Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lin0606 · lin0606

Found out a few days ago that my husband has pancreatic cancer. I am trying to stay optimistic until we have seen the oncologist (next week) and started some treatment, but the chances are pretty good that he is dying. This is a famously bad cancer, and it has already spread. I'm finding that there are...

serendipity · serendipity

So, my ex ah is seeing someone new. A new woman to enable him. The last convo I had with him which was Wednesday I lost it. I was sucked into the insanity. I had asked him if he signed the divorce papers and he said yes. Well, I call my lawyer daily and he never returns my calls. This has been going on for a year wi...

TLM · TLM

Last night in a meeting someone was talking about a God Box, which reminded me... I used to use what I referred to as a God Can (I can't, but God CAN). I figured I still had it kicking around somewhere, and sure enough, on a shelf in my closet was my God Can. So I opened it up and looked inside... I was amazed a...

Leetle · Leetle

This has been the first week of the rest of my life. I have set clear boundaries with my A ex b/f. He is keeping to most of them. I have been working through the chaos he has tried to lay at my feet. Mainly by stepping over it and moving on (of course, that is after I have a freak out in my head and with my poor...

Angel1 · Angel1

hi my AH is 30 days sober tomorrow. He went 68 days sober out of rehab before relapsing so this is not a HUGE milestone except he is going to AA and working the steps this time. My issue....When he is drunk he is affectionate, remorseful, tells me he loves me, misses me (we have been seperated since August)...

maresie2 · maresie2

In his usual dramatic fashion the A claims to be leaving today. He wanted me to pack for him last night. I did not as I have to work today. He has now switched his answering machine off so I don't know whether he has left or not. He's left no forwarding address and I don't know when he starts work or anythin...

sash · sash

How do you let go of the anger? I attended a family counseling group last night at my husband's out-patient rehab. At first I told them that things between us has been about 75% better. The groups topic last night was communication. As the session went on, I realized that I kept my anger about th...

ally · ally

(((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) Yo, Having a wonderful time.....Went on the plane...was awesome.....Sunshine most days..Had a thunderstorm one night...OMG it was horrendous.. Went out for a walk on my own, got lost..lol I have been getting so much from here.. Watching all the sick in Lour...

newday · newday

I found this on the AA board and it has made my day and possibly life brighter. Thanks Phil... Kicky Come Here---Go Away.. As long as we have not healed our childhood wounds then there are a lot more than two people involved in our relationships. There may only be two people in the room - but the room is al...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Words to Consider The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of life. --Carl Jung Let the Power Work through You The times that life works best are when we get out of the way and let the power work through us. The writer says of an inspired shor...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi Everyone)))) Haven't been here in a while, my life has been busy busy... but just wanted to let you all know that this board is a lifesaver. This time last year, I was a scared, horrified, panic-stricken person who wanted nothing but to dwell on my horrible life and the possibility that I would hav...

simplyme · simplyme

Hey guys. I'm new around here and I'm so glad you are all here. I went to my first al-anon meeting last night, but I've been to CODA in the past so I'm not a stranger to the steps or the healing. I was raised by an A father and later had a very intense 3 year relationship with A who I loved dearly but who finally...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

A fiance sends me a text message saying: "FYI - I MIGHT have 2 go 2 work tomorrow morn - will let u know. But afterwards @ 4pm, Q is pickin me up 2 go and get sum shoes and do sum other stuff. Jus fyi. Tryin 2 communicate" That selfish BASTARD! He has not picked our son up ONCE this week from the si...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

Hi everybody, Well, today I think I have been more 'confused' and had the most mixture of feelings than I have since I started Al-anon. I'm assuming this is normal. Last night A fiance got home. He looked like crap. I just look into his eyes and see despair, sadness, hurt, pain. I had a talk with him an...

cac · cac

Just wanted to post an update on my situation. My husband admitted himself into rehab on Friday night. He is there and seems to be doing well. His counselor and RN said that he is motivated and has a positive attitude. They keep him very busy with meetings, lectures, group and individual therapy. ...

TLM · TLM

I lost it! Two nights ago it was my mothers birthday, and my AH decided to drink some shots of whisky before going out to dinner with the family. Did I detach with love or even with a hatchet? Not even close. I went off. I started slamming doors and yelling at him about how sick I am of him letting me down...

Becky1 · Becky1

Sat. and Sun. were pretty good days for my AH and I. Went to dinner Sat. nite at a non-alcohol restaurant, went out to a fast food breakfast Sun. and to look at new Plasma TV's ( I get a discount where I work, plus $$$ to spend towards it!) Got home, went over to friend's house with him to watch race, took munc...

Kim65 · Kim65

I have been STRUGGLING daily with a depressed feeling for a couple of weeks, low energy, obsessing in the same old way about the A, feeling like I'm in a stuffy cotton bag. Not long ago I made a breakthrough in terms of detatchment and felt some blessed peace . . . but since I threw a mega temper tantrum at t...

everydayjane · everydayjane

This is my first time on this website. I hope that it helps, i feel like I'm all alone in this and it's hard to talk about. I have never fully told this story to anyone and I hope that I'm not really the only one in the world that feels like this. So here is my story: My husband realized that he was an alcoholi...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

Last night I read the first chapter in Melody Beattie's Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps. I read Psalm 21 and the Lord put this poem in my heart. Lift me up Lord and clear my heavy mind Release me from this bondage and take away my cries my heart is full of anger consumed with resentment and hate and...

gimmpy · gimmpy

I once again told my daughter that there's no drinking, drugs, boy friends spending the night, or foul mouth garbage, etc. I said I will call the police if needed. The breaker was that her boy friend is not welcomed here, especially spending the night. She said we were f.... ing pissing her off and sh...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I was just thinking.....when I was with myA I used to post my crisis situations on this board and got great help from you all. This helped me through so much. We sperated four months ago. He's still drinking himself to death, not doing very well. He says he knows the disease will take him. Sad...

debilyn · debilyn

ver are yee my dahling??? love,debilyn

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

First, I want to thank everyone on this board who posts. I have learned so much from you all. I have learned that my "feelings" are quite normal and that the most important thing I can do is not continuously worry about my ex A b/f, but instead to worry about myself and MY recovery from all I'v...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

Hello everybody, Today I woke up with such a high hope in my heart. Yesterday I went to the bookstore and picked up Melody Beattie's Codeependents Guide To The Twelve Steps. WOW...what an awesome book filled with allowing you to see the revelations that have been there all along. I read the first cha...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

The amount of anger and rage I have for my AH today could probably power the entire city. Just came back from the body shop, this A... hole caused 5K worth of damage to my van. Not to mention I have to sell my home, and probably go through 7 years of bad credit because I can't pay on my credit card debt right n...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

I am not certain when i can make it to an al-anon meeting...i have a young son and have not found a meeting in my area with babysitting. in the mean time i need to get a book to help me deal with this and better myself. what ive learned so far is that i NEED to detach your suggestions are appreciated...

Gailey · Gailey

I am not having a very good morning. I am having a hard time keeping the focus on me. A son seemed to be doing very well lately (still drinking but not having any problems that I know of). This morning seems to be a not so good morning for him. I did not ask questions but now I find myself projecting alot. I just...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, I just got back from my vacation in Alabama with the 3 kids (driving)...and I was sick when I left and even sicker when I got home. Thought I was going to die on Sunday and went to the dr. on Monday. Looks like I might have pneumonia and am on serious antibiotics. My home computer has a terrible viru...

david62 · david62

Happy April 17th! (((((((((((Family))))))))))))) Did that title get your attention??? He he he Today is my 3 year Al-anon birthday! It's funny the way time works for me, its duality. On one hand, it seems like just yesterday when I crawled on my knees into that first recovery experience. In other...

evey · evey

Hello All, I've hit a brick wall in terms of my plan b. For the past two years I have been steadily making progress with it. Now I may, state again may, have a good job opportunity but, isn't there always a but, there is a 90 minute commute involved and I have a 10 year old son. I would be gone from 6a.m to 6p.m....

serendipity · serendipity

I just don't get it. My ex ah just called and I stupidly took the call. Then i stupidly got into it with him. Why? He is with someone new. He told me to stop spreding rumors. he is sober, sane and the girl he is with has 14c years in the program. This is crazy!!!! he has been sober like 6 months, he did what he did t...

Cucamonga · Cucamonga

Hi all, Hope I meet you all well. I have not posted here in a while, and have not been to a face2face since last week thursday. have been so busy with business and things are going ok at home. I was feeling that I am getting away from this wonderful program that brought me this serenity. So here I am checkin...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I did it. I attended my first AA meeting last night. It was kinda how I imagined it to be. There must have been about 45-50 people there. Everyone in the room "shared" except me and my girlfriend that I brought with me and one other person. When they got to me, I just said, "No th...

weggie · weggie

Hello to everyone, this is my first time looking for help online. I have been going to Al-laon meetings when I could. To make a long story short, I have been married to an a for 37 years. I know thru the process that I am an anabler. I have found God and he has helped me thru trouble times. This last inci...

Sunny2007 · Sunny2007

hi & love to all, i'm in physical pain today (monday) since waking up .... have proper medical care, medicines, etc. ... this is nothing new ... the symptoms had been better for a while ...... this is pattern over last 2 years due to a specific diagnosis of nerve damage in both arms from neck to finge...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN I entered the Army medical center on base 20 minutes prior to delivering my baby, I had a hard time convincing the staff that I was definitely in the last stages of labor. We had waited 10 minutes in the pre-admittance area when a nurse finally came in and said, "My name is Captain Smith, but you...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH and I have a joint checking account. He is nickel and diming us to death! He thinks it is no big deal to take out $20 per day (or more)...it adds up! I would like to take his name off our account. Does anyone know if I can do this without his permission? I don't feel like I am necessarily trying to control h...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

This morning I felt great, and I still feel good...just not 'great'... Through out the day I've been doing my research and reading and I have come to realize that I am an enabler. I'm a provoker and sometimes a martyr. What a horrible thing to come to realize. It doesn't feel good, but at the same time,...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

((MIP Friends)) For those who have not been updated, my AH is now in a detox facility. He has been there since Monday. I left him with a generous amount of cigarettes and change. The change is all gone so I have not heard from him today. I did phone the nurse to get an update about how he's doing. The nur...

angel123 · angel123

Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

...that things are going OK or at least stable. I have been working so things at home have gone a little on the back burner. My AH is really nice about me being lazy (tired from work), and even though we bicker about stupid stuff (like who directed what movie) there have been no tear stained arguments. I wa...

angel123 · angel123

Where do I begin? I had a stroke on Good Friday, I learned many things that were wrong with my health during my time in Hospital, blood pressure and other things like cloistral triglycerides ,Checking for diabetic few other things. My world has changed upside down and inside out. The doctor wanted to p...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

When I first came into the rooms of Alanon I didn't know anything about alcoholism. It was not until I walked thru the doors of Alanon that I realized that even though it was years later that I would have to personally deal with the disease (my brother, son, and husband), I had lived with the effects of a...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

My AH is 90 days sober. He is going to meetings and working a program as am I. Home life is calm and we are really communicating. He seems happier then he has in years. Very grateful for Alanon for showing me how to let go and let God. Trying to take this one day at a time but think it is a good thing to shar...

gimmpy · gimmpy

I was wondering if I wrote out a contract or expectations of my 19 year old if that would be dumb. I seem to have a difficult time setting them verbally. Someone recently told me that I need to get a back bone instead of a wish bone.. True, but easier said then done. I am always angry now. I come hame and she an...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A is playing the same old song. He is acting like it is something incredible to go up there and live with him. Like I am just waiting around to do that. I am not of course but he can't see that. Of course he can only ever see his own point of view. He's left everything to the last minute and is in a panic. ...

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

Today is a better day than yesterday...why? Because I have made the choice for it to be. Yesterday was the first time I made a choice to reach out to Al-Anon...and I am so thankful I did. After being on the boards and reading everybody's experience, it felt like a relief...like a release. I didnt make i...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Please pray for me to have the strength to stop contacting my A. He is far too into his disease, and I have my own issues to work on. I just found out he does nothing but party over there, and will be having a lady sharing his hotel room for a few days. I give. That's it. I am sick of the BS. I want to get better. I am...

marie096 · marie096

I was very glad I started going to Al-Anon meeting. Although it was my first meeting, I could identify with the things I heard because I live them daily. It seems like a step by step process and a new outlook on life, myself, and my husband. I plan to go back. I have many unanswered questions and I feel m...

newday · newday

Ok...been here and trying to work a good program for about 3 years...recently changed my username. Spent 7 years trying to change/control/cure an A....lol. I finally made the decision to let him go. I was feeling so much better...less chaos...less drama. Along came an old friend who asked me to di...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi everyone, Needed to get this out of my head also, as i have alot of other things in there. I need to let this one out. So i can see it here rather than continously thinking about something that doesnt matter. Today is the anniversary of my mothers death. I have grieved, and i am ok with it now. I still have i...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I guess since my last post, I made one mistake by calling this morning to my A at the hotel and his new girl answered. Basically, I do not need to go into all of it. I can't go back with a man who has cheated on me. That drunk just lost out to a very sweet woman who truly lovs him. I don't know him anymore. I want to k...

Diva · Diva

I am on the third day of an intestinal upset that is at least miserable. At worse, REALLY miserable. Cannot travel like this. Tomorrow is our last chance to hit the road. Hope I feel better by then. One of the many good things about being retired is that we can go when the mood strikes us, so I can put th...

babysteps · babysteps

I have asked my AH the following over and over again... A) "Please don't drink and drive." B) "Please don't take my car without asking" C) "Please say goodbye to me when you go somewhere" I ask these things of him because A) drinking & driving is dangerous and ille...

angel123 · angel123

Great slogan for me today,Hope you enjoy love Sharon/angel

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

hello, this is my very first time on this forum. i have so many different emotions inside that its just bundled up into this knot in my stomach. im not sure what even to say, but here goes... recently my fiance admitted to me that he is an A...almost 1 month ago...things have been occuring that have cause...

Leetle · Leetle

I don't know what I expected when I decided that I couldn't live with my A b/f upon his release from jail. I know I didn't think it would be easy, but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't be this hard. He is giving me the silent treatment, which in reality is helping me to keep my boundaries. I guess I am realizi...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

((Friends)) Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was woken up by my AH banging on the door at 4 a.m mad as a hornet because he and his best friend had been fighting. He went to the bathroom and I could hear aluminum foil wrestling around, he was clearly intoxicated. I layed down and he left the...

serendipity · serendipity

It's been a bad week. Started last Sunday with the easter thing and I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. I went to my meetings, came here, talked to people and tried to use my tools. No, I did use my tools. But these feelings I have to work through. I put a purchase offer in on a house and I let it go. The out...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Strength and Courage (Preview) Found out a few days ago that my husband has pancreatic cancer. I am trying to stay optimistic until we have seen the oncologist (next week) and started some treatment, but the chances are pretty good that he is dying. This is a famously bad cancer, and it has already spread. I'm finding that there are...	lin0606	6	448	Apr 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	How much of it is me? (Preview) So, my ex ah is seeing someone new. A new woman to enable him. The last convo I had with him which was Wednesday I lost it. I was sucked into the insanity. I had asked him if he signed the divorce papers and he said yes. Well, I call my lawyer daily and he never returns my calls. This has been going on for a year wi...	serendipity	2	572	Apr 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	God Can (Preview) Last night in a meeting someone was talking about a God Box, which reminded me... I used to use what I referred to as a God Can (I can't, but God CAN). I figured I still had it kicking around somewhere, and sure enough, on a shelf in my closet was my God Can. So I opened it up and looked inside... I was amazed a...	TLM	9	634	Apr 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	Moving Forward (Preview) This has been the first week of the rest of my life. I have set clear boundaries with my A ex b/f. He is keeping to most of them. I have been working through the chaos he has tried to lay at my feet. Mainly by stepping over it and moving on (of course, that is after I have a freak out in my head and with my poor...	Leetle	4	487	Apr 21, 2007 by nmike
	so painful (Preview) hi my AH is 30 days sober tomorrow. He went 68 days sober out of rehab before relapsing so this is not a HUGE milestone except he is going to AA and working the steps this time. My issue....When he is drunk he is affectionate, remorseful, tells me he loves me, misses me (we have been seperated since August)...	Angel1	5	584	Apr 21, 2007 by TLM
	Update (Preview) In his usual dramatic fashion the A claims to be leaving today. He wanted me to pack for him last night. I did not as I have to work today. He has now switched his answering machine off so I don't know whether he has left or not. He's left no forwarding address and I don't know when he starts work or anythin...	maresie2	5	560	Apr 21, 2007 by debilyn
	Anger (Preview) How do you let go of the anger? I attended a family counseling group last night at my husband's out-patient rehab. At first I told them that things between us has been about 75% better. The groups topic last night was communication. As the session went on, I realized that I kept my anger about th...	sash	4	719	Apr 20, 2007 by Christy
	BONJOUR LOL (Preview) (((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) Yo, Having a wonderful time.....Went on the plane...was awesome.....Sunshine most days..Had a thunderstorm one night...OMG it was horrendous.. Went out for a walk on my own, got lost..lol I have been getting so much from here.. Watching all the sick in Lour...	ally	9	563	Apr 20, 2007 by wp
	An amazing post from AA board... (Preview) I found this on the AA board and it has made my day and possibly life brighter. Thanks Phil... Kicky Come Here---Go Away.. As long as we have not healed our childhood wounds then there are a lot more than two people involved in our relationships. There may only be two people in the room - but the room is al...	newday	3	654	Apr 20, 2007 by TLM
	Can't think of a snarky line here...but it won't let me post with out some cute line...so here is one (Preview) Words to Consider The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of life. --Carl Jung Let the Power Work through You The times that life works best are when we get out of the way and let the power work through us. The writer says of an inspired shor...	Tiger2006	6	539	Apr 20, 2007 by lin0606
	Thank your lucky stars.... (Preview) (((Hi Everyone)))) Haven't been here in a while, my life has been busy busy... but just wanted to let you all know that this board is a lifesaver. This time last year, I was a scared, horrified, panic-stricken person who wanted nothing but to dwell on my horrible life and the possibility that I would hav...	hersh	6	442	Apr 20, 2007 by aunitedway
	Confusion (Preview) Hey guys. I'm new around here and I'm so glad you are all here. I went to my first al-anon meeting last night, but I've been to CODA in the past so I'm not a stranger to the steps or the healing. I was raised by an A father and later had a very intense 3 year relationship with A who I loved dearly but who finally...	simplyme	4	595	Apr 20, 2007 by simplyme
	Absolutely FUMING (Preview) A fiance sends me a text message saying: "FYI - I MIGHT have 2 go 2 work tomorrow morn - will let u know. But afterwards @ 4pm, Q is pickin me up 2 go and get sum shoes and do sum other stuff. Jus fyi. Tryin 2 communicate" That selfish BASTARD! He has not picked our son up ONCE this week from the si...	boricuaGA	6	745	Apr 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Mixture of Feelings & Confusion (Preview) Hi everybody, Well, today I think I have been more 'confused' and had the most mixture of feelings than I have since I started Al-anon. I'm assuming this is normal. Last night A fiance got home. He looked like crap. I just look into his eyes and see despair, sadness, hurt, pain. I had a talk with him an...	boricuaGA	3	1243	Apr 20, 2007 by lin0606
	Update (Preview) Just wanted to post an update on my situation. My husband admitted himself into rehab on Friday night. He is there and seems to be doing well. His counselor and RN said that he is motivated and has a positive attitude. They keep him very busy with meetings, lectures, group and individual therapy. ...	cac	3	625	Apr 20, 2007 by carosie
	Two Steps Forward, One Step Back... (Preview) I lost it! Two nights ago it was my mothers birthday, and my AH decided to drink some shots of whisky before going out to dinner with the family. Did I detach with love or even with a hatchet? Not even close. I went off. I started slamming doors and yelling at him about how sick I am of him letting me down...	TLM	2	548	Apr 20, 2007 by danz123
	So...Now we aren't talking???? (Preview) Sat. and Sun. were pretty good days for my AH and I. Went to dinner Sat. nite at a non-alcohol restaurant, went out to a fast food breakfast Sun. and to look at new Plasma TV's ( I get a discount where I work, plus $$$ to spend towards it!) Got home, went over to friend's house with him to watch race, took munc...	Becky1	6	718	Apr 20, 2007 by abbyal
	A humbling insight (sigh) (Preview) I have been STRUGGLING daily with a depressed feeling for a couple of weeks, low energy, obsessing in the same old way about the A, feeling like I'm in a stuffy cotton bag. Not long ago I made a breakthrough in terms of detatchment and felt some blessed peace . . . but since I threw a mega temper tantrum at t...	Kim65	5	731	Apr 20, 2007 by Kim65
	I feel like a horrible person (Preview) This is my first time on this website. I hope that it helps, i feel like I'm all alone in this and it's hard to talk about. I have never fully told this story to anyone and I hope that I'm not really the only one in the world that feels like this. So here is my story: My husband realized that he was an alcoholi...	everydayjane	10	812	Apr 19, 2007 by cac
	A poem that helped me, and may help you (Preview) Last night I read the first chapter in Melody Beattie's Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps. I read Psalm 21 and the Lord put this poem in my heart. Lift me up Lord and clear my heavy mind Release me from this bondage and take away my cries my heart is full of anger consumed with resentment and hate and...	boricuaGA	2	419	Apr 19, 2007 by ShelBell
	things got ugly around here last night (Preview) I once again told my daughter that there's no drinking, drugs, boy friends spending the night, or foul mouth garbage, etc. I said I will call the police if needed. The breaker was that her boy friend is not welcomed here, especially spending the night. She said we were f.... ing pissing her off and sh...	gimmpy	6	690	Apr 19, 2007 by debilyn
	recovering (Preview) Hi everyone, I was just thinking.....when I was with myA I used to post my crisis situations on this board and got great help from you all. This helped me through so much. We sperated four months ago. He's still drinking himself to death, not doing very well. He says he knows the disease will take him. Sad...	annmarie	2	416	Apr 19, 2007 by debilyn
	just a wonder where Lilms is post is all (Preview) ver are yee my dahling??? love,debilyn	debilyn	4	397	Apr 19, 2007 by debilyn
	A thank you... to everyone who posts on this message board (Preview) First, I want to thank everyone on this board who posts. I have learned so much from you all. I have learned that my "feelings" are quite normal and that the most important thing I can do is not continuously worry about my ex A b/f, but instead to worry about myself and MY recovery from all I'v...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	9	686	Apr 19, 2007 by debilyn
	I am no longer blind (Preview) Hello everybody, Today I woke up with such a high hope in my heart. Yesterday I went to the bookstore and picked up *Melody Beattie's Codeependents Guide To The Twelve Steps*. WOW...what an awesome book filled with allowing you to see the revelations that have been there all along. I read the first cha...	boricuaGA	3	622	Apr 19, 2007 by debilyn
	My Anger is through the roof... a vent post (Preview) The amount of anger and rage I have for my AH today could probably power the entire city. Just came back from the body shop, this A... hole caused 5K worth of damage to my van. Not to mention I have to sell my home, and probably go through 7 years of bad credit because I can't pay on my credit card debt right n...	twinmom2	14	856	Apr 19, 2007 by Christy
	Need suggestions for books for me (Preview) I am not certain when i can make it to an al-anon meeting...i have a young son and have not found a meeting in my area with babysitting. in the mean time i need to get a book to help me deal with this and better myself. what ive learned so far is that i NEED to detach your suggestions are appreciated...	boricuaGA	7	853	Apr 19, 2007 by boricuaGA
	Needing to connect this morning (Preview) I am not having a very good morning. I am having a hard time keeping the focus on me. A son seemed to be doing very well lately (still drinking but not having any problems that I know of). This morning seems to be a not so good morning for him. I did not ask questions but now I find myself projecting alot. I just...	Gailey	6	892	Apr 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Everything is falling apart... (Preview) Well, I just got back from my vacation in Alabama with the 3 kids (driving)...and I was sick when I left and even sicker when I got home. Thought I was going to die on Sunday and went to the dr. on Monday. Looks like I might have pneumonia and am on serious antibiotics. My home computer has a terrible viru...	carolinagirl	10	885	Apr 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Getting Rich in Al-Anon (Preview) Happy April 17th! (((((((((((Family))))))))))))) Did that title get your attention??? He he he Today is my 3 year Al-anon birthday! It's funny the way time works for me, its duality. On one hand, it seems like just yesterday when I crawled on my knees into that first recovery experience. In other...	david62	12	802	Apr 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Brick Wall (Preview) Hello All, I've hit a brick wall in terms of my plan b. For the past two years I have been steadily making progress with it. Now I may, state again may, have a good job opportunity but, isn't there always a but, there is a 90 minute commute involved and I have a 10 year old son. I would be gone from 6a.m to 6p.m....	evey	4	450	Apr 19, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Why? (Preview) I just don't get it. My ex ah just called and I stupidly took the call. Then i stupidly got into it with him. Why? He is with someone new. He told me to stop spreding rumors. he is sober, sane and the girl he is with has 14c years in the program. This is crazy!!!! he has been sober like 6 months, he did what he did t...	serendipity	6	620	Apr 19, 2007 by carosie
	Just checking in (Preview) Hi all, Hope I meet you all well. I have not posted here in a while, and have not been to a face2face since last week thursday. have been so busy with business and things are going ok at home. I was feeling that I am getting away from this wonderful program that brought me this serenity. So here I am checkin...	Cucamonga	2	419	Apr 19, 2007 by Karilynn
	My first AA meeting (Preview) Well, I did it. I attended my first AA meeting last night. It was kinda how I imagined it to be. There must have been about 45-50 people there. Everyone in the room "shared" except me and my girlfriend that I brought with me and one other person. When they got to me, I just said, "No th...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	371	Apr 19, 2007 by belle1
	Happened again (Preview) Hello to everyone, this is my first time looking for help online. I have been going to Al-laon meetings when I could. To make a long story short, I have been married to an a for 37 years. I know thru the process that I am an anabler. I have found God and he has helped me thru trouble times. This last inci...	weggie	6	1686	Apr 18, 2007 by Sunny2007
	From Sunny2007-I'm in physical pain (Monday) (Preview) hi & love to all, i'm in physical pain today (monday) since waking up .... have proper medical care, medicines, etc. ... this is nothing new ... the symptoms had been better for a while ...... this is pattern over last 2 years due to a specific diagnosis of nerve damage in both arms from neck to finge...	Sunny2007	6	565	Apr 18, 2007 by weggie
	A little prospective for your day...... (Preview) WHEN I entered the Army medical center on base 20 minutes prior to delivering my baby, I had a hard time convincing the staff that I was definitely in the last stages of labor. We had waited 10 minutes in the pre-admittance area when a nurse finally came in and said, "My name is Captain Smith, but you...	Tiger2006	0	369	Apr 18, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Banking Question (Preview) My AH and I have a joint checking account. He is nickel and diming us to death! He thinks it is no big deal to take out $20 per day (or more)...it adds up! I would like to take his name off our account. Does anyone know if I can do this without his permission? I don't feel like I am necessarily trying to control h...	babysteps	6	524	Apr 18, 2007 by CJ
	Enabler, Co-dependent & Detachment (Preview) This morning I felt great, and I still feel good...just not 'great'... Through out the day I've been doing my research and reading and I have come to realize that I am an enabler. I'm a provoker and sometimes a martyr. What a horrible thing to come to realize. It doesn't feel good, but at the same time,...	boricuaGA	3	1896	Apr 18, 2007 by twinmom2
	Update (Preview) ((MIP Friends)) For those who have not been updated, my AH is now in a detox facility. He has been there since Monday. I left him with a generous amount of cigarettes and change. The change is all gone so I have not heard from him today. I did phone the nurse to get an update about how he's doing. The nur...	twinmom2	3	427	Apr 18, 2007 by rtexas
	Forum (Preview) Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel	angel123	1	462	Apr 18, 2007 by Sunny2007
	I was just about to say (Preview) ...that things are going OK or at least stable. I have been working so things at home have gone a little on the back burner. My AH is really nice about me being lazy (tired from work), and even though we bicker about stupid stuff (like who directed what movie) there have been no tear stained arguments. I wa...	RainyJamie	6	588	Apr 18, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Hope (Preview) Where do I begin? I had a stroke on Good Friday, I learned many things that were wrong with my health during my time in Hospital, blood pressure and other things like cloistral triglycerides ,Checking for diabetic few other things. My world has changed upside down and inside out. The doctor wanted to p...	angel123	7	1029	Apr 18, 2007 by Sunny2007
	Lessons I've learned from an alcoholic (Preview) When I first came into the rooms of Alanon I didn't know anything about alcoholism. It was not until I walked thru the doors of Alanon that I realized that even though it was years later that I would have to personally deal with the disease (my brother, son, and husband), I had lived with the effects of a...	JulieLynn	3	668	Apr 18, 2007 by hudsond
	miracles do happen (Preview) My AH is 90 days sober. He is going to meetings and working a program as am I. Home life is calm and we are really communicating. He seems happier then he has in years. Very grateful for Alanon for showing me how to let go and let God. Trying to take this one day at a time but think it is a good thing to shar...	Elizabeth M	10	637	Apr 18, 2007 by hersh
	question about boundries... (Preview) I was wondering if I wrote out a contract or expectations of my 19 year old if that would be dumb. I seem to have a difficult time setting them verbally. Someone recently told me that I need to get a back bone instead of a wish bone.. True, but easier said then done. I am always angry now. I come hame and she an...	gimmpy	8	701	Apr 18, 2007 by Christy
	Playing the same old song but hearing the lyrics (Preview) The A is playing the same old song. He is acting like it is something incredible to go up there and live with him. Like I am just waiting around to do that. I am not of course but he can't see that. Of course he can only ever see his own point of view. He's left everything to the last minute and is in a panic. ...	maresie2	3	604	Apr 18, 2007 by aunitedway
	Today is a better day (Preview) Today is a better day than yesterday...why? Because I have made the choice for it to be. Yesterday was the first time I made a choice to reach out to Al-Anon...and I am so thankful I did. After being on the boards and reading everybody's experience, it felt like a relief...like a release. I didnt make i...	boricuaGA	2	488	Apr 18, 2007 by Gailey
	O.K. enough pain. I give. I have had it want my own life back (Preview) Please pray for me to have the strength to stop contacting my A. He is far too into his disease, and I have my own issues to work on. I just found out he does nothing but party over there, and will be having a lady sharing his hotel room for a few days. I give. That's it. I am sick of the BS. I want to get better. I am...	hippietrippiechick	9	475	Apr 18, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	My first meeting (Preview) I was very glad I started going to Al-Anon meeting. Although it was my first meeting, I could identify with the things I heard because I live them daily. It seems like a step by step process and a new outlook on life, myself, and my husband. I plan to go back. I have many unanswered questions and I feel m...	marie096	5	450	Apr 18, 2007 by carosie
	sad...again...sucked in...again (Preview) Ok...been here and trying to work a good program for about 3 years...recently changed my username. Spent 7 years trying to change/control/cure an A....lol. I finally made the decision to let him go. I was feeling so much better...less chaos...less drama. Along came an old friend who asked me to di...	newday	2	607	Apr 18, 2007 by ShelBell
	Anniversary of Mothers death (Preview) Hi everyone, Needed to get this out of my head also, as i have alot of other things in there. I need to let this one out. So i can see it here rather than continously thinking about something that doesnt matter. Today is the anniversary of my mothers death. I have grieved, and i am ok with it now. I still have i...	kerry5	8	751	Apr 18, 2007 by danz123
	How do I begin? (Preview) I guess since my last post, I made one mistake by calling this morning to my A at the hotel and his new girl answered. Basically, I do not need to go into all of it. I can't go back with a man who has cheated on me. That drunk just lost out to a very sweet woman who truly lovs him. I don't know him anymore. I want to k...	hippietrippiechick	4	406	Apr 18, 2007 by annmarie
	Vacation probably cancelled! (Preview) I am on the third day of an intestinal upset that is at least miserable. At worse, REALLY miserable. Cannot travel like this. Tomorrow is our last chance to hit the road. Hope I feel better by then. One of the many good things about being retired is that we can go when the mood strikes us, so I can put th...	Diva	9	576	Apr 17, 2007 by wp
	Turned negative controlling behavior into positive boundary setting (Preview) I have asked my AH the following over and over again... A) "Please don't drink and drive." B) "Please don't take my car without asking" C) "Please say goodbye to me when you go somewhere" I ask these things of him because A) drinking & driving is dangerous and ille...	babysteps	2	1227	Apr 17, 2007 by Leetle
	This to Shall Pass (Preview) Great slogan for me today,Hope you enjoy love Sharon/angel	angel123	3	6702	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	I feel so lost and dont know what to do (Preview) hello, this is my very first time on this forum. i have so many different emotions inside that its just bundled up into this knot in my stomach. im not sure what even to say, but here goes... recently my fiance admitted to me that he is an A...almost 1 month ago...things have been occuring that have cause...	boricuaGA	5	637	Apr 17, 2007 by maresie2
	Feeling Numb (Preview) I don't know what I expected when I decided that I couldn't live with my A b/f upon his release from jail. I know I didn't think it would be easy, but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't be this hard. He is giving me the silent treatment, which in reality is helping me to keep my boundaries. I guess I am realizi...	Leetle	3	505	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	AH crashed my car in a drunken stupor (Preview) ((Friends)) Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was woken up by my AH banging on the door at 4 a.m mad as a hornet because he and his best friend had been fighting. He went to the bathroom and I could hear aluminum foil wrestling around, he was clearly intoxicated. I layed down and he left the...	twinmom2	18	653	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	freakin out (Preview) It's been a bad week. Started last Sunday with the easter thing and I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. I went to my meetings, came here, talked to people and tried to use my tools. No, I did use my tools. But these feelings I have to work through. I put a purchase offer in on a house and I let it go. The out...	serendipity	5	584	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.