The material presented
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I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better.
Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not drank or done drugs since that date. He has a real good attitude about where he is, and seems to be growing spiritually, reading spiritual books, and I see the change in him. I myself have been sober three years - and found my pathway to spirituality through AA... I always wanted him to grasp the program. He has attended a few meetings but has yet to really "want" the program. I have accepted that may not be his path. We had a horrible experience last week at an AA meeting. Sober AH stood up and announced he had 7 months' sobriety. The chairperson was pretty rude, did not even turn around to acknowledge him, and said "keep coming back, the next months' chip is 9 mos". Well AH was humiliated and sat down, was really upset. The more I thought about it I thought it was so wrong. I was taught in AA that no matter what, if someone has a desire to quit drinking, they are part of the group. You are to treat everyone in that room with respect and decency and unconditional love. They are one of us. I just felt so bad for him. I know some groups have "tough love" but that was just crappy. Anyway, just felt bad because it is matter of life and death, finding recovery for alcohol abuse. That gesture could turn someone away from AA forever. Luckily AH is forgiving and is wanting to attend another meeting and give it another try.
Anyway, things are different in the sober world. I am so grateful for his sobriety, and MY growth over the last year. Last year at this time I was truly in a breakdown, so worried about him and if he would live or die. I didn't even care whether we were together or not at that point, it was getting really really bad. He was really on a crash course.
What I learned was, my happiness does not depend upon him or what he chooses to do. My happiness is so dependent upon my choices and my peace of mind. Thank you, all of you, for helping me to achieve that. I can now get out of my own head and listen to someone else - really be there and be compassionate and caring, my problems are not anything compared to most people's.
The most important thing in this program that I learned was that life is about love. We can give love to many people in this world that need it, there are so many lonely and suffering people. My relationship with my husband is not the most important relationship in my life. He is my best friend, and my companion, however, I can fill my life with many things to do for ME and for others. I have much joy and love to give this world. I choose to spread my love and happiness around!!! Thanks for the growth, HP and Alanon Family!!!
Glad to see you home again and grateful for your ESH. Yeah we have to use acceptance and unconditional love (same thing) even with the old timers sometimes more. We are never cured it's just spiritual progress not perfection. Seven months isn't enough and sometimes years are not either. LOL. Glad for your AH and hope his journey is as awesomely interesting and blessed as mine and yours has been. You didn't say how your AH handled the downer at the meeting other than getting down. Was there growth from it?
Those are the miracles I watch intently for because they are the ones that got me this far.
((((((hugs)))))(((((hugs))))) to you both and keep on keepin on!
Boy did I need to see that post. This part is for you hubby: WOOHOO! WOOHOO! If I had been in that meeting I would have stood up and applauded him. So next time you see him, tell him some crazy lady (not Christy! ) says congrats. Seven months is awsome!
As for you young lady: WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WAT TO GO! I have seen you grow stronger. You've had a hard road, and you've managed to come out the other end. I am so proud of you. Thanks for that awsome post and being you. Keep up the great work.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn, Hubby and Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I have to remember that just because someone is in AA does not make them healthy. In fact, we are in the program because we have a disease. My ex seems to find the most incredibly unhealthy people in the program. He found a sponser who had years (20+) and this man told him it was perfectly ok for him to leave the kids, not call or see them, they had me to take care of them. And it was reasonable for my ex (who I was married to at the time) to be haing an affair with a married couple. Oh there were a few others who also had years of program under their belt and really are very, very sick people. These were people i came to trust myself and was very surprised and disappointed in their support. 7 Months is wonderful, 3 years is incredible. Congradulations to you both.
Yep, I have probs with posting and internet here too.
Good to get an update from you.....and awesome to read your post.
Reminds me not to have expectations when I read about hubbys disappointment. I cant think of the times I have watched someone do something awesome and not get any recognition for it..........cuts me to the core. 7 months is fantastic. (((((((hugs to hubby))))))) 3 years is awesome((((((((hugs to heidi)))))))) I guess the really important thing is that you both KNOW how awesome those achievements really are,how others respond isn't so important,just would have been nice to be acknowledged eh?
Congratulations to you both Heidi. I am so proud of you. Your husband should have been given the recognition he deserves of course. But he knows you are proud and that I'm sure that is priceless.
I have been in recovery for a little while now and have come to realize that my experience of what is going on is just that - my experience. I share the rooms with people who have the same problem I do and most of what I see is a reflection of me.
Sobriety does not ensure a return to sanity - and what a great example of selfishness and and self centeredness! Please remember that we can only return to sanity by working the steps and accepting the spiritual program as it comes.
Glad to hear that you and your husband are making progress, and please remember that no one can get you drunk or keep you sober - that is between you and your HP.
If I had been in that meeting I would have stood up and applauded him. So next time you see him, tell him some crazy lady (not Christy! 
) says congrats. Seven months is awsome!
I have seen you grow stronger. You've had a hard road, and you've managed to come out the other end. I am so proud of you. Thanks for that awsome post and being you. Keep up the great work.
