For me, if someone who had a good part of a gallon of JB said he would call me at midnight, I'd have the bell turned off on the phone in the room where I sleep :)

Try to go to sleep, I know it sounds impossible, but try. You cannot change what he does, only how you react. Chances are he probably won't call, or won't make sense when he does. Expectation leads to anger and resentment, try not to set yourself up for that. He will have to deal witht he consequences of his choices today.

Lynn

Well I tell ya I keep some funny videos around. Absolutely Fabulous always makes
me laugh. Also I look at all my old Farside books.

I am not kidding laughter does help. Also exercise will get some good chemicals
going for you. But that is hard to do at night! So a nice bath with candles and nice
smelling stuff is nice. good music too.

For me, I don't know why, it barely bugs me anymore. My A says he will call. I
hear it, but it means nothing, has no substance, so why give it any energy. If he
does call great, if not, how well. i have my own thing to do.

Camomile tea is really relaxing, get yourself into a good book. Focus away from
thinking about him. At first ya may think or worry more than the focusing away,
but in time, if you really want to change this behavior, you will be concerned
less and less. Especially when ya really realize worry is wasted time.

It serves absolutely NO purpose. none nada. Like in Russia they are so poor, bored.
jobless, yet they get together and party and dance.

Why worry??? We can die any second, don't waste your seconds...

love,debilyn who has a cat laying next to her with all four in the air....now that
is not worrying....

If he calls, will that really change anything?
I know how hard it is, but really, when he is out drinking, the best thing you can do is get some sleep.
What worked for me was yoga, about half an hour's worth just before bedtime. This had an extra benefit, which I hadn't expected, and was in a way my first exposure to alanon methods. (Although I had barely heard of alanon at the time, and had never gone to a meeting). My A would often come home while I was doing my yoga, half sloshed of course, but not roaring drunk because it was still fairly early. Instead of finding me tense, worried and "Where have you been?", he would find me doing something for myself, as if thinking about him was the last thing on my mind. (Which it was - some of those postures are hard, and took all my concentration!) Since I was busy doing my own thing and not looking for a fight, it kinda took the fight out of him, too. He'd go off to pass out, and I would sit by candlelight doing my breathing excercises. Much nicer than the fight we usually had when he got home from the bar.