Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Phil

"Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love

maresie2 · maresie2

I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...

Nette · Nette

My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...

nycbt · nycbt

Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...

laurab · laurab

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gwenk · gwenk

I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...

omajoy · omajoy

So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...

omajoy · omajoy

I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...

gardengal · gardengal

Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...

maresie2 · maresie2

At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...

Phil · Phil

You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...

jaja · jaja

A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...

Newme · Newme

Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...

Diva · Diva

Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...

jaja · jaja

Jerry F · Jerry F

I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...

Becky1 · Becky1

I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of confli...

lebe27 · lebe27

((friends)) Not sure if it is just me or what but even though I have message board set to sort by start date it keeps sorting by last post. This is really messing with my head.

marmare · marmare

Well, my A and I were supposed to be able to talk about all that has been going on. He turned his phone off, it was on long enough to check messages and didn't deposit any of his paycheck into the bank. I know I am supposed to believe that my HP will provide, but it's so hard right now, my ph...

ShelBell · ShelBell

I would like to start marriage counseling, but I am not sure if it is too soon. AH has said taht he is willing to go, he knows we have much to work through. I am afraid that it may be too soon and am also afraid of what I may hear. I have slept on the couch a couple of times in the past few weeks a...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I guess this sounds strange. But what are your thoughts on doing something special for an Active A who participates in a family outing without drinking? For some, that may not sound to out of the ordinary, but for us it is not. In a way I want to throw a big 'ol party, bu...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I had to try one more time so I calmly told my AH how sad I was and how his drinking was destroying our 30+ marriage. I told him that I have meet wonderful people at an open AA meeting and if he ever wanted to he could talk to one of them. He thanked me and I foolishly hoped he would atleast try and reconnec...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, here's the whole situation. The kids are 12/7/4. The AH has a home with no power or running water (no toilet use). My point was... I feel the need to stay home so that he can be with them rather than making my own plans. He is not taking the kids anywhere. He is no...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, I know I am going to sound selfish typing this but I just need to vent. I have had the most awful afternoon, having to verify a hotel room that I have paid for in the UK. This was booked last August fully paid for, I have the voucher with all the number, the travel agents are legitimate and the fly i...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...

valentine · valentine

My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...

debilyn · debilyn

Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...

abbyal · abbyal

Yesterday I came into the room to find some very upset people , aparently they had someone in the room slamming our program and were defending Al-Anon to no avial. Along time ago I found myself in a similar situation with a friend and it got pretty heated, when I shared this at meeting l...

marmare · marmare

So my A came to the house today. I don't know exactly what he expected, but I only gave what I could to admit that I was wrong, I tried not to make excuses and when I caught myself doing that I corrected myself. He doesn't "make" me feel lonely, I feel that way. Yes what my A does and how he a...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) Thank you all, i was feeling really bad, after reading some posts it's a little better now. Today I decided to go out to my Mom's house for the day, it was in the 60's sunny, perfect for a last fun day with the dogs before winter sets in and i needed to get big ole Sully time to get use...

laurab · laurab

I am trying to detach with love and that's fine as long as my phone calls with my A son are casual and leave me feeling hopeful. Today he called at noon, crying at his circumstances (no money, sleeping on the floor because his stuff is in storage and he can't figure out how to get it, his dog is being boarde...

lilms · lilms

FROGS Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.... The race began.... Honestly,no one in crowd really bel...

nycbt · nycbt

THANKS TO ALL OF U THAT STUCK WITH ME AND LISTEN TO ME GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT. THE TEST CAME BACK - I DON'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel1 · Angel1

Hello I have been lurking for a little while but have not yet posted my story. This morning I have a question that maybe you guys can help me with. Briefly...been married for 16 years. Have 3 kids S15, S11, D4. My AH seperated 8 years ago for 6 months because of his drinking. He got sober witho...

Phil · Phil

Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi (((((((friends)))))) I am soooooo MAD. This morning it all came to the surface and pouring out.I am angry that I have to give up my house and everything I have worked for.I am angry that I will have to live in an apartment and listen to noisey neighbors.That I will have to buy a better car and pay for...

shadow1 · shadow1

I have been told that I have a very strong program but right now, I really don’t think I do. I can talk the talk but walking the walk seems to be a different story with me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into a depression. Everything seems to be crashing down around me. I can’t seem to get my feelings...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

How Things came to be.. My whole world is torn apart because you left me with a broken heart I thought you loved me, I thought you cared I knew that you despised me from the look you gave me,and the way you stared Do you ever wonder about me? Or how things came to be? Well, I am older now and I truly cannot thank...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Trying to move forward, WAS trying to focus on me after AH's third DUI last weekend. Well, I slipped and what did I do, looked at the cell phone bill again. I was deliberately not looking at it because AH had been talking to someone this year when we separated and thought t...

afmom03 · afmom03

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gardengal · gardengal

Living with active alcoholism challenges us daily to deal with disappointment time and time again. Our expectations of another seem to toss us into dispair when it does not go according to what we think is right. We get sick. We lose faith in ourselves to help another and our self esteem plummet...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, As I sit here thinking about the craziness I have been thru these past days and weeks and months....and if I think about it these years......anyway, I am thankful.....I have two great kids....a beautiful 16 yr old daughter who loves life and is full of sunshine.....a wonderful so...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been worried a lot lately and a saw a sign on a church as I was driving to a F2F meeting. "Don't fear tomorrow. God is already there." I didn't want to offend anyone so I changed God to HP. Anyway. I am six months pregnant now and looking forward to the birth of our daughter. My ex returned...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	For those that are having some "TRYING" days (Preview) "Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love	Phil	1	444	Nov 12, 2006 by Karilynn
	Thanksgiving (Preview) I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...	maresie2	6	347	Nov 12, 2006 by peewee
	feeling sad. (Preview) Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...	artygirl	4	303	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	jealousy (Preview) OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...	Becky1	3	343	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	How should I feel NOW? (Preview) My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...	Nette	3	359	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	2 YEARS ALANON BIRTHDAY (Preview) Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...	nycbt	14	489	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	A new day and lessons learned,(I hope.) (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))	laurab	6	425	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	am i reday for step one yet? (Preview) I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...	gwenk	2	299	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	handling resentment (Preview) So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...	omajoy	3	364	Nov 11, 2006 by Christy
	Too much Holiday time (Preview) This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...	Orchid Lady	4	427	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	resentment revisited (Preview) I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...	omajoy	2	344	Nov 11, 2006 by mama_nz
	"RESILIENCE" ISNT A "SOME HAVE IT AND SOME DONT QUALITY" (Preview) Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...	gardengal	4	1340	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	loneliness (Preview) At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...	maresie2	1	248	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	After doing a step four....Blame..resentment..forgiveness (Preview) You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...	Phil	7	651	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Question! Regarding As & Memory (Preview) I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...	Tryin2havfaith	19	814	Nov 11, 2006 by Becky1
	Just what I needed (like a hole in the head) (Preview) A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...	jaja	11	502	Nov 11, 2006 by Diva
	I have an affair...I am scared... (Preview) Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...	Newme	7	690	Nov 10, 2006 by maresie2
	I'm still here (Preview) Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...	daisy2	2	265	Nov 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Something sounds selfish about this... (Preview) Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...	Diva	12	582	Nov 10, 2006 by ditto
	Got the Call - - - He's in JAIL! (Preview) Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...	carolinagirl	8	622	Nov 10, 2006 by mama_nz
	Answers (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...	Karilynn	2	320	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	Veterans Day (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...	Karilynn	3	297	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	leaving the lights on (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...	maire rua	0	347	Nov 10, 2006 by maire rua
	ALLY ON TOP FORM (LOL) (Preview) ((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...	ally	5	372	Nov 10, 2006 by shadow1
	Something I didn't tell you.... (Preview)	jaja	3	417	Nov 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	It's progress...Not perfection (Preview) I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...	Jerry F	2	515	Nov 10, 2006 by twinkie
	HP Uses Alcohol in Mysterious Ways??? (Preview) I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...	Becky1	11	752	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Symptoms of Inner Peace (Preview) Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of confli...	Peggy7	6	631	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Not Sorting Right (Preview) ((friends)) Not sure if it is just me or what but even though I have message board set to sort by start date it keeps sorting by last post. This is really messing with my head.	lebe27	2	333	Nov 10, 2006 by nal
	The A and Control & Prayer Request (Preview) Well, my A and I were supposed to be able to talk about all that has been going on. He turned his phone off, it was on long enough to check messages and didn't deposit any of his paycheck into the bank. I know I am supposed to believe that my HP will provide, but it's so hard right now, my ph...	marmare	7	635	Nov 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	moving forward (Preview) I would like to start marriage counseling, but I am not sure if it is too soon. AH has said taht he is willing to go, he knows we have much to work through. I am afraid that it may be too soon and am also afraid of what I may hear. I have slept on the couch a couple of times in the past few weeks a...	ShelBell	4	352	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
	Reward the Active A for a good day? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I guess this sounds strange. But what are your thoughts on doing something special for an Active A who participates in a family outing without drinking? For some, that may not sound to out of the ordinary, but for us it is not. In a way I want to throw a big 'ol party, bu...	rtexas	19	600	Nov 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	Just realizing how sick he is (Preview) I had to try one more time so I calmly told my AH how sad I was and how his drinking was destroying our 30+ marriage. I told him that I have meet wonderful people at an open AA meeting and if he ever wanted to he could talk to one of them. He thanked me and I foolishly hoped he would atleast try and reconnec...	Elizabeth M	3	387	Nov 9, 2006 by AndiLynn
	Holiday Concerns CLARIFICATION!!!!!!! (Preview) Ok, here's the whole situation. The kids are 12/7/4. The AH has a home with no power or running water (no toilet use). My point was... I feel the need to stay home so that he can be with them rather than making my own plans. He is not taking the kids anywhere. He is no...	carolinagirl	3	317	Nov 9, 2006 by abbyal
	frustrating behaviour (Preview) Dear all, I know I am going to sound selfish typing this but I just need to vent. I have had the most awful afternoon, having to verify a hotel room that I have paid for in the UK. This was booked last August fully paid for, I have the voucher with all the number, the travel agents are legitimate and the fly i...	maire rua	5	306	Nov 9, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Need Guidance (Preview) My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...	Tryin2havfaith	8	553	Nov 9, 2006 by Tryin2havfaith
	Trying to break the cycle (Preview) Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...	Elizabeth M	1	382	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
	What I do for me, sticky Eden (Preview) Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...	debilyn	6	469	Nov 9, 2006 by tiredtonite
	Holiday Concerns Looking for ESH!!! (Preview) OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...	carolinagirl	4	469	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Feelings of undeserving (Preview) "I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...	Tiger2006	10	639	Nov 9, 2006 by Christy
	UPDATE (Preview) Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...	carolinagirl	5	339	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Am i crossing the line? (Preview) My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...	valentine	5	394	Nov 9, 2006 by valentine
	I wonder (Preview) Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...	debilyn	11	490	Nov 9, 2006 by irish54
	Relationships with others (Preview) Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...	carolinagirl	4	377	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
	Living the Program (Preview) Yesterday I came into the room to find some very upset people , aparently they had someone in the room slamming our program and were defending Al-Anon to no avial. Along time ago I found myself in a similar situation with a friend and it got pretty heated, when I shared this at meeting l...	abbyal	10	639	Nov 9, 2006 by gardengal
	And now (Preview) So my A came to the house today. I don't know exactly what he expected, but I only gave what I could to admit that I was wrong, I tried not to make excuses and when I caught myself doing that I corrected myself. He doesn't "make" me feel lonely, I feel that way. Yes what my A does and how he a...	marmare	1	238	Nov 9, 2006 by hudsond
	Why do I feel like I am kicking a puppy? (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) Thank you all, i was feeling really bad, after reading some posts it's a little better now. Today I decided to go out to my Mom's house for the day, it was in the 60's sunny, perfect for a last fun day with the dogs before winter sets in and i needed to get big ole Sully time to get use...	Jennifer	6	388	Nov 9, 2006 by megan
	I weakened & and I feel bad. (Preview) I am trying to detach with love and that's fine as long as my phone calls with my A son are casual and leave me feeling hopeful. Today he called at noon, crying at his circumstances (no money, sleeping on the floor because his stuff is in storage and he can't figure out how to get it, his dog is being boarde...	laurab	12	686	Nov 9, 2006 by Diva
	FROGS (Preview) FROGS Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.... The race began.... Honestly,no one in crowd really bel...	lilms	4	285	Nov 8, 2006 by debilyn
	I DONT HAVE IT (Preview) THANKS TO ALL OF U THAT STUCK WITH ME AND LISTEN TO ME GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT. THE TEST CAME BACK - I DON'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!	nycbt	19	503	Nov 8, 2006 by Diva
	Why are you punishing Dad? (Preview) Hello I have been lurking for a little while but have not yet posted my story. This morning I have a question that maybe you guys can help me with. Briefly...been married for 16 years. Have 3 kids S15, S11, D4. My AH seperated 8 years ago for 6 months because of his drinking. He got sober witho...	Angel1	6	483	Nov 8, 2006 by AlaMom
	Pain (Preview) Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other...	Phil	2	367	Nov 8, 2006 by Lunamoth
	I am sooo angry...can't stop crying (Preview) Hi (((((((friends)))))) I am soooooo MAD. This morning it all came to the surface and pouring out.I am angry that I have to give up my house and everything I have worked for.I am angry that I will have to live in an apartment and listen to noisey neighbors.That I will have to buy a better car and pay for...	drucilla06	15	626	Nov 8, 2006 by Jill
	Help I have fallen and I can't get up (Preview) I have been told that I have a very strong program but right now, I really don’t think I do. I can talk the talk but walking the walk seems to be a different story with me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into a depression. Everything seems to be crashing down around me. I can’t seem to get my feelings...	shadow1	15	628	Nov 8, 2006 by shadow1
	How things came to be... (Preview) How Things came to be.. My whole world is torn apart because you left me with a broken heart I thought you loved me, I thought you cared I knew that you despised me from the look you gave me,and the way you stared Do you ever wonder about me? Or how things came to be? Well, I am older now and I truly cannot thank...	Lauren ashley	7	467	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Not my business???... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Trying to move forward, WAS trying to focus on me after AH's third DUI last weekend. Well, I slipped and what did I do, looked at the cell phone bill again. I was deliberately not looking at it because AH had been talking to someone this year when we separated and thought t...	hersh	4	400	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Slowly but surely.... (Preview)     I	afmom03	1	320	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT? (Preview) Living with active alcoholism challenges us daily to deal with disappointment time and time again. Our expectations of another seem to toss us into dispair when it does not go according to what we think is right. We get sick. We lose faith in ourselves to help another and our self esteem plummet...	gardengal	10	1763	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Getting Thru (Preview) Hello Friends, As I sit here thinking about the craziness I have been thru these past days and weeks and months....and if I think about it these years......anyway, I am thankful.....I have two great kids....a beautiful 16 yr old daughter who loves life and is full of sunshine.....a wonderful so...	Andrea12	10	366	Nov 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Don't fear tomorrow...HP is already there! (Preview) I have been worried a lot lately and a saw a sign on a church as I was driving to a F2F meeting. "Don't fear tomorrow. God is already there." I didn't want to offend anyone so I changed God to HP. Anyway. I am six months pregnant now and looking forward to the birth of our daughter. My ex returned...	Powerless	5	463	Nov 8, 2006 by maire rua
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.