Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gardengal · gardengal

For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...

maresie2 · maresie2

I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...

carla036 · carla036

Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...

serendipity · serendipity

I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.

Tammy · Tammy

Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...

greta · greta

I spoke with my son tonight. His mouth said the things I would like to hear him say. Time will tell if the walk will do the same. I know he is scared, He did say though "this might all come out good....I can see this is not where I want to be." He has a court appearance at 1 pm tomorrow. Now to me...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Continuation from "Enforcing the Boundaries" post...AH came home Sunday, was all aplogetic, but I said "what do you have to say that's gonna be different than all the other times? I don't wanna hear the same old stuff - it doesn't mean anything." He said "I wanna get help....

serendipity · serendipity

I have done nothing but cry for the past 2 days. I hold it together long enough to make thru my meetings. But as soon as I am alone ( which is when I am not at a meeting) I cry hysterically. I have been on my couch crying all day. I can't even get it together enough to do anything besides get up to use the bathroom...

marmare · marmare

I went for my dianogstic test yesterday. Dr. seems to think it's a natural change in breast tissue. I will go back in 6 months to make sure. But he didn't feel it was warranted to even do the ultra-sound...so good news here. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers! Hugs Mar

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((MIP DADS)))))), Just wanted to take a moment and wish all those MIP Dads tomorrow: HAPPY, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! May it be extra special for you. To those of you who are playing the role of Dad for whatever reason, HAPPY FATHERS DAY too! Or for those Dads who are also playing Mom too: HAPPY FAT...

pearlygirrl · pearlygirrl

I recently returned to alanon after nine months (I had only been in recovery for 6 months, but they had been very successful months. I stopped going because I moved and it has taken me this long to return, or rather, to stop denying the feeling that my life is out of control again). I am in such a state of c...

Jamekaticy · Jamekaticy

I'm new to posting, too. I've been reading here for about 8 months, posted a few times, and think I should introduce myself. My partner -- he's more than a boyfriend -- is the first active A I've known, or at least who's been a big part of my life. I had a few recovering A boyfriends, and interestingly e...

Christy · Christy

The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 AD) in the crypts of Westminster Abbey and illustrate how one man recognized the importance of working on himself first:"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew...

QOD · QOD

I am so freakin' stressin' out right now. I am just getting so tired of being the only one to contribute financially to my household. My AH just started a new job this week and it is a good steady job w/a good company. He has worked w/them before and they know his history. So that is good. Problem, he has...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...

serendipity · serendipity

So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...

muppet · muppet

I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...

ler0719 · ler0719

Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...

java · java

My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...

greta · greta

This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...

karrele · karrele

I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...

Kim65 · Kim65

I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...

nycbt · nycbt

Today is a very good day for me. It has to be one of the best. I feel so good about myself even if it just today. I have makeup on and have a good attuided. I have come a long way since I have stared. I not fighting with my husband like when i first started. I used to get very voliet and break glass and anything I had...

taco · taco

Good Morning. This is my first posting (and going to be a long one at that, Sorry!), and to be honest I am scared. Ive wanted to post something for a while, but never had the courage until this morning, when I saw my best friend throwing his life away even more than before. I don't know what I am doing, but I k...

LisaF · LisaF

I've been feeling a bit mixed up last night and today... different emotions spinning around in my head... I don't know... am getting to a meeting tonight, not sure if it will be AA or Alanon... both meet at the same time... probably need to go to the AA meeting, since my sponsor will be there and she'...

LisaF · LisaF

Hey y'all, well, my mind's sorta been on overload a bit lol but was thinking a bit today about the meeting I went to last night, it was a book study, not sure what book it was from actually, but they were just starting on it, so we read the preface and introduction, and it was talking about grief and disapp...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

[FYI: My husband is an alcoholic (binges alot of wkends to the pt of passing out but doesn't drink the rest of the time).] Anyway, my sister is in rehab and was able to have her first visit last Thursday - Thursday nights are family group nights. So my husband knows her and is (or seemed) supportive of m...

LisaF · LisaF

Hey y'all... my name is Lisa, I'm a recovering alcoholic... and realized over the past few months that I should probably be in Alanon as well... I've been going to the AA forum here on MIP for quite awhile now... I'm originally from Memphis, TN... I left my (alcoholic???) husband in December... m...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

He was still mad this morning, which is why I was still so upset and wrote that huge vent (thanks for the comforting replies everyone). He just called to apologize and says he'll be home around 7:30 tonight. We'll see abt that...my anxiety always starts to pump as the minutes tick by after I get home fr...

java · java

This is a glum day. The sun is shining, but not in my heart. Life beats on, but without any melody. A fog of gloom hangs about in the sunny corners of the day's rays. Where is the hope, the faith that lingered but yesterday? Not that much has changed, yet everything has changed. Circumstances in life have d...

Katy · Katy

I spent a lovely afternoon with an alanon friend yesterday ,I alway's have the feel good factor around and after I been with her.We talk at length about how alchohol has affected our lives and the lives of our children.And then, I had a dream last night about going to buy another house, I just wanted it s...

carla036 · carla036

Hi Friends~ After searching my archives of CAL literature ,I found this to pass on to a friend in the program ,and was reminded of the compassion I need to keep for the alcoholics in my own life~ Hope you all don't mind me sharing it here ;) An Open Letter to My FamilyI am an alcoholic. I need help. Dont allow...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while. I had graduations and trips and changes. My oldest son in the military is still sick and just hanging on. Even in all of this I realize that he has to be in enough pain to ask for help. My mother went through surgery two weeks ago. She is elderly and has had a rough go. I...

karrele · karrele

AH still in rehab. Talked to him last night. I told him about a job interview that I had. I'm really excited about the job and I hope I get hired. It's exactly what I've been looking for. The only drawback is that it requires overnight travel about 50% of the time. AH asked me how he was supposed to go to AA mee...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know the A is homeless and penniless. He has appointments for various socail service things. In theory he has work that is coming down the line. He would like me to snap my fingers and fix it all for him. I don't. Everything in me screams that I should stop everything and do that. ...

bill f · bill f

I am feeling very powerless today with the goings on of those around me. My mother, who I helped a week and a half ago get my A brother out of her apartment has rescued him once again by putting him up in a motel - "good news she says, he has decided to go the VA for help!". Meanwhile, she has kept...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I need a reality check. My A actually wants me to get a sitter for the kids so that we can "go out and see what happens." So since last night my mind has wandered to all the scenerios that "could" happen and I can't think of one that is positive for me. The past...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have thought about this here and there and then reading lunamoth's post made me think once again I am reading my own story. Almost anyway. What I was wondering is if A's truly love their children or just see them as a tool to keep women/men attached to them so that they can continue to use. Then I start...

serendipity · serendipity

This depression is not lifting and since yeasterday I feel like I have gotten worse. I cry and get mad and feel better for a bit after but never feel great or happy. Or even relieved. Just sad. And then they've started a public service campagane for couples. Every stinkin 10 minutes they show some happy...

nycbt · nycbt

Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...

muppet · muppet

Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????

nycbt · nycbt

This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...

java · java

As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...

java · java

Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...

karrele · karrele

Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do you blame others for your unhappiness? (Preview) For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...	gardengal	6	1270	Jun 20, 2007 by Baffled
	Finances and re-finances (Preview) I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...	Tiger2006	0	440	Jun 19, 2007 by Tiger2006
	update (Preview) I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...	maresie2	2	578	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	He's horrible even on Father's Day (Preview) I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....	Friendofyours	15	727	Jun 19, 2007 by Gurl25
	Being Used (Preview) I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...	carolinagirl	11	894	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	Reconnecting and taking care of me ;) (Preview) Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...	carla036	2	665	Jun 19, 2007 by belle1
	The power of Al-Anon (Preview) I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...	Gurl25	4	564	Jun 19, 2007 by twinmom2
	ESH needed (Preview) It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...	Mobirdie	3	604	Jun 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Dealing with Debt Collector's (Preview) Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...	twinmom2	6	759	Jun 19, 2007 by carla036
	Got my stinky mutts back! (Preview) I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...	serendipity	3	529	Jun 19, 2007 by annmarie
	Anyone have trouble posting? (Preview) Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.	Gurl25	2	546	Jun 18, 2007 by pabell
	Maybe I am the one that is CRAZY ???? (Preview) Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...	Tammy	9	612	Jun 18, 2007 by Tammy
	not looking forward to tomorrow (Preview) I spoke with my son tonight. His mouth said the things I would like to hear him say. Time will tell if the walk will do the same. I know he is scared, He did say though "this might all come out good....I can see this is not where I want to be." He has a court appearance at 1 pm tomorrow. Now to me...	greta	8	760	Jun 18, 2007 by maire rua
	Some good news ~ hopefully (Enforcing the Boundaries cont.) (Preview) Continuation from "Enforcing the Boundaries" post...AH came home Sunday, was all aplogetic, but I said "what do you have to say that's gonna be different than all the other times? I don't wanna hear the same old stuff - it doesn't mean anything." He said "I wanna get help....	Gurl25	3	621	Jun 18, 2007 by Christy
	Is this part of the process? (Preview) I have done nothing but cry for the past 2 days. I hold it together long enough to make thru my meetings. But as soon as I am alone ( which is when I am not at a meeting) I cry hysterically. I have been on my couch crying all day. I can't even get it together enough to do anything besides get up to use the bathroom...	serendipity	9	773	Jun 18, 2007 by canadianguy
	Dr./Test Results (Preview) I went for my dianogstic test yesterday. Dr. seems to think it's a natural change in breast tissue. I will go back in 6 months to make sure. But he didn't feel it was warranted to even do the ultra-sound...so good news here. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers! Hugs Mar	marmare	9	597	Jun 18, 2007 by Rita G
	MIP DADS..... (Preview) (((((((((((MIP DADS)))))), Just wanted to take a moment and wish all those MIP Dads tomorrow: HAPPY, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! May it be extra special for you. To those of you who are playing the role of Dad for whatever reason, HAPPY FATHERS DAY too! Or for those Dads who are also playing Mom too: HAPPY FAT...	Karilynn	3	555	Jun 18, 2007 by Rita G
	confused and returning to recovery (Preview) I recently returned to alanon after nine months (I had only been in recovery for 6 months, but they had been very successful months. I stopped going because I moved and it has taken me this long to return, or rather, to stop denying the feeling that my life is out of control again). I am in such a state of c...	pearlygirrl	3	693	Jun 18, 2007 by babysteps
	Another new one (Preview) I'm new to posting, too. I've been reading here for about 8 months, posted a few times, and think I should introduce myself. My partner -- he's more than a boyfriend -- is the first active A I've known, or at least who's been a big part of my life. I had a few recovering A boyfriends, and interestingly e...	Jamekaticy	6	620	Jun 18, 2007 by babysteps
	Working on yourself first (Preview) The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 AD) in the crypts of Westminster Abbey and illustrate how one man recognized the importance of working on himself first:"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew...	Christy	7	670	Jun 18, 2007 by drucilla06
	Oh I'm Stressin'! (Preview) I am so freakin' stressin' out right now. I am just getting so tired of being the only one to contribute financially to my household. My AH just started a new job this week and it is a good steady job w/a good company. He has worked w/them before and they know his history. So that is good. Problem, he has...	QOD	9	695	Jun 18, 2007 by QOD
	Enforcing the Boundaries (venting abit) (Preview) Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...	Gurl25	3	650	Jun 18, 2007 by Gurl25
	the hooks for me (Preview) I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...	maresie2	2	588	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Talk about crazy! (Preview) So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...	serendipity	2	441	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Feeling fed up (Preview) I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...	muppet	5	586	Jun 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	What happens at the meetings? (Preview) Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...	ler0719	4	1367	Jun 17, 2007 by kiddo
	Father's Day poem, for my dad (Preview) My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...	java	3	1021	Jun 17, 2007 by java
	Sponsors (Preview) So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...	mosaicmax	3	477	Jun 17, 2007 by supergirl
	One more time (Preview) This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...	greta	5	665	Jun 17, 2007 by gardengal
	Higher Power (Preview) I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...	karrele	2	2232	Jun 17, 2007 by Lisa44
	The sheriff showed up tonight (Preview) I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....	Kim65	16	899	Jun 17, 2007 by debilyn
	Things are getting pretty bad with ah (Preview) Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...	Friendofyours	9	768	Jun 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I doing great (Preview) Today is a very good day for me. It has to be one of the best. I feel so good about myself even if it just today. I have makeup on and have a good attuided. I have come a long way since I have stared. I not fighting with my husband like when i first started. I used to get very voliet and break glass and anything I had...	nycbt	1	443	Jun 16, 2007 by nmike
	Someone's lost, is there hope? Keep praying for him. (Preview) Good Morning. This is my first posting (and going to be a long one at that, Sorry!), and to be honest I am scared. Ive wanted to post something for a while, but never had the courage until this morning, when I saw my best friend throwing his life away even more than before. I don't know what I am doing, but I k...	taco	3	601	Jun 16, 2007 by wp
	feeling all mixed up... rambling (Preview) I've been feeling a bit mixed up last night and today... different emotions spinning around in my head... I don't know... am getting to a meeting tonight, not sure if it will be AA or Alanon... both meet at the same time... probably need to go to the AA meeting, since my sponsor will be there and she'...	LisaF	1	486	Jun 16, 2007 by carolena
	grief and disappointment (Preview) Hey y'all, well, my mind's sorta been on overload a bit lol but was thinking a bit today about the meeting I went to last night, it was a book study, not sure what book it was from actually, but they were just starting on it, so we read the preface and introduction, and it was talking about grief and disapp...	LisaF	6	726	Jun 16, 2007 by LisaF
	Livid (Preview) [FYI: My husband is an alcoholic (binges alot of wkends to the pt of passing out but doesn't drink the rest of the time).] Anyway, my sister is in rehab and was able to have her first visit last Thursday - Thursday nights are family group nights. So my husband knows her and is (or seemed) supportive of m...	Gurl25	5	502	Jun 16, 2007 by CJ
	Hi, I'm new here... (Preview) Hey y'all... my name is Lisa, I'm a recovering alcoholic... and realized over the past few months that I should probably be in Alanon as well... I've been going to the AA forum here on MIP for quite awhile now... I'm originally from Memphis, TN... I left my (alcoholic???) husband in December... m...	LisaF	6	642	Jun 16, 2007 by CJ
	Update on the Livid thing... (Preview) He was still mad this morning, which is why I was still so upset and wrote that huge vent (thanks for the comforting replies everyone). He just called to apologize and says he'll be home around 7:30 tonight. We'll see abt that...my anxiety always starts to pump as the minutes tick by after I get home fr...	Gurl25	4	899	Jun 16, 2007 by theemediapro
	Faith Remains - a poem (Preview) This is a glum day. The sun is shining, but not in my heart. Life beats on, but without any melody. A fog of gloom hangs about in the sunny corners of the day's rays. Where is the hope, the faith that lingered but yesterday? Not that much has changed, yet everything has changed. Circumstances in life have d...	java	0	511	Jun 16, 2007 by theemediapro
	Dream's! (Preview) I spent a lovely afternoon with an alanon friend yesterday ,I alway's have the feel good factor around and after I been with her.We talk at length about how alchohol has affected our lives and the lives of our children.And then, I had a dream last night about going to buy another house, I just wanted it s...	Katy	2	629	Jun 16, 2007 by java
	A great reminder for me... (Preview) Hi Friends~ After searching my archives of CAL literature ,I found this to pass on to a friend in the program ,and was reminded of the compassion I need to keep for the alcoholics in my own life~ Hope you all don't mind me sharing it here ;) An Open Letter to My FamilyI am an alcoholic. I need help. Dont allow...	carla036	2	627	Jun 16, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	Going to another meeting today.... (Preview) Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while. I had graduations and trips and changes. My oldest son in the military is still sick and just hanging on. Even in all of this I realize that he has to be in enough pain to ask for help. My mother went through surgery two weeks ago. She is elderly and has had a rough go. I...	nmike	1	586	Jun 16, 2007 by Leetle
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) AH still in rehab. Talked to him last night. I told him about a job interview that I had. I'm really excited about the job and I hope I get hired. It's exactly what I've been looking for. The only drawback is that it requires overnight travel about 50% of the time. AH asked me how he was supposed to go to AA mee...	karrele	6	555	Jun 16, 2007 by Karilynn
	taking it one day at a time (Preview) As you all know the A is homeless and penniless. He has appointments for various socail service things. In theory he has work that is coming down the line. He would like me to snap my fingers and fix it all for him. I don't. Everything in me screams that I should stop everything and do that. ...	maresie2	8	632	Jun 15, 2007 by theemediapro
	Needing Balance (Preview) I am feeling very powerless today with the goings on of those around me. My mother, who I helped a week and a half ago get my A brother out of her apartment has rescued him once again by putting him up in a motel - "good news she says, he has decided to go the VA for help!". Meanwhile, she has kept...	bill f	7	573	Jun 15, 2007 by theemediapro
	A date? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I need a reality check. My A actually wants me to get a sitter for the kids so that we can "go out and see what happens." So since last night my mind has wandered to all the scenerios that "could" happen and I can't think of one that is positive for me. The past...	Lunamoth	4	517	Jun 15, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Are they capable of loving? Even their children? (Preview) I have thought about this here and there and then reading lunamoth's post made me think once again I am reading my own story. Almost anyway. What I was wondering is if A's truly love their children or just see them as a tool to keep women/men attached to them so that they can continue to use. Then I start...	carolinagirl	7	751	Jun 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	Depression (Preview) This depression is not lifting and since yeasterday I feel like I have gotten worse. I cry and get mad and feel better for a bit after but never feel great or happy. Or even relieved. Just sad. And then they've started a public service campagane for couples. Every stinkin 10 minutes they show some happy...	serendipity	4	484	Jun 15, 2007 by Mindful
	how i am doing (Preview) Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...	nycbt	2	475	Jun 15, 2007 by maresie2
	How wives/husbands of A's are seen & what we really are (Preview) We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...	Gurl25	4	1150	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Have I been stupid (Preview) Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????	muppet	3	472	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	for beginners (Preview) This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...	nycbt	0	503	Jun 15, 2007 by nycbt
	Remind me I'm worth it (Preview) I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...	Tiger2006	8	719	Jun 15, 2007 by Maria123
	I want to be me. (Preview) As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...	java	4	544	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	new here (Preview) New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...	mosaicmax	5	603	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on? (Preview) Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...	java	10	677	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Down the home stretch (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...	Jennifer	3	495	Jun 14, 2007 by Lunamoth
	New here (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...	karrele	8	710	Jun 14, 2007 by karrele
	To every disaster some perspective I suppose.... (Preview) WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...	Tiger2006	0	372	Jun 14, 2007 by Tiger2006
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.