Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...

canadianguy · canadianguy

One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...

mamalioness · mamalioness

As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...

A nother · A nother

In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...

mamalioness · mamalioness

EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am not so sure if this is related to the program in any way but I feel new car new outlook. It is true because even though I got into a car accident 6 weeks ago I feel better & more secure w a reliable car. Those of you who have been following my journey know a lot about me. It seems that because I don't how to...

Butterfly Trails · Butterfly Trails

A friend who stopped drinking over 20 years ago but who is a classic dry drunk with all the behaviours and stinking thinking had been draining me emotionally, mentally and physically for the last 5-10 years so I decided in the last year to see less of her. I decided I could carry the friendship in small do...

el-cee · el-cee

It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The chi...

A nother · A nother

Hi, this is one of the step 1 questions i'm struggling with. I would appreciate a stear if any of you could. The exact question in the paths to recovery book is, 'do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?' I think I accept that it's a disease. It certainly ha...

JerryF · JerryF

Aloha family I am in with a service work interest. I have done Public Information within our program off and on for years. Now I am back at it with renewed energy. I went shopping the other day and was scoping out the ice cream section (like ice cream) yet was noticing something I had not before which is...

Lyne · Lyne

Waiting for someday....The writer speaks of always waiting for the right day, right time, the rainy day, for others to change, etc., etc., when finally realizing that today can be the right day. Alanon helped them to see that they can make their own dreams come true by taking one small step in the dire...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... got along to the neighbouring meeting again. As a kid ah were real goody-two-shoes.... I have been to single meetings when travelling- which I have appreciated. But generally if I go to local meeting I will go to three or four at time. Going in cold... nah... it does take time to t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on self-care and what that can mean for us in recovery. The writer states that while he/she did put effort into self care, it still was with other people in mind. Only after some time in recovery was the focus truly shifted to care of self FOR the self. I a...

Walt · Walt

I attend a Book Study Group Meeting in which we read from "Discovering Choices" and then take turns sharing on the topics covered. I have been observing more and more that members are straying from the topics read in our book and then vent/dump about outside personal problems unrelated to the topics...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smileat a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at leastone thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardlysmile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my ownkindness.--Ruth FishelJu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes icemelt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility toevaporate.--Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have ofit.--unknownHere is a test to find whether your mis...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for Sept 1 , speaks of the isolation that surrounds us when our thoughts are saturated with the pain of our unsolved problems. This leads to being surrounded by the feeling of loneliness. We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading sugg...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... i am inspired by the term Tanin has held being the admin for the combined MIP groups. His timing was impeccable. he has handed over to new blood- which will rise to the occasion. In our programmes we are encouraged to hand over after a two year term- or maybe four years. Jobs like secr...

A nother · A nother

It is 4am here. My AH has been bingeing. I'm awake because he was talking loudly downstairs and woke me up. I can hear him bitching about me to his mother on the phone. He thinks I'm playing mind games. Rationally, I know I shouldn't feel hurt by anything he says when he's drunk, but this does upset me. His...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting earlier than usual as I've got plans this evening later than usual (last night of golf league + banquet), and am golfing early tomorrow. The reading for tomorrow is about changed attitudes and how they aid recovery. The author shares that their sponsor suggested gratitude lists when feelin...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...

Freetime · Freetime

This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...

SDB · SDB

After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...

Bo · Bo

While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...

mamalioness · mamalioness

In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...

Lyne · Lyne

I have an older brother who abused me in many ways, but causing me fear was his specialty from childhood into teen years. No one protected me and in many ways I feel similar to ACOA's. He is in the hospital having two heart valves repaired, one for the second time and the other one for the first time. He is...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author speaks about nagging guilt about moments when they said or did something that brought another pain that had plagued them since childhood. Step Eight offered the opportunity to release the author from this unrelenting guilt...

mamalioness · mamalioness

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hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 28 speaks of loosing our temper as a form of "Forgetting our Best Selves. It points out that by loosing our temper, judging and critiquing others and engaging n such negative activities we loose our "True selves".. The reading suggests that we embrace "who we want to b...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Each day a new beginning, today's entry YELLED at me to READ: Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive comp...

JerryF · JerryF

I may be "missing in action" for a while as I have issues in my life which need deep attention daily. One of course is the ongoing affect of my disease of enabling and co-dependency and the other the affect of a life long illegal relationship since birth. I won't explain that other than it has always b...

mamalioness · mamalioness

To ALL the travelers who post the daily readings, I just want to say "thank you" for your service and I hope to contribute here and there, and I am gonna make sure I post on EVERYONE of them as I have done of late because this sorta "gently forces" me to stay program oriented...I've been going through so man...

Jozie · Jozie

Good Moring Family.... This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me... Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play h...

Lyne · Lyne

Not my will....:The writing talks about how difficult it was to admit powerlessness and needing help from HP. After all, they came to fix the alcoholic. They learned that the first three steps were not easy, and it was important to accept, Not my will but Your will. They now strive for progress not p...

Freetime · Freetime

This reading discusses how we view our defects of character. Some defects can be traits we once needed to survive in an alcoholic situation -- like denial, control, or secrecy -- but now we find those traits do more harm than good. They are former assets that have become deficits. Some defects may be...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the amount of time many of us have spent focusing on others (attempting to control, wondering why, trying to change or influence behaviors) rather than self care and focus on our own selves. Although I have realized many times that I was putting the foc...

lookingup · lookingup

. The ODAT reading for 8/ 25th speaks about ourr tendency to react on impulse. By reacting in this manner, and saying the first thing that comes into our minds, we defeat the purpose, The reading suggests we consider the slogan" easy does it "and taking the time to stop and think. if our respon...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading compares the work of step four with gardening, and the necessity of removing old growth, roots and tangles before anything new can grow healthfully. The writer describes hitting a very stubborn tangled root while trying to clear the earth for gardening. He/...

DavidG · DavidG

Concept 3... The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. I was told this relates to all levels of leadership in Alanon. This means that a GR can go to an assembly, S/he can take the group conscience along with them... but if the circumstances changes they are entitled to change their m...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before. I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer was normally an easy-going person but when angry would suddenly fly into a rage. One day when her anger flared because her dog accidentally broke a vase, she noticed that her dog looked hurt and bewildered. By seeing the effect of her actions on her dog, she realized the effect she must be ha...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...

A nother · A nother

My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trying to Force an Outcome (Preview) Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...	tiredtonite	7	501	Sep 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Tid bits of Wisdom_07 Sept (Preview) Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...	mamalioness	1	313	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Toxic Love (Preview) One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...	canadianguy	7	463	Sep 6, 2018 by Jen61
	Courage to Change, September 5 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...	Skorpi	5	433	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 9/6/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...	Iamhere	8	367	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Unacceptable behaviour question - ESH please (Preview) I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...	Bettertomorrow	17	711	Sep 6, 2018 by canadianguy
	Tidbits of wisdom_06 Sept (Preview) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...	mamalioness	3	341	Sep 6, 2018 by hotrod
	Wish I could have met Bill (Preview) As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...	mamalioness	1	366	Sep 6, 2018 by DavidG
	I had an Al anon dream! (Preview) In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...	A nother	3	363	Sep 5, 2018 by JerryF
	ODAT Reading 9-4-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...	hotrod	11	457	Sep 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	That Higher Power guy is a pretty smart person (Preview) When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...	texas yankee	13	470	Sep 5, 2018 by nursedebbi
	Emotional Balance_12 steps & 12 traditions, p. 83 (Preview) EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...	mamalioness	2	331	Sep 4, 2018 by hotrod
	Tid bits of wisdom_04 Sep (Preview) Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...	mamalioness	6	370	Sep 4, 2018 by DavidG
	nothing to do w alanon? (Preview) I am not so sure if this is related to the program in any way but I feel new car new outlook. It is true because even though I got into a car accident 6 weeks ago I feel better & more secure w a reliable car. Those of you who have been following my journey know a lot about me. It seems that because I don't how to...	Hoot Nanny	4	444	Sep 4, 2018 by bud
	Feeling torn and guilty (Preview) A friend who stopped drinking over 20 years ago but who is a classic dry drunk with all the behaviours and stinking thinking had been draining me emotionally, mentally and physically for the last 5-10 years so I decided in the last year to see less of her. I decided I could carry the friendship in small do...	Butterfly Trails	9	420	Sep 4, 2018 by Butterfly Trails
	The miserable disease (Preview) It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The chi...	el-cee	9	450	Sep 4, 2018 by ginnyc
	Do you accept that alcoholism is a disease? (Preview) Hi, this is one of the step 1 questions i'm struggling with. I would appreciate a stear if any of you could. The exact question in the paths to recovery book is, 'do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?' I think I accept that it's a disease. It certainly ha...	A nother	15	632	Sep 4, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Service work (Preview) Aloha family I am in with a service work interest. I have done Public Information within our program off and on for years. Now I am back at it with renewed energy. I went shopping the other day and was scoping out the ice cream section (like ice cream) yet was noticing something I had not before which is...	JerryF	4	417	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C, 9/3 (Preview) Waiting for someday....The writer speaks of always waiting for the right day, right time, the rainy day, for others to change, etc., etc., when finally realizing that today can be the right day. Alanon helped them to see that they can make their own dreams come true by taking one small step in the dire...	Lyne	8	436	Sep 3, 2018 by serenity47
	Darn... got caught out... (Preview) Hi y'all... got along to the neighbouring meeting again. As a kid ah were real goody-two-shoes.... I have been to single meetings when travelling- which I have appreciated. But generally if I go to local meeting I will go to three or four at time. Going in cold... nah... it does take time to t...	DavidG	6	384	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Sept 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on self-care and what that can mean for us in recovery. The writer states that while he/she did put effort into self care, it still was with other people in mind. Only after some time in recovery was the focus truly shifted to care of self FOR the self. I a...	yanksfan51	4	412	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	Off Topic Sharing, Venting and Dumping in Book Study Meetings ( 1 2 ) Book Study Off Topic Venting Dumping Personal Sharing (Preview) I attend a Book Study Group Meeting in which we read from "Discovering Choices" and then take turns sharing on the topics covered. I have been observing more and more that members are straying from the topics read in our book and then vent/dump about outside personal problems unrelated to the topics...	Walt	41	5057	Sep 2, 2018 by Enigmatic
	some tidbits of wisdom (Preview) I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smileat a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at leastone thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardlysmile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my ownkindness.--Ruth FishelJu...	mamalioness	3	382	Sep 2, 2018 by hotrod
	Some good tidbits of wisdom (Preview) Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes icemelt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility toevaporate.--Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have ofit.--unknownHere is a test to find whether your mis...	mamalioness	6	372	Sep 2, 2018 by lookingup
	ODAT. Sept 1 (Preview) The ODAT reading for Sept 1 , speaks of the isolation that surrounds us when our thoughts are saturated with the pain of our unsolved problems. This leads to being surrounded by the feeling of loneliness. We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading sugg...	lookingup	7	396	Sep 1, 2018 by lookingup
	Grr... grr... agh... Alanon of old... (Preview) Hi y'all... i am inspired by the term Tanin has held being the admin for the combined MIP groups. His timing was impeccable. he has handed over to new blood- which will rise to the occasion. In our programmes we are encouraged to hand over after a two year term- or maybe four years. Jobs like secr...	DavidG	11	502	Sep 1, 2018 by Bo
	Detaching (Preview) It is 4am here. My AH has been bingeing. I'm awake because he was talking loudly downstairs and woke me up. I can hear him bitching about me to his mother on the phone. He thinks I'm playing mind games. Rationally, I know I shouldn't feel hurt by anything he says when he's drunk, but this does upset me. His...	A nother	7	453	Sep 1, 2018 by Lyne
	Courage to Change 8/30/18 (Preview) Posting earlier than usual as I've got plans this evening later than usual (last night of golf league + banquet), and am golfing early tomorrow. The reading for tomorrow is about changed attitudes and how they aid recovery. The author shares that their sponsor suggested gratitude lists when feelin...	Iamhere	6	427	Aug 31, 2018 by mamalioness
	Have you ever been triggered by a TV show? (Preview) I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...	PosiesandPuppies	21	651	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	ODAT - August 31 (Preview) This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...	Freetime	6	427	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	Finally drew my boundaries and stuck to them -- Steps 1-3 (Preview) After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...	SDB	23	735	Aug 31, 2018 by Neroli
	Alanon - a gentle program??? (Preview) Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...	el-cee	16	601	Aug 31, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today- August 31... (Preview) Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...	DavidG	3	338	Aug 31, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step 9 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...	hotrod	0	296	Aug 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Congruency... (Preview) While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...	Bo	22	541	Aug 30, 2018 by Bo
	Today is a new day! (Preview) I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...	PosiesandPuppies	10	408	Aug 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The important things we hear, see and do, in Alanon... (Preview) Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...	DavidG	6	395	Aug 30, 2018 by lookingup
	Interesting read about: _UNsafe People (Preview) In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...	mamalioness	4	404	Aug 30, 2018 by milkwood
	Getting Close to the Edge (Preview) Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...	Paloma Negra	7	517	Aug 29, 2018 by mamalioness
	The things Alanon has taught me (Preview) I have an older brother who abused me in many ways, but causing me fear was his specialty from childhood into teen years. No one protected me and in many ways I feel similar to ACOA's. He is in the hospital having two heart valves repaired, one for the second time and the other one for the first time. He is...	Lyne	11	439	Aug 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change August 29 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author speaks about nagging guilt about moments when they said or did something that brought another pain that had plagued them since childhood. Step Eight offered the opportunity to release the author from this unrelenting guilt...	Skorpi	4	365	Aug 29, 2018 by mamalioness
	I hope you all can get something out of this (Preview) *********************************************************I	mamalioness	7	389	Aug 29, 2018 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 8-28 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 28 speaks of loosing our temper as a form of "Forgetting our Best Selves. It points out that by loosing our temper, judging and critiquing others and engaging n such negative activities we loose our "True selves".. The reading suggests that we embrace "who we want to b...	hotrod	3	405	Aug 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	Each day a new beginning_08/27 (Preview) Each day a new beginning, today's entry YELLED at me to READ: Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive comp...	mamalioness	13	478	Aug 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	In consideration (Preview) I may be "missing in action" for a while as I have issues in my life which need deep attention daily. One of course is the ongoing affect of my disease of enabling and co-dependency and the other the affect of a life long illegal relationship since birth. I won't explain that other than it has always b...	JerryF	17	691	Aug 28, 2018 by Paloma Negra
	Just saying thank you and , yea, some reflections!!! (Preview) To ALL the travelers who post the daily readings, I just want to say "thank you" for your service and I hope to contribute here and there, and I am gonna make sure I post on EVERYONE of them as I have done of late because this sorta "gently forces" me to stay program oriented...I've been going through so man...	mamalioness	2	389	Aug 27, 2018 by DavidG
	a Whirlwind of a Week... (Preview) Good Moring Family.... This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me... Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play h...	Jozie	5	633	Aug 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 8/27 (Preview) Not my will....:The writing talks about how difficult it was to admit powerlessness and needing help from HP. After all, they came to fix the alcoholic. They learned that the first three steps were not easy, and it was important to accept, Not my will but Your will. They now strive for progress not p...	Lyne	4	369	Aug 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 8/17 (Preview) This reading discusses how we view our defects of character. Some defects can be traits we once needed to survive in an alcoholic situation -- like denial, control, or secrecy -- but now we find those traits do more harm than good. They are former assets that have become deficits. Some defects may be...	Freetime	12	651	Aug 26, 2018 by DavidG
	Hope for Today Aug 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the amount of time many of us have spent focusing on others (attempting to control, wondering why, trying to change or influence behaviors) rather than self care and focus on our own selves. Although I have realized many times that I was putting the foc...	yanksfan51	8	550	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	odat 8/25 (Preview) . The ODAT reading for 8/ 25th speaks about ourr tendency to react on impulse. By reacting in this manner, and saying the first thing that comes into our minds, we defeat the purpose, The reading suggests we consider the slogan" easy does it "and taking the time to stop and think. if our respon...	lookingup	5	654	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today August 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading compares the work of step four with gardening, and the necessity of removing old growth, roots and tangles before anything new can grow healthfully. The writer describes hitting a very stubborn tangled root while trying to clear the earth for gardening. He/...	yanksfan51	6	468	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	Alanon Concept 3... (Preview) Concept 3... The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. I was told this relates to all levels of leadership in Alanon. This means that a GR can go to an assembly, S/he can take the group conscience along with them... but if the circumstances changes they are entitled to change their m...	DavidG	4	796	Aug 26, 2018 by hotrod
	The gift of recovery... (Preview) Hi y'all, I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before. I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!...	DavidG	8	552	Aug 26, 2018 by hotrod
	C2C 8/24 (Preview) The writer was normally an easy-going person but when angry would suddenly fly into a rage. One day when her anger flared because her dog accidentally broke a vase, she noticed that her dog looked hurt and bewildered. By seeing the effect of her actions on her dog, she realized the effect she must be ha...	Freetime	8	508	Aug 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	replacing alcohol with depression? (Preview) Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...	Fedora	14	670	Aug 24, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 8/23/19 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...	Iamhere	6	439	Aug 23, 2018 by mamalioness
	Illogical expectations? (Preview) My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...	A nother	20	824	Aug 23, 2018 by Maresie
	Unemployment (Preview) Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...	Surfergirl	14	513	Aug 23, 2018 by Surfergirl
	The Fear Has Past, but the Love Remains... UPDATE... (Preview) Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...	Jozie	8	529	Aug 23, 2018 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.