Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nycbt · nycbt

Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...

muppet · muppet

Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????

nycbt · nycbt

This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...

java · java

As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...

java · java

Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...

karrele · karrele

Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

The A/DA in my life is my son. Fortunately he is back in program and for the time being seems to be doing very well. I am slowly regaining my relationship with my son and it does feel very good. We had a phone conversation last week and something he said seemed to have little flags all over it saying "...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I saw this today and wanted to pass it along. Have a wonderful day. Peace, Twinmom~ Children Learn If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with shame, they lear...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))), Our beloved sweet Tea did a post earlier asking what are some of our favorite passages from readings were (look on page 2). Well here I am better late than never! lol I've been doing some rethinking about my life, etc. I'm not trying to dwell on the past or project on the future. I...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Got a little "love letter" from my wife last friday. It said that she knows that the drinking was a way to cope for her and that it has caused problems in our marriage. Friday nights we normally try to get diner together as a family. The kiddo had plans with a friend so...

Katy · Katy

My now sober ah is still very good at this, the thing is, it pushes those around him that love him away, We, his children, and me, his wife don't understand why, out of the blue usually he will do this, we all seem to be happy and then it happens, it's very upsetting, we try to ignore and not react and detach...

ler0719 · ler0719

Hello. I am brand new to Al-Anon and while I do not know much about it here goes: I am so tired of my alcoholic boyfriend. We lived together up until 2 days ago when I left with out 23 month old son. He drinks constantly. Has been in rehab about 7 times in the past 10 years. We have been together for 4 year...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I am miscarrying. I'm pretty sure ah is no longer sober. The phone calls from him while I was in the ER were unreal. He was cussing at me and calling me every name in the book. This is the drinker I know. The nondrinker would have been kind and caring. He took off work at noon and I thought he might come over to t...

Diva · Diva

SOmeone please explain to me why AlAnon says, "What other people think of me is none of my business." Truly I do not care much what other people think, and "think" is the operative word here. I would not call myself a people-pleaser to excess, but all of us know one or two people w...

Diva · Diva

This morning, at 4:00, my older son left after a four-day visit. Now this son is grown, he is educated and bright, doing well for himself, never a single problem with the law, gentle, kind, sober, never had a problem with abuse of any kind, and a real pain in the ass!!! He is an artist in the true sense of the...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I feel like I've been shot with a canon and I have a huge hole in me. I look at it but it's not painful...there is just a huge chunk missing, it doesn't feel right. My A is all over the place. He says things that make no sense, he seems nervous and on edge. I hate this. I keep stepping back...

serendipity · serendipity

Well, I just read Kim's post about the goats and it was really inspiring. To keep going, to acknowledge the pain and move despite it and find the joy. I have twice now done things involving my ex and his agf that I will regret. Nothing major just my own confrontational mouth. I come off looking like the cr...

Rita G · Rita G

Happy Birthday Java - Enjoy some calorie free cake!! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Rita

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...

Eve Eve Eve · Eve Eve Eve

Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve

serendipity · serendipity

I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...

lilms · lilms

(((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...

kissers · kissers

My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...

maresie2 · maresie2

This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...

lilms · lilms

((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...

sulli · sulli

hello, i am new to the forum although i have been reading the message board for the past year or so and finally plucked up the courage to post my situation which is spiralling out of control. I am originally from the UK and have been living in Cyprus for the past 17 years. i have no way of attending a face t...

Kim65 · Kim65

Some of you may remember my 'horrible day' three weeks ago when I lost two dairy goats to overeating disease. I've been looking and dithering for a while and finally found my three new girls in a nearby burg (well, 82 miles is nearby around here). They are Nubian dairy goats, real big with these immense...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Its been a while since I've posted on here.... Right now things in my life are "good" ... I've been keeping busy, enjoying the sun and sand, enjoying my children, family and friends. And even enjoying the company of my ex A. Although I am not diving back into a relationship with my ex A b/f, w...

bev · bev

we buried my 2 week old cousin on friday,it was such a sad day,and week i was supposed to head back to florida on friday but this was more important..tomorrow im leaving to go back,but im coming back here{ny} july 5 going to spend july 4 with SAH ..and spend some time with his mom..it is going to be hard to be...

confused · confused

I have been married for 15 years and truly could take or leave sex. My husband and I have lost nearly any moments of intimacy in our marriage and it makes me sad. For me there needs to be an emotional connection, a kindness, communication etc. I realize that my issues are not solely about the A, but we ha...

Christy · Christy

"What goes around, comes around" was recently mentioned in a post. Some of us Alanoners are waiting for the A's to get their payback for all the suffering they cause and have caused. My 16 mo. sober husband was home this week from Alaska (he's working there) and we discussed that sentence a...

muppet · muppet

I'm sitting here wondering if I'm being cruel. Two days ago the A has told me he hates me, to fxxx off, never to contact him. Today he denies saying any of this and asks to meet up tomorrow. He says I'm being horrible to him. I said I can't do it. I never know how I stand. He tells me he knows I love him so why am I be...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am trying to do as Carolinagirl suggests and just sit tight and wait it out. The A is still alive barely. The way he looked ont the weekend was desperate. He has some under the table jobs (that is psychologically all he can do). The dogs are still alive. I still have a roof over my head but it is total chaos t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I have had the visiting form on my counter at home for two weeks and finally filled it out yesterday with a half nice, half not so nice letter to the A. I wonder if I am shooting myself in the foot by not just walking away now. I haven't gotten any mail from him since the letter with the visit form and I am...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH loves to tell me that I treat him disrespectfully. Usually he mutters it under his breath. On the rare occassion that he comes right out and says it, I usually end up apologizing rather than engaging in something I believe will end up being non-productive. Here's what I would really like to say: Re...

sash · sash

In about 10 days, my husband will be sober 90 days. In the beginning it was great. He seemed to really realize what a shi* he had been. I actually could have a conversation with him and no longer had to wonder how long it would take for him to pass out every night. For the past month he has been extremely mo...

Rita G · Rita G

Just have a few minutes before I leave my office for a busy weekend, but I wanted to share bits this wonderful discussion I had with a fellow Al-Anon from my f2f group. . . She was struggling with and beating herself up because she had feelings for someone who has an addiction. My HP lead me to say the...

maresie2 · maresie2

The good news is that I have access to my dogs. The bad news is that I have not been sent or given the rescue groups that were promised to me. I was supposed to get emails about them but they never materialised. That makes me very very leery of asking anyone for anything at all. The bad news is that not one...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) I read a post about Intamacy, and wow, It has given me some food for thought. For the last few years, I have not gone near sex..Because I never trusted anyone enough to let them close to me. Last year I started having sex, as you all know. And It was like learning...

Kim65 · Kim65

This morning, AH handed me a cup of coffee while I went to the bathroom, barely awake . . . and a little later, I heard him on the phone talking about goats . . . he'd called on an ad for two Nubian milking goats, pretty much the answer to my "greatest farm prayers". He told me, "You stay here...

PapaBear · PapaBear

I have a relative who is currently in a Center, for Drug Abuse, and has just finished Detox and into the 12 steps. When they call, they tell me a lot of things -- like it is only the beginning of the battle, they realize they have to learn about themselves, etc. I don't know how to respond. I don't know if t...

Patches · Patches

I am finally learing something...to take care of me through setting realistic boundaries :) and I am so happy! Last weekend I went to my parents house to celebrate my A-dad's b-day and father's day (a week early). My dad has gone to rehab and has relapsed 1 1/2 years latter. At first I was angry and hurt b...

java · java

I was journaling in the middle of the night the other night when I couldn't sleep. I came up with this poem: If I just had me how nice it would be Not to fret and worry over another. If I just had me, I might hug a tree. The tree would grow and provide me shade to sit and contemplate... If I just had me how boring...

Unsure · Unsure

I am losing my mind. As you all know, I married a wonderful man. He has his problems like we all do, but one of them I just can not tolerate any longer in my home. That is the damage that his exwife casues with their 13 year old son. I am at the point of seeking a divorce to get away from it, and thats not like m...

pabell · pabell

Most times, as some of you have read, I'm a flood of emotions. My A husband stated quite frankly last night that I need to get to a place where I'm happy again. I just about choked on my own air. I stood there with my mouth opened in absolute amazement. I was truely shocked, but he took it as scarca...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I had a rotten day at work yesterday. I'd really appreciate some E/S/H on this. I've talked with my sponsor and I feel alot better, but given how this weekend I'll be working Fri/Sat/Su, I'd like to gain some prospective from the experience. I got called into the managers office yesterday. He had got...

BethC · BethC

Growing up with an AH father I think somewhere along the way I shut down. At 18 I got in a relationship with a BF that was physically and emotionally abusive I stayed in it for three years. I think I stayed because "I knew what to expect" and "what was expected of me" it was easy and I un...

Islandlady · Islandlady

New here, Any advice on what to do when you are out in public and the AH decides to drink way too much and act like a fool? People sure do notice! Waitress avoids you, aquaintences roll their eyes, family either doesn't accompany us out anymore or gets angry and embarrassed by the AH behavior. I get upset...

serendipity · serendipity

What does FINE stand for? Starts with a naughty word but I always think it is so clever when someone asks and I say I'm fine and I remember that FINE actually stands for.......I can't remember....anyone know?

java · java

I am feeling very anxious today and defeated. I'm on my fourth marriage and he announced Saturday that he was "done". I am addicted to bad relationships obviously. I've been working a program for 15 years and I feel like I still can't get it right. This guy was no good for me, a dry drunk A. Been...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Why is American society so anti-drug when it comes to pain pills, heroin, pot, coke, etc...but so pro drug when it comes to tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, viagra, prozac...???? Is this some leftover from our puritain forefathers? Seems odd to me that of equally harmful drugs that some would be legal...

Christy · Christy

I just wanted to check how your hubby's tests turned out and how you are holding up? Take care, Christy

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Even when courage is misplaced, it is never a mistake. From Reader's Digest: WORKING as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly cal...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	how i am doing (Preview) Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...	nycbt	2	362	Jun 15, 2007 by maresie2
	How wives/husbands of A's are seen & what we really are (Preview) We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...	Gurl25	4	934	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Have I been stupid (Preview) Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????	muppet	3	358	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	for beginners (Preview) This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...	nycbt	0	387	Jun 15, 2007 by nycbt
	Remind me I'm worth it (Preview) I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...	Tiger2006	8	597	Jun 15, 2007 by Maria123
	I want to be me. (Preview) As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...	java	4	430	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	new here (Preview) New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...	mosaicmax	5	492	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on? (Preview) Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...	java	10	569	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Down the home stretch (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...	Jennifer	3	382	Jun 14, 2007 by Lunamoth
	New here (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...	karrele	8	597	Jun 14, 2007 by karrele
	To every disaster some perspective I suppose.... (Preview) WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...	Tiger2006	0	258	Jun 14, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A Share (Preview) The A/DA in my life is my son. Fortunately he is back in program and for the time being seems to be doing very well. I am slowly regaining my relationship with my son and it does feel very good. We had a phone conversation last week and something he said seemed to have little flags all over it saying "...	Mobirdie	5	420	Jun 14, 2007 by Rita G
	A Share for our Children (Preview) I saw this today and wanted to pass it along. Have a wonderful day. Peace, Twinmom~ Children Learn If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with shame, they lear...	twinmom2	1	353	Jun 14, 2007 by Rita G
	Self acceptance (Preview) (((((((Family)))), Our beloved sweet Tea did a post earlier asking what are some of our favorite passages from readings were (look on page 2). Well here I am better late than never! lol I've been doing some rethinking about my life, etc. I'm not trying to dwell on the past or project on the future. I...	Karilynn	4	871	Jun 14, 2007 by QOD
	Life is so confusing... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Got a little "love letter" from my wife last friday. It said that she knows that the drinking was a way to cope for her and that it has caused problems in our marriage. Friday nights we normally try to get diner together as a family. The kiddo had plans with a friend so...	rtexas	11	810	Jun 14, 2007 by hersh
	Provacation! (Preview) My now sober ah is still very good at this, the thing is, it pushes those around him that love him away, We, his children, and me, his wife don't understand why, out of the blue usually he will do this, we all seem to be happy and then it happens, it's very upsetting, we try to ignore and not react and detach...	Katy	6	527	Jun 14, 2007 by ShelBell
	Empty, numb and confused (Preview) Hello. I am brand new to Al-Anon and while I do not know much about it here goes: I am so tired of my alcoholic boyfriend. We lived together up until 2 days ago when I left with out 23 month old son. He drinks constantly. Has been in rehab about 7 times in the past 10 years. We have been together for 4 year...	ler0719	14	2071	Jun 14, 2007 by twinmom2
	This made a few happy..... (Preview) I am miscarrying. I'm pretty sure ah is no longer sober. The phone calls from him while I was in the ER were unreal. He was cussing at me and calling me every name in the book. This is the drinker I know. The nondrinker would have been kind and caring. He took off work at noon and I thought he might come over to t...	Friendofyours	13	699	Jun 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Got a question... (Preview) SOmeone please explain to me why AlAnon says, "What other people think of me is none of my business." Truly I do not care much what other people think, and "think" is the operative word here. I would not call myself a people-pleaser to excess, but all of us know one or two people w...	Diva	15	541	Jun 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Off the topic of As for a minute. (Preview) This morning, at 4:00, my older son left after a four-day visit. Now this son is grown, he is educated and bright, doing well for himself, never a single problem with the law, gentle, kind, sober, never had a problem with abuse of any kind, and a real pain in the ass!!! He is an artist in the true sense of the...	Diva	11	636	Jun 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Pity? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I feel like I've been shot with a canon and I have a huge hole in me. I look at it but it's not painful...there is just a huge chunk missing, it doesn't feel right. My A is all over the place. He says things that make no sense, he seems nervous and on edge. I hate this. I keep stepping back...	Lunamoth	10	643	Jun 14, 2007 by Jennifer
	I Don't Know (Preview) Well, I just read Kim's post about the goats and it was really inspiring. To keep going, to acknowledge the pain and move despite it and find the joy. I have twice now done things involving my ex and his agf that I will regret. Nothing major just my own confrontational mouth. I come off looking like the cr...	serendipity	6	423	Jun 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Happy Birthday Java (Preview) Happy Birthday Java - Enjoy some calorie free cake!! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Rita	Rita G	8	511	Jun 14, 2007 by java
	Letter from the A (Preview) Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...	carolinagirl	3	371	Jun 13, 2007 by debilyn
	Sealy Sealy Sealy (Preview) Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve	Eve Eve Eve	0	356	Jun 13, 2007 by Eve Eve Eve
	Right Where I'm Supposed to Be? (Preview) I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...	serendipity	4	589	Jun 13, 2007 by lam0204
	Advice on Bounderies (Preview) My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...	Gurl25	12	588	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	Have you been able to take the focus off the alcoholic, and place it on yourself? (Preview) Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...	gardengal	3	407	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	Plan B Take two (Preview) (((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...	lilms	3	407	Jun 13, 2007 by Christy
	I will be getting fired this week (Preview) My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...	kissers	5	653	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	playing the victim (Preview) This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...	maresie2	3	481	Jun 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Plan B = Done (Preview) ((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...	lilms	3	409	Jun 13, 2007 by maresie2
	new to the forum .....help (Preview) hello, i am new to the forum although i have been reading the message board for the past year or so and finally plucked up the courage to post my situation which is spiralling out of control. I am originally from the UK and have been living in Cyprus for the past 17 years. i have no way of attending a face t...	sulli	7	572	Jun 13, 2007 by Diva
	OT: As so kindly requested . . . (Preview) Some of you may remember my 'horrible day' three weeks ago when I lost two dairy goats to overeating disease. I've been looking and dithering for a while and finally found my three new girls in a nearby burg (well, 82 miles is nearby around here). They are Nubian dairy goats, real big with these immense...	Kim65	5	614	Jun 13, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Just an update (Preview) Its been a while since I've posted on here.... Right now things in my life are "good" ... I've been keeping busy, enjoying the sun and sand, enjoying my children, family and friends. And even enjoying the company of my ex A. Although I am not diving back into a relationship with my ex A b/f, w...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	319	Jun 13, 2007 by twinmom2
	leaving to go back to florida (Preview) we buried my 2 week old cousin on friday,it was such a sad day,and week i was supposed to head back to florida on friday but this was more important..tomorrow im leaving to go back,but im coming back here{ny} july 5 going to spend july 4 with SAH ..and spend some time with his mom..it is going to be hard to be...	bev	2	397	Jun 13, 2007 by Rita G
	Intimacy issues (Preview) I have been married for 15 years and truly could take or leave sex. My husband and I have lost nearly any moments of intimacy in our marriage and it makes me sad. For me there needs to be an emotional connection, a kindness, communication etc. I realize that my issues are not solely about the A, but we ha...	confused	12	4848	Jun 13, 2007 by Denoraphy
	What goes around comes around? (Preview) "What goes around, comes around" was recently mentioned in a post. Some of us Alanoners are waiting for the A's to get their payback for all the suffering they cause and have caused. My 16 mo. sober husband was home this week from Alaska (he's working there) and we discussed that sentence a...	Christy	13	842	Jun 13, 2007 by Baffled
	Confused (Preview) I'm sitting here wondering if I'm being cruel. Two days ago the A has told me he hates me, to fxxx off, never to contact him. Today he denies saying any of this and asks to meet up tomorrow. He says I'm being horrible to him. I said I can't do it. I never know how I stand. He tells me he knows I love him so why am I be...	muppet	7	463	Jun 13, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	sitting tight (Preview) I am trying to do as Carolinagirl suggests and just sit tight and wait it out. The A is still alive barely. The way he looked ont the weekend was desperate. He has some under the table jobs (that is psychologically all he can do). The dogs are still alive. I still have a roof over my head but it is total chaos t...	maresie2	2	326	Jun 12, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Decided to visit the A in jail. (Preview) Well I have had the visiting form on my counter at home for two weeks and finally filled it out yesterday with a half nice, half not so nice letter to the A. I wonder if I am shooting myself in the foot by not just walking away now. I haven't gotten any mail from him since the letter with the visit form and I am...	carolinagirl	1	354	Jun 12, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Respect and Disrespect (Preview) My AH loves to tell me that I treat him disrespectfully. Usually he mutters it under his breath. On the rare occassion that he comes right out and says it, I usually end up apologizing rather than engaging in something I believe will end up being non-productive. Here's what I would really like to say: Re...	babysteps	4	881	Jun 12, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Does it get better? (Preview) In about 10 days, my husband will be sober 90 days. In the beginning it was great. He seemed to really realize what a shi* he had been. I actually could have a conversation with him and no longer had to wonder how long it would take for him to pass out every night. For the past month he has been extremely mo...	sash	5	476	Jun 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	It's ok to love an A (Preview) Just have a few minutes before I leave my office for a busy weekend, but I wanted to share bits this wonderful discussion I had with a fellow Al-Anon from my f2f group. . . She was struggling with and beating herself up because she had feelings for someone who has an addiction. My HP lead me to say the...	Rita G	7	577	Jun 12, 2007 by Gurl25
	good news and bad news (Preview) The good news is that I have access to my dogs. The bad news is that I have not been sent or given the rescue groups that were promised to me. I was supposed to get emails about them but they never materialised. That makes me very very leery of asking anyone for anything at all. The bad news is that not one...	maresie2	5	422	Jun 12, 2007 by maresie2
	REMEMBERING SEX...LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) I read a post about Intamacy, and wow, It has given me some food for thought. For the last few years, I have not gone near sex..Because I never trusted anyone enough to let them close to me. Last year I started having sex, as you all know. And It was like learning...	ally	6	709	Jun 12, 2007 by Barbs45
	No idea what to call this (Preview) This morning, AH handed me a cup of coffee while I went to the bathroom, barely awake . . . and a little later, I heard him on the phone talking about goats . . . he'd called on an ad for two Nubian milking goats, pretty much the answer to my "greatest farm prayers". He told me, "You stay here...	Kim65	11	555	Jun 12, 2007 by Gurl25
	How to respond to someone in a Center going thru the Program??? (Preview) I have a relative who is currently in a Center, for Drug Abuse, and has just finished Detox and into the 12 steps. When they call, they tell me a lot of things -- like it is only the beginning of the battle, they realize they have to learn about themselves, etc. I don't know how to respond. I don't know if t...	PapaBear	5	580	Jun 12, 2007 by Gurl25
	Learning...Life is hard, but easier with boundaries (Preview) I am finally learing something...to take care of me through setting realistic boundaries :) and I am so happy! Last weekend I went to my parents house to celebrate my A-dad's b-day and father's day (a week early). My dad has gone to rehab and has relapsed 1 1/2 years latter. At first I was angry and hurt b...	Patches	1	402	Jun 12, 2007 by twinmom2
	if I just had me (Preview) I was journaling in the middle of the night the other night when I couldn't sleep. I came up with this poem: If I just had me how nice it would be Not to fret and worry over another. If I just had me, I might hug a tree. The tree would grow and provide me shade to sit and contemplate... If I just had me how boring...	java	3	418	Jun 12, 2007 by Gurl25
	Losing My Mind (Preview) I am losing my mind. As you all know, I married a wonderful man. He has his problems like we all do, but one of them I just can not tolerate any longer in my home. That is the damage that his exwife casues with their 13 year old son. I am at the point of seeking a divorce to get away from it, and thats not like m...	Unsure	3	392	Jun 12, 2007 by Gurl25
	It's great not to feel alone! (Preview) Most times, as some of you have read, I'm a flood of emotions. My A husband stated quite frankly last night that I need to get to a place where I'm happy again. I just about choked on my own air. I stood there with my mouth opened in absolute amazement. I was truely shocked, but he took it as scarca...	pabell	3	527	Jun 12, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	Rotten day at work (Preview) I had a rotten day at work yesterday. I'd really appreciate some E/S/H on this. I've talked with my sponsor and I feel alot better, but given how this weekend I'll be working Fri/Sat/Su, I'd like to gain some prospective from the experience. I got called into the managers office yesterday. He had got...	Tiger2006	6	507	Jun 12, 2007 by CJ
	Push People Away (Preview) Growing up with an AH father I think somewhere along the way I shut down. At 18 I got in a relationship with a BF that was physically and emotionally abusive I stayed in it for three years. I think I stayed because "I knew what to expect" and "what was expected of me" it was easy and I un...	BethC	6	596	Jun 11, 2007 by Lanchas
	How to handle public displays of alcoholism? (Preview) New here, Any advice on what to do when you are out in public and the AH decides to drink way too much and act like a fool? People sure do notice! Waitress avoids you, aquaintences roll their eyes, family either doesn't accompany us out anymore or gets angry and embarrassed by the AH behavior. I get upset...	Islandlady	9	618	Jun 11, 2007 by Islandlady
	A question (Preview) What does FINE stand for? Starts with a naughty word but I always think it is so clever when someone asks and I say I'm fine and I remember that FINE actually stands for.......I can't remember....anyone know?	serendipity	4	482	Jun 11, 2007 by Diva
	Husband announced he was "done" (Preview) I am feeling very anxious today and defeated. I'm on my fourth marriage and he announced Saturday that he was "done". I am addicted to bad relationships obviously. I've been working a program for 15 years and I feel like I still can't get it right. This guy was no good for me, a dry drunk A. Been...	java	9	1065	Jun 11, 2007 by bill f
	So new question... (Preview) Why is American society so anti-drug when it comes to pain pills, heroin, pot, coke, etc...but so pro drug when it comes to tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, viagra, prozac...???? Is this some leftover from our puritain forefathers? Seems odd to me that of equally harmful drugs that some would be legal...	carolinagirl	6	439	Jun 11, 2007 by bill f
	Afglin? (Preview) I just wanted to check how your hubby's tests turned out and how you are holding up? Take care, Christy	Christy	0	371	Jun 11, 2007 by Christy
	Courage my friend! (Preview) Even when courage is misplaced, it is never a mistake. From Reader's Digest: WORKING as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly cal...	Tiger2006	2	361	Jun 11, 2007 by pabell
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.