Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lilms · lilms

Obviously still very much a newbie here

What is JADE, have tried figuring it out and all I could come up with is Just Another Drunken Escapade. Shows where my life is I guess. Could someone please help? lilms

marks girl · marks girl

Hello Everyone, My name is Barbara and I am from Tennessee. I am here because my b\f has a drinking problem. He knows he does and is doing something about it. It took some really bad things to happen to make him see his problem. To make a long story short he had a brush wiht the law at a bar where I was t...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((everyone))))) Thanks for your earlier responses. Maria I laughed when I read yours, I haven't been able to get in touch w/ my sponsor, What would she say? "Sure we've all wanted to quit, but we don't." And that would be it, we keep going. However slow, we just do it unti...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I am really trying to stay on the right path to recovery. Being able to objectively reread an online journal over the weekend I had from back in Novemeber of 2004 has been a huge step in my recovery. I was able to recognize a pattern between my A and myself. The arguments, him telling m...

Gailey · Gailey

Ever since I can remember my father's Asim has made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. I totally understand why. I did not know it was a disease. Today I have compassion for him. He passed away in 1986. Why do I still feel ashamed of having an A son? I understand it is a disease, I have compassion for him b...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just wanted to tell you that I'm doing GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEat today! I sent LOTS of emails--including thank you notes to the people who got me out of my dad's house; my advisor; the volunteer co ordinator (for where I do volunteer work!

). And I made phone calls to my Drs to get appts mad...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Shortly after I had my last child I noticed that things about me were changing. At the time I wrote them off as dealing w/ active disease. Things did not seem to resolve the more I worked the program in my life so I went to my doctor. Presented the laundry list of symptoms and was told it...

debilyn · debilyn

I know I am a broken record about this, but I also know the more we talk and get it out, the sooner we heal. Was in town getting feed, (what else, not like I am out getting nails done or a massage...)and when I am in the store, driving there, I feel alone. Just a bit back I was ok again with the aloneness and it w...

Gailey · Gailey

Well here is the cure ... Just smile and say... Dear Lord ... I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best!

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) Thanks to all for the prayers I am feeling better today. I took some steps even in my pain and a little self-pity to some things for me. I've been exercising now everyday since Sunday. I had to really pray on this one because I was so mad at my A for expressing his un...

Georgia girl · Georgia girl

Someone touched on the disease starting from somthing more deep seated... to quote: I don't think it is a "disease" but a chronic MENTAL problem that is very complex, deep seated, and difficult to treat. I spent years in denial that my husband had a "drinking problem"...I tr...

artygirl · artygirl

I met with my new lawyer today and started divorce proceedings. I have an appointment Friday to sign the paperwork. I am feeling a lot of different feelings today, mostly sad. Sad that I have to leave the man I love because he loves drinking and cocaine more than he loves being with me. Sad that I'll most l...

MaggiG · MaggiG

Hello Everyone, I am asking humbly for prayers for a family that I do not even know. But I know the power of prayer and the power that Alanon prayer has. My Best friend and love was killed in head on collusion 8-17-06 in Boyle , Canada. There were three cars in this crash. The one passing was...

Cilla · Cilla

Hi everybody. I havn't been on in a bit. Illness had a way of stealing away my energy levels and extra stress this year hasn't helped! Living with alcoholics my entire life does take its toll on us. Well... at least it has on me. So glad I am that I have suc...

hunnydoll · hunnydoll

Im new to alanon. Im only six months in my local program. I need an online sponser. Is there an experienced sponser willing to help.

serendipity · serendipity

i guess my ex called ,drunk, sunday at 2:30am. i didn't hear the phone thankfully but he left a message. my 7 yr old checked the messages today and we heard him, so completly wasted. she didn't recognize his voice, she thought it was sylvester stalone.....i wish! lol! it was suprising to me. our relatio...

Lani · Lani

Hi Friends, Here are some quotes and wisdom shared with me today. Take what you like and leave the rest. Every little bit helps. Love you all! Lani Conflicts with the kids? Relax! “Family life! The United Nations is child's play compared to the tugs and splits and need to understand and forgive in any...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I seem to travel in circles. I'm back to that place where I want someone else to do this for me. I am tired. I just don't want to do this anymore -- "this" meaning working my program, dealing w/ all the crap. The thing is I know without this program I'd have a WHOLE lot more crap to deal w...

hunnydoll · hunnydoll

My name is Rhonda. Im from Illinois. I have a son name Ryan and he is 18. Hes a great kid. My pride and joy. Im a cocktail waitress on a casino. I also date an Alcoholic. Being around addicts are bothering me. That is why Im here. Im aslo a graduate from my local college. I just finished my fourth certificatio...

Diva · Diva

Today I am limp. The realization of what is to come has hit me like a ton of bricks. He will not talk about his problem; changes the subject at the mere mention of what comes next. Refuses to get help. Says he doesn't need help. Yeah, right! He has been asleep since 5 p.m. yesterday afternoon when he collaps...

debilyn · debilyn

. Visit You Ok as usual Bentlee peecat is on my head. How do I know you ask? I just felt a drip of slobber hit my cheek. At least it missed my glasses. Been calling Brown Gi-'sun-ka, pronounced Gishoeka. Means brown dog in Dakota Sioux, my gramas tribe. ...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi family))) Just thought I would share my feelings today. When in times of trouble I usually reach out to help someone else – but my mind is in turmoil and my heart is breaking because of the possible infidelity that I just found out about last week so I haven’t been much help here to...

Barbara · Barbara

anyone going?

Gemuk91 · Gemuk91

Hello every one , i have been in the chat room a couple of times and i am looking forward to getting to know you all better ODAT. I was Wondring how your group handles members who have been around a while, who know about sharing from the Alanon program who continue to share about out side issue...

Leah · Leah

Hello my name is Leah, been here B4 but not for awhile. Have more than one A in my family but right now it is my Father who is my biggest worry/concern. His wife (not my Mother) died this year (she was an A also) and he went downhill even further than he already was. He drinks ALL the time,...

nikkilou · nikkilou

HI, This is a money issue I hope it o.k to write about. My A is not working. He is sober almost one and a half years. I never pushed him to get a job he always said hw working on staying sober. He goes to two meeting a day. But I'm all tapped out. I have on more savings....

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family))))))))), I am one of those women who loves a good tool box! Must come from all the theatre work and the years I spent with my Dad watching him in his workshop. I love the smell of sawdust. Take me to a lumber yard, and I'm yours for life!

I have my fishi...

purpleraven · purpleraven

... also got "Blueprint For Change" to help me with the 4th step (i like Q&A format journaling). i'm not the kind of person to literally read daily affirmations on the day they say, i just pick the book C2C at random and read, if it applies to my current feelings/situation then i journal about it. anyway,...

manda0719 · manda0719

Hello, Well, here goes nothing…(or should I say everything) My name is Amanda. I am 24 yrs old. I am married to a wonderful man for about 3.5 years now. We have the most adorable baby boy who is 7 months old. My father has been an alcoholic for all of my life....

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

I read a great post here today titled the list. I give this person so much credit because here's the only list in my head. The only phrase in my head is I'm so sick of....Here's what I am sick of: sick of the smell from my A, sick of the drunk mumbling, sick of the hurtful words, sick of the...

daisy2 · daisy2

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every nig...

Gailey · Gailey

only your A can choose his path in recovery. Twinmom~ Alanon can help you to think more about you. You learn we have no control over the A. We stop even bringing it up to them as it is not our concern. We think about how we feel, what we want. ...

afmom03 · afmom03

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Sunday was a good day and my sick thinking started to doubt my plans for leaving. ONE GOOD DAY – what’s the matter with me. I doubt my decisions until I am almost incapable of making one? Saturday he was just nasty all morning. In the afternoon I had to go shopping for a birthday...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

You get knocked down but don't have to stay down. I've gone through my lumps with my A the last few days. Its amazing the more my eyes are being opened to reality the more I see how dysfunctional and sick he is. This disease really destroys people. Some of this that I'm seeing...

debilyn · debilyn

I think about how I wanted my A's mom to stop enabling him so he had a place to stay. Now she has no home to give him. So he is out there, somewhere. I was thinking how he said he had to get himself together. Had things he had to do. Well I guess what better than to be out there with nothing, having to scrape an...

pearlygirrl · pearlygirrl

Hi all, I'm new here... I've been going to alanon meetings for 4 months. working the program best I can. I'm contemplating though... thinking about my husband's recovery, and moy own. He's about 2 months sober, fresh out of round 2 of rehab. the first round was volunta...

maresie2 · maresie2

I work at night, a long hard physical job (which I am not used to) and sleep during the day. The A is self employed so sometimes he is at home when I wake up. Lately in the last few weeks I have been waking up to a strange smell in the house. I think personally it is the bitter s...

Gailey · Gailey

I just love your tool box. I think I need a trip to the hardware store you shop at.

Diva · Diva

for your kind and loving responses to my two posts. I feel so very loved and appreciated here, and that's worth a fortune!! Day three, and I believe he is still drunk. I had to leave the house at 6:30 a.m. today, as I was summoned for jury duty, and I live quite a way from the County Courthouse. Didn't ge...

marmare · marmare

I am starting a list in my head. I will transfer it to paper soon. A list of things I want to do....some on a regular basis. Ya know, like go to the movies, out to dinner, drives to the ocean, things I use to do with my A. Things we use to enjoy together. However now my list doe...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, for those of you who don't know me, my story is probably pretty much the same as yours, or we wouldn't both be here, right? I, too, needed the St. Anthony Prayer Kari spoke of, "St. Antohony, St. Anthony, please come round, there's something lost that must be found." Me. I was missing...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

Thanks everyone for your wonderful posts they do help a lot. I am having trouble understanding why we put up with an A's abuse and problems and over again. Is there something in our personalities that love and crave this abuse? What sane person would continue to let this hap...

maresie2 · maresie2

I've been going through a really hard hard time with the A. He is out there on drugs a lot. He is also out there in his thinking and his grandiose plans. I have been trying to focus on me and my issues and what I need to do. And I do pretty good at it somedays. I found a job, not a grea...

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

Hi (((((((everyone))))))))) As you all have noticed I haven't been on here or in chatt for awhile... A week ago I was feeling overwhelmed with reading all the drama on the other message board, chatting and I began finding myself getting involed,angry,taking on others feelings,and etc.... I al...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) I need some ESH, advice or opinions here ... I know that is asking alot LOL. My house has not had any offers, without my A's income for the last 4 months I have not made the last 3 mortgage payments. Without some program from the mortgage company that I can afford while maintaini...

FormalWare · FormalWare

...I stopped "lurking", and ventured to contribute something. I'm one of those men who has an automatic "stop valve" in his chest/throat... when I think I'm about to let the emotions out--it clamps down, and I retain my composure (and my isolation... and my stress... and my illusion of control...) ...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I had a drama filled weekend. I don't have time to post on that right now, but I had something I wanted to share. I was thinking of Isabella the whole time this was happening. Last night my hubby and I were talking while we were getting ready for bed. I was in the middle of a sentence when I looke...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

I don't know really know the rules of alanon and asking for advice but I would really like some honest opinions for this problem. My A and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love his family. I am part of the family and I get along with his mother better than my own. I have gone on vac...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

A came back to the house we were suppose to be talking but I was so emotional out of it because of a death in the family I was not up to talking to him about "our" situation. Of course we end up having sex which never solves anything and today it seems to be back to the same old stuff, him drinking and sayi...

SnowWhite · SnowWhite

Hi, I am new here. Very happy to have found these boards. I am going to my first book meeting this week and have no idea which book they use. What can I expect? Can anyone help me out? Thanks so much.

kitty · kitty

Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too: 1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!). 2. I might need...

Madison81 · Madison81

Okay, I guess I'm looking for a sponsor, but I'm not 100% on that. I would like someone that I can share my story with, and learn from theirs. I would like someone who I can chat with and talk about the new things that have come up, problems and such, and how they relate to al-anon. I would like someone to go th...

afmom03 · afmom03

I was the one who had a drinking problem, the way it turned up on the messages board!! I do promise ya'll tho...I was not under the influence of ANYTHING!! I wonder why it came out like that? <LOL> Hope you were able to follow it and write it down!! <LOL> I need to learn how to do these dang compu...

Christy · Christy

I had a request to post about my trip to Alaska so here it is. Getting there and back is a pain in the butt, takes 12 hours from doorstep to doorstep. I was exhausted. Adjusting to the 3 hour time difference was a bit rough too. That's the only bad parts. My hubby was a wonderful tour guide and ha...

shamama · shamama

alcoholic is my kids' dad. he skipped his weekend visitation twice because he was too drunk . i was always so worried he'd be hungover when he picked up the kids. i cancelled his weekend visits. i made it short so that i didn't add my own opinion in. -- Edited by shamama at 1...

hersh · hersh

Help guys, need some more advice: Well AH did admit he has been seeing someone. I confronted him about it and he said, that when I left in April (we were separated for two months) he was so lonely and afraid that he went out and happened to meet someone. He said that our relationsh...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Hi All Need to vent...husband use to be caring and loving ..I think..past is starting to get blurry Now that I am in alanon I don't want to rage and then make up...our usual pattern..so now there is silence...no attempt on his part to say he is sorry for coming in at 5:30am..just a casual question as t...

serendipity · serendipity

i know better. went to a water park yesterday for my daughter's birthday. ex ah came along to help. we drove seperatly to accomidate all the kids. i was grateful he could be sober and help. but 2 hours in a car with all that time to think was not good for me. but the day went well, everyone had fun. 2 hours to dr...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

It isn't all about me after all...last night my teenage daughter started yelling at me for "reading all the time" She still believes that if I yell at him her father will stop drinking...if I call him he will come home etc I finally told her to say what she needed to say to her father. I sat and li...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what is JADE? (Preview) Obviously still very much a newbie here What is JADE, have tried figuring it out and all I could come up with is Just Another Drunken Escapade. Shows where my life is I guess. Could someone please help? lilms	lilms	3	483	Aug 31, 2006 by Karilynn
	hello (Preview) Hello Everyone, My name is Barbara and I am from Tennessee. I am here because my b\f has a drinking problem. He knows he does and is doing something about it. It took some really bad things to happen to make him see his problem. To make a long story short he had a brush wiht the law at a bar where I was t...	marks girl	5	364	Aug 31, 2006 by marks girl
	Not quitting yet (Preview) ((((everyone))))) Thanks for your earlier responses. Maria I laughed when I read yours, I haven't been able to get in touch w/ my sponsor, What would she say? "Sure we've all wanted to quit, but we don't." And that would be it, we keep going. However slow, we just do it unti...	Lunamoth	2	409	Aug 31, 2006 by abbyal
	My Road to Recovery (Preview) I am really trying to stay on the right path to recovery. Being able to objectively reread an online journal over the weekend I had from back in Novemeber of 2004 has been a huge step in my recovery. I was able to recognize a pattern between my A and myself. The arguments, him telling m...	JulieLynn	3	414	Aug 30, 2006 by Andrea12
	shame (Preview) Ever since I can remember my father's Asim has made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. I totally understand why. I did not know it was a disease. Today I have compassion for him. He passed away in 1986. Why do I still feel ashamed of having an A son? I understand it is a disease, I have compassion for him b...	Gailey	3	400	Aug 30, 2006 by omajoy
	Proud Tiger On the Prowl! (Preview) Just wanted to tell you that I'm doing GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEat today! I sent LOTS of emails--including thank you notes to the people who got me out of my dad's house; my advisor; the volunteer co ordinator (for where I do volunteer work! ). And I made phone calls to my Drs to get appts mad...	Tiger2006	7	559	Aug 30, 2006 by buzzfree
	Finally some answers... (Preview) Shortly after I had my last child I noticed that things about me were changing. At the time I wrote them off as dealing w/ active disease. Things did not seem to resolve the more I worked the program in my life so I went to my doctor. Presented the laundry list of symptoms and was told it...	AlaMom	3	394	Aug 30, 2006 by Maria123
	tuesday (Preview) I know I am a broken record about this, but I also know the more we talk and get it out, the sooner we heal. Was in town getting feed, (what else, not like I am out getting nails done or a massage...)and when I am in the store, driving there, I feel alone. Just a bit back I was ok again with the aloneness and it w...	debilyn	4	406	Aug 30, 2006 by maresie2
	Ever feel like you're losing your marbles? (Preview) Well here is the cure ... Just smile and say... Dear Lord ... I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best!	Gailey	4	438	Aug 30, 2006 by nikkilou
	Taking steps to healthy living (Preview) (((Hello Group))) Thanks to all for the prayers I am feeling better today. I took some steps even in my pain and a little self-pity to some things for me. I've been exercising now everyday since Sunday. I had to really pray on this one because I was so mad at my A for expressing his un...	twinmom2	2	422	Aug 30, 2006 by lin0606
	Disesase or Mental Problem?? (Preview) Someone touched on the disease starting from somthing more deep seated... to quote: I don't think it is a "disease" but a chronic MENTAL problem that is very complex, deep seated, and difficult to treat. I spent years in denial that my husband had a "drinking problem"...I tr...	Georgia girl	4	553	Aug 30, 2006 by twinmom2
	mixed emotions (Preview) I met with my new lawyer today and started divorce proceedings. I have an appointment Friday to sign the paperwork. I am feeling a lot of different feelings today, mostly sad. Sad that I have to leave the man I love because he loves drinking and cocaine more than he loves being with me. Sad that I'll most l...	artygirl	4	365	Aug 30, 2006 by hersh
	prayers (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am asking humbly for prayers for a family that I do not even know. But I know the power of prayer and the power that Alanon prayer has. My Best friend and love was killed in head on collusion 8-17-06 in Boyle , Canada. There were three cars in this crash. The one passing was...	MaggiG	4	369	Aug 30, 2006 by hersh
	The Children of Alcoholics (Preview) Hi everybody. I havn't been on in a bit. Illness had a way of stealing away my energy levels and extra stress this year hasn't helped! Living with alcoholics my entire life does take its toll on us. Well... at least it has on me. So glad I am that I have suc...	Cilla	2	477	Aug 30, 2006 by Rebecca
	need a sponser (Preview) Im new to alanon. Im only six months in my local program. I need an online sponser. Is there an experienced sponser willing to help.	hunnydoll	2	415	Aug 30, 2006 by annmarie
	honestly (Preview) i guess my ex called ,drunk, sunday at 2:30am. i didn't hear the phone thankfully but he left a message. my 7 yr old checked the messages today and we heard him, so completly wasted. she didn't recognize his voice, she thought it was sylvester stalone.....i wish! lol! it was suprising to me. our relatio...	serendipity	3	347	Aug 30, 2006 by Christy
	CONFLICTS WITH KIDS? RELAX (Preview) Hi Friends, Here are some quotes and wisdom shared with me today. Take what you like and leave the rest. Every little bit helps. Love you all! Lani Conflicts with the kids? Relax! “Family life! The United Nations is child's play compared to the tugs and splits and need to understand and forgive in any...	Lani	0	300	Aug 30, 2006 by Lani
	What do you do? (Preview) I seem to travel in circles. I'm back to that place where I want someone else to do this for me. I am tired. I just don't want to do this anymore -- "this" meaning working my program, dealing w/ all the crap. The thing is I know without this program I'd have a WHOLE lot more crap to deal w...	Lunamoth	6	377	Aug 30, 2006 by annmarie
	Hello (Preview) My name is Rhonda. Im from Illinois. I have a son name Ryan and he is 18. Hes a great kid. My pride and joy. Im a cocktail waitress on a casino. I also date an Alcoholic. Being around addicts are bothering me. That is why Im here. Im aslo a graduate from my local college. I just finished my fourth certificatio...	hunnydoll	4	350	Aug 30, 2006 by lmt123
	It's all so very sad... (Preview) Today I am limp. The realization of what is to come has hit me like a ton of bricks. He will not talk about his problem; changes the subject at the mere mention of what comes next. Refuses to get help. Says he doesn't need help. Yeah, right! He has been asleep since 5 p.m. yesterday afternoon when he collaps...	Diva	18	684	Aug 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	August 06 at eden (Preview) . Visit You Ok as usual Bentlee peecat is on my head. How do I know you ask? I just felt a drip of slobber hit my cheek. At least it missed my glasses. Been calling Brown Gi-'sun-ka, pronounced Gishoeka. Means brown dog in Dakota Sioux, my gramas tribe. ...	debilyn	1	583	Aug 30, 2006 by david62
	The freedom of letting it all go.... (Preview) (((Hi family))) Just thought I would share my feelings today. When in times of trouble I usually reach out to help someone else – but my mind is in turmoil and my heart is breaking because of the possible infidelity that I just found out about last week so I haven’t been much help here to...	hersh	6	567	Aug 30, 2006 by annmarie
	MA AA (w/AlAnon) convention in Nov (Preview) anyone going?	Barbara	3	355	Aug 30, 2006 by Barbara
	Sharing out side issues (Preview) Hello every one , i have been in the chat room a couple of times and i am looking forward to getting to know you all better ODAT. I was Wondring how your group handles members who have been around a while, who know about sharing from the Alanon program who continue to share about out side issue...	Gemuk91	5	361	Aug 30, 2006 by Gemuk91
	My Father the Drunk (Preview) Hello my name is Leah, been here B4 but not for awhile. Have more than one A in my family but right now it is my Father who is my biggest worry/concern. His wife (not my Mother) died this year (she was an A also) and he went downhill even further than he already was. He drinks ALL the time,...	Leah	5	515	Aug 29, 2006 by nmike
	Money$$$$$$ (Preview) HI, This is a money issue I hope it o.k to write about. My A is not working. He is sober almost one and a half years. I never pushed him to get a job he always said hw working on staying sober. He goes to two meeting a day. But I'm all tapped out. I have on more savings....	nikkilou	5	462	Aug 29, 2006 by vateach7
	What's in your tool box? (Preview) ((((((((((Family))))))))), I am one of those women who loves a good tool box! Must come from all the theatre work and the years I spent with my Dad watching him in his workshop. I love the smell of sawdust. Take me to a lumber yard, and I'm yours for life! I have my fishi...	Karilynn	5	733	Aug 29, 2006 by purpleraven
	got "Courage To Change" (Preview) ... also got "Blueprint For Change" to help me with the 4th step (i like Q&A format journaling). i'm not the kind of person to literally read daily affirmations on the day they say, i just pick the book C2C at random and read, if it applies to my current feelings/situation then i journal about it. anyway,...	purpleraven	8	1076	Aug 29, 2006 by purpleraven
	New here... (Preview) Hello, Well, here goes nothing…(or should I say everything) My name is Amanda. I am 24 yrs old. I am married to a wonderful man for about 3.5 years now. We have the most adorable baby boy who is 7 months old. My father has been an alcoholic for all of my life....	manda0719	4	402	Aug 29, 2006 by abbyal
	what i'm sick of (Preview) I read a great post here today titled the list. I give this person so much credit because here's the only list in my head. The only phrase in my head is I'm so sick of....Here's what I am sick of: sick of the smell from my A, sick of the drunk mumbling, sick of the hurtful words, sick of the...	daisygrl4	8	571	Aug 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Something to cheer you up (Preview) 1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every nig...	daisy2	7	499	Aug 29, 2006 by Karilynn
	Things people say in Alanon that help me so much (Preview) only your A can choose his path in recovery. Twinmom~ Alanon can help you to think more about you. You learn we have no control over the A. We stop even bringing it up to them as it is not our concern. We think about how we feel, what we want. ...	Gailey	1	352	Aug 29, 2006 by rtexas
	Promises of Alcohol Are Written in Water... (Preview)	afmom03	3	565	Aug 29, 2006 by TLC2
	1 Good day does not = good future (Preview) Sunday was a good day and my sick thinking started to doubt my plans for leaving. ONE GOOD DAY – what’s the matter with me. I doubt my decisions until I am almost incapable of making one? Saturday he was just nasty all morning. In the afternoon I had to go shopping for a birthday...	Gramma Pat	5	616	Aug 29, 2006 by maresie2
	When life kicks you in the gut... (Preview) You get knocked down but don't have to stay down. I've gone through my lumps with my A the last few days. Its amazing the more my eyes are being opened to reality the more I see how dysfunctional and sick he is. This disease really destroys people. Some of this that I'm seeing...	twinmom2	6	583	Aug 29, 2006 by debilyn
	Keep reminding myself/ venting (Preview) I think about how I wanted my A's mom to stop enabling him so he had a place to stay. Now she has no home to give him. So he is out there, somewhere. I was thinking how he said he had to get himself together. Had things he had to do. Well I guess what better than to be out there with nothing, having to scrape an...	debilyn	5	473	Aug 29, 2006 by TLC2
	contemplation (Preview) Hi all, I'm new here... I've been going to alanon meetings for 4 months. working the program best I can. I'm contemplating though... thinking about my husband's recovery, and moy own. He's about 2 months sober, fresh out of round 2 of rehab. the first round was volunta...	pearlygirrl	4	412	Aug 29, 2006 by DoN4me
	asking them not to use (Preview) I work at night, a long hard physical job (which I am not used to) and sleep during the day. The A is self employed so sometimes he is at home when I wake up. Lately in the last few weeks I have been waking up to a strange smell in the house. I think personally it is the bitter s...	maresie2	6	434	Aug 29, 2006 by maresie2
	Christy's tool box (Preview) I just love your tool box. I think I need a trip to the hardware store you shop at.	Gailey	1	556	Aug 29, 2006 by Christy
	Thanks all of you... (Preview) for your kind and loving responses to my two posts. I feel so very loved and appreciated here, and that's worth a fortune!! Day three, and I believe he is still drunk. I had to leave the house at 6:30 a.m. today, as I was summoned for jury duty, and I live quite a way from the County Courthouse. Didn't ge...	Diva	13	634	Aug 29, 2006 by isabela40
	The List (Preview) I am starting a list in my head. I will transfer it to paper soon. A list of things I want to do....some on a regular basis. Ya know, like go to the movies, out to dinner, drives to the ocean, things I use to do with my A. Things we use to enjoy together. However now my list doe...	marmare	7	514	Aug 29, 2006 by kitty
	It's Working! (Preview) OK, for those of you who don't know me, my story is probably pretty much the same as yours, or we wouldn't both be here, right? I, too, needed the St. Anthony Prayer Kari spoke of, "St. Antohony, St. Anthony, please come round, there's something lost that must be found." Me. I was missing...	Becky1	7	419	Aug 29, 2006 by Zyperiris
	Hard Time (Preview) Thanks everyone for your wonderful posts they do help a lot. I am having trouble understanding why we put up with an A's abuse and problems and over again. Is there something in our personalities that love and crave this abuse? What sane person would continue to let this hap...	LadyLibra	6	517	Aug 29, 2006 by lildee
	being a victim (Preview) I've been going through a really hard hard time with the A. He is out there on drugs a lot. He is also out there in his thinking and his grandiose plans. I have been trying to focus on me and my issues and what I need to do. And I do pretty good at it somedays. I found a job, not a grea...	maresie2	3	464	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Recovery or Drama Recovery or Death (Preview) Hi (((((((everyone))))))))) As you all have noticed I haven't been on here or in chatt for awhile... A week ago I was feeling overwhelmed with reading all the drama on the other message board, chatting and I began finding myself getting involed,angry,taking on others feelings,and etc.... I al...	bubbles1990	5	686	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I need ESH and advice on financial + matters (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) I need some ESH, advice or opinions here ... I know that is asking alot LOL. My house has not had any offers, without my A's income for the last 4 months I have not made the last 3 mortgage payments. Without some program from the mortgage company that I can afford while maintaini...	Jennifer	9	642	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	It's about time... (Preview) ...I stopped "lurking", and ventured to contribute something. I'm one of those men who has an automatic "stop valve" in his chest/throat... when I think I'm about to let the emotions out--it clamps down, and I retain my composure (and my isolation... and my stress... and my illusion of control...) ...	FormalWare	4	434	Aug 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Funny bug story. (Preview) Hi all, I had a drama filled weekend. I don't have time to post on that right now, but I had something I wanted to share. I was thinking of Isabella the whole time this was happening. Last night my hubby and I were talking while we were getting ready for bed. I was in the middle of a sentence when I looke...	Dolphin123	1	571	Aug 28, 2006 by isabela40
	the family should be helping..right? (Preview) I don't know really know the rules of alanon and asking for advice but I would really like some honest opinions for this problem. My A and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love his family. I am part of the family and I get along with his mother better than my own. I have gone on vac...	daisygrl4	9	574	Aug 28, 2006 by Gailey
	Nothing Changes (Preview) A came back to the house we were suppose to be talking but I was so emotional out of it because of a death in the family I was not up to talking to him about "our" situation. Of course we end up having sex which never solves anything and today it seems to be back to the same old stuff, him drinking and sayi...	LadyLibra	3	410	Aug 28, 2006 by hersh
	New here & need help with books. (Preview) Hi, I am new here. Very happy to have found these boards. I am going to my first book meeting this week and have no idea which book they use. What can I expect? Can anyone help me out? Thanks so much.	SnowWhite	5	655	Aug 28, 2006 by lildee
	I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When... (Preview) Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too: 1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!). 2. I might need...	kitty	6	491	Aug 28, 2006 by rtexas
	Looking for someone to help... (Preview) Okay, I guess I'm looking for a sponsor, but I'm not 100% on that. I would like someone that I can share my story with, and learn from theirs. I would like someone who I can chat with and talk about the new things that have come up, problems and such, and how they relate to al-anon. I would like someone to go th...	Madison81	5	492	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	My last post looked like...LOL (Preview) I was the one who had a drinking problem, the way it turned up on the messages board!! I do promise ya'll tho...I was not under the influence of ANYTHING!! I wonder why it came out like that? <LOL> Hope you were able to follow it and write it down!! <LOL> I need to learn how to do these dang compu...	afmom03	1	367	Aug 28, 2006 by lilms
	Obviously I'm back from Alaska :) (Preview) I had a request to post about my trip to Alaska so here it is. Getting there and back is a pain in the butt, takes 12 hours from doorstep to doorstep. I was exhausted. Adjusting to the 3 hour time difference was a bit rough too. That's the only bad parts. My hubby was a wonderful tour guide and ha...	Christy	12	2323	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	is this enabling? (Preview) alcoholic is my kids' dad. he skipped his weekend visitation twice because he was too drunk . i was always so worried he'd be hungover when he picked up the kids. i cancelled his weekend visits. i made it short so that i didn't add my own opinion in. -- Edited by shamama at 1...	shamama	4	393	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	Infidelity advice... please (Preview) Help guys, need some more advice: Well AH did admit he has been seeing someone. I confronted him about it and he said, that when I left in April (we were separated for two months) he was so lonely and afraid that he went out and happened to meet someone. He said that our relationsh...	hersh	5	551	Aug 28, 2006 by annmarie
	silence is killing my marriage (Preview) Hi All Need to vent...husband use to be caring and loving ..I think..past is starting to get blurry Now that I am in alanon I don't want to rage and then make up...our usual pattern..so now there is silence...no attempt on his part to say he is sorry for coming in at 5:30am..just a casual question as t...	Elizabeth M	10	535	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
	what was i thinking? (Preview) i know better. went to a water park yesterday for my daughter's birthday. ex ah came along to help. we drove seperatly to accomidate all the kids. i was grateful he could be sober and help. but 2 hours in a car with all that time to think was not good for me. but the day went well, everyone had fun. 2 hours to dr...	serendipity	4	609	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
	silence is killing my daughter (Preview) It isn't all about me after all...last night my teenage daughter started yelling at me for "reading all the time" She still believes that if I yell at him her father will stop drinking...if I call him he will come home etc I finally told her to say what she needed to say to her father. I sat and li...	Elizabeth M	2	433	Aug 28, 2006 by Zyperiris
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.