Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

flintfeet · flintfeet

yesturday i broke down to my hubbie about how i have been feeling. i feel like no one understands including him. my dad is the A and it hurts me and the rest of our family. my husband is the most amazing man, and is always supportive. but a few weeks ago he made a comment like saying "don't get all worked up b/c...

flintfeet · flintfeet

all i keep thinking about is my dad. i wonder if he is thinking of me too. i wonder if he is blitzed out of his mind or thinking of his family.i know the answer to that...he is drunk. if he's not, he's thinking of how to numb the feeling of his family. i feel sorry for him.

nycbt · nycbt

I am doing good this welek. I have good days he hasn 't gone drinking. I am working on my step 3. I am setting up to be in mirc/op. If everything goes well I will be one for tom morning. Here some saying: "There is no good reason why we should not develop and change until the last day we live." by Karen Hor...

Audrey · Audrey

Well I finally did it! I Let Go! After reading the Post by Tea2 last week over and over again, I realized it was time. Last night I had to take my son to a dr appt. My a husband, oh like so many other nights, decided to stop at a bar on the way home from work, which mean...

Emafer · Emafer

I was just wondering if anyone knows of a study or just in general has experience with a highly intelligent alcoholic. I've found that ao many alcoholics and addicts I know are highly intelligent, and highly aware of thier own pain and therefore find drinking and drugging as an easy solution to...

penny · penny

Hi This is my first time posting on any site whatsoever so please bear with me. Briefly my fella has had a problem with drink for the last 6 years but the past 8 months have been the worst. He has been in rehab a couple of times but got nothing out of it. He has tried AA , 4 weeks sober then...

Alexandrite1313 · Alexandrite1313

Again, thank you all for your replies and the warm welcome. After reading a few posts and realising I wasn't alone and that my case wasn't much different than anyone else living with an A, I decided that I do belong in here. I needed a place to relate, a place where I knew I wouldn't be judge or TOLD what to do...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have not spoken to my dad in weeks, and i am sad. i feel like i have no closure with him b/c we didn't talk about the situation. if you try to have a conversation that is confrentaional, he blocks you out, asks you to leave, and then pretends that nothing happened. so i figured i would send him...

marmare · marmare

I didn't get the job I interviewed for but I'm not sad or disappointed! The actual job was a little different then the ad, as it would have mainly been bookkeeping, which I don't have experience at, I would have been secluded in an office, my personality needs customer interaction. ...

Cyn · Cyn

Hey all I started my new job this week and I cannot get onto the chat room when I am here :(. My hours are crazy since I work from 8am -5 at one job and then off to the other one till almost 10pm so by the time I get home - I am so shot that I dont want to be online chatting. I cant even go to my f2f anymore :(.&n...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's me again, always trying to understand everything. So, explain to me why AA and Al-anon teaches us that we are not supposed to expect love in return from a marriage to an addict. We are only supposed to care for ourself, take care of ourself etc. Of course we can't force someone to lov...

nmike · nmike

My A has basically abandoned this relationship. He said that he didn't want to be in a marital relationship with me - that he loses himself, he only has short time left to do the things that he wants to do which includes golf. This is after 32 years and he says he never wanted to be here. He says that the only r...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone! Some of you may remember me telling you about a guy I met around Thanksgiving. Things were going very well until this past weekend. I saw some red flags, but waited a little more. Before Alanon, I would have made excuses for his behavior and hung around some more to be treated poorly and pu...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

ok, i am in the s*** house with my sister (we grew up as sisters but are BIO cousins) anway, her hubby 2 weeks ago, had heart attack....i was at the very same time doing this AWFUL workbook and going into crying /grief mode....i put off MY work, for a couple of days ti...

GSDGIRL36 · GSDGIRL36

My husband left rehab this weekend,...he made 11 days. I had mixed feelings on it, I wanted him to be home, we all missed him, but I wanted him to stay. Searching my feelings I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't that I didn't think he was ready...to be honest I don't know how many days that takes. He'd...

Cyn · Cyn

Well - a positive update for me - I spent almost all of last week entertaining the guy I met in Chicago for 3 days. It was probably one of the best times I have ever had with anyone - easy, enjoyable, never laughed so hard in my entire life. He is sweet and kind and treated me very well. H...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i am not sure about how to start the right way of changing things. i have no contact with my dad, so i no longer inable him. it's hard for me b/c i have 2 kids (1yr &3yr) that LOVE papaw. i am strong and too proud of a person to go back on my word to have contact with him. although i feel like i am taking t...

Emafer · Emafer

I fee like over the last several months I've been hit by blow after blow regarding my relationships. Grantes, these were clearly not the right men for me, but it's hard for me to not take things personally. My first inclination is to think "Why not me? What's wrong with me?" No, I realize that I'm not real...

flintfeet · flintfeet

like i have told many of you...i have epilepsy & therefore do not drive. so i can't get to the meetings. i think maybe this is an excuse for not going. i thought about it today, and realized i think i am ashamed. i want to speak out about my situation, but i don't want anyone to know how much it bugs...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Roomies, A while back I read from Courage to Change an entry that explores the idea of not only making amends to others, but to oneself. As I approach February, the month of valentines, friendship, and love, I am considering spending this month with a special intention of loving myself, and t...

YKnot · YKnot

I thought my son was my ally against alcohol but I have recently found out that he is a drinker, too, just like his stepmom. Now I am realizing I am alone in the struggle. Not just alone, but devasted with two "A's" in my immediate family circle. My son has been stealing from me -- anything and everything fr...

Alexandrite1313 · Alexandrite1313

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who replied to my post yesterday. It gave me some insight and of course, we all have our opinions and it helps to have different feedbacks. I haven't used your replies to make a decision of course on how I will continue living with an A since my s...

megan · megan

A good MIP friend gave me a screw. It is in a case with the saying "use as needed to let you know you are never truly alone you have alanon and the MIP family." My life at this moment is a perfect storm of stress and I have been using the screw as needed like ALOT. I am on a business trip to Texas an...

Bigus · Bigus

I just recently started attending Al-Anon meetings...while I find them very helpful in that I can associate with people that undestand what I have been through. But I truly don't buy into some of the beliefs in the meetings, not that they're bad things, nor do I want to offend anyone..I don't se...

John · John

This is simply a notice that all Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums chat rooms will be moved to a new dedicated server, that is solely for the use of Miracles In Progress. This change will be fully initiated on Sunday, January 22nd, 2006. It is our greatest hope that all ops/chai...

flintfeet · flintfeet

this might make some of you mad. so i apologize ahead of time. i keep hearing people blame it on the diease. i can't grasp that concept. i am supposed to be understanding b/c he can't help it? i think it is bull. why am i the one who has to "fix" myself when he is the one with the problem? i feel like he has no ac...

debilyn · debilyn

There was this guy who got stopped around here not long ago and was sited for drunk driving. He was belligerant, hit a cop, non compliant, uncooperative and Had to be subdued with spray then he was physically restrained. He refused the sobriety test. It was later found out he was diabetic...

sdisnie · sdisnie

First of all, I think the whole co-dependent thing is a crock. Everyone has to be dependent (not all the time) but a lot of times in your life. That is why we have friends and family, if you can't ever break down and be needy somethings, it would be a cold cold world. I don't believe I'm totally co-dependent...

marmare · marmare

I haven't been here a lot recently and have missed all of you and the board. First let me tell you that my A is still clean & sober! The grumpiness has worn off and he is being more attentive. My second son was home on leave with his family and they left yesterday to go back to AZ.&n...

bd · bd

Before christmas my sister and i had developed what i believed to be a new relationship. Up to that point we had not talked for over a year. We spent christmas together at my parents and things seemed fine. Over the last few weeks we have made plans numerous times to meet for dinner.&...

nycbt · nycbt

I am getting better. Today I was confortable on the internet but he wanted to go to his friends house and show he friend how to do some cooking. I am lucky he does cook. However while we were walking in the house he ask me when will he be able to have his key back and it was not right that I wouldn't let him have. S...

lin0606 · lin0606

Yesterday at work, a co worker, a woman I don't know very well, came up to me to talk. "You've got teenagers too", she said. "Are you having trouble with power struggles between your husband and son?" I almost blurted out "My husband is a recovering drunk and crack addict. Believe me, his plate is fu...

Rebecca · Rebecca

guys.. this might seem like the stupidest question ever,... but a friend at work asked me it..and i didnt know the answer... .....does and alcoholic pass on the "addiction" genes to his/her children? is it in fact hereditory? ..(i know my ex's grandmother was fond of her drink but no one else in...

jersey1 · jersey1

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty, to provide you w...

Alexandrite1313 · Alexandrite1313

This is my first time actually surfing this site. I am not sure how to start or even where to start or if I really need a site like this one, but if I want to know if I am going through right now is a problem, where else could I go?! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. We decided to move in t...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i feel bad for something i said. my last words to my father were that "you are going to die alone!" that was after he said he would rather drink than see his family. i feel kind of bad for what i said. my bro thinks it was wrong to say, but i truely feel that way and felt like i just wanted him to know. i know that my...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i think i just need a moment to vent, so here goes... i am the "proud" daughter of an alcoholic who has managed to ruin his entire world. my story would take forever to tell you. but the basics-alcoholic dad that swears he isn't drinking, has had 2 strokes,seizures,...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Okay, we've all made it past the holiday season, and if you're like me, you are suffering from the January blahs.... Maybe it's time to post "round two" of some good old fashioned recovery jokes!! Please feel free to add to the list, and/or to laugh out loud! Tom If an alcholi...

marmare · marmare

After three months of applying for jobs, I once again applied for one, an office manager position at a retirement/assisted living community. I stopped at my in-laws this morning and my mother in-law faxed my cover letter and resume. Within one hour I got a call for an interview, for tomo...

flintfeet · flintfeet

thanks for the warm welcome to those of you that reply. unfortunatly i'm not sure if i can participate in a local alanon program. i have epilepsy (& do not drive). i have a hard enough time trying to have people take me to the store, my kids to school, and so on. so i think i'll start here, a...

browneyes · browneyes

Hey guys-hope all is well I have been very busy getting ready for school to start, getting my kids set in daycare, and filing for divorce. things have been quiet since my husband is in jail. But I am stressing out at times because of my children and all of the changes, financial issues,et...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Yesterday, I started to feel that ancient tug-a-war inside myself to call/not call my ex. I wanted to call. Here's what I thought: "What's the harm? It's been two weeks; I'm all better now, and I'd just be checking in..."When I have these thoughts I know it's my own disease trying to trick me. My ex and...

gardengal · gardengal

A friend who was a co-worker and a member of AA told me I needed to go to alanon. I didnt understand how alanon could possibly help my situation, She said my spouse's drinking wasnt my problem, I insisted it was. If my spouse stopped drinking, that would solve all my problems. (Does this sound fami...

endoftherope · endoftherope

I hate him for making promises to me over and over but never keeps them, and probably never will. I hate him for being so mean and constantly pointing out my insignificant flaws to justify what he's doing evertime I bring it up, I also hate him for always down grading my recent...

confused · confused

I thought I would begin to feel better as I began to work on me but I am just so lost right now. I do not know what to do with myself, my decisions, my life. My A is still staying at his dad's. I miss him, but don't tell him that very often. I am so scared of getting sucked back in that I think I am building a wall arou...

allison · allison

Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

This post has been removed and is being reviewed for content. A reminder that long quotes or articles need to be from Al-Anon and 12-Step approved circles. A decision will be made on this post shortly. -- Edited by canadianguy at 16:06, 2006-01-16

nycbt · nycbt

I am on step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I am reading a book called "a WOMAN'S WAY THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS" BY STEPHANIE S. COVINGTON, PH.D I am reading in step three and something hits me one of the reason I don't want to let go becaus...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Have asked my husband to leave. He's considering it, but I intend to stick to my guns and make him go. I need the space. Needless to say I am a nervous wreck and so emotionally down, but I still feel good about the situation. It's called self-preservation, him or me.&nb...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Are all alcoholics so arrogant? My husband could be the poster child of it. He is always better than everyone else - especially when he drinks. When we would go out - he would zero in on someone and start picking on them. He's very sarcastic and cruel - he seems to know a person'...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this...... &nb...

greeneyedgirl · greeneyedgirl

Hi all, Okay, I give up and give in...there's no way i'm not hitting a meeting tonight. Here's why: Today is my scheduled payday. My company in the last couple of weeks has been going through a transition of changing from one payroll company to the next, so they made sure to tell us that we needed...

elizabeth · elizabeth

just got this from a good friend, thought i would pass it along...... Horse-Sense Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing. Lookin...

Flora123 · Flora123

Well, this time, I am not taking it personally!!! But, am less than pleased to be blacklisted again. I have tried all of Edna's recommendations - still cant get into chat. It is your loss, I had some fascinating, inspirational things to say..... too bad you missed them. Dear John, give th...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, An update and post to vent my sorrow and joy over this weekend. After being pleasantly surprised Thursday night coming home to a picked up house and awake husband, who even had a light on in the house, and was sitting UP on the couch

I stayed home from work Friday to h...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

Thank you, guys who were in the chat room last night, when I needed you, you were there. Someone told me to take care of myself………that helped me immensely. He just left about 2 hours ago…I feel relief, regret, sadness….with a little trickle of hope. My “A” and me did...

Barbara · Barbara

I'll be 50 next year but still I look for someone to take care of me. For example my Dad use to be the one who locked up the house at night growing up. I expected my A husband to do the same but realized a while ago that he cant do this. He puts himself to bed and thats it. We dont even say goodnight to each other. I d...

mebjk · mebjk

Hello, all, I am still struggling with an in-law. I think I gave him too much credit - probably had expectations I shouldn't have had for him - and thought we could work through some long held feelings. I - unfairly, I think now - brought up the past, which is something he cannot change. He is an importan...

allison · allison

He treats me awful 95% of the time and all I ever wanted was for him to leave.Now that he`s gone all I do is cry cause I miss him...what is wrong with me? I feel like I can`t go on without him when deep down I know I`ve done it for years.Just because he lived here doesn`t mean he was here..does that make sense? I`...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Help, I'm so confused. My husband has been an alcoholic for all of the 18 years we've been married and before. While young thought he would grow out of his party attitude - but hasn't. I suffered alot through the years - being left alone to raise the kids, to going through illnesses b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	broke down (Preview) yesturday i broke down to my hubbie about how i have been feeling. i feel like no one understands including him. my dad is the A and it hurts me and the rest of our family. my husband is the most amazing man, and is always supportive. but a few weeks ago he made a comment like saying "don't get all worked up b/c...	flintfeet	3	429	Jan 20, 2006 by abbyal
	all i can think about (Preview) all i keep thinking about is my dad. i wonder if he is thinking of me too. i wonder if he is blitzed out of his mind or thinking of his family.i know the answer to that...he is drunk. if he's not, he's thinking of how to numb the feeling of his family. i feel sorry for him.	flintfeet	3	405	Jan 20, 2006 by abbyal
	ok (Preview) I am doing good this welek. I have good days he hasn 't gone drinking. I am working on my step 3. I am setting up to be in mirc/op. If everything goes well I will be one for tom morning. Here some saying: "There is no good reason why we should not develop and change until the last day we live." by Karen Hor...	nycbt	2	336	Jan 20, 2006 by Rebecca
	I Let Go!!! (Preview) Well I finally did it! I Let Go! After reading the Post by Tea2 last week over and over again, I realized it was time. Last night I had to take my son to a dr appt. My a husband, oh like so many other nights, decided to stop at a bar on the way home from work, which mean...	Audrey	4	463	Jan 20, 2006 by Gailey
	Alcoholism and high intelligence? (Preview) I was just wondering if anyone knows of a study or just in general has experience with a highly intelligent alcoholic. I've found that ao many alcoholics and addicts I know are highly intelligent, and highly aware of thier own pain and therefore find drinking and drugging as an easy solution to...	Emafer	14	3047	Jan 20, 2006 by ashraven
	New to this (Preview) Hi This is my first time posting on any site whatsoever so please bear with me. Briefly my fella has had a problem with drink for the last 6 years but the past 8 months have been the worst. He has been in rehab a couple of times but got nothing out of it. He has tried AA , 4 weeks sober then...	penny	5	434	Jan 20, 2006 by flintfeet
	My Decision (Preview) Again, thank you all for your replies and the warm welcome. After reading a few posts and realising I wasn't alone and that my case wasn't much different than anyone else living with an A, I decided that I do belong in here. I needed a place to relate, a place where I knew I wouldn't be judge or TOLD what to do...	Alexandrite1313	3	391	Jan 20, 2006 by hudsond
	what do u think? (Preview) i have not spoken to my dad in weeks, and i am sad. i feel like i have no closure with him b/c we didn't talk about the situation. if you try to have a conversation that is confrentaional, he blocks you out, asks you to leave, and then pretends that nothing happened. so i figured i would send him...	flintfeet	2	305	Jan 20, 2006 by rosie light shines
	But I'm not sad (Preview) I didn't get the job I interviewed for but I'm not sad or disappointed! The actual job was a little different then the ad, as it would have mainly been bookkeeping, which I don't have experience at, I would have been secluded in an office, my personality needs customer interaction. ...	marmare	4	417	Jan 20, 2006 by leo
	Miss you guys (Preview) Hey all I started my new job this week and I cannot get onto the chat room when I am here :(. My hours are crazy since I work from 8am -5 at one job and then off to the other one till almost 10pm so by the time I get home - I am so shot that I dont want to be online chatting. I cant even go to my f2f anymore :(.&n...	Cyn	4	348	Jan 20, 2006 by sandie123
	Explain to me..... (Preview) It's me again, always trying to understand everything. So, explain to me why AA and Al-anon teaches us that we are not supposed to expect love in return from a marriage to an addict. We are only supposed to care for ourself, take care of ourself etc. Of course we can't force someone to lov...	sdisnie	7	482	Jan 20, 2006 by northstar
	Called an attorney (Preview) My A has basically abandoned this relationship. He said that he didn't want to be in a marital relationship with me - that he loses himself, he only has short time left to do the things that he wants to do which includes golf. This is after 32 years and he says he never wanted to be here. He says that the only r...	nmike	4	411	Jan 20, 2006 by leo
	Pulling The Doormat Sign Off My Forehead (Preview) Hi everyone! Some of you may remember me telling you about a guy I met around Thanksgiving. Things were going very well until this past weekend. I saw some red flags, but waited a little more. Before Alanon, I would have made excuses for his behavior and hung around some more to be treated poorly and pu...	kissers	10	485	Jan 19, 2006 by kissers
	is it a CRIME for me to get MY needs met???? (Preview) ok, i am in the s* house with my sister (we grew up as sisters but are BIO cousins) anway, her hubby 2 weeks ago, had heart attack....i was at the very same time doing this AWFUL workbook and going into crying /grief mode....i put off MY work, for a couple of days ti...**	rosie light shines	7	490	Jan 19, 2006 by notsonew1111
	He's Back (Preview) My husband left rehab this weekend,...he made 11 days. I had mixed feelings on it, I wanted him to be home, we all missed him, but I wanted him to stay. Searching my feelings I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't that I didn't think he was ready...to be honest I don't know how many days that takes. He'd...	GSDGIRL36	5	354	Jan 19, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Feel like I havent been on in FOREVER (Preview) Well - a positive update for me - I spent almost all of last week entertaining the guy I met in Chicago for 3 days. It was probably one of the best times I have ever had with anyone - easy, enjoyable, never laughed so hard in my entire life. He is sweet and kind and treated me very well. H...	Cyn	6	378	Jan 19, 2006 by notsonew1111
	the right way? (Preview) i am not sure about how to start the right way of changing things. i have no contact with my dad, so i no longer inable him. it's hard for me b/c i have 2 kids (1yr &3yr) that LOVE papaw. i am strong and too proud of a person to go back on my word to have contact with him. although i feel like i am taking t...	flintfeet	6	466	Jan 19, 2006 by maresie
	I feel like I keep getting hit (Preview) I fee like over the last several months I've been hit by blow after blow regarding my relationships. Grantes, these were clearly not the right men for me, but it's hard for me to not take things personally. My first inclination is to think "Why not me? What's wrong with me?" No, I realize that I'm not real...	Emafer	7	375	Jan 19, 2006 by maresie
	ashamed! (Preview) like i have told many of you...i have epilepsy & therefore do not drive. so i can't get to the meetings. i think maybe this is an excuse for not going. i thought about it today, and realized i think i am ashamed. i want to speak out about my situation, but i don't want anyone to know how much it bugs...	flintfeet	8	599	Jan 19, 2006 by angelinme908
	Making Amends To One's Self (Preview) Dear Roomies, A while back I read from Courage to Change an entry that explores the idea of not only making amends to others, but to oneself. As I approach February, the month of valentines, friendship, and love, I am considering spending this month with a special intention of loving myself, and t...	BlueCloud	2	441	Jan 19, 2006 by maresie
	My Son Has Been Lying to Me (Preview) I thought my son was my ally against alcohol but I have recently found out that he is a drinker, too, just like his stepmom. Now I am realizing I am alone in the struggle. Not just alone, but devasted with two "A's" in my immediate family circle. My son has been stealing from me -- anything and everything fr...	YKnot	6	522	Jan 19, 2006 by lalarainbow
	Should I tell him about this place? (Preview) Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who replied to my post yesterday. It gave me some insight and of course, we all have our opinions and it helps to have different feedbacks. I haven't used your replies to make a decision of course on how I will continue living with an A since my s...	Alexandrite1313	5	715	Jan 19, 2006 by maresie
	My MIP screw (Preview) A good MIP friend gave me a screw. It is in a case with the saying "use as needed to let you know you are never truly alone you have alanon and the MIP family." My life at this moment is a perfect storm of stress and I have been using the screw as needed like ALOT. I am on a business trip to Texas an...	megan	12	743	Jan 19, 2006 by Rebecca
	New here seeking guidance... (Preview) I just recently started attending Al-Anon meetings...while I find them very helpful in that I can associate with people that undestand what I have been through. But I truly don't buy into some of the beliefs in the meetings, not that they're bad things, nor do I want to offend anyone..I don't se...	Bigus	13	715	Jan 19, 2006 by Bigus
	Chat Rooms and Server Upgraded! (Please Read) (Preview) This is simply a notice that all Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums chat rooms will be moved to a new dedicated server, that is solely for the use of Miracles In Progress. This change will be fully initiated on Sunday, January 22nd, 2006. It is our greatest hope that all ops/chai...	John	0	353	Jan 19, 2006 by John
	u might get mad... (Preview) this might make some of you mad. so i apologize ahead of time. i keep hearing people blame it on the diease. i can't grasp that concept. i am supposed to be understanding b/c he can't help it? i think it is bull. why am i the one who has to "fix" myself when he is the one with the problem? i feel like he has no ac...	flintfeet	14	874	Jan 19, 2006 by gogogirl
	We do not control A guilt (Preview) There was this guy who got stopped around here not long ago and was sited for drunk driving. He was belligerant, hit a cop, non compliant, uncooperative and Had to be subdued with spray then he was physically restrained. He refused the sobriety test. It was later found out he was diabetic...	debilyn	1	321	Jan 19, 2006 by just me
	UPDATE on: Is there still hope? (Preview) First of all, I think the whole co-dependent thing is a crock. Everyone has to be dependent (not all the time) but a lot of times in your life. That is why we have friends and family, if you can't ever break down and be needy somethings, it would be a cold cold world. I don't believe I'm totally co-dependent...	sdisnie	7	457	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	I realized.... (Preview) I haven't been here a lot recently and have missed all of you and the board. First let me tell you that my A is still clean & sober! The grumpiness has worn off and he is being more attentive. My second son was home on leave with his family and they left yesterday to go back to AZ.&n...	marmare	7	415	Jan 18, 2006 by notsonew1111
	my sister (Preview) Before christmas my sister and i had developed what i believed to be a new relationship. Up to that point we had not talked for over a year. We spent christmas together at my parents and things seemed fine. Over the last few weeks we have made plans numerous times to meet for dinner.&...	bd	4	330	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	I am getting better (Preview) I am getting better. Today I was confortable on the internet but he wanted to go to his friends house and show he friend how to do some cooking. I am lucky he does cook. However while we were walking in the house he ask me when will he be able to have his key back and it was not right that I wouldn't let him have. S...	nycbt	3	297	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	Anonymity (Preview) Yesterday at work, a co worker, a woman I don't know very well, came up to me to talk. "You've got teenagers too", she said. "Are you having trouble with power struggles between your husband and son?" I almost blurted out "My husband is a recovering drunk and crack addict. Believe me, his plate is fu...	lin0606	12	1256	Jan 18, 2006 by gogogirl
	question for ye.... (Preview) guys.. this might seem like the stupidest question ever,... but a friend at work asked me it..and i didnt know the answer... .....does and alcoholic pass on the "addiction" genes to his/her children? is it in fact hereditory? ..(i know my ex's grandmother was fond of her drink but no one else in...	Rebecca	6	499	Jan 18, 2006 by Christy
	a reason a season a lifetime (Preview) People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty, to provide you w...	jersey1	0	320	Jan 18, 2006 by jersey1
	Do We Have a Problem? (Preview) This is my first time actually surfing this site. I am not sure how to start or even where to start or if I really need a site like this one, but if I want to know if I am going through right now is a problem, where else could I go?! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. We decided to move in t...	Alexandrite1313	8	404	Jan 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	dying alone (Preview) i feel bad for something i said. my last words to my father were that "you are going to die alone!" that was after he said he would rather drink than see his family. i feel kind of bad for what i said. my bro thinks it was wrong to say, but i truely feel that way and felt like i just wanted him to know. i know that my...	flintfeet	4	404	Jan 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	first timer here... (Preview) i think i just need a moment to vent, so here goes... i am the "proud" daughter of an alcoholic who has managed to ruin his entire world. my story would take forever to tell you. but the basics-alcoholic dad that swears he isn't drinking, has had 2 strokes,seizures,...	flintfeet	4	306	Jan 18, 2006 by marmare
	Recovery Humor, the sequel (Preview) Okay, we've all made it past the holiday season, and if you're like me, you are suffering from the January blahs.... Maybe it's time to post "round two" of some good old fashioned recovery jokes!! Please feel free to add to the list, and/or to laugh out loud! Tom If an alcholi...	canadianguy	6	542	Jan 18, 2006 by JulieLynn
	Just a little prayer (Preview) After three months of applying for jobs, I once again applied for one, an office manager position at a retirement/assisted living community. I stopped at my in-laws this morning and my mother in-law faxed my cover letter and resume. Within one hour I got a call for an interview, for tomo...	marmare	6	336	Jan 18, 2006 by Karilynn
	local programs :( (Preview) thanks for the warm welcome to those of you that reply. unfortunatly i'm not sure if i can participate in a local alanon program. i have epilepsy (& do not drive). i have a hard enough time trying to have people take me to the store, my kids to school, and so on. so i think i'll start here, a...	flintfeet	2	300	Jan 18, 2006 by cdb
	Need some support,please (Preview) Hey guys-hope all is well I have been very busy getting ready for school to start, getting my kids set in daycare, and filing for divorce. things have been quiet since my husband is in jail. But I am stressing out at times because of my children and all of the changes, financial issues,et...	browneyes	8	382	Jan 17, 2006 by browneyes
	Getting Back On Track (Preview) Yesterday, I started to feel that ancient tug-a-war inside myself to call/not call my ex. I wanted to call. Here's what I thought: "What's the harm? It's been two weeks; I'm all better now, and I'd just be checking in..."When I have these thoughts I know it's my own disease trying to trick me. My ex and...	BlueCloud	3	343	Jan 17, 2006 by BlueCloud
	HANGING ONTO SERENITY (Preview) A friend who was a co-worker and a member of AA told me I needed to go to alanon. I didnt understand how alanon could possibly help my situation, She said my spouse's drinking wasnt my problem, I insisted it was. If my spouse stopped drinking, that would solve all my problems. (Does this sound fami...	gardengal	3	376	Jan 17, 2006 by nycbt
	Fed up. (Preview) I hate him for making promises to me over and over but never keeps them, and probably never will. I hate him for being so mean and constantly pointing out my insignificant flaws to justify what he's doing evertime I bring it up, I also hate him for always down grading my recent...	endoftherope	9	414	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	pretending i'm ok (Preview) I thought I would begin to feel better as I began to work on me but I am just so lost right now. I do not know what to do with myself, my decisions, my life. My A is still staying at his dad's. I miss him, but don't tell him that very often. I am so scared of getting sucked back in that I think I am building a wall arou...	confused	6	408	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	a question (Preview) Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of t...	allison	5	372	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	Co-dependency article (Preview) This post has been removed and is being reviewed for content. A reminder that long quotes or articles need to be from Al-Anon and 12-Step approved circles. A decision will be made on this post shortly. -- Edited by canadianguy at 16:06, 2006-01-16	sdisnie	1	418	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	hmm so true (Preview) I am on step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I am reading a book called "a WOMAN'S WAY THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS" BY STEPHANIE S. COVINGTON, PH.D I am reading in step three and something hits me one of the reason I don't want to let go becaus...	nycbt	1	407	Jan 17, 2006 by just me
	Started the ball rolling, God give me the strength to continue (Preview) Have asked my husband to leave. He's considering it, but I intend to stick to my guns and make him go. I need the space. Needless to say I am a nervous wreck and so emotionally down, but I still feel good about the situation. It's called self-preservation, him or me.&nb...	nancyfrances	5	470	Jan 17, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Are all alcholics arrogant? (Preview) Are all alcoholics so arrogant? My husband could be the poster child of it. He is always better than everyone else - especially when he drinks. When we would go out - he would zero in on someone and start picking on them. He's very sarcastic and cruel - he seems to know a person'...	nancyfrances	14	3730	Jan 17, 2006 by sas
	for those who wondered "where was god" (Preview) i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this...... &nb...	rosie light shines	7	820	Jan 17, 2006 by bobump
	Okay, I give! I give! - it hurts too much! (Preview) Hi all, Okay, I give up and give in...there's no way i'm not hitting a meeting tonight. Here's why: Today is my scheduled payday. My company in the last couple of weeks has been going through a transition of changing from one payroll company to the next, so they made sure to tell us that we needed...	greeneyedgirl	4	351	Jan 17, 2006 by greeneyedgirl
	horse sense (Preview) just got this from a good friend, thought i would pass it along...... Horse-Sense Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing. Lookin...	elizabeth	3	297	Jan 17, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Blacklisted Again (Preview) Well, this time, I am not taking it personally!!! But, am less than pleased to be blacklisted again. I have tried all of Edna's recommendations - still cant get into chat. It is your loss, I had some fascinating, inspirational things to say..... too bad you missed them. Dear John, give th...	Flora123	6	522	Jan 16, 2006 by John_R
	update (Preview) Hello Everyone, An update and post to vent my sorrow and joy over this weekend. After being pleasantly surprised Thursday night coming home to a picked up house and awake husband, who even had a light on in the house, and was sitting UP on the couch I stayed home from work Friday to h...	Jennifer	7	370	Jan 16, 2006 by Jennifer
	About last nite…. (Preview) Thank you, guys who were in the chat room last night, when I needed you, you were there. Someone told me to take care of myself………that helped me immensely. He just left about 2 hours ago…I feel relief, regret, sadness….with a little trickle of hope. My “A” and me did...	CAM0914	1	391	Jan 16, 2006 by Flora123
	my A husband is NOT my father/caretaker (Preview) I'll be 50 next year but still I look for someone to take care of me. For example my Dad use to be the one who locked up the house at night growing up. I expected my A husband to do the same but realized a while ago that he cant do this. He puts himself to bed and thats it. We dont even say goodnight to each other. I d...	Barbara	8	467	Jan 16, 2006 by Emafer
	Struggling with an in-law (Preview) Hello, all, I am still struggling with an in-law. I think I gave him too much credit - probably had expectations I shouldn't have had for him - and thought we could work through some long held feelings. I - unfairly, I think now - brought up the past, which is something he cannot change. He is an importan...	mebjk	7	430	Jan 16, 2006 by Jeannie
	Why?! (Preview) He treats me awful 95% of the time and all I ever wanted was for him to leave.Now that he`s gone all I do is cry cause I miss him...what is wrong with me? I feel like I can`t go on without him when deep down I know I`ve done it for years.Just because he lived here doesn`t mean he was here..does that make sense? I`...	allison	10	484	Jan 16, 2006 by marmare
	Hate or anger I can't stand him anymore (Preview) Help, I'm so confused. My husband has been an alcoholic for all of the 18 years we've been married and before. While young thought he would grow out of his party attitude - but hasn't. I suffered alot through the years - being left alone to raise the kids, to going through illnesses b...	nancyfrances	7	495	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.