Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I said the serenity prayer and begged god to give me a sign and show me what direction I need to be heading in and the phone rang and it was him. My AH just got out of jail. I didn't answer. Finally I called him at the payphone. He was stranded no money no place to stay etc. etc. He has been in this position b...

jaja · jaja

I have been doing a lot of intensive reading and thinking lately about how I came to be the way I am (co-dependent). And then how I am learning not to be that, learning to be less and less of that. I known for years that I am co-dependent, not only by being married to my A but also from being raised in...

carosie · carosie

(((family))) It works if you work it. Had that experience at work yesterday. I manage a small business(store). The owner is my best friend and was having quite the bad day. Lots of negative energy in the store. Lots of negative comments...lots of what else can go wrong.. I just kept saying to my...

gardengal · gardengal

For me it took a very long time and meetings meetings meetings to realize that no matter how I tried, I could not control or make someone do things they adamantly did no what to do. I was literally banging my head against a brick wall, but I tried over and over again. Twisting things, manipulating things s...

maresie2 · maresie2

I still have no job. I may have to go work in a gas station if needbe. I know its dangerous but living with the A for 7 years has been dangerous what with his driving (erratically and dangerously) and tantrums and more for all that time. The gas station is one place 100's of people are not applying. I've be...

Angel1 · Angel1

I read here all the time but havent posted much. I find all of the posts very helpful. I have been on this rollercoaster with my AH for about 9 months now. He has been living out of the house since August. We have 3 kids. S16, S12, D4 When my h is drinking I am not as anxious as when he is sober. When he is drinking...

Sunny2007 · Sunny2007

One of my most-often-read pages in "Courage to Change" is the entry for May 13. Here's part of that entry: "I find it much easier to risk making decisions when I stop thinking about suffering the consequences and remember that I have the option to enjoy the consequences." &quo...

Rita G · Rita G

This is a copy of an email that a recovery friend sent me yesterday. It is part of a daily devotional for Recovering Co-Dependants that she emails to a group of recovery friends. Thought it was an interesting look at relationships and conflicts. Prior to recovery, I thought that anytime there was a...

QOD · QOD

My AH text me in the middle of the night last night. I didn't get it unti this morning. "I'm glad you are over me but I am sad you are over me" "Can't say I am sorry enough. Wish I could turn back time

" "Glad u can sleep, I can't under the circumstances-love u 4ever" &quo...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I am only half joking. We in this program often say if we could just take the sickness away we would. I believe my HP "could" do that, but my HP has a reason for allowing people to learn from their actions. To choose that which is healthy for them. Work at it and feel pr...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Thank everyone for your prayers. I did sleep all night--woke up once. Tired, body sore, just trying to get myself together. To HP: thank you for this day, bless my friends and family, and help relieve me of the bondage of self. You guys are great. I belong to several other support groups online that deal...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Tell me why drugs are illegal like pot ect and drinking is still legal? I mean drinking is not valuable to anyone's life and in fact, it kills probably more then any street drug. So why is it that it's still legal? I was just wondering if you know the answer. If the advertising of alcohol were to stop on bill...

sash · sash

Vivatrol is a once a month shot the alcoholic takes that greatly reduces or eliminates the craving for alcohol. This as well as participation in AA and out-patient therapy really seems to be doing the trick for my husband. At first I was skeptical, and I am not trying to be naive, but my husband has bee...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) I have made it a habit lately of starting my day by reading this prayer. Today I am concentrating on the passage "... Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me...." It is an old Cherokee prayer I have had stashed away for a while now. I have posted it be...

TLC2 · TLC2

Took son to see the specialist today. His vision is improving!!!!! He's still umcompfortable a bit, but is healing quite well. The doc said it will just take time. He couldn't tell us if his vision will come back to the way it was, but he is now seeing 20/30. He may have to wear glasses or a contact lens, but...

afglin · afglin

Some of you may have heard me share at a meeting on Sunday that I had a dog that was very sick. He died today. We are pretty sure he had pancreatic cancer. He was sick less than a week. Most of that time he was at the vet on IV and pain meds. I'm glad he is not in pain and was not in pain when he died. I am glad he was no...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex sent me a text today. he's never done that before. he hasn't even called since sunday which i was grateful for. the thing is i was looking at houses to buy. looked at like 6. fell in love with 2 that are out of my price range. that's me champagne taste and boone's farm buget! and so before i could even sav...

barisax · barisax

Hi all remember me.... Barisax... sober AA, fully qualified member of Alanon, long term single with a good start on a relationship for the first time in <mumble> years. She is not an alcoholic! She has been to a couple of open AA meetings with me, which she enjoyed, but I think I convinced her, s...

lilms · lilms

Alright Diva, I ordered the book!!!!!

lilms

lilms · lilms

((((((Friends))))))) I saw a book online that I would really like to own. In the store it would be $42 dollars and change. Online with shipping it is less than $30. So off I go to the store and buy an online gift card for this particular site so I can order the book. And now here is the problem. I feel TERR...

angel123 · angel123

1992 from our Forum

Sunny2007 · Sunny2007

To Everyone in the meeting shown in the title of this post ... Thank you for being present so that I could have a meeting right before going to see what the CAT scan of my brain would show. Thank you for your prayers and support in the meeting. I took with me to my appointment something to remind me that all...

DanieH · DanieH

Last night, I attended my first Naranon meeting. It went very well. There was a group of about 20 of us and anyone w/ 6 meetings or under went to another room w/ a leader. There was a total of 5 of us...and everyone had a different situation. After the leader told us her story, I was the first to go. I didnt eve...

ally · ally

((((((((((GUYS))))))))))))))) IF YOU NOTICE, THIS NOTICE, YOU WILL NOTICE, THAT THIS NOTICE, IS NOT WORTH NOTICING..... Im sorry.......childhood memory just came back to me.....

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Dear Friends, Sorry I have been so absent of late, life has been a roller coaster ride as of late... In a great way most of the time... I found a new job, love it secretarial again...my thing...crazy hours...but much fun.. Have a new wonderful man in my life...he is just awesome..self employed,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just read a story in the education section of the NY Times, about young ladies today graduating high school and the pressures they face to get into college. I didn't realize how hard the story hit me till I finished it. All of the sudden, waves of feeling "less than," "not enough,&quo...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Oh boy, where do I start.....I have been taking pain meds for over a year. Vicodin ES to be exact. Ever since I had my son and thirteen months later gave birth to my twins, my back has hurt really bad to the point that it can make me sick to my stomach. So I do have legitimate pain. Here's my concern......One v...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"I think little Sarah is still waiting for Daddy to come home. It would be wise for you to realize the fact that he's never coming home. He's already home. This is him." The immortal words of my councelor in session yesterday, which hit hard on my morning 10th step. And oh, how the words pour...

serendipity · serendipity

I am getting better. My mother came over yesterday to watch the kids while I work. She's great about stepping in when my ex decides to step out. Well, not great but she does it, complaining all the while and not putting them to bed at any reasonable hour and feeding them only turkey bacon and noodles and bu...

gknee · gknee

I haven't been on this board for a while-- but as I sat here this AM telling my H that I don't think I want to do this marriage thing anymore if he can't see that he is an addict---- I realized this is exactly where I need to be. The problem for me is that my A is really a marijuana addict (daily) who sup...

carolena · carolena

Hi everyone, I've been trying and trying to put a message on here and can't seem to do it. I'm in a lot of pain with letting go of my daughters and granddaughter. When I try to post, I find myself not able to express what I'm going through without writing a book, so I'm writing about breaking the cyc...

bev · bev

hi everyone,sorry i havent posted in awhile but as you all know i left my AH AND MOVED FROM FLORIDA BACK TO NY..but im doing good..AH is in rehab in florida and doing very well..he is going to church and doing meetings,and doing what he has to do.where he is they have a 3 step program..the first step is like...

Leetle · Leetle

Well, I have told my A that when he is released from jail he cannot come home. Leading up to that conversation I had a lot of anxiety. Working out my plans with those I trust. Initially I worried horribly about my ability to keep the boundaries I was setting and even moreso about the consequences (he ca...

angel123 · angel123

These are from our Forum,Refreshing to me to read each day hope you enjoy as well Love Sharon/angel

QOD · QOD

Thanks to all for the sharing. My AH came over for dinner tonight. TACOS. He came right in and hugged me & snuck a kiss in on me. Then he laughed at how he did that. BLAH. So I was in the middle of making dinner when my cell phone rang. He was standing right by it and saw a guy's name come up. A guy from t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

"If you can't feel loved, settle for being needed" I just read that in Codependant no More. It spoke out a little to me. I remember, not too far into my marriage, wanting to soak up love like a sponge, and just not FEELING it. So I became a little desperate for him to feel pleased with me. I looked...

maresie2 · maresie2

Why is that now I am contemplating life on my own I feel tremendous fear. I lived quite ok on my own for years before I met the A. I now think I am not capable of it. I have been trying to fashion another fail safe plan. I do not want to be stuck living with the A. He is moving to some remote area. Everything in his l...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Tomorrow is my beloved Pipers Kitty 4th birthday. It is also my 3rd anniversary with hubby. When I think back where we were a year ago, I am stunned by the changes in me and in my life. I was incredibly unhappy and sad because he was still drinking and I thought it would never end....

angel123 · angel123

This is from the forum...Hope it works love angel

Phil · Phil

The ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or depende...

rtexas · rtexas

Hello ((((((Everyone)))))) My new found skill in sticking to my boundries has been tested to the bitter end over the past few weeks. For those that don't know, my AW and I are seperated and have been for 5 months now. She has learned to talk the talk of getting better (getting help and getting sober), b...

doxie · doxie

As I continue to work out my recovery in my way and my time there are some things that bother me more than others, so those are the things that I pray on(cause that is what I do....:) I am really working on my attitude with my AH, that is something that really drives me nuts, not to mention it drives him nuts al...

gimmpy · gimmpy

I find myself hoping that my 19 year old isn't at home when I return from work etc. I am so tired, her and her friends are very disrespectful. I have told her no drugs and drinking in this house, both myself and husband are in recovery and we have other children as well. And it continues, she even puts empty...

QOD · QOD

My AH doesn't seem to want to let go of our relationship. I told him a week ago that it was over. That I didn't see us getting back together. That I still love him but it isn't the same.He seems to grasp this concept for a few days and then WHAM, right back to the same ol' crap. He loves me, misses me, so lone...

angel123 · angel123

This is From the Forum 1989,hope you are enjoying the pages posted.love Angel

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

Literature coodinators have received word that WSO is still looking for shares for the next book-in-progress, whose working title is "Recovery in Relationships". CAL literature (and in fact our whole Alanon program) depend on members sharing their own experience, strength and hope...

serendipity · serendipity

i made the boundry that my ex ah could not see or have any contact with me or the kids. if he wants to see them i need something legal. he has called a few times and i don't say anything just "get a lawyer". it was hard for me but it got easier. yesterday he called and asked to speak to the kids and i sai...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, now that my A has not been living w/ me, it has gotten worse, but in a different way. I say I do not miss the nightly chaos that can spring up at a drunken moment, or when I have had enough, not taking my meds right and flipping out. I think him even being here aggravates my mental illness. For one, I have f...

albertarose · albertarose

Last week I was full of sorrow about my AH and I splitting up and possibly heading to the divorce courts. This past weekend I spent the entire weekend with him and he has told me that after his two binges ober tyhe past two or three weeks he has realized that he is not happy and he wants a better life. /he said t...

david62 · david62

Hi (((((Family))))) I got the following in an email and thought it had a beautiful message so decided to share it with you. (Have the kleenex ready, I needed it!) A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside of her patient. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to rep...

DanieH · DanieH

Yesterday was exactly 1 week that AH has been clean. I know you have to take one day at a time, but Im sooo proud of him. He was suppose to go to a meeting w/ his cousin friday night, but his cousin got home late, so the 3 of us went food shopping instead. Of course, we had to drive through the college area, so a bu...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to wish all of you who celebrate Passover this week, a blessed and joyous Passover. I have been honored to observe it and participate in it with dear friends, and it truly is wonderful. Love and blessings to you and your families. Live strong, Karilynn & Pi...

Miranda · Miranda

One of my closest guy friends, Eric, shot himself last night. There were no signs... I haven't even really had a chance to talk to him since I left school months ago...Every once in a while, we'd talk on the phone, and he even came to visit the kids after the twins were born. He never led on any indication th...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I posted earlier about how it sucked that I was working nights while A hung out and worked on his beer belly. A few people replied that I need to hold my priorities; take care of me, my family, and my home. I appreciate this and it is a good way to keep things in perspective. I switched my scheduling. I work...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have just been gone a few days and come back to get a few more things. The house is a real mess. The A immediately steps in with what I have contributed to the mess as soon as I get in the door. The electricity is going to be cut off. He just lays around and watches the few channels he can get on TV. His favori...

lonelymom · lonelymom

Hi I just found this board and read some. I felt after reading some posts that so many people would understand what I was going through and right now I feel like nobody does. He has been drinking for the last 2 years, it has gotten worse and worse. He blames me for EVERYTHING, it's always my fault, he's neve...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((((yo roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) WOW!!!! I feel as if I have been on a journey the last few weeks. I have grown so much in my life...Also I have grown up...lol Well, my anti-deps are working, I'm accepting I am just like everyone else "Normal"..... I...

Jayda · Jayda

I'm feeling like things are pretty hopeless right now. Like I said last month, my husband left me, found out he's been talking to another woman....just talking he says and says he has stopped talking to her and that he will not have any contact with her again. But he still doesn't want to get back togethe...

donewithitallandhappy · donewithitallandhappy

I am continuing to rebuild a much happier life- moved into a new house, my job is going great, and I just keep getting better news about my health. Got the phone call from my mom that I knew would come soon. I made the decision to NOT talk to my mom about my sister's family's problems because I was burned year...

sash · sash

As you may know, my husband got out of detox on Thurs. He's been to at least one meeting a day since he left (Fri. he went to two). Last night he suggested that we attend this couples meeting. I didn't know what to expect because this is all so new for me. Basically, it is a meeting of mostly AA members and...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I asked HP for a sign and the phone rang... (Preview) I said the serenity prayer and begged god to give me a sign and show me what direction I need to be heading in and the phone rang and it was him. My AH just got out of jail. I didn't answer. Finally I called him at the payphone. He was stranded no money no place to stay etc. etc. He has been in this position b...	carolinagirl	8	749	Apr 7, 2007 by debilyn
	There's acceptance and then there's acceptance (kinda long) (Preview) I have been doing a lot of intensive reading and thinking lately about how I came to be the way I am (co-dependent). And then how I am learning not to be that, learning to be less and less of that. I known for years that I am co-dependent, not only by being married to my A but also from being raised in...	jaja	1	475	Apr 7, 2007 by abbyal
	let it begin with me (Preview) (((family))) It works if you work it. Had that experience at work yesterday. I manage a small business(store). The owner is my best friend and was having quite the bad day. Lots of negative energy in the store. Lots of negative comments...lots of what else can go wrong.. I just kept saying to my...	carosie	1	414	Apr 7, 2007 by Leetle
	HOW DO YOU LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS??? (Preview) For me it took a very long time and meetings meetings meetings to realize that no matter how I tried, I could not control or make someone do things they adamantly did no what to do. I was literally banging my head against a brick wall, but I tried over and over again. Twisting things, manipulating things s...	gardengal	6	593	Apr 6, 2007 by nmike
	Panic subsides (Preview) I still have no job. I may have to go work in a gas station if needbe. I know its dangerous but living with the A for 7 years has been dangerous what with his driving (erratically and dangerously) and tantrums and more for all that time. The gas station is one place 100's of people are not applying. I've be...	maresie2	4	395	Apr 6, 2007 by nmike
	expectations? (sorry long) (Preview) I read here all the time but havent posted much. I find all of the posts very helpful. I have been on this rollercoaster with my AH for about 9 months now. He has been living out of the house since August. We have 3 kids. S16, S12, D4 When my h is drinking I am not as anxious as when he is sober. When he is drinking...	Angel1	8	788	Apr 6, 2007 by LaDawn
	Choosing to enjoy the consequences (Preview) One of my most-often-read pages in "Courage to Change" is the entry for May 13. Here's part of that entry: "I find it much easier to risk making decisions when I stop thinking about suffering the consequences and remember that I have the option to enjoy the consequences." &quo...	Sunny2007	7	690	Apr 6, 2007 by Sunny2007
	Negotiating Conflicts (Preview) This is a copy of an email that a recovery friend sent me yesterday. It is part of a daily devotional for Recovering Co-Dependants that she emails to a group of recovery friends. Thought it was an interesting look at relationships and conflicts. Prior to recovery, I thought that anytime there was a...	Rita G	3	572	Apr 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	I am not going to respond to his text (Preview) My AH text me in the middle of the night last night. I didn't get it unti this morning. "I'm glad you are over me but I am sad you are over me" "Can't say I am sorry enough. Wish I could turn back time " "Glad u can sleep, I can't under the circumstances-love u 4ever" &quo...	QOD	7	676	Apr 6, 2007 by maresie2
	If I was her HP, would I do anything different? (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I am only half joking. We in this program often say if we could just take the sickness away we would. I believe my HP "could" do that, but my HP has a reason for allowing people to learn from their actions. To choose that which is healthy for them. Work at it and feel pr...	rtexas	7	1331	Apr 6, 2007 by chris52
	feel a little better--now prayer works (Preview) Thank everyone for your prayers. I did sleep all night--woke up once. Tired, body sore, just trying to get myself together. To HP: thank you for this day, bless my friends and family, and help relieve me of the bondage of self. You guys are great. I belong to several other support groups online that deal...	hippietrippiechick	0	386	Apr 6, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	Can you answer this? (Preview) Tell me why drugs are illegal like pot ect and drinking is still legal? I mean drinking is not valuable to anyone's life and in fact, it kills probably more then any street drug. So why is it that it's still legal? I was just wondering if you know the answer. If the advertising of alcohol were to stop on bill...	Friendofyours	11	676	Apr 6, 2007 by Alanoner
	Vivatrol (Preview) Vivatrol is a once a month shot the alcoholic takes that greatly reduces or eliminates the craving for alcohol. This as well as participation in AA and out-patient therapy really seems to be doing the trick for my husband. At first I was skeptical, and I am not trying to be naive, but my husband has bee...	sash	11	2863	Apr 5, 2007 by sash
	Sharing my prayer today.... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) I have made it a habit lately of starting my day by reading this prayer. Today I am concentrating on the passage "... Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me...." It is an old Cherokee prayer I have had stashed away for a while now. I have posted it be...	rtexas	8	431	Apr 5, 2007 by wp
	Thank-you for your prayers! (Preview) Took son to see the specialist today. His vision is improving!!!!! He's still umcompfortable a bit, but is healing quite well. The doc said it will just take time. He couldn't tell us if his vision will come back to the way it was, but he is now seeing 20/30. He may have to wear glasses or a contact lens, but...	TLC2	6	410	Apr 5, 2007 by wp
	Smokey (Preview) Some of you may have heard me share at a meeting on Sunday that I had a dog that was very sick. He died today. We are pretty sure he had pancreatic cancer. He was sick less than a week. Most of that time he was at the vet on IV and pain meds. I'm glad he is not in pain and was not in pain when he died. I am glad he was no...	afglin	12	520	Apr 5, 2007 by afglin
	text message (Preview) my ex sent me a text today. he's never done that before. he hasn't even called since sunday which i was grateful for. the thing is i was looking at houses to buy. looked at like 6. fell in love with 2 that are out of my price range. that's me champagne taste and boone's farm buget! and so before i could even sav...	serendipity	5	783	Apr 5, 2007 by lin0606
	I Introduced Her to Alanon (Preview) Hi all remember me.... Barisax... sober AA, fully qualified member of Alanon, long term single with a good start on a relationship for the first time in <mumble> years. She is not an alcoholic! She has been to a couple of open AA meetings with me, which she enjoyed, but I think I convinced her, s...	barisax	6	638	Apr 5, 2007 by barisax
	I Don't Want to be Beat Up (Preview) Alright Diva, I ordered the book!!!!! lilms	lilms	5	597	Apr 5, 2007 by Rita G
	FINDING IT HARD DOING FOR ME (Preview) ((((((Friends))))))) I saw a book online that I would really like to own. In the store it would be $42 dollars and change. Online with shipping it is less than $30. So off I go to the store and buy an online gift card for this particular site so I can order the book. And now here is the problem. I feel TERR...	lilms	5	629	Apr 5, 2007 by Rita G
	Live and Let live (slogan) (Preview) 1992 from our Forum	angel123	1	1512	Apr 5, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Thanks & Update for Everyone in TUESDAY,3April07,9AM EASTERN Time meeting (Preview) To Everyone in the meeting shown in the title of this post ... Thank you for being present so that I could have a meeting right before going to see what the CAT scan of my brain would show. Thank you for your prayers and support in the meeting. I took with me to my appointment something to remind me that all...	Sunny2007	7	1086	Apr 5, 2007 by aunitedway
	Attend my first meeting (Preview) Last night, I attended my first Naranon meeting. It went very well. There was a group of about 20 of us and anyone w/ 6 meetings or under went to another room w/ a leader. There was a total of 5 of us...and everyone had a different situation. After the leader told us her story, I was the first to go. I didnt eve...	DanieH	4	708	Apr 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	NOTICE (Preview) ((((((((((GUYS))))))))))))))) IF YOU NOTICE, THIS NOTICE, YOU WILL NOTICE, THAT THIS NOTICE, IS NOT WORTH NOTICING..... Im sorry.......childhood memory just came back to me.....	ally	3	506	Apr 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	Miss you all (Preview) Hello Dear Friends, Sorry I have been so absent of late, life has been a roller coaster ride as of late... In a great way most of the time... I found a new job, love it secretarial again...my thing...crazy hours...but much fun.. Have a new wonderful man in my life...he is just awesome..self employed,...	Andrea12	13	709	Apr 5, 2007 by Diva
	anyone else here face insecurity? daily? momentarily? anyone? (Preview) Just read a story in the education section of the NY Times, about young ladies today graduating high school and the pressures they face to get into college. I didn't realize how hard the story hit me till I finished it. All of the sudden, waves of feeling "less than," "not enough,&quo...	Tiger2006	8	1066	Apr 5, 2007 by Sunny2007
	I'm adding fuel to my own fire. (Preview) Oh boy, where do I start.....I have been taking pain meds for over a year. Vicodin ES to be exact. Ever since I had my son and thirteen months later gave birth to my twins, my back has hurt really bad to the point that it can make me sick to my stomach. So I do have legitimate pain. Here's my concern......One v...	Friendofyours	4	547	Apr 5, 2007 by abbyal
	The denial fog lifts. Again. (Preview) "I think little Sarah is still waiting for Daddy to come home. It would be wise for you to realize the fact that he's never coming home. He's already home. This is him." The immortal words of my councelor in session yesterday, which hit hard on my morning 10th step. And oh, how the words pour...	Tiger2006	4	630	Apr 4, 2007 by nmike
	my mother (Preview) I am getting better. My mother came over yesterday to watch the kids while I work. She's great about stepping in when my ex decides to step out. Well, not great but she does it, complaining all the while and not putting them to bed at any reasonable hour and feeding them only turkey bacon and noodles and bu...	serendipity	5	609	Apr 4, 2007 by Lunamoth
	why alanon is hard for me (Preview) I haven't been on this board for a while-- but as I sat here this AM telling my H that I don't think I want to do this marriage thing anymore if he can't see that he is an addict---- I realized this is exactly where I need to be. The problem for me is that my A is really a marijuana addict (daily) who sup...	gknee	6	1292	Apr 4, 2007 by gknee
	Breaking the Cycle, letting go, painful (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been trying and trying to put a message on here and can't seem to do it. I'm in a lot of pain with letting go of my daughters and granddaughter. When I try to post, I find myself not able to express what I'm going through without writing a book, so I'm writing about breaking the cyc...	carolena	4	634	Apr 4, 2007 by carolena
	life goes on (Preview) hi everyone,sorry i havent posted in awhile but as you all know i left my AH AND MOVED FROM FLORIDA BACK TO NY..but im doing good..AH is in rehab in florida and doing very well..he is going to church and doing meetings,and doing what he has to do.where he is they have a 3 step program..the first step is like...	bev	4	534	Apr 4, 2007 by Maria123
	Painful Progress (Preview) Well, I have told my A that when he is released from jail he cannot come home. Leading up to that conversation I had a lot of anxiety. Working out my plans with those I trust. Initially I worried horribly about my ability to keep the boundaries I was setting and even moreso about the consequences (he ca...	Leetle	7	665	Apr 4, 2007 by Maria123
	Step 2 and Each new Day (Preview) These are from our Forum,Refreshing to me to read each day hope you enjoy as well Love Sharon/angel	angel123	1	383	Apr 4, 2007 by Sunny2007
	My AH won't let go - UPDATE! (Preview) Thanks to all for the sharing. My AH came over for dinner tonight. TACOS. He came right in and hugged me & snuck a kiss in on me. Then he laughed at how he did that. BLAH. So I was in the middle of making dinner when my cell phone rang. He was standing right by it and saw a guy's name come up. A guy from t...	QOD	7	619	Apr 4, 2007 by DanieH
	settling (Preview) "If you can't feel loved, settle for being needed" I just read that in Codependant no More. It spoke out a little to me. I remember, not too far into my marriage, wanting to soak up love like a sponge, and just not FEELING it. So I became a little desperate for him to feel pleased with me. I looked...	RainyJamie	4	360	Apr 4, 2007 by ally
	fear fear fear (Preview) Why is that now I am contemplating life on my own I feel tremendous fear. I lived quite ok on my own for years before I met the A. I now think I am not capable of it. I have been trying to fashion another fail safe plan. I do not want to be stuck living with the A. He is moving to some remote area. Everything in his l...	maresie2	8	626	Apr 4, 2007 by TLC2
	An extra special Pipers Kitty Day (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Tomorrow is my beloved Pipers Kitty 4th birthday. It is also my 3rd anniversary with hubby. When I think back where we were a year ago, I am stunned by the changes in me and in my life. I was incredibly unhappy and sad because he was still drinking and I thought it would never end....	Karilynn	11	898	Apr 4, 2007 by aunitedway
	THINK (Preview) This is from the forum...Hope it works love angel	angel123	5	439	Apr 4, 2007 by aunitedway
	Another Article Share..re...Detatchment (Preview) The ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or depende...	Phil	6	720	Apr 4, 2007 by Rita G
	New lease.... (Preview) Hello ((((((Everyone)))))) My new found skill in sticking to my boundries has been tested to the bitter end over the past few weeks. For those that don't know, my AW and I are seperated and have been for 5 months now. She has learned to talk the talk of getting better (getting help and getting sober), b...	rtexas	8	579	Apr 4, 2007 by twinmom2
	Working out my recovery in my own way (Preview) As I continue to work out my recovery in my way and my time there are some things that bother me more than others, so those are the things that I pray on(cause that is what I do....:) I am really working on my attitude with my AH, that is something that really drives me nuts, not to mention it drives him nuts al...	doxie	3	611	Apr 4, 2007 by mel123
	feeling bad about how I'm feeling (Preview) I find myself hoping that my 19 year old isn't at home when I return from work etc. I am so tired, her and her friends are very disrespectful. I have told her no drugs and drinking in this house, both myself and husband are in recovery and we have other children as well. And it continues, she even puts empty...	gimmpy	6	586	Apr 4, 2007 by Hopeless in AZ
	My AH won't let go! (Preview) My AH doesn't seem to want to let go of our relationship. I told him a week ago that it was over. That I didn't see us getting back together. That I still love him but it isn't the same.He seems to grasp this concept for a few days and then WHAM, right back to the same ol' crap. He loves me, misses me, so lone...	QOD	10	671	Apr 3, 2007 by serendipity
	Step 1 (Preview) This is From the Forum 1989,hope you are enjoying the pages posted.love Angel	angel123	4	518	Apr 3, 2007 by angel123
	"RECOVERY IN RELATIONSHIPS" -be part of next CAL book (Preview) Literature coodinators have received word that WSO is still looking for shares for the next book-in-progress, whose working title is "Recovery in Relationships". CAL literature (and in fact our whole Alanon program) depend on members sharing their own experience, strength and hope...	thinkstoomuch	0	356	Apr 3, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	boundry (Preview) i made the boundry that my ex ah could not see or have any contact with me or the kids. if he wants to see them i need something legal. he has called a few times and i don't say anything just "get a lawyer". it was hard for me but it got easier. yesterday he called and asked to speak to the kids and i sai...	serendipity	2	402	Apr 3, 2007 by Rita G
	NEED TO GIVE MY A AN ULTIMAUM--NEED SOME ESH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Well, now that my A has not been living w/ me, it has gotten worse, but in a different way. I say I do not miss the nightly chaos that can spring up at a drunken moment, or when I have had enough, not taking my meds right and flipping out. I think him even being here aggravates my mental illness. For one, I have f...	hippietrippiechick	14	800	Apr 3, 2007 by Friendofyours
	What a Turnaround (Preview) Last week I was full of sorrow about my AH and I splitting up and possibly heading to the divorce courts. This past weekend I spent the entire weekend with him and he has told me that after his two binges ober tyhe past two or three weeks he has realized that he is not happy and he wants a better life. /he said t...	albertarose	5	581	Apr 3, 2007 by DanieH
	Just Being There (Preview) Hi (((((Family))))) I got the following in an email and thought it had a beautiful message so decided to share it with you. (Have the kleenex ready, I needed it!) A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside of her patient. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to rep...	david62	10	615	Apr 2, 2007 by MaggiG
	1 week (Preview) Yesterday was exactly 1 week that AH has been clean. I know you have to take one day at a time, but Im sooo proud of him. He was suppose to go to a meeting w/ his cousin friday night, but his cousin got home late, so the 3 of us went food shopping instead. Of course, we had to drive through the college area, so a bu...	DanieH	8	449	Apr 2, 2007 by albertarose
	Passover (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to wish all of you who celebrate Passover this week, a blessed and joyous Passover. I have been honored to observe it and participate in it with dear friends, and it truly is wonderful. Love and blessings to you and your families. Live strong, Karilynn & Pi...	Karilynn	4	364	Apr 2, 2007 by Leetle
	My friend shot himself last night... (Preview) One of my closest guy friends, Eric, shot himself last night. There were no signs... I haven't even really had a chance to talk to him since I left school months ago...Every once in a while, we'd talk on the phone, and he even came to visit the kids after the twins were born. He never led on any indication th...	Miranda	15	847	Apr 2, 2007 by TLC2
	making a change (Preview) I posted earlier about how it sucked that I was working nights while A hung out and worked on his beer belly. A few people replied that I need to hold my priorities; take care of me, my family, and my home. I appreciate this and it is a good way to keep things in perspective. I switched my scheduling. I work...	RainyJamie	1	362	Apr 2, 2007 by Barbs45
	being out of the way of the A (Preview) I have just been gone a few days and come back to get a few more things. The house is a real mess. The A immediately steps in with what I have contributed to the mess as soon as I get in the door. The electricity is going to be cut off. He just lays around and watches the few channels he can get on TV. His favori...	maresie2	9	535	Apr 2, 2007 by megan
	new here...feel so alone (Preview) Hi I just found this board and read some. I felt after reading some posts that so many people would understand what I was going through and right now I feel like nobody does. He has been drinking for the last 2 years, it has gotten worse and worse. He blames me for EVERYTHING, it's always my fault, he's neve...	lonelymom	9	651	Apr 2, 2007 by gardengal
	WATCH HOW I'M GROWING (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((yo roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) WOW!!!! I feel as if I have been on a journey the last few weeks. I have grown so much in my life...Also I have grown up...lol Well, my anti-deps are working, I'm accepting I am just like everyone else "Normal"..... I...	ally	5	664	Apr 2, 2007 by CJ
	Can't seem to catch a break (Preview) I'm feeling like things are pretty hopeless right now. Like I said last month, my husband left me, found out he's been talking to another woman....just talking he says and says he has stopped talking to her and that he will not have any contact with her again. But he still doesn't want to get back togethe...	Jayda	4	582	Apr 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	News about my niece and sister (Preview) I am continuing to rebuild a much happier life- moved into a new house, my job is going great, and I just keep getting better news about my health. Got the phone call from my mom that I knew would come soon. I made the decision to NOT talk to my mom about my sister's family's problems because I was burned year...	donewithitallandhappy	1	537	Apr 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	Attended a couples meeting last night (Preview) As you may know, my husband got out of detox on Thurs. He's been to at least one meeting a day since he left (Fri. he went to two). Last night he suggested that we attend this couples meeting. I didn't know what to expect because this is all so new for me. Basically, it is a meeting of mostly AA members and...	sash	4	641	Apr 2, 2007 by DanieH
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.