Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...

Freetime · Freetime

This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...

SDB · SDB

After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...

Bo · Bo

While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...

mamalioness · mamalioness

In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...

Lyne · Lyne

I have an older brother who abused me in many ways, but causing me fear was his specialty from childhood into teen years. No one protected me and in many ways I feel similar to ACOA's. He is in the hospital having two heart valves repaired, one for the second time and the other one for the first time. He is...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author speaks about nagging guilt about moments when they said or did something that brought another pain that had plagued them since childhood. Step Eight offered the opportunity to release the author from this unrelenting guilt...

mamalioness · mamalioness

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hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 28 speaks of loosing our temper as a form of "Forgetting our Best Selves. It points out that by loosing our temper, judging and critiquing others and engaging n such negative activities we loose our "True selves".. The reading suggests that we embrace "who we want to b...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Each day a new beginning, today's entry YELLED at me to READ: Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive comp...

JerryF · JerryF

I may be "missing in action" for a while as I have issues in my life which need deep attention daily. One of course is the ongoing affect of my disease of enabling and co-dependency and the other the affect of a life long illegal relationship since birth. I won't explain that other than it has always b...

mamalioness · mamalioness

To ALL the travelers who post the daily readings, I just want to say "thank you" for your service and I hope to contribute here and there, and I am gonna make sure I post on EVERYONE of them as I have done of late because this sorta "gently forces" me to stay program oriented...I've been going through so man...

Jozie · Jozie

Good Moring Family.... This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me... Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play h...

Lyne · Lyne

Not my will....:The writing talks about how difficult it was to admit powerlessness and needing help from HP. After all, they came to fix the alcoholic. They learned that the first three steps were not easy, and it was important to accept, Not my will but Your will. They now strive for progress not p...

Freetime · Freetime

This reading discusses how we view our defects of character. Some defects can be traits we once needed to survive in an alcoholic situation -- like denial, control, or secrecy -- but now we find those traits do more harm than good. They are former assets that have become deficits. Some defects may be...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the amount of time many of us have spent focusing on others (attempting to control, wondering why, trying to change or influence behaviors) rather than self care and focus on our own selves. Although I have realized many times that I was putting the foc...

lookingup · lookingup

. The ODAT reading for 8/ 25th speaks about ourr tendency to react on impulse. By reacting in this manner, and saying the first thing that comes into our minds, we defeat the purpose, The reading suggests we consider the slogan" easy does it "and taking the time to stop and think. if our respon...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading compares the work of step four with gardening, and the necessity of removing old growth, roots and tangles before anything new can grow healthfully. The writer describes hitting a very stubborn tangled root while trying to clear the earth for gardening. He/...

DavidG · DavidG

Concept 3... The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. I was told this relates to all levels of leadership in Alanon. This means that a GR can go to an assembly, S/he can take the group conscience along with them... but if the circumstances changes they are entitled to change their m...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before. I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer was normally an easy-going person but when angry would suddenly fly into a rage. One day when her anger flared because her dog accidentally broke a vase, she noticed that her dog looked hurt and bewildered. By seeing the effect of her actions on her dog, she realized the effect she must be ha...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...

A nother · A nother

My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...

growing · growing

Hi all. I've been working my fourth step in Blueprints for Progress. On p. 16 under Self-Worth: My Own Standards, the question asks, What are my limitations and do I accept them? What is meant by limitations in this case? What is your interpretation? I was thinking character defects such as being i...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life! The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also s...

A nother · A nother

Hi, so I am struggling with this one and could do with your experience. Prior to all my rubbish with ah, we would usually share a bottle of wine on a Friday night (normally the only time I drink). Since I came home from my awful holiday I haven't had a drink at all because I haven't wanted to. My husband has b...

JerryF · JerryF

For me that doesn't work anymore and I'll tell you why. When I got into Al-Anon there was me with my stinking thinking attitude and major EGO smart ass attitude and my loud commanding act out and plain old "dumb as a stick" presence. I didn't know and didn't know anything; not even the basics or anyt...

Aloha · Aloha

If you find yourself with the time, a friend in the program's daughter is in critical condition in the hospital with a head injury - sounding like it could have been a fall or domestic violence where alcohol was involved. Her daughter's name is Sairee. Thank you so much.

Lyne · Lyne

Self-acceptance: The writer talks about their change from black and white thinking, to realizing that they don't have to do better or differently and they are not necessarily wrong! They are learning that their best is good enough, and they do not have to struggle to constantly fix themself. Toda...

hotrod · hotrod

Transition To New MIP Admin/Webmaster - Reply OnlyThis subforum is for the discussion and consideration of the service position of admin/webmaster. All interested MIP members may participate in the discussions. Please check the posting from Tanin at this new Board. Please see the thread...

Anon111 · Anon111

Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum, and read more posts than I've written myself, but am struggling to come to terms with past events that my AH has put me through. To give some background, I have 2 children (now 4 and 2) and from about the time of my first son's birth, my husband's stress levels s...

WestMan · WestMan

The onslaught continues and I keep reminding myself that my attitude makes the difference in how I feel throughout this period, how well I learn from it and how I impact those around me. But boy-oh-boy does it just seem like are the stressors just piling up. Just as a sample my father and my ExAW's brothe...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for August 18 speaks about ourr tendency to review the past and remember the worst possible things that someone has done. We do this so we can polish our own halos in this process. That sentence made me smile as I can readily identify with" polishing my Halo" The reading suggest...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Well, I got my daughter out of the dangerous inner city/hood location where she was homeless so I guess that is the only good part to this update. I got her an Airbnb for the night before she could take the train out of town. The Airbnb agreed to a third party reservation but BOY were they mad after daughter...

JerryF · JerryF

Picked my Al-Anon wife up at the airport last evening. She had been gone for 3 months and left me to the care of our MIP family and the rest of life as life is. I not only missed her looks and missed the sound of her voice and her mannerisms which caused me to smile and say "Sheeeees back" as parts of who she i...

mamalioness · mamalioness

my brother "R" called me....WHAT a story he had for me!!! He is a marine engineer and goes out on these big boats doing sea trials, etc., testing out new radar, communication and other equipment he installs on them..Its nothing for NOAA to fly him out to their big weather boats to "fix something" Even t...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, asking for feedback from group shares. I am having a crack at re-starting a group in my home town. I believe that I an a natural victim- of the disease- but I do not have to be a martyr. All I have to do is to give it my best shot. The city south of here has four meetings. The biggest one had 15 o...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am going to a work reunion, seeing people I haven't seen in 30 yrs. Many folks are bringing their spouses. Because (so far) I have chosen to stay with a dry drunk, I didn't even invite her. Although she has good attributes and is not acting alcoholic all of the time, she is also passive aggressi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had a good laugh at myself today some things are FINALLY getting straightened out at work .. I realize I am not the easiest person all of the time however again .. I get super tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it .. pretty much I call people out where I see it and ask if my perception...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow is about First things First, self care and choosing wisely. There does not seem to be enough time in a day during stressful times. We might be tempted to miss a meal, push ourselves to exhaustion and just generally ignore our basic needs. In reality, it's during these tryin...

A nother · A nother

He's gone to the pub again. I've been working so hard to get better at this, I fully accept that I am powerless over alcohol. I'm acting as if it's fine that he's gone to the pub on his own again, but I'm sooo anxious! I've written my diary, gone through the questions in step 1. But now he is on the grog again I'...

luv123 · luv123

We just recently went through a death of a close young loved one. I feel sad. This sadness is also bringing up some other losses and impending losses (went to visit my last living aunt yesterday and she has some major health issues and it is hard to see her looking so fragile---the fragility and uncertai...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author shares that, after living with the chaos of an alcoholic relationship, it can be hard to tell if something is a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. Asking "How important is it?" helps the author d...

uhohcheerio · uhohcheerio

My boyfriend had agreed to stop drinking around me. He did this and I appreciated it a lot. But I knew he was drinking when not around me. I didnt worry too much about that: I went to alanon and he respected my boundaries. But i think that his not drinking around me while not being ready to actually quit caus...

A nother · A nother

This was the subject of the meeting I went to yesterday. I haven't been focusing on one day at a time, but after listening to others in the group yesterday I think I get it. I get so angry about past ''wrongs", and so overwhelmed about what I have coming (selling the house, telling the children we are sepa...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today, 8-14 speaks about the alcoholic finally hitting hiss bottom and reaching for recovery. This reading points out that in the beginning it is extremely important to embrace the fact that both partners in the marriage have been affected by this disease and need a program o...

Jozie · Jozie

I have been in this Program long enough to know that Swimming in Fear is Never a Good thing, but Here I am... Some Know the first 18 years of my life, I Grew up in a Small One Horse town in Eastern US, Well when you live in such a small area, your family grows ten fold by the Time you hit 18, I have a Friend that I hav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this short because I am in a lot of pain. I have been struggling w an autoimmune condition for years. It has been so difficult but I don't think I mentioned it on here. It makes it hard to live one day at a time. I have been hanging out trying to keep my sanity. I know there are many others who are in wo...

JerryF · JerryF

I thought I had posted about this over the years and then all of my prior post have been eliminated as if I never existed...what a wish heh? I use to work as a BHT, Behavioral Health Therapist in a Recovery Program that gave service to individual addicts and alcoholics and their families; group and on...

A nother · A nother

Ah is at the second wedding today. Whilst picking flowers in the garden my 7 year old paused and said, '' I hope daddy doesn't get drunk today, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does'. My heart stopped and there was a pause and then she said, ''but if he does I won't tell him off. He can't help it.' then she wan...

A nother · A nother

I know we've talked about this before but I'm still really struggling to be around ah. I can't think of a thing to say. I asked him how the wedding was, but as he told me I felt that familiar anger welling up inside. So far today we have talked at length about the weather, about the food shopping and about wha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Have you ever been triggered by a TV show? (Preview) I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...	PosiesandPuppies	21	612	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	ODAT - August 31 (Preview) This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...	Freetime	6	400	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	Finally drew my boundaries and stuck to them -- Steps 1-3 (Preview) After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...	SDB	23	697	Aug 31, 2018 by Neroli
	Alanon - a gentle program??? (Preview) Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...	el-cee	16	559	Aug 31, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today- August 31... (Preview) Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...	DavidG	3	304	Aug 31, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step 9 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...	hotrod	0	276	Aug 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Congruency... (Preview) While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...	Bo	22	512	Aug 30, 2018 by Bo
	Today is a new day! (Preview) I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...	PosiesandPuppies	10	385	Aug 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The important things we hear, see and do, in Alanon... (Preview) Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...	DavidG	6	356	Aug 30, 2018 by lookingup
	Interesting read about: _UNsafe People (Preview) In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...	mamalioness	4	382	Aug 30, 2018 by milkwood
	Getting Close to the Edge (Preview) Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...	Paloma Negra	7	484	Aug 29, 2018 by mamalioness
	The things Alanon has taught me (Preview) I have an older brother who abused me in many ways, but causing me fear was his specialty from childhood into teen years. No one protected me and in many ways I feel similar to ACOA's. He is in the hospital having two heart valves repaired, one for the second time and the other one for the first time. He is...	Lyne	11	417	Aug 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change August 29 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author speaks about nagging guilt about moments when they said or did something that brought another pain that had plagued them since childhood. Step Eight offered the opportunity to release the author from this unrelenting guilt...	Skorpi	4	336	Aug 29, 2018 by mamalioness
	I hope you all can get something out of this (Preview) *********************************************************I	mamalioness	7	339	Aug 29, 2018 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 8-28 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 28 speaks of loosing our temper as a form of "Forgetting our Best Selves. It points out that by loosing our temper, judging and critiquing others and engaging n such negative activities we loose our "True selves".. The reading suggests that we embrace "who we want to b...	hotrod	3	375	Aug 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	Each day a new beginning_08/27 (Preview) Each day a new beginning, today's entry YELLED at me to READ: Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive comp...	mamalioness	13	428	Aug 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	In consideration (Preview) I may be "missing in action" for a while as I have issues in my life which need deep attention daily. One of course is the ongoing affect of my disease of enabling and co-dependency and the other the affect of a life long illegal relationship since birth. I won't explain that other than it has always b...	JerryF	17	659	Aug 28, 2018 by Paloma Negra
	Just saying thank you and , yea, some reflections!!! (Preview) To ALL the travelers who post the daily readings, I just want to say "thank you" for your service and I hope to contribute here and there, and I am gonna make sure I post on EVERYONE of them as I have done of late because this sorta "gently forces" me to stay program oriented...I've been going through so man...	mamalioness	2	346	Aug 27, 2018 by DavidG
	a Whirlwind of a Week... (Preview) Good Moring Family.... This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me... Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play h...	Jozie	5	610	Aug 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 8/27 (Preview) Not my will....:The writing talks about how difficult it was to admit powerlessness and needing help from HP. After all, they came to fix the alcoholic. They learned that the first three steps were not easy, and it was important to accept, Not my will but Your will. They now strive for progress not p...	Lyne	4	351	Aug 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 8/17 (Preview) This reading discusses how we view our defects of character. Some defects can be traits we once needed to survive in an alcoholic situation -- like denial, control, or secrecy -- but now we find those traits do more harm than good. They are former assets that have become deficits. Some defects may be...	Freetime	12	582	Aug 26, 2018 by DavidG
	Hope for Today Aug 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the amount of time many of us have spent focusing on others (attempting to control, wondering why, trying to change or influence behaviors) rather than self care and focus on our own selves. Although I have realized many times that I was putting the foc...	yanksfan51	8	517	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	odat 8/25 (Preview) . The ODAT reading for 8/ 25th speaks about ourr tendency to react on impulse. By reacting in this manner, and saying the first thing that comes into our minds, we defeat the purpose, The reading suggests we consider the slogan" easy does it "and taking the time to stop and think. if our respon...	lookingup	5	626	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today August 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading compares the work of step four with gardening, and the necessity of removing old growth, roots and tangles before anything new can grow healthfully. The writer describes hitting a very stubborn tangled root while trying to clear the earth for gardening. He/...	yanksfan51	6	412	Aug 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	Alanon Concept 3... (Preview) Concept 3... The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. I was told this relates to all levels of leadership in Alanon. This means that a GR can go to an assembly, S/he can take the group conscience along with them... but if the circumstances changes they are entitled to change their m...	DavidG	4	739	Aug 26, 2018 by hotrod
	The gift of recovery... (Preview) Hi y'all, I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before. I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!...	DavidG	8	518	Aug 26, 2018 by hotrod
	C2C 8/24 (Preview) The writer was normally an easy-going person but when angry would suddenly fly into a rage. One day when her anger flared because her dog accidentally broke a vase, she noticed that her dog looked hurt and bewildered. By seeing the effect of her actions on her dog, she realized the effect she must be ha...	Freetime	8	477	Aug 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	replacing alcohol with depression? (Preview) Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...	Fedora	14	644	Aug 24, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 8/23/19 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...	Iamhere	6	421	Aug 23, 2018 by mamalioness
	Illogical expectations? (Preview) My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...	A nother	20	789	Aug 23, 2018 by Maresie
	Unemployment (Preview) Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...	Surfergirl	14	466	Aug 23, 2018 by Surfergirl
	The Fear Has Past, but the Love Remains... UPDATE... (Preview) Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...	Jozie	8	496	Aug 23, 2018 by Jozie
	Blueprints for Progress - limitations (Preview) Hi all. I've been working my fourth step in Blueprints for Progress. On p. 16 under Self-Worth: My Own Standards, the question asks, What are my limitations and do I accept them? What is meant by limitations in this case? What is your interpretation? I was thinking character defects such as being i...	growing	7	572	Aug 22, 2018 by growing
	Courage to Change August 22 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life! The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also s...	Skorpi	5	328	Aug 22, 2018 by Aline
	Drinking with someone with a drink problem?? (Preview) Hi, so I am struggling with this one and could do with your experience. Prior to all my rubbish with ah, we would usually share a bottle of wine on a Friday night (normally the only time I drink). Since I came home from my awful holiday I haven't had a drink at all because I haven't wanted to. My husband has b...	A nother	15	566	Aug 22, 2018 by sunmustshine
	Higher Power as a "He".... (Preview) For me that doesn't work anymore and I'll tell you why. When I got into Al-Anon there was me with my stinking thinking attitude and major EGO smart ass attitude and my loud commanding act out and plain old "dumb as a stick" presence. I didn't know and didn't know anything; not even the basics or anyt...	JerryF	17	831	Aug 21, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Prayers needed (Preview) If you find yourself with the time, a friend in the program's daughter is in critical condition in the hospital with a head injury - sounding like it could have been a fall or domestic violence where alcohol was involved. Her daughter's name is Sairee. Thank you so much.	Aloha	27	728	Aug 20, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 8/20 (Preview) Self-acceptance: The writer talks about their change from black and white thinking, to realizing that they don't have to do better or differently and they are not necessarily wrong! They are learning that their best is good enough, and they do not have to struggle to constantly fix themself. Toda...	Lyne	4	423	Aug 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Please check out the new Board (Preview) Transition To New MIP Admin/Webmaster - Reply OnlyThis subforum is for the discussion and consideration of the service position of admin/webmaster. All interested MIP members may participate in the discussions. Please check the posting from Tanin at this new Board. Please see the thread...	hotrod	0	493	Aug 20, 2018 by hotrod
	Struggling to get over the trauma and fully forgive (Preview) Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum, and read more posts than I've written myself, but am struggling to come to terms with past events that my AH has put me through. To give some background, I have 2 children (now 4 and 2) and from about the time of my first son's birth, my husband's stress levels s...	Anon111	13	656	Aug 20, 2018 by milkwood
	I could sure use the prayers this next week. (Preview) The onslaught continues and I keep reminding myself that my attitude makes the difference in how I feel throughout this period, how well I learn from it and how I impact those around me. But boy-oh-boy does it just seem like are the stressors just piling up. Just as a sample my father and my ExAW's brothe...	WestMan	27	602	Aug 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT,,August 18. (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 18 speaks about ourr tendency to review the past and remember the worst possible things that someone has done. We do this so we can polish our own halos in this process. That sentence made me smile as I can readily identify with" polishing my Halo" The reading suggest...	lookingup	8	349	Aug 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Problem child update ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well, I got my daughter out of the dangerous inner city/hood location where she was homeless so I guess that is the only good part to this update. I got her an Airbnb for the night before she could take the train out of town. The Airbnb agreed to a third party reservation but BOY were they mad after daughter...	RachelsMom	51	1773	Aug 18, 2018 by Aline
	Blessed....Just Blessed (Preview) Picked my Al-Anon wife up at the airport last evening. She had been gone for 3 months and left me to the care of our MIP family and the rest of life as life is. I not only missed her looks and missed the sound of her voice and her mannerisms which caused me to smile and say "Sheeeees back" as parts of who she i...	JerryF	12	530	Aug 18, 2018 by Aline
	well the older one is FOUND!!!!!! what a RELIEF!!!! (Preview) my brother "R" called me....WHAT a story he had for me!!! He is a marine engineer and goes out on these big boats doing sea trials, etc., testing out new radar, communication and other equipment he installs on them..Its nothing for NOAA to fly him out to their big weather boats to "fix something" Even t...	mamalioness	24	546	Aug 18, 2018 by mamalioness
	Giving Alanon my best shot... (Preview) Hi y'all, asking for feedback from group shares. I am having a crack at re-starting a group in my home town. I believe that I an a natural victim- of the disease- but I do not have to be a martyr. All I have to do is to give it my best shot. The city south of here has four meetings. The biggest one had 15 o...	DavidG	15	478	Aug 18, 2018 by DavidG
	Down side of staying with my A (Preview) Today I am going to a work reunion, seeing people I haven't seen in 30 yrs. Many folks are bringing their spouses. Because (so far) I have chosen to stay with a dry drunk, I didn't even invite her. Although she has good attributes and is not acting alcoholic all of the time, she is also passive aggressi...	Lyne	10	653	Aug 17, 2018 by el-cee
	Darkly Amusing .. (Preview) So I had a good laugh at myself today some things are FINALLY getting straightened out at work .. I realize I am not the easiest person all of the time however again .. I get super tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it .. pretty much I call people out where I see it and ask if my perception...	SerenityRUS	2	552	Aug 16, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 8/16/19 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow is about First things First, self care and choosing wisely. There does not seem to be enough time in a day during stressful times. We might be tempted to miss a meal, push ourselves to exhaustion and just generally ignore our basic needs. In reality, it's during these tryin...	Iamhere	6	678	Aug 16, 2018 by Iamhere
	Why am I going round in circles??! (Preview) He's gone to the pub again. I've been working so hard to get better at this, I fully accept that I am powerless over alcohol. I'm acting as if it's fine that he's gone to the pub on his own again, but I'm sooo anxious! I've written my diary, gone through the questions in step 1. But now he is on the grog again I'...	A nother	12	584	Aug 16, 2018 by lookingup
	On NOT fixing myself or others (Preview) We just recently went through a death of a close young loved one. I feel sad. This sadness is also bringing up some other losses and impending losses (went to visit my last living aunt yesterday and she has some major health issues and it is hard to see her looking so fragile---the fragility and uncertai...	luv123	6	443	Aug 16, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change August 15, 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author shares that, after living with the chaos of an alcoholic relationship, it can be hard to tell if something is a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. Asking "How important is it?" helps the author d...	Skorpi	5	479	Aug 15, 2018 by mamalioness
	He gets so angry and then gets drunk and tells me he loves me and is sorry (Preview) My boyfriend had agreed to stop drinking around me. He did this and I appreciated it a lot. But I knew he was drinking when not around me. I didnt worry too much about that: I went to alanon and he respected my boundaries. But i think that his not drinking around me while not being ready to actually quit caus...	uhohcheerio	12	509	Aug 14, 2018 by milkwood
	One day at a time (Preview) This was the subject of the meeting I went to yesterday. I haven't been focusing on one day at a time, but after listening to others in the group yesterday I think I get it. I get so angry about past ''wrongs", and so overwhelmed about what I have coming (selling the house, telling the children we are sepa...	A nother	8	533	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	ODAT reading 8-14 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today, 8-14 speaks about the alcoholic finally hitting hiss bottom and reaching for recovery. This reading points out that in the beginning it is extremely important to embrace the fact that both partners in the marriage have been affected by this disease and need a program o...	hotrod	8	477	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	Stuck in Fear... Of that I Can't Control... (Preview) I have been in this Program long enough to know that Swimming in Fear is Never a Good thing, but Here I am... Some Know the first 18 years of my life, I Grew up in a Small One Horse town in Eastern US, Well when you live in such a small area, your family grows ten fold by the Time you hit 18, I have a Friend that I hav...	Jozie	15	665	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	in a lot of pain... (Preview) I will make this short because I am in a lot of pain. I have been struggling w an autoimmune condition for years. It has been so difficult but I don't think I mentioned it on here. It makes it hard to live one day at a time. I have been hanging out trying to keep my sanity. I know there are many others who are in wo...	Hoot Nanny	3	351	Aug 14, 2018 by WestMan
	Behavioral Health Counseling (Preview) I thought I had posted about this over the years and then all of my prior post have been eliminated as if I never existed...what a wish heh? I use to work as a BHT, Behavioral Health Therapist in a Recovery Program that gave service to individual addicts and alcoholics and their families; group and on...	JerryF	30	722	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	My 7 year old has more insight than me! (Preview) Ah is at the second wedding today. Whilst picking flowers in the garden my 7 year old paused and said, '' I hope daddy doesn't get drunk today, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does'. My heart stopped and there was a pause and then she said, ''but if he does I won't tell him off. He can't help it.' then she wan...	A nother	11	484	Aug 13, 2018 by Bo
	Living in silence is killing me! (Preview) I know we've talked about this before but I'm still really struggling to be around ah. I can't think of a thing to say. I asked him how the wedding was, but as he told me I felt that familiar anger welling up inside. So far today we have talked at length about the weather, about the food shopping and about wha...	A nother	14	567	Aug 13, 2018 by Bo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.