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Dream's!
(Preview)
I spent a lovely afternoon with an alanon friend yesterday ,I alway's have the feel good factor around and after I been with her.We talk at length about how alchohol has affected our lives and the lives of our children.And then, I had a dream last night about going to buy another house, I just wanted it s...
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Katy
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2
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503
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A great reminder for me...
(Preview)
Hi Friends~ After searching my archives of CAL literature ,I found this to pass on to a friend in the program ,and was reminded of the compassion I need to keep for the alcoholics in my own life~ Hope you all don't mind me sharing it here ;) An Open Letter to My FamilyI am an alcoholic. I need help. Dont allow...
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carla036
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2
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524
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Going to another meeting today....
(Preview)
Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while. I had graduations and trips and changes. My oldest son in the military is still sick and just hanging on. Even in all of this I realize that he has to be in enough pain to ask for help. My mother went through surgery two weeks ago. She is elderly and has had a rough go. I...
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nmike
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1
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479
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Am I being selfish?
(Preview)
AH still in rehab. Talked to him last night. I told him about a job interview that I had. I'm really excited about the job and I hope I get hired. It's exactly what I've been looking for. The only drawback is that it requires overnight travel about 50% of the time. AH asked me how he was supposed to go to AA mee...
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karrele
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6
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449
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taking it one day at a time
(Preview)
As you all know the A is homeless and penniless. He has appointments for various socail service things. In theory he has work that is coming down the line.
He would like me to snap my fingers and fix it all for him.
I don't.
Everything in me screams that I should stop everything and do that.
...
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maresie2
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8
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526
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Needing Balance
(Preview)
I am feeling very powerless today with the goings on of those around me. My mother, who I helped a week and a half ago get my A brother out of her apartment has rescued him once again by putting him up in a motel - "good news she says, he has decided to go the VA for help!". Meanwhile, she has kept...
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bill f
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7
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469
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A date?
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))) I need a reality check. My A actually wants me to get a sitter for the kids so that we can "go out and see what happens." So since last night my mind has wandered to all the scenerios that "could" happen and I can't think of one that is positive for me. The past...
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Lunamoth
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4
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407
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Are they capable of loving? Even their children?
(Preview)
I have thought about this here and there and then reading lunamoth's post made me think once again I am reading my own story. Almost anyway. What I was wondering is if A's truly love their children or just see them as a tool to keep women/men attached to them so that they can continue to use. Then I start...
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carolinagirl
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7
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653
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Depression
(Preview)
This depression is not lifting and since yeasterday I feel like I have gotten worse. I cry and get mad and feel better for a bit after but never feel great or happy. Or even relieved. Just sad. And then they've started a public service campagane for couples. Every stinkin 10 minutes they show some happy...
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serendipity
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4
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357
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how i am doing
(Preview)
Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...
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nycbt
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2
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372
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How wives/husbands of A's are seen & what we really are
(Preview)
We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...
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Gurl25
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4
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962
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Have I been stupid
(Preview)
Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????
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muppet
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3
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367
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for beginners
(Preview)
This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...
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nycbt
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0
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399
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Remind me I'm worth it
(Preview)
I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...
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Tiger2006
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8
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609
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I want to be me.
(Preview)
As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...
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java
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4
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439
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new here
(Preview)
New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...
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mosaicmax
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5
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501
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Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?
(Preview)
Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...
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java
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10
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581
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Down the home stretch
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...
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Jennifer
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3
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392
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New here
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...
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karrele
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8
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607
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To every disaster some perspective I suppose....
(Preview)
WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...
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Tiger2006
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0
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267
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A Share
(Preview)
The A/DA in my life is my son. Fortunately he is back in program and for the time being seems to be doing very well. I am slowly regaining my relationship with my son and it does feel very good. We had a phone conversation last week and something he said seemed to have little flags all over it saying "...
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Mobirdie
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5
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431
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A Share for our Children
(Preview)
I saw this today and wanted to pass it along. Have a wonderful day. Peace, Twinmom~ Children Learn If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with shame, they lear...
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twinmom2
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1
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365
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Self acceptance
(Preview)
(((((((Family)))), Our beloved sweet Tea did a post earlier asking what are some of our favorite passages from readings were (look on page 2). Well here I am better late than never! lol I've been doing some rethinking about my life, etc. I'm not trying to dwell on the past or project on the future. I...
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Karilynn
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4
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880
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Life is so confusing...
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) Got a little "love letter" from my wife last friday. It said that she knows that the drinking was a way to cope for her and that it has caused problems in our marriage. Friday nights we normally try to get diner together as a family. The kiddo had plans with a friend so...
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rtexas
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11
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825
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Provacation!
(Preview)
My now sober ah is still very good at this, the thing is, it pushes those around him that love him away, We, his children, and me, his wife don't understand why, out of the blue usually he will do this, we all seem to be happy and then it happens, it's very upsetting, we try to ignore and not react and detach...
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Katy
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6
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537
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Empty, numb and confused
(Preview)
Hello. I am brand new to Al-Anon and while I do not know much about it here goes: I am so tired of my alcoholic boyfriend. We lived together up until 2 days ago when I left with out 23 month old son. He drinks constantly. Has been in rehab about 7 times in the past 10 years. We have been together for 4 year...
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ler0719
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14
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2123
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This made a few happy.....
(Preview)
I am miscarrying. I'm pretty sure ah is no longer sober. The phone calls from him while I was in the ER were unreal. He was cussing at me and calling me every name in the book. This is the drinker I know. The nondrinker would have been kind and caring. He took off work at noon and I thought he might come over to t...
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Friendofyours
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13
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706
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Got a question...
(Preview)
SOmeone please explain to me why AlAnon says, "What other people think of me is none of my business." Truly I do not care much what other people think, and "think" is the operative word here. I would not call myself a people-pleaser to excess, but all of us know one or two people w...
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Diva
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15
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551
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Off the topic of As for a minute.
(Preview)
This morning, at 4:00, my older son left after a four-day visit. Now this son is grown, he is educated and bright, doing well for himself, never a single problem with the law, gentle, kind, sober, never had a problem with abuse of any kind, and a real pain in the ass!!! He is an artist in the true sense of the...
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Diva
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11
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645
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Pity?
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))) I feel like I've been shot with a canon and I have a huge hole in me. I look at it but it's not painful...there is just a huge chunk missing, it doesn't feel right. My A is all over the place. He says things that make no sense, he seems nervous and on edge. I hate this. I keep stepping back...
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Lunamoth
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10
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654
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I Don't Know
(Preview)
Well, I just read Kim's post about the goats and it was really inspiring. To keep going, to acknowledge the pain and move despite it and find the joy. I have twice now done things involving my ex and his agf that I will regret. Nothing major just my own confrontational mouth. I come off looking like the cr...
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serendipity
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6
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433
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Happy Birthday Java
(Preview)
Happy Birthday Java - Enjoy some calorie free cake!! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Rita
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Rita G
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8
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520
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Letter from the A
(Preview)
Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...
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carolinagirl
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3
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382
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Sealy Sealy Sealy
(Preview)
Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve
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Eve Eve Eve
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0
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365
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Right Where I'm Supposed to Be?
(Preview)
I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...
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serendipity
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4
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597
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Advice on Bounderies
(Preview)
My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...
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Gurl25
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12
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600
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Have you been able to take the focus off the alcoholic, and place it on yourself?
(Preview)
Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...
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gardengal
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3
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417
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Plan B Take two
(Preview)
(((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...
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lilms
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3
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419
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I will be getting fired this week
(Preview)
My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...
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kissers
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5
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662
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playing the victim
(Preview)
This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...
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maresie2
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3
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490
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Plan B = Done
(Preview)
((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...
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lilms
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3
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421
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new to the forum .....help
(Preview)
hello, i am new to the forum although i have been reading the message board for the past year or so and finally plucked up the courage to post my situation which is spiralling out of control. I am originally from the UK and have been living in Cyprus for the past 17 years. i have no way of attending a face t...
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sulli
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7
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583
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OT: As so kindly requested . . .
(Preview)
Some of you may remember my 'horrible day' three weeks ago when I lost two dairy goats to overeating disease. I've been looking and dithering for a while and finally found my three new girls in a nearby burg (well, 82 miles is nearby around here). They are Nubian dairy goats, real big with these immense...
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Kim65
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5
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627
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Just an update
(Preview)
Its been a while since I've posted on here.... Right now things in my life are "good" ... I've been keeping busy, enjoying the sun and sand, enjoying my children, family and friends. And even enjoying the company of my ex A. Although I am not diving back into a relationship with my ex A b/f, w...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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2
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328
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leaving to go back to florida
(Preview)
we buried my 2 week old cousin on friday,it was such a sad day,and week i was supposed to head back to florida on friday but this was more important..tomorrow im leaving to go back,but im coming back here{ny} july 5 going to spend july 4 with SAH ..and spend some time with his mom..it is going to be hard to be...
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bev
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2
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406
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Intimacy issues
(Preview)
I have been married for 15 years and truly could take or leave sex. My husband and I have lost nearly any moments of intimacy in our marriage and it makes me sad. For me there needs to be an emotional connection, a kindness, communication etc. I realize that my issues are not solely about the A, but we ha...
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confused
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12
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4939
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What goes around comes around?
(Preview)
"What goes around, comes around" was recently mentioned in a post. Some of us Alanoners are waiting for the A's to get their payback for all the suffering they cause and have caused. My 16 mo. sober husband was home this week from Alaska (he's working there) and we discussed that sentence a...
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Christy
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13
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851
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Confused
(Preview)
I'm sitting here wondering if I'm being cruel. Two days ago the A has told me he hates me, to fxxx off, never to contact him. Today he denies saying any of this and asks to meet up tomorrow. He says I'm being horrible to him. I said I can't do it. I never know how I stand. He tells me he knows I love him so why am I be...
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muppet
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7
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475
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sitting tight
(Preview)
I am trying to do as Carolinagirl suggests and just sit tight and wait it out. The A is still alive barely. The way he looked ont the weekend was desperate. He has some under the table jobs (that is psychologically all he can do). The dogs are still alive. I still have a roof over my head but it is total chaos t...
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maresie2
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2
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335
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Decided to visit the A in jail.
(Preview)
Well I have had the visiting form on my counter at home for two weeks and finally filled it out yesterday with a half nice, half not so nice letter to the A. I wonder if I am shooting myself in the foot by not just walking away now. I haven't gotten any mail from him since the letter with the visit form and I am...
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carolinagirl
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1
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364
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Respect and Disrespect
(Preview)
My AH loves to tell me that I treat him disrespectfully. Usually he mutters it under his breath. On the rare occassion that he comes right out and says it, I usually end up apologizing rather than engaging in something I believe will end up being non-productive. Here's what I would really like to say: Re...
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babysteps
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4
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892
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Does it get better?
(Preview)
In about 10 days, my husband will be sober 90 days. In the beginning it was great. He seemed to really realize what a shi* he had been. I actually could have a conversation with him and no longer had to wonder how long it would take for him to pass out every night. For the past month he has been extremely mo...
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sash
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5
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489
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It's ok to love an A
(Preview)
Just have a few minutes before I leave my office for a busy weekend, but I wanted to share bits this wonderful discussion I had with a fellow Al-Anon from my f2f group. . . She was struggling with and beating herself up because she had feelings for someone who has an addiction. My HP lead me to say the...
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Rita G
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7
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585
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good news and bad news
(Preview)
The good news is that I have access to my dogs. The bad news is that I have not been sent or given the rescue groups that were promised to me. I was supposed to get emails about them but they never materialised. That makes me very very leery of asking anyone for anything at all.
The bad news is that not one...
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maresie2
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5
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437
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REMEMBERING SEX...LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) I read a post about Intamacy, and wow, It has given me some food for thought. For the last few years, I have not gone near sex..Because I never trusted anyone enough to let them close to me. Last year I started having sex, as you all know. And It was like learning...
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ally
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6
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719
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No idea what to call this
(Preview)
This morning, AH handed me a cup of coffee while I went to the bathroom, barely awake . . . and a little later, I heard him on the phone talking about goats . . . he'd called on an ad for two Nubian milking goats, pretty much the answer to my "greatest farm prayers". He told me, "You stay here...
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Kim65
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11
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565
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How to respond to someone in a Center going thru the Program???
(Preview)
I have a relative who is currently in a Center, for Drug Abuse, and has just finished Detox and into the 12 steps. When they call, they tell me a lot of things -- like it is only the beginning of the battle, they realize they have to learn about themselves, etc. I don't know how to respond. I don't know if t...
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PapaBear
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5
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593
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Learning...Life is hard, but easier with boundaries
(Preview)
I am finally learing something...to take care of me through setting realistic boundaries :) and I am so happy! Last weekend I went to my parents house to celebrate my A-dad's b-day and father's day (a week early). My dad has gone to rehab and has relapsed 1 1/2 years latter. At first I was angry and hurt b...
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Patches
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1
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415
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if I just had me
(Preview)
I was journaling in the middle of the night the other night when I couldn't sleep. I came up with this poem: If I just had me how nice it would be Not to fret and worry over another. If I just had me, I might hug a tree. The tree would grow and provide me shade to sit and contemplate... If I just had me how boring...
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java
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3
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430
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Losing My Mind
(Preview)
I am losing my mind. As you all know, I married a wonderful man. He has his problems like we all do, but one of them I just can not tolerate any longer in my home. That is the damage that his exwife casues with their 13 year old son. I am at the point of seeking a divorce to get away from it, and thats not like m...
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Unsure
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3
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402
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