Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Monday I got to plan G before we left the house. I got home around 10:30am. she was suppose to be ready to go to town. I unloaded almost the entire car from the sale items by myself. I was thinking where the H is she? I went inside & she was still not ready. I sat down quietly and said nothing. She sai...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I found this to be a great "mood setter" for me today. Thought you might like it. Everyone has so much going on, just for today... I am going to let today be a good day and not try to overthink or overdo anything. Just enjoy that the sun is up and I am here to enj...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) This is hard to write, hard to admit. I'm angry at myself for being jealous of others who have had the blessing of their A's finding recovery while still together, and with others that have hope of a life of recovery together. Logically I can think it is probably natural, and I am...

hersh · hersh

Please help me, God. I just found out that AH is talking to someone. It is so devastating. I am just so upset about it. I just can't believe he would ever ever do this. He hid the cell phone bill lastnight and I wondered why and I looked it up online today. He has been talk...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I feel like a boulder has been removed from my chest. I can breath again! I know the truth. Found out ex was cheating on me. Confronted her and then him. He called me later that day to let me know I would never see his 6 year old son again (who I love very much) . When I confronted him in a very even voi...

ohera101 · ohera101

Hi all! I am really proud of myself....I finally seperated myself and my son from my AH the best I can. We already live seperately. He says he doesn't want to be married anymore. Or that's what he said originally. I can never tell if has a clue what he wants. He is working on finding his way to true recover...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

I have been reading alot of the posts and they are helpful. In regarding about the infidelity I started wondering if my A has been unfaithful to me. Although I have never found anything to lead me in the direction I have often felt he was having flings which would be hard for me to prove becau...

Cyn · Cyn

Last summer I was desperately trying to make ends meet - working my tail off doing 3-4 jobs to feel like I wasnt counting pennies to pay for things. I had a deadbeat boyfriend who I loved dearly and thought he had the drive and determination to work for his future as well. All he was working fo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well this Saturday is hubby's 47th birthday.

This week will also mark his 90 day + sobriety.

I can't believe that 3 months has passed since he was in ICU and I was preparing myself to the possibility of saying good bye to him.&nbs...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I am not quite sure how to put this in words so I will to my best to keep it brief. Lately, I have been feeling uncertain of things. Not so much my A. But me, and what I want. I have clarity on a few things but not everything. I know in the program it takes times. But I still feel at times I go threw a whole spectrum o...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

so i left my a a month and a half ago or longer. im happy and know in my heart i dont want to be with him. and that i deserve so much more. but right now my serenity is being destroyed. he is seriously mentally ill right now and telling me he is going to kill himself. i know most of you will tell me tha...

purpleraven · purpleraven

last night my A broke up with me again, this makes the 4th time. it seemed really, really real this time, so much so that i spent all night saying "goodbye" to him and mourning the end of the relationship (silently to myself while he slept, i mean). he kept saying he's "poisonous" and "toxic" to me, to my li...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))), What does one look for in getting a sponsor? Can someone explain to me what is the criteria for becoming a sponsor? I know that there has to be a good connection between a sponsor and a sponsee, that's a given. But are there certain characte...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Speaking of the unfaithful partner, earlier this week I discovered that my AH had contacted a dating service and today I found a garage door opener and a set of keys that do not belong to us in our pickup glove box. I am stuck living with him until I get my legal questions answered soooooo my s...

lmt123 · lmt123

Ok, some of you know I have some issues with my 18 year old daughter. She is about to start college, and will be living at home and commuting. She absolutely thinks she is an adult, which she is, but she is acting so immature and selfish. She is almost DEMANDING that you treat her like a...

Jenni · Jenni

Hello All, I'm a member of Alanon f2f meetings and visit the Naranon Family website. I married an alcoholic at 20 (lasted a year), married a nice man (together 8 years) and then left him for a newly sober alcoholic (park bench drunk) who got sober in AA and has swapped the witch for the *itch (meth/ic...

Jennifer · Jennifer

(((Group))) For those who have read some/all of my saga, I am still stuck in the middle of it. For those that haven't I am too tired to go over it LOL Either way I wanted to check in and let you know I am still working on myself and the divorce. Keep ing my wits about me. stress levels are OK considering tha...

bogahome4 · bogahome4

Hi this is new to me...well i have a long history of alcoholism in my life...not myself but family members...I have been in a long distance realtionship with an alcoholic...I helped his family do an intervention...he took the help...was in the most prestigious facility in the country...for 2 days....

purpleraven · purpleraven

i was just saying in another post how i pray all day, and that helps me live my life, and especially life with my A. he's clean & sober, but he's still capable of acting like he's in the depths of drink or drugs. i give up trying to understand that!! then i realize that's what "let go and let God" might mean? i m...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Lately I have been losing everything. Can't figure out why. Maybe I'm just overworked. Well I was lamenting to a friend one night, about how I have temporarily misplaced (I never loose anything, except my mind! lol

) a pearl earring th...

lilms · lilms

Isabela, I definitely

the queen of spoiled pets. My friends have always said that when they die they want to come back as one of my pets. You have me beat hands down, foot and scalp massages even

Thanks for making me laugh, lilms

smpoli · smpoli

Hello fellow MIP's! It has been awhile, but I am really hoping to get back with my program and come back to this site more often. I have missed so many of you! I am hanging in there. I am going through hell right now financially. I am still battling for my unemployment. ...

jj · jj

so i pop in to do some reading and see how some friends are doing and it gets me thinking... for thoes who know me on here know I grew up with an A dad and the married one!! We have known each other since I was 11 yrs old and got together when I was 17 I am now 29 we got married 2 yrs ago have 2 kids... Any hoo I...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Let her know I've got the Al-anon materials together for her and they'll be in the mail Friday. Thank so much! I don't get into chat very much lately and just want her to know they are coming.

She can also e-mail me at Luna-moth@hotmail.com Thanks again!!

Gailey · Gailey

Living with aism in my life makes me angry and unhappy. As someone once wrote here before..."this is not the life I ordered", keeps coming back to my mind. One day at a time is something that I have not been working for awhile. I keep projecting things that will take place in the future if the A continu...

sld488 · sld488

As a part of keeping the focus on me, I have been thinking of changing jobs. I really like my job. Last year we moved and I now have to drive 45 miles to work and 45 miles back home. That's over 3 hours of my time and almost a 3rd of my paycheck(and gas is going up) I co...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Glad all of you are here. Glad to be here. I move into *my* apt this friday. Am so excited. I think. Am not certain because Mom is now advocating that I should move into dorm--like Dad has been advocating since I announced I had found an apt last March.

I'm really upset with this wom...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

((((Roomies))))), I am getting ready to celebrate my 1-year anniversary in Al-Anon - yeah! As many of us have, I have really struggled with getting my head around what detachment is, and last night I had a bit of a break through. I was completing an exercise on detachment in which I was asked to list...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

I hardly know where to start. My boyfriend and I have lived together for 5 years and I am now realizing his drinking problem won't do away...no matter how it hurts me. He drinks every day and is verbally abusive to me, and when he does we fight and he leaves saying he is tried of me doing ...wha...

Georgia girl · Georgia girl

I've been married for 32 years, and I can't take it anymore!! My A has become so distant and hurtful... I'm afraid he's killing any love I have left for him. It's gotten progressively worse, and now I KNOW he's a full blown A... He forgets what he says, the next day after he's been drinking... talks to be li...

Samena · Samena

Wow.... it's nice to be back!!! It's been awhile since I've been here. Sooo much has happened... I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict for 10 years and two years ago divorced him b/c of his behavior after a night out painting the town red. The police were called and I ended up in the emergenc...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'd love to hear you views on this one! I have been told in the past (few years ago) that I can be quite stubborn (your way or no way....was the quote). I agree I can be this way at times. I think I am more willing to consider other's viewpoints now though. I have learned a lot and grown in th...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

That is the question that I keep asking myself. When is enough enough. I have read several books on alcoholism and go to both online and f2f meetings. I can accept that alcoholism is a disease. I can accept that certain behaviors of the alcoholic are typical and to think othe...

bev · bev

my husband and i have been together since 98,and since then he has been in and out of rehab six times,for drugs and alcohol{plus he is type 2 bi-polar}he was on probation for 3 years for many dui's.he started drinking and using drugs again in dec just 2 months after he got off probation,and it is getting w...

gardengal · gardengal

Something to think about.........something to explore just for yourself!!! I think us alanoners take so much time and energy worrying about the A's in our lives, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner of life. We take care, worry, try to fix, try to control everyone else around us, and yet let the m...

Linda Jean · Linda Jean

Hi everyone, I have been reading these posts with much interest. I have been going to see a therapist for the past 6 months, who has been helping me see my husband has an alcohol problem. I have been watching his drinking, but he typically drinks at night when I am in bed. He is a self employed writer who t...

Kris · Kris

Hi. After almost 14 years of marriage I told my husband I can't live like this anymore. And I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Because it hurts so much. My husband is a good man, loving, everything I ever wanted in a mate...but when he drinks too much which eventua...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah just called and we talked for about an hour. he sounds still slightly drunk. but he was reaching out from the disease. i stayed in my program. i spoke from my experience and told him that i have no answers for him. he came right out and told me that he wishes i could save him. and i told him that i can't....

serendipity · serendipity

the alanon speaker at our convention this past winter was incredible (ofcourse) and she had these steps which continue to crack me up and make me think. it is so close to who i was and who ican slip into being. i hope y'all enjoy them too! 1. discovered i was powerful over others and your lives wer...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah called to speak to the kids. they aren't home from camping. so, i was telling him about how the speaker's meeting last night (aa) the speaker was an old friend of ours who he went thru rehab with. i told him how neat it was to see him and how his story was great and it was just so nice to see an old friend....

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

We got to visit Vinny on Saturday. He is in alot of pain. The vet said he did 2 hours of surgery. 2 hernia repairs. He had drains on both sides & stables. He was sitting side saddled on the table. He let us hug & kiss on him. He looked so far away, I know he was hurting & probably going what wa...

debilyn · debilyn

and felt better. I called my regular dentist who said, for petes sake get in here NOW. so he and his great staff helped me out, did not charge me for the visit or xrays, so my bill was very low and I can make it in four payments!!! hp is good... I know I have been a pill. Being in pain is a drag. b...

artygirl · artygirl

As you may have read in my last two posts... I'm fed up with my alcoholic/cocaine-addicted hubby. He has not made any kind of effort to get his life together. He spent most of the weekend away from home on a binge. I have my mind made up that I want to separate from him... and most likely divorce him. In fact,...

Becky1 · Becky1

Just a silly post, but I thought maybe some of you might find it amuseing. I have often talked in chat about how my husband hates my cats. I had them before I had him, and he used to like them pretty good, but as the drinking increased, so did his hatred of my cats. I have had them about 1...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am having one of those mixed up days today.....So I thought I'd come in and just let it out....Friday I went to see about a job...have to be back Monday morning and talk to the supervisor...I know her personally so it will be fine..just a little concerned about the hours....don't t...

leo · leo

Well to many this may seem a small step but to me it is a big one. Today I was out the back sweeping up the patio having a general clean up and then looking around the backyard for mesh to cover the holes our dogs have dug. Started off enjoying it then looked around me at things that have been negl...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Woooo Hoooo!!! And I'm powerless. For the last 3 week I've been caring for my mom, who has dementia and motor problems, while my dad heals from open heart surgery. I don't think my life has been this unmanagable since my AH was in the house, lol. My dad absolutely refused...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Family))) I've had an Ah-ha realization yesterday. I took off from work because my weekend was stressful. Not because of anything serious that happened, just my attitude and perception of my environment. I really took my stress and irritation out on the kids, just snappy...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys just to update for you... my ex "A" turned up from his travels... and got back on track... he still not working but has decided to go back to college which is good. however he is still in the depths o depression... he goes thru periods of being happy with loadsa energy and looks forward to doing ne...

debilyn · debilyn

The horrible, mean, manipulative, liar, living with another woman, A has hurt me so bad, that I hate my husband who does not have the balls to stand up and choose the light. NO I am not free. He loves that, able to hold onto me. whatever. sexless wonder he is. Don't think I have ever felt like thi...

debilyn · debilyn

(oo) snouters, Your posts made me laugh and cry too. You guys are awful smart. I needed all the words everyone posted. It hurts to go thru these milestones in alanon. But becuz we help each other, it makes it easier. I turned my phones off and I am not emailing right now. I feel I need a break fr...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((((alanon family)))) Could someone please explain this to me? I hear it often that I am right where I am supposed to be,and everyone else seems to agree and understand.I guess I must be dense. We all know we can make bad decisions,bad choices.If I had stayed separated from my AH 10 years ag...

whittibo · whittibo

Here's my pickle. My aunt got released from jail on July 5th. She served 8 months for her 3rd or 4th DUI. She was staying with my mom, helping mom after a near death illness and left mom's place suddenly on August 9th and never came back. We found out on the 11t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

In one of my meditation books there was a line that caught my eye "Beauty and self love is a taught behavior that becomes habit--like self hatred." As I meditated on that today, I paused for a moment and realized I still have reminants of self hatred that we talk about in the 3 C's (I didn't ca...

lin0606 · lin0606

We had our district roundup this weekend - it is an AA/alanon weekend, held at a local campground. It's always quite a lot of fun - pot luck dinner on Saturday night, pancake breakfast on Sunday, lot of open meetings, and speakers. It's never very well organized here - nobody ever knows who's doing...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Morning All, A couple of weeks ago I posted about the proverbial elephant in my living room and my concerns if he would join us on our family vacation. Well I am happy to say that he apparently took a seperate vacation. While not a perfect vacation - it was a good one. I had a couple of...

omajoy · omajoy

I am trying very hard to detach from my son and his problems with alcohol and with his life (related to his problems, of course). This weekend started great with Friday's good activity with him and his ex and their baby going out to eat...a new tradition they are trying. Saturday morning he called to say...

GreenGem · GreenGem

First, I want to say thanks to everyone here, as the meetings and chats are helping me to get by, one day at a time. :) I'm learning more every day. I'm still having a really horrible time, and I feel guilty as I'm reading about so many active A's... my own A is newly in recovery, sober (as far...

Freatlast · Freatlast

I had a hearing for yesterday for the restraining order I pulled on my almost ex, keeping his truck and emergency support. I got 1 out of three. The restraining order is in effect for 1 year. I only got this because he admitted pulling a gun. Lied about only pulling it on himsel...

marmare · marmare

So today I wake with only a small amount of anxiousness...this is good for me. The weekend was exhausting as most of mom's house is packed, sorted, etc. It is a very emotional journey. I have not talked to my A since Friday, as he went fishing for the weekend. I sat last night re...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	frustrations & how do you feel empathy for the active A? (Preview) Monday I got to plan G before we left the house. I got home around 10:30am. she was suppose to be ready to go to town. I unloaded almost the entire car from the sale items by myself. I was thinking where the H is she? I went inside & she was still not ready. I sat down quietly and said nothing. She sai...	hmrnrnmm	2	386	Aug 24, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Today is a new day (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I found this to be a great "mood setter" for me today. Thought you might like it. Everyone has so much going on, just for today... I am going to let today be a good day and not try to overthink or overdo anything. Just enjoy that the sun is up and I am here to enj...	rtexas	2	373	Aug 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	Jealousy of others recovery (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) This is hard to write, hard to admit. I'm angry at myself for being jealous of others who have had the blessing of their A's finding recovery while still together, and with others that have hope of a life of recovery together. Logically I can think it is probably natural, and I am...	Jennifer	10	507	Aug 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	I need HELP. (Preview) Please help me, God. I just found out that AH is talking to someone. It is so devastating. I am just so upset about it. I just can't believe he would ever ever do this. He hid the cell phone bill lastnight and I wondered why and I looked it up online today. He has been talk...	hersh	9	469	Aug 24, 2006 by smpoli
	IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!! (Preview) I feel like a boulder has been removed from my chest. I can breath again! I know the truth. Found out ex was cheating on me. Confronted her and then him. He called me later that day to let me know I would never see his 6 year old son again (who I love very much) . When I confronted him in a very even voi...	sisdragonfly1957	7	498	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	Detachment (Preview) Hi all! I am really proud of myself....I finally seperated myself and my son from my AH the best I can. We already live seperately. He says he doesn't want to be married anymore. Or that's what he said originally. I can never tell if has a clue what he wants. He is working on finding his way to true recover...	ohera101	6	439	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	WONDERING (Preview) I have been reading alot of the posts and they are helpful. In regarding about the infidelity I started wondering if my A has been unfaithful to me. Although I have never found anything to lead me in the direction I have often felt he was having flings which would be hard for me to prove becau...	LadyLibra	5	317	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	Looking back (Preview) Last summer I was desperately trying to make ends meet - working my tail off doing 3-4 jobs to feel like I wasnt counting pennies to pay for things. I had a deadbeat boyfriend who I loved dearly and thought he had the drive and determination to work for his future as well. All he was working fo...	Cyn	6	295	Aug 24, 2006 by just me
	A 90 day thank you & hubby's birthday (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well this Saturday is hubby's 47th birthday. This week will also mark his 90 day + sobriety. I can't believe that 3 months has passed since he was in ICU and I was preparing myself to the possibility of saying good bye to him.&nbs...	Karilynn	7	500	Aug 24, 2006 by Rita G
	Question (Preview) I am not quite sure how to put this in words so I will to my best to keep it brief. Lately, I have been feeling uncertain of things. Not so much my A. But me, and what I want. I have clarity on a few things but not everything. I know in the program it takes times. But I still feel at times I go threw a whole spectrum o...	DoN4me	5	309	Aug 24, 2006 by kismetstrand
	suicide threats (Preview) so i left my a a month and a half ago or longer. im happy and know in my heart i dont want to be with him. and that i deserve so much more. but right now my serenity is being destroyed. he is seriously mentally ill right now and telling me he is going to kill himself. i know most of you will tell me tha...	notsonew1111	7	595	Aug 24, 2006 by canadianguy
	breakup, make up, breakup, ARGH! (Preview) last night my A broke up with me again, this makes the 4th time. it seemed really, really real this time, so much so that i spent all night saying "goodbye" to him and mourning the end of the relationship (silently to myself while he slept, i mean). he kept saying he's "poisonous" and "toxic" to me, to my li...	purpleraven	5	432	Aug 24, 2006 by TLC2
	Sponsor questions (Preview) (((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))), What does one look for in getting a sponsor? Can someone explain to me what is the criteria for becoming a sponsor? I know that there has to be a good connection between a sponsor and a sponsee, that's a given. But are there certain characte...	Karilynn	5	429	Aug 24, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Sick Thinking (Preview) Speaking of the unfaithful partner, earlier this week I discovered that my AH had contacted a dating service and today I found a garage door opener and a set of keys that do not belong to us in our pickup glove box. I am stuck living with him until I get my legal questions answered soooooo my s...	Gramma Pat	5	300	Aug 24, 2006 by Tiger2006
	need insight... (Preview) Ok, some of you know I have some issues with my 18 year old daughter. She is about to start college, and will be living at home and commuting. She absolutely thinks she is an adult, which she is, but she is acting so immature and selfish. She is almost DEMANDING that you treat her like a...	lmt123	6	349	Aug 24, 2006 by leo
	I'm Brand New Here (Preview) Hello All, I'm a member of Alanon f2f meetings and visit the Naranon Family website. I married an alcoholic at 20 (lasted a year), married a nice man (together 8 years) and then left him for a newly sober alcoholic (park bench drunk) who got sober in AA and has swapped the witch for the *itch (meth/ic...	Jenni	4	974	Aug 24, 2006 by maresie2
	Hello Everyone (Preview) (((Group))) For those who have read some/all of my saga, I am still stuck in the middle of it. For those that haven't I am too tired to go over it LOL Either way I wanted to check in and let you know I am still working on myself and the divorce. Keep ing my wits about me. stress levels are OK considering tha...	Jennifer	3	261	Aug 24, 2006 by Kris
	advice please (Preview) Hi this is new to me...well i have a long history of alcoholism in my life...not myself but family members...I have been in a long distance realtionship with an alcoholic...I helped his family do an intervention...he took the help...was in the most prestigious facility in the country...for 2 days....	bogahome4	4	314	Aug 24, 2006 by Kris
	let go and let God (Preview) i was just saying in another post how i pray all day, and that helps me live my life, and especially life with my A. he's clean & sober, but he's still capable of acting like he's in the depths of drink or drugs. i give up trying to understand that!! then i realize that's what "let go and let God" might mean? i m...	purpleraven	2	288	Aug 24, 2006 by Freatlast
	St. Piper (Preview) (((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Lately I have been losing everything. Can't figure out why. Maybe I'm just overworked. Well I was lamenting to a friend one night, about how I have temporarily misplaced (I never loose anything, except my mind! lol ) a pearl earring th...	Karilynn	5	326	Aug 24, 2006 by leo
	Isabela you definitely win!!! (Preview) Isabela, I definitely the queen of spoiled pets. My friends have always said that when they die they want to come back as one of my pets. You have me beat hands down, foot and scalp massages even Thanks for making me laugh, lilms	lilms	1	316	Aug 24, 2006 by isabela40
	Yes, I am still alive! LOL (Preview) Hello fellow MIP's! It has been awhile, but I am really hoping to get back with my program and come back to this site more often. I have missed so many of you! I am hanging in there. I am going through hell right now financially. I am still battling for my unemployment. ...	smpoli	5	344	Aug 24, 2006 by Maria123
	thinking out loud/babble and vent (Preview) so i pop in to do some reading and see how some friends are doing and it gets me thinking... for thoes who know me on here know I grew up with an A dad and the married one!! We have known each other since I was 11 yrs old and got together when I was 17 I am now 29 we got married 2 yrs ago have 2 kids... Any hoo I...	jj	1	325	Aug 23, 2006 by TLC2
	If you see Castaway in Chat Please... (Preview) Let her know I've got the Al-anon materials together for her and they'll be in the mail Friday. Thank so much! I don't get into chat very much lately and just want her to know they are coming. She can also e-mail me at Luna-moth@hotmail.com Thanks again!!	Lunamoth	1	322	Aug 23, 2006 by doxie
	How long will I allow myself to be angry? (Preview) Living with aism in my life makes me angry and unhappy. As someone once wrote here before..."this is not the life I ordered", keeps coming back to my mind. One day at a time is something that I have not been working for awhile. I keep projecting things that will take place in the future if the A continu...	Gailey	8	357	Aug 23, 2006 by April306
	business adventures! (Preview) As a part of keeping the focus on me, I have been thinking of changing jobs. I really like my job. Last year we moved and I now have to drive 45 miles to work and 45 miles back home. That's over 3 hours of my time and almost a 3rd of my paycheck(and gas is going up) I co...	sld488	1	251	Aug 23, 2006 by rtexas
	Progress not perfection.... (Preview) Glad all of you are here. Glad to be here. I move into my apt this friday. Am so excited. I think. Am not certain because Mom is now advocating that I should move into dorm--like Dad has been advocating since I announced I had found an apt last March. I'm really upset with this wom...	Tiger2006	3	377	Aug 23, 2006 by lin0606
	Detachment - One Baby Step At A Time (Preview) ((((Roomies))))), I am getting ready to celebrate my 1-year anniversary in Al-Anon - yeah! As many of us have, I have really struggled with getting my head around what detachment is, and last night I had a bit of a break through. I was completing an exercise on detachment in which I was asked to list...	BlueCloud	3	373	Aug 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	Hurting (Preview) I hardly know where to start. My boyfriend and I have lived together for 5 years and I am now realizing his drinking problem won't do away...no matter how it hurts me. He drinks every day and is verbally abusive to me, and when he does we fight and he leaves saying he is tried of me doing ...wha...	LadyLibra	7	403	Aug 23, 2006 by Georgia girl
	I feel like I'm going crazy!!! (Preview) I've been married for 32 years, and I can't take it anymore!! My A has become so distant and hurtful... I'm afraid he's killing any love I have left for him. It's gotten progressively worse, and now I KNOW he's a full blown A... He forgets what he says, the next day after he's been drinking... talks to be li...	Georgia girl	5	484	Aug 23, 2006 by Georgia girl
	A new beginning???? (Preview) Wow.... it's nice to be back!!! It's been awhile since I've been here. Sooo much has happened... I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict for 10 years and two years ago divorced him b/c of his behavior after a night out painting the town red. The police were called and I ended up in the emergenc...	Samena	2	255	Aug 23, 2006 by Tiger2006
	who's most stubborn do you think? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'd love to hear you views on this one! I have been told in the past (few years ago) that I can be quite stubborn (your way or no way....was the quote). I agree I can be this way at times. I think I am more willing to consider other's viewpoints now though. I have learned a lot and grown in th...	annmarie	5	413	Aug 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Do I want to keep doing this? (Preview) That is the question that I keep asking myself. When is enough enough. I have read several books on alcoholism and go to both online and f2f meetings. I can accept that alcoholism is a disease. I can accept that certain behaviors of the alcoholic are typical and to think othe...	JulieLynn	4	344	Aug 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	dont know what to do (Preview) my husband and i have been together since 98,and since then he has been in and out of rehab six times,for drugs and alcohol{plus he is type 2 bi-polar}he was on probation for 3 years for many dui's.he started drinking and using drugs again in dec just 2 months after he got off probation,and it is getting w...	bev	5	322	Aug 23, 2006 by bev
	Ask yourself....What do you really need to let the natural healing forces within you to go to work? (Preview) Something to think about.........something to explore just for yourself!!! I think us alanoners take so much time and energy worrying about the A's in our lives, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner of life. We take care, worry, try to fix, try to control everyone else around us, and yet let the m...	gardengal	4	287	Aug 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Considering Divorce, Seeking Advice (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been reading these posts with much interest. I have been going to see a therapist for the past 6 months, who has been helping me see my husband has an alcohol problem. I have been watching his drinking, but he typically drinks at night when I am in bed. He is a self employed writer who t...	Linda Jean	6	330	Aug 23, 2006 by smpoli
	New and Confused (Preview) Hi. After almost 14 years of marriage I told my husband I can't live like this anymore. And I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Because it hurts so much. My husband is a good man, loving, everything I ever wanted in a mate...but when he drinks too much which eventua...	Kris	2	357	Aug 23, 2006 by smpoli
	sainthood? (Preview) my ex ah just called and we talked for about an hour. he sounds still slightly drunk. but he was reaching out from the disease. i stayed in my program. i spoke from my experience and told him that i have no answers for him. he came right out and told me that he wishes i could save him. and i told him that i can't....	serendipity	3	377	Aug 23, 2006 by Jerry F
	12 steps pre- alanon (Preview) the alanon speaker at our convention this past winter was incredible (ofcourse) and she had these steps which continue to crack me up and make me think. it is so close to who i was and who ican slip into being. i hope y'all enjoy them too! 1. discovered i was powerful over others and your lives wer...	serendipity	1	421	Aug 22, 2006 by BlueCloud
	withdrawing my application for sainthood (Preview) my ex ah called to speak to the kids. they aren't home from camping. so, i was telling him about how the speaker's meeting last night (aa) the speaker was an old friend of ours who he went thru rehab with. i told him how neat it was to see him and how his story was great and it was just so nice to see an old friend....	serendipity	5	1167	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	More on Vinny, etc (Preview) We got to visit Vinny on Saturday. He is in alot of pain. The vet said he did 2 hours of surgery. 2 hernia repairs. He had drains on both sides & stables. He was sitting side saddled on the table. He let us hug & kiss on him. He looked so far away, I know he was hurting & probably going what wa...	hmrnrnmm	2	228	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	I woke up..... (Preview) and felt better. I called my regular dentist who said, for petes sake get in here NOW. so he and his great staff helped me out, did not charge me for the visit or xrays, so my bill was very low and I can make it in four payments!!! hp is good... I know I have been a pill. Being in pain is a drag. b...	debilyn	4	287	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	I'm a huge chicken! (Preview) As you may have read in my last two posts... I'm fed up with my alcoholic/cocaine-addicted hubby. He has not made any kind of effort to get his life together. He spent most of the weekend away from home on a binge. I have my mind made up that I want to separate from him... and most likely divorce him. In fact,...	artygirl	4	321	Aug 22, 2006 by lin0606
	The Cat Who Adopted My Husband (Preview) Just a silly post, but I thought maybe some of you might find it amuseing. I have often talked in chat about how my husband hates my cats. I had them before I had him, and he used to like them pretty good, but as the drinking increased, so did his hatred of my cats. I have had them about 1...	Becky1	8	449	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	One Wonderful Day At A Time (Preview) Hello Friends, I am having one of those mixed up days today.....So I thought I'd come in and just let it out....Friday I went to see about a job...have to be back Monday morning and talk to the supervisor...I know her personally so it will be fine..just a little concerned about the hours....don't t...	Andrea12	4	424	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	confidence (Preview) Well to many this may seem a small step but to me it is a big one. Today I was out the back sweeping up the patio having a general clean up and then looking around the backyard for mesh to cover the holes our dogs have dug. Started off enjoying it then looked around me at things that have been negl...	leo	4	304	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	I'm Back ! (Preview) Woooo Hoooo!!! And I'm powerless. For the last 3 week I've been caring for my mom, who has dementia and motor problems, while my dad heals from open heart surgery. I don't think my life has been this unmanagable since my AH was in the house, lol. My dad absolutely refused...	Lunamoth	5	260	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	Body,Mind,and Spirit have suffered enough (Preview) (((Family))) I've had an Ah-ha realization yesterday. I took off from work because my weekend was stressful. Not because of anything serious that happened, just my attitude and perception of my environment. I really took my stress and irritation out on the kids, just snappy...	twinmom2	3	283	Aug 22, 2006 by AlaMom
	Pondering and wondering.... (Preview) hi guys just to update for you... my ex "A" turned up from his travels... and got back on track... he still not working but has decided to go back to college which is good. however he is still in the depths o depression... he goes thru periods of being happy with loadsa energy and looks forward to doing ne...	Rebecca	2	268	Aug 22, 2006 by annmarie
	for the first time (Preview) The horrible, mean, manipulative, liar, living with another woman, A has hurt me so bad, that I hate my husband who does not have the balls to stand up and choose the light. NO I am not free. He loves that, able to hold onto me. whatever. sexless wonder he is. Don't think I have ever felt like thi...	debilyn	6	432	Aug 21, 2006 by maresie2
	thoink you (Preview) (oo) snouters, Your posts made me laugh and cry too. You guys are awful smart. I needed all the words everyone posted. It hurts to go thru these milestones in alanon. But becuz we help each other, it makes it easier. I turned my phones off and I am not emailing right now. I feel I need a break fr...	debilyn	3	273	Aug 21, 2006 by maresie2
	right where we are supposed to be?? (Preview) (((((alanon family)))) Could someone please explain this to me? I hear it often that I am right where I am supposed to be,and everyone else seems to agree and understand.I guess I must be dense. We all know we can make bad decisions,bad choices.If I had stayed separated from my AH 10 years ag...	drucilla06	6	531	Aug 21, 2006 by kitty
	Anyone know about parole violation? (Preview) Here's my pickle. My aunt got released from jail on July 5th. She served 8 months for her 3rd or 4th DUI. She was staying with my mom, helping mom after a near death illness and left mom's place suddenly on August 9th and never came back. We found out on the 11t...	whittibo	4	275	Aug 21, 2006 by whittibo
	Who would withstand this insanity? (Preview) In one of my meditation books there was a line that caught my eye "Beauty and self love is a taught behavior that becomes habit--like self hatred." As I meditated on that today, I paused for a moment and realized I still have reminants of self hatred that we talk about in the 3 C's (I didn't ca...	Tiger2006	4	325	Aug 21, 2006 by lmt123
	Great meeting (Preview) We had our district roundup this weekend - it is an AA/alanon weekend, held at a local campground. It's always quite a lot of fun - pot luck dinner on Saturday night, pancake breakfast on Sunday, lot of open meetings, and speakers. It's never very well organized here - nobody ever knows who's doing...	lin0606	0	234	Aug 21, 2006 by lin0606
	Update-Elephant in the Living Room (Preview) Morning All, A couple of weeks ago I posted about the proverbial elephant in my living room and my concerns if he would join us on our family vacation. Well I am happy to say that he apparently took a seperate vacation. While not a perfect vacation - it was a good one. I had a couple of...	AlaMom	3	348	Aug 21, 2006 by megan
	detachment or abandonment? (Preview) I am trying very hard to detach from my son and his problems with alcohol and with his life (related to his problems, of course). This weekend started great with Friday's good activity with him and his ex and their baby going out to eat...a new tradition they are trying. Saturday morning he called to say...	omajoy	5	620	Aug 21, 2006 by greta
	Hanging on (Preview) First, I want to say thanks to everyone here, as the meetings and chats are helping me to get by, one day at a time. :) I'm learning more every day. I'm still having a really horrible time, and I feel guilty as I'm reading about so many active A's... my own A is newly in recovery, sober (as far...	GreenGem	4	323	Aug 21, 2006 by Becky1
	I lost in court (Preview) I had a hearing for yesterday for the restraining order I pulled on my almost ex, keeping his truck and emergency support. I got 1 out of three. The restraining order is in effect for 1 year. I only got this because he admitted pulling a gun. Lied about only pulling it on himsel...	Freatlast	17	512	Aug 21, 2006 by peewee
	So Today (Preview) So today I wake with only a small amount of anxiousness...this is good for me. The weekend was exhausting as most of mom's house is packed, sorted, etc. It is a very emotional journey. I have not talked to my A since Friday, as he went fishing for the weekend. I sat last night re...	marmare	1	241	Aug 21, 2006 by Dolphin123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.