Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had some concerns about my kids since I moved out but it seems that our communication has gotten much better over the past year. I have noticed a lack of respect for eachother and me, ungreatful and just generally bad attitude, lack of compassion for others, etc. I saw this book yesterday that I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Be grateful for where you are now. "It doesn't take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason - even if I don't know what that reason is and even if I don't particularly like who or where I am today, &q...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I haven't posted here for a while and I've been away for a couple of weeks so I haven't been to my weekly alanon meetings (two/week)... and I'm feeling it. I haven't had my alanon support ~ and I am feeling quite alone. Sure, I could call (or SHOULD call) my sponsor or someone on my list but I don't. It a...

maresie2 · maresie2

This afternoon the A goes to court. He is likely to go to jail. He has failed to appear a number of times and has a lot of charges in front of him. As he has no income he can't offer to pay any fine. Yesterday I spoke to him and he gave me the same old sing song about how I had let him down by this and that. I found so...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Haven't seen you around in a bit, just wondering how you're doing?

John · John

Life has been really rough this past week for me. As you most likely know by now, my dearest sister, Dee, was murdered by her husband of 26 years last Tuesday. I have spent the last week in Roanoke Va, struggling to get her life insurance to cover burial expenses, as her husband is listed as her benefic...

lmt123 · lmt123

I think my HP is testing my patience today! I had an appointment today to take my computer in to the repair place to have them help me with some things regarding the fax program that I have and a few other things that I just couldn't figure out. The computer tech and his wife are new friends of ours, so the...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))))), In rememberance of those who gave their lives on 9/11 and to those who continue to fight all over the world so that evil doesn't win, as well as to their family and friends: I will light a candle, say a prayer, make sure my flag is flying and practice a random act of kindness or two i...

ddub · ddub

So the MIP board is a very big help for me I am a night owl but my eyes tire before the rest of me tires. (-: After reading posts I am almost crosseyed - lol uh, can you tell I might be 39 ... or 49 again? so I have, I hope, a reasonable request After three to five sentences, could some of you leave a couple line spa...

bobump · bobump

I'm really excited to see the post about lyrics. They have had a very profound impact on me this week. I'm making a trip to see a dear close friend from HS. Not really sure if I should be making this trip. Especially after some roadblocks put in the way. I seriously questioned my will vs thy will, as di...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I haven't posted in a while, I have been sucked back in and though I knew better I still let it happen and now I don't know which way to go. My axbf lives only six streets from me. His eight year old son is holding me more than he is, He has turned into someone I don't know and don't know if I want to be around him. H...

florrie · florrie

just wanting to share, i've been caught in a pattern of comparing and self- criticsim since an old freind visited 2 weeks ago. in my mind i want to see her as the loving one, i've invested in this belief about her, as have other freinds. but when she visited she was talking about freinds as having low or hi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hello, I got your phone call. I have taken off Sunday the 21st[of Oct] to spend with you and John before you leave. I'm going to ask in the future that rather than saying things such as that you're looking forward to hearing about possible job interviews that you wait for me to discuss my employmen...

tea2 · tea2

Awhile ago a member started a post about lyrics and a few responses said that they felt The Eagles wrote a lot about recovery or as I see the lack thereof. These are a few of their songs (I had to chuckle!) Take It Easy Already GoneTequila SunriseWitchy WomanOutlaw ManPeaceful Easy FeelingWasted TimeI...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Sometimes I sit and wonder, how did I get like this? I feel so much better now but I feel like a whole different person. How did I turn into that other person? In some ways I am still that person with my kids but I remember being 19 and carefree. I remember other people's problems being their problems an...

maresie2 · maresie2

I've found a friend who may want to share animal care and other things with me. We are actively looking for a larger place in the area. We both can have time to look and have specific ideas about the place/size/amenities. I find this so refreshing to be out of the loop of obsessing about the A's latest self...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Interesting responses to my post on the police report, I never said I enjoyed his pain, I said I would enjoy having some truth for once. In any case, the report was vague and so light you couldn't even read the original. It did show that he was driving though which was my primary concern. Now somehow bet...

nycbt · nycbt

Thank you everyone one for all the nice things you said. My grandma wake was on Labor day and the burial was on the Tuesday. With the burial from the church to the burial place the sherffi block entrance ramp and closed highways so no one would interfer that was the cool part. It was nice to be around all my f...

FrannieC · FrannieC

Hi everyone. I am new to this and I figured someone here could help me. I've gone o a few Al-anon meetings but wasn't real crazy about it. But my husband has recently joined AA( 2 months ago) He has relapsed once. He blames me b/c of a fight we had. I am excited that for the first time I have hope for him. This pr...

MISC · MISC

Anyone have a schizoid (not schizophrenic) personality disorder A ? If so, how do you feel it affects the drinking ?

twinkie · twinkie

In my earlier post I wrote about how I am trying to decide if a recent job offer is a good move for me. A second one came in, this one is out of state and back where I used to live. The company is an ideal size for me - 200 people - and the community is much smaller, just what I like! The downside is I would have to...

maresie2 · maresie2

I spoke to the A today one day before he has to go to court. He lives, eats sleeps fantasy. He has a broken pair of glasses and is walking around looking really wierd as the glasses are broken and it amkes him look crazy. He refuses to go cash in on medi-cal which he is eligible for because he is "moving&...

maire rua · maire rua

this morning I said no to various requests three times, this is real breakthough for me, also I am going to ask ex-A to move on now, as I feel I am ready. He's off the booze but dying for his term of treatment to be up so he can go back to the same ol same ol. Its very boring listening to him, but am going to cork for...

twinkie · twinkie

Hi All - into over a year of my recovery and have finally found serenity for me. I am out of the fog I was in called insanity - yeah! Part of my past behaviors was to always be on the go, once I'd hit a point of discontent, I was on to another boyfriend, another job or another state. This year has helped me see...

maresie2 · maresie2

After all the A has put me through with vehicles, speeding tickets, trashing the truck and more he stil has a sense of entitlement. He'a asked me numerous times to fund a rental car for him (he is living in a rural area with no/limited public transit). I jsut tell him my credit is ruined and I have no money....

maresie2 · maresie2

This will be a weekend I will be spending without the a and I am looking forward to quiet time and a time to regroup before I have to move onto to another phase of my life. I am deeply deeply in debt and must repair my credit somehow if I am going to rent again in the next few years. I will have to get another job an...

CJ098 · CJ098

Okay, so I'm reading my books and trying to not be codependent and trying to detach, but it's really hard. The last 3 weeks have been hell. I have a lot a patience but it's wearing thin. Trying to detach when on our days off he goes to the liquor store 3 times a day to get drunk, as I will not have any alcohol...

tea2 · tea2

Hi Fellow Al-Anons , As you may have already read we are gathering Frequently Asked Questions (aka) FAQs for the MIP Al-Anon Group Members and future members who will find their way here. These questions will pertain to both this message board and the chat room. If you have a question or know of a questi...

paul123 · paul123

So, my wife of 12 years tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. She has been sober for 5 years, goes to AA meetings. Well she says that I am no fun anymore and that I am a grump. It seems that ever since she stopped drinking the fun in our marriage has gone away and my role has changed. I defin...

ddub · ddub

I wanna fight. baby steps get me to a new vantage point and you face more truths that are real and again don't meet my fantasy. Can't go back to denial now after what I've learned so far. And just feel like I am kicking and screaming as I don't want to keep going forward and facing any more honest truths...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it. -Maimonides so, Mom abruptly decided that she was going to come into Dayton this weekend. And of course my flags go up. I'm feeling like, "Lady, does noth...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

First of all, just wanted to thank you for all the kind responses from my last post. Ok so I've been going over and over it in my head and decided it's time to end this marriage. I really just can't do it anymore. I think I have put up with it for way too long. Things will never change with my AH and I don't want ti...

twinkie · twinkie

oops! Sorry -- Edited by twinkie at 14:52, 2007-09-09

lmt123 · lmt123

I tried to bite my tongue tonite (I didn't really do a good job at it...) My AHsober was watching sports on the tv in the bedroom, while I was watching tv in the living room. He decided to listen to a particular game on the radio in the sunroom, and left the bedroom tv and light on. During a commercial on m...

frazzled · frazzled

continuation of the other day i guess i am just able to sit down and get some more stuff that is on my mind. i talked about my daughter my a and my mom growing up. i didnt mention that even after my mom got us out of that other state and got us all back together in one household i can still remember the night it ha...

MISC · MISC

ANABUSE....I haven't seen any posts on the subject of this drug. I had a written script for it for A son, but never filled it as I didn't feel that I knew enough about it....side effects, etc. Comments, please.

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today, I will solve the problems of today. I might have become so focused on solving all the problems in my life that I haven't noticed the little problems that arise each day. Do I have anything that needs to be completed or resolved today? I will take a moment each day and work on what I need to do just for t...

Rita G · Rita G

As many of you know, my 6th grandchild will be 1 month old tomorrow. Jace is a beautiful healthy little man - born to our addict daughter. She struggled during this pregnancy and I prayed like all of you do, that she would do better this time. But the disease knows NO boundaries. Her boyfriend came ho...

Jill · Jill

One of the previous posts talked about maintaining our fabulousness. Its a great concept. Let me consider ways I can maintain mine.I think mine involve taking care of myself. I take time to pray and to walk.I brush my teeth every night, regardless of someone waiting for me in bed, and every morning,...

moms3 · moms3

I posted this poem I wrote to my A over a year ago. There are so many new members and I see alot of posts about detaching I wanted to post it again, to share with you all. Prayers and Hugs, Kim Each and every day, it gets easier, to go away.......

serendipity · serendipity

Yesterday, I did go to the ex's work. I did attempt to show his GF (fiancee I just found out, he bought her a beautiful diamond) the text messages he's been sending me for a couple months. He smashed my cell, and got very physically violent and threw me out the door. I went straight to the police station a...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Well about less than 2weeks ago i thought i had this detachment thing FINALLY figured out. After 13 years of dealing with AH, i thought "wow i'm finally taking care of myself. and to the extent I still am. But it's so hard. I was started to see a change in him as well. But of course that was too good to be...

ddub · ddub

Not feelin' real great so gonna just write what I feel good about and why not .... so I can try and find some light at the end of the tunnel - like a very bad roller coaster ride in a very long dark tunnel - couple sky lights now and then but false hope of more consistant progress bites. gratitude and way to go t...

MISC · MISC

O.K. here is my very first post as a newbie..........and my question is.........do you think it's ok for us (as the parents )of a 22 year old A son who is living with us to demand he attend AA meetings ? He's in denial, but has had problems for the past 6 plus years.............mips, jail, treatment pr...

Toni · Toni

I think it's been a couple weeks since I joined and I have been sort of quiet since. I think I'm just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of having my daughter living somewhere else without feeling guilty because I feel that way and without trying to project too much into the future. Her situation is not pe...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was going to quit smoking today (AGAIN!!!). I was sure I was going to do it. Half way to work I stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and I was soooo disappointed in myself. Then I thought this must be what they feel like times ten. Cigarettes may be killing me but at least they don't cost me EVERYTHI...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have not seen you post in a long long time. I hope all is ok with you. I wrote my creditors today and thought of you and your struggle. I am going to work on it one day at a time. Please post soon and let us all know how you are. maresie.

lmt123 · lmt123

I just got back from having the echocardiogram. The tech said he didn't see anything (could he tell me if he did?), but he had to send the results to the cardiologist and I'd hear from them on Monday. Hopefully he/she won't see anything and hopefully they can explain why the size of my heart has changed...

maresie2 · maresie2

I saw the A yesterday and decided to keep the beagle for another week. I managed to get it out of him that he is going to court on Monday. He looks absolutely terrible, worse than I have ever seen him. He is not making any sense about what he is going to do. I imagine he presumes he will go to jail although he do...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I finally got thru to the "special police" who arrested the A back in November the night before I was leaving on my trip to DC with the kids. Anywho, I am going tomorrow to get a copy of the police report to try to clear my name with the insurance company. I learned that this place is a private...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

it occurred to me this morning that I keep fighting a losing battle. I keep waiting for the day when everything and everybody is easily handled. The last 3 weeks have been crazy. Filled with loss. The first situation is one of change. I can still have this person in my life just not in the capacity I am used...

torias · torias

My spouse has been sober for three years now. I am so happy for him. The problem I am having is that I do not want to be married any longer. I am surprised by that because I fought so long for saving our marriage and put up with so much. Now, he has been sober but I do not have any feelings for him as a sp...

TheArtOf · TheArtOf

I have been reading some literature concerning the diagnosis of alcoholism. One book in particular identifies it as a physiological disease. My question is how do you know when someone is an alcoholic? One could say after the first DUI, or the second or the third... Or how about finding stashed bo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I went to switch insurance companies today and found out that back in Nov. when the A got the dui and the truck was impounded and damaged that the claim I called in was filed under MY driving record as an accident that was MY fault. Considering that I was not anywhere near the vehicle I am extremely fr...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, ex-A got out of hospital yesterday with Ulceritis Colitis, drink has nothing to do with that right! he went out last night and drank moderately. He is convinced that it is worse than cancer and was a real pain in the butt last night. I knew this would be the case so I detached very quickly. He kept gi...

Becky1 · Becky1

The surgery for my "trigger Thumb" went OK, only a 1" incision, and 2 stitches, but the scar tissue is pretty big and the stitches painful. I have exercises I have to do to keep my thumb limber, will be off work total of 14 days, today is 1 week since the surgery. AH has been pretty nice. I a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have been talking to one of my recovery partners at length about a topic that we both seem to have compulsive behaviors behind. I believe now that my long extended relationship with the A was a core symptom of hiding from life. I had to make his life more important than mine in order to hide from all my ne...

kissers · kissers

Hi Everyone, I was invited by another Alanon member to attend a lecture on Alcoholism. The topic of trust was discussed and how important trust is in a relationship. A guy I started dating told me twice he would call me the next day and didn't. I went from feeling angry to feeling betrayed to feeling very...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...

Rita G · Rita G

Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Parenting (Preview) I have had some concerns about my kids since I moved out but it seems that our communication has gotten much better over the past year. I have noticed a lack of respect for eachother and me, ungreatful and just generally bad attitude, lack of compassion for others, etc. I saw this book yesterday that I...	carolinagirl	6	480	Sep 12, 2007 by Jen
	"I am right where I need to be.." (Preview) Be grateful for where you are now. "It doesn't take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason - even if I don't know what that reason is and even if I don't particularly like who or where I am today, &q...	Tiger2006	2	872	Sep 12, 2007 by bobump
	Trying not to "isolate" (Preview) I haven't posted here for a while and I've been away for a couple of weeks so I haven't been to my weekly alanon meetings (two/week)... and I'm feeling it. I haven't had my alanon support ~ and I am feeling quite alone. Sure, I could call (or SHOULD call) my sponsor or someone on my list but I don't. It a...	Positivelydee	4	680	Sep 12, 2007 by twinkie
	Feeling immensely sad (Preview) This afternoon the A goes to court. He is likely to go to jail. He has failed to appear a number of times and has a lot of charges in front of him. As he has no income he can't offer to pay any fine. Yesterday I spoke to him and he gave me the same old sing song about how I had let him down by this and that. I found so...	maresie2	6	505	Sep 12, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Kim65? (Preview) Haven't seen you around in a bit, just wondering how you're doing?	carolinagirl	3	555	Sep 12, 2007 by Jen
	My Sister Was Murdered on August 28th, by her husband :( (Preview) Life has been really rough this past week for me. As you most likely know by now, my dearest sister, Dee, was murdered by her husband of 26 years last Tuesday. I have spent the last week in Roanoke Va, struggling to get her life insurance to cover burial expenses, as her husband is listed as her benefic...	John	25	1873	Sep 12, 2007 by Moon
	testing, testing, 123... (Preview) I think my HP is testing my patience today! I had an appointment today to take my computer in to the repair place to have them help me with some things regarding the fax program that I have and a few other things that I just couldn't figure out. The computer tech and his wife are new friends of ours, so the...	lmt123	3	425	Sep 11, 2007 by jonibaloni21
	In rememberance of 9/11 (Preview) (((((((Family))))))), In rememberance of those who gave their lives on 9/11 and to those who continue to fight all over the world so that evil doesn't win, as well as to their family and friends: I will light a candle, say a prayer, make sure my flag is flying and practice a random act of kindness or two i...	Karilynn	14	594	Sep 11, 2007 by Positivelydee
	general request (Preview) So the MIP board is a very big help for me I am a night owl but my eyes tire before the rest of me tires. (-: After reading posts I am almost crosseyed - lol uh, can you tell I might be 39 ... or 49 again? so I have, I hope, a reasonable request After three to five sentences, could some of you leave a couple line spa...	ddub	7	358	Sep 11, 2007 by frazzled
	Lyrics....more (Preview) I'm really excited to see the post about lyrics. They have had a very profound impact on me this week. I'm making a trip to see a dear close friend from HS. Not really sure if I should be making this trip. Especially after some roadblocks put in the way. I seriously questioned my will vs thy will, as di...	bobump	2	429	Sep 11, 2007 by david62
	I am soooo confused! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while, I have been sucked back in and though I knew better I still let it happen and now I don't know which way to go. My axbf lives only six streets from me. His eight year old son is holding me more than he is, He has turned into someone I don't know and don't know if I want to be around him. H...	sisdragonfly1957	7	540	Sep 11, 2007 by sisdragonfly1957
	shame spiral (Preview) just wanting to share, i've been caught in a pattern of comparing and self- criticsim since an old freind visited 2 weeks ago. in my mind i want to see her as the loving one, i've invested in this belief about her, as have other freinds. but when she visited she was talking about freinds as having low or hi...	florrie	6	509	Sep 11, 2007 by florrie
	I definately need y'all on this one... (Preview) Hello, I got your phone call. I have taken off Sunday the 21st[of Oct] to spend with you and John before you leave. I'm going to ask in the future that rather than saying things such as that you're looking forward to hearing about possible job interviews that you wait for me to discuss my employmen...	Tiger2006	9	628	Sep 11, 2007 by bobump
	Songs by The Eagles and how I see them today (Preview) Awhile ago a member started a post about lyrics and a few responses said that they felt The Eagles wrote a lot about recovery or as I see the lack thereof. These are a few of their songs (I had to chuckle!) Take It Easy Already GoneTequila SunriseWitchy WomanOutlaw ManPeaceful Easy FeelingWasted TimeI...	tea2	4	3253	Sep 11, 2007 by bobump
	How did I become this? (Preview) Sometimes I sit and wonder, how did I get like this? I feel so much better now but I feel like a whole different person. How did I turn into that other person? In some ways I am still that person with my kids but I remember being 19 and carefree. I remember other people's problems being their problems an...	carolinagirl	11	671	Sep 11, 2007 by Diva
	focus on me no matter what (Preview) I've found a friend who may want to share animal care and other things with me. We are actively looking for a larger place in the area. We both can have time to look and have specific ideas about the place/size/amenities. I find this so refreshing to be out of the loop of obsessing about the A's latest self...	maresie2	2	455	Sep 11, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Got the Police Report (Preview) Interesting responses to my post on the police report, I never said I enjoyed his pain, I said I would enjoy having some truth for once. In any case, the report was vague and so light you couldn't even read the original. It did show that he was driving though which was my primary concern. Now somehow bet...	carolinagirl	5	566	Sep 11, 2007 by maire rua
	grandma funeral (Preview) Thank you everyone one for all the nice things you said. My grandma wake was on Labor day and the burial was on the Tuesday. With the burial from the church to the burial place the sherffi block entrance ramp and closed highways so no one would interfer that was the cool part. It was nice to be around all my f...	nycbt	4	291	Sep 10, 2007 by Karilynn
	My AH has joined AA and is driving me crazy!!! (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this and I figured someone here could help me. I've gone o a few Al-anon meetings but wasn't real crazy about it. But my husband has recently joined AA( 2 months ago) He has relapsed once. He blames me b/c of a fight we had. I am excited that for the first time I have hope for him. This pr...	FrannieC	8	1636	Sep 10, 2007 by Karilynn
	SCHIZOID PERSONALITY (Preview) Anyone have a schizoid (not schizophrenic) personality disorder A ? If so, how do you feel it affects the drinking ?	MISC	1	454	Sep 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	And another decision - oh my (Preview) In my earlier post I wrote about how I am trying to decide if a recent job offer is a good move for me. A second one came in, this one is out of state and back where I used to live. The company is an ideal size for me - 200 people - and the community is much smaller, just what I like! The downside is I would have to...	twinkie	5	547	Sep 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Living in fantasy (Preview) I spoke to the A today one day before he has to go to court. He lives, eats sleeps fantasy. He has a broken pair of glasses and is walking around looking really wierd as the glasses are broken and it amkes him look crazy. He refuses to go cash in on medi-cal which he is eligible for because he is "moving&...	maresie2	2	485	Sep 10, 2007 by maresie2
	saying No (Preview) this morning I said no to various requests three times, this is real breakthough for me, also I am going to ask ex-A to move on now, as I feel I am ready. He's off the booze but dying for his term of treatment to be up so he can go back to the same ol same ol. Its very boring listening to him, but am going to cork for...	maire rua	2	281	Sep 10, 2007 by maresie2
	indecision - help! (Preview) Hi All - into over a year of my recovery and have finally found serenity for me. I am out of the fog I was in called insanity - yeah! Part of my past behaviors was to always be on the go, once I'd hit a point of discontent, I was on to another boyfriend, another job or another state. This year has helped me see...	twinkie	4	404	Sep 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	saying no to the A no matter what (Preview) After all the A has put me through with vehicles, speeding tickets, trashing the truck and more he stil has a sense of entitlement. He'a asked me numerous times to fund a rental car for him (he is living in a rural area with no/limited public transit). I jsut tell him my credit is ruined and I have no money....	maresie2	5	555	Sep 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	another weekend (Preview) This will be a weekend I will be spending without the a and I am looking forward to quiet time and a time to regroup before I have to move onto to another phase of my life. I am deeply deeply in debt and must repair my credit somehow if I am going to rent again in the next few years. I will have to get another job an...	maresie2	3	349	Sep 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	trying....but it's really hard (Preview) Okay, so I'm reading my books and trying to not be codependent and trying to detach, but it's really hard. The last 3 weeks have been hell. I have a lot a patience but it's wearing thin. Trying to detach when on our days off he goes to the liquor store 3 times a day to get drunk, as I will not have any alcohol...	CJ098	9	601	Sep 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The “Questionnaire” for Frequently Asked Questions (Preview) Hi Fellow Al-Anons , As you may have already read we are gathering Frequently Asked Questions (aka) FAQs for the MIP Al-Anon Group Members and future members who will find their way here. These questions will pertain to both this message board and the chat room. If you have a question or know of a questi...	tea2	9	2018	Sep 10, 2007 by jonibaloni21
	Where do I go from Here????? (Preview) So, my wife of 12 years tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. She has been sober for 5 years, goes to AA meetings. Well she says that I am no fun anymore and that I am a grump. It seems that ever since she stopped drinking the fun in our marriage has gone away and my role has changed. I defin...	paul123	8	584	Sep 10, 2007 by ddub
	wanna fight facing truth (Preview) I wanna fight. baby steps get me to a new vantage point and you face more truths that are real and again don't meet my fantasy. Can't go back to denial now after what I've learned so far. And just feel like I am kicking and screaming as I don't want to keep going forward and facing any more honest truths...	ddub	7	599	Sep 10, 2007 by ddub
	Thought y'all would like to know about the long term results of boundries (Preview) Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it. -Maimonides so, Mom abruptly decided that she was going to come into Dayton this weekend. And of course my flags go up. I'm feeling like, "Lady, does noth...	Tiger2006	2	515	Sep 9, 2007 by Jen
	It's Over (Preview) First of all, just wanted to thank you for all the kind responses from my last post. Ok so I've been going over and over it in my head and decided it's time to end this marriage. I really just can't do it anymore. I think I have put up with it for way too long. Things will never change with my AH and I don't want ti...	sgraingermk	4	548	Sep 9, 2007 by Fifi
	Indecision - need guidance... (Preview) oops! Sorry -- Edited by twinkie at 14:52, 2007-09-09	twinkie	0	264	Sep 9, 2007 by twinkie
	Done Yet? (Preview) I tried to bite my tongue tonite (I didn't really do a good job at it...) My AHsober was watching sports on the tv in the bedroom, while I was watching tv in the living room. He decided to listen to a particular game on the radio in the sunroom, and left the bedroom tv and light on. During a commercial on m...	lmt123	2	387	Sep 9, 2007 by Diva
	lonnnnng one again. letting more of the past out step 4?? (Preview) continuation of the other day i guess i am just able to sit down and get some more stuff that is on my mind. i talked about my daughter my a and my mom growing up. i didnt mention that even after my mom got us out of that other state and got us all back together in one household i can still remember the night it ha...	frazzled	2	652	Sep 9, 2007 by getoverit
	ANABUSE (Preview) ANABUSE....I haven't seen any posts on the subject of this drug. I had a written script for it for A son, but never filled it as I didn't feel that I knew enough about it....side effects, etc. Comments, please.	MISC	8	1268	Sep 9, 2007 by Christy
	Just for today.... (Preview) Today, I will solve the problems of today. I might have become so focused on solving all the problems in my life that I haven't noticed the little problems that arise each day. Do I have anything that needs to be completed or resolved today? I will take a moment each day and work on what I need to do just for t...	Tiger2006	2	332	Sep 9, 2007 by maire rua
	The disease seperates Mom & child - breaks a Grandmother's heart (Preview) As many of you know, my 6th grandchild will be 1 month old tomorrow. Jace is a beautiful healthy little man - born to our addict daughter. She struggled during this pregnancy and I prayed like all of you do, that she would do better this time. But the disease knows NO boundaries. Her boyfriend came ho...	Rita G	7	746	Sep 9, 2007 by moms3
	Fabulousness (Preview) One of the previous posts talked about maintaining our fabulousness. Its a great concept. Let me consider ways I can maintain mine.I think mine involve taking care of myself. I take time to pray and to walk.I brush my teeth every night, regardless of someone waiting for me in bed, and every morning,...	Jill	6	517	Sep 8, 2007 by lmt123
	Detachment With Love (Preview) I posted this poem I wrote to my A over a year ago. There are so many new members and I see alot of posts about detaching I wanted to post it again, to share with you all. Prayers and Hugs, Kim *Each and every day,* *it gets easier,* *to go away.......*	moms3	5	522	Sep 8, 2007 by Fifi
	Not too fabulous (Preview) Yesterday, I did go to the ex's work. I did attempt to show his GF (fiancee I just found out, he bought her a beautiful diamond) the text messages he's been sending me for a couple months. He smashed my cell, and got very physically violent and threw me out the door. I went straight to the police station a...	serendipity	7	559	Sep 8, 2007 by frazzled
	Having a hard time. :( (Preview) Well about less than 2weeks ago i thought i had this detachment thing FINALLY figured out. After 13 years of dealing with AH, i thought "wow i'm finally taking care of myself. and to the extent I still am. But it's so hard. I was started to see a change in him as well. But of course that was too good to be...	sgraingermk	5	458	Sep 8, 2007 by Jen
	balance while baby steppin' (Preview) Not feelin' real great so gonna just write what I feel good about and why not .... so I can try and find some light at the end of the tunnel - like a very bad roller coaster ride in a very long dark tunnel - couple sky lights now and then but false hope of more consistant progress bites. gratitude and way to go t...	ddub	5	1053	Sep 7, 2007 by Kim65
	FORCE son to go to AA meetings ? (Preview) O.K. here is my very first post as a newbie..........and my question is.........do you think it's ok for us (as the parents )of a 22 year old A son who is living with us to demand he attend AA meetings ? He's in denial, but has had problems for the past 6 plus years.............mips, jail, treatment pr...	MISC	7	664	Sep 7, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Unusual peace (Preview) I think it's been a couple weeks since I joined and I have been sort of quiet since. I think I'm just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of having my daughter living somewhere else without feeling guilty because I feel that way and without trying to project too much into the future. Her situation is not pe...	Toni	3	371	Sep 7, 2007 by abbyal
	Today I really feel for the A (Preview) I was going to quit smoking today (AGAIN!!!). I was sure I was going to do it. Half way to work I stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and I was soooo disappointed in myself. Then I thought this must be what they feel like times ten. Cigarettes may be killing me but at least they don't cost me EVERYTHI...	carolinagirl	4	630	Sep 7, 2007 by lin0606
	twinmum where are you? (Preview) I have not seen you post in a long long time. I hope all is ok with you. I wrote my creditors today and thought of you and your struggle. I am going to work on it one day at a time. Please post soon and let us all know how you are. maresie.	maresie2	0	275	Sep 7, 2007 by maresie2
	had echo today (Preview) I just got back from having the echocardiogram. The tech said he didn't see anything (could he tell me if he did?), but he had to send the results to the cardiologist and I'd hear from them on Monday. Hopefully he/she won't see anything and hopefully they can explain why the size of my heart has changed...	lmt123	5	311	Sep 7, 2007 by lmt123
	facing jail time (Preview) I saw the A yesterday and decided to keep the beagle for another week. I managed to get it out of him that he is going to court on Monday. He looks absolutely terrible, worse than I have ever seen him. He is not making any sense about what he is going to do. I imagine he presumes he will go to jail although he do...	maresie2	4	484	Sep 7, 2007 by QOD
	And the plot thickens.... (Preview) So I finally got thru to the "special police" who arrested the A back in November the night before I was leaving on my trip to DC with the kids. Anywho, I am going tomorrow to get a copy of the police report to try to clear my name with the insurance company. I learned that this place is a private...	carolinagirl	6	484	Sep 7, 2007 by maresie2
	The only thing that stays the same is change... (Preview) it occurred to me this morning that I keep fighting a losing battle. I keep waiting for the day when everything and everybody is easily handled. The last 3 weeks have been crazy. Filled with loss. The first situation is one of change. I can still have this person in my life just not in the capacity I am used...	seekingserenity	3	487	Sep 6, 2007 by Maria123
	Difficult Relationship EVEN though 3 years Sobriety!! (Preview) My spouse has been sober for three years now. I am so happy for him. The problem I am having is that I do not want to be married any longer. I am surprised by that because I fought so long for saving our marriage and put up with so much. Now, he has been sober but I do not have any feelings for him as a sp...	torias	10	484	Sep 6, 2007 by torias
	What is alcoholism? (Preview) I have been reading some literature concerning the diagnosis of alcoholism. One book in particular identifies it as a physiological disease. My question is how do you know when someone is an alcoholic? One could say after the first DUI, or the second or the third... Or how about finding stashed bo...	TheArtOf	11	653	Sep 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Another painful reminder. (Preview) Well I went to switch insurance companies today and found out that back in Nov. when the A got the dui and the truck was impounded and damaged that the claim I called in was filed under MY driving record as an accident that was MY fault. Considering that I was not anywhere near the vehicle I am extremely fr...	carolinagirl	5	456	Sep 6, 2007 by carolinagirl
	update on situation (Preview) Hi All, ex-A got out of hospital yesterday with Ulceritis Colitis, drink has nothing to do with that right! he went out last night and drank moderately. He is convinced that it is worse than cancer and was a real pain in the butt last night. I knew this would be the case so I detached very quickly. He kept gi...	maire rua	2	374	Sep 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Healing from Surgery (Preview) The surgery for my "trigger Thumb" went OK, only a 1" incision, and 2 stitches, but the scar tissue is pretty big and the stitches painful. I have exercises I have to do to keep my thumb limber, will be off work total of 14 days, today is 1 week since the surgery. AH has been pretty nice. I a...	Becky1	5	462	Sep 6, 2007 by Becky1
	hiding from life in general (Preview) I have been talking to one of my recovery partners at length about a topic that we both seem to have compulsive behaviors behind. I believe now that my long extended relationship with the A was a core symptom of hiding from life. I had to make his life more important than mine in order to hide from all my ne...	maresie2	4	510	Sep 6, 2007 by maresie2
	TRUST (Preview) Hi Everyone, I was invited by another Alanon member to attend a lecture on Alcoholism. The topic of trust was discussed and how important trust is in a relationship. A guy I started dating told me twice he would call me the next day and didn't. I went from feeling angry to feeling betrayed to feeling very...	kissers	4	367	Sep 6, 2007 by Jen
	Break Thru (Preview) Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...	CJ098	4	505	Sep 6, 2007 by Jen
	Happy Sanity Birthday to ME (Preview) Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...	Rita G	8	400	Sep 6, 2007 by carosie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.