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a friend's drinking
(Preview)
I am so sad. Today, I stopped into a little store. I go there about once a week. The woman who runs the store has been such an angel to me since my A left. She took time to give my children special attention, especially holidays, birtdays etc. This christmas she "borrowe...
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Lunamoth
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6
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374
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I KNOW what the decision SHOULD be ...
(Preview)
Thanks for all the kind words, encouragement and good advice on my previous post about making a decision. I'm throwing this out to the general line, because after reading what you've said here - I have an important question:
I believe that he really does want to start a new relationship, but h...
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HadEnuff
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5
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323
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Who Am I?
(Preview)
Since I started Alanon a year ago, I have become more aware of abusive people around me. I was in a verbally and physically abusive relationship that ended in October. It was like someone sucked the life out of me. I wound up not knowing who I am. I used to be very forgiving and let abusive behavior slide. N...
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kissers
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5
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271
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I HAVE to Make a Decision ...
(Preview)
... this has just gone too far!
He tells me when he gets back from his trip that he did a lot of thinking and that he's decided that he wants to make a go of our relationship. He says he's going to stop contacting other women on the phone line, or make any attempt to meet them. I say that I don't k...
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HadEnuff
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5
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271
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update
(Preview)
Well - We are in our new home, some adjusting to do, but a much calmer atphmosphere!
Had the washer and dryer,ice maker, phone and internet hooked up today. Tomorrow the plumbers redoing some pipes. Got a call in to remodeler to fix the shower area, regrout tub and water proof area better.
Bo...
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jrtjosey
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7
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349
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A little light shining through and a Perfect "10" this week!!
(Preview)
I've had lots of emotions the last couple of days. I am amazed at the level of insecurity I have now with my "a". He is assuring me that he was not calling this girl to have a relationship and that it is completely over. I continue to pray for my healing and his on this matter...
We did h...
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twinmom2
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1
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397
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wanted to talk
(Preview)
things have been going well for me. my dad has been out of town for a few weeks and will be gone for another 2 weeks. i worry about him & the people he's with, but i realize there is nothing i can do about it. if he makes it home and in one piece...he does. if he doesn't...then i guess he doesn't. but i can cou...
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flintfeet
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4
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278
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How Many Times
(Preview)
After reading "The Lois Wilson" book, I have concluded I have never put and consequence's in to my relationship with my A. In the past I have seen my A start AA over and over. At times it seems it maybe becuase my A thought the situation was coming to a head. Now in my heart I know I c...
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Jewel
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4
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609
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Getting ready to fight
(Preview)
I am ready to fight for what I deserve in regards to my marital assets.
I appreciate the support of each and every one of you.
I know EXACTLY where I was before alanon and I will never return to the depths of my personal hell again.
There are many steps on my journey from sheer pain and desp...
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megan
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19
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746
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screw the challenges--- i need some joy AND hugs
(Preview)
TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1098>.
All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear. --Elizabeth...
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rosie light shines
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6
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265
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They do it on purpose??
(Preview)
I just read in a post the following quote, "If they can get you angry (yes, of course they do it on purpose) they have the justifcation to go off - not take responsibility for their OWN feelings & blame you."
I struggling with the idea that the A purposely gets you angry. Does this mean that they purpos...
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Kady
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11
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572
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Tips for detachment
(Preview)
I really get that detachment works and when I'm able to do it, it makes a tremendous difference in my life. But sometimes it seems impossible to stop those obsessive thoughts. I wonder if others have some practical suggestions of how to guide your thoughts during these frantic moments....
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cullyvan
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4
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312
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HOLDING me in the now
(Preview)
TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006
You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>.
One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. --Ida Scott Taylor
It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching...
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rosie light shines
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1
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257
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Saying no is empowering - may help some newcomers
(Preview)
Over the last few days, it seems to me by reading the posts, they keep bringing me back to when I was my most unmanageable, my most vulnerable, my most unlovable, my most fragile and yet now I can smile with the knowledge that I am different and that I have come so far.
During those bleak day...
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Maria123
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7
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507
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I think I'm catching on....
(Preview)
I posted a couple times, but have been mostly reading. I think I'm starting to realize what my biggest problems is. I'm constantly worried about how everyone I care about is feeling and I spend all my time trying to solve their problems and make them happy.
I need to start figuring out what makes me hap...
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DJ2006
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4
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296
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How to Install Love
(Preview)
How To Install Love
(Think about this)
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am?
Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other progr...
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cedarpines
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4
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401
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to everything there is a season
(Preview)
I miss you all.
I couldn't live with the drinking and verbal abuse from my hubby anymore, so since he wouldnt leave..I did.
I have taken the kids and gone to my parents. It is hard on the kids not to be in their own house, but they are adjusting to the situation better than I thought they would, and bette...
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lulu2
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5
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382
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Thank you for your support
(Preview)
Thank you all for your posts!
You reassured me all the things I already knew in my heart, and gave me the strenght tp walk away without being manipulated.
I will keep coming back.
This morning I told my A bf that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with a man who cared more about substance abuse...
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123shawny
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1
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308
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Loneliness
(Preview)
I have been trying to meditate a lot on HALT lately. I think loneliness is one of my core issues. The A can manipulate me a lot on that because I so often feel totally left out of his life. He will go off with his friends/workers/whoever and I will feel totally left out. This all came to a head for me bef...
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maresie
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4
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278
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New here, have a question
(Preview)
Hi
I am new here, and I wondered if I could have a bit of advice?
My boyfreind of three years has been on a two day drinking binge.
When he goes out to drink, he never answers any texts or calls and says I am bothering him. However he calls me at 2am very drunk and checks up on me!
When I said: please dont...
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123shawny
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9
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497
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Madness
(Preview)
I was up early today thinking of all the things that I have to get done in just a short few hours. I am getting ready for the divorce and I must protect myself. I am very embarrassed that I must drag my friends into this and ask for some help, even though it is just minor help.
Three years ago be...
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ditto
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2
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295
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I feel like I'm in crisis
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm pretty new here. I'm going to a meeting tonight, and don't have a sponsor yet. I am pretty much freaking out. I realize it's screwed up - my A husband and I have been married 11 years - (recovery 1 year equals obviously rocky marraige) He is now saying he thin...
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Mollyd
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9
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530
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my physical address (help)
(Preview)
someone that I sent some lit to a few weeks ago asked to send me something back ~ I took 3 weeks away from the chat room & 2 or so off of the Board, partly due to regression but mostly from the accident & I was trying to think about my life, needs, wants, desires.
Anyway,...
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kitty
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1
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381
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setting free
(Preview)
Hello all:
it has been a while since I posted, I have been trying to get to more f2f meetings and working on things day to day. My A is still home and has 103 days clean. He has been working his program, me mine. He has been out of work since leaving rehab, taking care of...
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Kim
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5
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366
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Should I Stay OR Should I go?
(Preview)
Before I found this site, I saw things more in black and white. If you are being verbally and emotionally abused, get OUT! I spent a lot of time on abuse sites, and I could blatantly see that I was with an abuser. He fit the description to a 'T', but I kept wondering...
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HadEnuff
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7
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405
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Grandfather's passing
(Preview)
Hiya friends,
I am not sure where to start with this post so I will jump in with both feet. Today I received news that my grandfather on my dad's side of the family passed away. I am sad but not surprised. My grandfather was quite elderly and in poor health. He passed away gently and peacefully. I will mis...
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bob6502
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19
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412
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And Light Dawns...
(Preview)
upon this marble head of mine. Sometimes we can be so thick-headed that we can't get out of our own way. This has been me for some time now. Beating my head against the wall thinking things will change if I keep doing it. The classic definition of insanity.
Things have been c...
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AlaMom
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2
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277
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Just Need to Talk Today..depressed
(Preview)
Just thought I would jot down a few words today. I am not feeling very well spritually or emotionally. I am really trying to get out of debt (a HUGE problem for me)...has been since I am 14 yrs. old. It seems like everytime I make a step or two (like everything else in my life)...the dis...
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Scamper
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10
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336
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yeah, i can forgive mom
(Preview)
Edited for copyright infraction. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 15:08, 2006-04-04
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rosie light shines
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0
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212
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enabling?
(Preview)
I'm learning about enabling.
First, my hub & me have very different ways of cooking. His is more elaborate, full meals. Mine are more simple dishes, & not as much food.
I offer to cook dinner so that it's done @ a decent time. But the hub states he'll do it,...
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DeAnna
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4
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290
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I told my son everything
(Preview)
Last Thurs my A husband didn't come home. I wasn't surprise when he didn't come home all weekend. I figured he was off getting high again and probably lost his job in the process. So Saturday I sat down w/my 12 year old son and opened up to him. I could see how much his dad's behav...
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QOD
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9
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578
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Tough Time
(Preview)
Hi All,
I haven't been around for awhile as lots has been happening. Mainly with my Mum. She has been unwell again these last few weeks and was operated on last Sat. The surgeon warned us it would be a big op, a Whipples Procedure (the surgeon said it was equivalent in size to a heart transp...
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Feather
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7
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378
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looking after ourselves
(Preview)
I get a weekly newsletter from an arts related source and this struck me as wonderful in that it it is like the alanon programme in the way that we strive to look after ourselves and look for the best. Hope you all enjoy as much as I did hugs iona54
Focusing the mind on a higher purpo...
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iona54
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0
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244
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How long is this ride?
(Preview)
Hello Roomies,
Well, the ride continues.
My "A" and I had a wonderful weekend. We spent family time together, spent quality time together, and he was sober all weekend.
He cut ties off from his "friends" on Wednesday after they returned the car completely out of gas, and it also had stolen prope...
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Dolphin123
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7
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310
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Looking for a sponsor
(Preview)
Hi, I am looking for a sponsor. Hoping to find another woman who has an active alcoholic husband. It is a different life living with an active spouse. I live is a small farming community, the closest Alanon meetings are 20 miles away, plus I work evening shift that makes it doubly hard to get to f2f meetin...
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horselover58
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3
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300
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|
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I chose these lessons
(Preview)
I have some strange views for a westerner, I have read Zen since I was 16, after surviving my first suicide attempt. I do believe I came into this family, had these hardships, married an addict, it was all in God's divine plan... for me to disocver the love in me, the divinity or spark of God t...
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kitty
|
5
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420
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|
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Emotional Abandonnment
(Preview)
This is really irony, I always felt like I did not want to be abandonnded & that I genuinely had a fear of it ~ yet I was the one that had abandonned myself all along.
I spent all of my life pouring out all I had onto others & being jipped in the end... ironically I did it to myself!!! Bo...
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kitty
|
3
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337
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|
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Edna, Flora and Chris
(Preview)
Edna, Flora and Chris, I miss seeing you guys. I hope everything is alright. Hurry back. love ya, Beth123
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Beth
|
0
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259
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|
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I thin HP was talking to me...on the pot, lol
(Preview)
Bear w/ me because this post may contain TMI and traces of peanuts but.... I thought it was interesting.
I'm at my son's Sunday school. In an effort to save myself some gas and time, I usually do some literature or non cal reading in the parking lot and clean out the car a little.
Today I d...
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bobump
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10
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496
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|
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happy news
(Preview)
I won, I won, I won ....
The radio contest for VIP seating at the Soul to Soul II Contest with Faith Hill and Tim McGraw.
I have been trying and trying to win tickets for five years and this time it worked.
Just wanted to share with y'all.
Love Maria
|
Maria123
|
13
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389
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|
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too lazy to leave
(Preview)
this was the sorry conclusion my A and I both came to this weekend.
He has been out of commission all week with selfmedicating (alcohol/pot/ambien) his way thru spring fever or something. same old same old. I only wish he would be out of the house for 3 days like some of these A's . All mine does is remedi...
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gknee
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2
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350
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|
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Tippsy
(Preview)
one of my son's that live at home came home tippsy again....I walked away when he went on about things that have him down.Things I have already dicused when he was sober.He has a court date to determine if he is the father of a baby boy.Needing DNA test.As a mother I explain if the the child is his he is res...
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angel123
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3
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371
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|
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I'm on Cujo's off
(Preview)
I'm back on line in my home.
Cujo has no Power, LOL
More later.
Josey
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jrtjosey
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2
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331
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|
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Newbies ~ So many Excellent Slogans
(Preview)
I have this printed out & put up in my condo all over the place, in the bathroom, on the ice box, the front door & next to my PC:
LET GO & LET GOD ATTEND TO THE DIVINE PLAN
Thank You God for reminding me not to interfere with your Divine Plan
&nbs...
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kitty
|
3
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382
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|
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How to respond
(Preview)
I haven't spoken to my ex-A for 3 months I have had no contact and haven't tried and neither has he. We went out for 8 years never married or even lived with each other. He lied about the drinking I would find out and we would break up. this went on for our entire relationship. It's funny we brea...
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maggy
|
2
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393
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The Shoe
(Preview)
The other day I was taking my lunch walk around our office complex which includes a large hotel. As I was walking around the hotel, I saw a ladies dress shoe sitting on top of one of the hedges. My first thought was, "I wonder how one ladies shoe got there?" Well, t...
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Juster
|
2
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327
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|
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My anniversary
(Preview)
((((((((((Family))))))))))))),
Happy Day for me!
Today is my 3rd wedding anniversary. It's is also Piper Kitty's 3 birthday, and 1 year ago she came home to us! We became a family.
I look back on a year ago, and where we were. My hubby...
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Karilynn
|
12
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347
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|
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Group Conscience Meeting
(Preview)
GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING
APRIL 5, 2006
SenoraBob       &nb...
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bob6502
|
0
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301
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Progression of hell
(Preview)
Seemed like a "normal" family at the time clear back in 1970. Two very cute country boys, darling little blond sister who had a pony. Mom home, Dad an electrician.
I met my A's family very young. I watched my A get drafted, his mom and dad divorced after years of all kinds of abuse on the whole family. A's...
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debilyn
|
10
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448
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Kink in the space/time continium....
(Preview)
Since coming to Al Anon I have learned some basic skills to keep me sane while my AW has continued the 6 month long downward spiral. She has not had a nice word for me in that time, every communication is sarcastic at best... downright hateful at worst.
Includes taking swings at me...
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rtexas
|
5
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315
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|
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Sick is no excuse for bad behavior
(Preview)
I have been reading so many posts about infidelity, and abuse, from many people, myself included.
There is a book I particularly like called "Marriage on the Rocks". The auther makes things kind of cut and dry and clear.
She states that the first thing we have to do is accept alcoholism as a disease...
|
Jeannie
|
7
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432
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|
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can't get in chatroom
(Preview)
Tried but cant get in ...
1) Message box popped up: "Verify Certif... Do you wnt to trust the signed applet distributed by Phillippe DeTourneay?" DO I or is this a virus?
2) Then white box loads, but .... I get that "Unable to connect: java.security.
AccessControlException: accessdenied.
...
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emma
|
4
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268
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|
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Not sure
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Its 8:14pm on SUnday night, and as in every weekend every night from dinner till bedtime, my S/O sits in the chair and snores. Its like he has no desire to even socialize with me, let alone anything else. He says its my fault, LOL. I'm the one awake, doing laundry,...
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Unsure
|
7
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301
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|
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Step 4
(Preview)
This from Forum (meeting in my pocket)click attachment
|
angel123
|
0
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242
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|
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He's leaving me!
(Preview)
After 15 years of marriage, he says he's unhappy and that's why he uses! He gave me all these reasons why he's unhappy, (he wanted more than 2 kids, I didn't, etc), but says if he doesn't get out, he'll never stop using. I found out a long time ago that he's never satisfied with his life...
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cabma
|
13
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513
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|
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one of my fears might be coming true
(Preview)
One of the things I was worried about was my A getting a counselor that was worried about only the patient and not the family. My contention after all is, that it is a family disease.
She was released from the hospital 16 days ago. In that time she has made 3 AA meetings and she just started h...
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bobump
|
14
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638
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|
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Some trouble in paradise...
(Preview)
This weekend I had another dose of deception from my "a". I found out that he has been calling the "other woman" for the last two weeks since he's been home. (no sex just calling) On Friday I only knew that he was calling her, he was trying to cover his tracks but not doing a good job of it...
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twinmom2
|
4
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444
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|
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a new plan??
(Preview)
Hi All,
I have never been one that suffers from depression...maybe that's why our situation carried on so long without me realizing there was a problem. The eternal optimist passed away 2 months ago though, and now I can't seem to pull myself from this depression. I really want to have...
|
robyn76
|
3
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283
|
|
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Is it really possible?
(Preview)
Hello all,
Being new to this board, being new to Alanon in general, I have to ask. Is it really possible to live with the A and be happy?
I asked a similar question when I was new to my other program - is it really possible? And I found out that it was.
But the more stressed out I get with my s...
|
kspear
|
2
|
325
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|
|
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at the crossroads
(Preview)
Well as we all know when the rollercoaster is up it must come down. I have had a good two weeks with my husband the A. He has been pleasant, playing Bob the Builder around the house (a rare occurrence) and most of all the communication between us has been good because there was no drink...
|
leo
|
5
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602
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