Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page looks at an early tendency to think we are exceptions, that perhaps the steps don't apply to us. I'm not truly powerless, my life is not unmanageable, no need for me to return to sanity...right?As we begin to understand the meaning of the steps and are able to be more honest, however, we se...

JerryF · JerryF

Yep I know "needing a Higher Power". I thought that I had some powerful stuff going for me based upon my past, my history. Early program was an incredible adventure for me and my life as I experience miracles and had a tight relationship with our program and Higher Power. I have had progressive mira...

Iamhere · Iamhere

MIP family - thank you for your support and prayers as I am trying to be of maximum service to my parents. It's been a significant challenge and I am feeling very overwhelmed. I'll spend time when I have time sharing more but, for today, my mother has been placed in assisted living and my father is reluc...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 9/20, the member suggests if we have an attitude of contempt for our alcoholic, we need to seriously examine ourselves. The member reminds us that As have an illness which includes being confused and guilt-ridden human beings with a badly battered ego. They do not need to...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about letting go of resentments and bitterness, and learning to forgive. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic family, and experiencing many forms of mistreatment. The result included feeling like an extremely angry and resentful victim...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading speaks about a newcomer to Al-anon who noted that many Al-anon readings referenced a higher power. The newcomer wasn't certain they wanted to have a relationship with a higher power or what they would even do with one if they had it. They were relieved to learn that members of the fello...

Freetime · Freetime

Chapter Four of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Negotiating Boundaries," makes the point that knowing what is good for us and what is not good for us is a foundation for setting healthy limits (boundaries) for ourselves, in relationships and other parts of life. Boundaries are for our ow...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Today's reader talks about the progress the author has made and that when they are troubled about what lies ahead, they can look back at where they have been. Time offers evidence that the Al-Anon program works - they see growth in their lives and the longer they live by these principles, the more evide...

JerryF · JerryF

My former sponsor, DON,T!! taught me a lot which I came to accept as very very valid because of how it changed my life. One of the most important, if not the most important is that Humility is "Being teachable" which has always worked when I work it. Patience is always good for my heart and spirit and the...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today we are asked to consider the validity of the points we get stuck on. If others are not responding the way we expect, perhaps we need to adjust our own thinking, or perhaps our sense of timing. We are asked to consider others' right to a different point of view. TODAY'S REMINDER: An open mind is a hand...

Youknowme · Youknowme

-- Edited by Youknowme on Thursday 16th of September 2021 11:31:36 AM

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about their challenges sleeping. They tried everything from hot milk to seeing the doctor, and yet still could not sleep. The author was too exhausted to pay much attention to anything outside of their own needs. One day at an Al-Anon meeting, anoth...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading focuses on the topic of expectations. It uses an example of an Alanon member who has badly injured their foot. They are in severe pain and unable to get to their in person Alanon meetings. The member admits that though they see themselves as an independent person with good creative pro...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Both AA and Alanon emphasize that their programs are of a spiritual, not religious nature. This focus allows each member to use Alanon steps and principles in line with their personal religious (or non) perspective, without the unpleasant awkwardness of another member insisting on branding the p...

Lyne · Lyne

For Monday, 9/13, the member talks about time as a special kind of checking account: there are 24 hours to spend, and they are precious. You can make a positive change and enrich your life by using the 12 Steps, HP, alanon meetings, people, calls, and literature. You can spend your time to grow, enjo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about acknowledging and feeling our feelings rather than stamping them down. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic home where the lesson was dont feel. The writer grew up distrusting feelings and in effect distrusting him/her-self. The wr...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading describes recovery as a triangle with higher power at the top and the Alanon program, tools and life at the other areas of the triangle. The reading goes on to say, "As long as I keep everything in that order, with my higher power as my sole focus, everything in my life works serenely, eve...

Freetime · Freetime

Chapter 3 of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Communicating Clearly," explains that in alcoholic relationships, some of us learned to hide and bottle up our feelings, and some of us became "compulsive truth-tellers," unburdening ourselves on the nearest person, whether they wanted t...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

In today's reader the author talks about having a nagging suspicion that they weren't doing their Step 4 inventory right. With their HPs help, they finally realised that it wasn't that they had done their Fourth Step wrong, but rather that they had the same sense of inadequacy about their whole life...

DM2021 · DM2021

I think I blew it last night because I allowed myself to get to a burning point concerning the constant control that AH exerts on just about everything I do. The constant, holy than thou opinions and put downs sometimes just gets to me and I think this time it is because I have been trying to recover from so...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author asks about anything that might be standing in the way of trusting our Higher Power. In the author's case, it was a desire for a guarantee. The author resisted turning their will and life to their HP because they felt that if they held out, they would themselves come up wit...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today's reading calls us to action, asks us to open our eyes and our minds to what we have and who we are. What are we going to do with that? How are we going to engage our potential? "What am I going to do with what Ive got?" If we concentrate our efforts on gratitude and on our own unlimited resources, they wi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's contributor reminds us that the purpose of Alanon is not validation of self-pity, caustic rants, or vindictive counterattacks, but to gently nudge us toward a more spiritual view and course of action. We undoubtedly will read or hear the suggestion that it is our own view or actions that are...

a4l · a4l

I was sailing along,progressing nicely and then why hello, here I am again, the isms of chaos and manipulation and self sacrifice. Now to be sure, today these are matters which represent bumps in the road as opposed to road closures but nonetheless very unpleasant. My alcoholic aging parent is...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 9/6, speaks about feeling the right and obligation to control others. Somehow we thought we should set the standards for the A, for the family, etc. However, if we are trying to follow the alanon program, then we need to overcome the ideas of directing, scheming, and manipul...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on the slogan Just for Today. The writer describes finding it impossible to stay in the present. Instead thoughts were always focused on the next day, week or month. It got to the point that thoughts of the future overtook the present day. The writer...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Today's reading talks about that as we let go of obsession, worry and focusing on everyone but ourselves, many are bewildered by the increasing calmness of their minds. We know how to live in a state of crisis, but is can take a bit of adjustment to become comfortable with stillness and the time we now ha...

Freetime · Freetime

Continuing with the second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Building and Rebuilding Trust," the member on page 40 shares about learning to "act as if." In her family of origin, showing love was seen as a weakness and could be used against her. She was unable to show love to her hus...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author speaks to how important it can be for an Al-Anon group to use a group conscience to address challenges they may be facing. The author shares that their home group had gotten into a rut. They hadn't had new members in a very long time, and seemed to cycle through t...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today's reading promises rewards. With a changed attitude (concern, love, and kindness for others), I can expect the circumstances of my life to change for the better. If I expect good, it will surely come in some form for me. And, if I offer others a "tolerant uncritical awareness" and focus my viewp...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Hi all! I still get on to read and rarely post anymore, but had to share an update! I had the most interesting not shocking things hit my awareness. So I went to al-anon meetings for years and had my old wise sponsor whom helped me do my first step work and pushed me to grow and do amazing things! Fast forward...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's contributor admits the tendency to try changing others to fit self desires, and to blame the failure to meet those desires on the shortfalls of others. A wish for others to always be there for them, but not ask for much in return...more like a pet than a human relationship. Not surprisingly, re...

LinSC · LinSC

I think it was 2017 since I was last here. At that time my son was my qualifier. He since has married, had a child and quit alcohol and drugs cold turkey totally. Without a program, I am not sure how he is doing emotionally and spiritually and not sure if he has been affected by "arrested development". He no...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 8/30, talks about how ones attitude dictates the way we experience the world. This came about through the members sponsor asking them to use a grievance list, and then gratitude lists when feeling low, unhappy about family, and/or when feeling fine. The member was surpris...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the important role detachment has in recovery. The writer describes learning to detach from her mother. In alanon, the writer learned that she had become so focused on her mother and the disease of alcoholism that she didnt know where her mother ended...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading touches on what it was like for an Alanon member to grow up in a home with two parents affected by alcoholism. Their father being an alcoholic and their mother having been raised in a home with alcoholism; the member feels neither was able to give them attention they needed as a child. Th...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

In today's reading, the author talks about the trust they felt in working with their first sponsor. They describe how they felt before they asked them - a mess, questioning whether the sponsor would accept them, thinking they would be turned down because they were not worth saving. The sponsor gent...

Freetime · Freetime

The second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships is titled "Building and Rebuilding Trust." It mentions that living with alcoholism has made us unable to be open and honest, because we came to doubt ourselves and mistrust others. We did not to let anyone know the "real me," sometimes as a...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today's story tells of a man's struggle with his spouse's occasional program lapses. Al-Anon reminds him to instead rejoice in her successful periods of sobriety, to appreciate her effort, and not to take on her problems with alcohol. TODAY'S REMINDER: When we slip into responsibility or fixing m...

serenity47 · serenity47

Sometimes, I don't always recognize my own growth, or I am critical of the pace of my growth. Today was an emotional , stressful day. My daughters boyfriend whom we have come to love and appreciate relapsed/slipped. Upon hearing the news, I did not sleep at all well last night and found myself feelin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

At some point in our Alanon journey, our appreciation deepens for the role of honesty and candor in our recovery. This often is accompanied by acknowledgement that our behavior at times, like the alcoholic's, has been neither sane or rational; progress...This may not be the end of the Alanon journe...

annt · annt

I buried a memory from when I was 12 years old. I saw my brother hiding liquor bottles in his room. He was also smoking marijuana. I was asleep at night when he came into my room and stuck his hand down my nightgown. My life has been a rollercoaster ever since. It ruined my marriage and caused me a lot of harm....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on how students learn to play the piano - they start with just a few keys and one hand, eventually adding a second hand and more keys, until they are using all the keys on the piano from the low bass to the high treble. The author considers how in Al-Anon,...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 8/23, the member talks about the fear of making mistakes. This could bring accusations and abuse from the alcoholic, as well as themself. The slightest error felt huge which they could not let go of. Yet the member struggled to give the appearance of perfect self-contro...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about how we might seek answers, changes, self worth, from people and/or situations outside of ourselves. The writer describes coming to al-anon looking for answers. The writer looked to parents, friends, partners etc: looking everywhere except Highe...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today's reading is about the consequences of my attitude, and calls for compassion for our qualifiers. Our behaviour (contempt, indignation, neglect) is ego-destroying, and the ego of the drinker is already painfully battered by guilt and fear. TODAY'S REMINDER: My spouse is a child of God, and...

Im · Im

I would love words of wisdom here from members as to how this phrase keep the focus on me relates to them/how it is used in their relationships with their Q. New mantra to consider for me. I think it will be helpful as I will shift the focus from Why did my ABF do/not do x,y,z? ... I am beginning to understand i...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

In today's reading the author talks about struggling to understand the slogan, "Live and Let Live". They asked themselves the question "how do I turn my eyes on myself and 'live' for the first time in my life?" Their sponsor asked them a question in turn - "what have you done earlier today?" Although t...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

In today's reading an Alanon member recalls reacting negatively as a child when their parents told them what to do. Examples of how they responded as a child were with angry compliance or rebellious refusal. They felt controlled. As an adult and member of Alanon they volunteer for service to their Al...

JerryF · JerryF

There (for me) is no way of measuring perfection and so I stay away from the subject. I am certainly not qualified to discuss that subject but then how do I handle progress? I can inventory honestly the recovery attributes of in this case my significant (very) other, Al-Anon spouse with my Higher Po...

Im · Im

I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart. We spoke...

Freetime · Freetime

The first chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships has members' shares about various experiences about how someone else's alcoholism affected their feelings about their own value, their sexual relationships, and their need for closeness and intimacy. On page 24, a member shares that i...

Bbrave · Bbrave

In today's reading we receive some pretty direct advice about how to manage (not manage) our alcoholic. We must overcome our habit of setting standards for them and expecting those standards to be followed (whether or not this person is still drinking or sober or in AA). Expecting what we believe sho...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...unhealthy survival mechanisms we developed in a difficult environment, but have outgrown? Assets that have lost proportion? Perhaps...regardless of how we feel about them, Alanon allows us to face them honestly, but without feeling we are responsible for removing them all ourselves. We are...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Six: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. The author describes how they deal with requests for endo...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, August 16th, the writer shares that harsh words and accusations can be used against the alcoholic. This can cause damage, and asks why we risk hurting someone who is already hurting? The author also asks if they are punishing the drinker or relieving their own pent-up fee...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Hello everyone! I stumbled on this forum today when googling something and realized I created an account here about five years ago right before DH overdosed and got sober. I am so grateful to have found this again. Im back in al anon and loving it. So many useful tools to remind me to keep in my lane. im wo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the role fear can play in our lives. The writer describes fear as a catalyst for any character defects that may have been lying dormant. The writer describes the defects as seeming to be powered off, but when fear comes into play they are charged and get m...

a4l · a4l

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for. I am so delighted that it is true what they say about an attitude of gratitude and how it continues to multiply. When I step into gratitude, life gives me more to be grateful for. It is whale season where I am, and every time I see a moth...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading discusses and offers tools for acknowledging feelings and processing them. In this reading, the Al-anon member recalls making choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Examples given are confusion, fear, anger. The person found that these unresolved feelings were a poor...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	9/21/21 ODAT - It Can't Be Me...Can It? (Preview) Today's page looks at an early tendency to think we are exceptions, that perhaps the steps don't apply to us. I'm not truly powerless, my life is not unmanageable, no need for me to return to sanity...right?As we begin to understand the meaning of the steps and are able to be more honest, however, we se...	Enigmatic	2	774	Sep 21, 2021 by DM2021
	Being Human and needing a Higher Power (Preview) Yep I know "needing a Higher Power". I thought that I had some powerful stuff going for me based upon my past, my history. Early program was an incredible adventure for me and my life as I experience miracles and had a tight relationship with our program and Higher Power. I have had progressive mira...	JerryF	8	446	Sep 20, 2021 by JerryF
	Honored to share 9/19 with Jerry (Preview) MIP family - thank you for your support and prayers as I am trying to be of maximum service to my parents. It's been a significant challenge and I am feeling very overwhelmed. I'll spend time when I have time sharing more but, for today, my mother has been placed in assisted living and my father is reluc...	Iamhere	6	1644	Sep 20, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT in alanon, 9/20, accepting reality and my A (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 9/20, the member suggests if we have an attitude of contempt for our alcoholic, we need to seriously examine ourselves. The member reminds us that As have an illness which includes being confused and guilt-ridden human beings with a badly battered ego. They do not need to...	Lyne	1	550	Sep 20, 2021 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Sept 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about letting go of resentments and bitterness, and learning to forgive. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic family, and experiencing many forms of mistreatment. The result included feeling like an extremely angry and resentful victim...	yanksfan51	3	370	Sep 19, 2021 by JerryF
	September 18 Hope for Today - Personal Recovery (Preview) Today's reading speaks about a newcomer to Al-anon who noted that many Al-anon readings referenced a higher power. The newcomer wasn't certain they wanted to have a relationship with a higher power or what they would even do with one if they had it. They were relieved to learn that members of the fello...	tiredtonite	3	1510	Sep 18, 2021 by JerryF
	September 17 - Intimacy Book - Boundaries (Preview) Chapter Four of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Negotiating Boundaries," makes the point that knowing what is good for us and what is not good for us is a foundation for setting healthy limits (boundaries) for ourselves, in relationships and other parts of life. Boundaries are for our ow...	Freetime	6	2957	Sep 18, 2021 by Freetime
	18th Sept C2C progress (Preview) Today's reader talks about the progress the author has made and that when they are troubled about what lies ahead, they can look back at where they have been. Time offers evidence that the Al-Anon program works - they see growth in their lives and the longer they live by these principles, the more evide...	Bettertomorrow	3	2150	Sep 18, 2021 by Daffodils
	Patience and Humility (Preview) My former sponsor, DON,T!! taught me a lot which I came to accept as very very valid because of how it changed my life. One of the most important, if not the most important is that Humility is "Being teachable" which has always worked when I work it. Patience is always good for my heart and spirit and the...	JerryF	3	1427	Sep 16, 2021 by JerryF
	Sept. 16, ODAT - Look Again (Preview) Today we are asked to consider the validity of the points we get stuck on. If others are not responding the way we expect, perhaps we need to adjust our own thinking, or perhaps our sense of timing. We are asked to consider others' right to a different point of view. TODAY'S REMINDER: An open mind is a hand...	Bbrave	4	1743	Sep 16, 2021 by DM2021
	I'm writing a memoir about domestic violence (Preview) -- Edited by Youknowme on Thursday 16th of September 2021 11:31:36 AM	Youknowme	2	1168	Sep 16, 2021 by Youknowme
	Courage to Change September 15 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about their challenges sleeping. They tried everything from hot milk to seeing the doctor, and yet still could not sleep. The author was too exhausted to pay much attention to anything outside of their own needs. One day at an Al-Anon meeting, anoth...	Skorpi	2	531	Sep 16, 2021 by Lyne
	Sept 4 Hope for Today - Expectations (Preview) Today's reading focuses on the topic of expectations. It uses an example of an Alanon member who has badly injured their foot. They are in severe pain and unable to get to their in person Alanon meetings. The member admits that though they see themselves as an independent person with good creative pro...	tiredtonite	4	519	Sep 16, 2021 by Im
	9/14/21 Unaffiliated, Spiritual Program; Not Religious (Preview) Both AA and Alanon emphasize that their programs are of a spiritual, not religious nature. This focus allows each member to use Alanon steps and principles in line with their personal religious (or non) perspective, without the unpleasant awkwardness of another member insisting on branding the p...	Enigmatic	4	595	Sep 15, 2021 by Lyne
	C2C, 9/13, improving one’s life (Preview) For Monday, 9/13, the member talks about time as a special kind of checking account: there are 24 hours to spend, and they are precious. You can make a positive change and enrich your life by using the 12 Steps, HP, alanon meetings, people, calls, and literature. You can spend your time to grow, enjo...	Lyne	5	448	Sep 14, 2021 by serenity47
	Hope for Today Sept 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about acknowledging and feeling our feelings rather than stamping them down. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic home where the lesson was dont feel. The writer grew up distrusting feelings and in effect distrusting him/her-self. The wr...	yanksfan51	2	586	Sep 12, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	September 11 Hope for Today - Higher Power (Preview) Today's reading describes recovery as a triangle with higher power at the top and the Alanon program, tools and life at the other areas of the triangle. The reading goes on to say, "As long as I keep everything in that order, with my higher power as my sole focus, everything in my life works serenely, eve...	tiredtonite	1	739	Sep 12, 2021 by Lyne
	September 10 - Intimacy Book - Communicating (Preview) Chapter 3 of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Communicating Clearly," explains that in alcoholic relationships, some of us learned to hide and bottle up our feelings, and some of us became "compulsive truth-tellers," unburdening ourselves on the nearest person, whether they wanted t...	Freetime	3	1548	Sep 11, 2021 by Im
	Sept 11th, C2C, Step 4 (Preview) In today's reader the author talks about having a nagging suspicion that they weren't doing their Step 4 inventory right. With their HPs help, they finally realised that it wasn't that they had done their Fourth Step wrong, but rather that they had the same sense of inadequacy about their whole life...	Bettertomorrow	3	262	Sep 11, 2021 by Freetime
	I Do Feel Better, but ..... (Preview) I think I blew it last night because I allowed myself to get to a burning point concerning the constant control that AH exerts on just about everything I do. The constant, holy than thou opinions and put downs sometimes just gets to me and I think this time it is because I have been trying to recover from so...	DM2021	5	606	Sep 11, 2021 by DM2021
	Courage to Change September 8 (Preview) In today's reading, the author asks about anything that might be standing in the way of trusting our Higher Power. In the author's case, it was a desire for a guarantee. The author resisted turning their will and life to their HP because they felt that if they held out, they would themselves come up wit...	Skorpi	4	1287	Sep 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Sept 9, ODAT - My Potential (Preview) Today's reading calls us to action, asks us to open our eyes and our minds to what we have and who we are. What are we going to do with that? How are we going to engage our potential? "What am I going to do with what Ive got?" If we concentrate our efforts on gratitude and on our own unlimited resources, they wi...	Bbrave	4	2559	Sep 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	9/7/21 ODAT – Alanon: Helps Change How We See Problems (Preview) Today's contributor reminds us that the purpose of Alanon is not validation of self-pity, caustic rants, or vindictive counterattacks, but to gently nudge us toward a more spiritual view and course of action. We undoubtedly will read or hear the suggestion that it is our own view or actions that are...	Enigmatic	5	1145	Sep 8, 2021 by Lyne
	Cunning and baffling; clearing my mind. (Preview) I was sailing along,progressing nicely and then why hello, here I am again, the isms of chaos and manipulation and self sacrifice. Now to be sure, today these are matters which represent bumps in the road as opposed to road closures but nonetheless very unpleasant. My alcoholic aging parent is...	a4l	5	914	Sep 7, 2021 by Iamhere
	ODAT in alanon, 9/6, tendency to control (Preview) The reading for Monday, 9/6, speaks about feeling the right and obligation to control others. Somehow we thought we should set the standards for the A, for the family, etc. However, if we are trying to follow the alanon program, then we need to overcome the ideas of directing, scheming, and manipul...	Lyne	5	342	Sep 6, 2021 by serenity47
	Hope for Today Sept 5 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on the slogan Just for Today. The writer describes finding it impossible to stay in the present. Instead thoughts were always focused on the next day, week or month. It got to the point that thoughts of the future overtook the present day. The writer...	yanksfan51	3	1194	Sep 5, 2021 by a4l
	C2C Sept 4th - moving from crisis to calm (Preview) Today's reading talks about that as we let go of obsession, worry and focusing on everyone but ourselves, many are bewildered by the increasing calmness of their minds. We know how to live in a state of crisis, but is can take a bit of adjustment to become comfortable with stillness and the time we now ha...	Bettertomorrow	4	849	Sep 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	September 2 - Intimacy Book - Trust (Preview) Continuing with the second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Building and Rebuilding Trust," the member on page 40 shares about learning to "act as if." In her family of origin, showing love was seen as a weakness and could be used against her. She was unable to show love to her hus...	Freetime	3	2455	Sep 4, 2021 by Daffodils
	Courage to Change September 1 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author speaks to how important it can be for an Al-Anon group to use a group conscience to address challenges they may be facing. The author shares that their home group had gotten into a rut. They hadn't had new members in a very long time, and seemed to cycle through t...	Skorpi	4	363	Sep 3, 2021 by Lyne
	Sept. 2, ODAT - Rewards (Preview) Today's reading promises rewards. With a changed attitude (concern, love, and kindness for others), I can expect the circumstances of my life to change for the better. If I expect good, it will surely come in some form for me. And, if I offer others a "tolerant uncritical awareness" and focus my viewp...	Bbrave	4	402	Sep 2, 2021 by Iamhere
	Program work is always needed! (Preview) Hi all! I still get on to read and rarely post anymore, but had to share an update! I had the most interesting not shocking things hit my awareness. So I went to al-anon meetings for years and had my old wise sponsor whom helped me do my first step work and pushed me to grow and do amazing things! Fast forward...	Breakingfree	5	1940	Sep 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	8/31/21 C2C (Preview) Today's contributor admits the tendency to try changing others to fit self desires, and to blame the failure to meet those desires on the shortfalls of others. A wish for others to always be there for them, but not ask for much in return...more like a pet than a human relationship. Not surprisingly, re...	Enigmatic	3	324	Sep 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	Many kinds of Addictions (Preview) I think it was 2017 since I was last here. At that time my son was my qualifier. He since has married, had a child and quit alcohol and drugs cold turkey totally. Without a program, I am not sure how he is doing emotionally and spiritually and not sure if he has been affected by "arrested development". He no...	LinSC	4	1576	Sep 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	C2C, Monday, 8/30, attitude (Preview) The reading for Monday, 8/30, talks about how ones attitude dictates the way we experience the world. This came about through the members sponsor asking them to use a grievance list, and then gratitude lists when feeling low, unhappy about family, and/or when feeling fine. The member was surpris...	Lyne	8	2459	Aug 31, 2021 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Aug 29 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the important role detachment has in recovery. The writer describes learning to detach from her mother. In alanon, the writer learned that she had become so focused on her mother and the disease of alcoholism that she didnt know where her mother ended...	yanksfan51	4	1388	Aug 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 28th Hope for Today Self Knowledge (Preview) Today's reading touches on what it was like for an Alanon member to grow up in a home with two parents affected by alcoholism. Their father being an alcoholic and their mother having been raised in a home with alcoholism; the member feels neither was able to give them attention they needed as a child. Th...	tiredtonite	6	2976	Aug 29, 2021 by Daffodils
	August 28th, C2C - Trusting enough to work with a sponsor (Preview) In today's reading, the author talks about the trust they felt in working with their first sponsor. They describe how they felt before they asked them - a mess, questioning whether the sponsor would accept them, thinking they would be turned down because they were not worth saving. The sponsor gent...	Bettertomorrow	3	1106	Aug 28, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 27 - Intimacy Book - Trust (Preview) The second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships is titled "Building and Rebuilding Trust." It mentions that living with alcoholism has made us unable to be open and honest, because we came to doubt ourselves and mistrust others. We did not to let anyone know the "real me," sometimes as a...	Freetime	6	347	Aug 27, 2021 by Freetime
	Aug. 26, ODAT - According to my will (Preview) Today's story tells of a man's struggle with his spouse's occasional program lapses. Al-Anon reminds him to instead rejoice in her successful periods of sobriety, to appreciate her effort, and not to take on her problems with alcohol. TODAY'S REMINDER: When we slip into responsibility or fixing m...	Bbrave	7	2065	Aug 26, 2021 by DM2021
	I see big and subtle improvements (Preview) Sometimes, I don't always recognize my own growth, or I am critical of the pace of my growth. Today was an emotional , stressful day. My daughters boyfriend whom we have come to love and appreciate relapsed/slipped. Upon hearing the news, I did not sleep at all well last night and found myself feelin...	serenity47	5	371	Aug 26, 2021 by Iamhere
	8/24 ODAT – Honesty > Lifetime of Growth (Preview) At some point in our Alanon journey, our appreciation deepens for the role of honesty and candor in our recovery. This often is accompanied by acknowledgement that our behavior at times, like the alcoholic's, has been neither sane or rational; progress...This may not be the end of the Alanon journe...	Enigmatic	8	1365	Aug 25, 2021 by Enigmatic
	Alcoholic Brother (Preview) I buried a memory from when I was 12 years old. I saw my brother hiding liquor bottles in his room. He was also smoking marijuana. I was asleep at night when he came into my room and stuck his hand down my nightgown. My life has been a rollercoaster ever since. It ruined my marriage and caused me a lot of harm....	annt	3	1417	Aug 25, 2021 by annt
	Courage to Change August 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on how students learn to play the piano - they start with just a few keys and one hand, eventually adding a second hand and more keys, until they are using all the keys on the piano from the low bass to the high treble. The author considers how in Al-Anon,...	Skorpi	3	356	Aug 25, 2021 by DM2021
	C2C, 8/23, making mistakes (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 8/23, the member talks about the fear of making mistakes. This could bring accusations and abuse from the alcoholic, as well as themself. The slightest error felt huge which they could not let go of. Yet the member struggled to give the appearance of perfect self-contro...	Lyne	7	748	Aug 24, 2021 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Aug 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about how we might seek answers, changes, self worth, from people and/or situations outside of ourselves. The writer describes coming to al-anon looking for answers. The writer looked to parents, friends, partners etc: looking everywhere except Highe...	yanksfan51	2	309	Aug 22, 2021 by yanksfan51
	Aug. 19, ODAT - Compassion (Preview) Today's reading is about the consequences of my attitude, and calls for compassion for our qualifiers. Our behaviour (contempt, indignation, neglect) is ego-destroying, and the ego of the drinker is already painfully battered by guilt and fear. TODAY'S REMINDER: My spouse is a child of God, and...	Bbrave	9	2204	Aug 22, 2021 by Im
	Help understanding: Keep the focus on me (Preview) I would love words of wisdom here from members as to how this phrase keep the focus on me relates to them/how it is used in their relationships with their Q. New mantra to consider for me. I think it will be helpful as I will shift the focus from Why did my ABF do/not do x,y,z? ... I am beginning to understand i...	Im	6	392	Aug 21, 2021 by JerryF
	August 21st, C2C, Live and let live (Preview) In today's reading the author talks about struggling to understand the slogan, "Live and Let Live". They asked themselves the question "how do I turn my eyes on myself and 'live' for the first time in my life?" Their sponsor asked them a question in turn - "what have you done earlier today?" Although t...	Bettertomorrow	5	345	Aug 21, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 21 Hope for Today - Decision Making (Preview) In today's reading an Alanon member recalls reacting negatively as a child when their parents told them what to do. Examples of how they responded as a child were with angry compliance or rebellious refusal. They felt controlled. As an adult and member of Alanon they volunteer for service to their Al...	tiredtonite	3	276	Aug 21, 2021 by DM2021
	progress not perfection (Preview) There (for me) is no way of measuring perfection and so I stay away from the subject. I am certainly not qualified to discuss that subject but then how do I handle progress? I can inventory honestly the recovery attributes of in this case my significant (very) other, Al-Anon spouse with my Higher Po...	JerryF	8	424	Aug 20, 2021 by JerryF
	Back again - hitting meeting tomorrow (Preview) I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart. We spoke...	Im	3	316	Aug 20, 2021 by JerryF
	August 20 - Intimacy Book (Preview) The first chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships has members' shares about various experiences about how someone else's alcoholism affected their feelings about their own value, their sexual relationships, and their need for closeness and intimacy. On page 24, a member shares that i...	Freetime	2	301	Aug 20, 2021 by DM2021
	Aug. 12, ODAT - Old habits die hard (Preview) In today's reading we receive some pretty direct advice about how to manage (not manage) our alcoholic. We must overcome our habit of setting standards for them and expecting those standards to be followed (whether or not this person is still drinking or sober or in AA). Expecting what we believe sho...	Bbrave	5	1091	Aug 20, 2021 by Im
	8/17/21 C2C – Defects of Character… (Preview) ...unhealthy survival mechanisms we developed in a difficult environment, but have outgrown? Assets that have lost proportion? Perhaps...regardless of how we feel about them, Alanon allows us to face them honestly, but without feeling we are responsible for removing them all ourselves. We are...	Enigmatic	5	2353	Aug 19, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change August 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Six: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. The author describes how they deal with requests for endo...	Skorpi	5	1569	Aug 19, 2021 by a4l
	ODAT in alanon, harsh words (Preview) In the reading for Monday, August 16th, the writer shares that harsh words and accusations can be used against the alcoholic. This can cause damage, and asks why we risk hurting someone who is already hurting? The author also asks if they are punishing the drinker or relieving their own pent-up fee...	Lyne	4	782	Aug 16, 2021 by DM2021
	Dry Drunk spouse (Preview) Hello everyone! I stumbled on this forum today when googling something and realized I created an account here about five years ago right before DH overdosed and got sober. I am so grateful to have found this again. Im back in al anon and loving it. So many useful tools to remind me to keep in my lane. im wo...	Prissykitty	10	408	Aug 16, 2021 by Lyne
	Hope for Today Aug 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the role fear can play in our lives. The writer describes fear as a catalyst for any character defects that may have been lying dormant. The writer describes the defects as seeming to be powered off, but when fear comes into play they are charged and get m...	yanksfan51	3	1271	Aug 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Growth and gratitude (Preview) I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for. I am so delighted that it is true what they say about an attitude of gratitude and how it continues to multiply. When I step into gratitude, life gives me more to be grateful for. It is whale season where I am, and every time I see a moth...	a4l	10	1271	Aug 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 14th Hope for Today - Feelings (Preview) Today's reading discusses and offers tools for acknowledging feelings and processing them. In this reading, the Al-anon member recalls making choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Examples given are confusion, fear, anger. The person found that these unresolved feelings were a poor...	tiredtonite	7	1172	Aug 14, 2021 by JerryF
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.