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Update
(Preview)
Hi (((Everyone))),
I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...
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cedarpines
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11
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398
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AHA moment from Lynn (confused)
(Preview)
As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...
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Gailey
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3
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264
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Wow - I think I'm getting it ...
(Preview)
Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...
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HadEnuff
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1
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291
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Effective Ways to Deal with ANGER (and other primal emotions)?
(Preview)
Dear Roomies,
I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year.
I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...
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BlueCloud
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5
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460
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I am new
(Preview)
Hi I am new, my name is noah,
Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city
as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment
I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My
focus has been on all the...
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Noahs Ark
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4
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270
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daughter drunk
(Preview)
I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...
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evey
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13
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488
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when does Aism start in a person?
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand.
All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...
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annmarie
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5
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284
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I helped him go, but I needed him to leave
(Preview)
I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...
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laurab
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5
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364
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What the????
(Preview)
I was just thinking and rereading the personality question.
We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it.
There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me.
So as far as I am concerne...
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debilyn
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1
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251
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Surgery date!!!!!
(Preview)
Hi (((((((roomies)))))))
I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch.
Thanks for all your support
Love...
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shadow1
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9
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350
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Had a fight with my oldman this morning
(Preview)
Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...
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Noahs Ark
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3
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472
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going through the process of breaking up
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself.
I am leaving this...
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annmarie
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2
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327
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Taking care of me first
(Preview)
hello ((((((((friends)))))))),
I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow
...
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Andrea12
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8
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507
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Remind Me of Something Wonderful
(Preview)
In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...
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Jill
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3
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364
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Hope for Today reading-Nov 18
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners,
We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...
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nmike
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1
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362
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Stopping the Insanity
(Preview)
A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...
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NottaClu
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4
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400
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crying the last few days
(Preview)
I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day...
its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing....
So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...
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arty
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4
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408
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A poem From An Addict
(Preview)
Hello Dear Friends,
I received this in the mail today:
ME
Sitting in his room is driving me wild..
I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness..
I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess.
Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love..
...
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Andrea12
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5
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336
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I've reached MY rock bottom
(Preview)
I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground.
My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...
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MdmDragonfly
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6
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489
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When you love them - how do you let them go?
(Preview)
Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...
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Messy
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5
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405
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my growth and the gifts of the program
(Preview)
Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...
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confused
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3
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499
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Working on Detachment
(Preview)
This has been a really hard thing for me. I am a "natural hover-er" as is my mother, trying to control everyone and everything around her.
My AH has been made to attend Domestic Violence classes thru the court, due to a lot of stuff that happened almost 2 years ago, and most recently last D...
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Becky1
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2
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230
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Ally's Friend
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((((((((You Know Who))))))))))))))))))))))))(lol)
Ally has a good friend in the room, kinda like a soulmate, she has not saw in a while.
So this is just a wee note to say, Im thinking about you, Hoping you are doing well,And Please get in touch with me. (I is Missing You) (private...
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ally
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0
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207
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Share Positive Stories
(Preview)
Hello all,
We all know the terrible times, the pain and hopeless that living with a Alcoholic can cause.
So I was hoping we could share some of the good things that have come about by using Al-anon, this website and believing in our HP.
I for one am feeling hope, moments of joy and more securi...
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Orchid Lady
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9
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528
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Angry and confused
(Preview)
"Sometimes the choices I make are not as important as the fact that I make them." Hope for Today, pg. 341
((((Everyone))))
At my F2F meeting this was read, we were discussing the 11th step. It was an important meeting for me -- the day before I went to the Attorney's office. I was blown a...
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Lunamoth
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8
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447
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Life after A/son home from prison
(Preview)
Oh gosh, that subject line sounds so dramatic and I don't feel particularly dramatic......
I just wanted to let you all know how it is going here. I have been kinda absent, which actually has been a good thing. Not because this is a bad place, but because things have been going unbelievable we...
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doxie
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7
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359
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Useless to talk to As
(Preview)
Everyone says it is useless to talk to As. My ex even recently told me this.
I don't quite grasp this entirely.
I rarely drink, and have rarely gone overboard when I do. I've never had a blackout, so we'll not bother with that, I understand a blackout is a blackout.
Does drinking caus...
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Tryin2havfaith
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8
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437
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P.U.S.H.
(Preview)
Just received this through my e-mail--thought it was a really nice story. I hope you enjoy.
The author is unknown.
P.U.S.H.
A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him
to do, and showed...
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hudsond
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2
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298
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Update again - long
(Preview)
Well, the realtor is getting concerned that the buyers are paying all this money for inspections etc. and we won't be able to contact him to sign the papers. The closing attorney said I would have to file a lawsuit in order to get the right to sell the house without him. He said it would be long and costly. I...
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carolinagirl
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4
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373
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Dealing with ex-AH and kids
(Preview)
Hi all!
I am having a very difficult time with my ex-AH and his behavior regarding visitation with our 5 yr old daughter and the legal system. Basically to make a long story short we divorced after an extremely nasty proceeding in which he accused me of many terrible things like drug addiction...
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just me
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8
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1402
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getting better one day at a time
(Preview)
I am going to be busy all week next week working every single day. The A is trying to put a spin on how sad it is his mother is not around to cook thanksgiving for him and his brother. Every year he went off to his mother's for thanksgiving. He could care less what I did. He neve...
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maresie2
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1
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233
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starting over
(Preview)
I had an accident at work and all the red tape to get workers comp. has been a nightmare. Here it is a month later, I'm still in pain, not working, and with no income.
I was suppose to get married last month, but we had another huge arguement about my son and now we are separated. My son and I are livin...
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sld488
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3
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241
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My first one on one with my sponser
(Preview)
OK...tomorrow morning is my first meeting with my sponser outside of a f2f Alanon meeting. I am not sure what to expect. She is very easy to talk to but I am not sure I should ask her questions about her personal life or am I suppose to just let her ask me questions about mine.
I don't know whether it will be...
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Gailey
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4
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322
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Am I being unreasonable?
(Preview)
Part of my recovery includes dealing with some financial demons of the past. I have worked to get many of my past debts cleaned up one at a time as I cannot do them all at one time. I returned a call from the guarantor of my student loan which I have been making sporadic payments to. I rea...
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AlaMom
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4
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371
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What does sanity look like now?
(Preview)
(((Hello Group)))
In working with my sponser I have begun to look at sanity and what that means to me and what sanity looks like now. The only point of reference I have to gauge myself on is life before the A. My life looked very different then. I was single, had a good job, my own apar...
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twinmom2
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5
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640
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voices inside the head today
(Preview)
O.k. not like audible voices--just those that keep telling me--I am not satisfied with things in my life, I am not important, I am lonely, I am fat, this is not the way my life was suppose to end up, watch out your husband has had 3 sober months but you know things for you can't go good so you know something is...
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hudsond
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5
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322
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Working on what "I" want
(Preview)
I accepted the job I was offered and already don't like it, after working just two days. There is a lot of down time and no customer contact. I had a hard time telling my A. I didn't want to see ungrateful, because I am grateful that I am employed. I had to work this out in my mind I g...
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marmare
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2
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211
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establishing boundaries
(Preview)
Today I have practised setting boundaries, in small things, like refusing to allow people to do what they like in the work environment that I am responsible for. In some ways I am paying for it with snide jokes and bullying behaviour which I am also calling up on. For instance, what do you mean by that is w...
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maire rua
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2
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383
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Speaker Meeting
(Preview)
Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers tonight - 6:00 (CST), as I will be sharing my story of recovery at my home group meeting, again.
The person that was suppose to share reschedule to December, so I'm filling in for him tonight.
It seems that my HP has been calling me to do this severa...
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Rita G
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7
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333
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what is wrong with me?
(Preview)
my best friend had a baby on tuesday. she is nursing right now. i nursed all of my babies and i am her biggest support as far as that goes. but i have a feeling that she is not going to stick with it. i don't really care, he's not my baby and it really doesn't impact my life one way or the other. but i am so annoyed t...
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serendipity
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4
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366
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Don't want to go & need advise
(Preview)
We are only having polite conversations in my home right now. I am trying not to have any expectations and this has helped reduce my daily disappointment regarding this state of living. Because we are in this state of limbo, I do not want to go to a wedding this weekend with him. It is...
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Elizabeth M
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8
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741
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Amazing/What happens at home alone/Writing/Thinking....
(Preview)
No Title Yet!! (Sigh)
I'd like to write a book~But I'll just do this poem~About a whole lot of things~That you haven't been knowin'~Like how I feel~and what I think~If you can't change your life~I'll be gone in a blink~I've learned so much about your disease~From an Al-Anon group~On o...
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afmom03
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3
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277
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i want to go to f2f meetings but...
(Preview)
...as i read everyone elses posts ive got tears streaming down my face as i feel so devastated that i am going thru this pain in my life. and i find it extremely unfair that we all seem SOOOO caring, yet is is just one sided as our A's seem to be plain selfish.
i have my good days when i feel real...
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arty
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11
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401
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good mom, bad mom
(Preview)
I don't know when I am enabling my A son or when I'm helping as I should.
Here's where we are:
I just lost thousands because I signed a mortgage for him and his wife and they stopped paying and I sold the house for thousands less (my money)than was owed. His wife is living with her boyfriend but calling m...
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laurab
|
7
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552
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Therapy
(Preview)
The topic of therapy comes up frequently - here as well as f2f meetings. Without discussing details, I've been there done that.
One reason I am not doing it now is because I don't have a therapy goal. I think it's important to have one. Unlike the program, therapy is for a very limited time - 50 minute...
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barisax
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9
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414
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Just trying to process it all
(Preview)
Had a really great day today, for no apparent reason! Enjoyed and appreciated it just the same!
The A called and left messages twice. I called him back. Someone had told him that I had been in town all week (I was there for a few hours Mon.). I have a good idea who that was.&nbs...
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Tryin2havfaith
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2
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305
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Hi, I am new!
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new here. I've been married 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He says "functioning alcoholic". I told him this weekend the dead line is January 31, 2007 for him to stop drinking. If he doesn't stop I am seeking divorce. I have never been to Al anon, so I don't know...
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rosemary
|
10
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420
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lost in a wilderness and I can't reach out
(Preview)
I feel so terrrible today. It is as if My A son is lost in the wilderness, in a big fog and I can't reach him.
I know I am doing the right thing for me and my husband and my A son. He has plans for abandoning everything except his dog and going to Florida. He is selling his car that is...
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laurab
|
4
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425
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Too lonely for a newlywed...
(Preview)
I am new to this forum. I need help. My husband who i married August 5 has turned into a monster. I have always known that he drinks a lot. And in the past 6 months I have realized that he is an angry, crazy drunk. He makes up stuff in his head and just tries to fight with me. When he is drunk he destroys our house a...
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jenfish
|
5
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399
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feeling the guilt of breaking up
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My Abf and I are breaking up. I have a new place to live and move next week. I have no option. He has been living a crazy ahcohol and drug fuelled life recently, and I am able to take no more. I know I am doing the right thing.
I feel strong that I have finally put my plans in place. Last nigh...
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annmarie
|
7
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419
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Update upon return from DC
(Preview)
Well, I got back to the house, I really honestly don't have any friends here that I can call on to help me out. I went in first and had the kids wait in the car. I found out that he had stolen cash and a leather jacket from me. It could have been worse. He did leave some cash. I called my sponsor and then called the...
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carolinagirl
|
6
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372
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The wonderful email I got from my loving husband today
(Preview)
Look I will never love anyone like I love you, but as you said this is it, I just can't deal with what will come form now on. So I would like to arrange a time and place to see my kids for the last time. I am taking my check and going to mexico or Canada. I do not have the ability to see you with someone else or to see s...
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carolinagirl
|
8
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403
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Lost my temper with my Ason
(Preview)
I'm learning. New to Alanon. Attended 6 f2f meetings in 4 days. Then told my son that I would no longer send $, only continue to pay for school, apt, utilities. We got into it, he raved, I raved back. I know he is doing better (than before), but still not willing to work, a...
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Mom
|
8
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295
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And then there is work.
(Preview)
Well, it would be great if something went well but that is not how life works. Work sucks. I got into it with a co-worker. Our relationship resembles a bad alcoholic marriage. I think at times it is down right abusive. I thought that I went thru the proper line of authority and wouldn't you know that I got b...
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nmike
|
4
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292
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Survived the B-day...
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
Well the birthday has come and gone... nobody died. LOL
We have daily contact since she picks up our 11 yr old from school every day. We hook up so I can take him home after work. For a few weeks it was some good and some bad meetings. Now it has gotten whe...
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rtexas
|
4
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321
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Help I am blacklisted
(Preview)
Can't get into chat. Keeps disconnecting me and saying I am blacklisted. What happenened? How can that be? I don't understand what I am to do? HELP.
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lebe27
|
4
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414
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got an interview tomorrow
(Preview)
a huge part of my getting away from the A is financial. I got myself into a tremendous financial mire with him cost me thousands of dollars. I will stay in the financial mire if I don't get out I am sure of it.
I have been looking for work for a long long time. I have recently...
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maresie2
|
9
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390
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|
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Another reason for minding my own business
(Preview)
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey...
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lilms
|
3
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378
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|
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Getting too strong to watch him die
(Preview)
Hi all,
As I posted recently my hubby just got back from Alaska on Wednesday. We had a great week together. I was able to see how charming he is, how attentive he is, and remembered why it is that I am so in love with him.
Tonight he called to see when I would be home so that he could have dinner waiting. I go...
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Dolphin123
|
18
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516
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To Rosemary, who is new...
(Preview)
Hi Rosemary,
I tried clicking on your post to read it, but for some reason I kept getting an error page!
Anyway, welcome to MIP. I hope you find experience, strength and hope here. It's a great place to come home to!
Kathi
|
lmt123
|
0
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204
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