Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...

still searching · still searching

things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...

ReUnited · ReUnited

Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...

maresie2 · maresie2

Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...

maresie2 · maresie2

You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...

kissers · kissers

My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......

Hopelesswife · Hopelesswife

Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Sometimes, those who wander are lost!

Gurl25 · Gurl25

If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...

annmarie · annmarie

I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...

maresie2 · maresie2

The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...

Kim65 · Kim65

In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

kissers · kissers

I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.

hersh · hersh

Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...

Katy · Katy

Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...

cc · cc

Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc

serendipity · serendipity

I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...

kiddo · kiddo

The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....

kissers · kissers

My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...

Rita G · Rita G

Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....

maire rua · maire rua

Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...

debilyn · debilyn

I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn

eileen123 · eileen123

We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...

8strong · 8strong

Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...

jaja · jaja

...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...

kiddo · kiddo

Hey, normally I wouldn't start a new topic about being the new kid, but I see a couple other topics like this so I guess you guys won't mind... I don't really know how to start off my foruming here. My name's Sarah, I'm 21 years old. My boyfriend is in rehab for alcoholism. I'm here because I need people to ta...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

"THE WEEKEND" ... those are two words I really don't look forward to anymore. Those are two words that have become synonymous with "alone", "fearful", "sad", "worried", "depressed", but most of all "ANXIETY". Duri...

Kim65 · Kim65

Is "felonious" a word? Anyway, for those who missed my most recent post, my A has finally, thank HP, been "stopped" by the law, and is at the county jail on a $25,000 bond for felony narcotic posession in three counties and two states. I obtained an ex parte yesterday, and go back t...

ally · ally

Guys In reading the BIG book, I came across this sentance. "We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for).....Page 559. This Is confusing me... As you know I have a Recovering A in my life.. Who's working the programm...

pabell · pabell

This is a hard one for me to put out... Stories can be so conveluded and so screwed up. I'll try and do the abbreviated one. So as Iv'e said before, my husband has refraimed from alcohol use for 5 months now. Thats an absolute miriacle in itself. And I must say life is better then it has been in years.......

gardengal · gardengal

For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...

maresie2 · maresie2

I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...

carla036 · carla036

Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...

serendipity · serendipity

I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.

Tammy · Tammy

Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A is getting sued (Preview) Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...	RainyJamie	6	597	Jun 25, 2007 by Diva
	-but I can't control what he does...I mean I don't want to!!! (Preview) About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...	RainyJamie	5	508	Jun 25, 2007 by babysteps
	enough is enough (Preview) things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...	still searching	7	631	Jun 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Getting off the Merry Go Round/NO MORE DRAMA (Preview) If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...	hippietrippiechick	7	622	Jun 24, 2007 by Sunny2007
	New here (Preview) Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...	ReUnited	7	600	Jun 24, 2007 by ReUnited
	I posted this on the AA board yesterday-(long) (Preview) A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...	mom to 2	3	522	Jun 24, 2007 by mom to 2
	FOCUSING ON F2F AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...	ally	10	620	Jun 24, 2007 by carosie
	Are the things they say meaningless? (Preview) When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...	Friendofyours	5	620	Jun 24, 2007 by Becky1
	Cautiously Optimistic (Preview) My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...	Loupiness	1	448	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	things changing-- for the better (Preview) Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...	gknee	7	507	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	on the same wavelength (Preview) Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...	gknee	3	474	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Gradn gestures (Preview) Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...	maresie2	1	321	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	going into the weekend with my head on straight (Preview) The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...	maresie2	2	320	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Not being in reactivity (Preview) You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...	maresie2	5	658	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Feeling Good (Preview) My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...	kissers	2	298	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Just when you thought... (Preview) Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......	Tiger2006	3	368	Jun 22, 2007 by twinmom2
	new and hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...	Hopelesswife	11	683	Jun 22, 2007 by carla036
	Sometimes... (Preview) Sometimes, those who wander are lost!	Tiger2006	0	252	Jun 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
	I'm trying to help you!!! Vent @ AH (Preview) If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...	Gurl25	7	639	Jun 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	Need help detaching (Preview) I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...	mosaicmax	8	519	Jun 21, 2007 by mosaicmax
	family disfunction (Preview) I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...	annmarie	6	572	Jun 21, 2007 by drucilla06
	A Year Ago Today (Preview) Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...	Barbs45	6	512	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Wavering on the visitation of the A (Preview) I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...	carolinagirl	8	511	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	the good nes is (Preview) The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...	maresie2	7	377	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Went to the local AA meeting last night (Preview) In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...	Kim65	10	712	Jun 21, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this Magical Thinking? (Preview) I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...	carolinagirl	7	647	Jun 21, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	What REALLY happens in bars (Preview)	Tiger2006	3	403	Jun 21, 2007 by kiddo
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.	kissers	5	425	Jun 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Recovery, jail, AA, etc... (Preview) Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...	hersh	10	531	Jun 21, 2007 by bill f
	Sobriety? (Preview) Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...	Katy	6	562	Jun 21, 2007 by Katy
	chat room (Preview) Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc	cc	1	399	Jun 20, 2007 by John
	My mother (Preview) I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...	serendipity	5	499	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	Feeling Selfish (Preview) The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....	kiddo	6	518	Jun 20, 2007 by kiddo
	Lost and confused (Preview) My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...	kissers	7	559	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	How can you know how I feel? (Preview) Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...	Rita G	10	585	Jun 20, 2007 by carolena
	why is it sometimes so easy to walk away (Preview) One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....	maresie2	4	592	Jun 20, 2007 by nmike
	Giving up controlling ways (Preview) Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...	maire rua	1	345	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	QOD???? (Preview) I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn	debilyn	3	381	Jun 20, 2007 by QOD
	Where can I start. (Preview) We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...	eileen123	7	747	Jun 20, 2007 by eileen123
	Not handling the labels well (Preview) New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...	mosaicmax	14	755	Jun 20, 2007 by mosaicmax
	New here, just my second post (Preview) Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...	8strong	3	590	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	Amends, apologies, and forgiveness (Preview) Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...	Tiger2006	1	679	Jun 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Just what is "wet brain"? (Preview) ...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...	jaja	4	8048	Jun 20, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Hey guys, I'm new. (Preview) Hey, normally I wouldn't start a new topic about being the new kid, but I see a couple other topics like this so I guess you guys won't mind... I don't really know how to start off my foruming here. My name's Sarah, I'm 21 years old. My boyfriend is in rehab for alcoholism. I'm here because I need people to ta...	kiddo	11	582	Jun 20, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	The weekend... (Preview) "THE WEEKEND" ... those are two words I really don't look forward to anymore. Those are two words that have become synonymous with "alone", "fearful", "sad", "worried", "depressed", but most of all "ANXIETY". Duri...	Gurl25	3	461	Jun 20, 2007 by Gurl25
	Update on me and my felonious A (Preview) Is "felonious" a word? Anyway, for those who missed my most recent post, my A has finally, thank HP, been "stopped" by the law, and is at the county jail on a $25,000 bond for felony narcotic posession in three counties and two states. I obtained an ex parte yesterday, and go back t...	Kim65	3	473	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	WANT OR NEED (Preview) Guys In reading the BIG book, I came across this sentance. "We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for).....Page 559. This Is confusing me... As you know I have a Recovering A in my life.. Who's working the programm...	ally	3	532	Jun 20, 2007 by Barbs45
	An outcast in my own home...weird (Preview) This is a hard one for me to put out... Stories can be so conveluded and so screwed up. I'll try and do the abbreviated one. So as Iv'e said before, my husband has refraimed from alcohol use for 5 months now. Thats an absolute miriacle in itself. And I must say life is better then it has been in years.......	pabell	5	648	Jun 20, 2007 by Baffled
	Do you blame others for your unhappiness? (Preview) For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...	gardengal	6	1124	Jun 20, 2007 by Baffled
	Finances and re-finances (Preview) I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...	Tiger2006	0	309	Jun 19, 2007 by Tiger2006
	update (Preview) I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...	maresie2	2	401	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	He's horrible even on Father's Day (Preview) I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....	Friendofyours	15	594	Jun 19, 2007 by Gurl25
	Being Used (Preview) I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...	carolinagirl	11	757	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	Reconnecting and taking care of me ;) (Preview) Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...	carla036	2	550	Jun 19, 2007 by belle1
	The power of Al-Anon (Preview) I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...	Gurl25	4	431	Jun 19, 2007 by twinmom2
	ESH needed (Preview) It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...	Mobirdie	3	477	Jun 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Dealing with Debt Collector's (Preview) Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...	twinmom2	6	627	Jun 19, 2007 by carla036
	Got my stinky mutts back! (Preview) I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...	serendipity	3	413	Jun 19, 2007 by annmarie
	Anyone have trouble posting? (Preview) Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.	Gurl25	2	408	Jun 18, 2007 by pabell
	Maybe I am the one that is CRAZY ???? (Preview) Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...	Tammy	9	486	Jun 18, 2007 by Tammy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.