Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kabbie · kabbie

I'm new to the message board, and fairly new to Alanon. My 22 year old daughter has been struggling with alcohol and cocaine use for the past few years. She is now into her 3rd week of voluntary inpatient rehab, following a black out, horrific car accident, and 2nd DUI. (No one was injured,...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am seriously thinking about doing a double take on my thanksgiving plans. The As brother is around and will have no place else to go. He and his brother normally smoke tons of marjuana and get stoned any holiday. They are cooked for by their mother. I don't much want to fil...

Christy · Christy

retexas, Just wanted to check and see how you are doing today. Wishing you strength, Christy

evey · evey

AH had one four years ago, new job offer requires background check. Anybody in the know want to share?? Thanks. evey

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Needing to share a little this Sunday Morning.....yesterday, Chuck called about 8:30 am and asked me to come and follow him to take his truck to his dads and take him to detox. I thought about it for awhile and said, ok....so went.....it was a very hard thing to do but I was thinking, i...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) For those who don't know, my AW and I have had a real rough time of it. Relationship really suffering and it came to a head for me on the 9th. I told her I really can't live this way any more and if she doesn't commit to a program to try and get sober that we needed to make arr...

kidsmom · kidsmom

Hello everyone. Recently I started back to the local meetings in this area. However I am still plagued by the decision I have made to divorce my A/addict. ( just moved here to finish degree, commute was too expensive). Background - We went throught the drinking 10 years ago, I...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm on the phone with my A last night and talking about him getting a place to stay, paying bills, etc. and he says I don't want to get a place...how long do I have to be good before I come home! This really pissed me off, I guess the idea of being a foregone conclusion (of course I'm going to ta...

Becky1 · Becky1

Last night my husband was actually home & waiting on me when I got home from work. Met me at the door, even. Gave me a big hug and kiss. He had not been drinking, and had been off work about 3 hours. He is never home when I get home (always across the street at his friend's house, an A.)...

nmike · nmike

Hi, I am at the end of a short break from my busy life. I participated in an athletic event with my peers (read seniors). I had a great time being physical and competitive. I played hard and won some and lost some. It is great to see old friends and listen to their stories. It is amazing what tragedies that...

Christy · Christy

When days like today happen I always have to reflect at what Alanon has given me and how my reactions have changed. This day is one of those that is just soooo rediculous! Yesterday my son in law was going to put new rotors on my son's car. Normally they just slide off but not on my son's car! I had to go rent so...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is the anniversary of her birth

Happy Birthday MyLovely&Talented Senora

I hope your day is full of love and fun

YourMaria

nycbt · nycbt

If u would like to have some one help u with ur first three steps and u are willing to do some work on them let me know. I would like the person to work from the path book and i like the person to answer the questions at the end of each of the step. If u are willing to work throug im and pm in the room. I am looking for s...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, It has been a very crazy week for me...so many things are happening...I know we are not to focus on the A but, I feel I need to for a minute...the reality of my husband is that he is homeless...he is living in his truck...he is dirty...same clothes for days now...omg I just keep thinkin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))))))), Happy Sunday to you all! I was reading an article in the NY Times today and came across this quote from FDR: "When you get to the end of our rope, tie a knot and hang on." How did he know about Alanon? Now I know you all do yoga (

) so when I get to the end of my rope, I'll t...

Maria123 · Maria123

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretche...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I know the rule of thumb is no advise here.. but. If your A does anything close to hitting or shoving you, get yourself and your kids out of there. I have lived with my AW for 18 years. In the past couple of months she has clobered me twice in the face, and kicked the h...

greta · greta

From a post by Jerry F : I hated being controled at any and all times by events outside of myself so I adopted the slogan "Don't react" as one of my prime slogans. With it I can stop myself from rising to the occasion. I learned from my sponsor that when I get angry at any person, place o...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I'm trying my hardest to get all the gear ready for this weekend Boyscout camp out. I'm finding I'm loading my gun w/ resentments to shoot the A /w and realize I have the power to destroy this weekend. So I've come here to vent. A's are like magnets to each other, it never fails that my A will...

annmarie · annmarie

I did a terrible thing. I was very angry. I was in a rage (very worried about these arger surges lately). He was taunting me and I lost it. I had the tv remote control in my hand at the time and I threw it at him. It hit him on the shoulder and the batteries flew out and hit him in the face. He then carried on sh...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I need some guidance on how to help a fellow Al-Anon member. Her life seemed to be going great, her A was dry, they seemed like the perfect happy couple he working his program and she working hers. Then out of the blue on Wednesday night he just up and left her. She is devastated to say t...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I had a conversation the other night with someone. They said, do you know, if I would have done this instead of this, I would probably be doing this. I told them I don't do "what if's" the reason why is simple. I view it like this, if I wanted to change one thread in my life how many different asp...

plumeria · plumeria

Lately I have been feeling a tremendous sense of isolation. I work from home and live alone. I do get to meetings but not every day. Today my feelings were especially intense. I have considered getting an office job, but then I would have to give up the business I have worked so hard to build. I enjoy my wor...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

((((((((Family))))))))))))), I just had to come and finish the soul cleaning that started tonight. Today was soooooo long. I am training a new employee and add to that today is our client walk in day so they all came in today. Well when I got the kids to be I started cleaning, babysitter will be...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

OK, Gather around, join arms at the shoulders~~~and begin the leg kicking like the Rockettes, and SING: "He drives me CRAZY, and I CAN'T HELP MYSELF" (codependency showing today!) :roflmao:

Lexie · Lexie

((((((((((friends)))))))))))) My son's (Ryan) sentencing hearing is scheduled for Oct. 30. As many of you know, this has been postponed and rescheduled many times. I so want to get off the roller coaster and so does my son. So, those of you that have been so kind to pray a...

Piglette · Piglette

Hi, I've never been here before, and it feels weird. My friend sent me the link. My mom is an Alchoholic and today, a short while ago, she crushed my feelings again. I called to give her some "good" news and by the end of the brief conversation, she tearily announced that I am nothin...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Life has been looking great for quite some time now. I won my SSI case on Oct 4th I just have to wait for my 3 year lump sum no idea how long that will be. Not really thinking about it either. My health is doing good. I changed to cymbalta on my antidepressants & it improved a whole lot of stuf...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Got a heads up this last evening that one of the local MJ advocates just passed on. I hadn't heard from him for a while and in the past had some personal contact in public. My son told me that the man tried to "turn him on" to some very "great Cannabis" and my son could see thru it as a pass user.&n...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I decided earlier this week that I was going to try to take a trip to DC just me and the kids. I have a 5 day weekend for Veterans day and I decided this would be an excellent time to see DC in all it's glory. I have never been there and it's on my "list of things to do before leaving here". I ke...

DoN4me · DoN4me

Ok been A LONG TIME coming but it is time. I have been thinking alot about quitting smoking. I have smoked off and on since I was 15. For whatever reason I would pick them back up. Well as of today I have been 33 hours smoke free. All of the sudden I just didn't want them or feel like I needed them anymore...

maresie2 · maresie2

For the last couple of years finances have been a huge huge issue for me. I have had one job from hell after another. I had one boss who actually spit in my face because she was so angry she became hysterical and all her spittle went everywhere. I feel like I have to hell and back with the...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello all... My Alcoholic/coke-addicted husband called me this afternoon. He's not supposed to have any contact with me. There's a personal protection order filed against him. He left a voicemail asking if it was okay for him to go to the house and take some tools out of...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi Everyone))) I went to a wonderful "Mixed Nuts" meeting lastnight with AAs and Alanons. I had a pretty deep conversation afterward with some great guys who are willing to 12 step my AH when the time arises. He is talking about the devil being in him, crying all the time, bein...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A far away friend sent this to me today, thought I'd share: Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that wil...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, This is off topic, so please forgive me, A dear friend of my family was just diagnosed with lung cancer. She is young, vital, and dedicates so much of her free time to helping out in the High School, she is an amazing woman. Tonight her son who is very close to my kids came over in tears...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) What is controling behavior really? If I trick, beg, plead or demand someone do "something" I am trying to control them, right? There are a number of behaviors that bother me in my wifes version of this disease. It dawned on my during last nights "session...

iwishuheaven · iwishuheaven

I haven't been on the forum for a while but today I needed to come back. It is abad day today. I have been going to f2f meetings for Al-Anon and ACOA, they have been helpingme but my biggest problem now is being able to share with my wife. Back in March of 2006 when I realized that I was not normal thanks to my wi...

gardengal · gardengal

For years I begged and pleaded with the A to listen to me...."I knew what I was talking about." To get help for his drinking problem. I struggled for many years dealing with his progression in his disease, and became more insane. I thought I knew "how to get him to stop" trying everything within my power t...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Out of todays ODAT "... Surrender to the will of god is not a passport to inertia" How true is it that I want to be able to simply avoid situations and hope they get better on thier own. Is that faith? .... ummmm probably not. Does let go and let God, mean never giv...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Fair warning...not for the weak. Way personal post...but need the ESH! I am sure most women can identify to this. I have had ovarian cysts for nearly 15 years now. One here, another here, two here. I have seen the dr. many times in the past for it. T...

Phil · Phil

"Some of us have so many voices in our heads, we could hold group therapy by ourselves," said Rokelle Lerner, a popular speaker and trainer on relationships, women's issues, and addicted family systems. This internal chorus is often composed of voices from our family of origin, voices of critica...

DoN4me · DoN4me

He got out of jail after 17 days on a 50 day sentance and started calling and emailing. I talked to him, immediately my new boundries came into play as the the roller coaster started again. He again wanted me to do things for him at my own expense and I FINALLY said nope can't help you with that I sure h...

Phil · Phil

One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. Al-Anon, a Twelve Step mutual-help group for friends and fa...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A's mother has gone. She is off three states away. Needless to say after all her demands she isn't unpacking her truck anytime soon. After weeks of her demands she is finally off the horizon. Now the A's brother enters. He is drinking to total excess, totally smashed eve...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It is no longer good enough to cry peace, we must act peace, live peace, and live in peace. So, today in one of my meditation books, there was a novel idea presented to me. To summarize: Some people will never be happy because they **choose** not to be. Essentially, they believe that they are **unw...

Phil · Phil

The Al-Anon Promises “From Survival to Recovery” (page 269) -- Edited by tea2 at 22:55, 2006-10-19

babysteps · babysteps

Well, I am usually pretty good at detaching from my ah. He does his thing and I don't say anything about it. I presume that eventually he will see the light and make a change. I blew it this morning! Yesterday evening he was noticably intoxicated, went to bed early, was kind of irritating. I guess I have...

liliana · liliana

I have reached the point of full blown depression again. I cry constatly I have no intrest in any thing even the gym which has been my home away from home for 6 yrs. my husband drinks constanly he goes to the bar for lunch and stops at another bar before going home. i have such a fear of leaving yet i feel like i...

hudsond · hudsond

Sometimes I forget just how sick he is. My a husband has been completely sober for a little over 2 months--he has been sober from alcohol for 3 months. There are days his grouchiness really can get to me, or his mood swings and of course his selfishness, but then I think, yeah but he has come s...

hersh · hersh

((Everyone))) Why is it that I am becoming so aware that I have absolutely NO self-esteem and haven't for a long long time? I guess awareness is part of this program, but I am really finding out things about myself that I guess are helping me to grow but opening my eyes even wider with fear. ...

Mindy · Mindy

Ugh, what a frustrating weekend, I was surfing the net when my I.Explorer just died and spent 4 hours trying to fix it to find out...it's unfixable,lol. I wound up having to do a rescue boot form my cd which renders almost all of your progems unusable and once I got stuff reinstalled IT DID IT AGAIN!!! Tha...

Christy · Christy

My daughter just sent me this link of an up and coming singer. Not sure if I have ever heard a sadder song. Warning...it is about an abused child. This song will hopefully raise awareness. It's called Allysa Lies [url=http://www.myspace.com/jasonmichaelcarroll ]http://www.myspace.co...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) I got a difficult case handed down to me this week at work and without getting into details it is bringing up some strong feelings in me not just of my A but another relationship I had several years ago. This family I'm working with has a father who is an A, not in recovery just dr...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Good morning family. I got up early this morning and was dusting. I came across a box that hubby made for me in rehab 2 years ago as part of his art therapy. Now of course it has a pumpkin on it and it is filled with little pumpkins. But he also...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I had a reality check today that I can view one of two ways, I saw my husband today for the first time in a month....the reality of his life makes me sad....also it makes me happy to know where I am right now... This awful thing called addiction is the most heart wrenching thing I hav...

arty · arty

She was married to an A for many years...she left him coz of the drinking,only to leave him for another A,who she then left for another one... Meanwhile, all the children in the family grew up in a household where this was normal behaviour. I made the mistake of calling her to talk about the problem i...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Enjoy! http://home.att.net/~scorh5/Pedal.html

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) So I sit here at my desk wondering why I would think our seperation would be any different than any other ridiculous argument we have ever had. Why would my reasons for wanting to seperate or my ideas about what a destructive force the drinking has become all of a sudden mak...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

This is going to be a long post because I have so many feelings swirling around inside I might have trouble articulating them all. I seem to be dealing with most of the topics that have been listed for the next 2 weeks. Guilt, shame, self esteem and on and on. First of all I want to thank Tiger. She start...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Daughter in rehab, what next? (Preview) I'm new to the message board, and fairly new to Alanon. My 22 year old daughter has been struggling with alcohol and cocaine use for the past few years. She is now into her 3rd week of voluntary inpatient rehab, following a black out, horrific car accident, and 2nd DUI. (No one was injured,...	kabbie	6	559	Oct 23, 2006 by kabbie
	thanksgiving plans (Preview) I am seriously thinking about doing a double take on my thanksgiving plans. The As brother is around and will have no place else to go. He and his brother normally smoke tons of marjuana and get stoned any holiday. They are cooked for by their mother. I don't much want to fil...	maresie2	5	363	Oct 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	rtexas, please report in :) (Preview) retexas, Just wanted to check and see how you are doing today. Wishing you strength, Christy	Christy	9	501	Oct 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Does DWI show up in a background check? (Preview) AH had one four years ago, new job offer requires background check. Anybody in the know want to share?? Thanks. evey	evey	3	887	Oct 23, 2006 by isabela40
	Following Alanon with Compassion (Preview) Hello Friends, Needing to share a little this Sunday Morning.....yesterday, Chuck called about 8:30 am and asked me to come and follow him to take his truck to his dads and take him to detox. I thought about it for awhile and said, ok....so went.....it was a very hard thing to do but I was thinking, i...	Andrea12	7	1020	Oct 22, 2006 by maresie2
	Well... she's moving out right now (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) For those who don't know, my AW and I have had a real rough time of it. Relationship really suffering and it came to a head for me on the 9th. I told her I really can't live this way any more and if she doesn't commit to a program to try and get sober that we needed to make arr...	rtexas	14	648	Oct 22, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Now he recovers!!! (Preview) Hello everyone. Recently I started back to the local meetings in this area. However I am still plagued by the decision I have made to divorce my A/addict. ( just moved here to finish degree, commute was too expensive). Background - We went throught the drinking 10 years ago, I...	kidsmom	6	505	Oct 22, 2006 by Tiger2006
	"How long do I have to be good" (Preview) So I'm on the phone with my A last night and talking about him getting a place to stay, paying bills, etc. and he says I don't want to get a place...how long do I have to be good before I come home! This really pissed me off, I guess the idea of being a foregone conclusion (of course I'm going to ta...	carolinagirl	3	1014	Oct 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	Here We Go Again (Preview) Last night my husband was actually home & waiting on me when I got home from work. Met me at the door, even. Gave me a big hug and kiss. He had not been drinking, and had been off work about 3 hours. He is never home when I get home (always across the street at his friend's house, an A.)...	Becky1	8	546	Oct 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	taking care of myself (Preview) Hi, I am at the end of a short break from my busy life. I participated in an athletic event with my peers (read seniors). I had a great time being physical and competitive. I played hard and won some and lost some. It is great to see old friends and listen to their stories. It is amazing what tragedies that...	nmike	3	471	Oct 22, 2006 by drucilla06
	What Alanon has given me today.. (Preview) When days like today happen I always have to reflect at what Alanon has given me and how my reactions have changed. This day is one of those that is just soooo rediculous! Yesterday my son in law was going to put new rotors on my son's car. Normally they just slide off but not on my son's car! I had to go rent so...	Christy	9	598	Oct 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	If you happen to see Our Senorabob . . . (Preview) Today is the anniversary of her birth Happy Birthday MyLovely&Talented Senora I hope your day is full of love and fun YourMaria	Maria123	10	578	Oct 22, 2006 by tea2
	a temp sponsor (Preview) If u would like to have some one help u with ur first three steps and u are willing to do some work on them let me know. I would like the person to work from the path book and i like the person to answer the questions at the end of each of the step. If u are willing to work throug im and pm in the room. I am looking for s...	nycbt	1	413	Oct 22, 2006 by ally
	How Sad (Preview) Hello Friends, It has been a very crazy week for me...so many things are happening...I know we are not to focus on the A but, I feel I need to for a minute...the reality of my husband is that he is homeless...he is living in his truck...he is dirty...same clothes for days now...omg I just keep thinkin...	Andrea12	7	409	Oct 22, 2006 by mel123
	Thought for the Day. (Preview) ((((((Family)))))))), Happy Sunday to you all! I was reading an article in the NY Times today and came across this quote from FDR: "When you get to the end of our rope, tie a knot and hang on." How did he know about Alanon? Now I know you all do yoga () so when I get to the end of my rope, I'll t...	Karilynn	3	476	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud (Preview) I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretche...	Maria123	5	2190	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	Physical Abuse (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I know the rule of thumb is no advise here.. but. If your A does anything close to hitting or shoving you, get yourself and your kids out of there. I have lived with my AW for 18 years. In the past couple of months she has clobered me twice in the face, and kicked the h...	rtexas	12	1145	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	Prime Time Slogans (Preview) From a post by Jerry F : I hated being controled at any and all times by events outside of myself so I adopted the slogan "Don't react" as one of my prime slogans. With it I can stop myself from rising to the occasion. I learned from my sponsor that when I get angry at any person, place o...	greta	7	693	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	Projection City hmmmm (Preview) I'm trying my hardest to get all the gear ready for this weekend Boyscout camp out. I'm finding I'm loading my gun w/ resentments to shoot the A /w and realize I have the power to destroy this weekend. So I've come here to vent. A's are like magnets to each other, it never fails that my A will...	Lunamoth	5	422	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	desperate and so sorry (Preview) I did a terrible thing. I was very angry. I was in a rage (very worried about these arger surges lately). He was taunting me and I lost it. I had the tv remote control in my hand at the time and I threw it at him. It hit him on the shoulder and the batteries flew out and hit him in the face. He then carried on sh...	annmarie	13	577	Oct 21, 2006 by annmarie
	ESH needed please (Preview) I need some guidance on how to help a fellow Al-Anon member. Her life seemed to be going great, her A was dry, they seemed like the perfect happy couple he working his program and she working hers. Then out of the blue on Wednesday night he just up and left her. She is devastated to say t...	Mobirdie	6	419	Oct 21, 2006 by curious
	drive home (Preview) I had a conversation the other night with someone. They said, do you know, if I would have done this instead of this, I would probably be doing this. I told them I don't do "what if's" the reason why is simple. I view it like this, if I wanted to change one thread in my life how many different asp...	DoN4me	2	362	Oct 21, 2006 by athena12
	Isolation (Preview) Lately I have been feeling a tremendous sense of isolation. I work from home and live alone. I do get to meetings but not every day. Today my feelings were especially intense. I have considered getting an office job, but then I would have to give up the business I have worked so hard to build. I enjoy my wor...	plumeria	7	508	Oct 21, 2006 by plumeria
	Good day for a good cry! (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))))), I just had to come and finish the soul cleaning that started tonight. Today was soooooo long. I am training a new employee and add to that today is our client walk in day so they all came in today. Well when I got the kids to be I started cleaning, babysitter will be...	Dolphin123	10	546	Oct 20, 2006 by tishrijo
	Pardon My Humor (Sing Along and Dance) (Preview) OK, Gather around, join arms at the shoulders~~~and begin the leg kicking like the Rockettes, and SING: "He drives me CRAZY, and I CAN'T HELP MYSELF" (codependency showing today!) :roflmao:	wallsal55	3	482	Oct 20, 2006 by DoN4me
	son's court date is scheduled yet again (Preview) ((((((((((friends)))))))))))) My son's (Ryan) sentencing hearing is scheduled for Oct. 30. As many of you know, this has been postponed and rescheduled many times. I so want to get off the roller coaster and so does my son. So, those of you that have been so kind to pray a...	Lexie	5	577	Oct 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	HURT BY MY MOM (Preview) Hi, I've never been here before, and it feels weird. My friend sent me the link. My mom is an Alchoholic and today, a short while ago, she crushed my feelings again. I called to give her some "good" news and by the end of the brief conversation, she tearily announced that I am nothin...	Piglette	5	386	Oct 20, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Thankful to be alive (Preview) Life has been looking great for quite some time now. I won my SSI case on Oct 4th I just have to wait for my 3 year lump sum no idea how long that will be. Not really thinking about it either. My health is doing good. I changed to cymbalta on my antidepressants & it improved a whole lot of stuf...	hmrnrnmm	2	510	Oct 20, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	So he's dead... (Preview) Got a heads up this last evening that one of the local MJ advocates just passed on. I hadn't heard from him for a while and in the past had some personal contact in public. My son told me that the man tried to "turn him on" to some very "great Cannabis" and my son could see thru it as a pass user.&n...	Jerry F	1	567	Oct 20, 2006 by maresie2
	Takin a trip (Preview) I decided earlier this week that I was going to try to take a trip to DC just me and the kids. I have a 5 day weekend for Veterans day and I decided this would be an excellent time to see DC in all it's glory. I have never been there and it's on my "list of things to do before leaving here". I ke...	carolinagirl	4	369	Oct 20, 2006 by maresie2
	Smokeless - doing the happy dance (Preview) Ok been A LONG TIME coming but it is time. I have been thinking alot about quitting smoking. I have smoked off and on since I was 15. For whatever reason I would pick them back up. Well as of today I have been 33 hours smoke free. All of the sudden I just didn't want them or feel like I needed them anymore...	DoN4me	4	406	Oct 20, 2006 by DoN4me
	being willing (Preview) For the last couple of years finances have been a huge huge issue for me. I have had one job from hell after another. I had one boss who actually spit in my face because she was so angry she became hysterical and all her spittle went everywhere. I feel like I have to hell and back with the...	maresie2	4	367	Oct 20, 2006 by hersh
	sick, pathetic, and all stirred up (Preview) Hello all... My Alcoholic/coke-addicted husband called me this afternoon. He's not supposed to have any contact with me. There's a personal protection order filed against him. He left a voicemail asking if it was okay for him to go to the house and take some tools out of...	artygirl	7	677	Oct 20, 2006 by Rita G
	Getting better at detaching? (Preview) (((Hi Everyone))) I went to a wonderful "Mixed Nuts" meeting lastnight with AAs and Alanons. I had a pretty deep conversation afterward with some great guys who are willing to 12 step my AH when the time arises. He is talking about the devil being in him, crying all the time, bein...	hersh	2	461	Oct 20, 2006 by Rita G
	Dealing with the burdens of life. (Preview) A far away friend sent this to me today, thought I'd share: Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that wil...	carolinagirl	5	461	Oct 20, 2006 by hersh
	Prayers please (Preview) Hi everyone, This is off topic, so please forgive me, A dear friend of my family was just diagnosed with lung cancer. She is young, vital, and dedicates so much of her free time to helping out in the High School, she is an amazing woman. Tonight her son who is very close to my kids came over in tears...	Jeannie	7	606	Oct 20, 2006 by rtexas
	Controling behaviors (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) What is controling behavior really? If I trick, beg, plead or demand someone do "something" I am trying to control them, right? There are a number of behaviors that bother me in my wifes version of this disease. It dawned on my during last nights "session...	rtexas	8	567	Oct 20, 2006 by Noni
	unable to open up... (Preview) I haven't been on the forum for a while but today I needed to come back. It is abad day today. I have been going to f2f meetings for Al-Anon and ACOA, they have been helpingme but my biggest problem now is being able to share with my wife. Back in March of 2006 when I realized that I was not normal thanks to my wi...	iwishuheaven	6	588	Oct 20, 2006 by Noni
	ARE YOU WILLING TO ADMIT YOU DONT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS? (Preview) For years I begged and pleaded with the A to listen to me...."I knew what I was talking about." To get help for his drinking problem. I struggled for many years dealing with his progression in his disease, and became more insane. I thought I knew "how to get him to stop" trying everything within my power t...	gardengal	7	521	Oct 20, 2006 by Noni
	Good morning... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Out of todays ODAT "... Surrender to the will of god is not a passport to inertia" How true is it that I want to be able to simply avoid situations and hope they get better on thier own. Is that faith? .... ummmm probably not. Does let go and let God, mean never giv...	rtexas	2	355	Oct 20, 2006 by just me
	Ladies some ESH please (Preview) Fair warning...not for the weak. Way personal post...but need the ESH! I am sure most women can identify to this. I have had ovarian cysts for nearly 15 years now. One here, another here, two here. I have seen the dr. many times in the past for it. T...	ZiggyDoodles	11	575	Oct 20, 2006 by Noni
	Self-care is about setting boundaries, letting go (Preview) "Some of us have so many voices in our heads, we could hold group therapy by ourselves," said Rokelle Lerner, a popular speaker and trainer on relationships, women's issues, and addicted family systems. This internal chorus is often composed of voices from our family of origin, voices of critica...	Phil	1	534	Oct 20, 2006 by irish54
	A got out of jail (Preview) He got out of jail after 17 days on a 50 day sentance and started calling and emailing. I talked to him, immediately my new boundries came into play as the the roller coaster started again. He again wanted me to do things for him at my own expense and I FINALLY said nope can't help you with that I sure h...	DoN4me	8	612	Oct 20, 2006 by DoN4me
	Detatchment With Love Takes On Deeper Meaning (Preview) One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. Al-Anon, a Twelve Step mutual-help group for friends and fa...	Phil	3	572	Oct 20, 2006 by kingston
	The A's Brother crashes (Preview) The A's mother has gone. She is off three states away. Needless to say after all her demands she isn't unpacking her truck anytime soon. After weeks of her demands she is finally off the horizon. Now the A's brother enters. He is drinking to total excess, totally smashed eve...	maresie2	2	454	Oct 20, 2006 by Karilynn
	Thoughts on my morning meditation (Preview) It is no longer good enough to cry peace, we must act peace, live peace, and live in peace. So, today in one of my meditation books, there was a novel idea presented to me. To summarize: Some people will never be happy because they choose not to be. Essentially, they believe that they are **unw...	Tiger2006	5	473	Oct 19, 2006 by artygirl
	Yupper!! (Preview) The Al-Anon Promises “From Survival to Recovery” (page 269) -- Edited by tea2 at 22:55, 2006-10-19	Phil	2	514	Oct 19, 2006 by tea2
	I slipped (Preview) Well, I am usually pretty good at detaching from my ah. He does his thing and I don't say anything about it. I presume that eventually he will see the light and make a change. I blew it this morning! Yesterday evening he was noticably intoxicated, went to bed early, was kind of irritating. I guess I have...	babysteps	6	400	Oct 19, 2006 by maresie2
	i feel lost and alone (Preview) I have reached the point of full blown depression again. I cry constatly I have no intrest in any thing even the gym which has been my home away from home for 6 yrs. my husband drinks constanly he goes to the bar for lunch and stops at another bar before going home. i have such a fear of leaving yet i feel like i...	liliana	6	459	Oct 19, 2006 by maresie2
	Sometimes-I forget (long) (Preview) Sometimes I forget just how sick he is. My a husband has been completely sober for a little over 2 months--he has been sober from alcohol for 3 months. There are days his grouchiness really can get to me, or his mood swings and of course his selfishness, but then I think, yeah but he has come s...	hudsond	4	438	Oct 19, 2006 by maresie2
	Signs of progress.... (Preview) ((Everyone))) Why is it that I am becoming so aware that I have absolutely NO self-esteem and haven't for a long long time? I guess awareness is part of this program, but I am really finding out things about myself that I guess are helping me to grow but opening my eyes even wider with fear. ...	hersh	4	456	Oct 19, 2006 by maresie2
	I am so Angry!!! (Preview) Ugh, what a frustrating weekend, I was surfing the net when my I.Explorer just died and spent 4 hours trying to fix it to find out...it's unfixable,lol. I wound up having to do a rescue boot form my cd which renders almost all of your progems unusable and once I got stuff reinstalled IT DID IT AGAIN!!! Tha...	Mindy	8	618	Oct 19, 2006 by maresie2
	Get your kleenex.. (off topic) (Preview) My daughter just sent me this link of an up and coming singer. Not sure if I have ever heard a sadder song. Warning...it is about an abused child. This song will hopefully raise awareness. It's called Allysa Lies [url=http://www.myspace.com/jasonmichaelcarroll ]http://www.myspace.co...	Christy	0	449	Oct 19, 2006 by Christy
	Some days... (Preview) (((Hello Group))) I got a difficult case handed down to me this week at work and without getting into details it is bringing up some strong feelings in me not just of my A but another relationship I had several years ago. This family I'm working with has a father who is an A, not in recovery just dr...	twinmom2	3	408	Oct 19, 2006 by Christy
	A pumpkin recovery box (Preview) (((((((((((((Family)))))))))), Good morning family. I got up early this morning and was dusting. I came across a box that hubby made for me in rehab 2 years ago as part of his art therapy. Now of course it has a pumpkin on it and it is filled with little pumpkins. But he also...	Karilynn	3	430	Oct 19, 2006 by Lexie
	Accepting the truth (Preview) Hello Friends, I had a reality check today that I can view one of two ways, I saw my husband today for the first time in a month....the reality of his life makes me sad....also it makes me happy to know where I am right now... This awful thing called addiction is the most heart wrenching thing I hav...	Andrea12	7	465	Oct 19, 2006 by hersh
	my future mother-in-law...the enabler (Preview) She was married to an A for many years...she left him coz of the drinking,only to leave him for another A,who she then left for another one... Meanwhile, all the children in the family grew up in a household where this was normal behaviour. I made the mistake of calling her to talk about the problem i...	arty	5	550	Oct 19, 2006 by Karilynn
	How do You Think of God/HP? (Preview) Enjoy! http://home.att.net/~scorh5/Pedal.html	wallsal55	3	477	Oct 19, 2006 by drucilla06
	All I need is this can.... and maybe this chair (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) So I sit here at my desk wondering why I would think our seperation would be any different than any other ridiculous argument we have ever had. Why would my reasons for wanting to seperate or my ideas about what a destructive force the drinking has become all of a sudden mak...	rtexas	11	653	Oct 18, 2006 by artygirl
	starting over (Preview) This is going to be a long post because I have so many feelings swirling around inside I might have trouble articulating them all. I seem to be dealing with most of the topics that have been listed for the next 2 weeks. Guilt, shame, self esteem and on and on. First of all I want to thank Tiger. She start...	bluegrassgal	4	392	Oct 18, 2006 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.