The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author notes that our incredible human adaptability used to navigate difficulties early in our experience may be drawn upon even after we learn it is harmful to ourselves and others.
Persistent use of one of these adaptations, manipulation, can leave rust on more effective, direct approaches of discussion and request, even leading us to forget these as possibilities.
Reminder: Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception.
"We can choose to behave with personal integrity, not because it will make someone else feel better, but because it reflects a way of living that enriches and heals us." - In All Our Affairs --------------------------- Until I paused and thoroughly, honestly reviewed my tendencies and the motives behind them, I assumed that what I did was necessary, justified, and most effective. Alanon helped me first consider that this may not be the case.
Sneaky manipulation was never really my thing, but my forceful and persistent beat downs were also manipulative and my go-to tool for getting done what I felt should/needed to be.
Steps 1-3 remind me of my place and of the need to let go and leave room for the higher power of others to work, I am not that for them nor should I engage in actions and behavior that assume that role.
Grateful for the wisdom and reminders of Alanon
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and for all above ESH. Thinking back, I really became as sneaky as my A so I could spy, attempt to control, and my go-to-behavior of trying to force solutions. Thank God I very rarely have a set back causing me to resume those behaviors. I do not want to do those anymore. I much prefer acceptance, understanding, compassion, minding my own business, live and let live, pause, think, etc., etc., etc. Program has enriched my life and I am grateful every single day.
