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HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT?
(Preview)
Living with active alcoholism challenges us daily to deal with disappointment time and time again. Our expectations of another seem to toss us into dispair when it does not go according to what we think is right. We get sick. We lose faith in ourselves to help another and our self esteem plummet...
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gardengal
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10
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1550
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Getting Thru
(Preview)
Hello Friends,
As I sit here thinking about the craziness I have been thru these past days and weeks and months....and if I think about it these years......anyway, I am thankful.....I have two great kids....a beautiful 16 yr old daughter who loves life and is full of sunshine.....a wonderful so...
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Andrea12
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10
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312
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Don't fear tomorrow...HP is already there!
(Preview)
I have been worried a lot lately and a saw a sign on a church as I was driving to a F2F meeting. "Don't fear tomorrow. God is already there." I didn't want to offend anyone so I changed God to HP. Anyway. I am six months pregnant now and looking forward to the birth of our daughter. My ex returned...
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Powerless
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5
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400
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From C2C - November 7
(Preview)
-- Edited by tea2 at 00:15, 2006-11-08
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Gailey
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6
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441
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Feeling good
(Preview)
My AH will have 3 months sober tomorrow, the 9th. It has been quite an adjustment for me, as for a long time I couldn't see why I needed this program. All the reasons people told me I should be here didn't seem to apply, as I didn't blame myself or have low self-esteem and a myriad...
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ShelBell
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2
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204
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Afraid
(Preview)
Hi,
My 18mo old son's father and I are separated, and last weekend he invited me over for dinner and when I got there he was completely drunk (I posted a couple days ago about that). He has our son on the weekends and because of my concerns about his behaviour when he drinks I have a parentin...
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mama_nz
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7
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260
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Owning up to my mistakes....
(Preview)
Months ago before taking care of mom, I gave my work # to one on my husbands buddies. He called me at work and wanted my email and other phone #'s. I gave him my email. We exchange pretty explict emails for a couple months and then not for a while, then a bit more. He is always wanti...
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marmare
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5
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390
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Really REally Really bad day!
(Preview)
Well today was the day from HELL. A called all night and I didn't answer and then started up again this morning. Answered the 2nd call and made up an excuse about the battery being dead... He seemed ok. Then later he called and I was busy and he said I am filing for divorce and I want joint custody and I'm not p...
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carolinagirl
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8
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364
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i am miserable
(Preview)
i suppose i am choosing to be miserable. i am letting my ex ah knock down all of my boundries and that feels really awful. it just occured to me today that my father is never comming back (he died in may and i was there, it was cancer and not exactly sudden). but until today i think i really believed he was just...
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serendipity
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6
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317
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Recovery
(Preview)
I attended a committee meeting yesterday for a retreat and one of the women shared something that made so much sense to me.
"Recovery takes a very long time, it's like being kicked to death by a rabbit".
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Mobirdie
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2
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254
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New here -Is walking out enabling them?
(Preview)
Hi, new here so sorry if I cover any old ground or anything like that..
I have a dillemma, and would appreciate some advice please!
My partner is the drinker. We have been separated for the last 10 months, and have an 18 mo old son who is in my day-to-day care.
It was my birthday on Friday and my...
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mama_nz
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8
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406
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Are they all so inwardly involved?
(Preview)
So many times I attempt to have a discussion with my A about how I am feeling, how he is feeling, etc. The minute I begin to talk about inner feelings, he changes the subject. I mean REALLY changes the subject!! He will answer with something like, "Look how the dog is lying on his bed with all his feet in the a...
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Diva
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15
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568
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RTexas???
(Preview)
Tex,
Just wondering if you are okay, ya know with the sacrificing live chickens and turtles butts stuff....
lilms
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lilms
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1
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229
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AA and active drinking
(Preview)
My A will not go to meetings or call on sober people if he is drinking. He says it is a respect issue.
I don't know AA's stance on this. Those I've spoken to say it is a personal choice.
He stops drinking, goes to meetings but doesn't do the work, and eventually starts drinking agai...
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shauna27
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7
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364
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Just two choices
(Preview)
I think I am onto something today.. I have just two choices...accept the fact that my husband is an alcoholic which means I will never come first and at any time he will decide not to come home, that I need to detach and not take it personal OR end the marriage. Seems so simple...I think my pro...
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Elizabeth M
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11
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515
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Do you do things for you.... really?
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
When you are doing things, for yourself, to satisfy your needs .... do they? Are you satisfied when you are done? Do you get that sigh of relief and feel grateful for it?
Over the last few months, I have done things "for me", but what that meant was in spite of...
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rtexas
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7
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421
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Newbie
(Preview)
Hi, I'm Shauna and I'm new here. I've been with my A for 3 years but we've known each other forever. He's been going to AA for years but never does the work and hasn't managed to stay sober for more than a month. We've split several times as a result of the chaos. The last time was t...
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shauna27
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12
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359
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A Borrow and Share
(Preview)
When I "Let Go and Let God," I think more clearly and wisely. Without having to think about it, I quickly let go of things that cause me immediate pain and discomfort. Because I find it hard to let go of the kind of worrisome thoughts and attitudes that cause me immense anguish, all I need do during those ti...
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Phil
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2
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269
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Hubby not drinking (for now)
(Preview)
It's been almost 2 weeks since hubby had a beer!
Oct. 26, I had a good day. Had my appt with my C.H.A.D. counselor (Confidential help for alcohol & drugs it is an agency that offers professional outpatient counseling for addicts and thier families)
Then went to work for 1/2 a night, left...
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horselover58
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2
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312
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Something of an introduction
(Preview)
I found your Web site a few weeks ago, and have attended a few meetings now. At first I felt really awkward and out of place (I am a newcomer to Al-Anon), but that changed during yesterday morning's meeting. For whatever reason, the people in that room were suddenly transformed from anonymous words on a...
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ZMrE2Me
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6
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430
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A different way
(Preview)
Last night my A and I had a disagreement.
He is still drinking but not using cocaine, I don't think he has used in months. He has changed. He doesn't know within himself what has caused the change; I don't try to figure it out. I thought maybe it was my mother's death, or that I...
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marmare
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3
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307
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Ummmmm, how much to buy my own plane?
(Preview)
Hi all,
Hubby just called.
He is number 90 something on the standby list. His ticket date is for 12/04/06. The problem is that he is on a tiny island, Dutch Harbor, and he isn't the only fisherman/crabber waiting to get home. And to top it off, there aren't alot of flights coing in and outa Dutch daily...
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Dolphin123
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6
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393
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An Update
(Preview)
(((MIP Family)))
Its been a while since I've posted anything, just been reading posts and responding when I feel I have something to contribute. Sometimes I feel like I need to just watch, listen, and observe so that growth or understanding can happen. Lately things have been good ev...
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twinmom2
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4
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236
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A's are so cunning yet predictable
(Preview)
My A has been out of my home for 3 weeks today. I asked him to go to detox, rehab and begin a sober life Or move out. So, he went to live with a fellow A while his wife was away on business. Well she came back yesterday and behold my A just misses me so much! He called yesterday and said he needed to see the do...
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kicky
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8
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418
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can't turn the tears off today
(Preview)
i am powerless over this disease. there. i said it.
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kabbie
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8
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457
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Missing the way it was
(Preview)
Hello all,
These really early mornings are difficult - dark, sleepy, not truly rested I've never been a morning person and since "this" started mornings are even harder.
But this morning I ironed fabric and cut pieces for a quilt I have planned, been quite a while since I've tried to be creative, h...
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Orchid Lady
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6
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298
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A test of really staying out of his business
(Preview)
My co-worker just found out a web site that you could access that is for public knoweledge. She put her son's name in there. Her son does not have any problems that she knows of. Married, 3 children, nice home and good job. Lo and behold...he was arrested for dui in April. I wanted to put my A son's name in so...
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Gailey
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7
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415
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husband home from rehab today
(Preview)
I knew this was going to be a tough day, but I really am having a hard time. He just came out of a 28 day program, and is really freaking out about being on his own. He went out to a meeting a few minutes ago, but really couldn't calm down until he left. I don't know if he doubts his willpower, or if it is totally no...
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krusland
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7
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378
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Desperately seeking......
(Preview)
Peace, Love, calm in the storm, happiness, a content feeling, and hopeful...
This has been an terrible week.. My husband of nearly 20 years and I have been seperated for over 7 weeks and it isnt getting easier. Since I kicked him out he got a DUI and is not drinking ( thats good, right ??) Well, It is...
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Tammy
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4
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268
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His Loss
(Preview)
I keep thinking about my perspective ever since I was young I was always afraid I was going to miss something. I carry that now when living off sheer hope that the A will get better. I see now it's the same thing. I want my brain to realize that the only thing I'm missing is more of the sam...
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carolinagirl
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4
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300
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looking for a sponsor
(Preview)
I am looking for a new sponsor. I want to believe the steps will help me out of the stuff I am in. I have good days and tremendously bad days. I also have a resolve that I will not allow the A's addiction to destroy me. I know it has come close.
I hope someone will volunteer. I could even go with a tempor...
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maresie2
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2
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239
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So So Weekend
(Preview)
The A came over on Friday stayed the nite and then left Sat. I think he's been out drinking since but don't know. I started to get irritated. I don't like not knowing what's going on and having him not answer the phone. Why can't I just stop caring about what he does and not see it as my problem. I realize my fi...
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carolinagirl
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3
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247
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Small pleasures
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
My day started with thinking that my cat had peed on my dogs blanket in revenge. I was so mad as I was cleaning it up. Then I felt a drip hit the back of my head. I have a leak in the roof -- here is where I should have stayed on my knees and just prayed. I d...
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Lunamoth
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6
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248
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Please - let's all focus on recovery
(Preview)
Folks.... the good of this site FAR outweighs any of the bad. For all of our sakes, can we please get the focus back onto recovery, supporting each other, and loving and caring for one another. Choosing sides in personal fights do us NO good, and they take away from the primary aim and goal o...
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canadianguy
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7
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481
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speak up, or keep quiet w/ sober A?
(Preview)
So, for years, I stuffed my feelings - practically a prerequisite to being in Alanon. I didn't even really understand that feeling wasn't the same as thinking. I'm slowly starting to learn different.
When my A got sober 2˝ years ago, and I then got into Alanon, I often just bit my tongue because I co...
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thinkstoomuch
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8
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554
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A Share From The AA Board
(Preview)
Denial Ain't a River in Egypt.
Denial is the PRIMARY psychological symptom of addiction. It is an automatic and unconscious component of addictions. Addicts are often the last to recognize their disease, pursuing their addictions into the gates of insanity, the collapse of health and ul...
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Phil
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3
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459
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Have a good day....
(Preview)
Deep meaningLiving a life with deep passion means living a life with deep meaning. It may very well be those precise areas of your life where you have endured great hardship, and became determined to turn it around, that you find you can share the same with others.
Then you are a beacon of hop...
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Phil
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0
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288
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Realization
(Preview)
Hello,
Grateful member of alanon.
What concerns me right now is my 14 year old daughter. Last year she ended up in counselling due to a prank at school. It went thru the court system. She had to meet with a probation officer and was ordered counselli...
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Idealsummerluv
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6
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321
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Lani
(Preview)
come back, can't believe i missed you, I am in the chat room
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Robinks
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0
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215
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turmoil/indecision
(Preview)
Trouble and turmoil always happen to me on Saturday or Sunday. Today was no exception. My personal calendar is full of the letter "T" on many many dates....a symbol of problems with my son. I am trying so hard to detach with love. I have set boundaries which he does not respect. I have repeatedly told him...
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omajoy
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8
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420
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New at This
(Preview)
I'm just coming to terms with the fact that my husband is an alcoholic. He had a DUI four years ago, dealt with it (apparently), but drove home drunk last week. He admitted later that he's been drinking without my knowledge for quite some time. He went to AA and seems to be doing and saying the right things...
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lumin
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10
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331
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Seeing my part
(Preview)
This week I was with the A as he drove one of his cars which he has destroyed in his rage athon driving craziness. It is a new car. He has destroyed the steering by crashing it into a hill, he has destroyed the transmission in record time. He cant afford to have it fixed.
When he fi...
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maresie2
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0
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331
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I have a ?????
(Preview)
Do I have to re-register to use the step work board? My log-in is not being accepted.
Thanks
Michelle
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ShelBell
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1
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232
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Long Lost Brother Surfaces
(Preview)
When someone asks me how many siblings I have, I say 1 sister and 3 brothers. My brothers are my half brothers from previous marriages of my parents. My sister and I did not grow up with them. Periodically, two of them would come live us. My youngest brother...what I think is m...
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ZiggyDoodles
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3
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431
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TiredTonight
(Preview)
Hi TT - in an earlier post you said you like hearing that you have helped. Oh my!
One night I was fussing about my A and how AWFUL he talks to his Dad, and you said you used to have the same reaction to your A and how he spoke to his father. Then one time your FIL didn’t know you were there, and he sp...
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Jill
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0
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267
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Sharing part of an article on Acceptance
(Preview)
One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't.
We may get our hopes up again and again, o...
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Phil
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5
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319
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Didn't get the job
(Preview)
Okay so I got a letter from the Candy Company, I didn't get the job.
I started thinking about this last week and decided that Alanon helps in more than just dealing with my A. I thought about "what if I don't get this job?" "I really want this job" "I should have this job" then I realized what...
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marmare
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8
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486
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My son is home!
(Preview)
Hi friends,
My son, the soldier, is home from a year overseas. I am so happy and relieved. This was his third time in combat. He asked that we not travel to his homecoming. As difficult as that was we honored his request. He called last night. Let's say he didn't call from a "church". He sounded so happy a...
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nmike
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8
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305
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question about amends
(Preview)
........... Is it better to make amends verbally? I can list the people I feel I need to make amends to but am leery about saying anything to them especially because I am good at not saying what I mean the right way. So far, I feel better just being a better person, being kinder to these...
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jaja
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5
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489
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My Sad weekend
(Preview)
Hello...I had one the worst nights of my life last night...I was cleaning and cooking...I really love cooking and enjoy it so much..I was doing fine on my own...suddenly my A husband showed up with so much love and passion and was insisting to take me out (of course he had drinks bef...
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Newme
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9
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410
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Hubby Coming home, he could have lost his life
(Preview)
Hi all,
I spoke with hubby on Monday and he asked me to find him a flight home because he was breaking contract and wanted to come home. At the time he told me that it was becasue the company lied to him about the ammount of income he was bringing in.
I couldn't find him a flight home, all the flights leavi...
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Dolphin123
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7
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417
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God Box
(Preview)
I have been drafted into doing a workshop on the God Box this next year. I have never been to a workshop on this so I can use all the input I can get.
Do you have one?
How did you make it?
Have you ever attended a workshop on this and if so please share with me how it was done.
I appreciate...
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Mobirdie
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4
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903
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sick to my stomach
(Preview)
I am sick to my stomach the A is missing. He took off with the truck. No one has seen him or so they say. He is upset over numerous issues. So am I.
In some ways I hate to say this I feel like he is dead already. He doesn't care about anything or anyone or his actions.
He may ha...
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maresie2
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10
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530
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about me
(Preview)
My husband has found out that he has Hepatitis C, and yesterday I had to get tested. Can some of the people out here if u have experience what this is like can u pls give me some information.
At this time I am very nervous about what the test are going to say. I doubt i have it is a slim chance however i am still...
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nycbt
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10
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296
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I did the right thing..
(Preview)
The attorney investigating my As child custody case just left... I answered his questions honestly and from the heart but so wanted to share more and kept my mouth shut when he said the A hasn't drank in 3 years besides the relapse in August (when I knew he had been drinking a weekend in April as well.&nbs...
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twinkie
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4
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356
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What my 9&10 step taught me about amends.
(Preview)
In my 9th step, I learned how to apologize. I learned how to voice exactly what it was I was apologizing for.
I was dishonest with you in the fact that I told you this……but, yet did this instead.
I was inconsiderate of your feelings in order to gain……for myself.
&nb...
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ZiggyDoodles
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3
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475
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Thoughts and Feelings
(Preview)
"Not every decision is a good one, just because I made it"
"What is most important, the intentions someone has or the results that materialize?"
These are quotes from my sponsor who I spoke with at length today.
I remember the first time I sat in front of what was then called a Computer. It w...
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John
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24
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1258
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Things that make you happy....
(Preview)
(((Happy Friday Everyone))))
I have been kind of in a calm place lately after a chaotic weekend, and thinking about what makes me happy and calm. I would love to see all of your joys, whether they be memories or something in the present. Here are a few of mine (I guess they ended up being mo...
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hersh
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20
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673
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Givers and Takers
(Preview)
Dear MIP friends,
John's post down below reminded me of this quote.
" Why is it that the takers of this world always seem to find the givers?"
These wise words were said by a dear friend of mine many years ago when we both worked together at a center for survivors of domestic violenc...
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athena12
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4
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551
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You are not alone...
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Want an example of a strange 24 hours. Starting at 5:30pm yesterday I had a conversation with my AW. We are seperated for 2 weeks now and she is getting a little beligerant about how it is not right that we are apart. That I am doing this to her and she is pissed that...
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rtexas
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6
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453
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