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My AH won't let go - UPDATE!
(Preview)
Thanks to all for the sharing. My AH came over for dinner tonight. TACOS. He came right in and hugged me & snuck a kiss in on me. Then he laughed at how he did that. BLAH. So I was in the middle of making dinner when my cell phone rang. He was standing right by it and saw a guy's name come up. A guy from t...
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QOD
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7
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593
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settling
(Preview)
"If you can't feel loved, settle for being needed" I just read that in Codependant no More. It spoke out a little to me. I remember, not too far into my marriage, wanting to soak up love like a sponge, and just not FEELING it. So I became a little desperate for him to feel pleased with me. I looked...
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RainyJamie
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4
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335
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fear fear fear
(Preview)
Why is that now I am contemplating life on my own I feel tremendous fear. I lived quite ok on my own for years before I met the A. I now think I am not capable of it. I have been trying to fashion another fail safe plan. I do not want to be stuck living with the A. He is moving to some remote area. Everything in his l...
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maresie2
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8
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598
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An extra special Pipers Kitty Day
(Preview)
((((((((Family))))), Tomorrow is my beloved Pipers Kitty 4th birthday. It is also my 3rd anniversary with hubby. When I think back where we were a year ago, I am stunned by the changes in me and in my life. I was incredibly unhappy and sad because he was still drinking and I thought it would never end....
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Karilynn
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11
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868
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THINK
(Preview)
This is from the forum...Hope it works love angel
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angel123
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5
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415
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Another Article Share..re...Detatchment
(Preview)
The ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or depende...
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Phil
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6
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690
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New lease....
(Preview)
Hello ((((((Everyone)))))) My new found skill in sticking to my boundries has been tested to the bitter end over the past few weeks. For those that don't know, my AW and I are seperated and have been for 5 months now. She has learned to talk the talk of getting better (getting help and getting sober), b...
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rtexas
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8
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554
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Working out my recovery in my own way
(Preview)
As I continue to work out my recovery in my way and my time there are some things that bother me more than others, so those are the things that I pray on(cause that is what I do....:) I am really working on my attitude with my AH, that is something that really drives me nuts, not to mention it drives him nuts al...
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doxie
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3
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586
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feeling bad about how I'm feeling
(Preview)
I find myself hoping that my 19 year old isn't at home when I return from work etc. I am so tired, her and her friends are very disrespectful. I have told her no drugs and drinking in this house, both myself and husband are in recovery and we have other children as well. And it continues, she even puts empty...
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gimmpy
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6
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552
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My AH won't let go!
(Preview)
My AH doesn't seem to want to let go of our relationship. I told him a week ago that it was over. That I didn't see us getting back together. That I still love him but it isn't the same.He seems to grasp this concept for a few days and then WHAM, right back to the same ol' crap. He loves me, misses me, so lone...
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QOD
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10
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645
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Step 1
(Preview)
This is From the Forum 1989,hope you are enjoying the pages posted.love Angel
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angel123
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4
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483
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"RECOVERY IN RELATIONSHIPS" -be part of next CAL book
(Preview)
Literature coodinators have received word that WSO is still looking for shares for the next book-in-progress, whose working title is "Recovery in Relationships". CAL literature (and in fact our whole Alanon program) depend on members sharing their own experience, strength and hope...
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thinkstoomuch
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0
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330
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boundry
(Preview)
i made the boundry that my ex ah could not see or have any contact with me or the kids. if he wants to see them i need something legal. he has called a few times and i don't say anything just "get a lawyer". it was hard for me but it got easier. yesterday he called and asked to speak to the kids and i sai...
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serendipity
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2
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376
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NEED TO GIVE MY A AN ULTIMAUM--NEED SOME ESH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Well, now that my A has not been living w/ me, it has gotten worse, but in a different way. I say I do not miss the nightly chaos that can spring up at a drunken moment, or when I have had enough, not taking my meds right and flipping out. I think him even being here aggravates my mental illness. For one, I have f...
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hippietrippiechick
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14
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767
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What a Turnaround
(Preview)
Last week I was full of sorrow about my AH and I splitting up and possibly heading to the divorce courts. This past weekend I spent the entire weekend with him and he has told me that after his two binges ober tyhe past two or three weeks he has realized that he is not happy and he wants a better life. /he said t...
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albertarose
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5
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557
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Just Being There
(Preview)
Hi (((((Family))))) I got the following in an email and thought it had a beautiful message so decided to share it with you. (Have the kleenex ready, I needed it!) A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside of her patient. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to rep...
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david62
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10
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585
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1 week
(Preview)
Yesterday was exactly 1 week that AH has been clean. I know you have to take one day at a time, but Im sooo proud of him. He was suppose to go to a meeting w/ his cousin friday night, but his cousin got home late, so the 3 of us went food shopping instead. Of course, we had to drive through the college area, so a bu...
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DanieH
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8
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414
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Passover
(Preview)
(((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to wish all of you who celebrate Passover this week, a blessed and joyous Passover. I have been honored to observe it and participate in it with dear friends, and it truly is wonderful. Love and blessings to you and your families. Live strong, Karilynn & Pi...
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Karilynn
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4
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340
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My friend shot himself last night...
(Preview)
One of my closest guy friends, Eric, shot himself last night. There were no signs... I haven't even really had a chance to talk to him since I left school months ago...Every once in a while, we'd talk on the phone, and he even came to visit the kids after the twins were born. He never led on any indication th...
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Miranda
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15
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823
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making a change
(Preview)
I posted earlier about how it sucked that I was working nights while A hung out and worked on his beer belly. A few people replied that I need to hold my priorities; take care of me, my family, and my home. I appreciate this and it is a good way to keep things in perspective. I switched my scheduling. I work...
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RainyJamie
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1
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337
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being out of the way of the A
(Preview)
I have just been gone a few days and come back to get a few more things. The house is a real mess. The A immediately steps in with what I have contributed to the mess as soon as I get in the door. The electricity is going to be cut off. He just lays around and watches the few channels he can get on TV. His favori...
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maresie2
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9
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507
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new here...feel so alone
(Preview)
Hi I just found this board and read some. I felt after reading some posts that so many people would understand what I was going through and right now I feel like nobody does. He has been drinking for the last 2 years, it has gotten worse and worse. He blames me for EVERYTHING, it's always my fault, he's neve...
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lonelymom
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9
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623
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WATCH HOW I'M GROWING
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((((((yo roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) WOW!!!! I feel as if I have been on a journey the last few weeks. I have grown so much in my life...Also I have grown up...lol Well, my anti-deps are working, I'm accepting I am just like everyone else "Normal"..... I...
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ally
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5
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633
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Can't seem to catch a break
(Preview)
I'm feeling like things are pretty hopeless right now. Like I said last month, my husband left me, found out he's been talking to another woman....just talking he says and says he has stopped talking to her and that he will not have any contact with her again. But he still doesn't want to get back togethe...
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Jayda
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4
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554
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News about my niece and sister
(Preview)
I am continuing to rebuild a much happier life- moved into a new house, my job is going great, and I just keep getting better news about my health. Got the phone call from my mom that I knew would come soon. I made the decision to NOT talk to my mom about my sister's family's problems because I was burned year...
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donewithitallandhappy
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1
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511
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Attended a couples meeting last night
(Preview)
As you may know, my husband got out of detox on Thurs. He's been to at least one meeting a day since he left (Fri. he went to two). Last night he suggested that we attend this couples meeting. I didn't know what to expect because this is all so new for me. Basically, it is a meeting of mostly AA members and...
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sash
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4
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619
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9th Tradition
(Preview)
I am in a step study group and am responsible for going over Tradition 9. Can any of you very wise people give me some insite on how Tradition 9 can be applied to the Alanon program and to everyday life. By the way the 9th tradition is "Our groups ought never be organized; but we may create service b...
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artgirl
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9
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9130
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People pleasing and feeling trapped
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))) Phil posted the other day about people pleasing and how to learn to say no. I have 2 major defects, people pleasing and the consequenses of saying yes when you mean no. And for a long long time, I considered that I had no choices about how my life went. Well, the 2 really go together. ...
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rtexas
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5
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995
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He Wishes!
(Preview)
Hello Everyone!! It's been a long time since I've been here and I sure have missed the MIP board! My 90 day anniversary of leaving the AH is just a couple of days away now, and things are finally moving in the right direction for me. It hasn't been easy by a long shot......
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afmom03
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2
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356
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I am feeling down tonight
(Preview)
I'm sitting here at 10:00 on a Saturday night still in my pajamas from this morning. I have been fighting depression all day. I go from sitting on the pitty pot to beating myself up for not seeing through the A and his manipulation. I've been through this so many times. Doing the same thing over and ov...
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JulieLynn
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5
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490
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Oh me oh my.....I have to quit this
(Preview)
Oh I am so sick of this behavior that never changes. Both his AH and mine. AH is a dry drunk, I honestly think it was easier when he drank, then there was something to blame his stupid selfish behavior on, now it is easy to think it is my fault. But I won't go that route again, cause it isn't me, I am better than t...
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doxie
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6
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530
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how long can this go on?
(Preview)
My guess is pretty darn long. My A has been drunk every night for I don't know how long now. The worst was the night before last. He picked me up from work and even though he was driving "OK" I could tell he had a good buzz going by the way he rudely interrupted me and talked non stop. I do not believe...
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RainyJamie
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6
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784
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Confronted my A--no visit 2--day
(Preview)
Well, My A and I were supposed to get together, here, at my place to be together on his day off. I called a few times this AM, but got no answer. I was not feeling up to par, so I went back to sleep. Noonish, I checked my phone and he left a rage-ful, alcohol-full mean message. I did call back. I said to him he didn...
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hippietrippiechick
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2
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456
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DO YOU GUILT TRIP OTHERS INTO DOING THINGS YOUR WAY?
(Preview)
Oh man in the beginning of Alanon I did whatever it took, begging, crying, pleading, "making deals" so that I would get my way. It was especially hard for me to ASK for help around the house and all its chores it involves...so I would slam dishes around in the sink,,so the A would hear,,,,as h...
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gardengal
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9
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761
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April Business Meeting Canceled
(Preview)
The business Meeting that is schedule for tonight at 9pm est has been canceled. We have no agenda therefore no issues this month. Which isnt a bad thing in my opinion Next business meeting is Scheduled for May the 5th 2007 My term is up as business chair this month so Maria123 will start as your ne...
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kerry5
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0
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296
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I did something wrong
(Preview)
I made a mistake at work a couple of days ago that could have had serious consequences. Stupidity, carelessness "I'm in a hurry I'm sure it's fine" - it wasn't fine. Now, a few days on, it looks like the fallout will be minimal - none of the really bad consequences happened. However, I've ha...
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lin0606
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5
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619
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For Luna
(Preview)
I know this is going to sound strange, but would you post this to the board asking for prayers. I'm just to sad to. Nicholas was my best friend's son. All my friend keeps asking for is prayers. Thank you. http://www.wcnc.com/news/topstories/stories/wcnc-032607-krg-logging_fatal.309e40b...
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debilyn
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10
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472
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Odd thing happened last night
(Preview)
I got an email from my husband last night. (That is kind of a weird thing to say lol) Anyway, he and a friend of ours have been emailing each other back and forth about her husband. Her husband is also an A. She and I have basically the same story when it comes to our A husbands. I see alot of my old self in h...
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melamom815
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7
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757
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Progress
(Preview)
AH called his sponser last night. His assignment is he needs to call him everyday for 30 days. Ughwere dreading this phone bill b/c this guy loves to talk. Each phone call has lasted an hour or more! His darn boss never picked him up for work this morning. AH called his recovering cousin and told him b...
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DanieH
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9
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518
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better
(Preview)
I am feeling alot better. Tuesday was the last time I lost it and called my ex ah. I saw that there was a "trigger" that happened that made me feel the need to call him and be abused. So, when the triggers came up I prayed. Please take him, I am not in control, your will not mine, this situation is n...
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serendipity
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3
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384
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transitioning is painful
(Preview)
I know one reason that I put off this transition for so so long is that I knew it would be painful. I also knew I would resent the a even more. I know absolutely these days I cannot live with his self destructive, totally disrespectful, unloving behavior anymore. I am sick of being last on the list. I am al...
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maresie2
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7
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554
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Husband now out of detox
(Preview)
My husband got out today. I have decided to be cautiously optimistic. I see everyone's replies where they tell me to work on me and get myself well. honestly, it never even occurred to me that there was anything with me. In my case, I just couldn't take his crap anymore and I basically told him that if he d...
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sash
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8
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660
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Ok Tiger2006............I'm joining the sucky week bandwagon.
(Preview)
My house is up for bids at the courthouse, we borrowed the money from my FIL and went down and paid that foreclosure. But it didn't stop the vulchers from parking in front of my house taking pictures so they can pounce on it if it did go on the market. Mind you, I have children. So then we came up with the idea t...
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Friendofyours
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4
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462
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Sobriety! ye right
(Preview)
Ok I been married and living with an active alchoholic for oh years before I ever knew about Alanon, so to this day I'm as crazy and as warped thinking as a person can get in those circumstances. Yep I done it all, I banked every wrong that he done to me with credit, and it would all spwe out of me time after tim...
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Katy
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3
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512
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Am I Just REALLY Confused???
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I haven't written for a while and a lot has happened and nothing has changed. He admits only to me, that he's an alcoholic. He knows that it's not good for him. He does know that he's done and said things that have been extremely hurtful. He talks about quitting all the time, but o...
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HadEnuff
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5
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525
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I didnt realize
(Preview)
Last night, I was driving my AH to his meeting. I noticed he took his NA book. He mentioned they read from there...I thought that was strange. I thought he was going to AA meetings...no...its NA meetings. He said in AA meetings they dont want to hear about drugs at all..or at least thats what hes been t...
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DanieH
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9
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676
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People Pleasing....Having Trouble Saying "NO" ?
(Preview)
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2001(originally published at BodyTalk Magazine.com, Aug. 2001) Do you have trouble saying NO? Do you do things for other people but almost never ask anybody to do things for you? You may be a people pleaser. People pleasers think of other peoples needs before...
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Phil
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4
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1080
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Newbie here...warning, this is gonna be LONG...
(Preview)
Okay ladies and gents...This is my first time here. My name is Teresa. I'm a 27 year old Michiganian married to an alcoholic who is in total denial of his disease and becoming increasingly depressed, angry, and emotionally abusive. Here's the long story about how I ended up here: Sunday night I we...
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Reece
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12
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590
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They won't give me the check...
(Preview)
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carolinagirl
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8
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803
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Still Powerless
(Preview)
Yes, my dear friends, Today again, I am still powerless over people, places, things and situations. That beautiful eldest daughter. Let's call her AG. AG was arrested. She was already on probation, now a possible federal offense. We, her family, refused to bail her out. Her abusive boyfriend...
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Rita G
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6
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497
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Update....
(Preview)
Well I got the car and wish I wouldn't have. It is missing 3rd and 4th gear so I really can't even sell it now. I took my new friend from work to get it and hopefully didn't scare her off with the 50 rum bottles and needles that were all over. It was truly awful and so embarrassing. I have been feeling resen...
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carolinagirl
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8
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545
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IS THIS NORMAL
(Preview)
Hi Family, I dont post often but im with you all every day reading and i hope learning,i have a question i hope you can help me with. We have been back together now since xmas,in this time our house has been drink free. Things have been a hundred percent better,he is doing his best to please ,but with no job,...
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ollie
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4
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436
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My week has absolutely SUCKED...and I can't stop laughing!
(Preview)
Oh this week has abosolutely SUCKED. Just sucked. First there were the phone messages on my cell from the past 48 hours. A sampling: "I've decided that, in light of your behavior and attitude, it would just be best for everyone if you just didn't come home anymore. Just call me when the tuition...
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Tiger2006
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6
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486
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Still shaking my head.....
(Preview)
It's sad how this rotten disease progresses, slowly but surely. As many of you may remember my A and I are separated, we have 3 children and when he is sober he is welcome to spend time with us all. (He is a binge drinker) Our 16yo daughter is proving to be handful with the usual teen rebellion. Anyway had a...
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Feather
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5
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382
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New here
(Preview)
My name is Danielle and Im 31 years old. Ive been married for almost 6 years, but weve been together for 12. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and Im 6 months pregnant w/ our 2nd girl. My husband just currently realized hes an alcoholic. I always knew something was different, but obviously I cannot tell him...
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DanieH
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8
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488
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Moving on...
(Preview)
Hello
I just wanted to give you a quick update. I haven't been posting much lately.
My divorce from my A/Cokehead husband was finalized in court on Monday. It wasn't easy... but it's done. It was supposed to be final last Monday, but at the very last minute (last Monday morning), my AH hired a lawyer...
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artygirl
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7
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484
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One Year
(Preview)
It has been one year ago today that I joined the wonderful MIP family. Wow, seems like a lot longer. Just wanted to take a moment to say "Thanks" Thanks for adding to my recovery. I have gained so much just by being a member. I have been able to do some service work, learned more about Al-Anon, ge...
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Rita G
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6
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421
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He's in jail again and the car is impounded...
(Preview)
Well now I'm kicking myself in the hiney for giving him that car as myself and my new coworker friend have to go out to myrtle beach today to pick it up from the impound. I got the call from him last night, he's in jail. This time for larceny, maybe more we'll see. The cop asked me if he was diabetic, apparentl...
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carolinagirl
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8
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525
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UPDATE ON SON
(Preview)
Took son back to the city to see the specialist. He has inflamation in his eye and was given a steroid for it. The doc couldn't tell us yet how he is going to make out as far as his vision is concerned. I went back to son's last night to give him his meds (he isn't able to do it himself) while his fiancee wasat wor...
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TLC2
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4
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464
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My husband is currently in detox
(Preview)
This is his third day in detox. He already sounds better. He will be there another 3-4 days and then he is enrolled in an intensive out-patient programs. We have dealt with his alcoholism for the las two years and I was really giving up hope. Finally he admitted his problem and agreed to go to rehab. I am tr...
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sash
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8
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570
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