Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...

QOD · QOD

So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...

bill f · bill f

I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...

Miranda · Miranda

I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...

maresie2 · maresie2

The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...

QOD · QOD

It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...

twinkie · twinkie

Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....

annmarie · annmarie

My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...

gardengal · gardengal

When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...

Katy · Katy

Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....

Kim65 · Kim65

I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...

Rita G · Rita G

MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms

serendipity · serendipity

I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...

gknee · gknee

I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...

serendipity · serendipity

sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.

jaja · jaja

And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....

twinkie · twinkie

I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...

jaja · jaja

You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...

still searching · still searching

things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...

ReUnited · ReUnited

Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...

maresie2 · maresie2

Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...

maresie2 · maresie2

You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...

kissers · kissers

My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......

Hopelesswife · Hopelesswife

Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Sometimes, those who wander are lost!

Gurl25 · Gurl25

If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...

annmarie · annmarie

I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...

maresie2 · maresie2

The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...

Kim65 · Kim65

In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	"Spread your wings..." (Preview) We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...	Tiger2006	2	455	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Howdy hello (Preview) Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...	Tenderheartsks	4	585	Jun 26, 2007 by Jerry F
	Our 1st Mtg (Open AA) (Preview) It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...	Gurl25	5	463	Jun 26, 2007 by abbyal
	Am I supposed to be my AH's babysitter?? (Preview) So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...	QOD	10	690	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Needy (Preview) I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...	bill f	5	656	Jun 26, 2007 by bill f
	I totally lost it today... (Preview) I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...	Miranda	7	769	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	watching the chaos from another perspective. (Preview) The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...	maresie2	2	440	Jun 26, 2007 by twinkie
	AH pulled a disappearing act again. (Preview) It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...	QOD	10	560	Jun 26, 2007 by QOD
	Watching him fall....ESH please (Preview) Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...	twinkie	7	615	Jun 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Gonna take a chance (Preview) I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...	Tiger2006	6	573	Jun 26, 2007 by twinmom2
	First Mtg 2nite (Preview) AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....	Gurl25	2	337	Jun 26, 2007 by Rita G
	family again (Preview) My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...	annmarie	5	529	Jun 26, 2007 by annmarie
	What is ESH? (Preview) Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...	mosaicmax	2	3695	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	We Miss You (A poem, sort of) (Preview) We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...	Gurl25	2	318	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	Have you ever considered making a list of what you are grateful for????? (Preview) When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...	gardengal	6	311	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	NEED SOME STRENGTH FROM YOU GUYS...PLEASE.... (Preview) (((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...	ally	15	754	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Sorry, just got to ask? (Preview) Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...	Katy	10	513	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	one more question regarding my last post (Preview) My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....	serendipity	13	633	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Facing the music (sigh) (Preview) I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...	Kim65	10	572	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Question about forks (Preview) Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...	Jennifer	11	564	Jun 25, 2007 by ShelBell
	Elizabethtown, KY (Preview) MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...	Rita G	1	1904	Jun 25, 2007 by carolena
	I Don't know about the forks but I know where the socks go (Preview) (((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms	lilms	6	394	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	Just to let you know (Preview) I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...	serendipity	4	577	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	face to face observation (Preview) I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...	gknee	4	588	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A controling my life (Preview) Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...	Denoraphy	2	386	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	His Excuse (Preview) So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...	Gurl25	5	394	Jun 25, 2007 by Gurl25
	He stole my mother's credit cards (Preview) sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.	serendipity	5	633	Jun 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Hugs matter (Preview) And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...	jaja	1	430	Jun 25, 2007 by Lunamoth
	On Sex w/ AH (Preview) As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...	Gurl25	8	1158	Jun 25, 2007 by QOD
	Sometimes I can't shut up (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....	Lunamoth	7	549	Jun 25, 2007 by gknee
	In Need of Some ESH! (Preview) I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...	twinkie	9	515	Jun 25, 2007 by twinkie
	I went (Preview) I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...	carolinagirl	4	547	Jun 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Just needing a hug tonight (Preview) You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...	jaja	7	469	Jun 25, 2007 by carla036
	A is getting sued (Preview) Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...	RainyJamie	6	638	Jun 25, 2007 by Diva
	-but I can't control what he does...I mean I don't want to!!! (Preview) About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...	RainyJamie	5	545	Jun 25, 2007 by babysteps
	enough is enough (Preview) things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...	still searching	7	659	Jun 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Getting off the Merry Go Round/NO MORE DRAMA (Preview) If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...	hippietrippiechick	7	661	Jun 24, 2007 by Sunny2007
	New here (Preview) Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...	ReUnited	7	633	Jun 24, 2007 by ReUnited
	I posted this on the AA board yesterday-(long) (Preview) A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...	mom to 2	3	549	Jun 24, 2007 by mom to 2
	FOCUSING ON F2F AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...	ally	10	656	Jun 24, 2007 by carosie
	Are the things they say meaningless? (Preview) When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...	Friendofyours	5	650	Jun 24, 2007 by Becky1
	Cautiously Optimistic (Preview) My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...	Loupiness	1	473	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	things changing-- for the better (Preview) Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...	gknee	7	532	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	on the same wavelength (Preview) Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...	gknee	3	511	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Gradn gestures (Preview) Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...	maresie2	1	344	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	going into the weekend with my head on straight (Preview) The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...	maresie2	2	353	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Not being in reactivity (Preview) You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...	maresie2	5	690	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Feeling Good (Preview) My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...	kissers	2	326	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Just when you thought... (Preview) Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......	Tiger2006	3	398	Jun 22, 2007 by twinmom2
	new and hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...	Hopelesswife	11	707	Jun 22, 2007 by carla036
	Sometimes... (Preview) Sometimes, those who wander are lost!	Tiger2006	0	276	Jun 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
	I'm trying to help you!!! Vent @ AH (Preview) If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...	Gurl25	7	663	Jun 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	Need help detaching (Preview) I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...	mosaicmax	8	542	Jun 21, 2007 by mosaicmax
	family disfunction (Preview) I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...	annmarie	6	605	Jun 21, 2007 by drucilla06
	A Year Ago Today (Preview) Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...	Barbs45	6	541	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Wavering on the visitation of the A (Preview) I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...	carolinagirl	8	549	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	the good nes is (Preview) The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...	maresie2	7	410	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Went to the local AA meeting last night (Preview) In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...	Kim65	10	745	Jun 21, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this Magical Thinking? (Preview) I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...	carolinagirl	7	686	Jun 21, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	What REALLY happens in bars (Preview)	Tiger2006	3	453	Jun 21, 2007 by kiddo
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