Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wondering, Why is it that now, when things are harder for me well financially anyway that I feel more greatful for everything than I ever have? Why is it that when I was first single I was desperate for a man and now that I have been single longer and should be lonelier I could care less about finding a g...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today was the last day of my 4 day weekend. I was disappointed on Saturday because I didn't get the furniture the guy had promised. Started my jaded thinking about guys and how they always let you down - but not for long. Anyway, today he came to meet me to help me move 2 twin mattresses that I got for free f...

kissers · kissers

My boss instructed me to relay a message to a colleague today. I just listened and didn't respond. He is asking a colleague to lie about being in the area of a convention I am doing, so he doesn't have to pay the full amount requested for a spot. I can understand wanting to save money; however, this is not ri...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have found all the months and months of learning how to detach from the A are coming to good use in my current life. One of the people who live in the house I live in is very destructive and to put it bluntly vicious. I am able to detach right away and focus on what I need to do. Normally I would be awah in over re...

marmare · marmare

Well, it's been months since things were crazy with me and my A. It has started again, he was in a controled drinking state which now, of course is spinning out of control. I of course thought he would be fine, I would be fine, and of course WE would be fine. I am thankful that I have continued to do my read...

bob6502 · bob6502

Ok...once again, these sponsee critters are fabulous creations. My sponsee is working on her 4th step, and we met today and talked about all things Al-Anon. In the context of our conversation, we were discussing serenity and progress not perfection. She was having problems with feeling serenity...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Unfortunately my job has to finish at the end of October, the lady I replaced has decided to come back, I don't blame her its a great job. I am upset but not as devastated as I thought I would be, though its come at the worst time financially, the grant people are looking for their pound of flesh, sayi...

Fairen · Fairen

Hi Everyone ~ I've always wanted to post on boards like this, but until now, haven't had the guts to do so. I was married briefly to an alcoholic from 1995-1997. Since that time, I've dated here and there, with two long-term relationships that ended due to moves related to careers. However, about si...

Jen · Jen

There are a lot of changes happening in my life these days. It is a lot to keep up with. I have an understanding now that change is generally good, but it is still difficult to adapt so quickly. My AH is really making good progress right now and I am almost feeling hard pressed to keep up. I have to keep remind...

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

Welcome Krystina, so glad you found us. I was afraid your post might get lost in the thread on first meetings, so I started a new thread. It's great that your fiance is asking for help, and great that you are there for him. Be aware that as his recovery progresses, he may no longer want you to go to every mee...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I guess I have 2/3 of those I need the strength right now and probably more experience! My oldest is turning 13 Thursday and she is DRIVING ME NUTS!!! I really don't know how to deal with her other than yelling and smacking her occasionally! Here's the things: Attitude 24/7 like a chip on her shoulder a...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I think this is becoming my favorite slogan, but one that is so hard to live by. I am posting here now to convince myself to apply it, now. My ah went to rehab in Feb. Alcohol, drugs and an alcoholic g/f. Saved his life and my kids got their dad back, so I can't say it was a wasted experience. Quickly fell off th...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've shared that my ah has a "friend". This person worked for us and was a part of our extended social circle. Thier relationship is still not over and my ah is not sober anymore. Was he ever? Probably not, just maintaining at a lesser degree. He is not openly drunk or using, and incredibly pri...

Emmie73 · Emmie73

This is my first post: sorry that I dont know your abbreviations yet and, if something I say doesnt make any sense to you, it might be because Im British. My husband is an active alcoholic. Ive only just started going to al-anon. Ive been to 2 meetings so far and I have found them a comfort but Im expectin...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Things were going along beautifully and then the bottom just dropped out. In the last month, my daughters' step mom died, my home health aide of 2 years has quit and I now have 2 new ones and I have been fighting to get medical transportation that some beaurocrats decided to take away from me without noti...

maresie2 · maresie2

I know as long as I am engaged in the A's chaos I am not dealing with my own stuff. I don't much like the amount of debt I'm in. I was certainly in debt before the A and I separated. Now afer helping him for a few motnhs I'm in even more. I pulled teh plug on helping across the board. While I never in a million years...

friendofyours4 · friendofyours4

For some reason I found myself being very overprotective with my kids more then usual. It was like something was hovering over me. Well guess what? Today my daughter came to me with a night light. It was burned and a stuffed animal was burnt to it. It was very hot and if it were not found then it could have ca...

Jen · Jen

I was feeling pretty bad yesterday. Didn't even realize how bad most of the day. Was having a hard time keeping my temper with the kids. Then the A called and I really realize how the resentment has been building up. Hauling water has become the focus of my life these days and will be until the rain comes, a...

cstwwt · cstwwt

Boy oh boy, second night in a row for me posting. Boy am I glad you all are here!! I guess I'm getting into the thick of this muck!! So tonight, ah is very quiet, almost avoiding me. It's just about time to go to dd game and he is laying in bed! Says he is tired! So I suggest he stay home for 30 minutes and ju...

momof3angels · momof3angels

I will be attending my first Al anon meeting tonite. I've been wanting to for some time but have finally gotten my nerve up to actually go. My husband has been a problem drinker for some time. He has always had times where he would go on a binge for a couple of days, but it used to be much more far and few betwee...

hudsond · hudsond

Well my hubby has a court date this week. The charges are over 1 year old, one if from something he supposedly did 3 years ago. I am uneasy about it all. He isn't thrilled, but says he's not going to worry about it. I know that everyone has to deal with the consequences of their behavior, but I hate to see...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear friends, I found this today on the website for the National Association for Children of Alcholics and I thought I would share this expanded version of the 3 C's. It is written for kids, but works just as well for adults, I think. I plan to keep a copy of this in my wallet as a personal reminder . I di...

cstwwt · cstwwt

Looking for the thoughts of some of you who have been there before me....... H is sober about 2 months, going to AA and an aftercare program. Has been an A for 20 some years. We've been married 18 years. Our marriage has not been good for some time....4-5 years. Looking back alcohol has played a big par...

ddub · ddub

I won't be so angry!! I am not even sure who I am upset with most - myself or my A. In prior posts I explained how I gave up my career to stay home and raise our kids. I thought our plan was to get to a comfortable financial status and then share more the duties of parenting and household so we could both purs...

QOD · QOD

I have been feeling soooo lonely and weak over the past few weeks. I had posted a time or two about this I believe. Praying that part of my problem was due to not being on the pill and my hormones going bananas. I prayed that this loneliness and weakness would pass me by sooner than later b/c it has really...

Christy · Christy

I sent Shelli the link about her marathon. She was in awe of all the kindess here. She has responded to the thread, thanking you all. I just wanted to make sure that those who responded saw it. She is "chelleville"

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, at present I am very short of money and have just withdrawn from a potential job which I felt would be a negative experience. I did not get a good impression of the person I would be teaching and normally I would force this situation to be right as the money for the job was excellent. I am just not ab...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((Everyone)))))))) Today I am feeling a lot of gratitude, for you, this program and for life in general. Over time I have noticed that the tools I have used to simply keep me off the edge of the bridge... has enriched every corner of my life. I have only been in the program for a year and a half, so I h...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Just wanted to share or vent a bit. This weekend was a nice weekend and then Sunday morning rolls around and I don't have the same feeling I had to go to church. We found this church that my AH's sponser introduced us to. The pastor's and the people seemed to be warm and welcoming. It...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Hey guys. First of all I want to say THANK YOU for all your responses. My friends her at Alanon are just great!!! I went to see the attorney on Wednesday. I couldn't beleive I actually I went. There had been 3 other times in the past 2 years that I had scheduled appointments that last minute I cancelled. My...

diego doe · diego doe

I am really new - maybe 10 minutes old. I don't even know if I belong here. I have reason to believe that I am in a relationship with someone who drinks too much. I don't want to make mistakes - I know I will but if I can avoid some bumps in the road it sure would be nice. How do you know if your significant oth...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got another letter from the A from jail (they are getting more and more frequent now that he's getting out in 3 weeks). He wants to see the kids, he has no place to go, he doesn't know what he's going to do, a few guilt trips about sleeping on the church steps, that girl didn't mean anything to him, etc. an...

entropyart · entropyart

i just got married in august, in june he was diagnosed with cirrhosis but no biopsi was done so we don't know how bad it is. he seemed to not drink for 3 months (now his friends say he was sneaking). Since the wedding (8/4) he has been drinking one beer a day. he is not violent or volatile but ONE BEER WILL KIL...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Hello again to everyone. OK so we planned the little get together for Sunday (yesterday). Not an intervention but to for the family to talk to My AH. The plan was to see what his reaction would be after everyone spoke. Well the day before (Saturday) He called me from work and said he would like to talk a...

bob6502 · bob6502

I had a wonderful experience today. I am the proud sponsor of several people and one of them called me today. She is struggling in her marriage and called me for support and inspiration. The nice thing about the sponsor relationship is that it's a two-way street. Today it was her turn to provide me with i...

Heather72 · Heather72

My A will reach 60 days sober next week. He has been receiving bi-weekly counseling, working his drug court program and talking ALOT. I haven't been online in a while, life has been a roller coaster lately. I have been in counseling myself. My A has been slowly revealing his history. A...

maresie2 · maresie2

There may be an opportunity in a building near by to move to a larger space. I will not know for a few weeks. I am finidng it hard going to live in a tiny space and have to move most of my stuff to storage. I can get really stuck in that I'm here for ever so its important for me not to latch onto this opportunity as t...

bobump · bobump

While typing an email I said the following: The road ahead is rough, but for once in my life I have to go through something instead of around it. And around it.and around it..hahahaha Which lead me to my metaphore (for those not familiar w/ traffic circles, NJ had tons, http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...

paul123 · paul123

So last week she tells me that "I Love you, I am just not in Love with you" Then she gets mad at me for not giving her a kiss goodbye in the morning when I left for work...... These are the things that make us crazy isn't it. The uncertain emotions from my AW. She is sober and goes to meetings and I...

bobump · bobump

What you can't do yourself. My A asked to speak to me. Just grabbed me and hugged me. Said that now that she has her license it would be all better. She can do the things to make herself a better person, started talking about things she was going to do. She asked me if I would reconsider. We were both dis...

friendofyours4 · friendofyours4

I'm not sure how I did it but I deleted my sign in for MIP and I can not for the life of me remember my password so I had to start over again~ So now it shows I am a newbie...lol Hopefully one of the mods will help me retrieve it and have it sent to me. It said it sent it to me but I never got it. I want my old one back. :( S...

ddub · ddub

Live and learn - seems I learn every thing by doing rather than hearing - the school of hard knocks! So I slept throught a weekly meeting but I went to an evening one a few days later. Then last wkend I really felt good, did well and had a good talk with A...... so I just forgot about the meeting the next morn...

serendipity · serendipity

I had a horrible day. But I did get my butt up and took 2 friends to see a show that my best friend is in. I was supposed to go last weekend but was too depressed to move. I looked great, felt awsome, and the show was hysterical. It was The Musical of Musicals, The Musical. It was a parody of musicals. I swear I ha...

entropyart · entropyart

i keep seeing this...i already suffer from being overly clingy (child of 2 alcoholics)...how can i do this...any tricks any suggestions?

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, I am here because I need to vent before my hubby gets home. He went out last night and didn't come back. Nothing new, old behaviours coming back. Next Wednesday he will have been back from a 7 month stint in our county jail. about 3 weeks before he came home I asked him if he could not stay clean and...

moms3 · moms3

Hello to My MIP Family, (((((( HUGS ))))) I know I haven't posted much, I have replied, I have taken breaks, and I have sat quietly and read. It is time for me to post......... A couple weeks ago, where I live, I heard late at night, on the scanner, that someone had found a man electricuted by a tra...

frazzled · frazzled

well visting mom was just fine, i think we will be fine too. the past is the past and im in recovery and there is no reason to hate her she did what she thought was right and or worked with what she had/knew.... things could have turned out much worse and they didnt so thats good enough me. i can move on. ive sto...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

The church was full of Eric's friends so it was a great turnout. His parents, who he hasn't talked to in years were there. Too bad that's what had to bring them together. You could tell his father was full of grief for not talking to his son earlier. They had a few people sing and one friend of Eric's even pla...

ddub · ddub

sitting here thinking which can be dangerous that while there are daily crisis, insanity, depression, etc wouldn't it be helpful to have daily routines to be pro active using al anon tools for a good mind set rather than dig out the tools to use as needed the biggest goal to me is keeping the mind in reco...

bobump · bobump

<deep breath in> <exxxxxhale>I told my AW yesterday afternoon that I want a divorce. It was hard for me to say those specific words. I used phrases like we are done. The marriage is done. Amazing how hard it is to say. I was wondering what would be best, one on one, or with a counselor p...

serendipity · serendipity

The RO stands for me. It was modified so that he can see the kids. I did not want that as he only ever uses the kids to get to me. My lawyer is an idiot and said " It would Ok for Mr. Doofus's sister to contact her to arrange supervised visitation." I think I looked at him like he had 3 heads. Doofus ag...

tropicalrozes · tropicalrozes

I have been playing with Al-Anon for some time now- going to meetings for short spurts, then convincing myself that I can do it on my own. That everything will turn out alright. I have been trying to do it all on my own my whole life and it hardly seems to be working. My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me fo...

binohio · binohio

I think I have done this all my life. Sometimes Im not sure what it looks like. Other people say to me that they are upset by how I am treated, but Im not upset. So it makes me wonder if I am suppose to be upset. After my ex and I split for the last time. Well let me back up a bit, to be honest we have been divorced f...

lilms · lilms

(((((((((MIP Family))))))))) I am finding for me that I need to take a break from this for a bit. I will see you all the end of October. Live large, Laugh long and Love deeply. love you all, lilms

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so I had the talk with my hubby about divorce. I spoke to him Sunday and told him I thought that this would be the best thing. He didn't get angry, just very upset. (SAD) WE talked about the house, and everything else that goes with having a divorce. It was sooo wierd. never thought that it would come to t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, today was a good day. I usually feel that way when I cheat on my diet and eat sugar...LOL . I have the next 4 days off and am pondering what to do with myself. I think I'm going to clean, go to a movie and if the predicted rain doesn't come go to the beach. It would be a nice change to go alone without ha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))))), Good morning! I was just skimming over hubby's new meditation book when I came across this passage. Then when I opened up my email, lo and behold here was the same reading. I'd like to share it with you. HP trying to tell me something? "Practicing tolerance Everyone has a d...

carosie · carosie

Feeling quite sad today..had to take my beloved dog Sandy of 11 yrs to the vet. She was a16yr old Shephard/Akita mix. Today was her day to pass on. She was a wonderful friend. She saw me thru many a rough day with my AH(sober now). I got her when she was 5yrs old from my sister who was moving and didn't wa...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi group.... I just closed a few threads that were not about anything remotely close to why we are all here. Not taking sides or giving personal opinions on ANY of this latest controversy - let's just all get back to why we are here - to learn from each other, to grow in knowledge, to focus on our respectiv...

Fifi · Fifi

Hi I was just reviewing David's review of alanon and some abbreviations commonly used. I came across one I had not seen....JADE...justify,argue,defend,explain. My first response was" I remember my Abf accusing me of these things in every discussion"....he would be so angry that...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why is it that? (Preview) Just wondering, Why is it that now, when things are harder for me well financially anyway that I feel more greatful for everything than I ever have? Why is it that when I was first single I was desperate for a man and now that I have been single longer and should be lonelier I could care less about finding a g...	carolinagirl	7	361	Sep 19, 2007 by maresie2
	Excellent Day!!! (Preview) Today was the last day of my 4 day weekend. I was disappointed on Saturday because I didn't get the furniture the guy had promised. Started my jaded thinking about guys and how they always let you down - but not for long. Anyway, today he came to meet me to help me move 2 twin mattresses that I got for free f...	carolinagirl	7	325	Sep 19, 2007 by Loupiness
	Craziness At Work (Preview) My boss instructed me to relay a message to a colleague today. I just listened and didn't respond. He is asking a colleague to lie about being in the area of a convention I am doing, so he doesn't have to pay the full amount requested for a spot. I can understand wanting to save money; however, this is not ri...	kissers	6	457	Sep 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Detaching/focus (Preview) I have found all the months and months of learning how to detach from the A are coming to good use in my current life. One of the people who live in the house I live in is very destructive and to put it bluntly vicious. I am able to detach right away and focus on what I need to do. Normally I would be awah in over re...	maresie2	2	338	Sep 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Been a while since there was insainty... (Preview) Well, it's been months since things were crazy with me and my A. It has started again, he was in a controled drinking state which now, of course is spinning out of control. I of course thought he would be fine, I would be fine, and of course WE would be fine. I am thankful that I have continued to do my read...	marmare	5	560	Sep 19, 2007 by Karilynn
	I am not a fruit fly!!! (Preview) Ok...once again, these sponsee critters are fabulous creations. My sponsee is working on her 4th step, and we met today and talked about all things Al-Anon. In the context of our conversation, we were discussing serenity and progress not perfection. She was having problems with feeling serenity...	bob6502	6	562	Sep 19, 2007 by Karilynn
	Insecure finances (Preview) Hi All, Unfortunately my job has to finish at the end of October, the lady I replaced has decided to come back, I don't blame her its a great job. I am upset but not as devastated as I thought I would be, though its come at the worst time financially, the grant people are looking for their pound of flesh, sayi...	maire rua	4	537	Sep 19, 2007 by maire rua
	new here, and feeling emotionally twisted... (Preview) Hi Everyone ~ I've always wanted to post on boards like this, but until now, haven't had the guts to do so. I was married briefly to an alcoholic from 1995-1997. Since that time, I've dated here and there, with two long-term relationships that ended due to moves related to careers. However, about si...	Fairen	16	830	Sep 19, 2007 by ddub
	Change is good. Really, it is. (Preview) There are a lot of changes happening in my life these days. It is a lot to keep up with. I have an understanding now that change is generally good, but it is still difficult to adapt so quickly. My AH is really making good progress right now and I am almost feeling hard pressed to keep up. I have to keep remind...	Jen	3	493	Sep 19, 2007 by Jen
	Welcome to alanon, Krystina (Preview) Welcome Krystina, so glad you found us. I was afraid your post might get lost in the thread on first meetings, so I started a new thread. It's great that your fiance is asking for help, and great that you are there for him. Be aware that as his recovery progresses, he may no longer want you to go to every mee...	thinkstoomuch	2	431	Sep 19, 2007 by ddub
	Teenage girl problems HELP!@ Need some ESH! (Preview) I guess I have 2/3 of those I need the strength right now and probably more experience! My oldest is turning 13 Thursday and she is DRIVING ME NUTS!!! I really don't know how to deal with her other than yelling and smacking her occasionally! Here's the things: Attitude 24/7 like a chip on her shoulder a...	carolinagirl	13	671	Sep 18, 2007 by lin0606
	When in Doubt, Don't (Preview) I think this is becoming my favorite slogan, but one that is so hard to live by. I am posting here now to convince myself to apply it, now. My ah went to rehab in Feb. Alcohol, drugs and an alcoholic g/f. Saved his life and my kids got their dad back, so I can't say it was a wasted experience. Quickly fell off th...	Loupiness	4	503	Sep 18, 2007 by lin0606
	Powerful Me - part 2 (Preview) I've shared that my ah has a "friend". This person worked for us and was a part of our extended social circle. Thier relationship is still not over and my ah is not sober anymore. Was he ever? Probably not, just maintaining at a lesser degree. He is not openly drunk or using, and incredibly pri...	Loupiness	6	952	Sep 18, 2007 by Loupiness
	Being undermined by my mother-in-law (Preview) This is my first post: sorry that I dont know your abbreviations yet and, if something I say doesnt make any sense to you, it might be because Im British. My husband is an active alcoholic. Ive only just started going to al-anon. Ive been to 2 meetings so far and I have found them a comfort but Im expectin...	Emmie73	7	1121	Sep 18, 2007 by Emmie73
	I feel like a rag doll (Preview) Things were going along beautifully and then the bottom just dropped out. In the last month, my daughters' step mom died, my home health aide of 2 years has quit and I now have 2 new ones and I have been fighting to get medical transportation that some beaurocrats decided to take away from me without noti...	seekingserenity	4	567	Sep 18, 2007 by maire rua
	reality (Preview) I know as long as I am engaged in the A's chaos I am not dealing with my own stuff. I don't much like the amount of debt I'm in. I was certainly in debt before the A and I separated. Now afer helping him for a few motnhs I'm in even more. I pulled teh plug on helping across the board. While I never in a million years...	maresie2	5	320	Sep 18, 2007 by maire rua
	Listen to your inner voice. (Preview) For some reason I found myself being very overprotective with my kids more then usual. It was like something was hovering over me. Well guess what? Today my daughter came to me with a night light. It was burned and a stuffed animal was burnt to it. It was very hot and if it were not found then it could have ca...	friendofyours4	4	426	Sep 18, 2007 by maire rua
	Just needing to talk (Preview) I was feeling pretty bad yesterday. Didn't even realize how bad most of the day. Was having a hard time keeping my temper with the kids. Then the A called and I really realize how the resentment has been building up. Hauling water has become the focus of my life these days and will be until the rain comes, a...	Jen	9	474	Sep 18, 2007 by Jen
	Is this where detachment comes in? (Preview) Boy oh boy, second night in a row for me posting. Boy am I glad you all are here!! I guess I'm getting into the thick of this muck!! So tonight, ah is very quiet, almost avoiding me. It's just about time to go to dd game and he is laying in bed! Says he is tired! So I suggest he stay home for 30 minutes and ju...	cstwwt	7	611	Sep 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	New-need to vent (Preview) I will be attending my first Al anon meeting tonite. I've been wanting to for some time but have finally gotten my nerve up to actually go. My husband has been a problem drinker for some time. He has always had times where he would go on a binge for a couple of days, but it used to be much more far and few betwee...	momof3angels	9	902	Sep 18, 2007 by Kim65
	court date (Preview) Well my hubby has a court date this week. The charges are over 1 year old, one if from something he supposedly did 3 years ago. I am uneasy about it all. He isn't thrilled, but says he's not going to worry about it. I know that everyone has to deal with the consequences of their behavior, but I hate to see...	hudsond	5	331	Sep 18, 2007 by hudsond
	The Seven C's (Preview) Dear friends, I found this today on the website for the National Association for Children of Alcholics and I thought I would share this expanded version of the 3 C's. It is written for kids, but works just as well for adults, I think. I plan to keep a copy of this in my wallet as a personal reminder . I di...	BlueCloud	2	1542	Sep 18, 2007 by friendofyours4
	wondering about future of marriage (Preview) Looking for the thoughts of some of you who have been there before me....... H is sober about 2 months, going to AA and an aftercare program. Has been an A for 20 some years. We've been married 18 years. Our marriage has not been good for some time....4-5 years. Looking back alcohol has played a big par...	cstwwt	7	618	Sep 18, 2007 by bobump
	maybe if I write about this..... (Preview) I won't be so angry!! I am not even sure who I am upset with most - myself or my A. In prior posts I explained how I gave up my career to stay home and raise our kids. I thought our plan was to get to a comfortable financial status and then share more the duties of parenting and household so we could both purs...	ddub	3	467	Sep 18, 2007 by bobump
	Feeling Lonely & Weak Lead to Guilt & Shame (Preview) I have been feeling soooo lonely and weak over the past few weeks. I had posted a time or two about this I believe. Praying that part of my problem was due to not being on the pill and my hormones going bananas. I prayed that this loneliness and weakness would pass me by sooner than later b/c it has really...	QOD	5	757	Sep 17, 2007 by Kim65
	re: The daughter/marathon thread (Preview) I sent Shelli the link about her marathon. She was in awe of all the kindess here. She has responded to the thread, thanking you all. I just wanted to make sure that those who responded saw it. She is "chelleville"	Christy	1	536	Sep 17, 2007 by friendofyours4
	detaching from people and events (Preview) Dear all, at present I am very short of money and have just withdrawn from a potential job which I felt would be a negative experience. I did not get a good impression of the person I would be teaching and normally I would force this situation to be right as the money for the job was excellent. I am just not ab...	maire rua	5	680	Sep 17, 2007 by maresie2
	Definition of insanity ... expanded (Preview) ((((((((Everyone)))))))) Today I am feeling a lot of gratitude, for you, this program and for life in general. Over time I have noticed that the tools I have used to simply keep me off the edge of the bridge... has enriched every corner of my life. I have only been in the program for a year and a half, so I h...	rtexas	6	1310	Sep 17, 2007 by maresie2
	Aism can still spoil so much (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Just wanted to share or vent a bit. This weekend was a nice weekend and then Sunday morning rolls around and I don't have the same feeling I had to go to church. We found this church that my AH's sponser introduced us to. The pastor's and the people seemed to be warm and welcoming. It...	twinmom2	6	528	Sep 17, 2007 by maresie2
	I went to see an attorney LONG (Preview) Hey guys. First of all I want to say THANK YOU for all your responses. My friends her at Alanon are just great!!! I went to see the attorney on Wednesday. I couldn't beleive I actually I went. There had been 3 other times in the past 2 years that I had scheduled appointments that last minute I cancelled. My...	sgraingermk	7	599	Sep 17, 2007 by maresie2
	New and Lost (Preview) I am really new - maybe 10 minutes old. I don't even know if I belong here. I have reason to believe that I am in a relationship with someone who drinks too much. I don't want to make mistakes - I know I will but if I can avoid some bumps in the road it sure would be nice. How do you know if your significant oth...	diego doe	7	487	Sep 17, 2007 by diego doe
	Having a good weekend (Preview) I got another letter from the A from jail (they are getting more and more frequent now that he's getting out in 3 weeks). He wants to see the kids, he has no place to go, he doesn't know what he's going to do, a few guilt trips about sleeping on the church steps, that girl didn't mean anything to him, etc. an...	carolinagirl	3	356	Sep 17, 2007 by QOD
	new wife of alcoholic (Preview) i just got married in august, in june he was diagnosed with cirrhosis but no biopsi was done so we don't know how bad it is. he seemed to not drink for 3 months (now his friends say he was sneaking). Since the wedding (8/4) he has been drinking one beer a day. he is not violent or volatile but ONE BEER WILL KIL...	entropyart	12	825	Sep 17, 2007 by debilyn
	There is HOPE. (Preview) Hello again to everyone. OK so we planned the little get together for Sunday (yesterday). Not an intervention but to for the family to talk to My AH. The plan was to see what his reaction would be after everyone spoke. Well the day before (Saturday) He called me from work and said he would like to talk a...	sgraingermk	3	523	Sep 17, 2007 by friendofyours4
	Listening to HP (Preview) I had a wonderful experience today. I am the proud sponsor of several people and one of them called me today. She is struggling in her marriage and called me for support and inspiration. The nice thing about the sponsor relationship is that it's a two-way street. Today it was her turn to provide me with i...	bob6502	3	544	Sep 17, 2007 by Mandy123
	My A is peeking out from behind the curtain (Preview) My A will reach 60 days sober next week. He has been receiving bi-weekly counseling, working his drug court program and talking ALOT. I haven't been online in a while, life has been a roller coaster lately. I have been in counseling myself. My A has been slowly revealing his history. A...	Heather72	4	750	Sep 16, 2007 by serendipity
	an opportunity (Preview) There may be an opportunity in a building near by to move to a larger space. I will not know for a few weeks. I am finidng it hard going to live in a tiny space and have to move most of my stuff to storage. I can get really stuck in that I'm here for ever so its important for me not to latch onto this opportunity as t...	maresie2	4	331	Sep 16, 2007 by debilyn
	A metaphore that just popped into my mind ... (Preview) While typing an email I said the following: The road ahead is rough, but for once in my life I have to go through something instead of around it. And around it.and around it..hahahaha Which lead me to my metaphore (for those not familiar w/ traffic circles, NJ had tons, http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...	bobump	9	795	Sep 16, 2007 by Mandy123
	The Rollercoaster ride..... (Preview) So last week she tells me that "I Love you, I am just not in Love with you" Then she gets mad at me for not giving her a kiss goodbye in the morning when I left for work...... These are the things that make us crazy isn't it. The uncertain emotions from my AW. She is sober and goes to meetings and I...	paul123	3	644	Sep 16, 2007 by abbyal
	sometimes your HP will do for you (Preview) What you can't do yourself. My A asked to speak to me. Just grabbed me and hugged me. Said that now that she has her license it would be all better. She can do the things to make herself a better person, started talking about things she was going to do. She asked me if I would reconsider. We were both dis...	bobump	7	542	Sep 16, 2007 by Mandy123
	I messed up my computer.....sorry (Preview) I'm not sure how I did it but I deleted my sign in for MIP and I can not for the life of me remember my password so I had to start over again~ So now it shows I am a newbie...lol Hopefully one of the mods will help me retrieve it and have it sent to me. It said it sent it to me but I never got it. I want my old one back. :( S...	friendofyours4	1	334	Sep 16, 2007 by shadow1
	being authentic (Preview) Live and learn - seems I learn every thing by doing rather than hearing - the school of hard knocks! So I slept throught a weekly meeting but I went to an evening one a few days later. Then last wkend I really felt good, did well and had a good talk with A...... so I just forgot about the meeting the next morn...	ddub	3	496	Sep 16, 2007 by Mandy123
	Had a lovely evening (Preview) I had a horrible day. But I did get my butt up and took 2 friends to see a show that my best friend is in. I was supposed to go last weekend but was too depressed to move. I looked great, felt awsome, and the show was hysterical. It was The Musical of Musicals, The Musical. It was a parody of musicals. I swear I ha...	serendipity	3	430	Sep 16, 2007 by Mandy123
	how do you DETACH WITH LOVE (Preview) i keep seeing this...i already suffer from being overly clingy (child of 2 alcoholics)...how can i do this...any tricks any suggestions?	entropyart	9	688	Sep 16, 2007 by Diva
	I need to mean what I say and not say it mean when he comes home :) (Preview) Hi family, I am here because I need to vent before my hubby gets home. He went out last night and didn't come back. Nothing new, old behaviours coming back. Next Wednesday he will have been back from a 7 month stint in our county jail. about 3 weeks before he came home I asked him if he could not stay clean and...	Mandy123	3	584	Sep 16, 2007 by Karilynn
	BIG changes, and I am doing okay !!!!!!!! (Preview) Hello to My MIP Family, (((((( HUGS ))))) I know I haven't posted much, I have replied, I have taken breaks, and I have sat quietly and read. It is time for me to post......... A couple weeks ago, where I live, I heard late at night, on the scanner, that someone had found a man electricuted by a tra...	moms3	5	546	Sep 15, 2007 by ddub
	well.... (Preview) well visting mom was just fine, i think we will be fine too. the past is the past and im in recovery and there is no reason to hate her she did what she thought was right and or worked with what she had/knew.... things could have turned out much worse and they didnt so thats good enough me. i can move on. ive sto...	frazzled	2	328	Sep 15, 2007 by friendofyours4
	Back from the funeral (Preview) The church was full of Eric's friends so it was a great turnout. His parents, who he hasn't talked to in years were there. Too bad that's what had to bring them together. You could tell his father was full of grief for not talking to his son earlier. They had a few people sing and one friend of Eric's even pla...	Friendofyours	10	480	Sep 15, 2007 by friendofyours4
	healthier routines for recovery (Preview) sitting here thinking which can be dangerous that while there are daily crisis, insanity, depression, etc wouldn't it be helpful to have daily routines to be pro active using al anon tools for a good mind set rather than dig out the tools to use as needed the biggest goal to me is keeping the mind in reco...	ddub	3	686	Sep 15, 2007 by Fifi
	I need to breath.... (Preview) <deep breath in> <exxxxxhale>I told my AW yesterday afternoon that I want a divorce. It was hard for me to say those specific words. I used phrases like we are done. The marriage is done. Amazing how hard it is to say. I was wondering what would be best, one on one, or with a counselor p...	bobump	10	784	Sep 15, 2007 by Jen
	Ok I got thru court (Preview) The RO stands for me. It was modified so that he can see the kids. I did not want that as he only ever uses the kids to get to me. My lawyer is an idiot and said " It would Ok for Mr. Doofus's sister to contact her to arrange supervised visitation." I think I looked at him like he had 3 heads. Doofus ag...	serendipity	7	479	Sep 15, 2007 by moms3
	Bottomed Out (Preview) I have been playing with Al-Anon for some time now- going to meetings for short spurts, then convincing myself that I can do it on my own. That everything will turn out alright. I have been trying to do it all on my own my whole life and it hardly seems to be working. My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me fo...	tropicalrozes	4	533	Sep 14, 2007 by Friendofyours
	accepting inappropriate behavior (Preview) I think I have done this all my life. Sometimes Im not sure what it looks like. Other people say to me that they are upset by how I am treated, but Im not upset. So it makes me wonder if I am suppose to be upset. After my ex and I split for the last time. Well let me back up a bit, to be honest we have been divorced f...	binohio	4	507	Sep 14, 2007 by lin0606
	Taking a break (Preview) (((((((((MIP Family))))))))) I am finding for me that I need to take a break from this for a bit. I will see you all the end of October. Live large, Laugh long and Love deeply. love you all, lilms	lilms	5	462	Sep 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	update (Preview) Ok so I had the talk with my hubby about divorce. I spoke to him Sunday and told him I thought that this would be the best thing. He didn't get angry, just very upset. (SAD) WE talked about the house, and everything else that goes with having a divorce. It was sooo wierd. never thought that it would come to t...	sgraingermk	9	401	Sep 14, 2007 by maresie2
	Four day weekend coming up! (Preview) Well, today was a good day. I usually feel that way when I cheat on my diet and eat sugar...LOL . I have the next 4 days off and am pondering what to do with myself. I think I'm going to clean, go to a movie and if the predicted rain doesn't come go to the beach. It would be a nice change to go alone without ha...	carolinagirl	5	377	Sep 14, 2007 by QOD
	Hmmm.... something to ponder upon (Preview) ((((Family))))), Good morning! I was just skimming over hubby's new meditation book when I came across this passage. Then when I opened up my email, lo and behold here was the same reading. I'd like to share it with you. HP trying to tell me something? "Practicing tolerance Everyone has a d...	Karilynn	2	456	Sep 14, 2007 by bobump
	sad day :( (Preview) Feeling quite sad today..had to take my beloved dog Sandy of 11 yrs to the vet. She was a16yr old Shephard/Akita mix. Today was her day to pass on. She was a wonderful friend. She saw me thru many a rough day with my AH(sober now). I got her when she was 5yrs old from my sister who was moving and didn't wa...	carosie	14	696	Sep 14, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Closed threads (closed) (Preview) Hi group.... I just closed a few threads that were not about anything remotely close to why we are all here. Not taking sides or giving personal opinions on ANY of this latest controversy - let's just all get back to why we are here - to learn from each other, to grow in knowledge, to focus on our respectiv...	canadianguy	3	619	Sep 14, 2007 by Christy
	JADE (Preview) Hi I was just reviewing David's review of alanon and some abbreviations commonly used. I came across one I had not seen....JADE...justify,argue,defend,explain. My first response was" I remember my Abf accusing me of these things in every discussion"....he would be so angry that...	Fifi	7	5385	Sep 14, 2007 by bobump
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