The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found this on an alzheimer's site I frequent because of my husband's illness. Sounds al-anon to me. Maybe you have read it before, maybe not! Anyway I thought it was worth posting.
Letting Go
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I cannot do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I cannot control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my own desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but grow and live for the future.
I just love this piece. I found it myself not long after I joined MIP and posted it for the same reason as you. It really helped me to get things into perspective when my thinking was so muddled up. It took me a longer time to actually put it into practise...and I still struggle with letting go and then snatching it back again............LOL.
((((danz)))) you're always in my thoughts and prayers.!! i remember someone giving me this mid-last year while caring for my mother. the doctors and her (pysciatrist?) thought she had dimentia,(leading her into alzheimers) but after more testing it revealed it was her ammonia levels from her liver rejecting. caused her to not be able to think clearly.... lots of confusion. but it was her liver shutting down after so many years of giving her many blessed years of life (she was a transplant recipient back in 93 from pbc,non alcohol related)... these years here with me were ones that she would not of had with us,((( with me))) and i have to say i loved her being close. she was not just my mom, she was my friend.
i read many many books on care and how to keep myself in tack...... but it was this poem (or one very very much like it..lol.) that i kept in my glovebox and read as i sat and rested when i could.
i, in reading, found that dementia/short term memory loss and alzheimers are alll so similiar to one another and the caregiver is the one that needs to be sure to recognize when its time to stop and let the body rest tooo. you can give yourself high blood pressure, heart palipatatons and bronchitis... from notnrealizing that your running on empty... taking caring for yourself. (by resting, eating right, getting some fresh air and getting away from time to time... you can save your life too.) the continuity of it all...... is trying. please be sure you have some other forms of support (VNA?) and are able to rest and eat well for yourself.
(((((God Love You)))) stay strong and know we're here for you. love you very much. your friend in recovery. aunitedway
Maybe you have read it before, maybe not! Anyway I thought it was worth posting.
with me))) and i have to say i loved her being close. she was not just my mom, she was my friend.