Emotional Abuse - Al-Anon Family Group

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: Emotional Abuse

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

No worries. What happens when you just hang up on him or tell him "I don't see myself that way" with regard to name calling you or say in regard to son "If I am told you are cursing at our 3 year old or calling him names, I'm going to be put in a position to report it as abuse?" You seem to understand the boundary concept well.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

He has started reporting me to the police. However, they know him well so they just phone me and basically laugh it off.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow. Truth, I would just not want you hurt by what he says...that makes it turn to abuse rather than just writing him off as sick...Your kid is another matter.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

It is abuse. I knew the moment I got pregnant. It only took one incident. I did get hurt. To this day he still denies it took place. The intimidation has stopped so I guess that boundary is working.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

I should say "physical" intimidation.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

Lately, he absolutely detests his mom. She is in both programs and while she is in both programs and has some weaknesses. She is a good person and tries very hard.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks everyone for listening. I needed to get it all out so I know where to start again. It is just frustrating when trying to move on. I am here today and I am grateful for the support.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

I also forgot to mention. He hurt himself physically (beat himself up) and randomly showed up on my doorstep. I sent him to the hospital. It is just getting really strange. I am concerned about sending my son with him.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Might not hurt to call DCF.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

The disease doesn't want change. It just wants to survive. You are wise to be concerned about sending a 3 year old with a man who is being destroyed by a disease over which he has no control. When I was a small child, my aunt came home from college to find that my grandmother had tied me onto a chair. A big fight between them occurred and my aunt left home over it. The experience must have been extremely traumatic for me because I have no memory of it. My aunt told me what happened when I was older. It was a total surprise to me because I loved my grandma and was too innocent to know I was in danger with her when she was drinking or suffering from the other effects of the disease but my psyche must have known it. It shut off all memories of being tied in a chair. If the memory closed down, I wouldn't have been able to tell anybody what happened to me. My aunt saw it and looked after me as a healthy adult who saw the danger I was in at the hands of my alcoholic grandmother who was like Jekyll and Hyde.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you and I am very sorry you experienced that. I love it when healthy adults can recognize it though. I call people like your aunt "earth angels"

I feel much better today. I have a plan I bought my son a cell phone and I am trying to teach him if he is scared to call 911. I will just pray he understood. I know my son loves his father very much. I would never take that away from him. It is just a balancing act right now because of his age. I do understand the long term effects of name calling etc so it is tough situation. I cannot change the court order until we have a mediation session which is in one month. Until then I will take care of me and my son. He goes for his visit today. I am sure it will be fine because it is short.

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

That is how I describe the behavior as well Jekyll and Hyde.

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