The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I know that my posts are very confusing sometimes, probably because I am confused so much all the time.
I think this one begins with me. I am starting to see that by not naggin about the A's drinking he has more time to think about it himself.
sometimes I do slip and say things he has done that has hurt me while drinking...
I have more on my plate to deal with on my own than to concern myself so much with his problem. I have many problems of my own.
I have an appointment with a new doc to try to help me get my psych meds straight again. I am in need of a "tune up" so-to-speak. Being PTSD, Bipolar, Borderline personality, etc, I have rapid mood cycles and can sometimes be a danger to myself and others.
I tried to go inpatient last Friday to get my meds straight. Went in with bad attitude because this was not my choice place to go to. In this area they have a low rep. I was treated very badly, and ended up taking a cab home hours later. I really don't want to go into all the details because it was really intensely hurtful to me, but as I said, I am seeing a new doc Wed. morning.
Please pray I can keep it together long enough to get there and have him try to help me. An pray that I am willing to allow the help.
I am going thru a lot right now, and I am glad that the chaos has subsided for now. Just for today, I will try to remain calm.
My A and I have been doing a lot of talking over the past couple of days, he stayed home to make sure I was all right. I know this man really loves me.
I also know he is seriously thinking about giving up the bottle.
He cannot read but I read alanon and AA stuff to him. He will listen to me read him anything, most anytime we are alone together I don't get into it with anyone else in the room.
I don't do well with very many people around me all the time so we do not have very many callers. I get very upset when someone shows up sometimes, and if I just cannot deal with having anyone else around I tell them it was nice of them to stop by but they need to move on because I am not up to visitors. I have to do this for my own sanity.
I was sick over the weekend with the stomach flu so I am now trying to take it just as easy as I can. I am always dealing with something medical going on.
Also pray for me because I have to have surgery very soon as well--most likely a hysterectomy.
Can't write anymore. feel that foggy feeling and I need to sit back and rest for a while.
All of you I love and please take care
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
I have a phrase this week that I keep using. "Life Suck's".(lol maybe Im getting It from all you Americans). But hey It Is so true. I understand some of what you are feeling, and I am thinking of you.
Things do get easier In this Programme Hippi, Not all at the one time. I have a friend In here and we both want It all to work "Right now", (lol). If only. But I also keep hearing "Life Is what you make It", so don't despair, when you have some more tools of this programme, "YOU", can make It what you want.
Well, I was pretty close to have guessed Irish and then you are Scottish. I had a feeling it was one or the other. You are a trip!
Do you like Celtic Music? I love it. I also love a lot of Celtic stuff. Sometimes when I write I still feel like I am in highschool and here I am 36! lol.
We are gonna be ok. We deserve happiness and peace.
Stay cool and I have you in my thoughts.
PM or email me anytime if you want to talk. YOu have any kids?
Prayers for you from me. One time some of us tried to get a friend admitted for overdosing on sleeping pills. Her psychiatrist would not admit her! He said what she took was not enough to kill her! I couldn't believe it. When she was not so groggy she got suicidal and we ended up calling the police. They only kept her 24 hours! I understand with more examples of that how that system operates at times. Wishing you all the best with your upcoming tune-up. fluffy
