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recovering
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I was just thinking.....when I was with myA I used to post my crisis situations on this board and got great help from you all. This helped me through so much. We sperated four months ago. He's still drinking himself to death, not doing very well. He says he knows the disease will take him. Sad...
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annmarie
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2
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291
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just a wonder where Lilms is post is all
(Preview)
ver are yee my dahling??? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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4
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299
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A thank you... to everyone who posts on this message board
(Preview)
First, I want to thank everyone on this board who posts. I have learned so much from you all. I have learned that my "feelings" are quite normal and that the most important thing I can do is not continuously worry about my ex A b/f, but instead to worry about myself and MY recovery from all I'v...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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9
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580
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I am no longer blind
(Preview)
Hello everybody, Today I woke up with such a high hope in my heart. Yesterday I went to the bookstore and picked up Melody Beattie's Codeependents Guide To The Twelve Steps. WOW...what an awesome book filled with allowing you to see the revelations that have been there all along. I read the first cha...
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boricuaGA
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3
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513
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My Anger is through the roof... a vent post
(Preview)
The amount of anger and rage I have for my AH today could probably power the entire city. Just came back from the body shop, this A... hole caused 5K worth of damage to my van. Not to mention I have to sell my home, and probably go through 7 years of bad credit because I can't pay on my credit card debt right n...
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twinmom2
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14
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743
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Need suggestions for books for me
(Preview)
I am not certain when i can make it to an al-anon meeting...i have a young son and have not found a meeting in my area with babysitting. in the mean time i need to get a book to help me deal with this and better myself. what ive learned so far is that i NEED to detach your suggestions are appreciated...
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boricuaGA
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7
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658
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Needing to connect this morning
(Preview)
I am not having a very good morning. I am having a hard time keeping the focus on me. A son seemed to be doing very well lately (still drinking but not having any problems that I know of). This morning seems to be a not so good morning for him. I did not ask questions but now I find myself projecting alot. I just...
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Gailey
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6
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725
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Everything is falling apart...
(Preview)
Well, I just got back from my vacation in Alabama with the 3 kids (driving)...and I was sick when I left and even sicker when I got home. Thought I was going to die on Sunday and went to the dr. on Monday. Looks like I might have pneumonia and am on serious antibiotics. My home computer has a terrible viru...
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carolinagirl
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10
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768
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Getting Rich in Al-Anon
(Preview)
Happy April 17th! (((((((((((Family))))))))))))) Did that title get your attention??? He he he Today is my 3 year Al-anon birthday! It's funny the way time works for me, its duality. On one hand, it seems like just yesterday when I crawled on my knees into that first recovery experience. In other...
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david62
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12
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689
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Brick Wall
(Preview)
Hello All, I've hit a brick wall in terms of my plan b. For the past two years I have been steadily making progress with it. Now I may, state again may, have a good job opportunity but, isn't there always a but, there is a 90 minute commute involved and I have a 10 year old son. I would be gone from 6a.m to 6p.m....
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evey
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4
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349
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Why?
(Preview)
I just don't get it. My ex ah just called and I stupidly took the call. Then i stupidly got into it with him. Why? He is with someone new. He told me to stop spreding rumors. he is sober, sane and the girl he is with has 14c years in the program. This is crazy!!!! he has been sober like 6 months, he did what he did t...
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serendipity
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6
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481
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Just checking in
(Preview)
Hi all, Hope I meet you all well. I have not posted here in a while, and have not been to a face2face since last week thursday. have been so busy with business and things are going ok at home. I was feeling that I am getting away from this wonderful program that brought me this serenity. So here I am checkin...
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Cucamonga
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2
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323
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My first AA meeting
(Preview)
Well, I did it. I attended my first AA meeting last night. It was kinda how I imagined it to be. There must have been about 45-50 people there. Everyone in the room "shared" except me and my girlfriend that I brought with me and one other person. When they got to me, I just said, "No th...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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3
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276
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Happened again
(Preview)
Hello to everyone, this is my first time looking for help online. I have been going to Al-laon meetings when I could. To make a long story short, I have been married to an a for 37 years. I know thru the process that I am an anabler. I have found God and he has helped me thru trouble times. This last inci...
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weggie
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6
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1423
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From Sunny2007-I'm in physical pain (Monday)
(Preview)
hi & love to all, i'm in physical pain today (monday) since waking up .... have proper medical care, medicines, etc. ... this is nothing new ... the symptoms had been better for a while ...... this is pattern over last 2 years due to a specific diagnosis of nerve damage in both arms from neck to finge...
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Sunny2007
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6
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408
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A little prospective for your day......
(Preview)
WHEN I entered the Army medical center on base 20 minutes prior to delivering my baby, I had a hard time convincing the staff that I was definitely in the last stages of labor. We had waited 10 minutes in the pre-admittance area when a nurse finally came in and said, "My name is Captain Smith, but you...
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Tiger2006
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0
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269
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Banking Question
(Preview)
My AH and I have a joint checking account. He is nickel and diming us to death! He thinks it is no big deal to take out $20 per day (or more)...it adds up! I would like to take his name off our account. Does anyone know if I can do this without his permission? I don't feel like I am necessarily trying to control h...
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babysteps
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6
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357
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Enabler, Co-dependent & Detachment
(Preview)
This morning I felt great, and I still feel good...just not 'great'... Through out the day I've been doing my research and reading and I have come to realize that I am an enabler. I'm a provoker and sometimes a martyr. What a horrible thing to come to realize. It doesn't feel good, but at the same time,...
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boricuaGA
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3
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1747
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Update
(Preview)
((MIP Friends)) For those who have not been updated, my AH is now in a detox facility. He has been there since Monday. I left him with a generous amount of cigarettes and change. The change is all gone so I have not heard from him today. I did phone the nurse to get an update about how he's doing. The nur...
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twinmom2
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3
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273
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Forum
(Preview)
Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel
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angel123
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1
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301
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I was just about to say
(Preview)
...that things are going OK or at least stable. I have been working so things at home have gone a little on the back burner. My AH is really nice about me being lazy (tired from work), and even though we bicker about stupid stuff (like who directed what movie) there have been no tear stained arguments. I wa...
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RainyJamie
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6
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479
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Hope
(Preview)
Where do I begin? I had a stroke on Good Friday, I learned many things that were wrong with my health during my time in Hospital, blood pressure and other things like cloistral triglycerides ,Checking for diabetic few other things. My world has changed upside down and inside out. The doctor wanted to p...
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angel123
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7
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814
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Lessons I've learned from an alcoholic
(Preview)
When I first came into the rooms of Alanon I didn't know anything about alcoholism. It was not until I walked thru the doors of Alanon that I realized that even though it was years later that I would have to personally deal with the disease (my brother, son, and husband), I had lived with the effects of a...
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JulieLynn
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3
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554
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miracles do happen
(Preview)
My AH is 90 days sober. He is going to meetings and working a program as am I. Home life is calm and we are really communicating. He seems happier then he has in years. Very grateful for Alanon for showing me how to let go and let God. Trying to take this one day at a time but think it is a good thing to shar...
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Elizabeth M
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10
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542
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question about boundries...
(Preview)
I was wondering if I wrote out a contract or expectations of my 19 year old if that would be dumb. I seem to have a difficult time setting them verbally. Someone recently told me that I need to get a back bone instead of a wish bone.. True, but easier said then done. I am always angry now. I come hame and she an...
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gimmpy
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8
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581
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Playing the same old song but hearing the lyrics
(Preview)
The A is playing the same old song. He is acting like it is something incredible to go up there and live with him. Like I am just waiting around to do that. I am not of course but he can't see that. Of course he can only ever see his own point of view. He's left everything to the last minute and is in a panic. ...
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maresie2
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3
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486
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Today is a better day
(Preview)
Today is a better day than yesterday...why? Because I have made the choice for it to be. Yesterday was the first time I made a choice to reach out to Al-Anon...and I am so thankful I did. After being on the boards and reading everybody's experience, it felt like a relief...like a release. I didnt make i...
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boricuaGA
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2
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390
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O.K. enough pain. I give. I have had it want my own life back
(Preview)
Please pray for me to have the strength to stop contacting my A. He is far too into his disease, and I have my own issues to work on. I just found out he does nothing but party over there, and will be having a lady sharing his hotel room for a few days. I give. That's it. I am sick of the BS. I want to get better. I am...
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hippietrippiechick
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9
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382
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My first meeting
(Preview)
I was very glad I started going to Al-Anon meeting. Although it was my first meeting, I could identify with the things I heard because I live them daily. It seems like a step by step process and a new outlook on life, myself, and my husband. I plan to go back. I have many unanswered questions and I feel m...
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marie096
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5
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350
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sad...again...sucked in...again
(Preview)
Ok...been here and trying to work a good program for about 3 years...recently changed my username. Spent 7 years trying to change/control/cure an A....lol. I finally made the decision to let him go. I was feeling so much better...less chaos...less drama. Along came an old friend who asked me to di...
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newday
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2
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503
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Anniversary of Mothers death
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Needed to get this out of my head also, as i have alot of other things in there. I need to let this one out. So i can see it here rather than continously thinking about something that doesnt matter. Today is the anniversary of my mothers death. I have grieved, and i am ok with it now. I still have i...
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kerry5
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8
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639
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How do I begin?
(Preview)
I guess since my last post, I made one mistake by calling this morning to my A at the hotel and his new girl answered. Basically, I do not need to go into all of it. I can't go back with a man who has cheated on me. That drunk just lost out to a very sweet woman who truly lovs him. I don't know him anymore. I want to k...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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304
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Vacation probably cancelled!
(Preview)
I am on the third day of an intestinal upset that is at least miserable. At worse, REALLY miserable. Cannot travel like this. Tomorrow is our last chance to hit the road. Hope I feel better by then. One of the many good things about being retired is that we can go when the mood strikes us, so I can put th...
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Diva
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9
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471
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Turned negative controlling behavior into positive boundary setting
(Preview)
I have asked my AH the following over and over again... A) "Please don't drink and drive." B) "Please don't take my car without asking" C) "Please say goodbye to me when you go somewhere" I ask these things of him because A) drinking & driving is dangerous and ille...
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babysteps
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2
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1091
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This to Shall Pass
(Preview)
Great slogan for me today,Hope you enjoy love Sharon/angel
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angel123
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3
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5286
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I feel so lost and dont know what to do
(Preview)
hello, this is my very first time on this forum. i have so many different emotions inside that its just bundled up into this knot in my stomach. im not sure what even to say, but here goes... recently my fiance admitted to me that he is an A...almost 1 month ago...things have been occuring that have cause...
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boricuaGA
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5
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523
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Feeling Numb
(Preview)
I don't know what I expected when I decided that I couldn't live with my A b/f upon his release from jail. I know I didn't think it would be easy, but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't be this hard. He is giving me the silent treatment, which in reality is helping me to keep my boundaries. I guess I am realizi...
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Leetle
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3
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406
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AH crashed my car in a drunken stupor
(Preview)
((Friends)) Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was woken up by my AH banging on the door at 4 a.m mad as a hornet because he and his best friend had been fighting. He went to the bathroom and I could hear aluminum foil wrestling around, he was clearly intoxicated. I layed down and he left the...
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twinmom2
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18
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552
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freakin out
(Preview)
It's been a bad week. Started last Sunday with the easter thing and I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. I went to my meetings, came here, talked to people and tried to use my tools. No, I did use my tools. But these feelings I have to work through. I put a purchase offer in on a house and I let it go. The out...
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serendipity
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5
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477
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Unrealistic to expect friendship?
(Preview)
Hi all, I havent posted here in months. When I first joined al anon I had an a in my life, I am an a too. He is no longer in my life and thats a good thing. We recently shared our amends and I hoped we good just go on about our lives and maybe be friends Well, here come the expectations right? I see him all the time...
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beachbaby
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6
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509
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I went to an addiction meeting!
(Preview)
It really wasn't as bad as I thought and I was the least addicted to things in the room. I confesed I liked my painkillers probably a bit too much and they said to keep coming back. It was really hard for me to hear stories of crack addicts, alcholics, ect that have had years of abuse and here I am a month into t...
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Friendofyours
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4
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519
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What DO you say?
(Preview)
so I pick up today's newspaper, and I had heard about the tragic shooting yesterday...but it was "only" two people and they were "only" in critical condition. And they WERE at one of the THE best hospitals right? And then the paper says 33 people. Dead. And I'm like, No no no no n...
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Tiger2006
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2
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512
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An update from Wilted who is now Babsinbloom...
(Preview)
Last time I posted I was on my way back to my hometown where my children and grandchildren still live. And I did go and spent eight weeks apart from my AH. The peace I felt at not being around his daily drinking was wonderful and while I was there I got the news that after four granddaughters in a row, this Gra...
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Babsinbloom
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3
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283
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Forum
(Preview)
Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel After you click view image click on it again makes larger to read -- Edited by angel123 at 16:02, 2007-04-17
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angel123
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0
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248
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How did Alanon redefine your life?
(Preview)
It helped me to realize that no matter what I said, did, plotted and planned to get my husband to stop drinking, I could not. Alanon made it very clear , that this program is NOT about getting the A sober, but help me regain my life, again. It made me see that I was creating my own fear of the unknown by trying t...
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gardengal
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4
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592
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Dealing with an intermittent drinker
(Preview)
I am new to this. My boyfriend of 4 years "stopped drinking" 3 years ago. But he still seems to have to drink every 5 or 6 months. The thing is, he turns into what we call "the other guy" and it is tough to take. I asked him two years ago not to drink around me. Last night he started d...
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Terry
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6
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1056
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just for today
(Preview)
The day before yesterday was awful inside of me. Nothing really happened. It was all inside of me, I was a mess. Trying so hard not to call my ex. Yesterday was so much better! I heard at an online meeting don't drink, just for today. And i made a decision that just for today (yesterday) i would not make any c...
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serendipity
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5
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460
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something horrible just happened
(Preview)
We all need to pray for the family members of all that have been killed at Virginia Tech just over an hour ago. It is so sad.
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Gailey
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12
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558
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another quick ? for my animal lover friends
(Preview)
The house I am moving into already has electronic fencing. Does anyone know offhand how much collars cost? I am so excited to be getting my 2 big,stinky mutts back. I have missed them so very much. Ofcourse my mom has had them with her for the past year and she is feeling a little down that her "grand...
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serendipity
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2
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255
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We had a WONDERFUL weekend!!
(Preview)
I must be CRAZY!!!!! My AH went out to eat w/the kids and me on Friday. We had a nice time. He went back to his stepdad's later in the evening to sleep. Then Saturday he came over around 1:30 or so and spent the rest of the weekend w/us. He slept over Sat and Sun and got up and went to work this morning. He wa...
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QOD
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7
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503
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He stopped drinking now I'm "wishing" I was out on a Sat. night
(Preview)
O.K. this is just crazy......I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we have had every problem there is as a result of his drinking. The thing is that when we would go out together we would have a lot of fun. Our problems are when he would go drink on his own with his friends (without me). Some thin...
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jofarc1
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5
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468
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in and out of contact
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new to this, so "bear" w/ me. I have a very close friend who is in recovery and on one level we are as close as 2 people can be, closer than our significant others would like, (now our divorced spouses) We have known each other for 10 years and we are each others greatest confidants....
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miller7
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6
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448
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The drama continues....
(Preview)
(((Hello Friends))) Just wanted to say thank you to each of you who so compassionately responded. Its been sometime for me to get back online. I am taking care of myself and my kids, and trying to remain calm. My AH slept most of the day Saturday. The kids and I stayed at my brother's that night. I did...
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twinmom2
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11
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496
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Something to think about, courtesy of the comic pages
(Preview)
How many times have **YOU** been the lamp on the couch? The solution SO obvious--yet the action not taken?
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Tiger2006
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3
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303
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waiting .... but with sanity rather than immersed in fear
(Preview)
It seems to me there is a pattern with the A's agitation and chaos. He sets up a crisis, acts out then acts normal. Right now he is in this huge agitation with having to move (in chaos) and drama. I don't really see how he will make it where he is going. He has few contacts. He has no support system and he has...
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maresie2
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2
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452
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If only...
(Preview)
I went to an open AA meeting tonight. We listened to a speaker tape. After the speaker we spoke informally. We said that if only that shooter at the college had heard of a 12 step program or recovery or went to meetings maybe he could have dissipated some of his anger and frustration. We felt that the 12 s...
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nmike
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1
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283
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First Post and I've had all I can take...I think.
(Preview)
I'm new here. I've been married for five years now - together for about seven. When we first started dating, we pretty much binge drank together - I didn't drink before I started dating him but as soon as I started dating him I started (again). During my youth, I had binge drank but gave that up when I wa...
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snapdragon
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5
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804
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Letting Go
(Preview)
I love it, not really at times, when I think (think being the operative word) that I have my life in order. They say that when you think God doesn't have a sense of humor, tell him your plan. I thought I didn't need to read One Day At A Time in Alanon anymore as I don't live with an active A and lo and...
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Maria123
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1
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410
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OVERWHELMED? quotes
(Preview)
Overwhelmed? "Life does not happen to us, it happens from us." -- Mike Wickett Are you easily overwhelmed? If so, answer this question in your journal: While growing up, what did you experience too much of? Experiencing too much of something leads to feelings of overwhelm. When were you...
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Lani
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1
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7686
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Stubborness: a good thing
(Preview)
(((((((Family))))), Okay here I am snowed in because of the noreaster and hubby and I got to talking. We are both very stubborn and tenacious people. I like to blame it on me being a Taurus! But it got me thinking about recovery. When an A is ative they will go to any means to get their fix. They are relen...
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Karilynn
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3
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368
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