Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I hear that Pele may be getting angry with volanic eruptions and earthquakes south of you. Is everything going ok for you and yours in Hilo? Kenny

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for May 12 speaks about developing faith and trust in a power greater than ourselves. The reading points out that often we feel alone and that nothing exists that cares about us. It suggests that we reflect on some of the negative happenings of our lives so that we can see that even in ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Today is the 11th Anniversary of my son's passing from this disease. I intend to spend it remembering his smile, laugh and spirit and will not be posting or responding to posts. See you tomorrow Stephen Owen King (March 4, 1966 - May 6, 2007) - Online Memorial WebsiteStephen Owen King Memorial...

DavidG · DavidG

Toroa nui, toroa roa, toroa iti i te hauiti... The albatross sours high, but in small wind, it is small. In Ao-NZ each tribe or clan has its own sayings, and songs, so I coined this one myself. On our own we are nothing sometimes. At best we are lonely and at worst we are scared and terrified. I was always s...

Dorothylynn · Dorothylynn

I am not on here often, but I so appreciate the advice and encouragement I always receive when I do remember to get on. The past few days Iâve really been struggling with replaying bad memories of my husband when he was drinking. He has been sober since December, but I still have so much anxiety, and it is...

andromeda · andromeda

I came to program 7 years ago with a heavy heart. My alcoholic father had died the month prior and my alcoholic spouse was spiraling deeper into his addiction and, after finding him passed out drunk and naked on the toilet at 5 AM, I knew I needed help! My father was an alcoholic and I was married to my XAH...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about the most important relationship each of us will ever have - the one with self! We spend more time with self than anyone else so wouldn't it make sense to put energy into making that relationship awesome? Another person can't prevent us from feeling lone...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Aaannnddd .. the XAH is off and running again with no communication and I'm trying to balance that in the midst of being very PMS. So I'm trying to breathe .. and remember this is all going to workout again and right here and now is why my XAH is an a$$ with a capital "A". What I have learned in this process i...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi everyone, I have an important decision to make this weekend and I don't know what to do. My alcoholic partner is passed out at the moment and I don't feel like he's in a place where I can discuss it with him. I don't know who I can talk to. Trying to seek guidance from my Higher Power, but how will I know or...

Iamhere · Iamhere

In today's reading, the writer talks about gratitude for our fellowship where everyone speaks for himself or herself. There is no authority who tells what 'our' experience has been, and each of us speaks for him/her self. The sharing of experience, strength and hope helps us learn specific ways in...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I swear my life is the Truman Show .. I live in an alternate universe and there is a camera crew following me around .. LOL. They are looking for my Lucy reactions to things that happen .. and boy are they there. Jerry Springer should call me for a storyline, I'm totally trying to stay in my own hula hoop an...

Zara0308 · Zara0308

Good morning everyone! I just have a question I was hoping to get feedback on. When can someone become a sponsor? Do you need to have finished all your steps before accepting to be someone's else's sponsor?

Overcome · Overcome

May 10, 2018THURSDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM TOPICS: Topic: Self-Indulgence vs. Thinking of Others and Open topic.Meeting lasts approximately an hour and a half. Chat afterwards.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are ot...

Dutchy · Dutchy

We've just come to the end of a 4 day bank holiday weekend and it's been a good one and I will take that for what it is. After last weekend, with my recovering husband in a very bad way whilst I visited him with our girls and his mum phoning on Monday saying her was in bed and not at work I spoke to him on the phone...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about learning to like ourselves. The author shares that their feelings of self-worth had sunk while living with an active alcoholic to the point that they did not see their own positive traits, and could not accept the compliments of others. The author's spo...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- In addition to working on the steps and our own re overt, having a loved one with an alcoholic issue is never easy. In my own recovery and self-care, Ive been working on daily affirmations. At first they seemed cheesy, but for me they really work. In my own recovery, part of it is the loss of se...

MaryGondwe · MaryGondwe

I wrote this poem 4 years ago as a way of coping with my husband's addiction to alcohol. It helped to think of alcohol as a mistress; seductive, yet still a choice. Just reading it has helped me feel better so many times. So I want to share it with others now that it isn't so raw. Hopefully it helps someone el...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Greetings MIP family..... I am reminded daily that I am a work-in-progress, and life, although much better than before, continues to offer up its challenges. I am a long time member of MIP, who had a bit of a falling out with John a few years back, so I chose to stop participating/posting on here anymo...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the 'freedom" that we receive by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that when we first enter the program we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair--. However, when we start working the program, we soon discover that we have been released from...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us have spent time regretting things we have done or said, held on to anger, and wished for a different past or reality. The writer mentions that reading Alanon literature with consistency began to change his/her perspective and living in t...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey guys. I miss you and this board. I have been thinking about MIP quite a bit as I took over family programming at the new treatment center I am working at. Working with the families has been hard work but an honor. If I did not know alanon, I would be at a severe disadvantage and I owe almost all my knowl...

blueskies18 · blueskies18

I'm so sad. I know I am not managing well with my AH. First post, maybe this is not the right place I don't know. I hurt his feelings. I can't bear it. I feel like I did the wrong thing now. It's a roller coaster

Lyne · Lyne

Alcoholism is a disease: The writer spoke of the need to accept alcoholism as a real disease, just like tuberculosis or diabetes. With that acceptance , she could stop trying to cure her loved one. She also decided to stop blaming the alcoholic, for it was beyond his/her control. The best thing sh...

mamalioness · mamalioness

its been a while I don't even know where to start except I have been on a "house deep fixing up" cleaning, and I mean DEEP cleaning, painting, upgrading lil things here and there and even some larger things...The place looks so much cleaner, happier and updated, LOL...yea, I know how to scrub down stuf...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... when I first arrived here my hometown group had collapsed. It was a shocker for me. I discussed the reasons then- and do not need to do this now. The nearest group is only 30 mins away... and I have been a few times. Last time I went a newer member had called for a group conscience- and wa...

serenity47 · serenity47

I can finally start to see some progress in myself. It has taken a long while to get to this stage of detaching and accepting. For a long long while I tried to control the outcome for my AD. I set boundaries but they were not really boundaries they were manipulations to get her to conform and change. I...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, Looking for some ESH. I sold my house this week (hooray!) - bittersweet obviously, I love my home but I know it will set me free to move to my own place and leave this behind. My STBXAH pulled some last minute extortion on offer night, trying to threaten me into giving him a bunch of money now b...

Dutchy · Dutchy

This evening we had our 4th couples counselling and the first thing my husband said was that he relapsed on Monday. I'm not angry about that. I was just relieved I wasn't there. He hasn't told his mum, who he lives with, which I think he should but again that's up to him. What I am angry about is that the coun...

Overcome · Overcome

Saturday Morning Alanon Meeting 10 a.m. EST starting now. May 5 2018SATURDAY MORNING & EVENING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM & 9PM EST (7AM & 6PM PACIFIC)TOPICS: Verbal Abuse, Detaching from it. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When I first arrived at the front door of Al-Anon in 1979 I had no idea what I was getting into even when knowing I didn't want to get into anything. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know however so much was being brought to my attention and eventually my Higher Power removed my resistance to it. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP! Today's reading discusses humility. The writer learned in recovery that humility is not measured by how much I do for others, but by willingness to do our part in our relationship with the God of our understanding. We begin to learn what humility is when we take the First Step. By a...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP friends, I want to run by you the latest development in the ex-abf saga. I received an e-mail from him, sent from his grandfather's e-mail address, the contents similar to the previous messages - he's depressed, doesn't want to live anymore, nobody helps him, I'm bad as I do not reply to his plea...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

My AH is a mess and I'm not sure what to do. He s decided to try to detox at home. He drinks 1/2 gallon a day and thinks he can just quit(I told him I think he needs an inpatient program). He didn't go cold turkey and has been drinking. However, he looks like death. He's pale, sweating, shaking, keeps falling a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage reading is about finding ourselves through the Al-Anon program - especially Steps 4 and 5. Many of us arrive lost, neglected and just not too sure who we are. We'e been consumed with the A(s) and others in our life to the point we can share more about their likes/dislikes than our own. Th...

joker · joker

I have not been on this site for a bit, but I have been reading on line and attending meetings. I decided to go out and meet a new man and see if I can get back on track with my life. I met a man 2 months ago and he seemed like a really great guy. To good to be true. My head started spinning as what he said and did appea...

oceanpine · oceanpine

hi all, I have not posted here in a very long time, and am due for an update... soon! I do visit and read almost daily, and I thank you for all the wisdom, dedication and compassion displayed here on a daily/hourly basis! I have two friends who have both recently lost their husbands due to alcohol-related...

williamedward27 · williamedward27

there are many problems with friends and families and alcohol in my life, both parents, a sibling, friends, etc; thus i am a member of alanon. . i have had decades long problems with the dogma of this program. i am an agnostic, (an atheist, really, in the sense that i believe in no deities), and this isn't...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in courage to change is about accepting the help of HP and Al-Anon friends instead of stubbornly holding on to problems ourselves. The author shared that they sometimes are fixated on a problem, they cannot hear the guidance HP is sending their way. When they let go of their need to co...

MizzB · MizzB

Saturday - ABF suicidal. I go pick him up. SUnday - "tapering" - 10 beers Monday - he gets sent home from work for "not functioning" - he'd taken diazapam Tuesday - call from his mum, police have been involved as he was suicidal, took out a lot of money and disappeared Wednesday - He's in hospital and his mu...

jess144 · jess144

How long does it usually take to find a sponsor? I would like to start step work and to my understanding, you can't start without one. I've been doing F2F meetings and I try going to different ones to meet new people. So far I really haven't met anyone that I've clicked with or thought "this is the one." ...

Dutchy · Dutchy

For the first time in 4 weeks I took the girls to see my recovering husband at his mums where he is still staying. As soon as I got out of the car I saw something was wrong. He had either been drinking or he'd had a few seizures/absences. My mother confirmed that he was sober, hadn't been drinking but that he'...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May first speaks about the Al-Anon and AA program being founded on a spiritual basis. The reading points out that both programs acknowledge our dependence on a power greater than ourselves and the thousands of Al-Anon and AA groups around the world have members of many faiths an...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

Ugh. It seems like no matter how many Alanon meetings I go to or what I read I don't know the answer. And this question is something my problem drinker husband questions when the issue comes up. Why does his drinking bother me now? And I know that others say it doesn't matter if it bothers me it bothers...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step five has been posted to the step work board please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwo...

Lyne · Lyne

Stubborness: The writer discussed letting his faucet drip and over time it did extensive damage. It forced him to get help. With Alanon he learned he can handle things differently. Sharing in meetings and putting experience into words, has allowed him to no longer push problems aside. He can n...

Dalbert · Dalbert

Yes, another thread, : ) So, my A gets bad sinus infections about every 6 weeks. Do I need to tell an ICU nurse that alcohol is hurting her immune system? No, I don't think so. So anyway, she was sick on Thursday. I asked her if she needed some NyQuil. We didn't have any so I offered to go get some for her. On the...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Part of my weekly routine includes watching Joel on Sunday mornings. It often speaks to me and this morning was pulling me in big time. While the title is kind of strange, this episode lines up really well with our recovery I believe.... A brief summary from the video: It's easy to judge others, but un...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about making amends. I can relate to the writers description of feeling that he/she were owed amends. The idea that we, who have lived life navigating the behavior of our As, should be the ones to make amends seemed backward somehow. In my great days of mart...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I am SO thankful for this site and for all of you and your support. This disease is so horrible and takes such a toll on relationships and families. I could really use hearing some shares of survival or success. Living with a AH who is in denial is so hard. How do you manage when the other person is so con...

lookingup · lookingup

The C 2C reading for April 28 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. of understanding and supportive people. The reading suggests that we can join this group by uncovering the "Courage" to be honest about our inner thoughts and inner feelings. We are oft...

Dutchy · Dutchy

I felt so strong in the last weeks and as I read my thoughts about communication in couples counselling I just found myself crumbling. We ended last week on the fact that my and recovering husband don't communicate. It's quite clear that a lack of communication lies with my husband. I've always been a b...

Karebear · Karebear

Hello everyone, I am going absolutely crazy today. I have been in a funk and crying all day. I feel like my ABF is upset with me because of this. He drank last night and although I think I handled last night well, I did not handle this morning or today well at all. I have that overwhelming fear again... that...

Dalbert · Dalbert

So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting. The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I c...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So Tuesday I had a meeting with the company that is handling my divorce. They helped me fill out their Final Work book for divorce. It was mostly about who gets what... we have very little, so it was super easy. Kid is almost 18, by the time the divorce is final, he probably will be 18! So that ended up being e...

WestMan · WestMan

I started the new job yesterday. I would like to say thanks to all of you here who gave me encouragement. Now, looking back, I can't believe how smoothly everything has played out. Also, looking back at my Al-Anon experience I do feel like something has changed in me. Nothing big. But, something in my ou...

madowl86 · madowl86

Hey everyone. Itâs been a while since Iâve posted. Thatâs because things have been going moderately well. I just bought a house and my ABF and I moved back in together. This was a huge step because we hadnât lived together in almost 2 years. I had left because of his drinking. Our summer went well and he ha...

SaddenedSon · SaddenedSon

Hello, I am in a situation and I am not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. My father has been an alcoholic most of my life, often times cheerful drinking with stories from the past, often repeated many times over. But he is also very Bipolar when intoxicated and can flip from happy and rem...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses self esteem and how it grows when we love and accept ourselves as we are. We block our own well-being each time we base our worth on what we do or what others think of me. Even IF we had some magical power that fixed all people, places and things in the world, we might still not fe...

texas yankee · texas yankee

And I didn't let my "fixer" mentality instantly take over and do something stupid. Over the years (for WAY too many years) I was really good at fixing my now 33 year old son's problems, many of them before he even realized that something was a problem - that's my picture next to "enabler" in the dictiona...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	JerryF, how are things? (Preview) I hear that Pele may be getting angry with volanic eruptions and earthquakes south of you. Is everything going ok for you and yours in Hilo? Kenny	KennyFenderjazz	15	833	May 12, 2018 by milkwood
	CTC 5-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 12 speaks about developing faith and trust in a power greater than ourselves. The reading points out that often we feel alone and that nothing exists that cares about us. It suggests that we reflect on some of the negative happenings of our lives so that we can see that even in ou...	lookingup	3	680	May 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	Remembering my son ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Today is the 11th Anniversary of my son's passing from this disease. I intend to spend it remembering his smile, laugh and spirit and will not be posting or responding to posts. See you tomorrow Stephen Owen King (March 4, 1966 - May 6, 2007) - Online Memorial WebsiteStephen Owen King Memorial...	hotrod	41	1578	May 12, 2018 by hotrod
	Stretching my wings a little further.... (Preview) Toroa nui, toroa roa, toroa iti i te hauiti... The albatross sours high, but in small wind, it is small. In Ao-NZ each tribe or clan has its own sayings, and songs, so I coined this one myself. On our own we are nothing sometimes. At best we are lonely and at worst we are scared and terrified. I was always s...	DavidG	4	737	May 12, 2018 by Tude
	Struggling with memories and triggers (Preview) I am not on here often, but I so appreciate the advice and encouragement I always receive when I do remember to get on. The past few days Iâve really been struggling with replaying bad memories of my husband when he was drinking. He has been sober since December, but I still have so much anxiety, and it is...	Dorothylynn	6	592	May 12, 2018 by Jerry F
	A message to the newcomers (Preview) I came to program 7 years ago with a heavy heart. My alcoholic father had died the month prior and my alcoholic spouse was spiraling deeper into his addiction and, after finding him passed out drunk and naked on the toilet at 5 AM, I knew I needed help! My father was an alcoholic and I was married to my XAH...	andromeda	11	823	May 12, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 5/11/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about the most important relationship each of us will ever have - the one with self! We spend more time with self than anyone else so wouldn't it make sense to put energy into making that relationship awesome? Another person can't prevent us from feeling lone...	Iamhere	7	619	May 11, 2018 by Tude
	And this is why .. (Preview) Aaannnddd .. the XAH is off and running again with no communication and I'm trying to balance that in the midst of being very PMS. So I'm trying to breathe .. and remember this is all going to workout again and right here and now is why my XAH is an a$$ with a capital "A". What I have learned in this process i...	SerenityRUS	14	2161	May 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Important decision to make (Preview) Hi everyone, I have an important decision to make this weekend and I don't know what to do. My alcoholic partner is passed out at the moment and I don't feel like he's in a place where I can discuss it with him. I don't know who I can talk to. Trying to seek guidance from my Higher Power, but how will I know or...	Lil99	6	886	May 11, 2018 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change 5/10/18 (Preview) In today's reading, the writer talks about gratitude for our fellowship where everyone speaks for himself or herself. There is no authority who tells what 'our' experience has been, and each of us speaks for him/her self. The sharing of experience, strength and hope helps us learn specific ways in...	Iamhere	3	753	May 11, 2018 by Dorothylynn
	As the stomach turns .. (Preview) I swear my life is the Truman Show .. I live in an alternate universe and there is a camera crew following me around .. LOL. They are looking for my Lucy reactions to things that happen .. and boy are they there. Jerry Springer should call me for a storyline, I'm totally trying to stay in my own hula hoop an...	SerenityRUS	7	657	May 10, 2018 by el-cee
	Sponsorship (Preview) Good morning everyone! I just have a question I was hoping to get feedback on. When can someone become a sponsor? Do you need to have finished all your steps before accepting to be someone's else's sponsor?	Zara0308	6	666	May 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	Thursday Morning meeting starting now (Preview) May 10, 2018THURSDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM TOPICS: Topic: Self-Indulgence vs. Thinking of Others and Open topic.Meeting lasts approximately an hour and a half. Chat afterwards.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are ot...	Overcome	3	580	May 10, 2018 by hotrod
	It was a good weekend (Preview) We've just come to the end of a 4 day bank holiday weekend and it's been a good one and I will take that for what it is. After last weekend, with my recovering husband in a very bad way whilst I visited him with our girls and his mum phoning on Monday saying her was in bed and not at work I spoke to him on the phone...	Dutchy	15	763	May 10, 2018 by Dutchy
	Courage to Change May 9 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about learning to like ourselves. The author shares that their feelings of self-worth had sunk while living with an active alcoholic to the point that they did not see their own positive traits, and could not accept the compliments of others. The author's spo...	Skorpi	6	855	May 10, 2018 by DavidG
	Using Affirmations in Self-care (Preview) Hi everyone- In addition to working on the steps and our own re overt, having a loved one with an alcoholic issue is never easy. In my own recovery and self-care, Ive been working on daily affirmations. At first they seemed cheesy, but for me they really work. In my own recovery, part of it is the loss of se...	gabigail	8	708	May 9, 2018 by canadianguy
	A mistress called Addiction (Preview) I wrote this poem 4 years ago as a way of coping with my husband's addiction to alcohol. It helped to think of alcohol as a mistress; seductive, yet still a choice. Just reading it has helped me feel better so many times. So I want to share it with others now that it isn't so raw. Hopefully it helps someone el...	MaryGondwe	4	675	May 9, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	Home is where the heart is.... (Preview) Greetings MIP family..... I am reminded daily that I am a work-in-progress, and life, although much better than before, continues to offer up its challenges. I am a long time member of MIP, who had a bit of a falling out with John a few years back, so I chose to stop participating/posting on here anymo...	canadianguy	13	808	May 9, 2018 by Skorpi
	ODAT 5-8-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the 'freedom" that we receive by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that when we first enter the program we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair--. However, when we start working the program, we soon discover that we have been released from...	hotrod	6	605	May 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today May 6 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us have spent time regretting things we have done or said, held on to anger, and wished for a different past or reality. The writer mentions that reading Alanon literature with consistency began to change his/her perspective and living in t...	yanksfan51	10	599	May 8, 2018 by mamalioness
	Checking in with gratitude (Preview) Hey guys. I miss you and this board. I have been thinking about MIP quite a bit as I took over family programming at the new treatment center I am working at. Working with the families has been hard work but an honor. If I did not know alanon, I would be at a severe disadvantage and I owe almost all my knowl...	pinkchip	11	651	May 7, 2018 by bud
	I really need to talk to someone (Preview) I'm so sad. I know I am not managing well with my AH. First post, maybe this is not the right place I don't know. I hurt his feelings. I can't bear it. I feel like I did the wrong thing now. It's a roller coaster	blueskies18	8	712	May 7, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 5/7 (Preview) Alcoholism is a disease: The writer spoke of the need to accept alcoholism as a real disease, just like tuberculosis or diabetes. With that acceptance , she could stop trying to cure her loved one. She also decided to stop blaming the alcoholic, for it was beyond his/her control. The best thing sh...	Lyne	3	570	May 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	Just dropping in to say "howdy" and hope all of you are fine (Preview) its been a while I don't even know where to start except I have been on a "house deep fixing up" cleaning, and I mean DEEP cleaning, painting, upgrading lil things here and there and even some larger things...The place looks so much cleaner, happier and updated, LOL...yea, I know how to scrub down stuf...	mamalioness	8	883	May 7, 2018 by mamalioness
	Talking up the group here... (Preview) Hi y'all... when I first arrived here my hometown group had collapsed. It was a shocker for me. I discussed the reasons then- and do not need to do this now. The nearest group is only 30 mins away... and I have been a few times. Last time I went a newer member had called for a group conscience- and wa...	DavidG	14	630	May 6, 2018 by hotrod
	Detach/Acceptance (Preview) I can finally start to see some progress in myself. It has taken a long while to get to this stage of detaching and accepting. For a long long while I tried to control the outcome for my AD. I set boundaries but they were not really boundaries they were manipulations to get her to conform and change. I...	serenity47	4	656	May 6, 2018 by Aline
	Visitation and next steps (Preview) Hi everyone, Looking for some ESH. I sold my house this week (hooray!) - bittersweet obviously, I love my home but I know it will set me free to move to my own place and leave this behind. My STBXAH pulled some last minute extortion on offer night, trying to threaten me into giving him a bunch of money now b...	VickiR	8	1749	May 5, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Do I have the right to be angry? (Preview) This evening we had our 4th couples counselling and the first thing my husband said was that he relapsed on Monday. I'm not angry about that. I was just relieved I wasn't there. He hasn't told his mum, who he lives with, which I think he should but again that's up to him. What I am angry about is that the coun...	Dutchy	28	910	May 5, 2018 by Jerry F
	Al-Anon Meeting Starting now. (Preview) Saturday Morning Alanon Meeting 10 a.m. EST starting now. May 5 2018SATURDAY MORNING & EVENING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM & 9PM EST (7AM & 6PM PACIFIC)TOPICS: Verbal Abuse, Detaching from it. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.h...	Overcome	2	545	May 5, 2018 by Overcome
	Working the program (Preview) When I first arrived at the front door of Al-Anon in 1979 I had no idea what I was getting into even when knowing I didn't want to get into anything. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know however so much was being brought to my attention and eventually my Higher Power removed my resistance to it. I...	Jerry F	12	743	May 4, 2018 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change 5/3/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading discusses humility. The writer learned in recovery that humility is not measured by how much I do for others, but by willingness to do our part in our relationship with the God of our understanding. We begin to learn what humility is when we take the First Step. By a...	Iamhere	11	730	May 4, 2018 by DavidG
	Powerlessness / what's within my power (Preview) Hi, MIP friends, I want to run by you the latest development in the ex-abf saga. I received an e-mail from him, sent from his grandfather's e-mail address, the contents similar to the previous messages - he's depressed, doesn't want to live anymore, nobody helps him, I'm bad as I do not reply to his plea...	Aline	22	781	May 4, 2018 by Aline
	Detox @home (Preview) My AH is a mess and I'm not sure what to do. He s decided to try to detox at home. He drinks 1/2 gallon a day and thinks he can just quit(I told him I think he needs an inpatient program). He didn't go cold turkey and has been drinking. However, he looks like death. He's pale, sweating, shaking, keeps falling a...	Isthisreallife	14	768	May 4, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change 5/4/18 (Preview) The Courage reading is about finding ourselves through the Al-Anon program - especially Steps 4 and 5. Many of us arrive lost, neglected and just not too sure who we are. We'e been consumed with the A(s) and others in our life to the point we can share more about their likes/dislikes than our own. Th...	Iamhere	4	540	May 4, 2018 by Lyne
	Checking out dating (Preview) I have not been on this site for a bit, but I have been reading on line and attending meetings. I decided to go out and meet a new man and see if I can get back on track with my life. I met a man 2 months ago and he seemed like a really great guy. To good to be true. My head started spinning as what he said and did appea...	joker	5	672	May 4, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Literature rec (Preview) hi all, I have not posted here in a very long time, and am due for an update... soon! I do visit and read almost daily, and I thank you for all the wisdom, dedication and compassion displayed here on a daily/hourly basis! I have two friends who have both recently lost their husbands due to alcohol-related...	oceanpine	3	545	May 3, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	howdy (Preview) there are many problems with friends and families and alcohol in my life, both parents, a sibling, friends, etc; thus i am a member of alanon. . i have had decades long problems with the dogma of this program. i am an agnostic, (an atheist, really, in the sense that i believe in no deities), and this isn't...	williamedward27	12	710	May 3, 2018 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change May 2 (Preview) Today's reading in courage to change is about accepting the help of HP and Al-Anon friends instead of stubbornly holding on to problems ourselves. The author shared that they sometimes are fixated on a problem, they cannot hear the guidance HP is sending their way. When they let go of their need to co...	Skorpi	4	620	May 3, 2018 by Bo
	What a week... (Preview) Saturday - ABF suicidal. I go pick him up. SUnday - "tapering" - 10 beers Monday - he gets sent home from work for "not functioning" - he'd taken diazapam Tuesday - call from his mum, police have been involved as he was suicidal, took out a lot of money and disappeared Wednesday - He's in hospital and his mu...	MizzB	8	695	May 3, 2018 by Dutchy
	Sponsorship (Preview) How long does it usually take to find a sponsor? I would like to start step work and to my understanding, you can't start without one. I've been doing F2F meetings and I try going to different ones to meet new people. So far I really haven't met anyone that I've clicked with or thought "this is the one." ...	jess144	6	662	May 2, 2018 by jess144
	A strange afternoon (Preview) For the first time in 4 weeks I took the girls to see my recovering husband at his mums where he is still staying. As soon as I got out of the car I saw something was wrong. He had either been drinking or he'd had a few seizures/absences. My mother confirmed that he was sober, hadn't been drinking but that he'...	Dutchy	18	770	May 1, 2018 by Dutchy
	ODAT Reading 5-1-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May first speaks about the Al-Anon and AA program being founded on a spiritual basis. The reading points out that both programs acknowledge our dependence on a power greater than ourselves and the thousands of Al-Anon and AA groups around the world have members of many faiths an...	hotrod	3	604	May 1, 2018 by Lyne
	So why is it a problem for me now? (Preview) Ugh. It seems like no matter how many Alanon meetings I go to or what I read I don't know the answer. And this question is something my problem drinker husband questions when the issue comes up. Why does his drinking bother me now? And I know that others say it doesn't matter if it bothers me it bothers...	Dancer66	7	670	Apr 30, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Step 5 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step five has been posted to the step work board please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwo...	hotrod	3	865	Apr 30, 2018 by Dutchy
	C2C, 4/30 (Preview) Stubborness: The writer discussed letting his faucet drip and over time it did extensive damage. It forced him to get help. With Alanon he learned he can handle things differently. Sharing in meetings and putting experience into words, has allowed him to no longer push problems aside. He can n...	Lyne	6	567	Apr 30, 2018 by Iamhere
	Detachment, enabling or compassion. (Preview) Yes, another thread, : ) So, my A gets bad sinus infections about every 6 weeks. Do I need to tell an ICU nurse that alcohol is hurting her immune system? No, I don't think so. So anyway, she was sick on Thursday. I asked her if she needed some NyQuil. We didn't have any so I offered to go get some for her. On the...	Dalbert	6	684	Apr 29, 2018 by Jerry F
	Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - Remove the Grave Clothes (Preview) Part of my weekly routine includes watching Joel on Sunday mornings. It often speaks to me and this morning was pulling me in big time. While the title is kind of strange, this episode lines up really well with our recovery I believe.... A brief summary from the video: It's easy to judge others, but un...	Iamhere	4	2324	Apr 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about making amends. I can relate to the writers description of feeling that he/she were owed amends. The idea that we, who have lived life navigating the behavior of our As, should be the ones to make amends seemed backward somehow. In my great days of mart...	yanksfan51	4	581	Apr 29, 2018 by DavidG
	I need to hear some success stories with AHs. I know its a struggle but I need hope and suggestions (Preview) I am SO thankful for this site and for all of you and your support. This disease is so horrible and takes such a toll on relationships and families. I could really use hearing some shares of survival or success. Living with a AH who is in denial is so hard. How do you manage when the other person is so con...	Dancer66	18	1224	Apr 29, 2018 by Bo
	CTC 4-28-18 (Preview) The C 2C reading for April 28 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. of understanding and supportive people. The reading suggests that we can join this group by uncovering the "Courage" to be honest about our inner thoughts and inner feelings. We are oft...	lookingup	10	683	Apr 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	We are not his priority (Preview) I felt so strong in the last weeks and as I read my thoughts about communication in couples counselling I just found myself crumbling. We ended last week on the fact that my and recovering husband don't communicate. It's quite clear that a lack of communication lies with my husband. I've always been a b...	Dutchy	32	882	Apr 29, 2018 by Dutchy
	Going crazy (Preview) Hello everyone, I am going absolutely crazy today. I have been in a funk and crying all day. I feel like my ABF is upset with me because of this. He drank last night and although I think I handled last night well, I did not handle this morning or today well at all. I have that overwhelming fear again... that...	Karebear	7	788	Apr 28, 2018 by madowl86
	First Meeting (Preview) So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting. The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I c...	Dalbert	14	669	Apr 28, 2018 by serenity47
	Last couple of days have been a challenge (Preview) So Tuesday I had a meeting with the company that is handling my divorce. They helped me fill out their Final Work book for divorce. It was mostly about who gets what... we have very little, so it was super easy. Kid is almost 18, by the time the divorce is final, he probably will be 18! So that ended up being e...	PosiesandPuppies	13	703	Apr 27, 2018 by bud
	The new job. (Preview) I started the new job yesterday. I would like to say thanks to all of you here who gave me encouragement. Now, looking back, I can't believe how smoothly everything has played out. Also, looking back at my Al-Anon experience I do feel like something has changed in me. Nothing big. But, something in my ou...	WestMan	8	743	Apr 27, 2018 by bud
	Going to have a talk..not sure how to word things (Preview) Hey everyone. Itâs been a while since Iâve posted. Thatâs because things have been going moderately well. I just bought a house and my ABF and I moved back in together. This was a huge step because we hadnât lived together in almost 2 years. I had left because of his drinking. Our summer went well and he ha...	madowl86	4	610	Apr 27, 2018 by Aline
	Not sure what to do (Preview) Hello, I am in a situation and I am not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. My father has been an alcoholic most of my life, often times cheerful drinking with stories from the past, often repeated many times over. But he is also very Bipolar when intoxicated and can flip from happy and rem...	SaddenedSon	7	878	Apr 27, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 4/27/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses self esteem and how it grows when we love and accept ourselves as we are. We block our own well-being each time we base our worth on what we do or what others think of me. Even IF we had some magical power that fixed all people, places and things in the world, we might still not fe...	Iamhere	2	510	Apr 27, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	I FINALLY did the right thing ! (Preview) And I didn't let my "fixer" mentality instantly take over and do something stupid. Over the years (for WAY too many years) I was really good at fixing my now 33 year old son's problems, many of them before he even realized that something was a problem - that's my picture next to "enabler" in the dictiona...	texas yankee	11	703	Apr 26, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 4/26/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...	Iamhere	4	591	Apr 26, 2018 by Aline
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.