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Am I stupid???
(Preview)
My husband went to rehab 3 weeks ago - he said he was sick and tired of drinking. Why do I not fully believe him?? He has been drinking throughout our marriage of 22 years but last year he started drinking heavily. During the 1st weekend while he was at rehab my 2 older children and I went to their family pr...
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CriedOut2
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13
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736
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how do you protect yourself from yourself?
(Preview)
As soon as I wake up, he is on my mind. My ex and who he is with. The adrenline rushes and I am AWAKE! How can I stop this being the very first thing that pops into my mind? It fades over the day as I get a grip and am able to work this program, use the suggestions and slogans. I feel like I have no control over my min...
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serendipity
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17
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645
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Peaceful Evening
(Preview)
All, I went back to the "how alanon works for families and friends of A" page 36, "sharing" and was reminded how I need to share both my pain my ESH. For a long time, I felt like I had no ESH, especially with alcohol. I would like to share about my many months of pondering, analyzing...
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renah
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1
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404
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Why can't he leave me alone?
(Preview)
Hi, After so many years of putting up with AH and his abuse and neglect. I am finally divorcing him. After so many years of being miserable I had finally been happy and relieved. I had reconnected with a wonderful man from my past, who treats me so well and makes me happy. Of course as usual the other shoe ha...
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Jeannie
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8
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655
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Feeling BLAH....
(Preview)
Lately I have been feeling confused about what I need to do to make a better life for my kids and I, confused by the choices that need to be made and all of them are difficult. If I don't go back to school we don't make it, if I do go back to school I have to continue working while I take prerequisites and my olde...
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carolinagirl
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3
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357
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It Worked!!
(Preview)
Thank you all for all of the great suggestions on my post yesterday. They were all so helpful and just to see in black and white that I am not the only person to ever go thru this or feel this way. That there are things I can do to help myself. I am going to print that post and replies out so I can continue to use t...
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serendipity
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2
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358
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cops again
(Preview)
Well my A b/f got out of jail @ 1 today. I didn't bail him out or even answer his 50 calls from jail. I was very proud of myself! He called and said that he was coming over to get his stuff out.. he showed up drunk. I was nice to him until his attitude kicked in. I got the kids out and left him alone! He called his x w...
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steppgirl
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5
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472
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Looking for Blue Eyes: to MalCN
(Preview)
Looking for Blue Eyes by Crystal Gayle: "I'm looking for blue eyes, I can't seem to find him, he 's been away now, for so long..." (probably my interpretation....does anybody know the real lines to this song...can't get it out of my head...") My first A husband and I married at a very y...
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java
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1
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523
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Update on my son, Bryon
(Preview)
For my MIP family, I just wanted to give you all an update! Bryon had is final port removal surgery and is recoverying very well! We are almost done w/monthly visits and then will be moving on to quarterly visits. I am SO excited! I was able to get some pic's of his pre and post surgery, so if you would li...
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smpoli
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5
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417
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Do I Belong Here?
(Preview)
My husband used to be a serious alcoholic, before we met, and alcoholism runs heavily in his family AND culture. He has slowed down a LOT...he drinks on a regular basis, but only a beer or two...but occassionally he gets drunk. Between his familys' history of alcoholism and his own compromised liver (...
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RoseChix
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7
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648
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Huge strides then BAM!!!!!!! So confused!!!
(Preview)
Just as I'm making huge strides in a positive direction, having fewer tough days-- BAM!! My A tries to come crawling back to me... begging me for my forgiveness and admitting that he made a mistake!! Telling me how much he misses and loves me... Asking me go to dinner... Telling me that I was th...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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7
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538
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help please
(Preview)
My A boyfriend, that lives with me, came home from AA drunk. He said that he didn't like what was said. He got angry with me cause I wouldn't talk to him cause he had been drinking. I told him to leave and he started packing a bag. Then he kept talking in front of my 15 yr old and his 5 yr old. I told him that I was ca...
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steppgirl
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3
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564
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THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING HERE...I WISH YOU WELL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) As you know the last few months have been horrendous for me.. And I have had to do some growing up....Now I have come to the conclusion, I need to put Ally first for a change..I have spent my whole life, being a caretaker, people pleaser, doormat, etc....I can no lo...
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ally
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5
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492
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just a thank you
(Preview)
The responses helped so much. I learned lots. After I read those and reposted the Eden happenings I felt lighter. Now feel even more so. Slowly the darkness is going away. I do see now that there are things I never may heal from. That what aism can do is damage us. All the more reason to use our alanon skills...
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debilyn
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2
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334
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Am I Here?
(Preview)
Am having a bad day & trying so hard to live the mantra "this too will pass". I have lived with my A for almost 14 years but don't know what to call him as we're not married & now he ignores me so I can't think of him as even a boyfriend the closest word I think is a roomate. He was so wonderful...
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hopefully
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4
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437
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Interview went well...
(Preview)
I made it to the interview alive today it was a 3 hour drive!! Everything went well although I'm still not sure if I will even take the job if offered. I am starting to feel sick again and thinking I feel sick more than well lately. I sent a letter to the A and it wasn't very nice but it wasn't really mean eit...
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carolinagirl
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1
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390
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My Alcoholic or my qualifier
(Preview)
Hey guys I hope all is well. I've been reading a little, but not posting much, and I have to mention something that I have seen on this forum that I have not seen in ANY al anon meetings that I go to. (Fortunately for me I live in an area that has many, many meetings) Anyway none of us ever use the term &...
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Moon
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7
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3431
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Shoulda,Coulda, Woulda's
(Preview)
Hi Family, Well, as normal, any holiday or celebration seems to dredge back all those old memories and dreams. Mother's Day was no exception for me either. My 18 yr old daughter (grandaughter I raised) is ready to graduate the 25th; which is exactly 40 yrs from the day I graduated and my birthday. Eve...
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irish54
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3
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441
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I AM OBSESSED
(Preview)
(((((((((((GUYS))))))))))))))))) I have finally admitted I am "Obsessed" with the A in my life. For a long time the word obsession was scarey to me....I have Obsessional Compulsive Disorder (OCD). But I thought It was related to objects, not people...lol So I have been watching my beha...
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ally
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7
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462
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Ignore it...it'll go away!
(Preview)
If he ignores it, then it will go away. Is this a typical A trait? I lost my beloved Boston Terrier a couple of months back. She was 14, lived a wonderfully happy life, and now she is gone. I have come to the point where I would love to have another Boston. We have a Jack Russell who is still grieving, and so am I...
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Diva
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16
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519
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Is this what it's like?
(Preview)
I am feeling ok today. I have been feeling better. I'm having bad moments rather than bad days. I still have this feeling in my heart of pain, grief is the best way to describe it. I am still scared. But I am doing things to take care of myself. Like not filling the hole with sick people, men. Not doing thing...
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serendipity
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6
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556
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Touched by angels
(Preview)
The A never contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday nor Happy Mother's Day. I checked my e-mail and someone I never thought would wish me a happy birthday did. He said he hoped all my dreams come true. I started crying because he had no idea how much this meant. I had plans to visit my Mom today. My stepfathe...
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kissers
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3
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349
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Sometimes love is not enough
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) I am in a bad place tonight. I know I will push through it, but it just has been a rough day. It's mothers day... and we have a decent day with my AW. Small gift that my Son picked out, roses from me and a card. She liked it. Out to eat and then... she says well, time to go. And she goe...
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rtexas
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12
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711
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Afraid to go to meetings.... answer
(Preview)
I have hundreds of reasons NOT to go to a f2f meeting, thousands of excuses. I know I need to go, but I am afraid, I know there are people who need it more than me, those with active A's at home, blah blah blah. I just afraid to go. Talking to people here, many have said the same, they too were afraid to go at firs...
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Eve Eve Eve
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10
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794
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Codependence
(Preview)
Every thursday, my husband's rehab has a family group night. They always have a different topic, and last night's was codependence. Some of the traits of codependence are: The need to always take care of an A; to take the world on your shoulders the protect them; low self esteem; feeling that someh...
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sash
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9
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573
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Interviewing on Monday
(Preview)
I decided to take the interview just to see if I am even offered the position. I will tell them that I have one week to hear from them or I will be registering for school and then it will be too late. If they do offer then I will write down all my questions about the move and make sure they are all answered befo...
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carolinagirl
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5
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483
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Guilt... need some ESH
(Preview)
(((Friends))) As I earlier posted I have been working hard setting those boundaries with my AH. It has done well for me and I feel good about myself and good about where I'm at in life right now. My AH does not feel good, everytime I get on the phone with him he sings the blues about where he's at in life. I...
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twinmom2
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7
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584
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For all the Mums
(Preview)
A Mum is God's love in action. She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes. A Mum is the bank where children deposit all their worries and hurt. A Mum is the cement that holds her family together and her love lasts a lifetime. Send this on to a good Mum I just did. ((()) to all of you and the Dads out there wh...
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leo
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2
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406
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(Preview)
I just wanted to wish all the Moms out there the best Mother's Day ever! I know how good it feels to be remembered for all we have done and try to do every day for our kids. It's not an easy job, that's for sure. Hats off to all of you wonderful Moms! Kathi
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lmt123
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7
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350
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Busy Eden story
(Preview)
Wrote this before the sad came. Reading it again almost made me realize things will be ok...so out I go to unload another two yards of shavings....come on over, I have lotsa good food!! nice place to camp...bring your kids and dogs and whoever.....(c: Well a friend got me a pair of Frizzles! And also 6 Co...
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debilyn
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2
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545
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BACK TO BEING ALLY
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))))) First day back at work today after 4 months off on the sick....Wow...same ole, same ole....Like riding a bike eh!.... But hey, I'm back caring for the sick..My forte.........Feeling tired already and I've only done first half of shift...lol Going ba...
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ally
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3
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428
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thank u all
(Preview)
Hey (((all))) Bit of a weird day for me. Dad was my A and 8yrs ago today I guess he went on a drunken drug binge and overdosed (fatally). I have only joined alanon recently but have already felt the difference...whenever I come in here I feel all of your warmth and understanding. For that reason, this year...
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Lena
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3
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278
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(Preview)
(((((((Family))))), To all the MIP mothers: HAPPY, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! May your day be filled with love, laughter, sunshine and your favorite foods. Thanks for all your love and support. Raising a family isn't easy under the best of circumstances. You all do it with grace and courage. What an i...
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Karilynn
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5
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403
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Another great animal minute...
(Preview)
Sea lion joins walk-a-thon in Calif. CORTE MADERA, Calif. - He has flippers instead of feet and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn't stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon. ADVERTISEMENT if(window.yzq_d==null)window.yzq_d=new Object(); window.yzq_d[...
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Tiger2006
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0
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2069
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Letting go of the past
(Preview)
I think I became a person who either lived in the past or well into the future. The five year relationship with my addict moved through a progression of my launching into "fixit" mode, then the response of persecutor, followed by victim. Looking back at it I think that the five year affair wi...
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poppingin
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3
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556
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Today is such a difficult day..............
(Preview)
Today has been a very hard day for me. I have missed my husband so much. I know that I did the right thing by asking him to leave but MAN, my heart is BROKEN in pieces.. He has taken everything this time and it is so final... A divorce is on the horizon and even though I know that it is the right thing it is one of...
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Tammy
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5
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553
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Seeing Alcoholic or Druggie in so many strangers
(Preview)
This is so weird and WRONG and maybe just goes to show how badly having an A in my life has had a negative effect on me. Every where I go, I see people I have never met and think to myself "Drunk" or "Druggie". I am judging complete strangers simply by the way they look. And it makes me...
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QOD
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10
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528
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First Mother's Day without Mom
(Preview)
I thought I would be okay, I mean Mother's Day is just another day, right? Not this year, this year I don't look forward to it like before, as there will be no kiss on mom's cheek for me, no early morning call to her house, no little gift to give her. This week has been the hardest since she got her wings.......
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marmare
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10
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578
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Broken hearted but no longer devasted
(Preview)
.. -- Edited by donewithitallandhappy at 01:14, 2007-05-14
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donewithitallandhappy
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0
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379
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Living without my A....
(Preview)
Life without my husband has been difficult. I miss him so much but know that I am doing the right thing not allowing his disease to rule my life. I havent seen him for over a week although I have spoken to him. I hear his voice and chills go up my spine. Will the love ever go away? Or at least the chills sub...
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Tammy
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3
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407
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Doing so well without my A, then the clouds roll in
(Preview)
I've been doing so good these past few weeks!! Keeping busy going out with friends, attending family functions, going to my childrens sporting events and doing things for me. Today tho, well, its a dreary day and I've been thinking a lot about my ex A b/f. Remembering all our good times, reliving the...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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3
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394
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I got the order
(Preview)
I have the order that the A has to return the truck to me. I doubt he will. I think he will just take off with it. Nevertheless i did send him a clear clear message you can't just take it. I feel exhausted and alone and sad. I would so appreciate your prayers. I am still waiting on this job. I am so fed up wit...
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maresie2
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6
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439
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1000 posts and my lucky penny
(Preview)
(((((Everyone))))) My Mother came into town today and said she wanted to stop by my office and bring me something from my Father (AFather 25 years sober if you haven't heard the stories). Well the gift was a lucky penny. If you stop reading now thinking "yeah so what" you will miss out. He f...
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rtexas
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12
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738
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Birthday Girl!!!
(Preview)
Guess What???? We have another birthday girl!!!! Happy Birthday to Kismetstrand!!! Congratulations on catching up with me girl!!! Happy Birthday, Love, SenoraBob
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bob6502
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15
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574
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Cross-Talk
(Preview)
Hi family, I haven't written much, lately, yet I still come and read about every night. I love you all very much, and am so proud of all the great progress and AUTHENTIC/GENUINE care, love, and support. I have noticed, also, that there is quite a bit of crosstalking happening. For the program newbies...
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CJ
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24
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7018
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Does "fear" rule your life?
(Preview)
I can remember when "fear" ruled my life, every thing was that gut wrenching oh no now what? And even when things were quiet and calm, I would think of scenarios in my head along with my( committee which was always present), that surely something dreadful is going to happen. Was he going to ki...
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gardengal
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6
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1150
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The Word WAIT (poem)
(Preview)
The Word WAIT- "Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live the...
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wallsal55
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3
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320
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felt your prayers tonight
(Preview)
I know it was y'all. I had over an hour of true peace at work tonight. I was right there focused on what I was doing. I felt good, like myself, "he" was so far from my mind. I actually forgot about him for that time. I know it was because of your prayers and love and understanding. Thank you all. I n...
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serendipity
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4
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372
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Barisax???
(Preview)
what the heck is fos????? lilms
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lilms
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10
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528
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Maybe I'm getting "unbound"
(Preview)
First,thank you to you guys who responded to my "D" word post earlier today. It truly has helped. I also wanted to share about something I read today that really shed some light, really brought my situation into focus. It spoke of the elusiveness of an A and how they can disappear, and ...
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jaja
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2
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576
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Getting out of the Matrix
(Preview)
Hello (((((Family)))))) Got into a great discussion with a friend today and wanted to share some of it. In a nutshell, I was talking about how for most of my life I lived with this protective....well lets call it a nutshell!....wrapped around me. This shell protected me from the effects of the outsid...
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david62
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3
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537
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this too will pass
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My story is that I seperated from my Abf six months ago. The relationship was turning me into a hateful person. I felt to seperate was the only way I could cope. It was the best thing to do, for both of us. Despite this decision we love each other very much. Since then I have been feeling somewha...
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annmarie
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6
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412
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Brick Wall
(Preview)
It took me years to realize I was banging my head against a brick wall. I tried to stop on my own and it took me even more time to acknowledge that I can't do it myself. I had a big breakthrough when I got so desperate, that I finally allowed myself to reach out for help from people in recovery! This week I h...
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Leetle
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4
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445
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Hi.....Alanon....opportunities....Health....
(Preview)
Hi....Haven't popped in....in ages. But, I guess our recovery path takes us many, many, many places! It has been a wild carpet ride for me.....just like they said it would be. Oh......I've been in spots, I didn't want to go....and still do! But, I cannot tell you from going from complete isol...
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wallsal55
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0
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257
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Just a share....
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))) The other week I was about to leave my drive to go out to dinner when my car died. That was okay, for whatever reason I wasn't suppose to go. So the next day I had it towed, only we had a wicked Northeastern sweep the south and when the tow truck arrived I saw him pull around something......
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Lunamoth
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7
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528
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Job and move...
(Preview)
Yesterday I commented on someone elses post about how I would love a raise sign and then last night I got a call about a job in a new town that would end up paying less per hr. but more overall. I have been debating whether to interview or not since it's a day's drive there and back. I have decided to go. Als...
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carolinagirl
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4
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462
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|
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Hearing your own story...
(Preview)
Funny, since I have been here I have heard so many stories, most have many many similarities but there are a few of you that I read and think did I write that under my other personality? LOL There are 4 of you in particular that I can think of who I read and I think this is my life and I can't tell you how helpfu...
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carolinagirl
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1
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416
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Credit Card Fraud or Guilty AH???
(Preview)
I have been wanting to post this all week but didn't know exactly what to say. My thoughts on it are a bit tangled. Maybe y'all can give me some ESH that will help me. My AH has been home for the last month. He hasn't used drugs since he got out of jail 2 months ago. While he was off on his several binges earli...
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QOD
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8
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634
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Courage 2 Change 11th May
(Preview)
This is todays reading in the c2c.....I thought I would post this, for anyone who does not have that book... "Just For Today" Ally Girl -- Edited by tea2 at 09:49, 2007-05-11
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ally
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2
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388
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Update
(Preview)
Hi (((everyone))) I hope this finds you all well. I have been off the board for a while, dealing with work, home children and a new life. After all these years I completely split with and am divorcing my AH. I cannot even begin to tell you how free I feel. Like a huge anvil has been lifted off my head. Several...
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Jeannie
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7
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557
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