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caught between my husband and son (as usual)
(Preview)
Help!!!!
2 days ago my A son decided to move to Florida, new place, new friends etc. He will take his dog and some stuff and drive from NY. He has a sober friend he can stay with till he gets settled. He has been driving without a license for months.
The Problem: His car is registered to my h...
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laurab
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19
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567
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASTIFF
(Preview)
(((((((((((MyTrina)))))))))))))),
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Trina!
Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!
You're still such a young babe and have a lllllllllllooooooonnnnnn...
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Maria123
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10
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364
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I have some important questions ...
(Preview)
Hi - I haven't posted for a long time, but here I am again. I have these questions and I simply can't figure out the answers. I hope I can phrase them correctly to get across what I really need to say.
First of all, I know I can't live with this man forever, and I also know that he's not going to c...
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HadEnuff
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10
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604
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dealing with the broken promises
(Preview)
im trying my hardest not to angry with my A when he breaks his promises...i know that if the alcohol wasnt controlling him he would keep his word.
So how does one get over the fact that promises get broken?
At the moment i am choosing to write this than have an arguement. But i am boiling on the inside. i...
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arty
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6
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512
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Why do I feel so guilty?
(Preview)
So I went out and got the protection order today even though I have no idea where to serve him. Now I feel so guilty. Nevermind that he broke into my house and stole food out of my children's mouths. Nevermind the fact that he said he was going to file for divorce and wanted joint custod...
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carolinagirl
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6
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416
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How do you tell if they r arrogant or if it's disease?
(Preview)
Lately my A comes off as is if I'm the one who has a problem which maybe I do - I am co-dependant, after all - but so does he! He's an alcoholic!!! He goes to AA again now ( starting 2 mos.or so ago) and he knows I'm back in Al-Anon. But he acts like h...
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jaja
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1
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252
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watchiing people go down the toilet
(Preview)
Both the A and his brother have significant substance abuse issues. When the A's mother decided out of the blue to move out and go marry some guy several states away she didn't think twice about kicking the A's older brother out to live on his own.
Right now the older brother is showi...
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maresie2
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7
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328
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me and my big mouth
(Preview)
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jaja
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4
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303
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The Irony
(Preview)
When I first joined this forum, I made a post about this being more "in the trenches" than the f2f meetings I normally attend. More newcomers, more people in the thick of things, and posting a blow-by-blow like an embedded reporter.
I have been in these rooms long enough to have seen and heard much o...
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barisax
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4
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283
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ARTY!! I need your exper.
(Preview)
You said earlier on one of your posts that your attorney made it so you could be solely responsible for selling the house. What was the process for this? Our house has an offer and we have both signed the contract but I don't think he'll show for the closing and that will kill the deal! ...
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carolinagirl
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2
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269
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Good news
(Preview)
The A has already started on the trying to manipulate me for Thanksgiving stuff. He has been saying how low his brother is. Every year since I got together with the A they all spent thanksigivng with his mother. At some point I opted out of that because I felt resentment o...
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maresie2
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3
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262
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Really surrendering.....
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone))))
I have started on Step Two in my stepwork, and have realized that it is such a big deal....
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"...
This whole year has been one giant glob of insanity, insanity from the alcoholic in my life, insanity...
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hersh
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4
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253
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No longer waiting
(Preview)
Hi All
Feeling pretty good this AM. I have been waiting for my AH to break the polite silence that we have been living with ( for 2 weeks) since he returned from his vacation. I been waiting for a kind word or acknowledgement that my feelings were hurt by his actions before he left. W...
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Elizabeth M
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4
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239
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documentary on HBO "thin"
(Preview)
Last night I watched a documentary on HBO "Thin". I thought it was pretty riveting stuff.
One of the huge issues the women confront is the lies. That is one of my huge issues with the A everything is a lie. Another is their rebelliousness and inability to follow...
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maresie2
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1
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545
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really understanding the craving
(Preview)
As I have posted this before...I am addicted to food...especially sugar. It has made my life unmanageable and miserable.
I have even tried, by self will, to give it up. I would say to myself if I can get off the rollercoaster of binge eating, then maybe I will have more hope for my A son. The cravings a...
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Gailey
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3
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321
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Accepting kindess as I change so does my world
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
It's been so long since I trusted people's motives for being kind. I somehow got used to being treated special either before a bad incident or after one that I no longer trusted anyone's motives for doing something nice.
Over the last year I have worked hard giving up&nb...
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Jennifer
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1
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234
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Legalities suggestions please!!
(Preview)
I have talked before about the truck that is registered in both my husband's and my name. It is in the impound from his recent dui. I am tired of paying insurance on it and know that the payments for it will not get made. I'm not even sure if he's going to get it out of the impound. W...
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carolinagirl
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4
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471
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Letting go of expectations
(Preview)
Probably one of the most profound things I have learned from this program is to let go of expectations.
This Thanksgiving I have decided to go out of town to my younger son's and dil's. I usually go to my sister's house with the rest of my family. My son and dil cannot make it this year so we decided to go...
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Gailey
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4
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265
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today on my 49th birthday my brother & mother both called me
(Preview)
First I heard from my brother. He wanted to say Happy Birthday. He doesnt sound like himself but at least he reached out to me. Said Mom and our other brother will be okay, that if they ever need cars he will buy them for them. I felt like asking when he'll pay rent/buy moms condo as she's moved out and he's st...
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Barbara
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12
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1089
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Prayer for change
(Preview)
My A sent me this prayer today. He's come so far and I'm so proud of his accomplishments. Both his sobriety and his ability to do his job in Alaska. What was supposed to be a three month stint is going to be perm. The company wants him to stay and has offered almost twice his inital pay (wooohooo!!). He was 9 m...
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Christy
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8
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395
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Al-Anon Commercial
(Preview)
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afmom03
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5
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929
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finding my purpose / my first 11 months in alanon
(Preview)
was reading a good article in the newspaper. It was written by a women that tries to encourage us. It was an article about how much lose brings us down. the article was so true. She talked about how letting go of things lifts a tremendos amount of weight from our shoulders.
I got to thinking about wher...
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purplebutterfly
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2
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285
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I'm out of town and he broke into my house!
(Preview)
Well tonight is my last night in DC and I have tried to contine the trrip and have a good time. The A went to jail on a DUI the night before I left, lost his job, etc. Nobody bailed him and he got out the next day anyway so in the middle of my trip I get a call from him saying hes going to my house and the...
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carolinagirl
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11
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665
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I started as a little seed
(Preview)
My contribution to experience, strength, and hope.
Enjoy my friends, SenoraBob
    ...
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bob6502
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4
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337
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Bird Seed
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
My AW left a card at the house for me a week or so ago. It was a sappy "your the greatest" kind of card. But in it she wrote:
" God provides enough seed to feed all the birds, but he doesn't throw it into the nest ... "
I am not sure what that ment to her? Or why she woul...
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rtexas
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4
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331
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To shy to speak out
(Preview)
Being very new to the Alanon group I am finding myself very shy to speak at the meetings. I am lost for words and when I do I tremble or my voice quivers with nervousness. It's very hard to speak and especially when it comes to the steps.
I was at a meeting last night and the topic was step 5. I am of course not...
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albertarose
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9
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398
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Welp... so tomorrow is her birthday
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))))
I have never been good at cutting to the chase with her and saying what I mean. You know, say what you mean and don't say it mean. So now that I am trying to do that... she doesn't believe me. Guess that is a tough pill to swallow.
I have been very direct, but not ug...
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rtexas
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10
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517
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Family Thanksgiving...should I take her?
(Preview)
Hey Everyone,
My wife is still not working any sort of program and simply asks me to be patient while she searches for her 'right solution'. My family has expressed an interest in seeing her at our Thanksgiving because they haven't in two years. She is getting sicker by the week,...
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jeeves
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6
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388
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So Much For That
(Preview)
Left the A. several messages last week-one apologizing for giving him crap and the other to thank him for telling me about a certain hiking path-it was so beautiful.
Didn't hear back. Didn't expect to.
I started moving my stuff to the new place back home. He knows nothing about this m...
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Tryin2havfaith
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1
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270
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Being quiet
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
I'm being quiet. Along the lines of if nothing good to say don't say anything. Last week I wrote about spending the night at my Mom's, it was nice ... would have been nicer if I had not beat myself up for telling my A he could not come along. So dumb, we're getting divorced, he never wan...
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Jennifer
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2
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272
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Letting Go Takes Love
(Preview)
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let g...
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Phil
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5
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524
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Somthing Karilynn wrote..................................
(Preview)
Karilynn wrote:
He is now almost 6 months sober and he now tells me that as a "chronic relapser" he wasn't ready to get sober. He wanted it, but wasn't ready for it.
That sentence says alot to me. I thought that if you wanted something enough you would go to any...
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Gailey
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7
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492
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A is spinning out of control
(Preview)
Since I asked my A to leave, he has bounced from place to place just waiting for me to (once again) change my mind and give him another chance. But I know he has to feel pain to get better, and my house isn't painful enough. It's warm and happy, with dogs and kids,a roaring fireplace, a good cook, clea...
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kicky
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5
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383
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Poem I Received
(Preview)
: > : > : >Around the corner I have a friend, : > : > : > : > : >In this great city that has no end, : > : > : > : > : >Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, : > : > : > : > : >And before I know it, a year is gone. : > : > : > : > : >And I never see my old frie...
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kerry5
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2
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276
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He's in the emergency room and I'm at home.
(Preview)
Here's what's happening. My A son's separated from wife couldn't reach him on the phone so she went over to his empty apartment and found him drunk and maybe coked and he told her to leave because he would be dead anyway in an hour. She left and called me. My H and I suggested she call 911. She did. He called m...
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laurab
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26
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956
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Alateen?
(Preview)
I have been trying for sometime to get my son intrested in going to alateen. But he has no desire. Things here are getting progressively worse with him and his attitude. He has been in and out of therapy with and with out me as well. I know there is something at the root causing this. I know I haven't b...
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DoN4me
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6
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367
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MY SLIP
(Preview)
On Saturday
I had a slip. I have gone off when of the drugs that I have been trying to get off of for a while. I am also have PMS, and this weekend I was very emional. On Saturday I snap and I broke glass. I was so upset this weekend. So I had to share with everyone it does happen to people even those who have been...
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nycbt
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6
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383
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When is it o.k. to relax?
(Preview)
Hello Group,
Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Over the weekend I took some time out to just slow things down a bit in my head. Life has been moving pretty fast in my world lately and its been difficult to get a hold on what this all means. Things are going very well for my A. H...
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twinmom2
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4
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432
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Prayer Request
(Preview)
Please add my daughter in-law, Lisa, to your prayer list. She is headed to the hospital this morning. She has Cystitis Fibrosis, it looks like Pneumonia.
Husband is home, seems like he has accepted that I too am human and make mistakes. We will just take it slow and smart....
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marmare
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5
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279
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You just have to go...you have to!!
(Preview)
Aloha Family!!
This monday morning and I am spending some time with you all to round out the weekend experience. Was a part of the hosting district for a Fall Assembly for our Al-Anon Family Group Area. This happens every four years and I was here at that one also. One small part of...
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Jerry F
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0
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298
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Im feeling calm, relaxed - content to be home
(Preview)
During this wknds AA w/AlAnon convention I heard a few good things. The last AlAnon meeting I attended was on serenity. Im now content to be home. I use to thrive on chaos and now its finally ok to be able to sit back and be calm - read that book, burn those candles, watch a movie, play w/the bunnies, etc. Im s...
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Barbara
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2
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316
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attention seeking?
(Preview)
Have been arguing all week with my baby boy's father since last weekend when I found him drunk while our son was with him.
At first I said it concerned me and didn't want my son staying the night anymore, but he can still see him during the day. This made him very defensive and he flat out refused.
...
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mama_nz
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12
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439
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If you told me...
(Preview)
ten years ago that I could have a life of my own today, I would tell you that you were either nuts or that I had a life of my own. Oh how much I did not know back then.
This past weekend, I attended w/ my hubs the MA AA convention w/ Alanon participation. Hubs and I were able to go our sepera...
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AlaMom
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1
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435
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Holidays
(Preview)
I know that holidays will receive much attention here in the coming days. I am very into worrying about my plans for Thanksgiving. Months ago we made plans to fly to another state to spend three days with my aging parents and extended family. Since then my mom has grown physically weaker, so I am so happy...
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omajoy
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6
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359
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New to the group and I have a couple of questions
(Preview)
Hi,
I’m new here and have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head I’m not even sure where to start.
My husband drinks. Is he A? I don’t know, and I don’t know if it is for me to say… he says he’s not.
However, after 5 years of being together, with him drinki...
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AFP
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9
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510
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ET are you there?
(Preview)
ET--
I have been worried about you and your daughter. Please let me know if you both are okay.
--Ramona
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curious
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1
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222
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My A relapses 24 hours out of rehab
(Preview)
So, i pick him up friday and saturday hes drinikning a minature and sunday is drinking god knows what. So upset, dissapointed, angry....The little hope I did have is gone.Honestly I knew he was goign to do this. He has sone it every time he has gotten outof rehab. Drinks within 2 weeks of getting out and t...
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Mindy
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6
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325
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Controlling my day
(Preview)
I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear...
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maresie2
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5
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319
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New Job!!!!!
(Preview)
I GOT A JOB!!!! Brand new position at a local furniture store, like an inventory control position.....I just got back from drug screen and interview, they hired me on the spot!!!! Drug screen will be fine, I don't have to worry about stuff like the A. I haven't heard from him, he still is living el...
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marmare
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10
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437
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To Isabela40
(Preview)
Dear Isabela40,
I am moved to provide you with an amends for my reaction to your post entitled "confused about cookbook". I handled it in a way that I am not proud of by any means. Having had a bit of time to step back and look at the whole situation and my role in it, I am appalled by the way I at...
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John
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3
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472
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Head Spinning
(Preview)
I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handl...
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Ann
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4
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237
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RE: Dolphin123 did you fly away
(Preview)
Hi all,
I told Ziggy that I didn't fly away, just need more hours in the day.
This past week has been nuts. I spent hours on the computer looking for research on Marijuana as it was the topic of my term paper that was due this past Thursday. There is tons of information out there, and not all of it good. I f...
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Dolphin123
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3
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402
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sequence of messages
(Preview)
hi I don't remember how this happened, but the message board on my pc shows in order or replies. I prefer them to be in order of when originally posted. Can anyone clue me in? thanks! Jill
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Jill
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6
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830
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can't stop wondering and worrying
(Preview)
Today is a quiet day. Breakfast with friends, Sunday papers, reading and a little cleaning up.
Yesterday I arranged to meet my A son to give him the extra key to his storage place. We decided to meet at my part time job a 1/2 hour before my work time. I had loaded my car with lots of his stuff from his move. N...
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laurab
|
5
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414
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Back on the crazy train
(Preview)
I wish ........I did not love him, It would make things so much easier. I have been trying to work my steps. Well,,,, I have also set up boundries.... like no vodka at my house period!!!!! walked away last night and left him home because he had to bring the bottle.... I went home alone... no big deal. So muc...
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mandalynn38
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9
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392
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Dolphin123 did you fly away?
(Preview)
Just curious to know how you are doing? Any word on if the hubby is able to make it home to you soon?
Ziggy
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ZiggyDoodles
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1
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249
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April 18 Courage to Change
(Preview)
In my efforts to be more involved in my program, I have decided I need to read the literature more often. The April 18th page in Courage to Change has summed alot of issues I have been having the passed few days.
Here it is: "...As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put...
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bob6502
|
6
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1138
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How Much Is Too Much
(Preview)
My ex-husband was an a. I N-E-V-E-R want to have to deal with that sort of thing again. Not ever.
We are divorced now and I am in a sort of long-distance friendship with a man. He has come to visit once. He is coming to visit again. He has always remained respectful of my bounda...
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ditto
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8
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464
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gentle reminder re: Copyrighting
(Preview)
When I read:
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher.
It i...
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tea2
|
5
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511
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What to do? (or maybe do nothing?)
(Preview)
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jaja
|
2
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255
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