) I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...	Becky1	11	655	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Symptoms of Inner Peace (Preview) Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of confli...	Peggy7	6	551	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Not Sorting Right (Preview) ((friends)) Not sure if it is just me or what but even though I have message board set to sort by start date it keeps sorting by last post. This is really messing with my head.	lebe27	2	250	Nov 10, 2006 by nal
	The A and Control & Prayer Request (Preview) Well, my A and I were supposed to be able to talk about all that has been going on. He turned his phone off, it was on long enough to check messages and didn't deposit any of his paycheck into the bank. I know I am supposed to believe that my HP will provide, but it's so hard right now, my ph...	marmare	7	520	Nov 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	moving forward (Preview) I would like to start marriage counseling, but I am not sure if it is too soon. AH has said taht he is willing to go, he knows we have much to work through. I am afraid that it may be too soon and am also afraid of what I may hear. I have slept on the couch a couple of times in the past few weeks a...	ShelBell	4	308	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Reward the Active A for a good day? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I guess this sounds strange. But what are your thoughts on doing something special for an Active A who participates in a family outing without drinking? For some, that may not sound to out of the ordinary, but for us it is not. In a way I want to throw a big 'ol party, bu...	rtexas	19	542	Nov 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	Just realizing how sick he is (Preview) I had to try one more time so I calmly told my AH how sad I was and how his drinking was destroying our 30+ marriage. I told him that I have meet wonderful people at an open AA meeting and if he ever wanted to he could talk to one of them. He thanked me and I foolishly hoped he would atleast try and reconnec...	Elizabeth M	3	340	Nov 9, 2006 by AndiLynn
	Holiday Concerns CLARIFICATION!!!!!!! (Preview) Ok, here's the whole situation. The kids are 12/7/4. The AH has a home with no power or running water (no toilet use). My point was... I feel the need to stay home so that he can be with them rather than making my own plans. He is not taking the kids anywhere. He is no...	carolinagirl	3	271	Nov 9, 2006 by abbyal
	frustrating behaviour (Preview) Dear all, I know I am going to sound selfish typing this but I just need to vent. I have had the most awful afternoon, having to verify a hotel room that I have paid for in the UK. This was booked last August fully paid for, I have the voucher with all the number, the travel agents are legitimate and the fly i...	maire rua	5	260	Nov 9, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Need Guidance (Preview) My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...	Tryin2havfaith	8	495	Nov 9, 2006 by Tryin2havfaith
	Trying to break the cycle (Preview) Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...	Elizabeth M	1	318	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
	What I do for me, sticky Eden (Preview) Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...	debilyn	6	424	Nov 9, 2006 by tiredtonite
	Holiday Concerns Looking for ESH!!! (Preview) OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...	carolinagirl	4	422	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Feelings of undeserving (Preview) "I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...	Tiger2006	10	587	Nov 9, 2006 by Christy
	UPDATE (Preview) Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...	carolinagirl	5	293	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Am i crossing the line? (Preview) My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...	valentine	5	349	Nov 9, 2006 by valentine
	I wonder (Preview) Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...	debilyn	11	446	Nov 9, 2006 by irish54
	Relationships with others (Preview) Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...	carolinagirl	4	330	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
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