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The Choice to Drink
(Preview)
I'm spinning this off of another thread, where someone mentioned that their A said they drank by choice, not by compulsion.... I stuggled with that for many years, long before I went to AA. Deep down, I knew I had many symptoms of alcoholism. But I believed that "real" alcoholics drank co...
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barisax
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7
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627
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The pity potty...
(Preview)
Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?) Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty. I sat there thin...
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Jerry F
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12
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889
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Breaks my heart!
(Preview)
My 10 yr old daughter absolutely adores her father. She is his greatest defender and protector. She is also one who likes to know exactly what is happening in her life. The limbo we have been in regarding impending divorce is torturing her. She has been begging for months now just to have some resolu...
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Loupiness
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7
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363
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Why its so hard to put ourselves first...?
(Preview)
I have been thinking that one of the reasons why its so hard for me to put myself first is because I was born and raised watching the A's in my life do the same thing through their disease/addiction. I have found this so abhorrent, this inability of them to see that they put their alcohol/drugs/whatever f...
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Jean4444
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7
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644
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The Serenity Prayer... with notations from me...
(Preview)
The Serenity Prayer by Reinold Niebuhr. Interpretation/understanding/perceptions - just one take on the meaning behind the words - not suggesting anyone else should interpret/understand/perceive this prayer as I do, I just thought I would share my perspective with you. by Heartbroken. God gr...
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Heartbroken
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3
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470
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my own marriage
(Preview)
I have spent today pacing and asking my HP to stop me from any action. So far I haven't done a thing. No phone ringing, but I wasn't going to answer anyway. Final call today from son was "she (His EX) is threatening to call sherriff on me" and he hung up. I hope he isn't in a cell right now because sh...
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omajoy
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2
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548
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I feel like I'm becoming the monster
(Preview)
My therapist has been recommending that I attend al anon meetings for sometime now, but with my one and a half year old and my full time university experience i find myself with little free time. I have been with my partner for a little over two years and emotionally and mentally i find myself giving up....
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wahineal
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6
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716
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Catching Myself 'Mothering' my AH
(Preview)
I was wondering if any of you have this same challenge to overcome: Mothering your A. I'm separated from my recovering AH, although we see each other on weekends (usually). We have two grown children, both in their early 30s. I have no difficulty not giving them unsolicited advice. For example, o...
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stormie
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8
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596
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where's Debilyn?
(Preview)
Hey, you, if you are reading this please send a sign! Hugs, missing your thoughts/words, J.
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Jean4444
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1
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283
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drama making me sicker this morning
(Preview)
As I type, I am fighting just collaspsing. If anyone is on-line right now and can give me some help, please I need it. Our family drama with EXDIL, son has escalated into nasty communication between them. Son is angry with me as well because I try to talk sense into him. He is frantic that he's seen son onl...
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omajoy
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5
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510
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Round and Round he goes
(Preview)
where he stops.....nobody knows. Nothing like the silent treatment for two days followed by a day of an engaged and semi-helpful spouse who decided to talk to me today. He thanked me for reaching out to him, and my response was "I know it wasn't me"...which set him into another "pen...
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optimistundone
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3
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514
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the interview
(Preview)
i went for the interview on Friday and I felt it went well. I could have done better on some questions but I think I did pretty well overall. I hope I manage to get in there. My current job is up in the air. They are looking for someone but they expect me to stick around for ever for that. I am not willing to. I'v...
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maresie
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2
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318
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I'm Guilty
(Preview)
I'm guilty of letting him drive when I know he's drunk. Is it something I could be convicted of? Am I legally obligated to call the police? What if he killed somebody, and I told the police...yeah, he was really drunk. I should have stopped him. I thought about it. I had oppertunities. He wouldn't hav...
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RainyJamie
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17
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625
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Wow...I am so humbled by your kindness and candor...
(Preview)
Thank you all so very much for your heartfelt honesty and warm welcome. You truly made me feel welcome and comfortable - in such a way that I haven't felt in years.
As I'm sure you all know - having kids can change your life. Being involved with an alcoholic changes it further. Separating from or divorc...
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mrcjschu
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5
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2704
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Birthday Report!
(Preview)
I have had an unbelievable birthday. I went on a date for lunch with a guy I met online and he FLEW in to take me out. He shows up with a dozen roses. Come to find out he's a millionaire. And then he buys me a new GPS as a gift. On the first date. I'm a little wary but being glad for today going so well and as so...
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carolinagirl
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9
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392
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Being Somebody
(Preview)
After reading carolinagirl's post about being shunned by her co-workers, it made me reflect on my life and how I perceived myself and my friends over the years. I was a supreme loner as a teenager. I had no really true friends in high school. I talked to people plenty, about all kinds of stuff, but had n...
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barisax
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3
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360
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Omnia Vincit Amor
(Preview)
My AH and I have not spoken in 11 days, except a couple of sentences about my car which needed repair. All he does is drink. However, after not talking or eating meals together or ANYTHING he did fix steaks for supper Sunday night. We didn't talk, and I didn't know he was fixing supper, but he did. I miss m...
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Becky1
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7
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2226
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Conflict with family
(Preview)
I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...
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Mariedl05
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7
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498
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I did it! I went to my first f2f!!!
(Preview)
I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...
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desperate for help
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7
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688
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self love
(Preview)
I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...
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Jean4444
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5
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575
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new here....
(Preview)
Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......
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tma0413
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7
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543
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Thank you for sharing my burden
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...
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concerned123
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5
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576
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My stepson asked me
(Preview)
if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...
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Lost but still trying
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5
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611
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Hello - I'm new here...
(Preview)
My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...
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mrcjschu
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9
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644
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saving my own life rather than his life.
(Preview)
For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...
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maresie
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1
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695
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AH told me he's going to drink
(Preview)
After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...
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Chetch
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11
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626
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Isolation
(Preview)
As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...
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maresie
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1
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372
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HELLO
(Preview)
i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...
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wantneeda
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4
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553
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Loss of hope
(Preview)
Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...
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bluecrow
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2
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377
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Cravings disappeared
(Preview)
For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...
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maresie
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4
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264
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What's new...
(Preview)
Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...
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kikgirl517
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5
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432
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Feeling alot of anxiety!
(Preview)
Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...
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desperate for help
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4
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551
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Over involvement.
(Preview)
I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...
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maresie
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4
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516
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I hear y'all
(Preview)
So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...
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serendipity
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3
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322
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Still having problems with myself and my kids
(Preview)
So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...
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carolinagirl
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8
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799
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prayers needed interview tomorrow afternoon.
(Preview)
the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...
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maresie
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4
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703
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So Much Death, But New Life
(Preview)
This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...
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Becky1
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5
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509
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Why did this happen?
(Preview)
I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...
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serendipity
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9
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579
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Please Help!
(Preview)
I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...
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concerned123
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6
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570
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I am looking for words of wisdom
(Preview)
My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...
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cindy1359
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12
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427
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stuffing the drama
(Preview)
I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...
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omajoy
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8
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598
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PRACTICE DETACHMENT
(Preview)
Thought you would like this: What happens as we practice detachment more and more: "As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean? It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mea...
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Lani
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3
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369
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song-One day at a Time
(Preview)
Have you heard the new song by the Eagles? It's called One day at a Time. ENJOY! LIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A
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afglin
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2
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269
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moving away from rather than towards
(Preview)
One of the core components of my codependency is feeling stuck and not having good boundaries. I have a room mate as you all know who orchestrated his firing in December. He really played a good number on being shocked the job he was in fired him after he took time off when he was told that was no leave. He...
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maresie
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1
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460
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"Family" members...
(Preview)
Look...Look! The MIP family now numbers over 4000. Amazing!! Diva
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Diva
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7
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403
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Wedding Anniversary
(Preview)
Its my wedding anniversary today and I need your prayers and good thoughts. Its just so sad. My wedding day really was one of the happiest days of my life. It really was. But its like I bought a ticket to Paris, France and ended up in Paris, TX. somehow. Or worse. I know this is about my expectations again, a...
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Jean4444
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10
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425
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Owning my reactions...
(Preview)
really trying to get to grips with old habits and old responses and learning to own my reactions. The further I walk down this path of recovery the more courage I seem to be picking up. To date I have owned a number of reactions that I now see as being OTT or unhealthy or just plain fear-based or learned reac...
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Heartbroken
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1
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391
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Am I being mean?
(Preview)
Alot of stuff has happened in the last two weeks with AH. It has gotten to the point that I just can handle it anymore. He gave excuse after excuse why he drinks. Finally i told him that he had to choose bewteen his family or the alcohol. I gave him time to think about this. I told him that he if chooses to...
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desperate for help
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20
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641
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January Business Meeting Minutes:
(Preview)
January Business Meeting Minutes MIP January Business Meeting Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer. 1st thing on agenda is the current OP Schedule,which was posted. Discussion on empty chairperson slots were discussed. General responsibilities and requirements of chairing an...
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serenity62
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0
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277
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Overcome or Accept?
(Preview)
Sometimes I have really strong "how did I get this serenity?" days. Those days are such gifts. Today is not one of them. I have been writing and writing and soul-searching and soul-searching, and reading so many posts on this board...... just trying to understand my "stuff"...
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round3
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7
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342
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posts past couple of days re work
(Preview)
I've been reading the posts about co-workers, and friends and real friends and so on. I've been thinking as I've been reading, "wow, thank god I'm not the only one in a toxic dysfunctional work environment." There's the awkward silences whenever I walk into the crowded break room,...
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Tiger2006
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5
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576
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Has anyone seen my signature, I think it ran away....
(Preview)
I woke up this morning and it seems to have run away. If anyone has any information about it, I would appreciate it if you would let me know. It was a line from Courage to Change, which is CAL, so I can't imagine that anyone found it objectionable. And, I would hope that if someone did find it objection...
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SLS
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3
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482
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feeling so resentful
(Preview)
Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in t...
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maire rua
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3
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275
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Is there such a thing as Online Sponsers?
(Preview)
Hi, since it is not cool for me to go out to events without getting accused of something, is there an online Sponsor or is it here in the forum? thank you.
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spirit
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3
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448
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Now I understand but it still doesn't take away the anger and hurt
(Preview)
If Mr. A. is a social drinker and after a night of drinking he hits Mr. B's parked car, it would be right to blame Mr. A. for that wrong action (hitting the car) because it could very well result in Mr. A. changing his behavior (because Mr. A is a social drinker, he could stop drinking solely because of the co...
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kissers
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2
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423
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The way we think about things.
(Preview)
I have noticed for me that the things that helped me were not things that he did or even things that I did but really just a change in the way that I think about things. I think the most important things for me have been to stop feeling responsible for the way other people feel. I remember being afraid to sa...
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carolinagirl
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5
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556
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Expectations and Anger
(Preview)
I am having a difficult day today. My AH has been asleep for close to 14 hours. He took off work last night. Needless to say, today has been difficult with the baby. She woke up earlier than normal and has been extra cranky b/c she is off schedule. Minimal writing done today. I am angry b/c I have such...
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optimistundone
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7
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508
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LISTEN TO THIS SONG::
(Preview)
KT Tunstall - Saving My Face Lyrics See The Look On My Face From Staying Too Long In One Place But Every Time I Try To Leave I Find I Keep On Stalling Feel Like A Big Old Stone Standing By A Strength Of My Own But Every Time The Morning Breaks I Know Im Closer To Falling Im All Out Of Love, All Out Of Faith I Would Gi...
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ally
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6
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463
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You know what?
(Preview)
I was thinking about it after I calmed down yesterday and I decided this really wasn't such a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, this completely changes the way I feel about a few people at my job. I had told my boss repeatedly that I wanted to go and asked when they were going, even tried to set up going. She i...
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carolinagirl
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4
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520
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My Crazy Uncle
(Preview)
Back in the early 90s, I had a rare gift come my way. My alcoholic father died long ago. I never knew him as a younger man - he was already in his 40s and on his second marriage when I was born. My father was, in hindsight, a teenager who never grew up. He could be bitter and sarcastic, smug and irresponsib...
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barisax
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3
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432
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