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Letter from the A
(Preview)
Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...
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carolinagirl
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3
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358
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Sealy Sealy Sealy
(Preview)
Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve
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Eve Eve Eve
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0
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346
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Right Where I'm Supposed to Be?
(Preview)
I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...
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serendipity
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4
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581
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Advice on Bounderies
(Preview)
My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...
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Gurl25
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12
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575
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Have you been able to take the focus off the alcoholic, and place it on yourself?
(Preview)
Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...
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gardengal
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3
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395
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Plan B Take two
(Preview)
(((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...
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lilms
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3
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397
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I will be getting fired this week
(Preview)
My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...
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kissers
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5
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643
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playing the victim
(Preview)
This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...
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maresie2
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3
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465
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Plan B = Done
(Preview)
((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...
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lilms
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3
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397
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new to the forum .....help
(Preview)
hello, i am new to the forum although i have been reading the message board for the past year or so and finally plucked up the courage to post my situation which is spiralling out of control. I am originally from the UK and have been living in Cyprus for the past 17 years. i have no way of attending a face t...
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sulli
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7
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562
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OT: As so kindly requested . . .
(Preview)
Some of you may remember my 'horrible day' three weeks ago when I lost two dairy goats to overeating disease. I've been looking and dithering for a while and finally found my three new girls in a nearby burg (well, 82 miles is nearby around here). They are Nubian dairy goats, real big with these immense...
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Kim65
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5
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600
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Just an update
(Preview)
Its been a while since I've posted on here.... Right now things in my life are "good" ... I've been keeping busy, enjoying the sun and sand, enjoying my children, family and friends. And even enjoying the company of my ex A. Although I am not diving back into a relationship with my ex A b/f, w...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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2
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304
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leaving to go back to florida
(Preview)
we buried my 2 week old cousin on friday,it was such a sad day,and week i was supposed to head back to florida on friday but this was more important..tomorrow im leaving to go back,but im coming back here{ny} july 5 going to spend july 4 with SAH ..and spend some time with his mom..it is going to be hard to be...
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bev
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2
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380
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Intimacy issues
(Preview)
I have been married for 15 years and truly could take or leave sex. My husband and I have lost nearly any moments of intimacy in our marriage and it makes me sad. For me there needs to be an emotional connection, a kindness, communication etc. I realize that my issues are not solely about the A, but we ha...
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confused
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12
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4725
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What goes around comes around?
(Preview)
"What goes around, comes around" was recently mentioned in a post. Some of us Alanoners are waiting for the A's to get their payback for all the suffering they cause and have caused. My 16 mo. sober husband was home this week from Alaska (he's working there) and we discussed that sentence a...
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Christy
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13
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834
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Confused
(Preview)
I'm sitting here wondering if I'm being cruel. Two days ago the A has told me he hates me, to fxxx off, never to contact him. Today he denies saying any of this and asks to meet up tomorrow. He says I'm being horrible to him. I said I can't do it. I never know how I stand. He tells me he knows I love him so why am I be...
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muppet
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7
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445
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sitting tight
(Preview)
I am trying to do as Carolinagirl suggests and just sit tight and wait it out. The A is still alive barely. The way he looked ont the weekend was desperate. He has some under the table jobs (that is psychologically all he can do). The dogs are still alive. I still have a roof over my head but it is total chaos t...
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maresie2
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2
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314
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Decided to visit the A in jail.
(Preview)
Well I have had the visiting form on my counter at home for two weeks and finally filled it out yesterday with a half nice, half not so nice letter to the A. I wonder if I am shooting myself in the foot by not just walking away now. I haven't gotten any mail from him since the letter with the visit form and I am...
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carolinagirl
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1
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341
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Respect and Disrespect
(Preview)
My AH loves to tell me that I treat him disrespectfully. Usually he mutters it under his breath. On the rare occassion that he comes right out and says it, I usually end up apologizing rather than engaging in something I believe will end up being non-productive. Here's what I would really like to say: Re...
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babysteps
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4
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868
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Does it get better?
(Preview)
In about 10 days, my husband will be sober 90 days. In the beginning it was great. He seemed to really realize what a shi* he had been. I actually could have a conversation with him and no longer had to wonder how long it would take for him to pass out every night. For the past month he has been extremely mo...
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sash
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5
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467
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It's ok to love an A
(Preview)
Just have a few minutes before I leave my office for a busy weekend, but I wanted to share bits this wonderful discussion I had with a fellow Al-Anon from my f2f group. . . She was struggling with and beating herself up because she had feelings for someone who has an addiction. My HP lead me to say the...
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Rita G
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7
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561
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good news and bad news
(Preview)
The good news is that I have access to my dogs. The bad news is that I have not been sent or given the rescue groups that were promised to me. I was supposed to get emails about them but they never materialised. That makes me very very leery of asking anyone for anything at all.
The bad news is that not one...
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maresie2
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5
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409
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REMEMBERING SEX...LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) I read a post about Intamacy, and wow, It has given me some food for thought. For the last few years, I have not gone near sex..Because I never trusted anyone enough to let them close to me. Last year I started having sex, as you all know. And It was like learning...
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ally
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6
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694
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No idea what to call this
(Preview)
This morning, AH handed me a cup of coffee while I went to the bathroom, barely awake . . . and a little later, I heard him on the phone talking about goats . . . he'd called on an ad for two Nubian milking goats, pretty much the answer to my "greatest farm prayers". He told me, "You stay here...
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Kim65
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11
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543
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How to respond to someone in a Center going thru the Program???
(Preview)
I have a relative who is currently in a Center, for Drug Abuse, and has just finished Detox and into the 12 steps. When they call, they tell me a lot of things -- like it is only the beginning of the battle, they realize they have to learn about themselves, etc. I don't know how to respond. I don't know if t...
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PapaBear
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5
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570
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Learning...Life is hard, but easier with boundaries
(Preview)
I am finally learing something...to take care of me through setting realistic boundaries :) and I am so happy! Last weekend I went to my parents house to celebrate my A-dad's b-day and father's day (a week early). My dad has gone to rehab and has relapsed 1 1/2 years latter. At first I was angry and hurt b...
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Patches
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1
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384
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if I just had me
(Preview)
I was journaling in the middle of the night the other night when I couldn't sleep. I came up with this poem: If I just had me how nice it would be Not to fret and worry over another. If I just had me, I might hug a tree. The tree would grow and provide me shade to sit and contemplate... If I just had me how boring...
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java
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3
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410
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Losing My Mind
(Preview)
I am losing my mind. As you all know, I married a wonderful man. He has his problems like we all do, but one of them I just can not tolerate any longer in my home. That is the damage that his exwife casues with their 13 year old son. I am at the point of seeking a divorce to get away from it, and thats not like m...
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Unsure
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3
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371
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It's great not to feel alone!
(Preview)
Most times, as some of you have read, I'm a flood of emotions. My A husband stated quite frankly last night that I need to get to a place where I'm happy again. I just about choked on my own air. I stood there with my mouth opened in absolute amazement. I was truely shocked, but he took it as scarca...
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pabell
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3
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512
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Rotten day at work
(Preview)
I had a rotten day at work yesterday. I'd really appreciate some E/S/H on this. I've talked with my sponsor and I feel alot better, but given how this weekend I'll be working Fri/Sat/Su, I'd like to gain some prospective from the experience.
I got called into the managers office yesterday. He had got...
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Tiger2006
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6
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491
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Push People Away
(Preview)
Growing up with an AH father I think somewhere along the way I shut down. At 18 I got in a relationship with a BF that was physically and emotionally abusive I stayed in it for three years. I think I stayed because "I knew what to expect" and "what was expected of me" it was easy and I un...
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BethC
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6
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577
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How to handle public displays of alcoholism?
(Preview)
New here, Any advice on what to do when you are out in public and the AH decides to drink way too much and act like a fool? People sure do notice! Waitress avoids you, aquaintences roll their eyes, family either doesn't accompany us out anymore or gets angry and embarrassed by the AH behavior. I get upset...
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Islandlady
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9
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605
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A question
(Preview)
What does FINE stand for? Starts with a naughty word but I always think it is so clever when someone asks and I say I'm fine and I remember that FINE actually stands for.......I can't remember....anyone know?
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serendipity
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4
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474
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Husband announced he was "done"
(Preview)
I am feeling very anxious today and defeated. I'm on my fourth marriage and he announced Saturday that he was "done". I am addicted to bad relationships obviously. I've been working a program for 15 years and I feel like I still can't get it right. This guy was no good for me, a dry drunk A. Been...
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java
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9
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1035
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So new question...
(Preview)
Why is American society so anti-drug when it comes to pain pills, heroin, pot, coke, etc...but so pro drug when it comes to tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, viagra, prozac...???? Is this some leftover from our puritain forefathers? Seems odd to me that of equally harmful drugs that some would be legal...
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carolinagirl
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6
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429
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Afglin?
(Preview)
I just wanted to check how your hubby's tests turned out and how you are holding up? Take care, Christy
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Christy
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0
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359
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Courage my friend!
(Preview)
Even when courage is misplaced, it is never a mistake. From Reader's Digest: WORKING as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly cal...
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Tiger2006
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2
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345
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Frustrated
(Preview)
Hi everyone. It's been a while since I posted. To be honest, I have really been kinda of embarrassed that I have let myself get in this situation again. I left my active alcoholic husband back in February. I had moved in with my sister, but did not realize that my sister was having her own problems wit...
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JulieLynn
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4
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391
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New here
(Preview)
Hi, my sister is currently in rehab for alcohol drug addiction - it seems that things are going well - she's the main reason I checked out Al-Anon - although, considering my husband's issues - I should've done this long ago. My sister took steps to get help and I am so proud of her!! My husband has not, we...
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Gurl25
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7
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510
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grieving the loss of a loved one
(Preview)
family needs prayers,on tuesday june 5,my cousin and his wife lost thier 2 week old son{doctors think it was sids}he was born may,17 he was such a handsome baby boy...makes you think of everything,if i ever lost one of my kids or grandchildren i would be a mess...we just need prayers in this time of heal...
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bev
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9
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517
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Tired of pretending
(Preview)
I just want to scream. I want to shake the crap out of him. I've pretended for so long that things were ok. Heck, I even convinced myself that things were ok. He's been sober for 5 months, and I have no more of a connection with him now then when he was drinking. People told me to wait a year, that it takes...
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pabell
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2
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494
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Not sure what to do as a Sister - Need some opinions
(Preview)
My brother has been to jail for too many DUI's. He has pretty much burnt everyone in his life. He divorced his wife of twelve years has two children about 5 years ago; one child is severely mentally and physically challenged and the other is a 13 year old girl. He does not have a license, but continues...
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zoe
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5
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462
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About DWI
(Preview)
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afmom03
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4
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326
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Prayer 101
(Preview)
Because prayer was an elusive concept when I first started... Trying to pray is praying. --Anonymous "Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God. We have learned...
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Tiger2006
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1
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324
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Conflict vs Crisis
(Preview)
I've seen some things recently about the everyday conflicts that result from us making changes in ourselves--when we practice assertiveness and don't allow ourselves to be manipulated or practice people pleasing; when we recognize destructive patterns in ourselves that were harmful and hurt...
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Tiger2006
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1
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399
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wedding RSVP
(Preview)
Hello Family, This is actually Rose. I am need to know who is going to try to make it to North Carolina for the wedding. I know a few of you are and I am so grateful!!! I do have access to some hotel rooms but they are going fast. Please let me know asap Thanks and love you all Rose ImFree2004
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John
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0
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553
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I miss my best friend :(
(Preview)
Even though she passed away in Aug 2007, it feels like yesturday. All of my other girlfriends live kinda far away and are busy. It's days like today where I am bored and just want to be happy and laugh and she's not there. If you are female you know what it's like to hang out with your buddy and just be happy be...
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Friendofyours
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5
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506
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Dry drunk or sober without AA?
(Preview)
I've been in al-anon for several years, been through several A marriages, but never one to quit (me or the A, lol). now I am married to someone who drank A, but says he isn't...although he says he knows the spider veins in his face are from the drinking, and the memory loss. He is clean and sober for a year no...
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java
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11
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739
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I confess....
(Preview)
I have committed myself to 1-2 f2f meetings a week, this board, and daily al-anon readings. I have a wonderful sponsor, but have not yet "worked" the steps. I also go to individual counseling. I understand I need to put the focus on myself, and I am trying, and every so often I discover that I...
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Loupiness
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6
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504
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Prayer request
(Preview)
I have not posted in a while, but want to ask for prayers for my husband. In May he drank on a monday and again on a Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon we went out to eat and I could tell he'd been drinking, but he seemed fine. Then we were walking into the bank and he collapsed. He said his knees gave way. I got him to a c...
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afglin
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9
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458
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10-day notice (um...kinda long...)
(Preview)
Hi all ~ I wanted to share what's been going on lately with my daughter, who is 19 and has finished her freshman year at college (commuting to college, almost an hour away). She has, for the last couple of years (actually longer, but it's been more frequent here the last several months) just been a BEAR t...
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lmt123
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9
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599
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i remember first coming to this board nearly 3 years ago
(Preview)
I remember first coming to this board nearly 3 years ago and reading of people leaving their A's and I remember feeling that would never be me. I felt so sure I could find a way to make it work. Now all that seems impossible. I see more and more how impossible the A's attitude, lies, acting out, lack of limit...
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maresie2
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3
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520
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Starting Step One
(Preview)
I am ready to start working the steps. I have a wonderful person to be my sponsor, however she hasn't been active in AL-Anon for about 15 yrs, so she is not really sure how we go about it. Is there a specific way or a written guide? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Lou
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Loupiness
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2
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509
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I'm new- advice please
(Preview)
My partner is an alcoholic who attends his meetings. Al Anon has adviced me to part from him. Two months ago he came home and beat me up. I have 2 broken ribs. He has since moved out and we see each other. He said that he only now wants a friendship as he needs to recover and is confused. We meet regularly and he...
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muppet
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14
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748
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A Pipers Kitty weekend!
(Preview)
(((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful, happy weekend. I was given off this weekend (Fri-Sun) and we decided to make it an official Pipers Kitty weekend! Okay, I can see all the new faces saying "What the heck is this crazy woman talking about?" Several years ago I did a...
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Karilynn
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3
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433
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trying to post..again
(Preview)
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belle1
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1
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405
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Question
(Preview)
My favorite page (if I had to pick only one) is 109 (April 18) in the Courage To Change daily reader. It reminds me where to place the focus, it tells that no one can be responsible for my happiness but myself. If I am unhappy what can I do about it, how can I be a more content person with others when I am disappo...
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tea2
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4
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398
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When Sobriety Happens
(Preview)
Hello All Well my AH has been back home for about 10 days. Things are going good so far. Today will be his 2 week mark of Sobriety. He has had stretches of anywhere of 3 days to 10 days with out a drink so this is a milestone. I thought once he gets sober it will all be ok again. He is a completly different person...
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janey225
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6
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706
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yet another prayer request....
(Preview)
You guys are the best.....when I find myself upset I immediatly think of all of you and know things will be okay because of the love and support I have here. I went and had my mamogram yesterday and now am totally freaking myself out. The imaging clinic called, they found something in one of my breasts...
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marmare
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11
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564
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Teenage son continued....
(Preview)
I'm venting my frustations, anxieties, fears, and concerns. I would love any feedback anyone has, both good and bad.... My son is 16, he will be 17 very soon. As I have posted previously, up until this year, at least to my knowledge, he's been a good kid. Good grades, great in sports, active in sc...
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pabell
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2
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410
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