Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

((((Roomies))) I posted this initially in response to Java's post on Wasted Time, but wanted to repost it here for thoughts, reflections, and responses. I shared last night at my F2F about fear and I have since felt some healing in this area for me. Here's the jist of my spiritual learning... Recently...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have someone who has offered to be my sponsor. Her AH became sober 17 yrs ago and never looked back. Thus, she hasn't been to Al-anon in a long time and is not sure how to sponsor, and I'm not sure how to work the program. Are there any "directions" so we can figure this out together? Thanks, L...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))))))))) I'm learning to detach, and omg, Im doing it...lol It's really weird, everyday I am seeing another defect the Recovering A in my life has...He is NOT perfect....This has taken me a long number of years to get here....I have detached from him, phsicall...

debilyn · debilyn

Where are you? What happened with your goats? How are you and kids and A? I miss hearing from you. Please do not disappear. I am hoping you are ok. love,debilyn

maresie2 · maresie2

The A is staill saying with the brother. He is at wits end over his behavior. He said he kicked him out but I thnk he has doen that in the past and the A still went back. I have no idea how or where he is living in the day. I can only imagine he is staying in the brother's room totally depressed and desperate a...

debilyn · debilyn

I want to ask everyone to post and update us! We are a HUGE family. I don't want anyone to feel they have fallen thru the cracks and think we don't care. It is hard when we cannot see each other. I wonder if we have a list of members nics... well that should be a question someone asks ME...oops... have to chec...

Gailey · Gailey

but...I don't. It is all out of my control. I was just talking to A son on the phone. He expressed that "if this is what life is all about I hope I don't live too many more years". Working in a career that he does not want to be in anymore (chef) but knows nothing else. Paying more child support tha...

pabell · pabell

I'm not even sure where to begin, or how, so much has happend... My husband is an alcoholic, he has been sober for 5 months. (this is the longest time ever in the last 22 years) When the kids were younger I thought I could handle it. I could do it all, cover things up, make things ok. I actually remember thin...

maresie2 · maresie2

he is now living in the truck with the two dogs. He has no money and no place to stay. When I heard this last night I just about collapsed. I had the feeling last time I saw him that the dogs were spending a lot of time in the truck. I had no idea they were staying there. What this means is (a) I can...

greta · greta

This was a meeting topic today at my ftf. What a great topic it was. What is esh? Why do we share only esh and not give advice? I was reminded of how I felt before I had children, that I felt when you had children acting up in a public place you should get them under control or leave. LOL the first time we we...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Hi, I know I should not be getting caught up in the whole 'has he been drinking' thing. But last weekend my ex came and picked me up in the morning and as we got out of the car I caught a waft, a familiar sort of fruity alcohol smell. I thought he had stopped and he said he had. Of course I know that it's very po...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello everyone! (((((((((MIP)))))))))) I haven't been posting for a while. I have been going thru so much, learning to be me again. and do what I want without having to answer to my A living with me. It is hard, and I hurt inside, but I have hope I will get thru this. I am sure you all realize that my A and I ar...

nycbt · nycbt

My husband has hep c, which has caused him to not be interested in me sexual. It is very hard to deal with that. I have a started to talk to another guy and give him interst by flirting with him, but not have sex with him. I like the attention the guy is giving me. My husband has told me that it is not me or my weigh...

babysteps · babysteps

A week ago Friday my AH opened his own checking account with the deal that he would get $50 per week for gas and extraneous expenses. We did this so he would stop taking $15-20 per day from our bill paying account. So we put $50 in the account the day we opened it (Friday), then Monday he said he would prefer t...

Demilas · Demilas

I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...

java · java

"There is no such thing as wasted time. It's just what we went through to get to where we are. Sometimes I look down the road at where I 've been and where I want to go. There is so much ahead for you and me. I ended up just where I was meant to be. Don't regret what's left behind. There are chances we must...

debilyn · debilyn

Our MIP alanon message board depends on our focus to be on alanon principles. If we feel hurt or don't agree with each other, the best thing to do is to pm and talk in an adult manner. Being open to talk it out. We all may be understood, or say something unintentionally. We are human. However, We do not attac...

maresie2 · maresie2

for 7 years I have been dealing with the A;s messes. I knew if I was ever to break away from him it would be an unholy mess. There is no quesition it is. I had to take off yesterday from my part time job to process documents. Now I have to do the same tonight. It costs me a fortune to fax, send stuff by courier an...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I was able to get some good work done in the condo and have some mommy time to myself. Today, got my back molar pulled, had to go to oral surgeon to get put under, apparently it was very nasty. Lately I'm just realizing that I'm meeting my needs by fu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

How do you cut yourself some slack? How do you give youself a break? How do you show yourself love? I don't think it's news--at least not to me, it isn't, that I'm awfully unnecesarily hard on myself. So how do you? Or, do you, at all?

david62 · david62

Happy Sunday ((((family)))) Down here in Texas it is a beautiful day indeed! I have the windows opened up and can hear the lovely sounds of the doves cooing and the other birdies chirping. My friend Norbert the cat and I were just hanging out on my front porch enjoying the day. Me in my chair, him in my lap....

shadow1 · shadow1

Dealing with loss has been in my life lately. I have lost my alcoholic husband of 22 years to this terrible disease, I have lost a very good friend with a misunderstanding and now Im forced to deal with the death of my baby brother in law. While loosing my husband to this disease is a difficult thing to dea...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I thought of all the issues I keep struggling with, mostly financial, mostly related to Aism. I felt like I kept trying to block problems before they became huge but that that I was never going to be able to do it. This image came into my mind. I'm the Scrat, the acorn is my good thing. The water is all the pro...

Patches · Patches

I have a question about boundaries. After holding an intervention in the fall of 2005, my father went through an inpatient treatment program. He was doing pretty well, although he did not believe it necessary to follow up with an after-care program (AA). In any event, he has relapsed (no big su...

ditto · ditto

Hi Guys, I divorced my a husband almost a year ago. We weren't married very long and I haven't posted to this board in a little while, although I do read it. I have been pretty much alone this past year healing from the mental, verbal and physical abuse heaped on me by my a. Every so often a man will ask me ou...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I broke down and did it. I spent the weekend with my ex A b/f. After much hesitation, I agreed to this because I needed closure once and for all. After all, thats all I've been wanting for months now. I went into the weekend with my guard up, at attention, more thank its ever been before!! The only '...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I lived with the A I was mostly numb and overwhelmed. That is how I dealt with it. I was also of course immensely depressed and sad and angry. I was always fighting with him over somethng. The other thing I was always doing of course was begging him, remonstrating and asking him to behave. He did t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had a birthday party for my middle child Saturday (nobody showed up) and got a letter from my A in jail. I read it and while waiting for non-existent guests I wrote back the perfect letter. I was so angry after reading his letter which was full of whining and blaming and just plain bs. I was compelled t...

Kim65 · Kim65

Well, days. Several goats got into the chicken scratch and pigged out. My best milker (in my avatar) was dead this morning with an orphaned baby. Two others need constant care, there is goat diarrhea everywhere. Of course my A is off on a binge, not that he could have been helpful other than to run in...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Hard to believe it was a year ago that hubby was still drinking. A year ago I sent him packing because I could no longer live with an active alcoholic. It wasn't easy. I love my husband so much. But I was determined not to let him back until he had at least 90 days recovery under his be...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I tried to describe it in the meeting, and couldn't. It was the feeling like you're a fraud, and any minute now, "they're gonna find you out." That you're not that talented, not that smart, not that good, not enough in any way shape and form. And yup, you're gonna agree, all evidence to the co...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I am new to this board and have attended f2f meetings for about 2 months now, but I haven't had to courage to talk about this aspect in that setting. From what I have read, infidelity is not an uncommon issue with the A. The woman my AH had an affair with is also is an A and his relationship with her was absol...

confused · confused

Rainy Jaime's post got me thinking about youtube clips and which one would fit me. Mine would have to be the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I am the knight who gets all his limbs severed and keeps going back for more..."tis just a flesh wound" What would yours be????

ally · ally

((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) I saw this on another board, and It really struck a chord with me..I thought I would share it with you. One junior high school boy confided in another his love for a certain girl. The first boy asked the second one to keep his secret. By the end of the school day, the r...

melamom815 · melamom815

I have been going over and over in my mind about something that I have to get out atleast in writing so I can maybe muddle through it better. Also, recieving some ESH would be great. My AH has been sober since the middle of Feb. I am very proud and happy for him for doing this for himself. He is working a gre...

kissers · kissers

After being through a few relationships with A's and facing my lonlieness, I have detached so much that I can go weeks without seeing someone I am dating. It feels like my heart has turned to stone. I feel like I just don't care anymore. A man I was recently dating called me and said he couldn't date me anym...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

"Part of my A's program was to not lie. To face truths and conflict. When he did, he realized it was not as bad as he had always thought." -debilyn RE: More on Dry Drunks Goodness gracious, just like I say it in my dreams. The problem is not the specifically the alcohol, it's the parallel b...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex called me today after he was done with the lawyer. He signed the divorce papers that state he will be allowed supervised visitation. So, he called and said he is now ready to make arrangements with me to see the kids. I said nothing and just hung up. He acted as if nothing was wrong. As if his behavior...

DelilahJones · DelilahJones

and I really don't think he will for a long time. I've been really clear with him for the past 2 months about my feelings in this relationship and what I want. Last Friday I told him that on Tuesday I was giving our 30 day notice and moving with the kids and he'd have to find another place to live on his own. I...

heather · heather

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with myself being angry at my husband. He hasn't done anything recently but I think I am bitter for all the past. He has said sorry in the heat of the moment but I didn't believe him. Now he is clean and going to meetings I think I need to hear him say he is sorry again. I...

DelilahJones · DelilahJones

I've told my A that I'm giving 30 days notice to the landlord and I'm moving with the kids to my dad's house (he passed away in Oct and my sisters and I are going to co-own it and I will live there) and he needs to find a place to go. I don't think he still really "get's it" and probably won't till Ju...

janey225 · janey225

Hello All I am a bit confused today. My AH stopped by to see the kids last night on the way to an AA meeting. I wasn't excited to see him. I was happy but not oveerly excited. I wasn't sad that he couldn't stay long. It was almost a relief when he left. I want him to come home when he isn't here. I miss him. But aft...

smpoli · smpoli

You may be wondering, what in the world is ingrown eyeballs. I have to tell ya, I just heard about this one yesterday! Think about an ingrown nail. Your nail is supposed to grow out and straight. When it grows inward, wrapped and backwards, it starts to hurt. It is tender, and doesn't feel very good a...

debilyn · debilyn

Lady please respond I am very concerned. I know you have no one in the USA to help you. Please please..... love,debilyn

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Roomies, I could really use some ES&H on family cut-offs and silent treatments. My parents had a messy divorce and when my Afather began threatening her, my mother cut all contact with him. As a result, my siblings and I didn't have contact with him either. Then, seven years ago my brother sea...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"I didn't see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head. It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." Ryan Lipscomb, a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, on being hit by a delivery truck after he fell from his bike. Lipscomb, who wore a helmet, suffe...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hello fellow (((((Alanons))))) Yesterday I was channel surfing and I stopped on a program where a motivational speaker was speaking.It was near the end of the program and he said something that has stayed with me. He said " let go or be dragged" I started thinking about this.I got a visual i...

Tammy · Tammy

I was doing so good then CRASH-BAM-BOOM !! Now, I am so sad !! I wanted so desperately for things to work out but it just isnt going to .. He is living about 10 minutes from our home and I just cant stop thinking about who he is with and what he is doing.. None of which I can control and I know that. Unfortunate...

Eve Eve Eve · Eve Eve Eve

I finally went to my first f2f meeting. There were torential rain downpooring, I am not a good driver, don't know my way around exept to work, my daughters school, and her job. The route to meeting same as route to work, great eh? WRONG,,,,,,,,,, traffic was blocked, there was an accident, so had to find...

andrea · andrea

Hi everyone, it's been a little while since I wrote, things are looking up, but there is only one thing, my son will be moving out with his grand mother, I need to know was are the symtoms of witdrawl from cocaine? I need an answer as soon as possible, so I can do damage control before it starts, thanks, an...

sash · sash

If a person is not particularly spiritual, has trouble with faith or is not comfortable with spirituality, what would they use as a HP?

Idealsummerluv · Idealsummerluv

Hello, I guess parts of me will always be in denial. My husband has been sober six years. Thank God. And I do thank God for his sobriety. He has no program. I don't know how many meetings he went to. He said the only time he thinks about beer is when he went to meetings because that is what...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes the anger within me is too much for me to bare alone. I get angry at the fact my husband became an A, left and is drinking his life away with another A. I get angry when I think of what "could have been", the promises and the dreams we talked about, and he just continued to drink. When I ge...

maire rua · maire rua

At present A is living with me after being ill in January, no he has not moved back home yet. My eldest son is coming home in two weeks from college and he will probably, hopefully move back home to his own place then which is in an awful state, no I have not gone there and cleaned it up. I have a lot of work at pre...

Maria123 · Maria123

I want to make a difference and so I share this: http://www.stservicemovie.com/ Copy and paste into a new window. love in recovery, Maria

Karaokejacky · Karaokejacky

For a while now I have been struggling woth how to deal with the behaviors and attitudes of my addict husband. Let me begin at the beginning.... We have been married for 18 years, have two sons and he has been an addict all this time. Although I didn't know he did " crack cocaine" until we had bee...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, Well, life is a challenge. Everything was kinda of ok but 2 weeks ago things changed. My mother's intuition told me to go visit my son in the military. His dad agreed to go with me and we agreed to focus on our son and not let our current relationship get in the way. We found him in a much differe...

lilms · lilms

((((((Friends)))))) I have noticed a few posts on anger in the past while. This is my anger management technique. I really use it and for me it really works. I had to laugh when I was that it came with "steps". Can't seem to get away from the dang things Enjoy all, lilms Subject: Stress Man...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

I am stuggling on how to handle something and could use a little input from anyone who feels they could help. Here is my dilemma: My step daughter has asked to take my 14 year old to a rock concert. The reason I have reservation about this is because I am angry with my step daughter right now. My AH (her f...

debilyn · debilyn

deb need help hen i cant write anything on the board it keeps telling me a runtime error and shuts down both message bboard and chat any ideas? I got this pm from Belle1. I don't know how to help. I researched it and told her where to look on the internet. does anyone know for sure? She is in Scotland and need...

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Healing Time (Preview) ((((Roomies))) I posted this initially in response to Java's post on Wasted Time, but wanted to repost it here for thoughts, reflections, and responses. I shared last night at my F2F about fear and I have since felt some healing in this area for me. Here's the jist of my spiritual learning... Recently...	BlueCloud	2	456	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	How to be a sponsor.. (Preview) I have someone who has offered to be my sponsor. Her AH became sober 17 yrs ago and never looked back. Thus, she hasn't been to Al-anon in a long time and is not sure how to sponsor, and I'm not sure how to work the program. Are there any "directions" so we can figure this out together? Thanks, L...	Loupiness	2	560	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	TIRED BUT STILL SMILING (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))))))))) I'm learning to detach, and omg, Im doing it...lol It's really weird, everyday I am seeing another defect the Recovering A in my life has...He is NOT perfect....This has taken me a long number of years to get here....I have detached from him, phsicall...	ally	3	545	May 23, 2007 by wp
	Farmlady kim????? (Preview) Where are you? What happened with your goats? How are you and kids and A? I miss hearing from you. Please do not disappear. I am hoping you are ok. love,debilyn	debilyn	1	419	May 23, 2007 by Kim65
	more news (Preview) The A is staill saying with the brother. He is at wits end over his behavior. He said he kicked him out but I thnk he has doen that in the past and the A still went back. I have no idea how or where he is living in the day. I can only imagine he is staying in the brother's room totally depressed and desperate a...	maresie2	3	650	May 23, 2007 by Barbs45
	Every once in awhile.... (Preview) I want to ask everyone to post and update us! We are a HUGE family. I don't want anyone to feel they have fallen thru the cracks and think we don't care. It is hard when we cannot see each other. I wonder if we have a list of members nics... well that should be a question someone asks ME...oops... have to chec...	debilyn	0	408	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	wishing I had answers for him..... (closed) (Preview) but...I don't. It is all out of my control. I was just talking to A son on the phone. He expressed that "if this is what life is all about I hope I don't live too many more years". Working in a career that he does not want to be in anymore (chef) but knows nothing else. Paying more child support tha...	Gailey	2	593	May 23, 2007 by Rita G
	teenage boy (Preview) I'm not even sure where to begin, or how, so much has happend... My husband is an alcoholic, he has been sober for 5 months. (this is the longest time ever in the last 22 years) When the kids were younger I thought I could handle it. I could do it all, cover things up, make things ok. I actually remember thin...	pabell	4	505	May 23, 2007 by pabell
	latest catastrophe (Preview) he is now living in the truck with the two dogs. He has no money and no place to stay. When I heard this last night I just about collapsed. I had the feeling last time I saw him that the dogs were spending a lot of time in the truck. I had no idea they were staying there. What this means is (a) I can...	maresie2	11	699	May 23, 2007 by maresie2
	Experience, Strength and Hope (Preview) This was a meeting topic today at my ftf. What a great topic it was. What is esh? Why do we share only esh and not give advice? I was reminded of how I felt before I had children, that I felt when you had children acting up in a public place you should get them under control or leave. LOL the first time we we...	greta	3	546	May 23, 2007 by Rita G
	Alcohol smell mystery (Preview) Hi, I know I should not be getting caught up in the whole 'has he been drinking' thing. But last weekend my ex came and picked me up in the morning and as we got out of the car I caught a waft, a familiar sort of fruity alcohol smell. I thought he had stopped and he said he had. Of course I know that it's very po...	mama_nz	8	1365	May 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	Learning to let go and be free to be me....ESH requested (Preview) Hello everyone! (((((((((MIP)))))))))) I haven't been posting for a while. I have been going thru so much, learning to be me again. and do what I want without having to answer to my A living with me. It is hard, and I hurt inside, but I have hope I will get thru this. I am sure you all realize that my A and I ar...	hippietrippiechick	3	639	May 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	having a hard time (Preview) My husband has hep c, which has caused him to not be interested in me sexual. It is very hard to deal with that. I have a started to talk to another guy and give him interst by flirting with him, but not have sex with him. I like the attention the guy is giving me. My husband has told me that it is not me or my weigh...	nycbt	3	600	May 23, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Finances and the A (Preview) A week ago Friday my AH opened his own checking account with the deal that he would get $50 per week for gas and extraneous expenses. We did this so he would stop taking $15-20 per day from our bill paying account. So we put $50 in the account the day we opened it (Friday), then Monday he said he would prefer t...	babysteps	3	593	May 23, 2007 by harmony
	I messed up - now what? (Preview) I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...	Demilas	8	692	May 23, 2007 by harmony
	Wasted Time (Preview) "There is no such thing as wasted time. It's just what we went through to get to where we are. Sometimes I look down the road at where I 've been and where I want to go. There is so much ahead for you and me. I ended up just where I was meant to be. Don't regret what's left behind. There are chances we must...	java	11	1597	May 22, 2007 by tea2
	Alanon hopes (closed) (Preview) Our MIP alanon message board depends on our focus to be on alanon principles. If we feel hurt or don't agree with each other, the best thing to do is to pm and talk in an adult manner. Being open to talk it out. We all may be understood, or say something unintentionally. We are human. However, We do not attac...	debilyn	0	520	May 22, 2007 by debilyn
	dealing with the A's mess (Preview) for 7 years I have been dealing with the A;s messes. I knew if I was ever to break away from him it would be an unholy mess. There is no quesition it is. I had to take off yesterday from my part time job to process documents. Now I have to do the same tonight. It costs me a fortune to fax, send stuff by courier an...	maresie2	3	683	May 22, 2007 by rtexas
	Learning to meet my own needs without resentment (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I was able to get some good work done in the condo and have some mommy time to myself. Today, got my back molar pulled, had to go to oral surgeon to get put under, apparently it was very nasty. Lately I'm just realizing that I'm meeting my needs by fu...	twinmom2	4	755	May 22, 2007 by Rita G
	How do you... (Preview) How do you cut yourself some slack? How do you give youself a break? How do you show yourself love? I don't think it's news--at least not to me, it isn't, that I'm awfully unnecesarily hard on myself. So how do you? Or, do you, at all?	Tiger2006	5	663	May 22, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Another Pleasant Valley Sunday (Preview) Happy Sunday ((((family)))) Down here in Texas it is a beautiful day indeed! I have the windows opened up and can hear the lovely sounds of the doves cooing and the other birdies chirping. My friend Norbert the cat and I were just hanging out on my front porch enjoying the day. Me in my chair, him in my lap....	david62	11	676	May 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	dealing with loss (Preview) Dealing with loss has been in my life lately. I have lost my alcoholic husband of 22 years to this terrible disease, I have lost a very good friend with a misunderstanding and now Im forced to deal with the death of my baby brother in law. While loosing my husband to this disease is a difficult thing to dea...	shadow1	18	840	May 21, 2007 by Karilynn
	metaphorically speaking (Preview) I thought of all the issues I keep struggling with, mostly financial, mostly related to Aism. I felt like I kept trying to block problems before they became huge but that that I was never going to be able to do it. This image came into my mind. I'm the Scrat, the acorn is my good thing. The water is all the pro...	RainyJamie	1	435	May 21, 2007 by debilyn
	Relapse, boundaries, & father's day (Preview) I have a question about boundaries. After holding an intervention in the fall of 2005, my father went through an inpatient treatment program. He was doing pretty well, although he did not believe it necessary to follow up with an after-care program (AA). In any event, he has relapsed (no big su...	Patches	2	1118	May 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Signs of the Fears Alcoholism Left With me (Preview) Hi Guys, I divorced my a husband almost a year ago. We weren't married very long and I haven't posted to this board in a little while, although I do read it. I have been pretty much alone this past year healing from the mental, verbal and physical abuse heaped on me by my a. Every so often a man will ask me ou...	ditto	5	562	May 21, 2007 by kissers
	Broke down and went for it... (Preview) Well, I broke down and did it. I spent the weekend with my ex A b/f. After much hesitation, I agreed to this because I needed closure once and for all. After all, thats all I've been wanting for months now. I went into the weekend with my guard up, at attention, more thank its ever been before!! The only '...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	666	May 21, 2007 by twinmom2
	Being apart from the A (Preview) When I lived with the A I was mostly numb and overwhelmed. That is how I dealt with it. I was also of course immensely depressed and sad and angry. I was always fighting with him over somethng. The other thing I was always doing of course was begging him, remonstrating and asking him to behave. He did t...	maresie2	6	637	May 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Got at letter from the jailhouse... (Preview) I had a birthday party for my middle child Saturday (nobody showed up) and got a letter from my A in jail. I read it and while waiting for non-existent guests I wrote back the perfect letter. I was so angry after reading his letter which was full of whining and blaming and just plain bs. I was compelled t...	carolinagirl	3	729	May 21, 2007 by debilyn
	Horrible day . . . (Preview) Well, days. Several goats got into the chicken scratch and pigged out. My best milker (in my avatar) was dead this morning with an orphaned baby. Two others need constant care, there is goat diarrhea everywhere. Of course my A is off on a binge, not that he could have been helpful other than to run in...	Kim65	9	542	May 21, 2007 by Rita G
	Hard to believe (Preview) (((((Family))))), Hard to believe it was a year ago that hubby was still drinking. A year ago I sent him packing because I could no longer live with an active alcoholic. It wasn't easy. I love my husband so much. But I was determined not to let him back until he had at least 90 days recovery under his be...	Karilynn	8	641	May 21, 2007 by Rita G
	It's called the Imposter Syndrome! (Preview) I tried to describe it in the meeting, and couldn't. It was the feeling like you're a fraud, and any minute now, "they're gonna find you out." That you're not that talented, not that smart, not that good, not enough in any way shape and form. And yup, you're gonna agree, all evidence to the co...	Tiger2006	5	1071	May 21, 2007 by barisax
	and infidelity too... (Preview) I am new to this board and have attended f2f meetings for about 2 months now, but I haven't had to courage to talk about this aspect in that setting. From what I have read, infidelity is not an uncommon issue with the A. The woman my AH had an affair with is also is an A and his relationship with her was absol...	Loupiness	13	2652	May 21, 2007 by Loupiness
	What movie clip represents you? Monty python and the holy grail (Preview) Rainy Jaime's post got me thinking about youtube clips and which one would fit me. Mine would have to be the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I am the knight who gets all his limbs severed and keeps going back for more..."tis just a flesh wound" What would yours be????	confused	6	686	May 21, 2007 by Lunamoth
	GOSSIP (Preview) ((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) I saw this on another board, and It really struck a chord with me..I thought I would share it with you. One junior high school boy confided in another his love for a certain girl. The first boy asked the second one to keep his secret. By the end of the school day, the r...	ally	3	593	May 21, 2007 by jaja
	I don't love him anymore... (Preview) I have been going over and over in my mind about something that I have to get out atleast in writing so I can maybe muddle through it better. Also, recieving some ESH would be great. My AH has been sober since the middle of Feb. I am very proud and happy for him for doing this for himself. He is working a gre...	melamom815	6	853	May 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	I Don't Care Attitude (Preview) After being through a few relationships with A's and facing my lonlieness, I have detached so much that I can go weeks without seeing someone I am dating. It feels like my heart has turned to stone. I feel like I just don't care anymore. A man I was recently dating called me and said he couldn't date me anym...	kissers	7	808	May 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	More on More on Dry Drunks (Preview) "Part of my A's program was to not lie. To face truths and conflict. When he did, he realized it was not as bad as he had always thought." -debilyn RE: More on Dry Drunks Goodness gracious, just like I say it in my dreams. The problem is not the specifically the alcohol, it's the parallel b...	RainyJamie	4	936	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	He signed the papers (Preview) My ex called me today after he was done with the lawyer. He signed the divorce papers that state he will be allowed supervised visitation. So, he called and said he is now ready to make arrangements with me to see the kids. I said nothing and just hung up. He acted as if nothing was wrong. As if his behavior...	serendipity	7	723	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	A still doesn't get it (Preview) and I really don't think he will for a long time. I've been really clear with him for the past 2 months about my feelings in this relationship and what I want. Last Friday I told him that on Tuesday I was giving our 30 day notice and moving with the kids and he'd have to find another place to live on his own. I...	DelilahJones	6	601	May 20, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Bitterness!! (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been struggling with myself being angry at my husband. He hasn't done anything recently but I think I am bitter for all the past. He has said sorry in the heat of the moment but I didn't believe him. Now he is clean and going to meetings I think I need to hear him say he is sorry again. I...	heather	9	885	May 20, 2007 by sissy
	ESH ? living seperately from A (Preview) I've told my A that I'm giving 30 days notice to the landlord and I'm moving with the kids to my dad's house (he passed away in Oct and my sisters and I are going to co-own it and I will live there) and he needs to find a place to go. I don't think he still really "get's it" and probably won't till Ju...	DelilahJones	9	728	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	Confusion (Preview) Hello All I am a bit confused today. My AH stopped by to see the kids last night on the way to an AA meeting. I wasn't excited to see him. I was happy but not oveerly excited. I wasn't sad that he couldn't stay long. It was almost a relief when he left. I want him to come home when he isn't here. I miss him. But aft...	janey225	4	883	May 20, 2007 by sissy
	Ingrown eyeballs (Preview) You may be wondering, what in the world is ingrown eyeballs. I have to tell ya, I just heard about this one yesterday! Think about an ingrown nail. Your nail is supposed to grow out and straight. When it grows inward, wrapped and backwards, it starts to hurt. It is tender, and doesn't feel very good a...	smpoli	7	788	May 20, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Gads MARISIE, Mary where are you?? (Preview) Lady please respond I am very concerned. I know you have no one in the USA to help you. Please please..... love,debilyn	debilyn	2	448	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	Dealing with FamilyCut-Offs/Silent Treatment (Preview) Dear Roomies, I could really use some ES&H on family cut-offs and silent treatments. My parents had a messy divorce and when my Afather began threatening her, my mother cut all contact with him. As a result, my siblings and I didn't have contact with him either. Then, seven years ago my brother sea...	BlueCloud	7	764	May 20, 2007 by jrtjosey
	The next time your kids tell you NO! (Preview) "I didn't see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head. It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." Ryan Lipscomb, a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, on being hit by a delivery truck after he fell from his bike. Lipscomb, who wore a helmet, suffe...	Tiger2006	3	549	May 20, 2007 by debilyn
	a great analogy for letting go... (Preview) Hello fellow (((((Alanons))))) Yesterday I was channel surfing and I stopped on a program where a motivational speaker was speaking.It was near the end of the program and he said something that has stayed with me. He said " let go or be dragged" I started thinking about this.I got a visual i...	drucilla06	5	4333	May 20, 2007 by debilyn
	Difficult Days :( (Preview) I was doing so good then CRASH-BAM-BOOM !! Now, I am so sad !! I wanted so desperately for things to work out but it just isnt going to .. He is living about 10 minutes from our home and I just cant stop thinking about who he is with and what he is doing.. None of which I can control and I know that. Unfortunate...	Tammy	5	605	May 20, 2007 by aunitedway
	First f2f (Preview) I finally went to my first f2f meeting. There were torential rain downpooring, I am not a good driver, don't know my way around exept to work, my daughters school, and her job. The route to meeting same as route to work, great eh? WRONG,,,,,,,,,, traffic was blocked, there was an accident, so had to find...	Eve Eve Eve	8	675	May 20, 2007 by aunitedway
	witdrawl symtoms of cocaine? (Preview) Hi everyone, it's been a little while since I wrote, things are looking up, but there is only one thing, my son will be moving out with his grand mother, I need to know was are the symtoms of witdrawl from cocaine? I need an answer as soon as possible, so I can do damage control before it starts, thanks, an...	andrea	6	2413	May 20, 2007 by moms3
	Alternatives to HP (Preview) If a person is not particularly spiritual, has trouble with faith or is not comfortable with spirituality, what would they use as a HP?	sash	11	757	May 20, 2007 by Sunny2007
	More on Dry Drunks (Preview) Hello, I guess parts of me will always be in denial. My husband has been sober six years. Thank God. And I do thank God for his sobriety. He has no program. I don't know how many meetings he went to. He said the only time he thinks about beer is when he went to meetings because that is what...	Idealsummerluv	9	701	May 20, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	How do you let go of your anger? (Preview) Sometimes the anger within me is too much for me to bare alone. I get angry at the fact my husband became an A, left and is drinking his life away with another A. I get angry when I think of what "could have been", the promises and the dreams we talked about, and he just continued to drink. When I ge...	gardengal	7	1238	May 19, 2007 by gardengal
	dealing with A's black moods (Preview) At present A is living with me after being ill in January, no he has not moved back home yet. My eldest son is coming home in two weeks from college and he will probably, hopefully move back home to his own place then which is in an awful state, no I have not gone there and cleaned it up. I have a lot of work at pre...	maire rua	3	577	May 18, 2007 by Friendofyours
	The Simple Truths of Service (Preview) I want to make a difference and so I share this: http://www.stservicemovie.com/ Copy and paste into a new window. love in recovery, Maria	Maria123	1	486	May 18, 2007 by confused
	Handling the behaviors and attitudes (Preview) For a while now I have been struggling woth how to deal with the behaviors and attitudes of my addict husband. Let me begin at the beginning.... We have been married for 18 years, have two sons and he has been an addict all this time. Although I didn't know he did " crack cocaine" until we had bee...	Karaokejacky	6	701	May 18, 2007 by Maria123
	2 weeks and life changes (Preview) Hi friends, Well, life is a challenge. Everything was kinda of ok but 2 weeks ago things changed. My mother's intuition told me to go visit my son in the military. His dad agreed to go with me and we agreed to focus on our son and not let our current relationship get in the way. We found him in a much differe...	nmike	3	498	May 18, 2007 by Maria123
	Dealing with anger or stress management (Preview) ((((((Friends)))))) I have noticed a few posts on anger in the past while. This is my anger management technique. I really use it and for me it really works. I had to laugh when I was that it came with "steps". Can't seem to get away from the dang things Enjoy all, lilms Subject: Stress Man...	lilms	4	776	May 18, 2007 by lilms
	Do I let her go? (Preview) I am stuggling on how to handle something and could use a little input from anyone who feels they could help. Here is my dilemma: My step daughter has asked to take my 14 year old to a rock concert. The reason I have reservation about this is because I am angry with my step daughter right now. My AH (her f...	Denoraphy	10	760	May 18, 2007 by Denoraphy
	Help with "runtime" error message.... (Preview) deb need help hen i cant write anything on the board it keeps telling me a runtime error and shuts down both message bboard and chat any ideas? I got this pm from Belle1. I don't know how to help. I researched it and told her where to look on the internet. does anyone know for sure? She is in Scotland and need...	debilyn	1	428	May 18, 2007 by belle1
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.