Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...

round3 · round3

Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...

digby · digby

Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...

kerry5 · kerry5

I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...

ddub · ddub

Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...

omajoy · omajoy

I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...

kissers · kissers

Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...

maresie · maresie

Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...

Codependent · Codependent

I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...

kissers · kissers

I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.

Deb57 · Deb57

Please allow myself to introduce myself. I am new here, and I am searching for a new beginning. Some years ago, while single(Newly divorced), my youngest son who was a whiz at the computer said "Mom, you can talk to people on the PC." I quickly responded with: " You mean I have to type?&q...

norwood · norwood

Last night our meeting topic was "what is alanon to me?" and it was suggested the I post my share. So: Much of Alanon to me is about LEARNING After all, the difference between AA and Alanon is that AA is for people with a drinking problem and Alanon is for people with a thinking problem. So, I a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...

tea2 · tea2

I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...

serendipity · serendipity

I miss the man he was 5 years ago before he "lost his mind". Maybe he always was the way he is now and I just didn't know. But, 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with baby#3 and he had just started his new career and had just started an affair something within him changed, snapped. The man he was befo...

omajoy · omajoy

Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Since my dad got back from Nicaragua, all he can obsess about is money. And, more specifically, how much I cost him in money. As I sat on the phone with the health insurance agent (if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?) I thought I had secured everything and had it all worked out. I thought. M...

kissers · kissers

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...

Loupiness · Loupiness

At this moment, I feel mad! I am mad that you have no idea how sad and distraught our children are I am mad that I cannot make them feel better I am mad that I will have to uproot them from the life they love I am mad that you get to be with them at your convenience and give them the best of you I am mad that you always...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I have noticed that AH will sometimes reak of Vodka while he sleeps at night. Someone told me that the alcohol is literaly exiting through his pores b/c his liver can not do it. Is this true?

AlaMom · AlaMom

A few years back I when my grandmother passed away, I remember my then active husband was so wrapped up in his disease that he was not there for any support. For years I resented him for it and made it a point to make sure he knew just how much he wasnt there for me then yada yada. After many years of recovery...

Codependent · Codependent

I have talked to the A for the past couple of days and last night he mentioned he might drop by and see me and our child. I told him to call first. After I got off the phone I text messaged him back to be sure to call as I was expecting company. I wasn't really expecting company, but didn't want to have him ove...

kari80 · kari80

My 9 month old's father hasn't been very involved in his life, a lot of it has to do with my trust issues with him. How can I leave my baby alone with a man who can't control his drinking? I've given him the option to have his mother or me around for visits, that was never good enough he wanted it his way or no w...

Christy · Christy

This is from an e-book The Reunion: A Parable For Peace. It was put together by a group I belong to called "Powerful Intenders". This section was written by Chief Seattle who obviously has the attitude of staying positive. Great reminders for all of us. "My brother, I tell you tru...

gknee · gknee

AH and I are talking. He is about 24 hours sober. I know he is jittery and hurting-- we've been through this game a few times before. We are talking about stuff that bugs him-- like piles of items in various rooms in the house that he doesn't like looking at. This from a guy who has either been passed out asl...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay, so they said the computer repairman had been behind, but hopefully it will be finished soon so I can do more than just post on my own needs and instead be able to also respond to yours as well. I saw the A this week. He showed up unexpectedly Monday. My son was ecstatic so I let him stay on the couch. W...

round3 · round3

I'm reading a wonderful novel/memoir right now ("Eat Pray Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert) and came across some dialogue that the author had with herself that really got to me. She was in the throes of loneliness and depression (and was struggling with the decision whether or not to take an...

omajoy · omajoy

All of the concern and suggestions I received last week after my last post about how "thing just keep happening" were appreciated and read and re-read. I come back and keep reading the responses I got and wondering why I am so hard to convince. I am intelligent. I understand the reasons for t...

greta · greta

This was given to me in 2004 when I started out in alanon. At the time, I wanted the serenity of alanon and I wanted it all now. I sure didn't know where to start, and I couldn't grasp the concept of baby steps ever helping me with so many problems to overcome. I have posted this here before, I think today i...

verenda · verenda

Have not been on here in a while, but I need some thoughts on something because I am nearing the end of my tolerance and feel like I could just scream. I am very depressed, hurt, and feel betrayed. Before my AH came back home he was different, he listened to me, expressed empathy, concern, we talked about e...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am taking my life in my own hands. Spending time with the girls. Applying for jobs. Prepping for a lecture tonight. I am somewhat filled with peace. That "somewhat peaceful" feeling will suffice for today. I am not grinding my teeth. I am not stressed out. I will not ask "wha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Has anybody seen our sweet Abbyal? Just wondering if she's okay.

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just reading the last post and thinking about how happy we are when things just fall together. We rejoice in it and feel relief. I can't even count the number of times I have let everything go to HP with the real belief that everything would fall together and without fail when I am intent on doing so...

Loupiness · Loupiness

In talking to an attorney last week, the very first thing he asked me was about my ah's time with the kids. Although they see him multiple times a week, it is pretty random and overnights are infrequent - maybe one child once a week. The attorney then guaranteed me that as a part of the divorce process th...

ddub · ddub

I have struggled with weekends lately - AH is around more and I have much to learn yet re: al anon tools. But as I struggle I have learned a couple important things. 1- no matter how little or big, silly or serious- this MIP family is here for each of us including me. That is the most awesome & humbling...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Photo-Highlight/ss/photos_highlight_fp;_ylt=AlKl0Khao_yMBpIw5d1_fO.s0NUE

sadako · sadako

i bought the conference approved "Blueprint for Progress" workbook, the one that helps you through the 4th step. i read the entire book and i am SO excited to start writing in it! i even have a blank journal ready for if i run out of room on the pages. i love workbooks, guided journals, anythin...

kellic · kellic

Hi, I am new here, so if I don't use the correct abbreviations and such, my apologies in advance. I have been married to my AH (alcoholic husband - right?) for almost 12 years, and we have 3 kids. I know alcoholism is a progressive disease, as is drug addiction. My husband also has a cocain addiction. He...

kissers · kissers

Hi Everyone, Guess what is being televised tonight? HP must want me to see something. Just wanted to let you all know, if anyone is interested in seeing it. It airs at 9 pm Eastern time.

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Sometimes I get irritated because I feel like I can't get my groove on around the AH. He is not in recovery, and I feel like I have to set some sort of example. well, I set a poor example at a freind's party last night, and as drunk as I was, he was drunker. He embarassed the heck out of me, infront of freind's an...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Can someone please tell me what HALT means, apart from the dictionary definition of: to stop? I come across some of these acronymns and although I have heard this I cannot for the life of me remember what it stands for. It is another of those senior moments that I keep on getting of late. Are there any mor...

Just For Now · Just For Now

Most of us can admit our faults...errors of judgement, lack of communication, blurps of insane stupidity, etc. But when combining arguements with these faults seems to cause wildfires to the inner parts of the mind and emotions. And this is where my issues of my life seem to stay rooted to. My err...

ddub · ddub

At today's f2f meeting an elder al anon member spoke of her work with batterers and the similarities (sometimes connected to A) with alcoholism. After the meeting we talked of levels of safety - I feel that if I was ever in danger of physical violence, I would leave immediatly. Perhaps, all feel that w...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) A WOMAN HAS STRENGTHS THAT CAN AMAZE MEN, SHE CAN HANDLE TROUBLE AND CARRY HEAVY BURDENS. SHE HOLDS HAPPINESS, LOVE & OPINIONS, SHE SMILES WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SCREAMING, SHE SINGS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE CRYING, SHE CRIES WHEN SHE'S HAPPY, & LAUGHS W...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got a few calls the other night (been too sick to answer the phone) and luckily found out he's been released before I actually picked up the phone. At least now I know that I need to screen my calls again so I don't get taken by surprise. So much for my divorce filing plans. Last message I heard was - will...

txmomma · txmomma

Hello! I'm really glad I came across this board this weekend, I am so upset and tired of AH's lying and broken promises, I can't take it anymore and don't know what to do. I know I need to leave for my boys, I am a stay-at-home mom with 1 child that has medical issues. We have 2 year old twin boys, life has been...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, Well, I am not crying now but I was. I don't believe the timing of my AHsober. We were waiting for our son in the military to come with our first granddaughter. Happy to see our son and the baby. So my AHsober left to take our son's car in to the garage. And then he says I left the papers by your s...

sadako · sadako

how rude of me to run in and yell "help!" then not come back for a week! my A is the one who attempted suicide on New Year's day. i got hit by a virus, so i've been pretty out of it. i hope to feel better soon and get to posting to others here :) i got the books i ordered, the 4th step workbook and also &qu...

ddub · ddub

Had a great day going and detached when ah passed out tonight. I was winding down to go to bed when ah got up again. Now I can't sleep, too late to call anyone (it's about 2am here) and no one is on chat. I started to get very very anxious so I went to bed anyways, deep breathing, some tears - drunk ah is stone...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((((((((Cjo))))))))))))))))))) MyChristy, a very, very Happy Birthday to you !!! What a journey you've had these past few years! I hope you and scholar boy are going to be able to celebrate. Wishing you a joyous day. love ya, Maria

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Even though I did walk away from my then active alcoholic/addict husband over 20 years ago, I have no doubt that was due in large to my higher power. After completing rehab for my own addictions, I was at least clear-minded enough to recognize that if I were to go back home, he surely would have beaten me t...

omajoy · omajoy

I just came home from taking my husband to yet another medical appointment. I have supervised all the preparation here at home for this CT, did all the arranging, etc. When we got home today with him weak and just dying to get to his recliner and sleep some more, I sat trying to make a grocery list. He chim...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find text messaging to be an interesting form of communication. What I am referring to specifically, is my ah's communication through it. I am thinking you may find some humor in this. Is it just me or is he just trying to say that I am the one with the "problem" Last week, the morning after ou...

maresie · maresie

I spoke to a representative from my landlord yesterday and he said (not knowing I have an evicition on my record gift from the A's acting out) that an eviction stays on your record for 10 years. He was speaking about someone else. I have learned well not to disclose that much about myself to people other t...

optimistundone · optimistundone

smells just as sweet....an addiction by any other name creates just as much havoc. An intense conversation with AH yesterday which in essence falls on me for detaching, not communicating. If he could only understand that if I were to truly communicate it would be full of screaming, expletives, an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A little funny from Kansas (Preview) Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...	Tenderheartsks	4	453	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...	ally	3	639	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	For all the cat lovers... (Preview) Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...	Tiger2006	7	509	Jan 26, 2008 by Diva
	Physical Emotional Care (Preview) Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...	round3	4	525	Jan 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Deja Vu (Preview) Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...	digby	4	438	Jan 26, 2008 by omajoy
	AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM ALL DONE IN...IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING.. (Preview) Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...	Heartbroken	6	501	Jan 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Kids ARe Truly Amazing (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...	kerry5	4	486	Jan 26, 2008 by leo
	Understanding self pity & despair (Preview) Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...	ddub	8	747	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Could NOT stop laughing at this one.. (Preview) Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...	Tiger2006	2	541	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	"We will LAUGH more" (Preview) I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...	omajoy	6	923	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Shutting Down (Preview) Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...	kissers	3	604	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	prayers needed (Preview) Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...	maresie	15	449	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Us and Them (Preview) I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...	Codependent	7	659	Jan 25, 2008 by Jean4444
	STRESS (Preview) That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...	RainyJamie	5	488	Jan 25, 2008 by serendipity
	Today's Gift (Preview) I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.	kissers	2	299	Jan 25, 2008 by Jen
	My Story..My Life (Preview) Please allow myself to introduce myself. I am new here, and I am searching for a new beginning. Some years ago, while single(Newly divorced), my youngest son who was a whiz at the computer said "Mom, you can talk to people on the PC." I quickly responded with: " You mean I have to type?&q...	Deb57	5	510	Jan 25, 2008 by Deb57
	what is alanon to me (Preview) Last night our meeting topic was "what is alanon to me?" and it was suggested the I post my share. So: Much of Alanon to me is about LEARNING After all, the difference between AA and Alanon is that AA is for people with a drinking problem and Alanon is for people with a thinking problem. So, I a...	norwood	8	721	Jan 25, 2008 by march hare
	My world has stopped spinning and I managed to get out today... (Preview) My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...	Heartbroken	8	519	Jan 24, 2008 by Heartbroken
	COPYRIGHTING (a gentle reminder) (closed) (Preview) I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...	tea2	0	422	Jan 24, 2008 by tea2
	I miss my husband (Preview) I miss the man he was 5 years ago before he "lost his mind". Maybe he always was the way he is now and I just didn't know. But, 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with baby#3 and he had just started his new career and had just started an affair something within him changed, snapped. The man he was befo...	serendipity	11	690	Jan 24, 2008 by Codependent
	Wednesday #3-aftermath (Preview) Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...	omajoy	4	345	Jan 24, 2008 by Jen
	needing to share where I'm at... (Preview) Since my dad got back from Nicaragua, all he can obsess about is money. And, more specifically, how much I cost him in money. As I sat on the phone with the health insurance agent (if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?) I thought I had secured everything and had it all worked out. I thought. M...	Tiger2006	9	1203	Jan 24, 2008 by barisax
	Asking For Help (Preview) On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...	kissers	3	571	Jan 24, 2008 by maresie
	Right now I am mad! (Preview) At this moment, I feel mad! I am mad that you have no idea how sad and distraught our children are I am mad that I cannot make them feel better I am mad that I will have to uproot them from the life they love I am mad that you get to be with them at your convenience and give them the best of you I am mad that you always...	Loupiness	18	674	Jan 24, 2008 by Loupiness
	My AH stinks...Literally!!! (Preview) I have noticed that AH will sometimes reak of Vodka while he sleeps at night. Someone told me that the alcohol is literaly exiting through his pores b/c his liver can not do it. Is this true?	desperate for help	11	455	Jan 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Seeing the Difference (Preview) A few years back I when my grandmother passed away, I remember my then active husband was so wrapped up in his disease that he was not there for any support. For years I resented him for it and made it a point to make sure he knew just how much he wasnt there for me then yada yada. After many years of recovery...	AlaMom	6	333	Jan 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Does cutting off all ties help the A? (Preview) I have talked to the A for the past couple of days and last night he mentioned he might drop by and see me and our child. I told him to call first. After I got off the phone I text messaged him back to be sure to call as I was expecting company. I wasn't really expecting company, but didn't want to have him ove...	Codependent	14	776	Jan 24, 2008 by mel123
	best for the baby (Preview) My 9 month old's father hasn't been very involved in his life, a lot of it has to do with my trust issues with him. How can I leave my baby alone with a man who can't control his drinking? I've given him the option to have his mother or me around for visits, that was never good enough he wanted it his way or no w...	kari80	4	460	Jan 23, 2008 by Maria123
	Book excerpt (Preview) This is from an e-book The Reunion: A Parable For Peace. It was put together by a group I belong to called "Powerful Intenders". This section was written by Chief Seattle who obviously has the attitude of staying positive. Great reminders for all of us. "My brother, I tell you tru...	Christy	5	567	Jan 23, 2008 by Maria123
	was this too mean? (Preview) AH and I are talking. He is about 24 hours sober. I know he is jittery and hurting-- we've been through this game a few times before. We are talking about stuff that bugs him-- like piles of items in various rooms in the house that he doesn't like looking at. This from a guy who has either been passed out asl...	gknee	10	458	Jan 23, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Wanting to be approved... (Preview) Okay, so they said the computer repairman had been behind, but hopefully it will be finished soon so I can do more than just post on my own needs and instead be able to also respond to yours as well. I saw the A this week. He showed up unexpectedly Monday. My son was ecstatic so I let him stay on the couch. W...	Codependent	2	515	Jan 23, 2008 by nmike
	Loneliness & Depression (non CAL) (Preview) I'm reading a wonderful novel/memoir right now ("Eat Pray Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert) and came across some dialogue that the author had with herself that really got to me. She was in the throes of loneliness and depression (and was struggling with the decision whether or not to take an...	round3	6	711	Jan 23, 2008 by maresie
	wishing I could activate advice (Preview) All of the concern and suggestions I received last week after my last post about how "thing just keep happening" were appreciated and read and re-read. I come back and keep reading the responses I got and wondering why I am so hard to convince. I am intelligent. I understand the reasons for t...	omajoy	11	541	Jan 23, 2008 by Heartbroken
	The Daffodil Principle (Preview) This was given to me in 2004 when I started out in alanon. At the time, I wanted the serenity of alanon and I wanted it all now. I sure didn't know where to start, and I couldn't grasp the concept of baby steps ever helping me with so many problems to overcome. I have posted this here before, I think today i...	greta	5	315	Jan 23, 2008 by carosie
	Need advice about lack of communication with AH (Preview) Have not been on here in a while, but I need some thoughts on something because I am nearing the end of my tolerance and feel like I could just scream. I am very depressed, hurt, and feel betrayed. Before my AH came back home he was different, he listened to me, expressed empathy, concern, we talked about e...	verenda	15	1425	Jan 23, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Just for today (Preview) I am taking my life in my own hands. Spending time with the girls. Applying for jobs. Prepping for a lecture tonight. I am somewhat filled with peace. That "somewhat peaceful" feeling will suffice for today. I am not grinding my teeth. I am not stressed out. I will not ask "wha...	optimistundone	3	320	Jan 22, 2008 by cookie1971
	Where's Abbyal? (Preview) Has anybody seen our sweet Abbyal? Just wondering if she's okay.	Karilynn	1	332	Jan 22, 2008 by belle1
	Falling together Falling apart (Preview) I was just reading the last post and thinking about how happy we are when things just fall together. We rejoice in it and feel relief. I can't even count the number of times I have let everything go to HP with the real belief that everything would fall together and without fail when I am intent on doing so...	carolinagirl	3	465	Jan 22, 2008 by maresie
	Why am I such a wimp?! (Preview) In talking to an attorney last week, the very first thing he asked me was about my ah's time with the kids. Although they see him multiple times a week, it is pretty random and overnights are infrequent - maybe one child once a week. The attorney then guaranteed me that as a part of the divorce process th...	Loupiness	8	707	Jan 22, 2008 by serendipity
	humbled progress (Preview) I have struggled with weekends lately - AH is around more and I have much to learn yet re: al anon tools. But as I struggle I have learned a couple important things. 1- no matter how little or big, silly or serious- this MIP family is here for each of us including me. That is the most awesome & humbling...	ddub	2	289	Jan 22, 2008 by Jean4444
	something to brighten your day... (Preview) http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Photo-Highlight/ss/photos_highlight_fp;_ylt=AlKl0Khao_yMBpIw5d1_fO.s0NUE	Tiger2006	0	306	Jan 22, 2008 by Tiger2006
	4th step workbook (Preview) i bought the conference approved "Blueprint for Progress" workbook, the one that helps you through the 4th step. i read the entire book and i am SO excited to start writing in it! i even have a blank journal ready for if i run out of room on the pages. i love workbooks, guided journals, anythin...	sadako	9	14407	Jan 22, 2008 by SLS
	new - need help (Preview) Hi, I am new here, so if I don't use the correct abbreviations and such, my apologies in advance. I have been married to my AH (alcoholic husband - right?) for almost 12 years, and we have 3 kids. I know alcoholism is a progressive disease, as is drug addiction. My husband also has a cocain addiction. He...	kellic	12	621	Jan 22, 2008 by Christy
	Do you remember my post about the movie Runaway Bride? (Preview) Hi Everyone, Guess what is being televised tonight? HP must want me to see something. Just wanted to let you all know, if anyone is interested in seeing it. It airs at 9 pm Eastern time.	kissers	1	349	Jan 22, 2008 by kissers
	Pot and Kettle (Preview) Sometimes I get irritated because I feel like I can't get my groove on around the AH. He is not in recovery, and I feel like I have to set some sort of example. well, I set a poor example at a freind's party last night, and as drunk as I was, he was drunker. He embarassed the heck out of me, infront of freind's an...	RainyJamie	6	342	Jan 22, 2008 by RainyJamie
	HALT? (Preview) Can someone please tell me what HALT means, apart from the dictionary definition of: to stop? I come across some of these acronymns and although I have heard this I cannot for the life of me remember what it stands for. It is another of those senior moments that I keep on getting of late. Are there any mor...	Heartbroken	7	516	Jan 21, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Bitter Struggles (Preview) Most of us can admit our faults...errors of judgement, lack of communication, blurps of insane stupidity, etc. But when combining arguements with these faults seems to cause wildfires to the inner parts of the mind and emotions. And this is where my issues of my life seem to stay rooted to. My err...	Just For Now	3	405	Jan 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	levels of safety (Preview) At today's f2f meeting an elder al anon member spoke of her work with batterers and the similarities (sometimes connected to A) with alcoholism. After the meeting we talked of levels of safety - I feel that if I was ever in danger of physical violence, I would leave immediatly. Perhaps, all feel that w...	ddub	6	553	Jan 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	FOR ALL WOMEN OUT THERE AND REMINDERS FOR MEN... (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) A WOMAN HAS STRENGTHS THAT CAN AMAZE MEN, SHE CAN HANDLE TROUBLE AND CARRY HEAVY BURDENS. SHE HOLDS HAPPINESS, LOVE & OPINIONS, SHE SMILES WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SCREAMING, SHE SINGS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE CRYING, SHE CRIES WHEN SHE'S HAPPY, & LAUGHS W...	ally	7	764	Jan 21, 2008 by Mandy123
	He's out :( (Preview) I got a few calls the other night (been too sick to answer the phone) and luckily found out he's been released before I actually picked up the phone. At least now I know that I need to screen my calls again so I don't get taken by surprise. So much for my divorce filing plans. Last message I heard was - will...	carolinagirl	2	485	Jan 21, 2008 by QOD
	New here, so angry at AH and don't know how to leave with children (Preview) Hello! I'm really glad I came across this board this weekend, I am so upset and tired of AH's lying and broken promises, I can't take it anymore and don't know what to do. I know I need to leave for my boys, I am a stay-at-home mom with 1 child that has medical issues. We have 2 year old twin boys, life has been...	txmomma	11	644	Jan 21, 2008 by tma0413
	He gives me the divorce papers (Preview) Hi Alanoners, Well, I am not crying now but I was. I don't believe the timing of my AHsober. We were waiting for our son in the military to come with our first granddaughter. Happy to see our son and the baby. So my AHsober left to take our son's car in to the garage. And then he says I left the papers by your s...	nmike	6	642	Jan 21, 2008 by Karilynn
	update (Preview) how rude of me to run in and yell "help!" then not come back for a week! my A is the one who attempted suicide on New Year's day. i got hit by a virus, so i've been pretty out of it. i hope to feel better soon and get to posting to others here :) i got the books i ordered, the 4th step workbook and also &qu...	sadako	7	339	Jan 21, 2008 by sadako
	weekends are very tough lately (Preview) Had a great day going and detached when ah passed out tonight. I was winding down to go to bed when ah got up again. Now I can't sleep, too late to call anyone (it's about 2am here) and no one is on chat. I started to get very very anxious so I went to bed anyways, deep breathing, some tears - drunk ah is stone...	ddub	8	624	Jan 21, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Birthdays are Grand (Preview) ((((((((((((((Cjo))))))))))))))))))) MyChristy, a very, very Happy Birthday to you !!! What a journey you've had these past few years! I hope you and scholar boy are going to be able to celebrate. Wishing you a joyous day. love ya, Maria	Maria123	8	417	Jan 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	Accepting my limitations (Preview) Even though I did walk away from my then active alcoholic/addict husband over 20 years ago, I have no doubt that was due in large to my higher power. After completing rehab for my own addictions, I was at least clear-minded enough to recognize that if I were to go back home, he surely would have beaten me t...	Tenderheartsks	3	655	Jan 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	things just keep happening (Preview) I just came home from taking my husband to yet another medical appointment. I have supervised all the preparation here at home for this CT, did all the arranging, etc. When we got home today with him weak and just dying to get to his recliner and sleep some more, I sat trying to make a grocery list. He chim...	omajoy	9	551	Jan 20, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Text Messaging (Preview) I find text messaging to be an interesting form of communication. What I am referring to specifically, is my ah's communication through it. I am thinking you may find some humor in this. Is it just me or is he just trying to say that I am the one with the "problem" Last week, the morning after ou...	Loupiness	10	470	Jan 20, 2008 by carolinagirl
	how to move on? 10 years/5 years/whatever (Preview) I spoke to a representative from my landlord yesterday and he said (not knowing I have an evicition on my record gift from the A's acting out) that an eviction stays on your record for 10 years. He was speaking about someone else. I have learned well not to disclose that much about myself to people other t...	maresie	7	643	Jan 20, 2008 by maresie
	A rose by any other name..... (Preview) smells just as sweet....an addiction by any other name creates just as much havoc. An intense conversation with AH yesterday which in essence falls on me for detaching, not communicating. If he could only understand that if I were to truly communicate it would be full of screaming, expletives, an...	optimistundone	2	403	Jan 20, 2008 by optimistundone
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.