The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with something, we don't have to use it. We are given the freedom to use a step, a slogan or any other tool when we are ready and we are free to wait as long as necessary/desired.
Many of us need time to accept and understand the spiritual nature of recovery. Al-Anon gives each of us the freedom to develop a concept of a higher power when we can and are ready and this is by design - personal meaning and personal relationship.
When we take what we like and leave the rest, we allow ourselves to be open to new ideas, and welcome challenging suggestions in recovery. There is freedom is making our own decisions, changing our minds when necessary and trying new ideas.
Today's reminder --- Because I am able to use whatever I find helpful and leave the rest, I can benefit from the experience, strength and hope of others and still follow my own heart.
Today's quote --- "With the help of this program and my Higher Power, I take charge of fashioning, shaping, choosing what kind of life I will have." from . . . In All Our Affairs
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I came to Al-Anon as a 'right-fighter'. I truly believed and my value set was built on 'right vs. wrong', 'good vs. bad' and very black/white thinking. It took a while for me to adapt and adjust to being gentle with self, taking it easy and letting go of being right!
This simple statement gave me the freedom to allow suggestions to flow in one ear, be processed in the center for possible meaning/application and flow right out the other side if I could not relate or understand. I also view my brain as a filing cabinet of sorts, so I can also file away suggestions for later use. I also came to believe that if I opted out of a suggestion for the here and now, my HP makes sure I hear it again through ESH in others at the right time.
This simple statement also gave me the power to step away from 'advice-givers'. I understand them well - I was one. It did not serve me well before recovery and it doesn't serve me well in recovery. Al-Anon taught me to be gentle with self and others, practice accepting all as they are and being open to suggestions and ideas. Al-Anon also taught me that allowing others to advise me slows my growth and sets me back as I'm giving my power away again.
I no longer am a right-fighter. I can JADE with a smile on my face and go on about my day. Life throws many curve balls, and it's OK if I miss. I finally (took a long while) understand the phrase, 'slow and steady wins the race'...
Make it a great day MIP family. The sun is shining here and it's going to be a lovely weather day. Ball tonight and a few errands are on the agenda. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH Love this simple slogan as it suggests a an important program principle. There were a few tools that I did not like or understand when I entered program however this suggestion cautioned me against arguing my point to prove I was right and suggested that I simply leave it alone and use other tools that worked for me.Much to my surprise the tools I found difficult to understand and use have become my" go to" tools of recovery The wisdom of this program is astounding . Thanks for your service
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:17:31 PM
Thanks for your service and the ESH. I like this slogan because for me it took the pressure off. When I came to program I was disappointed I couldn't fix my A, and the Steps, all the slogans, concepts of service, etc., were all foreign to me. Take what I like and leave the rest allowed me to take my time to get used to all this new stuff. Very fair I think, Lyne
It worked for me also as being an ODD man...Oppositional Defiant Disorder man. Being from a foreign culture and also born and raised in the insane atmosphere of alcohol ism ODD was my behavioral personality and it was dangerous to me and others. I fought everything not even wanting to be in the rooms listening to anyone and anything at all. I was there to "look good" the grand part of the alcoholic/addict relationship and it didn't work. I left it all and only came in with anger and left with more. When I was brought to the practice of listening with and open mind and then choosing what I thought I'd like to try out I considered "maybe that might be good for me". I opened the door just a crack to the program and my HP slipped thru the crack for which I am beyond gratitude for. I became "One of them" LOL...Thanks soooo much. ((((hugs))))
Thank you for your service, IAH, and all the ESH. I too appreciate that we are to take what we like and leave the rest. At first I wanted to take little, or, more precisely, I wanted to take a lot but MY way, if that makes sense, and that willingness to take anything at all came because my life was completely unmanageable and I knew it very well. I really like what Jerry says about HP managing to slip through a crack... That's a lot of how it feels for me too. I'm grateful it was enough for a change to begin.