Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm just feeling a bit lost and sad today. Just need to vent and I know you'll all understand. I broke up from my Abf at Christmas. I had too. I couldn't cope with it at all. But I love him and I miss him so much. I try to fill my time, be busy, but I can't ignore the void. Is this the...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

I first found Al-Anon in 1991, that's when I attended my very first meeting. All I did was cry couldn't do anything else, but went home feeling alot better for going. I attended a few more meetings during that year, then did the silly thing by never going back. Although I'm glad to say I'...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I have been reading ya'll's advice (starting to fit in here...) I have a restraining order that is good thru the end of this month that I got from November when he broke into my house. The situation has been that we have seen eachother and he has come over to visit the kids and I have gone to s...

Wilted · Wilted

I just finished reading this book by the Al-Anon Family Groups and for me personally this book has been a gift of wisdom and discernment for many of the "dilemmas" in my marriage to an A. I was not sure that AL-Anon would be of help to me personally but this program really is helping me to focus o...

MeMyselfandI · MeMyselfandI

Hi all its Debs My mom sent this to me in my email and i thought maybe y'all would like to read it. It feels good to focus on the positive things in our life .. lets not forget our blessings:) What Happens in Heaven I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-...

Diva · Diva

I prefer to effect my recovery in the way I see works best for me. If I sometimes do not adhere unerringly and unbendingly to the concepts, steps, and traditions...well what can I say....I am not a cookie cutter. I firmly believe that we all must take from AlAnon what we need. I further believe there i...

Rita G · Rita G

When I entered recovery, I had no idea what was the definition of "boundary" then to try to set one with the A's & other people in my life????? - I couldn't fathom how that was going to happen. But it has & it is still happening - some areas are easier than others, some me &...

RoseX · RoseX

I'm a newbie to the group, but not a newbie to the messed up life I've had with my AH. God, I pray I'm not as messed up in the head as he is. I'm married to an educated AH with some issues from childhood. Had I known how messed up he was about his childhood, I would not have married him. He w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I went today to get a copy of the police report and it said basically nothing so I decided to stop by the motel he was arrested at. The girl talked THANK GOD and said that a girl had come running in to the lobby in her tshirt and underwear hysterical saying somone had just raped her (my A) and he was arreste...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Alanon is an old program, and proven to be helpful to many. We must be careful not to change its message to suit our own purposes or according to what we think at the time. I know it is difficult, so many of us want SO much to help another, we want so much to help them stop hurting. A few months ago, I read a pa...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hello everyone, I read often and learn alot from this board. I am struggling with a decision. My AH has been in and out of sobriety for 2 years. Really mostly in but the outs are devastating. It seems he overdrank for many years but there were no consequences and now he's mostly sober but one binge-...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi Everyone)))) Well I have an update and questions also. Yesterday, sober AH was given 6 months in jail for his DUI - to begin in April this year. Hopefully for our financial sake he will get work release. Things are better of course because he is sober, but at times my anger will crop up, the hurt...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Background... A's mother was also A and in recovery for 20+ years. She still lies and is VERY manipulative. Always the martyr... I have always helped everyone and now noone will help me... She was also my best friend for many years. Situation: Last night a friend of their family (who I have met o...

maresie · maresie

I am going on an interview tomorrow. The A is his normal pre paying the rent funk. I really do believe he wants a Mother. He does not want to be responsible on any level. I am just going to steer clear of him for a few days. He now has a whole long pattern of pre rent paying tantrums and funk. Last night he dem...

Riley · Riley

Last Saturday I attended one of my favorite alanon meetings and had coffee with people afterwards. I used to say hi to members after, but bolt home to be with A. I have tried to to connect to other "people", parents at my daughters school...only to find addicts who wanted someone to cling to....

Gailey · Gailey

Well, it seems I have been trying to keep myself in denial about a situation. I think I am not there anymore. My younger son is an A also. I would not call him an A before but I will now. I wouldn't call him an A because he could go for weeks without drinking and then tie one on for an entire weekend. After re...

jewely · jewely

friends, as i was reading over tiger2006 reply to my post '' i was just sitting here.........''. i heard the words, ''yes, but it is better than being beat'' in my head. that is what i used to tell myself concerning my relationship with my husband. when i met him year...

gimmpy · gimmpy

Any other people pleasers here? It is really starting to annoy me, I say I won't do this but there I go again. I'm sure it is all about insecurity, and fear and all that good stuff. When it hapens at work, I feel like such a looser. I've done a forth step in AA, but have not looked at it from this s...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Maybe you have heard these before, but I will share these from a church marquee sign in a nearby town. Make your To-Do list, then give God the eraser. Tell God your plans for today. He needs a laugh.

davidssibling · davidssibling

It me, Eve..gotta learn how to change name from davidssibling to Eve anyway I love MIP room, not the room, its the people who make the room. Only thing is I work nights, so often have to leave in middle of meeting. Was hoping to find a room with different hours. I found another room. First and only time I got...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Well I asked for it .... and now the meeting is set. I guess my HP isn't really concerned with my financial problems since nothing happened today about that. What did happen .. my inquiries into returning to school were answered. I have an appointment set to meet with a counselor. I'm a little...

Wilted · Wilted

There's so much anger and resentment in me towards my AH....I don't want it to be there but I don't know how to let go of it. I know all that I'm feeling is not just towards my AH, but also my abusive ex. I mentioned before that I was married for 23 years to my ex and most of those years he was...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have been in a weird funk the past few weeks. Yesterday I really didn't want to go to my F2F, but I just kinda got in the car anyway. Of course, I heard things from people that I really needed and felt good about being there. This morning I read this in ODAT " .... that I may l...

kissers · kissers

I posted before about my pending layoff. They only employed me while they needed the help. Once the work was complete I was given notice along with a dozen others. I've been seeing new faces at work too. Apparently they do this once a year. It reminded me of how the A treated me. He used me until he was f...

serenity62 · Feb 7, 2007 by Moon

Hi alanoners, just something posted on another board, thought you would like to read it, interesting.................. Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: Broken Dreams I received this in a meditation this morning and wanted to share it coz it's really good!! Broken Dre...

jewely · jewely

she said she would call. she didn't call. i don't know wether she needs me to watch baby tomorrow or not. i turned the phone off at ten p.m. it is so hard for me not to call......., '' is everything all right? does she need me tomorrow? is she out with her friends, if so, where is baby? did s...

ally · ally

Just had one of the worst days of my life. My friend and I had become very close the last few months. Moved the friendship upto another level. So we were very intimate. I was very happy. I had feelings for him, I love him, have done for a long time. We ended the relationship a few weeks ago, he said he felt guil...

Gailey · Gailey

you will see it at the top of your page by your name

kicky · kicky

So I haven't seen my previous A bf in weeks...I ended a 7 year relationship because I just wanted to focus on me and my kids rather than the antics of alcoholism. After an encounter at Target...go figure...Last week my post told about a date I went on with an man I have known for years . I didn't k...

suzyque2 · suzyque2

I have been married to the same ah for 26 years, but recently i was dx with a chronic disabling disease. I have been given tranqulizers and pain medication to help me get through the rough spots. Last night i caught him again taking my meds and at higher than recomended doses while his was so drunk. I ca...

Serenity · Serenity

MY brother stopped comminicating with his entire family 5 years ago with no reason at all. This includes the extended family too. After my parents hadn't heard from him and no phone calls were accepted along with returned mail, they decided to call the police in Houston. The police did a "p...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) One of the most Important things in my life has always been "TRUST". I have never had much of it. I have always had so many insecurities, believing I was different from everyone else. I had this label on me, I could not be normal. Etc..... So when I joined Al-...

QOD · QOD

I turned in my questionaire paperwork yesterday to obtain a separation from my AH. They told me it could take 2-3 weeks to get the formal ones back. I was like "Whoa!" I didn't want to wait that long. Turns out I didn't have to. they called me this morning and told me they were read...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((SHAWN))))))))))))))))))) Thanks for your reply to my post.....(trust in al-anon) I would just like to say to you. You have been a good friend to me, since you joined this room. We can share things with eachother, private things. And we have trust both ways. I don't like to see my...

AloneinNH · AloneinNH

I have been married to my husband for 28 years. His alcohol abuse has always been a big problem for me. After all these years of him treating me like crap I am filing for divorce. My question to you is, How do I find myself again? For years I became the person who made the least amount of waves so he wouldn...

jaja · jaja

It is 2 weeks ago tonight that my A ended that 11 day drinking binge he went on. Of course that's not the first long binge he's ever been on and I have watched the progressiveness of the disease over the years. The longest he ever stayed sober was for 3 yrs. and when he picked up again (about...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have been working super hard on the resentment issue in the last few months. I feel like I've come a long way on it. Nevertheless I had a lot of denial about how bad I've been with it. I've also been in denial about what I looked like and was like around others when I was totally consumed with a...

serendipity · serendipity

my father's friend, the co-excutor on his will, the one who has been living in his house, the one who i have been trusting unconditionally to handle the finances of the estate......is a crack addict! i knew he was alcoholic and i dropped him off to rehab 2 weeks ago. i was at the house taking care of th...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone))))) We buried my mother today, it is her birthday. This has been an incredible week -- there just aren't the words to express the emotions. We postponed everything to round up my other siblings (there are four of us) One of my brothers, who teaches in China, that I haven't se...

maresie2 · maresie2

For some reason I can move heaven and earth for the A and everyone else and simple acts of caring for myself seem fraught with obstacles I can't overcome. Ask me to do something for someone else I can move through any kind of red tape. When it comes to myself however I am always getting detoured. My t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I know this is obvious and I actually accepted alcoholism as a disease along time ago, I just have a hard time applying it to him. He has hep C and cancer. I know that those are diseases and he suffers from them. Funny, they don't really come up very much. Anyway, doesn't he choose to drink? Last ni...

ShelBell · ShelBell

StressA lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold...

Rita G · Rita G

So, in the last week or so, i have read several post here & on another site with people struggling about feeling guilt about why their A's drank or use - feeling some responsibility for that & some of the other behaviors- some of my friends from my f2f meeting were also talking about this - th...

QOD · QOD

I am in a strange mood this morning. I took my separation questionaire to my lawyer yesterday to have them officially drafted for signing. It was a weird feeling. Good but bad. Ya know. Like I am putting an end to an era. My first love - my high school love - my marriage to the only man I have ever been wi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A is still in jail, been there since the 1st. Pretty sad when there's not a soul in the world who will give you $100 and vouch for you. Job was lost yesterday (he can't even get anyone to pick up his check and bail him out with his own money). MIL called to ask me to do it and I said no so now she's...

sharky · sharky

Looking for some practical info. AH got a DUI a few weeks ago; our auto insurance agent is now trying to get ahold of him. I"m guessing they're going to cancel our insurance, or at least raise the rates. I don't give a flip about AH's coverage at this point, but I really need to have af...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))) I’m in some desperate need of ES&H. For those of you that don’t know I live with my active AH. On the weekends usually in the mornings, while sober he will go into a fit of rage. It always starts with the kids not doing what they are supposed to do and then it goes on f...

serendipity · serendipity

thanks so much for your replies to my last post. the kindness and understanding flow right into me and give me new thoughts to think. i'm scared. i guess that is what it's boiling down to for me. i am seeing so much fear in myself trying to strike out and do this "live my own life" thing...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more. --Mark Twain "Last night I asked for help, but...

hudsond · hudsond

Life is going good. Why do I feel so uneasy? My ah has been sober for almost 6 months. He is very active in his program-going to 10-12 meetings a week, talking to his sponsor almost every night, has others calling him and is talking to them, listening to speaker tapes at home, working his steps, yada, y...

QOD · QOD

So I didn't really know what topic to use to describe this post......it is just laughable to me. Of course, I may just be a bit hysterical over it all. On Friday when I got home from work, there was a message from this guy that my AH has been trying to get a job with for the last 2-1/2 months. He had taken...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Ive had a prayer answered.... My brother is now in rehab. Ive prayed for some sort of help for one of my family memebers. Im so pleased with the prayer answered. My Mom is not very happy with me. I told her I couldnt fix the situation. She got mad at me and pretty much called me heartless. I told My Mom I did lov...

davidssibling · davidssibling

Thank you for responding to me five days ago,,,,,,,, oh how I needed to talk to someone, how lonely, frusterated, scared I was. I couldn't send back replys, as I was not familuar with this setup of IMs, and stuff,,,,,,, I'm still learning. I just want to let you know, I found my way into the room,...

Diva · Diva

The youthful, tanned body has become gorgeously mature. He's tall, and straight, and proud as a peacock. The blond, curly hair has become a rich silver mass of gentle curls hanging down his forehead and into his eyes. The bedroom blue eyes are even more knowing and twinkling. The badness ha...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Tomorrow one year ago my now AH and I split up. Everything moved so quickly. My AH was drinking very heavily then. I was a mess. I was frustrated beyond belief and my life seemed to be surrounded by chaos, anger, resentment, manipulation, constant bickering. We both had had eno...

QOD · QOD

My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.

kellygirl · kellygirl

I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...

kellygirl · kellygirl

This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie

-- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	this lonliness (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm just feeling a bit lost and sad today. Just need to vent and I know you'll all understand. I broke up from my Abf at Christmas. I had too. I couldn't cope with it at all. But I love him and I miss him so much. I try to fill my time, be busy, but I can't ignore the void. Is this the...	annmarie	6	325	Feb 9, 2007 by maresie2
	Glad to be back! (Preview) I first found Al-Anon in 1991, that's when I attended my very first meeting. All I did was cry couldn't do anything else, but went home feeling alot better for going. I attended a few more meetings during that year, then did the silly thing by never going back. Although I'm glad to say I'...	Barbs45	4	288	Feb 9, 2007 by aunitedway
	To serve or not to serve??? That is the question. (Preview) Ok so I have been reading ya'll's advice (starting to fit in here...) I have a restraining order that is good thru the end of this month that I got from November when he broke into my house. The situation has been that we have seen eachother and he has come over to visit the kids and I have gone to s...	carolinagirl	8	582	Feb 9, 2007 by emma
	The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage (Preview) I just finished reading this book by the Al-Anon Family Groups and for me personally this book has been a gift of wisdom and discernment for many of the "dilemmas" in my marriage to an A. I was not sure that AL-Anon would be of help to me personally but this program really is helping me to focus o...	Wilted	4	495	Feb 9, 2007 by Moon
	Reasons to be Greatful (Preview) Hi all its Debs My mom sent this to me in my email and i thought maybe y'all would like to read it. It feels good to focus on the positive things in our life .. lets not forget our blessings:) What Happens in Heaven I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-...	MeMyselfandI	1	773	Feb 9, 2007 by Gailey
	Excuse me, all of you, for not being a proper AlAnoner. (Preview) I prefer to effect my recovery in the way I see works best for me. If I sometimes do not adhere unerringly and unbendingly to the concepts, steps, and traditions...well what can I say....I am not a cookie cutter. I firmly believe that we all must take from AlAnon what we need. I further believe there i...	Diva	17	792	Feb 9, 2007 by kitty
	Boundary Setting Sentences (Preview) When I entered recovery, I had no idea what was the definition of "boundary" then to try to set one with the A's & other people in my life????? - I couldn't fathom how that was going to happen. But it has & it is still happening - some areas are easier than others, some me &...	Rita G	8	1632	Feb 9, 2007 by Jerry F
	Married to an AH and soooo confused! (Preview) I'm a newbie to the group, but not a newbie to the messed up life I've had with my AH. God, I pray I'm not as messed up in the head as he is. I'm married to an educated AH with some issues from childhood. Had I known how messed up he was about his childhood, I would not have married him. He w...	RoseX	6	524	Feb 9, 2007 by Jerry F
	The Plot Thickens (Preview) So I went today to get a copy of the police report and it said basically nothing so I decided to stop by the motel he was arrested at. The girl talked THANK GOD and said that a girl had come running in to the lobby in her tshirt and underwear hysterical saying somone had just raped her (my A) and he was arreste...	carolinagirl	7	571	Feb 9, 2007 by gardengal
	alanon should be spoken here (Preview) Alanon is an old program, and proven to be helpful to many. We must be careful not to change its message to suit our own purposes or according to what we think at the time. I know it is difficult, so many of us want SO much to help another, we want so much to help them stop hurting. A few months ago, I read a pa...	Alanoner	17	1535	Feb 8, 2007 by bobump
	in and out of sobriety (Preview) Hello everyone, I read often and learn alot from this board. I am struggling with a decision. My AH has been in and out of sobriety for 2 years. Really mostly in but the outs are devastating. It seems he overdrank for many years but there were no consequences and now he's mostly sober but one binge-...	mom to 2	7	524	Feb 8, 2007 by Jen
	Jail time and communication.... (Preview) (((Hi Everyone)))) Well I have an update and questions also. Yesterday, sober AH was given 6 months in jail for his DUI - to begin in April this year. Hopefully for our financial sake he will get work release. Things are better of course because he is sober, but at times my anger will crop up, the hurt...	hersh	5	583	Feb 8, 2007 by lin0606
	How do I deal with his mother?????? (Preview) Background... A's mother was also A and in recovery for 20+ years. She still lies and is VERY manipulative. Always the martyr... I have always helped everyone and now noone will help me... She was also my best friend for many years. Situation: Last night a friend of their family (who I have met o...	carolinagirl	6	546	Feb 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Progress not perfection (Preview) I am going on an interview tomorrow. The A is his normal pre paying the rent funk. I really do believe he wants a Mother. He does not want to be responsible on any level. I am just going to steer clear of him for a few days. He now has a whole long pattern of pre rent paying tantrums and funk. Last night he dem...	maresie	4	444	Feb 8, 2007 by aunitedway
	Doing Things for ME! (Preview) Last Saturday I attended one of my favorite alanon meetings and had coffee with people afterwards. I used to say hi to members after, but bolt home to be with A. I have tried to to connect to other "people", parents at my daughters school...only to find addicts who wanted someone to cling to....	Riley	4	420	Feb 8, 2007 by maresie
	Another..........here we go again!!! (Preview) Well, it seems I have been trying to keep myself in denial about a situation. I think I am not there anymore. My younger son is an A also. I would not call him an A before but I will now. I wouldn't call him an A because he could go for weeks without drinking and then tie one on for an entire weekend. After re...	Gailey	3	494	Feb 8, 2007 by hersh
	''yes,but it is better than being beat.'' (Preview) friends, as i was reading over tiger2006 reply to my post '' i was just sitting here.........''. i heard the words, ''yes, but it is better than being beat'' in my head. that is what i used to tell myself concerning my relationship with my husband. when i met him year...	jewely	3	610	Feb 8, 2007 by maresie
	I'm such a people pleaser..drives me crazy (Preview) Any other people pleasers here? It is really starting to annoy me, I say I won't do this but there I go again. I'm sure it is all about insecurity, and fear and all that good stuff. When it hapens at work, I feel like such a looser. I've done a forth step in AA, but have not looked at it from this s...	gimmpy	6	575	Feb 8, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A couple quotes for Today (Preview) Maybe you have heard these before, but I will share these from a church marquee sign in a nearby town. Make your To-Do list, then give God the eraser. Tell God your plans for today. He needs a laugh.	wallsal55	2	351	Feb 8, 2007 by Karilynn
	Kinda Funny (Preview) It me, Eve..gotta learn how to change name from davidssibling to Eve anyway I love MIP room, not the room, its the people who make the room. Only thing is I work nights, so often have to leave in middle of meeting. Was hoping to find a room with different hours. I found another room. First and only time I got...	davidssibling	7	452	Feb 8, 2007 by davidssibling
	HP thinks I can (Preview) Well I asked for it .... and now the meeting is set. I guess my HP isn't really concerned with my financial problems since nothing happened today about that. What did happen .. my inquiries into returning to school were answered. I have an appointment set to meet with a counselor. I'm a little...	Jennifer	5	493	Feb 8, 2007 by aunitedway
	How do you let go of the anger and resentment? (Preview) There's so much anger and resentment in me towards my AH....I don't want it to be there but I don't know how to let go of it. I know all that I'm feeling is not just towards my AH, but also my abusive ex. I mentioned before that I was married for 23 years to my ex and most of those years he was...	Wilted	6	432	Feb 8, 2007 by CJ
	... That I may leave nothing undone... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have been in a weird funk the past few weeks. Yesterday I really didn't want to go to my F2F, but I just kinda got in the car anyway. Of course, I heard things from people that I really needed and felt good about being there. This morning I read this in ODAT " .... that I may l...	rtexas	6	541	Feb 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	My job will be ending soon (Preview) I posted before about my pending layoff. They only employed me while they needed the help. Once the work was complete I was given notice along with a dozen others. I've been seeing new faces at work too. Apparently they do this once a year. It reminded me of how the A treated me. He used me until he was f...	kissers	2	375	Feb 7, 2007 by evey
	good reading !!! (Preview) Hi alanoners, just something posted on another board, thought you would like to read it, interesting.................. Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: Broken Dreams I received this in a meditation this morning and wanted to share it coz it's really good!! Broken Dre...	serenity62	3	330	Feb 7, 2007 by Moon
	she didn't call........... (Preview) she said she would call. she didn't call. i don't know wether she needs me to watch baby tomorrow or not. i turned the phone off at ten p.m. it is so hard for me not to call......., '' is everything all right? does she need me tomorrow? is she out with her friends, if so, where is baby? did s...	jewely	7	438	Feb 7, 2007 by aunitedway
	TIME TO LET GO OF HIM (Preview) Just had one of the worst days of my life. My friend and I had become very close the last few months. Moved the friendship upto another level. So we were very intimate. I was very happy. I had feelings for him, I love him, have done for a long time. We ended the relationship a few weeks ago, he said he felt guil...	ally	8	579	Feb 7, 2007 by johello
	Maverick...I sent you a private message (Preview) you will see it at the top of your page by your name	Gailey	0	296	Feb 7, 2007 by Gailey
	Dating a dry A (Preview) So I haven't seen my previous A bf in weeks...I ended a 7 year relationship because I just wanted to focus on me and my kids rather than the antics of alcoholism. After an encounter at Target...go figure...Last week my post told about a date I went on with an man I have known for years . I didn't k...	kicky	9	611	Feb 7, 2007 by emma
	trapped and suffocating (Preview) I have been married to the same ah for 26 years, but recently i was dx with a chronic disabling disease. I have been given tranqulizers and pain medication to help me get through the rough spots. Last night i caught him again taking my meds and at higher than recomended doses while his was so drunk. I ca...	suzyque2	7	1010	Feb 7, 2007 by suzyque2
	How to get my brother to talk to his family after 5 years (Preview) MY brother stopped comminicating with his entire family 5 years ago with no reason at all. This includes the extended family too. After my parents hadn't heard from him and no phone calls were accepted along with returned mail, they decided to call the police in Houston. The police did a "p...	Serenity	7	493	Feb 7, 2007 by gardengal
	TRUST IN AL-ANON (Preview) (((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) One of the most Important things in my life has always been "TRUST". I have never had much of it. I have always had so many insecurities, believing I was different from everyone else. I had this label on me, I could not be normal. Etc..... So when I joined Al-...	ally	9	1065	Feb 7, 2007 by gardengal
	Got my papers! (Preview) I turned in my questionaire paperwork yesterday to obtain a separation from my AH. They told me it could take 2-3 weeks to get the formal ones back. I was like "Whoa!" I didn't want to wait that long. Turns out I didn't have to. they called me this morning and told me they were read...	QOD	5	418	Feb 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	FOR SHAWN (Preview) ((((((((((((((((SHAWN))))))))))))))))))) Thanks for your reply to my post.....(trust in al-anon) I would just like to say to you. You have been a good friend to me, since you joined this room. We can share things with eachother, private things. And we have trust both ways. I don't like to see my...	ally	1	422	Feb 7, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Fed up (Preview) I have been married to my husband for 28 years. His alcohol abuse has always been a big problem for me. After all these years of him treating me like crap I am filing for divorce. My question to you is, How do I find myself again? For years I became the person who made the least amount of waves so he wouldn...	AloneinNH	4	453	Feb 7, 2007 by Leetle
	What an aftermath! (Preview) It is 2 weeks ago tonight that my A ended that 11 day drinking binge he went on. Of course that's not the first long binge he's ever been on and I have watched the progressiveness of the disease over the years. The longest he ever stayed sober was for 3 yrs. and when he picked up again (about...	jaja	2	316	Feb 7, 2007 by Leetle
	the resentment stuff (Preview) I have been working super hard on the resentment issue in the last few months. I feel like I've come a long way on it. Nevertheless I had a lot of denial about how bad I've been with it. I've also been in denial about what I looked like and was like around others when I was totally consumed with a...	maresie2	2	412	Feb 7, 2007 by Leetle
	not him too! (Preview) my father's friend, the co-excutor on his will, the one who has been living in his house, the one who i have been trusting unconditionally to handle the finances of the estate......is a crack addict! i knew he was alcoholic and i dropped him off to rehab 2 weeks ago. i was at the house taking care of th...	serendipity	4	588	Feb 6, 2007 by lin0606
	Update and Thank you!!! (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) We buried my mother today, it is her birthday. This has been an incredible week -- there just aren't the words to express the emotions. We postponed everything to round up my other siblings (there are four of us) One of my brothers, who teaches in China, that I haven't se...	Lunamoth	7	440	Feb 6, 2007 by emma
	Self care (Preview) For some reason I can move heaven and earth for the A and everyone else and simple acts of caring for myself seem fraught with obstacles I can't overcome. Ask me to do something for someone else I can move through any kind of red tape. When it comes to myself however I am always getting detoured. My t...	maresie2	1	256	Feb 6, 2007 by hudsond
	Yeah but is it really a disease? (Preview) I know this is obvious and I actually accepted alcoholism as a disease along time ago, I just have a hard time applying it to him. He has hep C and cancer. I know that those are diseases and he suffers from them. Funny, they don't really come up very much. Anyway, doesn't he choose to drink? Last ni...	RainyJamie	13	1208	Feb 6, 2007 by Moon
	Stress... (Preview) *Stress*A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold...	ShelBell	5	374	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Reasons why A's drink or use (Preview) So, in the last week or so, i have read several post here & on another site with people struggling about feeling guilt about why their A's drank or use - feeling some responsibility for that & some of the other behaviors- some of my friends from my f2f meeting were also talking about this - th...	Rita G	15	643	Feb 6, 2007 by Diva
	He must be in Self-Destruct Mode! (Preview) I am in a strange mood this morning. I took my separation questionaire to my lawyer yesterday to have them officially drafted for signing. It was a weird feeling. Good but bad. Ya know. Like I am putting an end to an era. My first love - my high school love - my marriage to the only man I have ever been wi...	QOD	4	463	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	He's STILL in jail - how to deal with others enabiling!!! (Preview) A is still in jail, been there since the 1st. Pretty sad when there's not a soul in the world who will give you $100 and vouch for you. Job was lost yesterday (he can't even get anyone to pick up his check and bail him out with his own money). MIL called to ask me to do it and I said no so now she's...	carolinagirl	4	398	Feb 6, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Protecting Yourself Financially - Auto Insurance? (Preview) Looking for some practical info. AH got a DUI a few weeks ago; our auto insurance agent is now trying to get ahold of him. I"m guessing they're going to cancel our insurance, or at least raise the rates. I don't give a flip about AH's coverage at this point, but I really need to have af...	sharky	6	530	Feb 6, 2007 by Diva
	I just want him out!!! (Preview) (((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))) I’m in some desperate need of ES&H. For those of you that don’t know I live with my active AH. On the weekends usually in the mornings, while sober he will go into a fit of rage. It always starts with the kids not doing what they are supposed to do and then it goes on f...	shadow1	7	507	Feb 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	"i'm a victim" rant (Preview) thanks so much for your replies to my last post. the kindness and understanding flow right into me and give me new thoughts to think. i'm scared. i guess that is what it's boiling down to for me. i am seeing so much fear in myself trying to strike out and do this "live my own life" thing...	serendipity	5	661	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...God's will? (Preview) We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more. --Mark Twain "Last night I asked for help, but...	Tiger2006	4	438	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Feeling insecure (Preview) Life is going good. Why do I feel so uneasy? My ah has been sober for almost 6 months. He is very active in his program-going to 10-12 meetings a week, talking to his sponsor almost every night, has others calling him and is talking to them, listening to speaker tapes at home, working his steps, yada, y...	hudsond	7	427	Feb 6, 2007 by hudsond
	Laughable! He's not ready to come home! HAHAHA (Preview) So I didn't really know what topic to use to describe this post......it is just laughable to me. Of course, I may just be a bit hysterical over it all. On Friday when I got home from work, there was a message from this guy that my AH has been trying to get a job with for the last 2-1/2 months. He had taken...	QOD	5	479	Feb 6, 2007 by QOD
	prayer answered (Preview) Ive had a prayer answered.... My brother is now in rehab. Ive prayed for some sort of help for one of my family memebers. Im so pleased with the prayer answered. My Mom is not very happy with me. I told her I couldnt fix the situation. She got mad at me and pretty much called me heartless. I told My Mom I did lov...	purplebutterfly	3	410	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Jerry F (Preview) Thank you for responding to me five days ago,,,,,,,, oh how I needed to talk to someone, how lonely, frusterated, scared I was. I couldn't send back replys, as I was not familuar with this setup of IMs, and stuff,,,,,,, I'm still learning. I just want to let you know, I found my way into the room,...	davidssibling	1	465	Feb 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	Oh my goodness kiddies!!! WOW!!! (Preview) The youthful, tanned body has become gorgeously mature. He's tall, and straight, and proud as a peacock. The blond, curly hair has become a rich silver mass of gentle curls hanging down his forehead and into his eyes. The bedroom blue eyes are even more knowing and twinkling. The badness ha...	Diva	12	718	Feb 5, 2007 by drucilla06
	HP works in mysterious ways... A reflection post (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Tomorrow one year ago my now AH and I split up. Everything moved so quickly. My AH was drinking very heavily then. I was a mess. I was frustrated beyond belief and my life seemed to be surrounded by chaos, anger, resentment, manipulation, constant bickering. We both had had eno...	twinmom2	4	452	Feb 5, 2007 by maresie2
	He's gone AGAIN!! What am I supposed to do? (Preview) My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...	QOD	15	608	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	I hate to do what I'm about to do.......... (Preview) Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...	Friendofyours	7	720	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	My mother passed this morning... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.	Lunamoth	46	1379	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Attended My First Meeting This Morning! (Preview) I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...	kellygirl	8	467	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Is he or isn't He? (Preview) This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie -- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...	kellygirl	6	561	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.