Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

java · java

One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...

Katy · Katy

As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...

Kim65 · Kim65

As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!

twinkie · twinkie

So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...

lilms · lilms

((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...

maresie2 · maresie2

I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place. I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...

serendipity · serendipity

I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...

QOD · QOD

So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...

bill f · bill f

I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...

Miranda · Miranda

I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...

maresie2 · maresie2

The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...

QOD · QOD

It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...

twinkie · twinkie

Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....

annmarie · annmarie

My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...

gardengal · gardengal

When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...

Katy · Katy

Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....

Kim65 · Kim65

I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...

Rita G · Rita G

MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms

serendipity · serendipity

I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...

gknee · gknee

I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...

serendipity · serendipity

sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.

jaja · jaja

And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....

twinkie · twinkie

I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...

jaja · jaja

You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...

still searching · still searching

things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...

ReUnited · ReUnited

Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	captured thoughts of a person caught in the cyle of domestic abuse (Preview) One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...	java	1	461	Jun 28, 2007 by Gurl25
	Fear is not always a bad thing... (Preview) WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...	Tiger2006	1	328	Jun 28, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this what it means to be healthy? (Preview) Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...	Alanoner	1	755	Jun 28, 2007 by Karilynn
	Thought's for today (Preview) As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...	Katy	1	506	Jun 28, 2007 by Jerry F
	Children Learn What They Live.. (Preview) ...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...	Loupiness	5	1231	Jun 28, 2007 by Loupiness
	Doing better tonight...getting there...slowly... (Preview) I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...	Tiger2006	3	483	Jun 27, 2007 by CJ
	Could really use some MIP AFG love & support (Preview) Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...	Tiger2006	15	1470	Jun 27, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	I love the lightening... (Preview) ((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...	rtexas	11	627	Jun 27, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Live to regret (Preview) As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...	Kim65	11	765	Jun 27, 2007 by Kim65
	One of those I need 2 keep my mouth SHUT moments (Preview) I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...	Gurl25	4	608	Jun 27, 2007 by nmike
	PLEASE HELP! I MESSED UP BAD! (Preview) OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...	hippietrippiechick	5	646	Jun 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Friggin GREAT News!!!!! (Preview) I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...	Gurl25	17	643	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	Is there an acronym sticky somewhere? (Preview) I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!	Gurl25	6	576	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	Trying to Control the Enabler! (Preview) So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...	twinkie	4	753	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	and now I know where the dishes and the spoons are (Preview) ((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...	lilms	5	435	Jun 27, 2007 by kismetstrand
	Hell Week!! (Preview) Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...	carolinagirl	5	599	Jun 27, 2007 by maresie2
	feeling superior (Preview) I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place. I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...	maresie2	5	625	Jun 27, 2007 by carolinagirl
	HP working through us? Maybe (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...	twinmom2	3	619	Jun 27, 2007 by Jerry F
	Working hard (Preview) I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...	serendipity	6	506	Jun 26, 2007 by Maria123
	Breaking relationships (Preview) This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...	Tiger2006	1	499	Jun 26, 2007 by mandalynn38
	coming up for air (Preview) Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...	itsgot2bgd	7	654	Jun 26, 2007 by maresie2
	And now, on a lighter note... (Preview) Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...	Tiger2006	1	463	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	"Spread your wings..." (Preview) We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...	Tiger2006	2	533	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Howdy hello (Preview) Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...	Tenderheartsks	4	638	Jun 26, 2007 by Jerry F
	Our 1st Mtg (Open AA) (Preview) It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...	Gurl25	5	516	Jun 26, 2007 by abbyal
	Am I supposed to be my AH's babysitter?? (Preview) So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...	QOD	10	744	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Needy (Preview) I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...	bill f	5	718	Jun 26, 2007 by bill f
	I totally lost it today... (Preview) I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...	Miranda	7	824	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	watching the chaos from another perspective. (Preview) The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...	maresie2	2	493	Jun 26, 2007 by twinkie
	AH pulled a disappearing act again. (Preview) It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...	QOD	10	610	Jun 26, 2007 by QOD
	Watching him fall....ESH please (Preview) Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...	twinkie	7	676	Jun 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Gonna take a chance (Preview) I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...	Tiger2006	6	627	Jun 26, 2007 by twinmom2
	First Mtg 2nite (Preview) AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....	Gurl25	2	395	Jun 26, 2007 by Rita G
	family again (Preview) My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...	annmarie	5	584	Jun 26, 2007 by annmarie
	What is ESH? (Preview) Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...	mosaicmax	2	3981	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	We Miss You (A poem, sort of) (Preview) We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...	Gurl25	2	376	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	Have you ever considered making a list of what you are grateful for????? (Preview) When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...	gardengal	6	368	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	NEED SOME STRENGTH FROM YOU GUYS...PLEASE.... (Preview) (((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...	ally	15	808	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Sorry, just got to ask? (Preview) Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...	Katy	10	565	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	one more question regarding my last post (Preview) My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....	serendipity	13	689	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Facing the music (sigh) (Preview) I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...	Kim65	10	635	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Question about forks (Preview) Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...	Jennifer	11	615	Jun 25, 2007 by ShelBell
	Elizabethtown, KY (Preview) MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...	Rita G	1	1988	Jun 25, 2007 by carolena
	I Don't know about the forks but I know where the socks go (Preview) (((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms	lilms	6	448	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	Just to let you know (Preview) I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...	serendipity	4	634	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	face to face observation (Preview) I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...	gknee	4	644	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A controling my life (Preview) Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...	Denoraphy	2	441	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	His Excuse (Preview) So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...	Gurl25	5	442	Jun 25, 2007 by Gurl25
	He stole my mother's credit cards (Preview) sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.	serendipity	5	689	Jun 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Hugs matter (Preview) And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...	jaja	1	484	Jun 25, 2007 by Lunamoth
	On Sex w/ AH (Preview) As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...	Gurl25	8	1223	Jun 25, 2007 by QOD
	Sometimes I can't shut up (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....	Lunamoth	7	602	Jun 25, 2007 by gknee
	In Need of Some ESH! (Preview) I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...	twinkie	9	573	Jun 25, 2007 by twinkie
	I went (Preview) I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...	carolinagirl	4	603	Jun 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Just needing a hug tonight (Preview) You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...	jaja	7	524	Jun 25, 2007 by carla036
	A is getting sued (Preview) Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...	RainyJamie	6	708	Jun 25, 2007 by Diva
	-but I can't control what he does...I mean I don't want to!!! (Preview) About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...	RainyJamie	5	598	Jun 25, 2007 by babysteps
	enough is enough (Preview) things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...	still searching	7	715	Jun 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Getting off the Merry Go Round/NO MORE DRAMA (Preview) If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...	hippietrippiechick	7	716	Jun 24, 2007 by Sunny2007
	New here (Preview) Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...	ReUnited	7	688	Jun 24, 2007 by ReUnited
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