Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Sea lion joins walk-a-thon in Calif. CORTE MADERA, Calif. - He has flippers instead of feet and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn't stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon. ADVERTISEMENT if(window.yzq_d==null)window.yzq_d=new Object(); window.yzq_d[...

poppingin · poppingin

I think I became a person who either lived in the past or well into the future. The five year relationship with my addict moved through a progression of my launching into "fixit" mode, then the response of persecutor, followed by victim. Looking back at it I think that the five year affair wi...

Tammy · Tammy

Today has been a very hard day for me. I have missed my husband so much. I know that I did the right thing by asking him to leave but MAN, my heart is BROKEN in pieces.. He has taken everything this time and it is so final... A divorce is on the horizon and even though I know that it is the right thing it is one of...

QOD · QOD

This is so weird and WRONG and maybe just goes to show how badly having an A in my life has had a negative effect on me. Every where I go, I see people I have never met and think to myself "Drunk" or "Druggie". I am judging complete strangers simply by the way they look. And it makes me...

marmare · marmare

I thought I would be okay, I mean Mother's Day is just another day, right? Not this year, this year I don't look forward to it like before, as there will be no kiss on mom's cheek for me, no early morning call to her house, no little gift to give her. This week has been the hardest since she got her wings.......

donewithitallandhappy · donewithitallandhappy

.. -- Edited by donewithitallandhappy at 01:14, 2007-05-14

Tammy · Tammy

Life without my husband has been difficult. I miss him so much but know that I am doing the right thing not allowing his disease to rule my life. I havent seen him for over a week although I have spoken to him. I hear his voice and chills go up my spine. Will the love ever go away? Or at least the chills sub...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

I've been doing so good these past few weeks!! Keeping busy going out with friends, attending family functions, going to my childrens sporting events and doing things for me. Today tho, well, its a dreary day and I've been thinking a lot about my ex A b/f. Remembering all our good times, reliving the...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have the order that the A has to return the truck to me. I doubt he will. I think he will just take off with it. Nevertheless i did send him a clear clear message you can't just take it. I feel exhausted and alone and sad. I would so appreciate your prayers. I am still waiting on this job. I am so fed up wit...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) My Mother came into town today and said she wanted to stop by my office and bring me something from my Father (AFather 25 years sober if you haven't heard the stories). Well the gift was a lucky penny. If you stop reading now thinking "yeah so what" you will miss out. He f...

bob6502 · bob6502

Guess What???? We have another birthday girl!!!! Happy Birthday to Kismetstrand!!! Congratulations on catching up with me girl!!! Happy Birthday, Love, SenoraBob

CJ · CJ

Hi family, I haven't written much, lately, yet I still come and read about every night. I love you all very much, and am so proud of all the great progress and AUTHENTIC/GENUINE care, love, and support. I have noticed, also, that there is quite a bit of crosstalking happening. For the program newbies...

gardengal · gardengal

I can remember when "fear" ruled my life, every thing was that gut wrenching oh no now what? And even when things were quiet and calm, I would think of scenarios in my head along with my( committee which was always present), that surely something dreadful is going to happen. Was he going to ki...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

The Word WAIT- "Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live the...

serendipity · serendipity

I know it was y'all. I had over an hour of true peace at work tonight. I was right there focused on what I was doing. I felt good, like myself, "he" was so far from my mind. I actually forgot about him for that time. I know it was because of your prayers and love and understanding. Thank you all. I n...

lilms · lilms

what the heck is fos????? lilms

jaja · jaja

First,thank you to you guys who responded to my "D" word post earlier today. It truly has helped. I also wanted to share about something I read today that really shed some light, really brought my situation into focus. It spoke of the elusiveness of an A and how they can disappear, and ...

david62 · david62

Hello (((((Family)))))) Got into a great discussion with a friend today and wanted to share some of it. In a nutshell, I was talking about how for most of my life I lived with this protective....well lets call it a nutshell!....wrapped around me. This shell protected me from the effects of the outsid...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, My story is that I seperated from my Abf six months ago. The relationship was turning me into a hateful person. I felt to seperate was the only way I could cope. It was the best thing to do, for both of us. Despite this decision we love each other very much. Since then I have been feeling somewha...

Leetle · Leetle

It took me years to realize I was banging my head against a brick wall. I tried to stop on my own and it took me even more time to acknowledge that I can't do it myself. I had a big breakthrough when I got so desperate, that I finally allowed myself to reach out for help from people in recovery! This week I h...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Hi....Haven't popped in....in ages. But, I guess our recovery path takes us many, many, many places! It has been a wild carpet ride for me.....just like they said it would be. Oh......I've been in spots, I didn't want to go....and still do! But, I cannot tell you from going from complete isol...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone)))) The other week I was about to leave my drive to go out to dinner when my car died. That was okay, for whatever reason I wasn't suppose to go. So the next day I had it towed, only we had a wicked Northeastern sweep the south and when the tow truck arrived I saw him pull around something......

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Yesterday I commented on someone elses post about how I would love a raise sign and then last night I got a call about a job in a new town that would end up paying less per hr. but more overall. I have been debating whether to interview or not since it's a day's drive there and back. I have decided to go. Als...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Funny, since I have been here I have heard so many stories, most have many many similarities but there are a few of you that I read and think did I write that under my other personality? LOL There are 4 of you in particular that I can think of who I read and I think this is my life and I can't tell you how helpfu...

QOD · QOD

I have been wanting to post this all week but didn't know exactly what to say. My thoughts on it are a bit tangled. Maybe y'all can give me some ESH that will help me. My AH has been home for the last month. He hasn't used drugs since he got out of jail 2 months ago. While he was off on his several binges earli...

ally · ally

This is todays reading in the c2c.....I thought I would post this, for anyone who does not have that book... "Just For Today" Ally Girl -- Edited by tea2 at 09:49, 2007-05-11

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi (((everyone))) I hope this finds you all well. I have been off the board for a while, dealing with work, home children and a new life. After all these years I completely split with and am divorcing my AH. I cannot even begin to tell you how free I feel. Like a huge anvil has been lifted off my head. Several...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

For those who know the rest of the story... I was online last night messing around and looking online at court stuff checking out my husband's next date, charges, etc. I decided I'd look for other ppl with the same charges and guess who I found on the list? The girl he had gone to jail for assaulting a fe...

serendipity · serendipity

In my life I have always been told by my family of origin and my a to "not dwell on it, let it go, get over it, don't think about it." So, I woke up this morning at 5 am. I came here and didn't do anything stupid. But I have been thinking about "it" all day. I still have this physical feeli...

lilms · lilms

((((((((Friends)))))))))) Afternoon all, I am a little late with this (was at a funeral in another city so have been away) but I am wishing myself a happy one year on this board. I wanted to include you all because your wisdom has helped to change my life. And a year later life is happy. Certianly not per...

ajt62 · ajt62

Long share (and I haven't even started typing it yet...) I'm Allison, and my 23yo daughter is the addict in my life. She's had issues, was clean for a long time, but has been back on oxycontin recently. She lives 200 mi away from me - I sent her to live in the town where my mom and sis live to get her away fro...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

This is something that has been bothering me, I guess maybe I have been in DENIAL about it, can't really say why, but here goes: I am very embarrassed of my AH. I don't want my coworkers or new freinds to meet him. I don't like being seen with him. There are several reasons. He doesn't shower (maybe once eve...

jaja · jaja

Divorce. Unsure as I've been recently, I came right out and told my A I wanted out. I have learned how to communicate better, no attitude,accusing or being defensive and I have been much better at saying what I mean. The atmosphere had been good. Yet he didn't seem to get it. He would listen to me, be...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I really need to hear from other members, have you ever been able to be just friends with your former A? We lived together for 2 years known each other for two years after. Went through all kinds of things together. Now live six streets apart. I have gotten help with my codependency and attending Al -non...

java · java

CJ had a post that made me think about crosstalk and then one response by Barisax mentioned that continuing with a tread of thought that might continue into another, should be a new topic....so here goes>>>a new topic: Losing a loved one, in this case my dad, has been a long and arduous proce...

janey225 · janey225

What a day today has been. I did alot of reading yeterday and I went to bed last night determined to wake up with a positive attitude. I did and I had a great day. There was a break through with my AH today. He tod me something that he has been carrying around for years and he says that it is one of the reasons he...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of the things about the A's actions that bothered me the most was that at the same time as he was demanding I take care of him and put him first he was always putting me last. The latest example of taking in the homeless couple is one of them. He told me last Wednesday he felt overwhelmed by their needs a...

tea2 · tea2

OK, I am curious Clearly I am not the most computer savvy can anyone fill me in on where these neat avatars (that are not from the library images here) can be found?

hopefully · hopefully

My A & I have been together 15 yrs but gradually, every year things get worse. Sometimes I think it just creeps up on us & we don't realize it has gotten so bad. Today my A's ex-daughter-in-law stopped by the house to tell me that when the A goes to his 14 yr old grandaughter's soccer games he's been...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello my MIP Family))) Just wanted to share a little bit about boundaries. It's not my favorite topic but seems to be the most demanding aspect of my recovery right now. I do believe HP is challenging me to step it up in the boundaries department not just with my AH, with my kids, my job, and myself. ...

Katy · Katy

My ah came home from work yesterday very angry, our 16 year old son had spent a few hours working with him, they had got into an arguement and my husband was angry to the point of wanting to throw our son through the door, as my husband was telling me his voice was becoming louder and he was shaking with rage...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) My second F2F meeting I bought the ODAT daily reader. My morning routine was to drive into work and before entering into the chaos which is my job... read the daily passage and meditate a bit on what it means to me and my situations. Well, during a .... invigorating disscussion (LOL)...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now I am giving it all to HP. After obtaining a judgment against me because the A did not move out (I signed a joint tenancy so I am liable) the landlord has let the A stay in exchange for some building work. In the meantime I am trying to get a Judge to sign an order saying he has to give the truck to me (wo...

hudsond · hudsond

I've been pretty down lately. having some difficulty with a few things--anyway money extremely tight this month--you all know how that feels. So this morning I'm just talking with my HP and say you know what I could really use a miracle this week. Not 2 minutes later, for some reason I put my hand into...

minnie · minnie

It seems like that's all I do, complain :) It's been awhile since I've been on, we lost our internet for awhile. I guess it's just the same old same old going on here. I have a friend at work, my first in several years, and we've been able to go out a couple of times, just the girls, which was nice, because I h...

Tammy · Tammy

For those of you that dont know my husband left Saturday (again) but this time it is different... Why ?? Because I am different. I ask him to leave and even gave him $$ to leave. I didnt cry ( at least not in front of him ) and I didnt BEG him not to leave !! I kept praying about when was the right time to take o...

hopefully · hopefully

Is there a page that explains how this Board works? What is the whiteboard & what is subscriptions? How do you leave private messages to each other as has been mentioned in some comments. What is an avitar? What do some of the initials mean? I figured out f2f but it sure took awhile. There are others I...

ally · ally

I was surfing the net looking for inspiration, on how to stop loving someone....lol (if only) And I found this, I had a few tears in my eye..... Gives new meaning to "Life is to short" I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, wh...

renah · renah

Dear all, I am angry at the AH good bit of the time when he is sober. Some of the things are very trivial and he is not even aware that I get angry. Some examples are eating too loudly, walking faster than me and not appearing to care, suggesting a restaurant that I don't have an opinion on but it was not my num...

ally · ally

(((Guys)))) I'm going through a very hard time right now.Emotionally..... I have a load of unanswered questions::: WHY....Was I born into a family with Alcoholism in it.... WHY....Have I been affected so badly by this.... WHY.... Has this put my Life on hold....Why has it held me back.... WHY...Do...

davidssibling · davidssibling

A beautiful song I think by Jim Brickman, I have a copy of this in a chest I have for my daughter for her to read after I am dead. A must read, so beautiful. May the angels protect you Trouble neglect you And heaven accept you when its time to go home May you always have plenty The glass never empty Know in your b...

maresie2 · maresie2

One thing I am aware of is how little patience I have. Now that I have decided I want to sever all ties with the A I want it yesterday and then some. I have to go to court to get the truck back. I also have to go to court to appeal the rental issue which seems to say that I have to pay rent while he remains in the un...

serendipity · serendipity

I am better but still this feeling inside me persists. I wonder when it will lessen? When I think I am choosing to turn my mind to something else, I feel like I am denying what I am feeling, what I am going thru. It is a real, physical feeling. And when I think of him telling me he is in love with this other woman...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am moving past all the ambivalence all the stuff that kept me tied up with the A. All the "ifs" "if onlys" the "why" even. I am moving past to say I have had enough. I can no longer take his actions. I can no longer be made all the time to be the patsy to the consequences...

desert_brat · desert_brat

So I am really not sure where to turn right now and I am struggling with this. My question is "is it ever okay to nudge the A along in their recovery?". I know this is "his" journey and I have tried to detach myself from "his" disease as best I can. I remove myself from sit...

steppgirl · steppgirl

I choose to live with my active A. I choose to put up with his jealousy and rude comments. I choose to take up his slack with responsability. I choose not to let it ruin my day or my life. Am I crazy? I make my own happiness. I will not let my A control my happiness! guess I just relly needed to say that this morni...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi guys, just wanted to share this letter with you that I wrote to my husband (currently in jail) a couple weeks ago. I changed the names to protect the guilty...LOL Dear Alcoholic/Junkie, This letter has been a long time coming and has taken me a while to get to writing. Im so glad that I came to pick yo...

stephie · stephie

How does life get here. My A. I love him I do, but, I'm tired, I have no self esteem left, I doubt my friends, I doubt my life, I doubt myself. Leave him, Leave him, leave him. I hear that so many times. Well that might be easier if a) I didn't love him b) we weren't married c) I had someplace to live d) I h...

janey225 · janey225

I am new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been attending AA meetings and been trying to get sober from what I can tell. He moved out last week. I have so much anger toward him. I worry about him all the time. I am so lost and I dont know what to do. I have 3 children with him.I love him so much but I feel lik...

ally · ally

Hey Guys, Came back from f2f tonight, Topic was...Helping the Alcoholic... I'm sitting here, with my jacket and shoes still on, been home two hrs....I feel so powerless over Ally..... The last two days I have been having emotional difficulties.....I am trying sooo hard to let go of someone...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another great animal minute... (Preview) Sea lion joins walk-a-thon in Calif. CORTE MADERA, Calif. - He has flippers instead of feet and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn't stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon. ADVERTISEMENT if(window.yzq_d==null)window.yzq_d=new Object(); window.yzq_d[...	Tiger2006	0	2213	May 13, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Letting go of the past (Preview) I think I became a person who either lived in the past or well into the future. The five year relationship with my addict moved through a progression of my launching into "fixit" mode, then the response of persecutor, followed by victim. Looking back at it I think that the five year affair wi...	poppingin	3	581	May 13, 2007 by Tammy
	Today is such a difficult day.............. (Preview) Today has been a very hard day for me. I have missed my husband so much. I know that I did the right thing by asking him to leave but MAN, my heart is BROKEN in pieces.. He has taken everything this time and it is so final... A divorce is on the horizon and even though I know that it is the right thing it is one of...	Tammy	5	570	May 13, 2007 by ally
	Seeing Alcoholic or Druggie in so many strangers (Preview) This is so weird and WRONG and maybe just goes to show how badly having an A in my life has had a negative effect on me. Every where I go, I see people I have never met and think to myself "Drunk" or "Druggie". I am judging complete strangers simply by the way they look. And it makes me...	QOD	10	550	May 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	First Mother's Day without Mom (Preview) I thought I would be okay, I mean Mother's Day is just another day, right? Not this year, this year I don't look forward to it like before, as there will be no kiss on mom's cheek for me, no early morning call to her house, no little gift to give her. This week has been the hardest since she got her wings.......	marmare	10	598	May 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Broken hearted but no longer devasted (Preview) .. -- Edited by donewithitallandhappy at 01:14, 2007-05-14	donewithitallandhappy	0	401	May 13, 2007 by donewithitallandhappy
	Living without my A.... (Preview) Life without my husband has been difficult. I miss him so much but know that I am doing the right thing not allowing his disease to rule my life. I havent seen him for over a week although I have spoken to him. I hear his voice and chills go up my spine. Will the love ever go away? Or at least the chills sub...	Tammy	3	427	May 12, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Doing so well without my A, then the clouds roll in (Preview) I've been doing so good these past few weeks!! Keeping busy going out with friends, attending family functions, going to my childrens sporting events and doing things for me. Today tho, well, its a dreary day and I've been thinking a lot about my ex A b/f. Remembering all our good times, reliving the...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	409	May 12, 2007 by Tiger2006
	I got the order (Preview) I have the order that the A has to return the truck to me. I doubt he will. I think he will just take off with it. Nevertheless i did send him a clear clear message you can't just take it. I feel exhausted and alone and sad. I would so appreciate your prayers. I am still waiting on this job. I am so fed up wit...	maresie2	6	455	May 12, 2007 by debilyn
	1000 posts and my lucky penny (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) My Mother came into town today and said she wanted to stop by my office and bring me something from my Father (AFather 25 years sober if you haven't heard the stories). Well the gift was a lucky penny. If you stop reading now thinking "yeah so what" you will miss out. He f...	rtexas	12	756	May 12, 2007 by gardengal
	Birthday Girl!!! (Preview) Guess What???? We have another birthday girl!!!! Happy Birthday to Kismetstrand!!! Congratulations on catching up with me girl!!! Happy Birthday, Love, SenoraBob	bob6502	15	590	May 12, 2007 by gardengal
	Cross-Talk (Preview) Hi family, I haven't written much, lately, yet I still come and read about every night. I love you all very much, and am so proud of all the great progress and AUTHENTIC/GENUINE care, love, and support. I have noticed, also, that there is quite a bit of crosstalking happening. For the program newbies...	CJ	24	7061	May 12, 2007 by gardengal
	Does "fear" rule your life? (Preview) I can remember when "fear" ruled my life, every thing was that gut wrenching oh no now what? And even when things were quiet and calm, I would think of scenarios in my head along with my( committee which was always present), that surely something dreadful is going to happen. Was he going to ki...	gardengal	6	1181	May 12, 2007 by Diva
	The Word WAIT (poem) (Preview) The Word WAIT- "Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live the...	wallsal55	3	340	May 12, 2007 by java
	felt your prayers tonight (Preview) I know it was y'all. I had over an hour of true peace at work tonight. I was right there focused on what I was doing. I felt good, like myself, "he" was so far from my mind. I actually forgot about him for that time. I know it was because of your prayers and love and understanding. Thank you all. I n...	serendipity	4	392	May 11, 2007 by hopefully
	Barisax??? (Preview) what the heck is fos????? lilms	lilms	10	544	May 11, 2007 by tea2
	Maybe I'm getting "unbound" (Preview) First,thank you to you guys who responded to my "D" word post earlier today. It truly has helped. I also wanted to share about something I read today that really shed some light, really brought my situation into focus. It spoke of the elusiveness of an A and how they can disappear, and ...	jaja	2	602	May 11, 2007 by lin0606
	Getting out of the Matrix (Preview) Hello (((((Family)))))) Got into a great discussion with a friend today and wanted to share some of it. In a nutshell, I was talking about how for most of my life I lived with this protective....well lets call it a nutshell!....wrapped around me. This shell protected me from the effects of the outsid...	david62	3	555	May 11, 2007 by bob6502
	this too will pass (Preview) Hi everyone, My story is that I seperated from my Abf six months ago. The relationship was turning me into a hateful person. I felt to seperate was the only way I could cope. It was the best thing to do, for both of us. Despite this decision we love each other very much. Since then I have been feeling somewha...	annmarie	6	437	May 11, 2007 by hersh
	Brick Wall (Preview) It took me years to realize I was banging my head against a brick wall. I tried to stop on my own and it took me even more time to acknowledge that I can't do it myself. I had a big breakthrough when I got so desperate, that I finally allowed myself to reach out for help from people in recovery! This week I h...	Leetle	4	467	May 11, 2007 by Maria123
	Hi.....Alanon....opportunities....Health.... (Preview) Hi....Haven't popped in....in ages. But, I guess our recovery path takes us many, many, many places! It has been a wild carpet ride for me.....just like they said it would be. Oh......I've been in spots, I didn't want to go....and still do! But, I cannot tell you from going from complete isol...	wallsal55	0	274	May 11, 2007 by wallsal55
	Just a share.... (Preview) (((((Everyone)))) The other week I was about to leave my drive to go out to dinner when my car died. That was okay, for whatever reason I wasn't suppose to go. So the next day I had it towed, only we had a wicked Northeastern sweep the south and when the tow truck arrived I saw him pull around something......	Lunamoth	7	552	May 11, 2007 by CJ
	Job and move... (Preview) Yesterday I commented on someone elses post about how I would love a raise sign and then last night I got a call about a job in a new town that would end up paying less per hr. but more overall. I have been debating whether to interview or not since it's a day's drive there and back. I have decided to go. Als...	carolinagirl	4	477	May 11, 2007 by Rita G
	Hearing your own story... (Preview) Funny, since I have been here I have heard so many stories, most have many many similarities but there are a few of you that I read and think did I write that under my other personality? LOL There are 4 of you in particular that I can think of who I read and I think this is my life and I can't tell you how helpfu...	carolinagirl	1	432	May 11, 2007 by QOD
	Credit Card Fraud or Guilty AH??? (Preview) I have been wanting to post this all week but didn't know exactly what to say. My thoughts on it are a bit tangled. Maybe y'all can give me some ESH that will help me. My AH has been home for the last month. He hasn't used drugs since he got out of jail 2 months ago. While he was off on his several binges earli...	QOD	8	654	May 11, 2007 by QOD
	Courage 2 Change 11th May (Preview) This is todays reading in the c2c.....I thought I would post this, for anyone who does not have that book... "Just For Today" Ally Girl -- Edited by tea2 at 09:49, 2007-05-11	ally	2	404	May 11, 2007 by tea2
	Update (Preview) Hi (((everyone))) I hope this finds you all well. I have been off the board for a while, dealing with work, home children and a new life. After all these years I completely split with and am divorcing my AH. I cannot even begin to tell you how free I feel. Like a huge anvil has been lifted off my head. Several...	Jeannie	7	582	May 11, 2007 by Karilynn
	Update and two topics related to the continuing saga... (Preview) For those who know the rest of the story... I was online last night messing around and looking online at court stuff checking out my husband's next date, charges, etc. I decided I'd look for other ppl with the same charges and guess who I found on the list? The girl he had gone to jail for assaulting a fe...	carolinagirl	6	558	May 11, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Thinking too much? (Preview) In my life I have always been told by my family of origin and my a to "not dwell on it, let it go, get over it, don't think about it." So, I woke up this morning at 5 am. I came here and didn't do anything stupid. But I have been thinking about "it" all day. I still have this physical feeli...	serendipity	8	743	May 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Happy One Year (Preview) ((((((((Friends)))))))))) Afternoon all, I am a little late with this (was at a funeral in another city so have been away) but I am wishing myself a happy one year on this board. I wanted to include you all because your wisdom has helped to change my life. And a year later life is happy. Certianly not per...	lilms	9	400	May 10, 2007 by Maria123
	Rambling, letting go, letting God... (Preview) Long share (and I haven't even started typing it yet...) I'm Allison, and my 23yo daughter is the addict in my life. She's had issues, was clean for a long time, but has been back on oxycontin recently. She lives 200 mi away from me - I sent her to live in the town where my mom and sis live to get her away fro...	ajt62	4	531	May 10, 2007 by Tiger2006
	ashamed to feel ashamed (Preview) This is something that has been bothering me, I guess maybe I have been in DENIAL about it, can't really say why, but here goes: I am very embarrassed of my AH. I don't want my coworkers or new freinds to meet him. I don't like being seen with him. There are several reasons. He doesn't shower (maybe once eve...	RainyJamie	12	777	May 10, 2007 by RainyJamie
	I said the "D" word (Preview) Divorce. Unsure as I've been recently, I came right out and told my A I wanted out. I have learned how to communicate better, no attitude,accusing or being defensive and I have been much better at saying what I mean. The atmosphere had been good. Yet he didn't seem to get it. He would listen to me, be...	jaja	5	545	May 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Can you ever really be friends with your former A?? (Preview) I really need to hear from other members, have you ever been able to be just friends with your former A? We lived together for 2 years known each other for two years after. Went through all kinds of things together. Now live six streets apart. I have gotten help with my codependency and attending Al -non...	sisdragonfly1957	8	595	May 10, 2007 by lilms
	Losing a loved one is a process (Preview) CJ had a post that made me think about crosstalk and then one response by Barisax mentioned that continuing with a tread of thought that might continue into another, should be a new topic....so here goes>>>a new topic: Losing a loved one, in this case my dad, has been a long and arduous proce...	java	5	557	May 10, 2007 by lilms
	Wow What a Break through (Preview) What a day today has been. I did alot of reading yeterday and I went to bed last night determined to wake up with a positive attitude. I did and I had a great day. There was a break through with my AH today. He tod me something that he has been carrying around for years and he says that it is one of the reasons he...	janey225	3	459	May 10, 2007 by ally
	what has bothered me most (Preview) One of the things about the A's actions that bothered me the most was that at the same time as he was demanding I take care of him and put him first he was always putting me last. The latest example of taking in the homeless couple is one of them. He told me last Wednesday he felt overwhelmed by their needs a...	maresie2	3	488	May 10, 2007 by QOD
	off topic question (Preview) OK, I am curious Clearly I am not the most computer savvy can anyone fill me in on where these neat avatars (that are not from the library images here) can be found?	tea2	5	383	May 10, 2007 by QOD
	A new delima (Preview) My A & I have been together 15 yrs but gradually, every year things get worse. Sometimes I think it just creeps up on us & we don't realize it has gotten so bad. Today my A's ex-daughter-in-law stopped by the house to tell me that when the A goes to his 14 yr old grandaughter's soccer games he's been...	hopefully	3	459	May 10, 2007 by Rita G
	Getting comfortable with boundaries.... Don't have much of a choice (Preview) (((Hello my MIP Family))) Just wanted to share a little bit about boundaries. It's not my favorite topic but seems to be the most demanding aspect of my recovery right now. I do believe HP is challenging me to step it up in the boundaries department not just with my AH, with my kids, my job, and myself. ...	twinmom2	8	569	May 10, 2007 by hudsond
	Alanon in action. (Preview) My ah came home from work yesterday very angry, our 16 year old son had spent a few hours working with him, they had got into an arguement and my husband was angry to the point of wanting to throw our son through the door, as my husband was telling me his voice was becoming louder and he was shaking with rage...	Katy	4	526	May 10, 2007 by Katy
	AW swipes my ODAT.... what a gift! (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) My second F2F meeting I bought the ODAT daily reader. My morning routine was to drive into work and before entering into the chaos which is my job... read the daily passage and meditate a bit on what it means to me and my situations. Well, during a .... invigorating disscussion (LOL)...	rtexas	8	605	May 10, 2007 by kismetstrand
	giving it all to HP (Preview) Right now I am giving it all to HP. After obtaining a judgment against me because the A did not move out (I signed a joint tenancy so I am liable) the landlord has let the A stay in exchange for some building work. In the meantime I am trying to get a Judge to sign an order saying he has to give the truck to me (wo...	maresie2	3	284	May 9, 2007 by kissers
	Asked for a miracle today (Preview) I've been pretty down lately. having some difficulty with a few things--anyway money extremely tight this month--you all know how that feels. So this morning I'm just talking with my HP and say you know what I could really use a miracle this week. Not 2 minutes later, for some reason I put my hand into...	hudsond	6	604	May 9, 2007 by Jill
	just more venting (Preview) It seems like that's all I do, complain :) It's been awhile since I've been on, we lost our internet for awhile. I guess it's just the same old same old going on here. I have a friend at work, my first in several years, and we've been able to go out a couple of times, just the girls, which was nice, because I h...	minnie	3	464	May 9, 2007 by hersh
	My HP at work, so I know I am doing the right thing.. (Preview) For those of you that dont know my husband left Saturday (again) but this time it is different... Why ?? Because I am different. I ask him to leave and even gave him $$ to leave. I didnt cry ( at least not in front of him ) and I didnt BEG him not to leave !! I kept praying about when was the right time to take o...	Tammy	7	542	May 9, 2007 by hersh
	Stupid questions (Preview) Is there a page that explains how this Board works? What is the whiteboard & what is subscriptions? How do you leave private messages to each other as has been mentioned in some comments. What is an avitar? What do some of the initials mean? I figured out f2f but it sure took awhile. There are others I...	hopefully	4	406	May 9, 2007 by tea2
	READ THIS...IT IS SO SAD......AN EXAMPLE OF A DAY AT A TIME (Preview) I was surfing the net looking for inspiration, on how to stop loving someone....lol (if only) And I found this, I had a few tears in my eye..... Gives new meaning to "Life is to short" I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, wh...	ally	3	473	May 9, 2007 by Becky1
	Angry A lot of the time (Preview) Dear all, I am angry at the AH good bit of the time when he is sober. Some of the things are very trivial and he is not even aware that I get angry. Some examples are eating too loudly, walking faster than me and not appearing to care, suggesting a restaurant that I don't have an opinion on but it was not my num...	renah	7	635	May 9, 2007 by maresie2
	WHY.....WHY......WHY...WHY... (Preview) (((Guys)))) I'm going through a very hard time right now.Emotionally..... I have a load of unanswered questions::: WHY....Was I born into a family with Alcoholism in it.... WHY....Have I been affected so badly by this.... WHY.... Has this put my Life on hold....Why has it held me back.... WHY...Do...	ally	15	758	May 9, 2007 by Lexie
	Never Alone (Preview) A beautiful song I think by Jim Brickman, I have a copy of this in a chest I have for my daughter for her to read after I am dead. A must read, so beautiful. May the angels protect you Trouble neglect you And heaven accept you when its time to go home May you always have plenty The glass never empty Know in your b...	davidssibling	2	282	May 9, 2007 by TLC2
	Letting go and letting god (Preview) One thing I am aware of is how little patience I have. Now that I have decided I want to sever all ties with the A I want it yesterday and then some. I have to go to court to get the truck back. I also have to go to court to appeal the rental issue which seems to say that I have to pay rent while he remains in the un...	maresie2	4	626	May 9, 2007 by TLC2
	How long will my detox from him take? (Preview) I am better but still this feeling inside me persists. I wonder when it will lessen? When I think I am choosing to turn my mind to something else, I feel like I am denying what I am feeling, what I am going thru. It is a real, physical feeling. And when I think of him telling me he is in love with this other woman...	serendipity	6	650	May 8, 2007 by CriedOut2
	moving to separation (Preview) I am moving past all the ambivalence all the stuff that kept me tied up with the A. All the "ifs" "if onlys" the "why" even. I am moving past to say I have had enough. I can no longer take his actions. I can no longer be made all the time to be the patsy to the consequences...	maresie2	2	361	May 8, 2007 by rtexas
	ESH question???? (Preview) So I am really not sure where to turn right now and I am struggling with this. My question is "is it ever okay to nudge the A along in their recovery?". I know this is "his" journey and I have tried to detach myself from "his" disease as best I can. I remove myself from sit...	desert_brat	10	656	May 8, 2007 by desert_brat
	Choice (Preview) I choose to live with my active A. I choose to put up with his jealousy and rude comments. I choose to take up his slack with responsability. I choose not to let it ruin my day or my life. Am I crazy? I make my own happiness. I will not let my A control my happiness! guess I just relly needed to say that this morni...	steppgirl	5	410	May 8, 2007 by Maria123
	Letter I wrote to my husband a while back (Preview) Hi guys, just wanted to share this letter with you that I wrote to my husband (currently in jail) a couple weeks ago. I changed the names to protect the guilty...LOL Dear Alcoholic/Junkie, This letter has been a long time coming and has taken me a while to get to writing. Im so glad that I came to pick yo...	carolinagirl	5	460	May 8, 2007 by Friendofyours
	hurt again (Preview) How does life get here. My A. I love him I do, but, I'm tired, I have no self esteem left, I doubt my friends, I doubt my life, I doubt myself. Leave him, Leave him, leave him. I hear that so many times. Well that might be easier if a) I didn't love him b) we weren't married c) I had someplace to live d) I h...	stephie	5	544	May 8, 2007 by evey
	I am so confused (Preview) I am new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been attending AA meetings and been trying to get sober from what I can tell. He moved out last week. I have so much anger toward him. I worry about him all the time. I am so lost and I dont know what to do. I have 3 children with him.I love him so much but I feel lik...	janey225	6	515	May 8, 2007 by maresie2
	FEELING VERY CONFUSED TONIGHT (Preview) Hey Guys, Came back from f2f tonight, Topic was...Helping the Alcoholic... I'm sitting here, with my jacket and shoes still on, been home two hrs....I feel so powerless over Ally..... The last two days I have been having emotional difficulties.....I am trying sooo hard to let go of someone...	ally	5	373	May 8, 2007 by maresie2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.