Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

QOD · QOD

I was just thinking........Ok, so I don't care any more that my AH is gone. Life seems more peaceful at home without him. The kids seem more at ease. Not that he is violent or aggressive at home....b/c he is not. Usually he is just sleeping, or watching tv. Once in a while he gets pissed b/c he fee...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

.......is it Bad, Bad Bill time? Ziggy

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Wow I had no idea how long this would get. If you wnt the cliff notes version, I highlighted in bold. This is something that has weighed on my mind from the beginning. He was clean for 10+ years when we met. Ampetamines were more of an issue for him. He left a long term relationship to be with me. He was with he...

Moon · Moon

This is a total God story that happened to me the other day that most al-anons will relate to, so I hope you can get something from it. I was driving my car one day, I had my two children in the back strapped into their carseats. I turned onto a side street and as I drove up the street a truck to my left caught m...

lebe27 · lebe27

((friends)) In last night's meeting someone said Detachment for us is like not drinking is for the A. Wow really got me thinking. A has not been drinking this time since Thanksgiving and I have been trying to detach. This has been going on for both of us for sometime with many relapses. I notice...

jewely · jewely

my grandmother used to tell me.......,' ''idle hands are the devils tools''. i am thinking today, ''uh huh she is right.'' i won't make it to face to face meeting tonight. after i finish typing this i will probably go lay down. i have spent the past few days...

babysteps · babysteps

I thought I had mastered detachment because I was doing so well emotionally. Well I guess I had detached emotionally, but I was still taking care of (controlling) everything. I took care of all the bills and the cleaning and shopping and care of our child. I was letting him doing his thing and not gettin...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Hi all...in a nutshell, my H and I have been married x 17 years, we have 3 wonderful sons ages 9,12 & 17...he dropped bomb last March saying that he could no longer handle the pressures of marriage, kids, home etc...found out 2 mos later he moved into a trailor with a female bartender that works at the...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness. --Sir John Lubbock A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the but...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, Well, with relationships it seems like they all go to hell at the same time. I know I have a part in it but hopefully my 4th step inventory will show me where I go astray. It has been a year and half since my AHsober moved out. The holidays were ok and actually fun but I just can't see us getti...

my sister · my sister

Just wanted to thankyou for those who wrote me, although not alot like I see some get for deaths, it meant a great deal to me as a new member. I dont chat room, cant write fast enough to reply (remember Im very disabled person)and cannot use my dragon speaker much right now due to only half a diaphragm. I app...

nmike · nmike

Thanks Alanoners for your responses to my down day. Sometimes I need a little jump start with perspective. In another post abbyal referred to ODAT July 14. So being the good codependent that I am and read July 16 by mistake. Boy, did that ever apply to me. Oops, then I realized that I had read the wrong pag...

Rita G · Rita G

so while i was off work i found out that our oldest daughter, Ashley is expecting again. She's about 8 wks along, not in a program of recovery, she has already lost custody of her other 2 children, 3 abortions, the father of the baby is abusive, not supporting his other children that he has with m...

Katy · Katy

My journey to happiness, it’s not something that fell into my lap complete, I had to earn it, and once I grasped the knowledge, the tools I needed to facilitate my power, my will over situations, I found just as I had become expert on self pity and control, I could learn to become an expert on happiness.Oh...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((Friends)))))))))), Alcoholism is only one of the symptoms of other underlying "issues" going on. Of late, I have been reading many of my own stories in yours and many of my friends feeling like everything is their fault. Abuse takes many forms. There's physical, emotio...

barisax · barisax

I don't hate my ex-wife. I don't wish anything bad on her, I even pray for her on occasion. I am really not involved in her life at all - I bump into her maybe twice a year while doing things with the kids, and that's about it. What's always interesting about those "bumps" i...

irish54 · irish54

Hi Family, Well, my daughter (grandaughter I've had since a baby) turned 18 yesterday. I sure have had some mixed feelings, but guess that's normal. The fact that she left my home in Dec. shortly before Christmas, as most will remember, make it a little harder to deal with in some ways.....m...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Can I throttle my parents yet? Seriously. One of the things we learn in recovery is that, if we are willing to go to any lengths and throughly practice this program, we will see results in the most dire and darkest of situations. Well, *cue Gomer Pyle* Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Mom called Satu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. -- Seneca When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow. We fail to see the options and possibilities we have. If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight c...

Katy · Katy

"Everyone Can't Be in Your Front Row" Life is a theatre - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can ac...

FairyTales · FairyTales

My AH and I have been together for 5yrs now. He is an active alcoholic and a crack addict. We have split up and gotten back together so many times that I have lost count. I know if nothing changes nothing changes. This last time, even though he is still actively drinking, I thought things would be di...

babysteps · babysteps

I just need to get this stuff off my chest so that I can be done with it. My Ah has been on a bender for the last 8 days. We work in a very deadline oriented business and he has basically just pretended he doesn't have a job. Then suddenly BOOM, he has no choice but to cram a month's worth of work in to a we...

marty · marty

this is the hard one is dealing with my self,trying to make other love me and i have no luck at it,i know i need to love my self before i can love other how do you love your self and selfesteem and self worth all come in to play do you think i be better off going to f2f meeting than on line do we have on line sponcer s...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Other post called 'He won't leave me alone' has the background details to this: I'm going out of my mind right now -I called the police on my ex and they didn't believe me and called me paranoid. My ex has been saying he wants a relationship with me still and said he had stopped and...

John · John

Okay, I tried to get this to work properly on the message board and it just rawled my nerves, so I'm going to provide a link to it, which is on our site... Turn your speakers on and enjoy my table dance for you fine folks. John (aka OP_Present) http://www.12stepforums.net/misc/babydance.html

marmare · marmare

Although I'm here almost everyday reading the post, responding to some, I haven't posted in a while and thought I should update you a bit. I am doing great, I can't tell people enough how much my counseling I had to go through and my posting here, reading here, and focusing on me has helped....

mama_nz · mama_nz

I watched a Dr Phil special last night called 'Escaping Addiction' about an alcoholic husband & wife who had 3 kids, one of whom has to be on a ventilator due to muscular disability. I was shocked and disgusted by the sheer lack of consideration for their children, and selfishness. The...

ENCOURAGEMENT NEEDED FOR NEW MEMBERS · ally

((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))) I love the atmosphere in the chatroom, I love the way everyone is like a big family. It has been a lifesaver for me, and loads of other members. Over the last few weeks I have noticed we are receiving a lot of new members. Which is brilliant. But one thing has been bothering...

Christy · Christy

Since we seem to have a lot of new members I thought some ideas about detachment might be helpful. One of the most difficult things for me to comprehend when I came to Alanon was detachment. Detachment is not just not speaking to the A about what they do or ignoring them.. It is more to do with getting i...

jewely · jewely

i am pleasantly surprised. i feel good today. physically, i think i may have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked from the impact of hitting the deer.[ something doesn't feel right in my back and neck.....ouch] but, emotionally, i am well. clear headed and greatful. thanks to all of you who...

my sister · my sister

Ive been reading your site since December. I lost the last person I loved to Alcohol ,my sister, my nephew was murdered one month before, this all happened this winter. Im not here as someone who is living with an A, she is gone now to be with God. Im criticly ill with progressive Brain illness and spinal i...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, This has been an extremely long week for me. There are so many changes at work do to the feds changing how we do business at my work. I work for an agency that has contracts with DSHS (Department of Social and Health Services) and to help TANF (Temporary Assistacne to Needy Families) participants...

wbfox58 · wbfox58

This morning I picked my Awife up from the rehab center and put her on the plane for Florida, and her recovery community. I cannot describe the joy I felt driving home. No more worrying about her relapsing, no more fear of how badly my kids are being neglected, no more lies, no more fighting no more HER....

snoopy · snoopy

As you all know, my A left me 7 months ago and is proceeding with a divorce. I do not want this, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just have one question. I have been reading about people who have stopped loving their spouse, and I'm wondering if you can ever get that love back once it is gone? Y...

DeeDee · DeeDee

(sigh) My AH is a binge drinker, and this week, I figured that it was about that time again. I was right. He makes it look like its all business-related and "necessary"....it's such a challenge to watch the denial....and stay in my happy place. I was proud that I had gotten myself to t...

lin0606 · lin0606

Someone asked in another post "what is this Plan B I keep hearing about?" and I thought that might be a good thing to talk about. For me, my Plan B's were always pretty low key and practical - if he doesn't show up to give me a ride to the dentist's office, how will I get there? - that...

debilyn · debilyn

dearest family, first I will get this off my chest, that and the hay that went down there when I fed the horses... gads I want to volunteer here very badly, but for some reason I am being forgotten. Done my best to give it to hp, I know I cannot control anyone but me. I love the powers that be ,here. It is not ju...

Wilted · Wilted

I called this morning and found two face to face AL-Anon meetings not to far from me and in the daytime. I live in a huge crime filled city in Florida and I am scared to drive around here at night and I can't depend on my AH to drive me to them for many reasons. Anyway, if I'm going to do this, I'm g...

HowToSaveALife · HowToSaveALife

I'm new here. I've read many posts, but finally today, I decided to register. I've been realizing I need help, but mostly too angry to get it. This past Christmas, I broke off an engagement with my A. He is also the father of my 4-year-old daughter. The first couple of weeks were unbea...

Serenity · Serenity

How are we suppose to work on us when our situations are not alanon related? I have health issues and family issues way different from others. They seem to not fit into the talk that is normally going on during open chat. What is the proper way to start up the conversation that is unrelated to the alcoholi...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I haven't been able to post or check in because my A is not working and sits at the computer all day. Things have not been going well. Our car needs work that isn't even going to start untill monday. It will be expensive and take at least another week. My husband drives the thing for a living, so he...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

Hi Group~ I'm so upset right now. After 2 years, I broke things off with my A. He's been spiraling and I finally had to put an end to this after getting an email at 4:15 yesterday morning telling me he was breaking up with me and he was depressed and suicidal. He text-messaged me to re...

jewely · jewely

i know now why i hit the deer........., i am not blaming anyone, but, upon reflection, i can see that i was exhausted that night. canadian guy mentioned in one of his posts about keeping things bottled up, i do that. i come from a family where you ''don't tell, don't say anything ,and m...

snoopy · snoopy

Eureka!!! I think I may have finally hit rock bottom. Yipee Kai ee MF. Thank you God!!! I have been waiting for this day for 7 months and even tho it is so painful that I wanted to die, I now realize that my AH is nothing more than a narcissistic, selfish, self centered, son of a bitch. Whew!! That felt rea...

Diva · Diva

As always, I am thinking about friends here on MIP, and I wish all of you a beautiful day today. Now, got to get back to planting my new rose bushes. Roses are such joyous flowers. They have given me pleasure all of my life. Got a Queen Elizabeth and two climbing Peace. Love to all, ..· ´¨...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah's face is red and swollen. So it's only a matter of time. This is what happend to my best friend a few months before she passed away. :( There is nothing I can do from over here. It's so hard to sit and wait for someone to die. There is no other end to this story then his death. He will not come...

Leetle · Leetle

I need a meeting. I have a three year old and no childcare, so I am at home. She is bouncing off the walls and I am in pain. Her dad is locked up. Has been there since July. It isn't the first time. I have wasted thousands of dollars on an attorney. Pay for collect calls that I can hardly afford and a...

Christy · Christy

I spent a whole lot of time complaining about my A so now that his first year of sobriety is approaching I think he deserves some Kudos. Firstly, making it for a year is huge. That in itself makes me beam with pride. That good looking sober guy is my husband! *beams* He's accomplished so much this year, mor...

Marianne · Marianne

Hello all My partner will be coming home after five months of rehab and I have no idea how things will be for us. I have so many questions and don't know where to begin. Does anyone have any advice to offer please? We have known each other 17 years but only been trying to have a relationship for two ye...

Marianne · Marianne

I was given a copy of this by a dear friend and felt so reminded of these words by my contact on this site. Thank you all for your kindness. Kindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, wh...

Fifi · Fifi

Here is a poem I just responded to a post with , and as I typed it, I felt I wanted to send it everyone.Not sure if it will align properly as I type it, but here goes. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good...You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting...

kicky · kicky

I posted about being asked to dinner by an A...and thanks to all for wonderful insight. I did have dinner with him last night. I kept my program close in my pocket. He brought his to dinner as well. We had a perfectly lovely evening, talking, comparing parenting notes, movies, etc. He talked at length...

Serenity · Serenity

I am the mother of a recoverying drugaddict/alcoholic who keeps choosing the same kind of boyfriends. She is involved in AA and is getting counseling and trying so hard to change. Yet, she keeps choosing to date the same kind of guys that hurt her and were very bad for her. Sure some say her "picker...

kicky · kicky

First and foremost, my A and I split up 4 months ago after 7 years and the decision he made NOT to go to rehab. So the other day I was shopping at Target with my kids, and I ran into this guy I knew from my 20's (20 years ago)....funny and cool, and then on the party scene in our city. He was at Target with his 2...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone))) Recently my A has thrown the word "crack" into conversation in a joking manner. It's happened serveral times over the past couple of months, and each time I thought how weird. So I resolved to ask him about it the next time it came up. Well he called last night -- which for the past 4 mo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

This is the question that has been lingering lately. When I first started out on this journey of aloneness I was DESPERATE to find someone ANYONE to fill that void of lonliness!!! Still now almost six months later I still feel guilty when I think about seeing other people. #1 I guess I'm not totally done...

Christy · Christy

Last night I watched 20/20. It was about the poorest town in America, Camden NJ. The show featured several families of children, their hopes, their dreams, their differences. One little guy tugged at my heartstrings, a 4 yr. old named Ivan. Homeless, with his Mother and little brother, he looked f...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Friends))) As I posted earlier this week my AH has been home all week with the kids because there has been no work with his company. He works on contract stuff now and its really dried up. So he's been doing as much as he can with them, trying to keep them busy, but still feeling depresse...

mama_nz · mama_nz

My ex (A) keeps calling me and asking me what the state of affairs is in our 'relationship' (we have been separated a year now). Just before New Years Eve he said he wanted to stop drinking. He said that last New Years Eve, it never happened. Nothing has changed, only the story is getting a li...

gardengal · gardengal

As it is morning for me I think I will start by reading the daily reader C2C. Give myself enough time to get ready for work, so I am not in the harried rush that I usually am. As in every employment there are those who are miserable and not pleasant to be around, always negative etc. So today I will not get enme...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If only his problems would disappear with him! (Preview) I was just thinking........Ok, so I don't care any more that my AH is gone. Life seems more peaceful at home without him. The kids seem more at ease. Not that he is violent or aggressive at home....b/c he is not. Usually he is just sleeping, or watching tv. Once in a while he gets pissed b/c he fee...	QOD	8	587	Feb 1, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Diva! Do you have knotts in your stomach? (Preview) .......is it Bad, Bad Bill time? Ziggy	ZiggyDoodles	8	773	Feb 1, 2007 by Rita G
	I think I ruined recovery for him (Preview) Wow I had no idea how long this would get. If you wnt the cliff notes version, I highlighted in bold. This is something that has weighed on my mind from the beginning. He was clean for 10+ years when we met. Ampetamines were more of an issue for him. He left a long term relationship to be with me. He was with he...	RainyJamie	11	789	Feb 1, 2007 by Moon
	Understanding step one (Preview) This is a total God story that happened to me the other day that most al-anons will relate to, so I hope you can get something from it. I was driving my car one day, I had my two children in the back strapped into their carseats. I turned onto a side street and as I drove up the street a truck to my left caught m...	Moon	6	1063	Feb 1, 2007 by Moon
	Detachment for us... (Preview) ((friends)) In last night's meeting someone said Detachment for us is like not drinking is for the A. Wow really got me thinking. A has not been drinking this time since Thanksgiving and I have been trying to detach. This has been going on for both of us for sometime with many relapses. I notice...	lebe27	3	507	Jan 31, 2007 by Karilynn
	idle hands are the devil's tools (Preview) my grandmother used to tell me.......,' ''idle hands are the devils tools''. i am thinking today, ''uh huh she is right.'' i won't make it to face to face meeting tonight. after i finish typing this i will probably go lay down. i have spent the past few days...	jewely	2	588	Jan 31, 2007 by Maria123
	I thought I had detached, but I was still enabling (Preview) I thought I had mastered detachment because I was doing so well emotionally. Well I guess I had detached emotionally, but I was still taking care of (controlling) everything. I took care of all the bills and the cleaning and shopping and care of our child. I was letting him doing his thing and not gettin...	babysteps	2	832	Jan 31, 2007 by lin0606
	Newbie Alert*** (Preview) Hi all...in a nutshell, my H and I have been married x 17 years, we have 3 wonderful sons ages 9,12 & 17...he dropped bomb last March saying that he could no longer handle the pressures of marriage, kids, home etc...found out 2 mos later he moved into a trailor with a female bartender that works at the...	kellygirl	11	806	Jan 31, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Are you the catepillar or the butterfly? (Preview) To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness. --Sir John Lubbock A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the but...	Tiger2006	1	611	Jan 31, 2007 by barisax
	Feeling a little down... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, Well, with relationships it seems like they all go to hell at the same time. I know I have a part in it but hopefully my 4th step inventory will show me where I go astray. It has been a year and half since my AHsober moved out. The holidays were ok and actually fun but I just can't see us getti...	nmike	6	523	Jan 31, 2007 by drucilla06
	the 10 of you who wrote about my sisters DEATH (Preview) Just wanted to thankyou for those who wrote me, although not alot like I see some get for deaths, it meant a great deal to me as a new member. I dont chat room, cant write fast enough to reply (remember Im very disabled person)and cannot use my dragon speaker much right now due to only half a diaphragm. I app...	my sister	15	707	Jan 31, 2007 by aunitedway
	Found some answers..... (Preview) Thanks Alanoners for your responses to my down day. Sometimes I need a little jump start with perspective. In another post abbyal referred to ODAT July 14. So being the good codependent that I am and read July 16 by mistake. Boy, did that ever apply to me. Oops, then I realized that I had read the wrong pag...	nmike	2	546	Jan 31, 2007 by rtexas
	Another Grandchild affected by the disease (Preview) so while i was off work i found out that our oldest daughter, Ashley is expecting again. She's about 8 wks along, not in a program of recovery, she has already lost custody of her other 2 children, 3 abortions, the father of the baby is abusive, not supporting his other children that he has with m...	Rita G	6	658	Jan 31, 2007 by Rita G
	Katy's Journey to find happiness! (Preview) My journey to happiness, it’s not something that fell into my lap complete, I had to earn it, and once I grasped the knowledge, the tools I needed to facilitate my power, my will over situations, I found just as I had become expert on self pity and control, I could learn to become an expert on happiness.Oh...	Katy	1	714	Jan 31, 2007 by Jerry F
	What I have learned that saved my life (Preview) ((((((((Friends)))))))))), Alcoholism is only one of the symptoms of other underlying "issues" going on. Of late, I have been reading many of my own stories in yours and many of my friends feeling like everything is their fault. Abuse takes many forms. There's physical, emotio...	Maria123	12	772	Jan 30, 2007 by Maria123
	The Extraterrestrial (Preview) I don't hate my ex-wife. I don't wish anything bad on her, I even pray for her on occasion. I am really not involved in her life at all - I bump into her maybe twice a year while doing things with the kids, and that's about it. What's always interesting about those "bumps" i...	barisax	3	516	Jan 30, 2007 by Jennifer
	Daughter turned 18 (Preview) Hi Family, Well, my daughter (grandaughter I've had since a baby) turned 18 yesterday. I sure have had some mixed feelings, but guess that's normal. The fact that she left my home in Dec. shortly before Christmas, as most will remember, make it a little harder to deal with in some ways.....m...	irish54	6	628	Jan 30, 2007 by Karilynn
	Can I throttle my parents yet? (Preview) Can I throttle my parents yet? Seriously. One of the things we learn in recovery is that, if we are willing to go to any lengths and throughly practice this program, we will see results in the most dire and darkest of situations. Well, cue Gomer Pyle Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Mom called Satu...	Tiger2006	8	672	Jan 30, 2007 by Rita G
	Got options? (Preview) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. -- Seneca When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow. We fail to see the options and possibilities we have. If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight c...	Tiger2006	2	496	Jan 30, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Think this is sooooooo nice! (Preview) "Everyone Can't Be in Your Front Row" Life is a theatre - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can ac...	Katy	0	416	Jan 30, 2007 by Katy
	I think I've lost that loving feeling (Preview) My AH and I have been together for 5yrs now. He is an active alcoholic and a crack addict. We have split up and gotten back together so many times that I have lost count. I know if nothing changes nothing changes. This last time, even though he is still actively drinking, I thought things would be di...	FairyTales	5	569	Jan 30, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Need to Vent (Preview) I just need to get this stuff off my chest so that I can be done with it. My Ah has been on a bender for the last 8 days. We work in a very deadline oriented business and he has basically just pretended he doesn't have a job. Then suddenly BOOM, he has no choice but to cram a month's worth of work in to a we...	babysteps	1	493	Jan 30, 2007 by Rita G
	dealing with marty (Preview) this is the hard one is dealing with my self,trying to make other love me and i have no luck at it,i know i need to love my self before i can love other how do you love your self and selfesteem and self worth all come in to play do you think i be better off going to f2f meeting than on line do we have on line sponcer s...	marty	6	557	Jan 30, 2007 by marty
	Am I losing it??! (Preview) Other post called 'He won't leave me alone' has the background details to this: I'm going out of my mind right now -I called the police on my ex and they didn't believe me and called me paranoid. My ex has been saying he wants a relationship with me still and said he had stopped and...	mama_nz	9	603	Jan 30, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Al-Anon Wiggle (Preview) Okay, I tried to get this to work properly on the message board and it just rawled my nerves, so I'm going to provide a link to it, which is on our site... Turn your speakers on and enjoy my table dance for you fine folks. John (aka OP_Present) http://www.12stepforums.net/misc/babydance.html	John	5	657	Jan 30, 2007 by Rita G
	Small update (Preview) Although I'm here almost everyday reading the post, responding to some, I haven't posted in a while and thought I should update you a bit. I am doing great, I can't tell people enough how much my counseling I had to go through and my posting here, reading here, and focusing on me has helped....	marmare	3	446	Jan 30, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Escaping Addiction (Preview) I watched a Dr Phil special last night called 'Escaping Addiction' about an alcoholic husband & wife who had 3 kids, one of whom has to be on a ventilator due to muscular disability. I was shocked and disgusted by the sheer lack of consideration for their children, and selfishness. The...	mama_nz	3	479	Jan 30, 2007 by Cilla
	ENCOURAGEMENT NEEDED FOR NEW MEMBERS (Preview) ((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))) I love the atmosphere in the chatroom, I love the way everyone is like a big family. It has been a lifesaver for me, and loads of other members. Over the last few weeks I have noticed we are receiving a lot of new members. Which is brilliant. But one thing has been bothering...	ally	7	714	Jan 30, 2007 by david62
	Detachment Examples? (Preview) Since we seem to have a lot of new members I thought some ideas about detachment might be helpful. One of the most difficult things for me to comprehend when I came to Alanon was detachment. Detachment is not just not speaking to the A about what they do or ignoring them.. It is more to do with getting i...	Christy	11	4755	Jan 30, 2007 by neeinil
	i am pleasantly surprised......i feel good today (Preview) i am pleasantly surprised. i feel good today. physically, i think i may have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked from the impact of hitting the deer.[ something doesn't feel right in my back and neck.....ouch] but, emotionally, i am well. clear headed and greatful. thanks to all of you who...	jewely	2	374	Jan 29, 2007 by bubbles1990
	Can I just talk. New here. (Preview) Ive been reading your site since December. I lost the last person I loved to Alcohol ,my sister, my nephew was murdered one month before, this all happened this winter. Im not here as someone who is living with an A, she is gone now to be with God. Im criticly ill with progressive Brain illness and spinal i...	my sister	11	767	Jan 29, 2007 by debilyn
	Is the food in the county jail really that good? (Preview) Hi all, This has been an extremely long week for me. There are so many changes at work do to the feds changing how we do business at my work. I work for an agency that has contracts with DSHS (Department of Social and Health Services) and to help TANF (Temporary Assistacne to Needy Families) participants...	Dolphin123	8	666	Jan 29, 2007 by nmike
	Cheering an ending and a beginning (Preview) This morning I picked my Awife up from the rehab center and put her on the plane for Florida, and her recovery community. I cannot describe the joy I felt driving home. No more worrying about her relapsing, no more fear of how badly my kids are being neglected, no more lies, no more fighting no more HER....	wbfox58	5	646	Jan 29, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	is it possible to ever get the love back again? (Preview) As you all know, my A left me 7 months ago and is proceeding with a divorce. I do not want this, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just have one question. I have been reading about people who have stopped loving their spouse, and I'm wondering if you can ever get that love back once it is gone? Y...	snoopy	6	605	Jan 29, 2007 by mama_nz
	not doing SOMETHING right (Preview) (sigh) My AH is a binge drinker, and this week, I figured that it was about that time again. I was right. He makes it look like its all business-related and "necessary"....it's such a challenge to watch the denial....and stay in my happy place. I was proud that I had gotten myself to t...	DeeDee	7	546	Jan 29, 2007 by DeeDee
	Plan B (Preview) Someone asked in another post "what is this Plan B I keep hearing about?" and I thought that might be a good thing to talk about. For me, my Plan B's were always pretty low key and practical - if he doesn't show up to give me a ride to the dentist's office, how will I get there? - that...	lin0606	4	846	Jan 29, 2007 by tea2
	update and miss you guys (Preview) dearest family, first I will get this off my chest, that and the hay that went down there when I fed the horses... gads I want to volunteer here very badly, but for some reason I am being forgotten. Done my best to give it to hp, I know I cannot control anyone but me. I love the powers that be ,here. It is not ju...	debilyn	6	575	Jan 29, 2007 by hersh
	Give me Courage God! (Preview) I called this morning and found two face to face AL-Anon meetings not to far from me and in the daytime. I live in a huge crime filled city in Florida and I am scared to drive around here at night and I can't depend on my AH to drive me to them for many reasons. Anyway, if I'm going to do this, I'm g...	Wilted	6	618	Jan 29, 2007 by Wilted
	Learning to trust? (Preview) I'm new here. I've read many posts, but finally today, I decided to register. I've been realizing I need help, but mostly too angry to get it. This past Christmas, I broke off an engagement with my A. He is also the father of my 4-year-old daughter. The first couple of weeks were unbea...	HowToSaveALife	11	682	Jan 29, 2007 by AndiLynn
	How are we suppose to work on us.... (Preview) How are we suppose to work on us when our situations are not alanon related? I have health issues and family issues way different from others. They seem to not fit into the talk that is normally going on during open chat. What is the proper way to start up the conversation that is unrelated to the alcoholi...	Serenity	7	626	Jan 29, 2007 by abbyal
	Life kinda sucks right now (Preview) I haven't been able to post or check in because my A is not working and sits at the computer all day. Things have not been going well. Our car needs work that isn't even going to start untill monday. It will be expensive and take at least another week. My husband drives the thing for a living, so he...	RainyJamie	7	2470	Jan 28, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Breaking it Off (Preview) Hi Group~ I'm so upset right now. After 2 years, I broke things off with my A. He's been spiraling and I finally had to put an end to this after getting an email at 4:15 yesterday morning telling me he was breaking up with me and he was depressed and suicidal. He text-messaged me to re...	SerenityGirl	5	494	Jan 28, 2007 by Leetle
	i know now why i hit the deer....... (Preview) i know now why i hit the deer........., i am not blaming anyone, but, upon reflection, i can see that i was exhausted that night. canadian guy mentioned in one of his posts about keeping things bottled up, i do that. i come from a family where you ''don't tell, don't say anything ,and m...	jewely	7	711	Jan 28, 2007 by jewely
	when your husband sleeps with the town whore (Preview) Eureka!!! I think I may have finally hit rock bottom. Yipee Kai ee MF. Thank you God!!! I have been waiting for this day for 7 months and even tho it is so painful that I wanted to die, I now realize that my AH is nothing more than a narcissistic, selfish, self centered, son of a bitch. Whew!! That felt rea...	snoopy	8	5067	Jan 28, 2007 by bubbles1990
	It's a beautiful day in SA (Preview) As always, I am thinking about friends here on MIP, and I wish all of you a beautiful day today. Now, got to get back to planting my new rose bushes. Roses are such joyous flowers. They have given me pleasure all of my life. Got a Queen Elizabeth and two climbing Peace. Love to all, ..· ´¨...	Diva	7	660	Jan 28, 2007 by bubbles1990
	He'll be dead within a few months. I've seen it before. (Preview) My ah's face is red and swollen. So it's only a matter of time. This is what happend to my best friend a few months before she passed away. :( There is nothing I can do from over here. It's so hard to sit and wait for someone to die. There is no other end to this story then his death. He will not come...	Friendofyours	7	704	Jan 28, 2007 by shrinkingviolet
	help (Preview) I need a meeting. I have a three year old and no childcare, so I am at home. She is bouncing off the walls and I am in pain. Her dad is locked up. Has been there since July. It isn't the first time. I have wasted thousands of dollars on an attorney. Pay for collect calls that I can hardly afford and a...	Leetle	9	720	Jan 28, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Hubby's journey.. (Preview) I spent a whole lot of time complaining about my A so now that his first year of sobriety is approaching I think he deserves some Kudos. Firstly, making it for a year is huge. That in itself makes me beam with pride. That good looking sober guy is my husband! beams He's accomplished so much this year, mor...	Christy	18	736	Jan 28, 2007 by AndiLynn
	After five months of rehab now what will happen? (Preview) Hello all My partner will be coming home after five months of rehab and I have no idea how things will be for us. I have so many questions and don't know where to begin. Does anyone have any advice to offer please? We have known each other 17 years but only been trying to have a relationship for two ye...	Marianne	9	726	Jan 28, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Kindness (a poem I am reminded of by my contact here) (Preview) I was given a copy of this by a dear friend and felt so reminded of these words by my contact on this site. Thank you all for your kindness. Kindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, wh...	Marianne	1	472	Jan 28, 2007 by Fifi
	wild geese (Preview) Here is a poem I just responded to a post with , and as I typed it, I felt I wanted to send it everyone.Not sure if it will align properly as I type it, but here goes. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good...You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting...	Fifi	3	493	Jan 28, 2007 by Karilynn
	Went on a date with an A in AA (Preview) I posted about being asked to dinner by an A...and thanks to all for wonderful insight. I did have dinner with him last night. I kept my program close in my pocket. He brought his to dinner as well. We had a perfectly lovely evening, talking, comparing parenting notes, movies, etc. He talked at length...	kicky	2	575	Jan 28, 2007 by Karilynn
	Why do alcoholics keep choosing same kind of people? (Preview) I am the mother of a recoverying drugaddict/alcoholic who keeps choosing the same kind of boyfriends. She is involved in AA and is getting counseling and trying so hard to change. Yet, she keeps choosing to date the same kind of guys that hurt her and were very bad for her. Sure some say her "picker...	Serenity	7	943	Jan 28, 2007 by Serenity
	Anyone ever date an A who is working a program? (Preview) First and foremost, my A and I split up 4 months ago after 7 years and the decision he made NOT to go to rehab. So the other day I was shopping at Target with my kids, and I ran into this guy I knew from my 20's (20 years ago)....funny and cool, and then on the party scene in our city. He was at Target with his 2...	kicky	9	697	Jan 27, 2007 by kicky
	Crack??? what are the signs?? (Preview) (((Everyone))) Recently my A has thrown the word "crack" into conversation in a joking manner. It's happened serveral times over the past couple of months, and each time I thought how weird. So I resolved to ask him about it the next time it came up. Well he called last night -- which for the past 4 mo...	Lunamoth	13	699	Jan 27, 2007 by Andrea12
	Will I ever feel ready to move on? (Preview) This is the question that has been lingering lately. When I first started out on this journey of aloneness I was DESPERATE to find someone ANYONE to fill that void of lonliness!!! Still now almost six months later I still feel guilty when I think about seeing other people. #1 I guess I'm not totally done...	carolinagirl	6	701	Jan 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	20/20 (Preview) Last night I watched 20/20. It was about the poorest town in America, Camden NJ. The show featured several families of children, their hopes, their dreams, their differences. One little guy tugged at my heartstrings, a 4 yr. old named Ivan. Homeless, with his Mother and little brother, he looked f...	Christy	4	589	Jan 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	Staying Peaceful and Serene (Preview) (((Hello MIP Friends))) As I posted earlier this week my AH has been home all week with the kids because there has been no work with his company. He works on contract stuff now and its really dried up. So he's been doing as much as he can with them, trying to keep them busy, but still feeling depresse...	twinmom2	4	720	Jan 27, 2007 by sissy
	He won't leave me alone (Preview) My ex (A) keeps calling me and asking me what the state of affairs is in our 'relationship' (we have been separated a year now). Just before New Years Eve he said he wanted to stop drinking. He said that last New Years Eve, it never happened. Nothing has changed, only the story is getting a li...	mama_nz	11	655	Jan 27, 2007 by mama_nz
	What choices can YOU make today that will help YOU feel serene? (Preview) As it is morning for me I think I will start by reading the daily reader C2C. Give myself enough time to get ready for work, so I am not in the harried rush that I usually am. As in every employment there are those who are miserable and not pleasant to be around, always negative etc. So today I will not get enme...	gardengal	4	524	Jan 27, 2007 by Fifi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.