Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Phil

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let g...

Gailey · Gailey

Karilynn wrote: He is now almost 6 months sober and he now tells me that as a "chronic relapser" he wasn't ready to get sober. He wanted it, but wasn't ready for it. That sentence says alot to me. I thought that if you wanted something enough you would go to any...

kicky · kicky

Since I asked my A to leave, he has bounced from place to place just waiting for me to (once again) change my mind and give him another chance. But I know he has to feel pain to get better, and my house isn't painful enough. It's warm and happy, with dogs and kids,a roaring fireplace, a good cook, clea...

kerry5 · kerry5

: > : > : >Around the corner I have a friend, : > : > : > : > : >In this great city that has no end, : > : > : > : > : >Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, : > : > : > : > : >And before I know it, a year is gone. : > : > : > : > : >And I never see my old frie...

laurab · laurab

Here's what's happening. My A son's separated from wife couldn't reach him on the phone so she went over to his empty apartment and found him drunk and maybe coked and he told her to leave because he would be dead anyway in an hour. She left and called me. My H and I suggested she call 911. She did. He called m...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I have been trying for sometime to get my son intrested in going to alateen. But he has no desire. Things here are getting progressively worse with him and his attitude. He has been in and out of therapy with and with out me as well. I know there is something at the root causing this. I know I haven't b...

nycbt · nycbt

On Saturday I had a slip. I have gone off when of the drugs that I have been trying to get off of for a while. I am also have PMS, and this weekend I was very emional. On Saturday I snap and I broke glass. I was so upset this weekend. So I had to share with everyone it does happen to people even those who have been...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Group, Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Over the weekend I took some time out to just slow things down a bit in my head. Life has been moving pretty fast in my world lately and its been difficult to get a hold on what this all means. Things are going very well for my A. H...

marmare · marmare

Please add my daughter in-law, Lisa, to your prayer list. She is headed to the hospital this morning. She has Cystitis Fibrosis, it looks like Pneumonia. Husband is home, seems like he has accepted that I too am human and make mistakes. We will just take it slow and smart....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! This monday morning and I am spending some time with you all to round out the weekend experience. Was a part of the hosting district for a Fall Assembly for our Al-Anon Family Group Area. This happens every four years and I was here at that one also. One small part of...

Barbara · Barbara

During this wknds AA w/AlAnon convention I heard a few good things. The last AlAnon meeting I attended was on serenity. Im now content to be home. I use to thrive on chaos and now its finally ok to be able to sit back and be calm - read that book, burn those candles, watch a movie, play w/the bunnies, etc. Im s...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Have been arguing all week with my baby boy's father since last weekend when I found him drunk while our son was with him. At first I said it concerned me and didn't want my son staying the night anymore, but he can still see him during the day. This made him very defensive and he flat out refused. ...

AlaMom · AlaMom

ten years ago that I could have a life of my own today, I would tell you that you were either nuts or that I had a life of my own. Oh how much I did not know back then. This past weekend, I attended w/ my hubs the MA AA convention w/ Alanon participation. Hubs and I were able to go our sepera...

omajoy · omajoy

I know that holidays will receive much attention here in the coming days. I am very into worrying about my plans for Thanksgiving. Months ago we made plans to fly to another state to spend three days with my aging parents and extended family. Since then my mom has grown physically weaker, so I am so happy...

AFP · AFP

Hi, I’m new here and have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head I’m not even sure where to start. My husband drinks. Is he A? I don’t know, and I don’t know if it is for me to say… he says he’s not. However, after 5 years of being together, with him drinki...

curious · curious

ET-- I have been worried about you and your daughter. Please let me know if you both are okay. --Ramona

Mindy · Mindy

So, i pick him up friday and saturday hes drinikning a minature and sunday is drinking god knows what. So upset, dissapointed, angry....The little hope I did have is gone.Honestly I knew he was goign to do this. He has sone it every time he has gotten outof rehab. Drinks within 2 weeks of getting out and t...

maresie2 · maresie2

I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear...

marmare · marmare

I GOT A JOB!!!! Brand new position at a local furniture store, like an inventory control position.....I just got back from drug screen and interview, they hired me on the spot!!!! Drug screen will be fine, I don't have to worry about stuff like the A. I haven't heard from him, he still is living el...

John · John

Dear Isabela40, I am moved to provide you with an amends for my reaction to your post entitled "confused about cookbook". I handled it in a way that I am not proud of by any means. Having had a bit of time to step back and look at the whole situation and my role in it, I am appalled by the way I at...

Ann · Ann

I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handl...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I told Ziggy that I didn't fly away, just need more hours in the day. This past week has been nuts. I spent hours on the computer looking for research on Marijuana as it was the topic of my term paper that was due this past Thursday. There is tons of information out there, and not all of it good. I f...

Jill · Jill

hi I don't remember how this happened, but the message board on my pc shows in order or replies. I prefer them to be in order of when originally posted. Can anyone clue me in? thanks! Jill

laurab · laurab

Today is a quiet day. Breakfast with friends, Sunday papers, reading and a little cleaning up. Yesterday I arranged to meet my A son to give him the extra key to his storage place. We decided to meet at my part time job a 1/2 hour before my work time. I had loaded my car with lots of his stuff from his move. N...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

I wish ........I did not love him, It would make things so much easier. I have been trying to work my steps. Well,,,, I have also set up boundries.... like no vodka at my house period!!!!! walked away last night and left him home because he had to bring the bottle.... I went home alone... no big deal. So muc...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Just curious to know how you are doing? Any word on if the hubby is able to make it home to you soon? Ziggy

bob6502 · bob6502

In my efforts to be more involved in my program, I have decided I need to read the literature more often. The April 18th page in Courage to Change has summed alot of issues I have been having the passed few days. Here it is: "...As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put...

ditto · ditto

My ex-husband was an a. I N-E-V-E-R want to have to deal with that sort of thing again. Not ever. We are divorced now and I am in a sort of long-distance friendship with a man. He has come to visit once. He is coming to visit again. He has always remained respectful of my bounda...

tea2 · tea2

When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. It i...

jaja · jaja

DoN4me · DoN4me

I guess best way to start is letting you know some more back ground. I am very scared of the net have been for sometime. Alot of the things I have been dealing with are more emotional then anything. It is how I meet my A. We had a great relationship online. But I found out not everything is as it seems. I don't b...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post a little update.......my transmission went in my car, motor is blown up in the jeep....how lovely is this....sigh.....I have a co-worker who is out to get me...long story goes way back...boss asked me today, what is the bad blood, I said, I have no i...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Boy what a week... I sit back today and wonder how much of this drama do I bring on myself? I will skip most of the details, they are much the same as everyone else's chaos, slamming doors, breaking things and yelling and screaming. But... how often do I put mysel...

Phil · Phil

"Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love

maresie2 · maresie2

I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...

Nette · Nette

My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...

nycbt · nycbt

Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...

laurab · laurab

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gwenk · gwenk

I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...

omajoy · omajoy

So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...

omajoy · omajoy

I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...

gardengal · gardengal

Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...

maresie2 · maresie2

At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...

Phil · Phil

You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...

jaja · jaja

A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...

Newme · Newme

Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...

Diva · Diva

Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...

jaja · jaja

Jerry F · Jerry F

I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...

Becky1 · Becky1

I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Letting Go Takes Love (Preview) To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let g...	Phil	5	733	Nov 14, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Somthing Karilynn wrote.................................. (Preview) Karilynn wrote: He is now almost 6 months sober and he now tells me that as a "chronic relapser" he wasn't ready to get sober. He wanted it, but wasn't ready for it. That sentence says alot to me. I thought that if you wanted something enough you would go to any...	Gailey	7	622	Nov 14, 2006 by AndiLynn
	A is spinning out of control (Preview) Since I asked my A to leave, he has bounced from place to place just waiting for me to (once again) change my mind and give him another chance. But I know he has to feel pain to get better, and my house isn't painful enough. It's warm and happy, with dogs and kids,a roaring fireplace, a good cook, clea...	kicky	5	504	Nov 14, 2006 by Noni
	Poem I Received (Preview) : > : > : >Around the corner I have a friend, : > : > : > : > : >In this great city that has no end, : > : > : > : > : >Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, : > : > : > : > : >And before I know it, a year is gone. : > : > : > : > : >And I never see my old frie...	kerry5	2	387	Nov 14, 2006 by ally
	He's in the emergency room and I'm at home. (Preview) Here's what's happening. My A son's separated from wife couldn't reach him on the phone so she went over to his empty apartment and found him drunk and maybe coked and he told her to leave because he would be dead anyway in an hour. She left and called me. My H and I suggested she call 911. She did. He called m...	laurab	26	1258	Nov 13, 2006 by laurab
	Alateen? (Preview) I have been trying for sometime to get my son intrested in going to alateen. But he has no desire. Things here are getting progressively worse with him and his attitude. He has been in and out of therapy with and with out me as well. I know there is something at the root causing this. I know I haven't b...	DoN4me	6	536	Nov 13, 2006 by abbyal
	MY SLIP (Preview) On Saturday I had a slip. I have gone off when of the drugs that I have been trying to get off of for a while. I am also have PMS, and this weekend I was very emional. On Saturday I snap and I broke glass. I was so upset this weekend. So I had to share with everyone it does happen to people even those who have been...	nycbt	6	512	Nov 13, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	When is it o.k. to relax? (Preview) Hello Group, Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Over the weekend I took some time out to just slow things down a bit in my head. Life has been moving pretty fast in my world lately and its been difficult to get a hold on what this all means. Things are going very well for my A. H...	twinmom2	4	592	Nov 13, 2006 by hudsond
	Prayer Request (Preview) Please add my daughter in-law, Lisa, to your prayer list. She is headed to the hospital this morning. She has Cystitis Fibrosis, it looks like Pneumonia. Husband is home, seems like he has accepted that I too am human and make mistakes. We will just take it slow and smart....	marmare	5	400	Nov 13, 2006 by Lexie
	You just have to go...you have to!! (Preview) Aloha Family!! This monday morning and I am spending some time with you all to round out the weekend experience. Was a part of the hosting district for a Fall Assembly for our Al-Anon Family Group Area. This happens every four years and I was here at that one also. One small part of...	Jerry F	0	429	Nov 13, 2006 by Jerry F
	Im feeling calm, relaxed - content to be home (Preview) During this wknds AA w/AlAnon convention I heard a few good things. The last AlAnon meeting I attended was on serenity. Im now content to be home. I use to thrive on chaos and now its finally ok to be able to sit back and be calm - read that book, burn those candles, watch a movie, play w/the bunnies, etc. Im s...	Barbara	2	446	Nov 13, 2006 by barisax
	attention seeking? (Preview) Have been arguing all week with my baby boy's father since last weekend when I found him drunk while our son was with him. At first I said it concerned me and didn't want my son staying the night anymore, but he can still see him during the day. This made him very defensive and he flat out refused. ...	mama_nz	12	571	Nov 13, 2006 by Jerry F
	If you told me... (Preview) ten years ago that I could have a life of my own today, I would tell you that you were either nuts or that I had a life of my own. Oh how much I did not know back then. This past weekend, I attended w/ my hubs the MA AA convention w/ Alanon participation. Hubs and I were able to go our sepera...	AlaMom	1	576	Nov 13, 2006 by Jerry F
	Holidays (Preview) I know that holidays will receive much attention here in the coming days. I am very into worrying about my plans for Thanksgiving. Months ago we made plans to fly to another state to spend three days with my aging parents and extended family. Since then my mom has grown physically weaker, so I am so happy...	omajoy	6	497	Nov 13, 2006 by barisax
	New to the group and I have a couple of questions (Preview) Hi, I’m new here and have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head I’m not even sure where to start. My husband drinks. Is he A? I don’t know, and I don’t know if it is for me to say… he says he’s not. However, after 5 years of being together, with him drinki...	AFP	9	641	Nov 13, 2006 by Jerry F
	ET are you there? (Preview) ET-- I have been worried about you and your daughter. Please let me know if you both are okay. --Ramona	curious	1	364	Nov 13, 2006 by ET
	My A relapses 24 hours out of rehab (Preview) So, i pick him up friday and saturday hes drinikning a minature and sunday is drinking god knows what. So upset, dissapointed, angry....The little hope I did have is gone.Honestly I knew he was goign to do this. He has sone it every time he has gotten outof rehab. Drinks within 2 weeks of getting out and t...	Mindy	6	456	Nov 13, 2006 by hudsond
	Controlling my day (Preview) I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear...	maresie2	5	444	Nov 13, 2006 by rtexas
	New Job!!!!! (Preview) I GOT A JOB!!!! Brand new position at a local furniture store, like an inventory control position.....I just got back from drug screen and interview, they hired me on the spot!!!! Drug screen will be fine, I don't have to worry about stuff like the A. I haven't heard from him, he still is living el...	marmare	10	643	Nov 13, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	To Isabela40 (Preview) Dear Isabela40, I am moved to provide you with an amends for my reaction to your post entitled "confused about cookbook". I handled it in a way that I am not proud of by any means. Having had a bit of time to step back and look at the whole situation and my role in it, I am appalled by the way I at...	John	3	616	Nov 13, 2006 by isabela40
	Head Spinning (Preview) I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handl...	Ann	4	360	Nov 12, 2006 by ShelBell
	RE: Dolphin123 did you fly away (Preview) Hi all, I told Ziggy that I didn't fly away, just need more hours in the day. This past week has been nuts. I spent hours on the computer looking for research on Marijuana as it was the topic of my term paper that was due this past Thursday. There is tons of information out there, and not all of it good. I f...	Dolphin123	3	642	Nov 12, 2006 by peewee
	sequence of messages (Preview) hi I don't remember how this happened, but the message board on my pc shows in order or replies. I prefer them to be in order of when originally posted. Can anyone clue me in? thanks! Jill	Jill	6	986	Nov 12, 2006 by Karilynn
	can't stop wondering and worrying (Preview) Today is a quiet day. Breakfast with friends, Sunday papers, reading and a little cleaning up. Yesterday I arranged to meet my A son to give him the extra key to his storage place. We decided to meet at my part time job a 1/2 hour before my work time. I had loaded my car with lots of his stuff from his move. N...	laurab	5	563	Nov 12, 2006 by jaja
	Back on the crazy train (Preview) I wish ........I did not love him, It would make things so much easier. I have been trying to work my steps. Well,,,, I have also set up boundries.... like no vodka at my house period!!!!! walked away last night and left him home because he had to bring the bottle.... I went home alone... no big deal. So muc...	mandalynn38	9	529	Nov 12, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Dolphin123 did you fly away? (Preview) Just curious to know how you are doing? Any word on if the hubby is able to make it home to you soon? Ziggy	ZiggyDoodles	1	379	Nov 12, 2006 by Dolphin123
	April 18 Courage to Change (Preview) In my efforts to be more involved in my program, I have decided I need to read the literature more often. The April 18th page in Courage to Change has summed alot of issues I have been having the passed few days. Here it is: "...As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put...	bob6502	6	1491	Nov 12, 2006 by bob6502
	How Much Is Too Much (Preview) My ex-husband was an a. I N-E-V-E-R want to have to deal with that sort of thing again. Not ever. We are divorced now and I am in a sort of long-distance friendship with a man. He has come to visit once. He is coming to visit again. He has always remained respectful of my bounda...	ditto	8	592	Nov 12, 2006 by lin0606
	gentle reminder re: Copyrighting (Preview) When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. It i...	tea2	5	697	Nov 12, 2006 by kismetstrand
	What to do? (or maybe do nothing?) (Preview)	jaja	2	376	Nov 12, 2006 by Christy
	Fear of online (Preview) I guess best way to start is letting you know some more back ground. I am very scared of the net have been for sometime. Alot of the things I have been dealing with are more emotional then anything. It is how I meet my A. We had a great relationship online. But I found out not everything is as it seems. I don't b...	DoN4me	1	399	Nov 12, 2006 by TLC2
	Still Getting Thru (Preview) ((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post a little update.......my transmission went in my car, motor is blown up in the jeep....how lovely is this....sigh.....I have a co-worker who is out to get me...long story goes way back...boss asked me today, what is the bad blood, I said, I have no i...	Andrea12	9	591	Nov 12, 2006 by mel123
	Wanna buy my fake HP liscense... cheap (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Boy what a week... I sit back today and wonder how much of this drama do I bring on myself? I will skip most of the details, they are much the same as everyone else's chaos, slamming doors, breaking things and yelling and screaming. But... how often do I put mysel...	rtexas	7	564	Nov 12, 2006 by carosie
	For those that are having some "TRYING" days (Preview) "Just cut your head off...and do "THE DO THINGS" And have the best day you can With Love	Phil	1	549	Nov 12, 2006 by Karilynn
	Thanksgiving (Preview) I am sticking to my plans not to cook thanskgiving for the A. Last year I almost killed myself making a gourmet meal. His friends came over and devoured it. I paid for all of it of course. I did not get a hand with anything, not one cup did he wash up. He did his normal supervision stu...	maresie2	6	439	Nov 12, 2006 by peewee
	feeling sad. (Preview) Hello everyone I've been really focussed and caught up in getting my house ready to sell, I haven't had much time to reflect on what I've been through in the past couple of months. Here's a quick recap... I filed for divorce and left my A/CH husband in September. He didn't handle it well, left a dru...	artygirl	4	372	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	jealousy (Preview) OK, I've been around Alanon for almost a year....have done lots of reading, talking, posting, chatting, etc. But, sometimes things just get to me. The other night, I was in the house, and A was across the street with his friend. Hubby and I always kiss each other hello and goodbye, it is...	Becky1	3	441	Nov 11, 2006 by Andrea12
	How should I feel NOW? (Preview) My AH was sober for 33 days....until last night. He decided to go to an AA meeting. I thought that was a positive thing. Well, I should have known better (he came home drunk from the last 3 meetings he went to before getting sober). It happened again. I knew something wa...	Nette	3	433	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	2 YEARS ALANON BIRTHDAY (Preview) Happy birthday to me. 2 yrs in alanon both 7 and the 9th are the 2 times i have for birthdays. Ok 2 yrs ago.......... My husband and I were physical fighting. The reason why I came to Alanon I put my fist through a glass. My husband drove me so nuts that I would flip out and start to bite and hit, and throw gl...	nycbt	14	559	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	A new day and lessons learned,(I hope.) (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))	laurab	6	496	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	am i reday for step one yet? (Preview) I’m fed up being in victim mode… I’m fed up with having to hide his behaviour towards me…(cos I look bad)… He is (when he is in his right mind) a good guy….. The rest/most of the time he has a resentment so big towards me that neither of us can get past it……….. He does stay out/away a lot (especiall...	gwenk	2	370	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	handling resentment (Preview) So, last night around 6:30 my little 16 months old grandbaby arrived to spend the weekend with us. Now we keep him daily anyway, but are keeping him this weekend while his mother (my ex-DIL) flies away on a "girlfriend's weekend" in another state. My son has only supervised visits, but so far today, no s...	omajoy	3	433	Nov 11, 2006 by Christy
	Too much Holiday time (Preview) This is the first holiday season I've had to face since the marriage started falling apart - his drinking, etc. has changed the situtation from drifting apart to speeding apart. I thought I was doing pretty good switching from angry detachment to compassionate detachment - but last night I...	Orchid Lady	4	500	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	resentment revisited (Preview) I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath...	omajoy	2	426	Nov 11, 2006 by mama_nz
	"RESILIENCE" ISNT A "SOME HAVE IT AND SOME DONT QUALITY" (Preview) Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times,...	gardengal	4	1455	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	loneliness (Preview) At this time of year around the A I feel incredilby lonely. I think I used to fill up the loneliness with being angry at him or sad about him. The truth is he is quite happy to be an alcoholic it works for him very very well. He gets what he wants. This year I have accepted that I...	maresie2	1	339	Nov 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	After doing a step four....Blame..resentment..forgiveness (Preview) You realize now that the people who wronged you were perhaps a mixed up mess with their own very serious problems. Though you did not like their symptoms and the way they distribute them to you, you understand their imperfections and hereby forgive them. Realizing that they, like yourself were far, f...	Phil	7	764	Nov 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Question! Regarding As & Memory (Preview) I've been wondering about active As and memory loss. Can someone please explain this to me, because I can't make any sense of it. I understand that they have memory lapses. But how come mine can remember everything he's ever forgotten when he is drinking? And I mean everythin...	Tryin2havfaith	19	996	Nov 11, 2006 by Becky1
	Just what I needed (like a hole in the head) (Preview) A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my...	jaja	11	576	Nov 11, 2006 by Diva
	I have an affair...I am scared... (Preview) Hi all...dont know the reason but maybe many lonely nights,lots of fights and not getting enough attention in the first years of my marriage to my AH ended up having an affair with someone i knew before him...to be honest when I think about what he is bringing to my life everyday I dont feel guilty...	Newme	7	768	Nov 10, 2006 by maresie2
	I'm still here (Preview) Hi all, i'm sorry i haven't been around, but so much is happening. i quit my job, my A bf is getting trought 6 months!!!!!!! sober and we are just sooooo busy. We were away alot, i went home for a couple of days and now we are getting ready for your big trip. Its kind of my birthday present, we are going to Mal...	daisy2	2	334	Nov 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Something sounds selfish about this... (Preview) Here you are...(hypothetical situation)...someone you dearly love is in trouble. Worse if that person is a family member. Even worse if it is your child. The trouble doesn't have to have anything to do with drinking or addiction. Let's say it doesn't. The loved one has simply done something stupid,...	Diva	12	651	Nov 10, 2006 by ditto
	Got the Call - - - He's in JAIL! (Preview) Well he called collect tonight, he's in jail the night before I'm supposed to go to DC . The message says will you accept a collect call from, "if you want any of my check you better...." I filed for child support today. Called his boss who was looking for him and told him where he was along with the realtor,...	carolinagirl	8	690	Nov 10, 2006 by mama_nz
	Answers (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), After reading Tea's post, I have decided to delete my post. Not wanting to jeopardize this site, I didn't realize that it would be a problem. This site has been nothing but helpful to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger it. Live strong, Karil...	Karilynn	2	411	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	Veterans Day (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))), Tomorrow (11/11) is Veterans Day here in the US. Forget the sales, the day off on Monday for the kids or the fact the banks are closed. This is a day about honoring our war veterans who have served us and are serving now in our Armed Forces. Regar...	Karilynn	3	368	Nov 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	leaving the lights on (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for all your support in frustrating behaviour, yes I got the hotel room sorted, I do have it, it has finally shown up in the system. Yesterday I left the lights on in the car and of course battery was dead once I came to go home from work. Sorted out without any major drama, am fortunate to...	maire rua	0	442	Nov 10, 2006 by maire rua
	ALLY ON TOP FORM (LOL) (Preview) ((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))) The phrase lol used to confuse me in here at first. But this week in here, I have Laughed Out Loud non stop. I have had so much happiness in here and I really needed it. The nutjobs in this room are getting more by the day,(lol). So here is just a few people&...	ally	5	440	Nov 10, 2006 by shadow1
	Something I didn't tell you.... (Preview)	jaja	3	485	Nov 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	It's progress...Not perfection (Preview) I remember an incident from early recovery where I was asking my HP about a trial (I thought) I was going thru and how HP saw the whole thing. While I was in this conversation the station on my car radio started transmitting a alert signal and then "this is a test...this is only a test." I know that my...	Jerry F	2	585	Nov 10, 2006 by twinkie
	HP Uses Alcohol in Mysterious Ways??? (Preview) I'll try to keep this simple....but last night hubby was at his regular place, across the street, drinking with his friend. Around 7pm, he came home, all excited. We have a large field behind our house, and apparently two guys were back there, probably hunting illegally. Anyway...	Becky1	11	875	Nov 10, 2006 by hudsond
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.