Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) I need some ESH, advice or opinions here ... I know that is asking alot LOL. My house has not had any offers, without my A's income for the last 4 months I have not made the last 3 mortgage payments. Without some program from the mortgage company that I can afford while maintaini...

FormalWare · FormalWare

...I stopped "lurking", and ventured to contribute something. I'm one of those men who has an automatic "stop valve" in his chest/throat... when I think I'm about to let the emotions out--it clamps down, and I retain my composure (and my isolation... and my stress... and my illusion of control...) ...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I had a drama filled weekend. I don't have time to post on that right now, but I had something I wanted to share. I was thinking of Isabella the whole time this was happening. Last night my hubby and I were talking while we were getting ready for bed. I was in the middle of a sentence when I looke...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

I don't know really know the rules of alanon and asking for advice but I would really like some honest opinions for this problem. My A and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love his family. I am part of the family and I get along with his mother better than my own. I have gone on vac...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

A came back to the house we were suppose to be talking but I was so emotional out of it because of a death in the family I was not up to talking to him about "our" situation. Of course we end up having sex which never solves anything and today it seems to be back to the same old stuff, him drinking and sayi...

SnowWhite · SnowWhite

Hi, I am new here. Very happy to have found these boards. I am going to my first book meeting this week and have no idea which book they use. What can I expect? Can anyone help me out? Thanks so much.

kitty · kitty

Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too: 1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!). 2. I might need...

Madison81 · Madison81

Okay, I guess I'm looking for a sponsor, but I'm not 100% on that. I would like someone that I can share my story with, and learn from theirs. I would like someone who I can chat with and talk about the new things that have come up, problems and such, and how they relate to al-anon. I would like someone to go th...

afmom03 · afmom03

I was the one who had a drinking problem, the way it turned up on the messages board!! I do promise ya'll tho...I was not under the influence of ANYTHING!! I wonder why it came out like that? <LOL> Hope you were able to follow it and write it down!! <LOL> I need to learn how to do these dang compu...

Christy · Christy

I had a request to post about my trip to Alaska so here it is. Getting there and back is a pain in the butt, takes 12 hours from doorstep to doorstep. I was exhausted. Adjusting to the 3 hour time difference was a bit rough too. That's the only bad parts. My hubby was a wonderful tour guide and ha...

shamama · shamama

alcoholic is my kids' dad. he skipped his weekend visitation twice because he was too drunk . i was always so worried he'd be hungover when he picked up the kids. i cancelled his weekend visits. i made it short so that i didn't add my own opinion in. -- Edited by shamama at 1...

hersh · hersh

Help guys, need some more advice: Well AH did admit he has been seeing someone. I confronted him about it and he said, that when I left in April (we were separated for two months) he was so lonely and afraid that he went out and happened to meet someone. He said that our relationsh...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Hi All Need to vent...husband use to be caring and loving ..I think..past is starting to get blurry Now that I am in alanon I don't want to rage and then make up...our usual pattern..so now there is silence...no attempt on his part to say he is sorry for coming in at 5:30am..just a casual question as t...

serendipity · serendipity

i know better. went to a water park yesterday for my daughter's birthday. ex ah came along to help. we drove seperatly to accomidate all the kids. i was grateful he could be sober and help. but 2 hours in a car with all that time to think was not good for me. but the day went well, everyone had fun. 2 hours to dr...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

It isn't all about me after all...last night my teenage daughter started yelling at me for "reading all the time" She still believes that if I yell at him her father will stop drinking...if I call him he will come home etc I finally told her to say what she needed to say to her father. I sat and li...

curious · curious

Okay--Isabella started us off laughing at our situations (at the expense of the addicts in our lives). I think that it may be equally as...well, as funny to laugh at ourselves. So here is a list. This is me. Please feel free to chuckle, laugh out loud, or cry. All of the...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey guys right here is the situation.. i went to see my "A" last week for a "chat" our scenerio went as follows: A : so whats happening with us? ME : what do u mean.. US.. there is NO US A : Right.no need to take my head off... i want to to know that i still love you and ur the one &nb...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Today is hubby's 47th birthday!

It was a nice day. Pipers Kitty brought her Dad a big fat mole for breakfast! (Guess who cleaned up that one! He did the laundry this morning. Hey, I offered, honest I did. I did...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, me again, I rereading my last post. I realize it is all about my husband and his Mother. I know I can't change it. years ago, I would have been thrilled that he was not in a bar, or that he was drinking less. He does not expect me to wait dinner. He tells me to cook for 6PM, that he will be home wh...

mimi · mimi

My AH has many more issues than alcohol - at least that's what I believe. I actually believe the alcohol is secondary. I'm guessing (not sure, mind you) that he is somewhat depressed and very ADD and started self-medicating with alcohol - it then got out of control. My anger right now st...

Barbara · Barbara

anyone planning on attending? Its in Nov

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Yesterday was a big day. I got the keys to my apt. Yea! But the operative word was *small*. Very small. And my first thought was "OMG, My mom is going to rip me to ribbons." So of course the dirvishes are whirling. I'm bracing myself for when my parents see it--my mom is giving me her futon an...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I hate when I get this unsettled feeling in my chest and belly. This feeling that I am doing something wrong. My emotions have been getting the best of me. I keep feeling that I should be doing something else, that I deserve more. I always told myself that I would never put up with infidelity fro...

Diva · Diva

He is drunk. Went out this afternoon to put gasoline in his car, and drove home drunk. On about a half bottle of sherry. YUCK!! He went to bed and collapsed. I am determined to hang on to my sanity. But I DID set a boundary several months ago; he drinks, he goes. It is my house and my money. I am sorry that he wil...

Rita G · Rita G

Hey MIP family, Several of the ladies I have been working with lately have really been struggling with the area of "Taking Care of You" and I must admit so do I. What is it about our thinking as parents, workers, the responsible ones in a relationship, Adult Children of Alcoholics, spouse of Alcolo...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) You remember the movie with Tom Cruise where he is a young military lawyer? Well ... my AW and I had a bit of an argument last night. I did raise my voice a little and I was checking myself today to see if that was really warranted or not. I could have gotten my...

Texasjoni21 · Texasjoni21

Hey Roomies! I finally made it to the library! Hey Mspeewee, DE, Rose, Dana, Ria, Josey, Cjo, Kis , Senorabob, Nigel, Belle, Garom, Sparkly lovette, Mac daddy, Buzzers, and everybody !!!! I miss ya'll so much! I feel as if I've been put in solitary confinement! My puter's been on the blink an...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

Hi everyone! ....and I was being so good at detaching and avoiding confrontation. She was supposed to be going to an AA meeting tonight and I had arranged my evening accordingly. At 5pm she comes to me and tells me she has been invited to a combined AA/Al-Anon meeting...about 2 hours away... and wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) OK today I was reading some posts, here and other boards. i happened across one that mentioned the person not trusting anyone in their group. It started me thinking .... there was a time I would censor my words and thoughts here somewhat. My last post was ha...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

I'm hoping you all can answer this for me. Will it help if I tell my A that alcohol is not allowed in the house. I am thinking he will not want to be in a house where alcohol is not allowed. I mentioned this once and he said "I'm an adult and if I want to drink I will drink, you have no right to t...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have had a couple of rough days and need to vent a little....first of all my car broke down, oh shat, and it's a mojor problem...money....I have a final interview for one he jobs I applied for and who knows...so, I need my car.......I am praying the shift is a good one.....a job I appl...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi All, I have been getting the silent treatment for about a week from a male friend, an alcoholic by the way. After a small spat, I gave an apology and he is giving me the silent treatment....makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I keep trying to talk to him every few days and nothing works! I am t...

bev · bev

well he came home from work alittle early today..he was in a so-so mood..my granddaughter just woke up from her nap and she was cranky,so my daughter was holding her and walking around the house trying to calm her down,he kep saying take her in the bedroom,so i dont have to hear here cry,i walked in...

lebe27 · lebe27

Hi all, Just thought some of you might be interested in the article. It pertains to a study to find the drunkest cities in the US. I find it interesting that they found them to be mostly located in the northeast or mid atlantic states (colder climate states) and that they appear to be citi...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

A is not my husband. We have lived together for 5 years, we don't have children together, and I don't feel the same responsibility that everyone here seems to have in coping with their A. I care about A but I don't want to have to use coping skills to deal with his drinking and abuse. Ye...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

My A has been out of the house for 6 days now and although I am keeping busy.. I have feelings of being alone....is it unusual to feel this way...although I feel better by not having to deal with his insulting drunk behavior He seems to be doing fine away from the house and for the most part I am to...

MarvlMan · MarvlMan

For over a year my girlfriend has been sober She told me last week, and did a month ago, that when she goes to college [she's only 18] she's not so sure she wants to be sober any more. Her roomate is in AA also, and sober now. I'm worried as hell. Can someone in AA drink casually? Get drunk once in awhile...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Mid July I asked my H if he loved me enough to let me go. I felt so tired and worn out from constantly taking care of him and picking up the messes he makes outta life. He said yes and we began the plan for him to get his own place. Ever since, things have for the most part been going great for...

Madison81 · Madison81

Hi. I'm somewhat new here and had a question. I have a family member who is an A, and that is the main reason I am involved with Al-anon. However, there are also many other drugs he is addicted to. Can I use al-anon for that as well? Or is is strictly for alcoholism?

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

Before joining this board I use to post all the time on a co-dependent board. They had an online journal that I use to post on frequently. I decided to go back and read thru my journal to see if I had made any progress. What I found is that I am still in the same situation that I was i...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Since I have been attending meetings and also stopped calling him home from the bar, my husband's drinking has gotten worse. He doesn't seem to care about me or his family at all anymore. Not much dialogue between us. What is there to say when he goes out every other night to his frie...

Gailey · Gailey

I just got off the phone with A son. His daughters are at my house. Hubby is also there. He has furniture in my guest house that I have been trying to get him to move out and clean the place up for I don't know how long. The kids came yesterday. He's been home since Wednesday night. He told me several different...

ollie · ollie

Hi everone, dont know if you remember me,if you dont a short version,h has been in homeless hostel since april,as i bodily threw him out clothes and all. this was a great move should have done it 3yrs ago,they have been a god send,they have helped him sort himself out,we meet up every sat beca...

maire rua · maire rua

Well, emailed terms and conditions for the future, was not long before he tried to have it his way again and forget negotiated agreement. Calmly reminded him of negotiaged agreement, stating why I could not fulfil new terms and told him I would continue until he found a replacement for me. I will reite...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

The silent treatment is a pet peeve of mine. My father was a pro growing up. My family was dsyfunctional though there were no drugs or alcohol involved. My father could go for days maybe weeks at a time when I was a teen with the silent treatment. I could not stand it then nor can I stand it now....

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

My A had an appt today at 8:15am. I set my clock and got up. I asked if she had set a clock she said the dogs would wake her up. So she got up & feed most all the dogs indoors. Gave meds, flushed vinnys wounds took him to pee, gave him water & fed him. Then doctored the two other dogs before she got dress...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Still having problems with my short term job. One member of staff has tried to make my life hell this summer, I have been under constant surveillance. Unfortunately though this job finishes next week I will still need to have contact and as his behaviour is getting worse in relation to...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

After not hearing from my husband in a little more than week he calls me today at work to ask me (accuse me) if I had been over to the house. He works out of town during the week. Well I haven't and told him so. He said that someone thought they saw me in the neighborhood and he thoug...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, Need your views on this.... My Aboyfriend who I love very much and usually enjoy being with has recently changed jobs. This means he wants to move out of his house to be nearer work. (He cannot drive at the moment...lost his license) At the moment he shares with his drinking bu...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Monday I got to plan G before we left the house. I got home around 10:30am. she was suppose to be ready to go to town. I unloaded almost the entire car from the sale items by myself. I was thinking where the H is she? I went inside & she was still not ready. I sat down quietly and said nothing. She sai...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I found this to be a great "mood setter" for me today. Thought you might like it. Everyone has so much going on, just for today... I am going to let today be a good day and not try to overthink or overdo anything. Just enjoy that the sun is up and I am here to enj...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) This is hard to write, hard to admit. I'm angry at myself for being jealous of others who have had the blessing of their A's finding recovery while still together, and with others that have hope of a life of recovery together. Logically I can think it is probably natural, and I am...

hersh · hersh

Please help me, God. I just found out that AH is talking to someone. It is so devastating. I am just so upset about it. I just can't believe he would ever ever do this. He hid the cell phone bill lastnight and I wondered why and I looked it up online today. He has been talk...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I feel like a boulder has been removed from my chest. I can breath again! I know the truth. Found out ex was cheating on me. Confronted her and then him. He called me later that day to let me know I would never see his 6 year old son again (who I love very much) . When I confronted him in a very even voi...

ohera101 · ohera101

Hi all! I am really proud of myself....I finally seperated myself and my son from my AH the best I can. We already live seperately. He says he doesn't want to be married anymore. Or that's what he said originally. I can never tell if has a clue what he wants. He is working on finding his way to true recover...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

I have been reading alot of the posts and they are helpful. In regarding about the infidelity I started wondering if my A has been unfaithful to me. Although I have never found anything to lead me in the direction I have often felt he was having flings which would be hard for me to prove becau...

Cyn · Cyn

Last summer I was desperately trying to make ends meet - working my tail off doing 3-4 jobs to feel like I wasnt counting pennies to pay for things. I had a deadbeat boyfriend who I loved dearly and thought he had the drive and determination to work for his future as well. All he was working fo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well this Saturday is hubby's 47th birthday.

This week will also mark his 90 day + sobriety.

I can't believe that 3 months has passed since he was in ICU and I was preparing myself to the possibility of saying good bye to him.&nbs...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I am not quite sure how to put this in words so I will to my best to keep it brief. Lately, I have been feeling uncertain of things. Not so much my A. But me, and what I want. I have clarity on a few things but not everything. I know in the program it takes times. But I still feel at times I go threw a whole spectrum o...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

so i left my a a month and a half ago or longer. im happy and know in my heart i dont want to be with him. and that i deserve so much more. but right now my serenity is being destroyed. he is seriously mentally ill right now and telling me he is going to kill himself. i know most of you will tell me tha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I need ESH and advice on financial + matters (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) I need some ESH, advice or opinions here ... I know that is asking alot LOL. My house has not had any offers, without my A's income for the last 4 months I have not made the last 3 mortgage payments. Without some program from the mortgage company that I can afford while maintaini...	Jennifer	9	691	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	It's about time... (Preview) ...I stopped "lurking", and ventured to contribute something. I'm one of those men who has an automatic "stop valve" in his chest/throat... when I think I'm about to let the emotions out--it clamps down, and I retain my composure (and my isolation... and my stress... and my illusion of control...) ...	FormalWare	4	483	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Funny bug story. (Preview) Hi all, I had a drama filled weekend. I don't have time to post on that right now, but I had something I wanted to share. I was thinking of Isabella the whole time this was happening. Last night my hubby and I were talking while we were getting ready for bed. I was in the middle of a sentence when I looke...	Dolphin123	1	631	Aug 28, 2006 by isabela40
	the family should be helping..right? (Preview) I don't know really know the rules of alanon and asking for advice but I would really like some honest opinions for this problem. My A and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love his family. I am part of the family and I get along with his mother better than my own. I have gone on vac...	daisygrl4	9	619	Aug 28, 2006 by Gailey
	Nothing Changes (Preview) A came back to the house we were suppose to be talking but I was so emotional out of it because of a death in the family I was not up to talking to him about "our" situation. Of course we end up having sex which never solves anything and today it seems to be back to the same old stuff, him drinking and sayi...	LadyLibra	3	466	Aug 28, 2006 by hersh
	New here & need help with books. (Preview) Hi, I am new here. Very happy to have found these boards. I am going to my first book meeting this week and have no idea which book they use. What can I expect? Can anyone help me out? Thanks so much.	SnowWhite	5	740	Aug 28, 2006 by lildee
	I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When... (Preview) Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too: 1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!). 2. I might need...	kitty	6	544	Aug 28, 2006 by rtexas
	Looking for someone to help... (Preview) Okay, I guess I'm looking for a sponsor, but I'm not 100% on that. I would like someone that I can share my story with, and learn from theirs. I would like someone who I can chat with and talk about the new things that have come up, problems and such, and how they relate to al-anon. I would like someone to go th...	Madison81	5	539	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	My last post looked like...LOL (Preview) I was the one who had a drinking problem, the way it turned up on the messages board!! I do promise ya'll tho...I was not under the influence of ANYTHING!! I wonder why it came out like that? <LOL> Hope you were able to follow it and write it down!! <LOL> I need to learn how to do these dang compu...	afmom03	1	420	Aug 28, 2006 by lilms
	Obviously I'm back from Alaska :) (Preview) I had a request to post about my trip to Alaska so here it is. Getting there and back is a pain in the butt, takes 12 hours from doorstep to doorstep. I was exhausted. Adjusting to the 3 hour time difference was a bit rough too. That's the only bad parts. My hubby was a wonderful tour guide and ha...	Christy	12	2426	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	is this enabling? (Preview) alcoholic is my kids' dad. he skipped his weekend visitation twice because he was too drunk . i was always so worried he'd be hungover when he picked up the kids. i cancelled his weekend visits. i made it short so that i didn't add my own opinion in. -- Edited by shamama at 1...	shamama	4	456	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	Infidelity advice... please (Preview) Help guys, need some more advice: Well AH did admit he has been seeing someone. I confronted him about it and he said, that when I left in April (we were separated for two months) he was so lonely and afraid that he went out and happened to meet someone. He said that our relationsh...	hersh	5	603	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	silence is killing my marriage (Preview) Hi All Need to vent...husband use to be caring and loving ..I think..past is starting to get blurry Now that I am in alanon I don't want to rage and then make up...our usual pattern..so now there is silence...no attempt on his part to say he is sorry for coming in at 5:30am..just a casual question as t...	Elizabeth M	10	589	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
	what was i thinking? (Preview) i know better. went to a water park yesterday for my daughter's birthday. ex ah came along to help. we drove seperatly to accomidate all the kids. i was grateful he could be sober and help. but 2 hours in a car with all that time to think was not good for me. but the day went well, everyone had fun. 2 hours to dr...	serendipity	4	666	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
	silence is killing my daughter (Preview) It isn't all about me after all...last night my teenage daughter started yelling at me for "reading all the time" She still believes that if I yell at him her father will stop drinking...if I call him he will come home etc I finally told her to say what she needed to say to her father. I sat and li...	Elizabeth M	2	489	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
	Laughing at Us (Preview) Okay--Isabella started us off laughing at our situations (at the expense of the addicts in our lives). I think that it may be equally as...well, as funny to laugh at ourselves. So here is a list. This is me. Please feel free to chuckle, laugh out loud, or cry. All of the...	curious	3	511	Aug 27, 2006 by curious
	feelings boiling over... (Preview) hey guys right here is the situation.. i went to see my "A" last week for a "chat" our scenerio went as follows: A : so whats happening with us? ME : what do u mean.. US.. there is NO US A : Right.no need to take my head off... i want to to know that i still love you and ur the one &nb...	Rebecca	4	387	Aug 27, 2006 by maresie2
	Nice Day! (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Today is hubby's 47th birthday! It was a nice day. Pipers Kitty brought her Dad a big fat mole for breakfast! (Guess who cleaned up that one! He did the laundry this morning. Hey, I offered, honest I did. I did...	Karilynn	6	488	Aug 27, 2006 by tea2
	Me again (Preview) Hi, me again, I rereading my last post. I realize it is all about my husband and his Mother. I know I can't change it. years ago, I would have been thrilled that he was not in a bar, or that he was drinking less. He does not expect me to wait dinner. He tells me to cook for 6PM, that he will be home wh...	Jeannie	6	443	Aug 27, 2006 by Tiger2006
	So tired of it all being my fault... (Preview) My AH has many more issues than alcohol - at least that's what I believe. I actually believe the alcohol is secondary. I'm guessing (not sure, mind you) that he is somewhat depressed and very ADD and started self-medicating with alcohol - it then got out of control. My anger right now st...	mimi	2	449	Aug 27, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Nashua NH AA conference w/AlAnon (Preview) anyone planning on attending? Its in Nov	Barbara	2	513	Aug 27, 2006 by Barbara
	Could really use some affirmations (Preview) Yesterday was a big day. I got the keys to my apt. Yea! But the operative word was small. Very small. And my first thought was "OMG, My mom is going to rip me to ribbons." So of course the dirvishes are whirling. I'm bracing myself for when my parents see it--my mom is giving me her futon an...	Tiger2006	10	720	Aug 27, 2006 by Tiger2006
	The other woman? (Preview) Hi, I hate when I get this unsettled feeling in my chest and belly. This feeling that I am doing something wrong. My emotions have been getting the best of me. I keep feeling that I should be doing something else, that I deserve more. I always told myself that I would never put up with infidelity fro...	Jeannie	4	596	Aug 27, 2006 by TLC2
	Well, goodness gracious.. (Preview) He is drunk. Went out this afternoon to put gasoline in his car, and drove home drunk. On about a half bottle of sherry. YUCK!! He went to bed and collapsed. I am determined to hang on to my sanity. But I DID set a boundary several months ago; he drinks, he goes. It is my house and my money. I am sorry that he wil...	Diva	11	670	Aug 27, 2006 by kitty
	Taking Care of You (Preview) Hey MIP family, Several of the ladies I have been working with lately have really been struggling with the area of "Taking Care of You" and I must admit so do I. What is it about our thinking as parents, workers, the responsible ones in a relationship, Adult Children of Alcoholics, spouse of Alcolo...	Rita G	4	524	Aug 27, 2006 by kitty
	YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) You remember the movie with Tom Cruise where he is a young military lawyer? Well ... my AW and I had a bit of an argument last night. I did raise my voice a little and I was checking myself today to see if that was really warranted or not. I could have gotten my...	rtexas	5	596	Aug 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	Finally Made it to the Library! (Preview) Hey Roomies! I finally made it to the library! Hey Mspeewee, DE, Rose, Dana, Ria, Josey, Cjo, Kis , Senorabob, Nigel, Belle, Garom, Sparkly lovette, Mac daddy, Buzzers, and everybody !!!! I miss ya'll so much! I feel as if I've been put in solitary confinement! My puter's been on the blink an...	Texasjoni21	4	482	Aug 26, 2006 by Becky1
	Was I right or not? (Preview) Hi everyone! ....and I was being so good at detaching and avoiding confrontation. She was supposed to be going to an AA meeting tonight and I had arranged my evening accordingly. At 5pm she comes to me and tells me she has been invited to a combined AA/Al-Anon meeting...about 2 hours away... and wa...	Mike5056	4	581	Aug 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	Trust ..... (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) OK today I was reading some posts, here and other boards. i happened across one that mentioned the person not trusting anyone in their group. It started me thinking .... there was a time I would censor my words and thoughts here somewhat. My last post was ha...	Jennifer	2	519	Aug 26, 2006 by maresie2
	No Alcohol in the house rule (Preview) I'm hoping you all can answer this for me. Will it help if I tell my A that alcohol is not allowed in the house. I am thinking he will not want to be in a house where alcohol is not allowed. I mentioned this once and he said "I'm an adult and if I want to drink I will drink, you have no right to t...	LadyLibra	7	1322	Aug 26, 2006 by maresie2
	Trying to Keep my Sanity (Preview) Hello Friends, I have had a couple of rough days and need to vent a little....first of all my car broke down, oh shat, and it's a mojor problem...money....I have a final interview for one he jobs I applied for and who knows...so, I need my car.......I am praying the shift is a good one.....a job I appl...	Andrea12	5	526	Aug 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	Another Silent Treatment Issue (Preview) Hi All, I have been getting the silent treatment for about a week from a male friend, an alcoholic by the way. After a small spat, I gave an apology and he is giving me the silent treatment....makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I keep trying to talk to him every few days and nothing works! I am t...	beachbaby	5	618	Aug 26, 2006 by maresie2
	im so tried of my a/addicts abuse..plus im such a chicken (Preview) well he came home from work alittle early today..he was in a so-so mood..my granddaughter just woke up from her nap and she was cranky,so my daughter was holding her and walking around the house trying to calm her down,he kep saying take her in the bedroom,so i dont have to hear here cry,i walked in...	bev	5	571	Aug 26, 2006 by maresie2
	Forbes.com Article (Preview) Hi all, Just thought some of you might be interested in the article. It pertains to a study to find the drunkest cities in the US. I find it interesting that they found them to be mostly located in the northeast or mid atlantic states (colder climate states) and that they appear to be citi...	lebe27	3	534	Aug 26, 2006 by isabela40
	Not My Husband (Preview) A is not my husband. We have lived together for 5 years, we don't have children together, and I don't feel the same responsibility that everyone here seems to have in coping with their A. I care about A but I don't want to have to use coping skills to deal with his drinking and abuse. Ye...	LadyLibra	2	497	Aug 26, 2006 by isabela40
	Feelings of Being Alone (Preview) My A has been out of the house for 6 days now and although I am keeping busy.. I have feelings of being alone....is it unusual to feel this way...although I feel better by not having to deal with his insulting drunk behavior He seems to be doing fine away from the house and for the most part I am to...	LadyLibra	4	448	Aug 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	How Do You Be A Supportive Significant Other? (Preview) For over a year my girlfriend has been sober She told me last week, and did a month ago, that when she goes to college [she's only 18] she's not so sure she wants to be sober any more. Her roomate is in AA also, and sober now. I'm worried as hell. Can someone in AA drink casually? Get drunk once in awhile...	MarvlMan	4	613	Aug 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	Why now?..I too am about to Chicken Out (Preview) Mid July I asked my H if he loved me enough to let me go. I felt so tired and worn out from constantly taking care of him and picking up the messes he makes outta life. He said yes and we began the plan for him to get his own place. Ever since, things have for the most part been going great for...	tishrijo	4	590	Aug 25, 2006 by tishrijo
	More than just alcohol.... (Preview) Hi. I'm somewhat new here and had a question. I have a family member who is an A, and that is the main reason I am involved with Al-anon. However, there are also many other drugs he is addicted to. Can I use al-anon for that as well? Or is is strictly for alcoholism?	Madison81	2	432	Aug 25, 2006 by Madison81
	It's Time For Me To Let Go (Preview) Before joining this board I use to post all the time on a co-dependent board. They had an online journal that I use to post on frequently. I decided to go back and read thru my journal to see if I had made any progress. What I found is that I am still in the same situation that I was i...	JulieLynn	3	519	Aug 25, 2006 by Tammy
	getting worse (Preview) Since I have been attending meetings and also stopped calling him home from the bar, my husband's drinking has gotten worse. He doesn't seem to care about me or his family at all anymore. Not much dialogue between us. What is there to say when he goes out every other night to his frie...	Elizabeth M	6	560	Aug 25, 2006 by hersh
	OK...JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN (Preview) I just got off the phone with A son. His daughters are at my house. Hubby is also there. He has furniture in my guest house that I have been trying to get him to move out and clean the place up for I don't know how long. The kids came yesterday. He's been home since Wednesday night. He told me several different...	Gailey	6	769	Aug 25, 2006 by hersh
	FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE (Preview) Hi everone, dont know if you remember me,if you dont a short version,h has been in homeless hostel since april,as i bodily threw him out clothes and all. this was a great move should have done it 3yrs ago,they have been a god send,they have helped him sort himself out,we meet up every sat beca...	ollie	2	529	Aug 25, 2006 by kismetstrand
	Bullying in the workplace contd (Preview) Well, emailed terms and conditions for the future, was not long before he tried to have it his way again and forget negotiated agreement. Calmly reminded him of negotiaged agreement, stating why I could not fulfil new terms and told him I would continue until he found a replacement for me. I will reite...	maire rua	2	473	Aug 25, 2006 by maire rua
	How do you deal with the silent treatment? (Preview) The silent treatment is a pet peeve of mine. My father was a pro growing up. My family was dsyfunctional though there were no drugs or alcohol involved. My father could go for days maybe weeks at a time when I was a teen with the silent treatment. I could not stand it then nor can I stand it now....	hmrnrnmm	3	651	Aug 25, 2006 by Jennifer
	I do not care & it is not my business (Preview) My A had an appt today at 8:15am. I set my clock and got up. I asked if she had set a clock she said the dogs would wake her up. So she got up & feed most all the dogs indoors. Gave meds, flushed vinnys wounds took him to pee, gave him water & fed him. Then doctored the two other dogs before she got dress...	hmrnrnmm	2	693	Aug 25, 2006 by maire rua
	re; bullying behaviour (Preview) Hi All, Still having problems with my short term job. One member of staff has tried to make my life hell this summer, I have been under constant surveillance. Unfortunately though this job finishes next week I will still need to have contact and as his behaviour is getting worse in relation to...	maire rua	4	553	Aug 25, 2006 by maire rua
	Just Needing to Vent (Preview) After not hearing from my husband in a little more than week he calls me today at work to ask me (accuse me) if I had been over to the house. He works out of town during the week. Well I haven't and told him so. He said that someone thought they saw me in the neighborhood and he thoug...	JulieLynn	4	406	Aug 25, 2006 by annmarie
	movin in? (Preview) Hi everyone, Need your views on this.... My Aboyfriend who I love very much and usually enjoy being with has recently changed jobs. This means he wants to move out of his house to be nearer work. (He cannot drive at the moment...lost his license) At the moment he shares with his drinking bu...	annmarie	8	494	Aug 25, 2006 by annmarie
	frustrations & how do you feel empathy for the active A? (Preview) Monday I got to plan G before we left the house. I got home around 10:30am. she was suppose to be ready to go to town. I unloaded almost the entire car from the sale items by myself. I was thinking where the H is she? I went inside & she was still not ready. I sat down quietly and said nothing. She sai...	hmrnrnmm	2	582	Aug 24, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Today is a new day (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I found this to be a great "mood setter" for me today. Thought you might like it. Everyone has so much going on, just for today... I am going to let today be a good day and not try to overthink or overdo anything. Just enjoy that the sun is up and I am here to enj...	rtexas	2	502	Aug 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	Jealousy of others recovery (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) This is hard to write, hard to admit. I'm angry at myself for being jealous of others who have had the blessing of their A's finding recovery while still together, and with others that have hope of a life of recovery together. Logically I can think it is probably natural, and I am...	Jennifer	10	644	Aug 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	I need HELP. (Preview) Please help me, God. I just found out that AH is talking to someone. It is so devastating. I am just so upset about it. I just can't believe he would ever ever do this. He hid the cell phone bill lastnight and I wondered why and I looked it up online today. He has been talk...	hersh	9	606	Aug 24, 2006 by smpoli
	IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!! (Preview) I feel like a boulder has been removed from my chest. I can breath again! I know the truth. Found out ex was cheating on me. Confronted her and then him. He called me later that day to let me know I would never see his 6 year old son again (who I love very much) . When I confronted him in a very even voi...	sisdragonfly1957	7	687	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	Detachment (Preview) Hi all! I am really proud of myself....I finally seperated myself and my son from my AH the best I can. We already live seperately. He says he doesn't want to be married anymore. Or that's what he said originally. I can never tell if has a clue what he wants. He is working on finding his way to true recover...	ohera101	6	609	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	WONDERING (Preview) I have been reading alot of the posts and they are helpful. In regarding about the infidelity I started wondering if my A has been unfaithful to me. Although I have never found anything to lead me in the direction I have often felt he was having flings which would be hard for me to prove becau...	LadyLibra	5	470	Aug 24, 2006 by LadyLibra
	Looking back (Preview) Last summer I was desperately trying to make ends meet - working my tail off doing 3-4 jobs to feel like I wasnt counting pennies to pay for things. I had a deadbeat boyfriend who I loved dearly and thought he had the drive and determination to work for his future as well. All he was working fo...	Cyn	6	431	Aug 24, 2006 by just me
	A 90 day thank you & hubby's birthday (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well this Saturday is hubby's 47th birthday. This week will also mark his 90 day + sobriety. I can't believe that 3 months has passed since he was in ICU and I was preparing myself to the possibility of saying good bye to him.&nbs...	Karilynn	7	710	Aug 24, 2006 by Rita G
	Question (Preview) I am not quite sure how to put this in words so I will to my best to keep it brief. Lately, I have been feeling uncertain of things. Not so much my A. But me, and what I want. I have clarity on a few things but not everything. I know in the program it takes times. But I still feel at times I go threw a whole spectrum o...	DoN4me	5	443	Aug 24, 2006 by kismetstrand
	suicide threats (Preview) so i left my a a month and a half ago or longer. im happy and know in my heart i dont want to be with him. and that i deserve so much more. but right now my serenity is being destroyed. he is seriously mentally ill right now and telling me he is going to kill himself. i know most of you will tell me tha...	notsonew1111	7	747	Aug 24, 2006 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.