Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Freetime · Freetime

This page talks about blaming others for our feelings, and how the words we use are important. Talking about our feelings in a healthier way, we can express ourselves without blaming. When we can do this, we are no longer a victim. Quote: "We learn in time that it is not subjects which are controversial...

Jan2018 · Jan2018

Now I know what a trigger is. For me: an ambulance with sirens and lights flashing stopped 4-way traffic so it could make it through the intersection. And I wondered: who was inside? Whose life was hanging in the balance; who may be clinging to life; what mother (father) would be given a jolt to their...

kakr444 · kakr444

My husband has been "sober" for 12 weeks after an in-patient rehab stay. We have a vacation home that has open bottles of liquor and he was adamant about leaving it there for other people (his counselor said it was up to him). However, I have twice seen the alcohol level decreasing in the bottle and of cou...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's Courage to Change talks about meditation. Simply defined by the dictionary, it means "to think contemplatively". Contemplate is further defined as "to view thoughtfully". The writer suggests that each quiet moment found to calm the mind and think through a day is meditating. When we a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I wanted to let you know that the investigation was closed. I chose to have another meeting with hr because more things have occurred with my boss. I'll spare you the drama. I worked my program and was true to myself in those situations. It was hard to go to hr and complain about my supervisor a second time...

lookingup · lookingup

as some of you remember some of my older posts here of my daughter and family living over seas in Okinawa Japan ,for the last 11 yrs ,are now arriving back into the states to live out the rest of sil air force , they will be living in Las Vegas,enrolling my g,son into college there,then the other 2 g,sons.wi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi mip! I'm traveling again, so today's topic is from today's hope. The author shares that the theme of letting go can apply to many aspects of life, and when we let go, we are able to enjoy the fullness that is life. When we let go of our cares and worries, we free our minds to enjoy the wonders around us. ...

joker · joker

I have not been on the board for a bit, but its now 6 months since the active alcoholic bf left the house, he insisted no one will take him out off. He was absolutely sure that none will remove him from this house he is attached to. The police removed him and he suddenly moved to another province. I am in Canad...

a4l · a4l

So, I've been stuck in a horrible dark place for a few months. It's something I have to watch out for, the old black dog, comes to visit me every so often. On Friday, without much thinking, I began to plan for a better week. So, today, being Monday where I am, I woke up at 5.30.No kids around, they rise at 6.45...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I just signed myself and my teenagers up for this conference! I am so excited, because we donât have Alateen here, so this will be their first exposure... with a bunch of other teens getting introuced the steps, traditions, sharing, speakers etc. It is only a couple hours from my home, and a friend has o...

lookingup · lookingup

ive just noticed I haven't been logging out of this room, my ? Is,,,should I be logging out every time ? with not logging out does it keep my lookingup screen name up....thank you in advance. ive got another day of planned events to do,I'm grateful to be having things to do everyday or every other day, thi...

Tude · Tude

I don't understand the chat lingo to get into the meeting. I keep getting errors and it won't allow me to sign on. I have a warning in my address bar saying the site isn't secure etc. When I add the exception to my antivirus program I still get the same message. I even tried IE and no luck. Any suggestions? Th...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 19 speaks about Working Step 4 . The reading suggests that this Step is a long-term undertaking because as long as we remain blind to the flaws that create so much chaos for us,we must continue to search out these defects by doing an inventory day after day trying to face our...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family... I Had An Al-Anon Friend Once make a Statement to me that Kinda Took me by Surprise, She Stated She Didn't know I was So "Sensitive" because I Personally had Never Seen myself this way, but over the last Couple of Years, working on my recovery, Sobriety & Spirituality... Welp She wa...

Tude · Tude

Hi everyone. We took a fishing trip and left my AF in charge. It's been over 6 months since her disappearing act while caring for our house, pets and flock..........while we were out of state. I was a good bit nervous but she got her 5 mo chip in AA and stays close to her sponsor, attends 5 meetings a week etc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step five: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nture of our wrongs. The writer mentions how difficult this step was because of shame for the defects and shortcomings, and distrust that anyone else could accept a pers...

Lyne · Lyne

Envy: The writer discusses how we can feel resentful of people that have less troubled lives. But he discovered that he was special and actually had everything he needed. He learned to trust that HP knew what was good for him. He goes on to say that envy is a waste of time, and resentment puts wedges b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

At yesterday mornings meeting a woman issued lots of language on taking her 4th step after which I thanked her for mentioning mine. Her experiences were much like the ones I have had. We all had a bit of a laugh at how that works and then it stuck with me right up until I went to bed and to sleep. I starte...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family... I have been away for some time and Just wanted to Speak a Bit about How things have done a 180 in my Recovery World of Worlds, as Some here know I came from an Alcoholic home and Found MIP weeks after I lost my AFather to this Disease... I have 4 Siblings (All A's), and I Have many of A-Gene...

Jayla · Jayla

Hello all. Iâm hoping for your ESH once again. I recently had a situation with my bf (the one who treats me quite well but wonât tell me what his job is) that I am feeling turned around on. * My 4 year old recently said that my bf showed him a game to play with his body I found concerning. Now I know this child is n...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I feel no desire to give my STBXRAH a Father's Day card. I know from being a member, that I am under no obligation to give him one to validate him... or to validate I am a "good" person. So I just wanted to put my thoughts down in case it helps someone else. Early in our marriage, we always gave each other cards...

Jlsdoll85 · Jlsdoll85

I just need some guidance and advice, maybe a little confirmation that Im not completely crazy. My husband of 13 years, has been being more distant the past month or so. He hangs around a group of guys who are 10 years younger than him(theyre in their 20s) and I barely spend any time with him any more, whic...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading June 16 speaks about the Al-Anon principle of allowing others to experience the consequences of their actions, We know the alcoholic needs to hit bottom and become uncomfortable with the old behavior as they can do something about it . We therefore need to learn to detach with loveano...

Overcome · Overcome

June 16, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC)TOPICS: JADE - Do not: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain to the alcoholic in the future and Open topic.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to joi...

HeyThere321 · HeyThere321

Hello everyone, please give me some advice on how to proceed in the following situation. My husband has had addictions for many years (drugs in the past, and alcohol/gambling the last few years). As a result of the lying/drinking/gambling, we have not had a good relationship the last few years. Most...

Freetime · Freetime

Hello everyone! Today's page speaks about the state of mind we are in when we first come into these rooms. We are preoccupied with someone else's drinking. The author discusses Step One in two parts. The first part, that we are powerless over alcohol, is very hard for us to accept. It is much easie...

ling · ling

HI AH has just admitted to drinking again. I was pleased he told me and i had compassion. However later he was watching a humorous programme on tv. I don't know why but I asked him if he was really unhappy. He said he was and it really upset me. I went upstairs not knowing what to do. I later came down and I was a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family - Happy Thursday....Today's reading talks about Step 12 and all that is received as one works recovery. Al-Anon gives us an understanding of this disease, tools to change our lives, courage to use them and a safe place to share and hear ESH. Many of us want recovery for our fam...

shrnp · shrnp

It has been a longtime since I have posted on here. My life was going pretty good. My ex-a still is not drinking and that is great. Now, I am having a big problem with my son. He met a woman who is a drug addict. They got engaged and are living together only after 2 weeks of seeing each other. He had dated her a co...

KT2015 · KT2015

I am finding that other people's illnesses are getting to me and I'm trying to control. My AH had a drunken episode this weekend that sent me reeling. His drinking has been bad and the more he drinks the more I focus on him until I lose sight of my own life. I shared about this at my meeting and got some gre...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- So, Ive been helping my friend who is deep in the struggles of her AH, and she finally has reached out to me in help. Things blew up when I stopped by last night. Her husband was so drunk and asking me why I was there (I told him visiting), and he immediately got suspicious, yelling, etc. I did no...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

It's definetly been a rough few weeks. Coming on here and finding a f2f meeting has kept me going. My AH and I have decided together to try marriage counseling in addition to his recovery program and mine through Al-anon. We both have the understanding that we may come out on the other side and decide...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 12 speaks about having a sense of humor and suggests that it would be great if we could go to the market and purchase a huge supply of humor so that we can use that to lighten our view of many situations and life in general. The reading goes on to recommend that the next time we r...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am feeling so frustrated today. We had a nice day yesterday and then we tried to talk about fixing some things with the moving of "our" bank accounts to only be told that I need to earn back his trust and he needs to take things one day at a time?????? Wait a minute here, I am confused. I thought things ha...

Pol · Pol

I'm not new to alanon but its the first time in years that I have put my foot forward to try and work the program consistantly. I would say I'm past the first three steps but I've decided to do a worksheet I've found online for step one. I will be attending a local meeting tonight but I feel it will probably no...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

Hi...its been awhile since i have posted last...I have a sponsor that I will be talking too however the last couple days between work and my AH i have been feeling like i am a kid again. Its like I am being talked to either that i don't know my job (like a mom would talk) or that i didn't do something (like put a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...

luv123 · luv123

Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...

Overcome · Overcome

June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...

Lyne · Lyne

Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...

Holly73 · Holly73

Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...

sakina · sakina

I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...

Lyne · Lyne

Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C - 6/22 (Preview) This page talks about blaming others for our feelings, and how the words we use are important. Talking about our feelings in a healthier way, we can express ourselves without blaming. When we can do this, we are no longer a victim. Quote: "We learn in time that it is not subjects which are controversial...	Freetime	4	659	Jun 22, 2018 by Iamhere
	Triggered- An ambulance through an intersection (Preview) Now I know what a trigger is. For me: an ambulance with sirens and lights flashing stopped 4-way traffic so it could make it through the intersection. And I wondered: who was inside? Whose life was hanging in the balance; who may be clinging to life; what mother (father) would be given a jolt to their...	Jan2018	3	2583	Jun 22, 2018 by Jan2018
	What to do if pretty sure "sober" husband is drinking (Preview) My husband has been "sober" for 12 weeks after an in-patient rehab stay. We have a vacation home that has open bottles of liquor and he was adamant about leaving it there for other people (his counselor said it was up to him). However, I have twice seen the alcohol level decreasing in the bottle and of cou...	kakr444	8	1220	Jun 21, 2018 by Mattie
	Courage to Change 6/21/18 (Preview) Today's Courage to Change talks about meditation. Simply defined by the dictionary, it means "to think contemplatively". Contemplate is further defined as "to view thoughtfully". The writer suggests that each quiet moment found to calm the mind and think through a day is meditating. When we a...	Iamhere	4	759	Jun 21, 2018 by Tude
	Latest Update in Work (Preview) I wanted to let you know that the investigation was closed. I chose to have another meeting with hr because more things have occurred with my boss. I'll spare you the drama. I worked my program and was true to myself in those situations. It was hard to go to hr and complain about my supervisor a second time...	tiredtonite	9	702	Jun 20, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Daughter in route (Preview) as some of you remember some of my older posts here of my daughter and family living over seas in Okinawa Japan ,for the last 11 yrs ,are now arriving back into the states to live out the rest of sil air force , they will be living in Las Vegas,enrolling my g,son into college there,then the other 2 g,sons.wi...	lookingup	9	2225	Jun 20, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Today's Hope June 20 (Preview) Hi mip! I'm traveling again, so today's topic is from today's hope. The author shares that the theme of letting go can apply to many aspects of life, and when we let go, we are able to enjoy the fullness that is life. When we let go of our cares and worries, we free our minds to enjoy the wonders around us. ...	Skorpi	7	2216	Jun 20, 2018 by Tude
	How time changes things (Preview) I have not been on the board for a bit, but its now 6 months since the active alcoholic bf left the house, he insisted no one will take him out off. He was absolutely sure that none will remove him from this house he is attached to. The police removed him and he suddenly moved to another province. I am in Canad...	joker	2	550	Jun 20, 2018 by sunmustshine
	One day at a time, climbing out of depression. (Preview) So, I've been stuck in a horrible dark place for a few months. It's something I have to watch out for, the old black dog, comes to visit me every so often. On Friday, without much thinking, I began to plan for a better week. So, today, being Monday where I am, I woke up at 5.30.No kids around, they rise at 6.45...	a4l	10	1913	Jun 20, 2018 by WestMan
	AA/Alanon/Alateen conference in Colorado (Preview) I just signed myself and my teenagers up for this conference! I am so excited, because we donât have Alateen here, so this will be their first exposure... with a bunch of other teens getting introuced the steps, traditions, sharing, speakers etc. It is only a couple hours from my home, and a friend has o...	oceanpine	2	2452	Jun 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	Logging out (Preview) ive just noticed I haven't been logging out of this room, my ? Is,,,should I be logging out every time ? with not logging out does it keep my lookingup screen name up....thank you in advance. ive got another day of planned events to do,I'm grateful to be having things to do everyday or every other day, thi...	lookingup	3	2359	Jun 19, 2018 by lookingup
	Chat room? (Preview) I don't understand the chat lingo to get into the meeting. I keep getting errors and it won't allow me to sign on. I have a warning in my address bar saying the site isn't secure etc. When I add the exception to my antivirus program I still get the same message. I even tried IE and no luck. Any suggestions? Th...	Tude	6	548	Jun 19, 2018 by courage101
	ODAT Reading 6-19 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 19 speaks about Working Step 4 . The reading suggests that this Step is a long-term undertaking because as long as we remain blind to the flaws that create so much chaos for us,we must continue to search out these defects by doing an inventory day after day trying to face our...	hotrod	5	1708	Jun 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	When a Compliment Goes Bad...At First! (Preview) Hello Family... I Had An Al-Anon Friend Once make a Statement to me that Kinda Took me by Surprise, She Stated She Didn't know I was So "Sensitive" because I Personally had Never Seen myself this way, but over the last Couple of Years, working on my recovery, Sobriety & Spirituality... Welp She wa...	Jozie	6	2319	Jun 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Back from vacation and tools..... (Preview) Hi everyone. We took a fishing trip and left my AF in charge. It's been over 6 months since her disappearing act while caring for our house, pets and flock..........while we were out of state. I was a good bit nervous but she got her 5 mo chip in AA and stays close to her sponsor, attends 5 meetings a week etc...	Tude	5	1469	Jun 18, 2018 by Tude
	Hope for Today June 17 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step five: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nture of our wrongs. The writer mentions how difficult this step was because of shame for the defects and shortcomings, and distrust that anyone else could accept a pers...	yanksfan51	5	554	Jun 18, 2018 by DavidG
	C2C, 6/18 (Preview) Envy: The writer discusses how we can feel resentful of people that have less troubled lives. But he discovered that he was special and actually had everything he needed. He learned to trust that HP knew what was good for him. He goes on to say that envy is a waste of time, and resentment puts wedges b...	Lyne	4	587	Jun 18, 2018 by mamakat71
	4th Stepped... (Preview) At yesterday mornings meeting a woman issued lots of language on taking her 4th step after which I thanked her for mentioning mine. Her experiences were much like the ones I have had. We all had a bit of a laugh at how that works and then it stuck with me right up until I went to bed and to sleep. I starte...	Jerry F	7	1059	Jun 18, 2018 by Jozie
	It Works if We Work it... (Preview) Hello MIP Family... I have been away for some time and Just wanted to Speak a Bit about How things have done a 180 in my Recovery World of Worlds, as Some here know I came from an Alcoholic home and Found MIP weeks after I lost my AFather to this Disease... I have 4 Siblings (All A's), and I Have many of A-Gene...	Jozie	11	2354	Jun 18, 2018 by Tude
	Need ESH re: boundaries with children (Preview) Hello all. Iâm hoping for your ESH once again. I recently had a situation with my bf (the one who treats me quite well but wonât tell me what his job is) that I am feeling turned around on. * My 4 year old recently said that my bf showed him a game to play with his body I found concerning. Now I know this child is n...	Jayla	21	1497	Jun 18, 2018 by Tude
	Just my thoughts on Father's Day (Preview) I feel no desire to give my STBXRAH a Father's Day card. I know from being a member, that I am under no obligation to give him one to validate him... or to validate I am a "good" person. So I just wanted to put my thoughts down in case it helps someone else. Early in our marriage, we always gave each other cards...	PosiesandPuppies	12	798	Jun 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Am I crazy (Preview) I just need some guidance and advice, maybe a little confirmation that Im not completely crazy. My husband of 13 years, has been being more distant the past month or so. He hangs around a group of guys who are 10 years younger than him(theyre in their 20s) and I barely spend any time with him any more, whic...	Jlsdoll85	12	2597	Jun 17, 2018 by Jerry F
	CTC ,,, 6/15 (Preview) The C2C reading June 16 speaks about the Al-Anon principle of allowing others to experience the consequences of their actions, We know the alcoholic needs to hit bottom and become uncomfortable with the old behavior as they can do something about it . We therefore need to learn to detach with loveano...	lookingup	4	481	Jun 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Saturday morning Meeting starting NOW!!! (Preview) June 16, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC)TOPICS: JADE - Do not: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain to the alcoholic in the future and Open topic.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to joi...	Overcome	1	3114	Jun 16, 2018 by hotrod
	Need advice please (Preview) Hello everyone, please give me some advice on how to proceed in the following situation. My husband has had addictions for many years (drugs in the past, and alcohol/gambling the last few years). As a result of the lying/drinking/gambling, we have not had a good relationship the last few years. Most...	HeyThere321	4	660	Jun 15, 2018 by hotrod
	ODAT - 6/15 (Preview) Hello everyone! Today's page speaks about the state of mind we are in when we first come into these rooms. We are preoccupied with someone else's drinking. The author discusses Step One in two parts. The first part, that we are powerless over alcohol, is very hard for us to accept. It is much easie...	Freetime	5	549	Jun 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	feel awful (Preview) HI AH has just admitted to drinking again. I was pleased he told me and i had compassion. However later he was watching a humorous programme on tv. I don't know why but I asked him if he was really unhappy. He said he was and it really upset me. I went upstairs not knowing what to do. I later came down and I was a...	ling	11	1964	Jun 15, 2018 by Finding grace
	Courage to Change 6/14/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family - Happy Thursday....Today's reading talks about Step 12 and all that is received as one works recovery. Al-Anon gives us an understanding of this disease, tools to change our lives, courage to use them and a safe place to share and hear ESH. Many of us want recovery for our fam...	Iamhere	4	690	Jun 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	I really need someone to talk to. (Preview) It has been a longtime since I have posted on here. My life was going pretty good. My ex-a still is not drinking and that is great. Now, I am having a big problem with my son. He met a woman who is a drug addict. They got engaged and are living together only after 2 weeks of seeing each other. He had dated her a co...	shrnp	7	701	Jun 14, 2018 by Bo
	other people's illnesses getting the best of me (Preview) I am finding that other people's illnesses are getting to me and I'm trying to control. My AH had a drunken episode this weekend that sent me reeling. His drinking has been bad and the more he drinks the more I focus on him until I lose sight of my own life. I shared about this at my meeting and got some gre...	KT2015	6	2231	Jun 14, 2018 by Lyne
	Detachment/ defusing slogans/ESH (Preview) Hi everyone- So, Ive been helping my friend who is deep in the struggles of her AH, and she finally has reached out to me in help. Things blew up when I stopped by last night. Her husband was so drunk and asking me why I was there (I told him visiting), and he immediately got suspicious, yelling, etc. I did no...	gabigail	4	1154	Jun 14, 2018 by Bo
	thank you for your support (Preview) It's definetly been a rough few weeks. Coming on here and finding a f2f meeting has kept me going. My AH and I have decided together to try marriage counseling in addition to his recovery program and mine through Al-anon. We both have the understanding that we may come out on the other side and decide...	mamakat71	2	2352	Jun 13, 2018 by mamakat71
	ODAT reading 6-12-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 12 speaks about having a sense of humor and suggests that it would be great if we could go to the market and purchase a huge supply of humor so that we can use that to lighten our view of many situations and life in general. The reading goes on to recommend that the next time we r...	hotrod	8	3008	Jun 13, 2018 by hotrod
	feeling frustrated (Preview) I am feeling so frustrated today. We had a nice day yesterday and then we tried to talk about fixing some things with the moving of "our" bank accounts to only be told that I need to earn back his trust and he needs to take things one day at a time?????? Wait a minute here, I am confused. I thought things ha...	mamakat71	15	859	Jun 13, 2018 by Bo
	Working Step One with out a sponsor? (Preview) I'm not new to alanon but its the first time in years that I have put my foot forward to try and work the program consistantly. I would say I'm past the first three steps but I've decided to do a worksheet I've found online for step one. I will be attending a local meeting tonight but I feel it will probably no...	Pol	9	1028	Jun 13, 2018 by Jozie
	Depressed (Preview) Hi...its been awhile since i have posted last...I have a sponsor that I will be talking too however the last couple days between work and my AH i have been feeling like i am a kid again. Its like I am being talked to either that i don't know my job (like a mom would talk) or that i didn't do something (like put a...	Godsdaughter	6	1015	Jun 13, 2018 by Jozie
	Courage to Change June 13 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...	Skorpi	2	1943	Jun 13, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Ala-Miracles & Jail story (Preview) Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...	luv123	9	853	Jun 12, 2018 by luv123
	Tuesday morning meeting starting in chat room (Preview) June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...	Overcome	2	512	Jun 12, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 6/11 (Preview) Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...	Lyne	3	661	Jun 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	I feel ready to start working the program - 27 years after first going to an AlAnon meeting!!! (Preview) Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...	Faintly Falling	10	819	Jun 11, 2018 by Faintly Falling
	Yesterday was a good day (Preview) Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...	PosiesandPuppies	3	646	Jun 11, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	One day at a time (Preview) Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...	mamakat71	5	660	Jun 11, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today June 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...	yanksfan51	7	674	Jun 11, 2018 by DavidG
	Send is not my friend .. (Preview) My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...	SerenityRUS	4	645	Jun 10, 2018 by mamakat71
	When we slip... (Preview) Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...	Holly73	11	831	Jun 9, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	knowing what to do isn't easy (Preview) Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...	mamakat71	7	780	Jun 9, 2018 by Bo
	Got some sleep. so maybe I can think clearly (Preview) I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...	mamakat71	7	725	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C,,,6/9 (Preview) The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...	lookingup	3	500	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	Dipping my Toes in the Recovery of Life... (Preview) Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...	Jozie	6	545	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	any quick fixes for the anxiety ? (Preview) So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...	Dancer66	9	793	Jun 8, 2018 by Dancer66
	not sure if I am crazy or obsessed or normal. definitely frustrated and confused , angry and resentful (Preview) I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...	Dancer66	6	1519	Jun 8, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 6/8/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...	Iamhere	3	481	Jun 8, 2018 by andromeda
	got the dreaded call (Preview) While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...	mamakat71	6	606	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	F2F meeting was much needed. Glad I went (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...	mamakat71	3	511	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Growing up? (Preview) Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...	SerenityRUS	4	529	Jun 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	Newcomer and depressed (Preview) I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...	sakina	15	734	Jun 7, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 6/7/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...	Iamhere	1	472	Jun 7, 2018 by hotrod
	Update about Work (Preview) Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...	tiredtonite	12	841	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
	5th anniversary (Preview) Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....	Lyne	10	818	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.