Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...

serendipity · serendipity

So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...

muppet · muppet

I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...

ler0719 · ler0719

Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...

java · java

My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...

greta · greta

This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...

karrele · karrele

I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...

Kim65 · Kim65

I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...

nycbt · nycbt

Today is a very good day for me. It has to be one of the best. I feel so good about myself even if it just today. I have makeup on and have a good attuided. I have come a long way since I have stared. I not fighting with my husband like when i first started. I used to get very voliet and break glass and anything I had...

taco · taco

Good Morning. This is my first posting (and going to be a long one at that, Sorry!), and to be honest I am scared. Ive wanted to post something for a while, but never had the courage until this morning, when I saw my best friend throwing his life away even more than before. I don't know what I am doing, but I k...

LisaF · LisaF

I've been feeling a bit mixed up last night and today... different emotions spinning around in my head... I don't know... am getting to a meeting tonight, not sure if it will be AA or Alanon... both meet at the same time... probably need to go to the AA meeting, since my sponsor will be there and she'...

LisaF · LisaF

Hey y'all, well, my mind's sorta been on overload a bit lol but was thinking a bit today about the meeting I went to last night, it was a book study, not sure what book it was from actually, but they were just starting on it, so we read the preface and introduction, and it was talking about grief and disapp...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

[FYI: My husband is an alcoholic (binges alot of wkends to the pt of passing out but doesn't drink the rest of the time).] Anyway, my sister is in rehab and was able to have her first visit last Thursday - Thursday nights are family group nights. So my husband knows her and is (or seemed) supportive of m...

LisaF · LisaF

Hey y'all... my name is Lisa, I'm a recovering alcoholic... and realized over the past few months that I should probably be in Alanon as well... I've been going to the AA forum here on MIP for quite awhile now... I'm originally from Memphis, TN... I left my (alcoholic???) husband in December... m...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

He was still mad this morning, which is why I was still so upset and wrote that huge vent (thanks for the comforting replies everyone). He just called to apologize and says he'll be home around 7:30 tonight. We'll see abt that...my anxiety always starts to pump as the minutes tick by after I get home fr...

java · java

This is a glum day. The sun is shining, but not in my heart. Life beats on, but without any melody. A fog of gloom hangs about in the sunny corners of the day's rays. Where is the hope, the faith that lingered but yesterday? Not that much has changed, yet everything has changed. Circumstances in life have d...

Katy · Katy

I spent a lovely afternoon with an alanon friend yesterday ,I alway's have the feel good factor around and after I been with her.We talk at length about how alchohol has affected our lives and the lives of our children.And then, I had a dream last night about going to buy another house, I just wanted it s...

carla036 · carla036

Hi Friends~ After searching my archives of CAL literature ,I found this to pass on to a friend in the program ,and was reminded of the compassion I need to keep for the alcoholics in my own life~ Hope you all don't mind me sharing it here ;) An Open Letter to My FamilyI am an alcoholic. I need help. Dont allow...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while. I had graduations and trips and changes. My oldest son in the military is still sick and just hanging on. Even in all of this I realize that he has to be in enough pain to ask for help. My mother went through surgery two weeks ago. She is elderly and has had a rough go. I...

karrele · karrele

AH still in rehab. Talked to him last night. I told him about a job interview that I had. I'm really excited about the job and I hope I get hired. It's exactly what I've been looking for. The only drawback is that it requires overnight travel about 50% of the time. AH asked me how he was supposed to go to AA mee...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know the A is homeless and penniless. He has appointments for various socail service things. In theory he has work that is coming down the line. He would like me to snap my fingers and fix it all for him. I don't. Everything in me screams that I should stop everything and do that. ...

bill f · bill f

I am feeling very powerless today with the goings on of those around me. My mother, who I helped a week and a half ago get my A brother out of her apartment has rescued him once again by putting him up in a motel - "good news she says, he has decided to go the VA for help!". Meanwhile, she has kept...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I need a reality check. My A actually wants me to get a sitter for the kids so that we can "go out and see what happens." So since last night my mind has wandered to all the scenerios that "could" happen and I can't think of one that is positive for me. The past...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have thought about this here and there and then reading lunamoth's post made me think once again I am reading my own story. Almost anyway. What I was wondering is if A's truly love their children or just see them as a tool to keep women/men attached to them so that they can continue to use. Then I start...

serendipity · serendipity

This depression is not lifting and since yeasterday I feel like I have gotten worse. I cry and get mad and feel better for a bit after but never feel great or happy. Or even relieved. Just sad. And then they've started a public service campagane for couples. Every stinkin 10 minutes they show some happy...

nycbt · nycbt

Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...

muppet · muppet

Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????

nycbt · nycbt

This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...

java · java

As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...

java · java

Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...

karrele · karrele

Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

The A/DA in my life is my son. Fortunately he is back in program and for the time being seems to be doing very well. I am slowly regaining my relationship with my son and it does feel very good. We had a phone conversation last week and something he said seemed to have little flags all over it saying "...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I saw this today and wanted to pass it along. Have a wonderful day. Peace, Twinmom~ Children Learn If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with shame, they lear...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))), Our beloved sweet Tea did a post earlier asking what are some of our favorite passages from readings were (look on page 2). Well here I am better late than never! lol I've been doing some rethinking about my life, etc. I'm not trying to dwell on the past or project on the future. I...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Got a little "love letter" from my wife last friday. It said that she knows that the drinking was a way to cope for her and that it has caused problems in our marriage. Friday nights we normally try to get diner together as a family. The kiddo had plans with a friend so...

Katy · Katy

My now sober ah is still very good at this, the thing is, it pushes those around him that love him away, We, his children, and me, his wife don't understand why, out of the blue usually he will do this, we all seem to be happy and then it happens, it's very upsetting, we try to ignore and not react and detach...

ler0719 · ler0719

Hello. I am brand new to Al-Anon and while I do not know much about it here goes: I am so tired of my alcoholic boyfriend. We lived together up until 2 days ago when I left with out 23 month old son. He drinks constantly. Has been in rehab about 7 times in the past 10 years. We have been together for 4 year...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I am miscarrying. I'm pretty sure ah is no longer sober. The phone calls from him while I was in the ER were unreal. He was cussing at me and calling me every name in the book. This is the drinker I know. The nondrinker would have been kind and caring. He took off work at noon and I thought he might come over to t...

Diva · Diva

SOmeone please explain to me why AlAnon says, "What other people think of me is none of my business." Truly I do not care much what other people think, and "think" is the operative word here. I would not call myself a people-pleaser to excess, but all of us know one or two people w...

Diva · Diva

This morning, at 4:00, my older son left after a four-day visit. Now this son is grown, he is educated and bright, doing well for himself, never a single problem with the law, gentle, kind, sober, never had a problem with abuse of any kind, and a real pain in the ass!!! He is an artist in the true sense of the...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I feel like I've been shot with a canon and I have a huge hole in me. I look at it but it's not painful...there is just a huge chunk missing, it doesn't feel right. My A is all over the place. He says things that make no sense, he seems nervous and on edge. I hate this. I keep stepping back...

serendipity · serendipity

Well, I just read Kim's post about the goats and it was really inspiring. To keep going, to acknowledge the pain and move despite it and find the joy. I have twice now done things involving my ex and his agf that I will regret. Nothing major just my own confrontational mouth. I come off looking like the cr...

Rita G · Rita G

Happy Birthday Java - Enjoy some calorie free cake!! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Rita

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...

Eve Eve Eve · Eve Eve Eve

Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve

serendipity · serendipity

I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...

lilms · lilms

(((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...

kissers · kissers

My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...

maresie2 · maresie2

This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...

lilms · lilms

((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Enforcing the Boundaries (venting abit) (Preview) Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...	Gurl25	3	562	Jun 18, 2007 by Gurl25
	the hooks for me (Preview) I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...	maresie2	2	499	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Talk about crazy! (Preview) So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...	serendipity	2	358	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Feeling fed up (Preview) I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...	muppet	5	497	Jun 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	What happens at the meetings? (Preview) Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...	ler0719	4	1270	Jun 17, 2007 by kiddo
	Father's Day poem, for my dad (Preview) My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...	java	3	934	Jun 17, 2007 by java
	Sponsors (Preview) So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...	mosaicmax	3	356	Jun 17, 2007 by supergirl
	One more time (Preview) This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...	greta	5	571	Jun 17, 2007 by gardengal
	Higher Power (Preview) I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...	karrele	2	2091	Jun 17, 2007 by Lisa44
	The sheriff showed up tonight (Preview) I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....	Kim65	16	807	Jun 17, 2007 by debilyn
	Things are getting pretty bad with ah (Preview) Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...	Friendofyours	9	680	Jun 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I doing great (Preview) Today is a very good day for me. It has to be one of the best. I feel so good about myself even if it just today. I have makeup on and have a good attuided. I have come a long way since I have stared. I not fighting with my husband like when i first started. I used to get very voliet and break glass and anything I had...	nycbt	1	358	Jun 16, 2007 by nmike
	Someone's lost, is there hope? Keep praying for him. (Preview) Good Morning. This is my first posting (and going to be a long one at that, Sorry!), and to be honest I am scared. Ive wanted to post something for a while, but never had the courage until this morning, when I saw my best friend throwing his life away even more than before. I don't know what I am doing, but I k...	taco	3	512	Jun 16, 2007 by wp
	feeling all mixed up... rambling (Preview) I've been feeling a bit mixed up last night and today... different emotions spinning around in my head... I don't know... am getting to a meeting tonight, not sure if it will be AA or Alanon... both meet at the same time... probably need to go to the AA meeting, since my sponsor will be there and she'...	LisaF	1	393	Jun 16, 2007 by carolena
	grief and disappointment (Preview) Hey y'all, well, my mind's sorta been on overload a bit lol but was thinking a bit today about the meeting I went to last night, it was a book study, not sure what book it was from actually, but they were just starting on it, so we read the preface and introduction, and it was talking about grief and disapp...	LisaF	6	632	Jun 16, 2007 by LisaF
	Livid (Preview) [FYI: My husband is an alcoholic (binges alot of wkends to the pt of passing out but doesn't drink the rest of the time).] Anyway, my sister is in rehab and was able to have her first visit last Thursday - Thursday nights are family group nights. So my husband knows her and is (or seemed) supportive of m...	Gurl25	5	388	Jun 16, 2007 by CJ
	Hi, I'm new here... (Preview) Hey y'all... my name is Lisa, I'm a recovering alcoholic... and realized over the past few months that I should probably be in Alanon as well... I've been going to the AA forum here on MIP for quite awhile now... I'm originally from Memphis, TN... I left my (alcoholic???) husband in December... m...	LisaF	6	539	Jun 16, 2007 by CJ
	Update on the Livid thing... (Preview) He was still mad this morning, which is why I was still so upset and wrote that huge vent (thanks for the comforting replies everyone). He just called to apologize and says he'll be home around 7:30 tonight. We'll see abt that...my anxiety always starts to pump as the minutes tick by after I get home fr...	Gurl25	4	808	Jun 16, 2007 by theemediapro
	Faith Remains - a poem (Preview) This is a glum day. The sun is shining, but not in my heart. Life beats on, but without any melody. A fog of gloom hangs about in the sunny corners of the day's rays. Where is the hope, the faith that lingered but yesterday? Not that much has changed, yet everything has changed. Circumstances in life have d...	java	0	418	Jun 16, 2007 by theemediapro
	Dream's! (Preview) I spent a lovely afternoon with an alanon friend yesterday ,I alway's have the feel good factor around and after I been with her.We talk at length about how alchohol has affected our lives and the lives of our children.And then, I had a dream last night about going to buy another house, I just wanted it s...	Katy	2	515	Jun 16, 2007 by java
	A great reminder for me... (Preview) Hi Friends~ After searching my archives of CAL literature ,I found this to pass on to a friend in the program ,and was reminded of the compassion I need to keep for the alcoholics in my own life~ Hope you all don't mind me sharing it here ;) An Open Letter to My FamilyI am an alcoholic. I need help. Dont allow...	carla036	2	541	Jun 16, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	Going to another meeting today.... (Preview) Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while. I had graduations and trips and changes. My oldest son in the military is still sick and just hanging on. Even in all of this I realize that he has to be in enough pain to ask for help. My mother went through surgery two weeks ago. She is elderly and has had a rough go. I...	nmike	1	496	Jun 16, 2007 by Leetle
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) AH still in rehab. Talked to him last night. I told him about a job interview that I had. I'm really excited about the job and I hope I get hired. It's exactly what I've been looking for. The only drawback is that it requires overnight travel about 50% of the time. AH asked me how he was supposed to go to AA mee...	karrele	6	465	Jun 16, 2007 by Karilynn
	taking it one day at a time (Preview) As you all know the A is homeless and penniless. He has appointments for various socail service things. In theory he has work that is coming down the line. He would like me to snap my fingers and fix it all for him. I don't. Everything in me screams that I should stop everything and do that. ...	maresie2	8	541	Jun 15, 2007 by theemediapro
	Needing Balance (Preview) I am feeling very powerless today with the goings on of those around me. My mother, who I helped a week and a half ago get my A brother out of her apartment has rescued him once again by putting him up in a motel - "good news she says, he has decided to go the VA for help!". Meanwhile, she has kept...	bill f	7	484	Jun 15, 2007 by theemediapro
	A date? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I need a reality check. My A actually wants me to get a sitter for the kids so that we can "go out and see what happens." So since last night my mind has wandered to all the scenerios that "could" happen and I can't think of one that is positive for me. The past...	Lunamoth	4	425	Jun 15, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Are they capable of loving? Even their children? (Preview) I have thought about this here and there and then reading lunamoth's post made me think once again I am reading my own story. Almost anyway. What I was wondering is if A's truly love their children or just see them as a tool to keep women/men attached to them so that they can continue to use. Then I start...	carolinagirl	7	665	Jun 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	Depression (Preview) This depression is not lifting and since yeasterday I feel like I have gotten worse. I cry and get mad and feel better for a bit after but never feel great or happy. Or even relieved. Just sad. And then they've started a public service campagane for couples. Every stinkin 10 minutes they show some happy...	serendipity	4	373	Jun 15, 2007 by Mindful
	how i am doing (Preview) Let me update u on what has been going on . I went to the doctor and he told me to stop taking the Lexapro. I needed to start more of my mellari a tranquiller I am on a higher dose, I went from 50 to 150 mgs. Then On Thursday I ran out of my 18mg concerta last week, and I have been on the 54mg this week since Friday. I...	nycbt	2	387	Jun 15, 2007 by maresie2
	How wives/husbands of A's are seen & what we really are (Preview) We are seen as:weakpushoversmentally messed uphaving "daddy/mommy" issues idiots We are:StrongForgivingFaithfulCaringCompassionateEmpatheticLoving Got anything to add? Even if it's negative, please vent, I think we could all use some counters for all the negative we feel or...	Gurl25	4	993	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Have I been stupid (Preview) Ive kept my distance from the A, been nasty in order to keep him away since last Saturday and today I couldn't help myself. I contacted him and was as bad as him pretending nothing had happened. Am I insane????	muppet	3	384	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	for beginners (Preview) This is when I started Alanon about 2+ years ago. When I first started I was angry because I found bottles that he was drinking the airplane bottles and I was very upset. A couple of days later I saw some progress I decided to give one work answer to his questions when he was drunk instead of fighting with hi...	nycbt	0	413	Jun 15, 2007 by nycbt
	Remind me I'm worth it (Preview) I'm invading the clearance racks to get new clothes for work. And right now I'm "should-ing" all over myself. I'm thinking "I should be past this phase of my guilt. I should be past this phase of shame. I should be past this phase of the itty bitty shi**y comitte. I should be able to sugg...	Tiger2006	8	628	Jun 15, 2007 by Maria123
	I want to be me. (Preview) As I try to find myself in this program, I've discovered it's an ongoing process. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my journey in this area. I want to be me. I don't want to be known as someone's wife. I don't want to be known as someone's daughter. I don't want to be known as someone's mom. I don't want...	java	4	454	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	new here (Preview) New here. Going to second meeting tonight. Husband is cocaine addict, not alcoholic but Al-Anon is still helping me tremendously. My main problem right now is finding the balance between detachment and boundaries. I am hoping my meeting tonight will help. Plan on speaking for the first time. After...	mosaicmax	5	519	Jun 15, 2007 by twinmom2
	Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on? (Preview) Thanks for all your posts to "my husband has announced he is 'done'" Well that lasted four days. Bill f. was right, just another ploy to control. We talked and it is amazing to me how somehow he made this out to be me, mostly. "Do you want me to put my wedding ring back on?" he said. To...	java	10	595	Jun 15, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Down the home stretch (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I'm coming down the home stretch! Or sliding in to home ... or she could go alllll the way. Whichever term you're more familiar with One way or another the house will no longer be my responsibility as of Aug 7. Moment of sadness and then HURRAY! I am finally moving. I've looked at a coup...	Jennifer	3	409	Jun 14, 2007 by Lunamoth
	New here (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here but after reading your posts, I feel comfortable. I am on my second tour of duty with my AH. He is currently in a treatment center for the second time in less than a year. The first time I felt so much hope and happiness. Guess that was my pink cloud experience. This time around I'm j...	karrele	8	623	Jun 14, 2007 by karrele
	To every disaster some perspective I suppose.... (Preview) WHEN MY Navy Medical Reserve Unit was called up for Operation Desert Storm, I was awakened by a phone call at three o'clock on a Sunday morning with the order to report for duty in four hours for processing. After I hung up the phone, my husband groggily asked, "Who was that?" "Oh, hone...	Tiger2006	0	284	Jun 14, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A Share (Preview) The A/DA in my life is my son. Fortunately he is back in program and for the time being seems to be doing very well. I am slowly regaining my relationship with my son and it does feel very good. We had a phone conversation last week and something he said seemed to have little flags all over it saying "...	Mobirdie	5	444	Jun 14, 2007 by Rita G
	A Share for our Children (Preview) I saw this today and wanted to pass it along. Have a wonderful day. Peace, Twinmom~ Children Learn If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with shame, they lear...	twinmom2	1	379	Jun 14, 2007 by Rita G
	Self acceptance (Preview) (((((((Family)))), Our beloved sweet Tea did a post earlier asking what are some of our favorite passages from readings were (look on page 2). Well here I am better late than never! lol I've been doing some rethinking about my life, etc. I'm not trying to dwell on the past or project on the future. I...	Karilynn	4	898	Jun 14, 2007 by QOD
	Life is so confusing... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Got a little "love letter" from my wife last friday. It said that she knows that the drinking was a way to cope for her and that it has caused problems in our marriage. Friday nights we normally try to get diner together as a family. The kiddo had plans with a friend so...	rtexas	11	842	Jun 14, 2007 by hersh
	Provacation! (Preview) My now sober ah is still very good at this, the thing is, it pushes those around him that love him away, We, his children, and me, his wife don't understand why, out of the blue usually he will do this, we all seem to be happy and then it happens, it's very upsetting, we try to ignore and not react and detach...	Katy	6	553	Jun 14, 2007 by ShelBell
	Empty, numb and confused (Preview) Hello. I am brand new to Al-Anon and while I do not know much about it here goes: I am so tired of my alcoholic boyfriend. We lived together up until 2 days ago when I left with out 23 month old son. He drinks constantly. Has been in rehab about 7 times in the past 10 years. We have been together for 4 year...	ler0719	14	2164	Jun 14, 2007 by twinmom2
	This made a few happy..... (Preview) I am miscarrying. I'm pretty sure ah is no longer sober. The phone calls from him while I was in the ER were unreal. He was cussing at me and calling me every name in the book. This is the drinker I know. The nondrinker would have been kind and caring. He took off work at noon and I thought he might come over to t...	Friendofyours	13	723	Jun 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Got a question... (Preview) SOmeone please explain to me why AlAnon says, "What other people think of me is none of my business." Truly I do not care much what other people think, and "think" is the operative word here. I would not call myself a people-pleaser to excess, but all of us know one or two people w...	Diva	15	568	Jun 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Off the topic of As for a minute. (Preview) This morning, at 4:00, my older son left after a four-day visit. Now this son is grown, he is educated and bright, doing well for himself, never a single problem with the law, gentle, kind, sober, never had a problem with abuse of any kind, and a real pain in the ass!!! He is an artist in the true sense of the...	Diva	11	660	Jun 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Pity? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I feel like I've been shot with a canon and I have a huge hole in me. I look at it but it's not painful...there is just a huge chunk missing, it doesn't feel right. My A is all over the place. He says things that make no sense, he seems nervous and on edge. I hate this. I keep stepping back...	Lunamoth	10	676	Jun 14, 2007 by Jennifer
	I Don't Know (Preview) Well, I just read Kim's post about the goats and it was really inspiring. To keep going, to acknowledge the pain and move despite it and find the joy. I have twice now done things involving my ex and his agf that I will regret. Nothing major just my own confrontational mouth. I come off looking like the cr...	serendipity	6	448	Jun 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Happy Birthday Java (Preview) Happy Birthday Java - Enjoy some calorie free cake!! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Rita	Rita G	8	537	Jun 14, 2007 by java
	Letter from the A (Preview) Got another letter from the A in jail today. He said he has 8-10 months for the dui and probation violation together. In NC that means he'll be out next week LOL. Really I expect he'll be out in 2-3 months with nowhere to go, not a dime, not even clothes on his back just the hospital clothes he went in with...	carolinagirl	3	399	Jun 13, 2007 by debilyn
	Sealy Sealy Sealy (Preview) Sealy Sealy Sealy Haven't seen ya online in forever. Worried about ya. Hope all is well. Miss you much. Your friend, Eve	Eve Eve Eve	0	380	Jun 13, 2007 by Eve Eve Eve
	Right Where I'm Supposed to Be? (Preview) I feel better. I still miss my ex. The pain, anger, grief is fading. The crazy thoughts are fewer and farther between. Still, I miss him. Now I'm going back in my mind to the last night I saw him when he showed up to my house. The day he left me messages to call him, that he needed me, etc. I didn't respond to an...	serendipity	4	612	Jun 13, 2007 by lam0204
	Advice on Bounderies (Preview) My sister is alcoholic/drug addict currently in rehab (checked herself in by choice). My husband is an alcohoic, possible drug addict - I'm not ready to seperate yet, but it's definitely something I'm considering in the coming months if he hasn't taken any steps to change. So, I'd like to know what s...	Gurl25	12	615	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	Have you been able to take the focus off the alcoholic, and place it on yourself? (Preview) Sometimes the drama of living with an alcoholic we lose ourselves along the way, and get enmeshed in all their crap. I found myself obsessing about my AH, where he was , what he was doing, what time would he be home, and waiting alone at home for his arrival. I would watch the clock tick by hour after hour, a...	gardengal	3	432	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	Plan B Take two (Preview) (((((MIP Family)))))) I made an appointment to go a talk with an impartial person tomorrow. I love my friends but they are definitely biased. I have been sorting out bank accounts, am going to go and open a new one at a different bank tomorrow also. Am going to be taking on more hours at one of my jobs. On...	lilms	3	443	Jun 13, 2007 by Christy
	I will be getting fired this week (Preview) My boss gave me 2 weeks to schedule appointments for a salesperson in the office. I will not receive any type of commission. I told him that I did not feel this was fair and not my responsibility since sales people do their own cold calling. Right now I am being cornered by both the boss and the sales guy. My...	kissers	5	678	Jun 13, 2007 by Gurl25
	playing the victim (Preview) This morning the A was supposed to go over to a neighbors house. The neighbor has a place that is unrented. I am pretty sure that if the a offered him money (and keep in mind this is my money) that the neighbor would rent him a room on a short term basis. He was supposed to go yesterday but I forget what the excu...	maresie2	3	505	Jun 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Plan B = Done (Preview) ((((((Friends))))))) I truly believe I am at the point of being done. I love my partner but have not for a very long time enjoyed this relationship. I am going to continue along with plan B (amassing funds etc). I cannot believe how extremely calm I am about this, not sad, not broken hearted, none of tha...	lilms	3	439	Jun 13, 2007 by maresie2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.