Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I'm having a really hard time right now. My program tells me to be honest and say how I feel. I'm having a really hard time now. I know my slogans and tools. I know it is my choice whether or not to make it a good day. I know I can change my attitude. I know it works when I do. But I'm so tired. I'm so..... unhappy/h...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

By silently withdrawing into myself, isolating myself from others, I show anger in a passive way. I am: angry over some real or perceived offense. incapable of venting my anger openly and prefer to remain silent. afraid of an outburst of anger, afraid I'll be unable to stop. stuffing my feelings to st...

DT1221 · DT1221

Raven, if you are out there and want to talk please let me know.... DT1221

lmt123 · lmt123

Thanks to you all who shared what your plans are for Turkey Day! I hope everyone gets to rest a bit afterward.

Kathi

babysteps · babysteps

What is wrong with me? Several times today I have critisized my AH in a way that I know is going to belittle him. First I told him his work wasn't getting the attention it needed. Then I told him his pants were dirty. Now I just asked him if he has a buzz! I know these are such little things, but if they were...

marmare · marmare

Well the job I accepted last week was a job but not the best of jobs for me personally. I continued to work and pray for some guidance. I interviewed on Monday for a sales position. It was a great interview, lasted just over an hour. I was offered the position this morning and ac...

lmt123 · lmt123

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving! I also wanted to say that I am thankful for everyone of you beautiful, loving creatures here.

I am cooking this year as MIL is having knee problems. I decided to do it at the last minute (last week, LOL), so therefor...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Last night my AH went to drop off something and came home three hours later. He wasn’t fall down drunk but wasn’t sober either. I was upset and stressed because we have been so distant lately and the previous 2 nights we had made baby steps trying to reconnect. Upset that he chose to s...

QOD · QOD

I just wanted to say thank you to EVERYONE here at MIP. Your responses to my crisis was wonderful and truly did help me. My AH showed up sometime yesterday while I was at work. When my 13 year old son got home, he was asleep in the den. By the time I got home w/my 4 year old daughter,...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) May each of you have a blessed Thanksgiving Day where ever you are... and with whom ever you choose to spend it with. I'm thankful for this website and each of you who have been supportive and honest. I'll be with my family and lots of extended family this year. ...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me......I know for no doubt my husband is gone to me...this I know....I can't seem know this in my heart......I keep trying to see a glimpse of him somewhere........I think I do....and then in a second he is cracking and drinking again...... I thought I h...

Gailey · Gailey

Something seems to be happening with my A son! And....I have nothing to do with it!!! I can really see this program working big time for me. I think when I first came here I use to think that I would never get to where most of these folks were if the A was to continue drinking. I was doomed to a life of worry...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Why is it that optimists seem to be so much happier than pessimists? There is something really wonderful about optimists. They're fun to be around, aren't they? No matter how bad their situation, optimists can always find something to enjoy - usually simple things like the taste of a go...

twinkie · twinkie

I'm back again feeling very stressed the past few days. I don't even know what's triggering this or where to begin. But I'm not feeling well and feel a lot of negativity and want to vent. I know that is not healthy and I feel miserable afterwards. I finally got a counselor to help me...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

What is it about the stupid holidays that make us feel obliged to deal with these people. Mind you if we didn't have kids together I would have said hell no! But since we do I feel obligated to let him see his kids on the holidays. I really don't want him to come and think we would have&nb...

Lanchas · Lanchas

It seems we have some new comers, so I thought I'd tell my story again, especially since it's changed a little. I've been on this board for 1 year, 8 months, 11 days. So here's my story: I am an only child. My mom has been an A all my life - even while she had me.

From the time I was a baby to...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Home for Thanksgivng break. Really nervous about how Thanksgiving will be since my mom is crushed about the lack of family coming. Hoping to have a good break despite things. Since I'm home I'll be on here more so if anyone needs to talk or anything send me a message. Lanchas

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Thanks so much for being here this year. You all have wonderful support and I have learned so much here - I can't tell you how this board and you wonderful souls have saved me so many times. AH is back, he is 24 days sober and he is acting like his wonderful self again. It is...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I need some help in dealing with my AW's self-pity. I know this is common, and I know she is not happy right now for many reasons. This weekend I just couldn't keep my mouth closed. Every conversation with her has become how much her life sucks. I feel for her...

Maria123 · Maria123

What a beautiful new song from Martina McBridge ------- hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if she's in program

You can spend your whole life buildin' Something from nothin One storm could come and blow it all away Build it anyway You could chase a dream That seems so out of reach And you...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I feel the sucking of getting sucked into drama all around me. My MIL called at 12:30am to tell me her lost baby called collect last night and then emailed me at 130am saying that he told her it would cost $900 to get the truck out of impound. I called last friday and it was $465. Today I c...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

(((((All)))))), I have been thinking about a concept brought up by a group member in one of my home groups. She talked one night of how we often in a relationship give people 'custody' of things. Giving someone 'custody' is not always a bad thing, in fact if it's balanced and in context of a healthy fam...

Rita G · Rita G

So I went to lunch at a local restaurant, as I was leaving in walked my A daughter & her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend ignored me - but my daughter did acknowledge me. We hugged & did the typical "Hey, how are you?, What are you doing?" She said, "I'll call you later" Geez - I felt lik...

Violeta · Violeta

So, my Abf and I went to a party on saturday. When I picked him up from lunch, he already had a few drinks in him. We got to the party and he started drinking more and more and then I recognized in his face he had done coke. He started to pick a fight with a co-worker, a huge argument started and the party was ruin...

horselover58 · horselover58

I have a situation and would like any ideas. My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk? That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturda...

HereIam · HereIam

Seriously. About a year ago sister and I put together a lot of pieces and well! what a whole we found. Dear old Mom, the martyr, was quite the drinking girl. As is so often the case, the hard part is separating her outrageous (drunken) behavior from her awful betrayals as a sober person. Which ca...

ditto · ditto

This really is not about any alanon topic that I can discover. However, I don't know who else to ask, so please forgive me for straying from the subject. My car needed an alignment. So I went to a tire store. There were 2 female customers there ahead of me. Ther...

QOD · QOD

HI to everyone. I haven't been here in a LONG TIME! And that is good I think. Well to me it was. That meant things were going ok w/my A husband. He has been clean and sober for 6 months and one week to the day as of last Thursday, 11/16/06. Here is the pooper.....he has been gone since th...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm breaking up with my Abf which is long overdue. I'm upset about the fact that I love his family...his sister is the best and treats me like a sister....and his mum welcomes me all the time. I really enjoyed going to his parent's house on Sunday afternoons, and just chatting. We h...

Messy · Messy

Thank you, to everyone for all your lovely words of encouragement. This is probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life (I thought childbirth was - boy I was way wrong

). Just wanted to let everyone know that he came home on Saturday night, I dropped our son off at...

Kethry · Kethry

I’ve been reading through the posts for a while, finding so many similarities between peoples’ stories and what I have been going through. I am hoping that these messages will give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. I have an A b/f – we’ve been seeing each other f...

Katastrophe · Katastrophe

...and now I'm planning again, but terrified of failling (again). I had planned to leave my AH in September. We talked about it, I gave him a date so he'd know when he would need to start taking care of the bills on his own, etc. When it came down to signing a lease on my own place, I panicked. He said...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

nwwoman · nwwoman

My mom and I are the only people in the program in our family. She is here visiting from out of town and I feel obligated to be around family that is active in there drinking, however on the same side of the coin I want to go. I'm confused in my own mind. My sister who, last time my mom was here, told my m...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

So the silence has finally ended and last night we hugged for the first time in 3 weeks. Now what? I haven’t asked him to stop drinking and he has not offered to. Don’t want to slip into denial but can’t live with the silence. Does anyone have any self-reflecting questions I should be...

bev · bev

hi everyone,havent posted in awhile..but as some of you know i am married to an alcoholic..he is still drinking,and it is getting worse,he drinks every weekend,and drinks when he is off work during the week..i just noticed a little while ago{when i took the dogs out}that the side of my house is scorch...

FairyTales · FairyTales

Hi I'm new to the board but not to Alanon. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2yrs now. I have been married to my active A now for 3yrs. We seperated a year ago and are currently trying to work things out even though he has not quit drinking. I have learned alot thru Alano...

Keoki · Keoki

I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking. I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home! Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay. How can I refuse the mother of my childre...

Gailey · Gailey

I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of those days that I did not get out of bed for very long. Today is much better! My A son seems to be spiraling downward. My thought for this is that he does not have a job, seems to be very depressed and just doesn't know what he is going to do. Now...that is just my opi...

cedarpines · cedarpines

Hi (((Everyone))), I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...

Gailey · Gailey

As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Roomies, I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year. I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...

Noahs Ark · Noahs Ark

Hi I am new, my name is noah, Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My focus has been on all the...

evey · evey

I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand. All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...

laurab · laurab

I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...

debilyn · debilyn

I was just thinking and rereading the personality question. We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it. There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me. So as far as I am concerne...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi (((((((roomies))))))) I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th

Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch. Thanks for all your support Love...

Noahs Ark · Noahs Ark

Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself. I am leaving this...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

hello ((((((((friends)))))))), I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow ...

Jill · Jill

In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...

NottaClu · NottaClu

A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...

arty · arty

I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day... its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing.... So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Dear Friends, I received this in the mail today: ME Sitting in his room is driving me wild.. I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness.. I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess. Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love.. ...

MdmDragonfly · MdmDragonfly

I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground. My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...

Messy · Messy

Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...

confused · confused

Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Falling (No Man/Woman Is An Island) (Preview) I'm having a really hard time right now. My program tells me to be honest and say how I feel. I'm having a really hard time now. I know my slogans and tools. I know it is my choice whether or not to make it a good day. I know I can change my attitude. I know it works when I do. But I'm so tired. I'm so..... unhappy/h...	kismetstrand	10	506	Nov 23, 2006 by mac57
	Is Silently withdrawing another form of anger? (Preview) By silently withdrawing into myself, isolating myself from others, I show anger in a passive way. I am: angry over some real or perceived offense. incapable of venting my anger openly and prefer to remain silent. afraid of an outburst of anger, afraid I'll be unable to stop. stuffing my feelings to st...	Peggy7	0	480	Nov 22, 2006 by Peggy7
	RAVEN (Preview) Raven, if you are out there and want to talk please let me know.... DT1221	DT1221	0	209	Nov 22, 2006 by DT1221
	Re: gobble, gobble, gobble... (Preview) Thanks to you all who shared what your plans are for Turkey Day! I hope everyone gets to rest a bit afterward. Kathi	lmt123	0	222	Nov 22, 2006 by lmt123
	Why can't I keep my mouth shut? (Preview) What is wrong with me? Several times today I have critisized my AH in a way that I know is going to belittle him. First I told him his work wasn't getting the attention it needed. Then I told him his pants were dirty. Now I just asked him if he has a buzz! I know these are such little things, but if they were...	babysteps	5	490	Nov 22, 2006 by maresie2
	Another New Job (Preview) Well the job I accepted last week was a job but not the best of jobs for me personally. I continued to work and pray for some guidance. I interviewed on Monday for a sales position. It was a great interview, lasted just over an hour. I was offered the position this morning and ac...	marmare	3	288	Nov 22, 2006 by doxie
	gobble, gobble, gobble... (Preview) Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving! I also wanted to say that I am thankful for everyone of you beautiful, loving creatures here. I am cooking this year as MIL is having knee problems. I decided to do it at the last minute (last week, LOL), so therefor...	lmt123	7	356	Nov 22, 2006 by MrBlue42
	When Is It Overreacting? (Preview) Last night my AH went to drop off something and came home three hours later. He wasn’t fall down drunk but wasn’t sober either. I was upset and stressed because we have been so distant lately and the previous 2 nights we had made baby steps trying to reconnect. Upset that he chose to s...	Elizabeth M	6	394	Nov 22, 2006 by lin0606
	It has started again UPDATE (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to EVERYONE here at MIP. Your responses to my crisis was wonderful and truly did help me. My AH showed up sometime yesterday while I was at work. When my 13 year old son got home, he was asleep in the den. By the time I got home w/my 4 year old daughter,...	QOD	4	387	Nov 22, 2006 by Rita G
	Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving where ever you are (Preview) (((MIP Family))) May each of you have a blessed Thanksgiving Day where ever you are... and with whom ever you choose to spend it with. I'm thankful for this website and each of you who have been supportive and honest. I'll be with my family and lots of extended family this year. ...	twinmom2	4	376	Nov 22, 2006 by maresie2
	Does Reality ever sink in (Preview) I don't know what the hell is wrong with me......I know for no doubt my husband is gone to me...this I know....I can't seem know this in my heart......I keep trying to see a glimpse of him somewhere........I think I do....and then in a second he is cracking and drinking again...... I thought I h...	Andrea12	7	525	Nov 22, 2006 by maresie2
	A little glimmer of hope (Preview) Something seems to be happening with my A son! And....I have nothing to do with it!!! I can really see this program working big time for me. I think when I first came here I use to think that I would never get to where most of these folks were if the A was to continue drinking. I was doomed to a life of worry...	Gailey	3	367	Nov 22, 2006 by danz123
	"Optimists" (Preview) Why is it that optimists seem to be so much happier than pessimists? There is something really wonderful about optimists. They're fun to be around, aren't they? No matter how bad their situation, optimists can always find something to enjoy - usually simple things like the taste of a go...	Peggy7	3	317	Nov 22, 2006 by Maria123
	Feeling the rage again (Preview) I'm back again feeling very stressed the past few days. I don't even know what's triggering this or where to begin. But I'm not feeling well and feel a lot of negativity and want to vent. I know that is not healthy and I feel miserable afterwards. I finally got a counselor to help me...	twinkie	1	298	Nov 22, 2006 by Rita G
	Just gave in on Thanksgiving (Preview) What is it about the stupid holidays that make us feel obliged to deal with these people. Mind you if we didn't have kids together I would have said hell no! But since we do I feel obligated to let him see his kids on the holidays. I really don't want him to come and think we would have&nb...	carolinagirl	7	544	Nov 22, 2006 by laurab
	my story (Preview) It seems we have some new comers, so I thought I'd tell my story again, especially since it's changed a little. I've been on this board for 1 year, 8 months, 11 days. So here's my story: I am an only child. My mom has been an A all my life - even while she had me.From the time I was a baby to...	Lanchas	1	277	Nov 22, 2006 by Orchid Lady
	break (Preview) Home for Thanksgivng break. Really nervous about how Thanksgiving will be since my mom is crushed about the lack of family coming. Hoping to have a good break despite things. Since I'm home I'll be on here more so if anyone needs to talk or anything send me a message. Lanchas	Lanchas	0	217	Nov 22, 2006 by Lanchas
	He is back for now.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Thanks so much for being here this year. You all have wonderful support and I have learned so much here - I can't tell you how this board and you wonderful souls have saved me so many times. AH is back, he is 24 days sober and he is acting like his wonderful self again. It is...	hersh	5	340	Nov 21, 2006 by rtexas
	Lets talk about self-pity (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I need some help in dealing with my AW's self-pity. I know this is common, and I know she is not happy right now for many reasons. This weekend I just couldn't keep my mouth closed. Every conversation with her has become how much her life sucks. I feel for her...	rtexas	11	654	Nov 21, 2006 by jaja
	Do It Anyway (Preview) What a beautiful new song from Martina McBridge ------- hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if she's in program You can spend your whole life buildin' Something from nothin One storm could come and blow it all away Build it anyway You could chase a dream That seems so out of reach And you...	Maria123	1	274	Nov 21, 2006 by BlueCloud
	Frustrated (Preview) I feel the sucking of getting sucked into drama all around me. My MIL called at 12:30am to tell me her lost baby called collect last night and then emailed me at 130am saying that he told her it would cost $900 to get the truck out of impound. I called last friday and it was $465. Today I c...	carolinagirl	4	323	Nov 21, 2006 by maresie2
	Responsible Custody (Preview) (((((All)))))), I have been thinking about a concept brought up by a group member in one of my home groups. She talked one night of how we often in a relationship give people 'custody' of things. Giving someone 'custody' is not always a bad thing, in fact if it's balanced and in context of a healthy fam...	BlueCloud	0	364	Nov 21, 2006 by BlueCloud
	Just Saw my A Daughter (Preview) So I went to lunch at a local restaurant, as I was leaving in walked my A daughter & her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend ignored me - but my daughter did acknowledge me. We hugged & did the typical "Hey, how are you?, What are you doing?" She said, "I'll call you later" Geez - I felt lik...	Rita G	11	460	Nov 21, 2006 by isabela40
	Am I cold? (Preview) So, my Abf and I went to a party on saturday. When I picked him up from lunch, he already had a few drinks in him. We got to the party and he started drinking more and more and then I recognized in his face he had done coke. He started to pick a fight with a co-worker, a huge argument started and the party was ruin...	Violeta	4	420	Nov 21, 2006 by Violeta
	What constitues drunk driving????And when is it meddling?? (Preview) I have a situation and would like any ideas. My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk? That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturda...	horselover58	15	568	Nov 21, 2006 by Maria123
	Well here is my story - about to divorce a parent (Preview) Seriously. About a year ago sister and I put together a lot of pieces and well! what a whole we found. Dear old Mom, the martyr, was quite the drinking girl. As is so often the case, the hard part is separating her outrageous (drunken) behavior from her awful betrayals as a sober person. Which ca...	HereIam	5	367	Nov 21, 2006 by HereIam
	The Car (Preview) This really is not about any alanon topic that I can discover. However, I don't know who else to ask, so please forgive me for straying from the subject. My car needed an alignment. So I went to a tire store. There were 2 female customers there ahead of me. Ther...	ditto	3	253	Nov 21, 2006 by barisax
	IT HAS STARTED AGAIN!!! (Preview) HI to everyone. I haven't been here in a LONG TIME! And that is good I think. Well to me it was. That meant things were going ok w/my A husband. He has been clean and sober for 6 months and one week to the day as of last Thursday, 11/16/06. Here is the pooper.....he has been gone since th...	QOD	13	509	Nov 21, 2006 by abbyal
	break up (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm breaking up with my Abf which is long overdue. I'm upset about the fact that I love his family...his sister is the best and treats me like a sister....and his mum welcomes me all the time. I really enjoyed going to his parent's house on Sunday afternoons, and just chatting. We h...	annmarie	5	321	Nov 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	A Brief update (Preview) Thank you, to everyone for all your lovely words of encouragement. This is probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life (I thought childbirth was - boy I was way wrong ). Just wanted to let everyone know that he came home on Saturday night, I dropped our son off at...	Messy	1	206	Nov 20, 2006 by rtexas
	Really confused and feeling stupid. (Preview) I’ve been reading through the posts for a while, finding so many similarities between peoples’ stories and what I have been going through. I am hoping that these messages will give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. I have an A b/f – we’ve been seeing each other f...	Kethry	6	467	Nov 20, 2006 by Kethry
	I gave in to the fear... (Preview) ...and now I'm planning again, but terrified of failling (again). I had planned to leave my AH in September. We talked about it, I gave him a date so he'd know when he would need to start taking care of the bills on his own, etc. When it came down to signing a lease on my own place, I panicked. He said...	Katastrophe	3	354	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	HERE WE GO AGAIN (Preview) (((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))	ally	1	277	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Holidays around the a (Preview) My mom and I are the only people in the program in our family. She is here visiting from out of town and I feel obligated to be around family that is active in there drinking, however on the same side of the coin I want to go. I'm confused in my own mind. My sister who, last time my mom was here, told my m...	nwwoman	7	422	Nov 20, 2006 by nwwoman
	Proceed with caution (Preview) So the silence has finally ended and last night we hugged for the first time in 3 weeks. Now what? I haven’t asked him to stop drinking and he has not offered to. Don’t want to slip into denial but can’t live with the silence. Does anyone have any self-reflecting questions I should be...	Elizabeth M	7	288	Nov 20, 2006 by SLS
	some happy news (Preview) hi everyone,havent posted in awhile..but as some of you know i am married to an alcoholic..he is still drinking,and it is getting worse,he drinks every weekend,and drinks when he is off work during the week..i just noticed a little while ago{when i took the dogs out}that the side of my house is scorch...	bev	6	268	Nov 20, 2006 by kismetstrand
	Frustrated (Preview) Hi I'm new to the board but not to Alanon. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2yrs now. I have been married to my active A now for 3yrs. We seperated a year ago and are currently trying to work things out even though he has not quit drinking. I have learned alot thru Alano...	FairyTales	3	279	Nov 20, 2006 by kismetstrand
	I've come a long way (Preview) I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking. I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home! Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay. How can I refuse the mother of my childre...	Keoki	4	295	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Getting out of God's (my HP) way (Preview) I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of those days that I did not get out of bed for very long. Today is much better! My A son seems to be spiraling downward. My thought for this is that he does not have a job, seems to be very depressed and just doesn't know what he is going to do. Now...that is just my opi...	Gailey	2	390	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Update (Preview) Hi (((Everyone))), I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...	cedarpines	11	410	Nov 20, 2006 by aunitedway
	AHA moment from Lynn (confused) (Preview) As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...	Gailey	3	280	Nov 20, 2006 by Noni
	Wow - I think I'm getting it ... (Preview) Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...	HadEnuff	1	323	Nov 20, 2006 by Noni
	Effective Ways to Deal with ANGER (and other primal emotions)? (Preview) Dear Roomies, I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year. I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...	BlueCloud	5	479	Nov 20, 2006 by Orchid Lady
	I am new (Preview) Hi I am new, my name is noah, Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My focus has been on all the...	Noahs Ark	4	280	Nov 20, 2006 by lin0606
	daughter drunk (Preview) I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...	evey	13	504	Nov 20, 2006 by mel123
	when does Aism start in a person? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand. All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...	annmarie	5	296	Nov 20, 2006 by AndiLynn
	I helped him go, but I needed him to leave (Preview) I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...	laurab	5	378	Nov 19, 2006 by laurab
	What the???? (Preview) I was just thinking and rereading the personality question. We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it. There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me. So as far as I am concerne...	debilyn	1	262	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Surgery date!!!!! (Preview) Hi (((((((roomies))))))) I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch. Thanks for all your support Love...	shadow1	9	361	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Had a fight with my oldman this morning (Preview) Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...	Noahs Ark	3	490	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	going through the process of breaking up (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself. I am leaving this...	annmarie	2	357	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Taking care of me first (Preview) hello ((((((((friends)))))))), I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow ...	Andrea12	8	523	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Remind Me of Something Wonderful (Preview) In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...	Jill	3	377	Nov 19, 2006 by Noahs Ark
	Hope for Today reading-Nov 18 (Preview) Hi Alanoners, We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...	nmike	1	375	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Stopping the Insanity (Preview) A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...	NottaClu	4	422	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	crying the last few days (Preview) I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day... its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing.... So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...	arty	4	425	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	A poem From An Addict (Preview) Hello Dear Friends, I received this in the mail today: ME Sitting in his room is driving me wild.. I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness.. I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess. Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love.. ...	Andrea12	5	354	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	I've reached MY rock bottom (Preview) I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground. My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...	MdmDragonfly	6	504	Nov 18, 2006 by nmike
	When you love them - how do you let them go? (Preview) Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...	Messy	5	443	Nov 18, 2006 by nmike
	my growth and the gifts of the program (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...	confused	3	536	Nov 18, 2006 by carosie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.