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Update and two topics related to the continuing saga...
(Preview)
For those who know the rest of the story... I was online last night messing around and looking online at court stuff checking out my husband's next date, charges, etc. I decided I'd look for other ppl with the same charges and guess who I found on the list? The girl he had gone to jail for assaulting a fe...
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carolinagirl
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6
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542
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Thinking too much?
(Preview)
In my life I have always been told by my family of origin and my a to "not dwell on it, let it go, get over it, don't think about it." So, I woke up this morning at 5 am. I came here and didn't do anything stupid. But I have been thinking about "it" all day. I still have this physical feeli...
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serendipity
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8
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720
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Happy One Year
(Preview)
((((((((Friends)))))))))) Afternoon all, I am a little late with this (was at a funeral in another city so have been away) but I am wishing myself a happy one year on this board. I wanted to include you all because your wisdom has helped to change my life. And a year later life is happy. Certianly not per...
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lilms
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9
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383
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Rambling, letting go, letting God...
(Preview)
Long share (and I haven't even started typing it yet...) I'm Allison, and my 23yo daughter is the addict in my life. She's had issues, was clean for a long time, but has been back on oxycontin recently. She lives 200 mi away from me - I sent her to live in the town where my mom and sis live to get her away fro...
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ajt62
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4
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505
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ashamed to feel ashamed
(Preview)
This is something that has been bothering me, I guess maybe I have been in DENIAL about it, can't really say why, but here goes: I am very embarrassed of my AH. I don't want my coworkers or new freinds to meet him. I don't like being seen with him. There are several reasons. He doesn't shower (maybe once eve...
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RainyJamie
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12
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755
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I said the "D" word
(Preview)
Divorce. Unsure as I've been recently, I came right out and told my A I wanted out. I have learned how to communicate better, no attitude,accusing or being defensive and I have been much better at saying what I mean. The atmosphere had been good. Yet he didn't seem to get it. He would listen to me, be...
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jaja
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5
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528
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Can you ever really be friends with your former A??
(Preview)
I really need to hear from other members, have you ever been able to be just friends with your former A? We lived together for 2 years known each other for two years after. Went through all kinds of things together. Now live six streets apart. I have gotten help with my codependency and attending Al -non...
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sisdragonfly1957
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8
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573
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Losing a loved one is a process
(Preview)
CJ had a post that made me think about crosstalk and then one response by Barisax mentioned that continuing with a tread of thought that might continue into another, should be a new topic....so here goes>>>a new topic: Losing a loved one, in this case my dad, has been a long and arduous proce...
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java
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5
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535
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Wow What a Break through
(Preview)
What a day today has been. I did alot of reading yeterday and I went to bed last night determined to wake up with a positive attitude. I did and I had a great day. There was a break through with my AH today. He tod me something that he has been carrying around for years and he says that it is one of the reasons he...
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janey225
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3
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443
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what has bothered me most
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One of the things about the A's actions that bothered me the most was that at the same time as he was demanding I take care of him and put him first he was always putting me last. The latest example of taking in the homeless couple is one of them. He told me last Wednesday he felt overwhelmed by their needs a...
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maresie2
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3
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470
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off topic question
(Preview)
OK, I am curious Clearly I am not the most computer savvy can anyone fill me in on where these neat avatars (that are not from the library images here) can be found?
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tea2
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5
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367
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A new delima
(Preview)
My A & I have been together 15 yrs but gradually, every year things get worse. Sometimes I think it just creeps up on us & we don't realize it has gotten so bad. Today my A's ex-daughter-in-law stopped by the house to tell me that when the A goes to his 14 yr old grandaughter's soccer games he's been...
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hopefully
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3
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439
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Getting comfortable with boundaries.... Don't have much of a choice
(Preview)
(((Hello my MIP Family))) Just wanted to share a little bit about boundaries. It's not my favorite topic but seems to be the most demanding aspect of my recovery right now. I do believe HP is challenging me to step it up in the boundaries department not just with my AH, with my kids, my job, and myself. ...
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twinmom2
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8
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554
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Alanon in action.
(Preview)
My ah came home from work yesterday very angry, our 16 year old son had spent a few hours working with him, they had got into an arguement and my husband was angry to the point of wanting to throw our son through the door, as my husband was telling me his voice was becoming louder and he was shaking with rage...
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Katy
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4
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506
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AW swipes my ODAT.... what a gift!
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))) My second F2F meeting I bought the ODAT daily reader. My morning routine was to drive into work and before entering into the chaos which is my job... read the daily passage and meditate a bit on what it means to me and my situations. Well, during a .... invigorating disscussion (LOL)...
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rtexas
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8
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584
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giving it all to HP
(Preview)
Right now I am giving it all to HP. After obtaining a judgment against me because the A did not move out (I signed a joint tenancy so I am liable) the landlord has let the A stay in exchange for some building work. In the meantime I am trying to get a Judge to sign an order saying he has to give the truck to me (wo...
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maresie2
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3
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259
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Asked for a miracle today
(Preview)
I've been pretty down lately. having some difficulty with a few things--anyway money extremely tight this month--you all know how that feels. So this morning I'm just talking with my HP and say you know what I could really use a miracle this week. Not 2 minutes later, for some reason I put my hand into...
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hudsond
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6
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575
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just more venting
(Preview)
It seems like that's all I do, complain :) It's been awhile since I've been on, we lost our internet for awhile. I guess it's just the same old same old going on here. I have a friend at work, my first in several years, and we've been able to go out a couple of times, just the girls, which was nice, because I h...
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minnie
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3
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444
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My HP at work, so I know I am doing the right thing..
(Preview)
For those of you that dont know my husband left Saturday (again) but this time it is different... Why ?? Because I am different. I ask him to leave and even gave him $$ to leave. I didnt cry ( at least not in front of him ) and I didnt BEG him not to leave !! I kept praying about when was the right time to take o...
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Tammy
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7
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518
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Stupid questions
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Is there a page that explains how this Board works? What is the whiteboard & what is subscriptions? How do you leave private messages to each other as has been mentioned in some comments. What is an avitar? What do some of the initials mean? I figured out f2f but it sure took awhile. There are others I...
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hopefully
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4
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387
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READ THIS...IT IS SO SAD......AN EXAMPLE OF A DAY AT A TIME
(Preview)
I was surfing the net looking for inspiration, on how to stop loving someone....lol (if only) And I found this, I had a few tears in my eye..... Gives new meaning to "Life is to short" I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, wh...
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ally
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3
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459
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Angry A lot of the time
(Preview)
Dear all, I am angry at the AH good bit of the time when he is sober. Some of the things are very trivial and he is not even aware that I get angry. Some examples are eating too loudly, walking faster than me and not appearing to care, suggesting a restaurant that I don't have an opinion on but it was not my num...
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renah
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7
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616
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WHY.....WHY......WHY...WHY...
(Preview)
(((Guys)))) I'm going through a very hard time right now.Emotionally..... I have a load of unanswered questions::: WHY....Was I born into a family with Alcoholism in it.... WHY....Have I been affected so badly by this.... WHY.... Has this put my Life on hold....Why has it held me back.... WHY...Do...
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ally
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15
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742
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Never Alone
(Preview)
A beautiful song I think by Jim Brickman, I have a copy of this in a chest I have for my daughter for her to read after I am dead. A must read, so beautiful. May the angels protect you Trouble neglect you And heaven accept you when its time to go home May you always have plenty The glass never empty Know in your b...
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davidssibling
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2
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266
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Letting go and letting god
(Preview)
One thing I am aware of is how little patience I have. Now that I have decided I want to sever all ties with the A I want it yesterday and then some. I have to go to court to get the truck back. I also have to go to court to appeal the rental issue which seems to say that I have to pay rent while he remains in the un...
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maresie2
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4
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612
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How long will my detox from him take?
(Preview)
I am better but still this feeling inside me persists. I wonder when it will lessen? When I think I am choosing to turn my mind to something else, I feel like I am denying what I am feeling, what I am going thru. It is a real, physical feeling. And when I think of him telling me he is in love with this other woman...
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serendipity
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6
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621
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moving to separation
(Preview)
I am moving past all the ambivalence all the stuff that kept me tied up with the A. All the "ifs" "if onlys" the "why" even. I am moving past to say I have had enough. I can no longer take his actions. I can no longer be made all the time to be the patsy to the consequences...
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maresie2
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2
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345
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ESH question????
(Preview)
So I am really not sure where to turn right now and I am struggling with this. My question is "is it ever okay to nudge the A along in their recovery?". I know this is "his" journey and I have tried to detach myself from "his" disease as best I can. I remove myself from sit...
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desert_brat
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10
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633
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Choice
(Preview)
I choose to live with my active A. I choose to put up with his jealousy and rude comments. I choose to take up his slack with responsability. I choose not to let it ruin my day or my life. Am I crazy? I make my own happiness. I will not let my A control my happiness! guess I just relly needed to say that this morni...
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steppgirl
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5
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394
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Letter I wrote to my husband a while back
(Preview)
Hi guys, just wanted to share this letter with you that I wrote to my husband (currently in jail) a couple weeks ago. I changed the names to protect the guilty...LOL Dear Alcoholic/Junkie, This letter has been a long time coming and has taken me a while to get to writing. Im so glad that I came to pick yo...
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carolinagirl
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5
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442
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hurt again
(Preview)
How does life get here. My A. I love him I do, but, I'm tired, I have no self esteem left, I doubt my friends, I doubt my life, I doubt myself. Leave him, Leave him, leave him. I hear that so many times. Well that might be easier if a) I didn't love him b) we weren't married c) I had someplace to live d) I h...
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stephie
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5
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519
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I am so confused
(Preview)
I am new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been attending AA meetings and been trying to get sober from what I can tell. He moved out last week. I have so much anger toward him. I worry about him all the time. I am so lost and I dont know what to do. I have 3 children with him.I love him so much but I feel lik...
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janey225
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6
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494
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FEELING VERY CONFUSED TONIGHT
(Preview)
Hey Guys, Came back from f2f tonight, Topic was...Helping the Alcoholic... I'm sitting here, with my jacket and shoes still on, been home two hrs....I feel so powerless over Ally..... The last two days I have been having emotional difficulties.....I am trying sooo hard to let go of someone...
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ally
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5
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349
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Yosemite Conference????
(Preview)
Does anyone know when the Yosemite Conference is? Someone went one time and said it was great. Nancy
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nmike
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1
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344
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Acceptance vs Submission
(Preview)
Please give me some feedback on this subject. Thanks
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bobbie7277
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4
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2790
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I need a sponsor...
(Preview)
My regular meeting sponsor is NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! When I talk to her she is usually distracted and I feel like I'm wasting her time or she's not really interested in what I have to say. I haven't really been given any direction on working the steps. I know I am ready to move on in my recovery and think if...
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carolinagirl
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6
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553
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Where do I draw the line with son?
(Preview)
My soon-to-be 21-year-old son is currently serving 40-day sentence in jail for a second DUI. He'll be out in 10 days. My husband is a recovering alcoholic for 15 years now (yay!), so I've been through this before. I have no idea if my son is an alcholic or just having too much fun and thought he could ge...
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blufan
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5
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645
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Song Lyrics
(Preview)
Bought an old cassette at a garage sale yesterday. First song that came on when I popped it in seemed to be sent to all of you who are leaving, have just left, are thinking of leaving, your A. "Well I know it wasn't you who held me down Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free So often times it happens T...
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lin0606
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4
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1320
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Sponsorship, What It's All About
(Preview)
I have read several post that our some of the member are looking for or considering finding a sponsor. At my f2f meeting last night I found a pamphlet on Sponsorship. Although I can't type all of it, I thought I would post some of the info that I thought was really helpful. It is a really great pamp...
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Rita G
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2
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6615
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HP Has a Funny Sense of Humor
(Preview)
I was outside today taking a moment to let go of work related issues that were getting to me. I was looking up at the trees and asked HP if He was there. A bird landed on the fence to my left. He pooped and flew away. I guess HP was telling me to "Let Go, Let God".
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kissers
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2
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389
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Bitter
(Preview)
Usually I am full of fun and jokes, actually still am, but inside I am feeling a boiling point of bitterness to all the A's in my life. All the A's in the world. Seriously have to get hold of myself. I feel if an A were to come to me for a sip of water, if I were to smell alcohol on them I would slam the door, even if I...
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davidssibling
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3
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417
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It took a long time for me to share this, but here goes
(Preview)
It has taken me a long time to be ready to share this. My son sent this to me while he was still in prison. He stated this was "his" life and this poem meant a lot to him. It meant so much to receive this from him and I was touched to the core of my being. I thought I would share it with you. BTW he has been...
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doxie
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8
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690
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I can be really hateful -- and I hate that!
(Preview)
I just really need to vent. My husband is in recovery and he is about a month and a half sober. I am so happy that his is doing well in his program and extremely proud of him. However, something that drives me really really nuts is when he gets into his "holier than thou" mode. I smoke cigarett...
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sash
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11
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661
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A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime
(Preview)
I am always going on about "reason, season, lifetime," based on something I saw years ago, and strangely someone just sent it to me again today. I had to see it as a message from HP and wanted to share it. It has brought me a lot of peace in my life. Today - we might as well dance!! People come int...
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TLM
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0
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361
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SHEESH! WHAT IS THIS? SH*T ON GOOD PEOPLE WEEK?
(Preview)
I am horrified at what John is going through, I have seen it before and I think it's from some jealous, spiteful person/persons. Then my son called me last night, really upset. ( he is the one who had that meat-eating chemical splashed full in his face a few weeks ago). He hasn't regained full vision,an...
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TLC2
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10
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695
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The Pastor's Donkey
(Preview)
(((((Family)))) Some "Sunday Go Ta Meetin" humor with a moral for ya! *The Pastor's Donkey* *The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. * *The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race** ** and it won again.* * **The local paper read: * * PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRO...
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david62
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11
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549
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How do I begin ???
(Preview)
I dont even know where to start... My life is such a mess. My A husband and I have been riding this wild rollercoaster since it seems like forever. Really it has been 2 1/2 years. We seperated in September then 5 days later he received a DUI, I thought that was his rock bottom. Although we were living ap...
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Tammy
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7
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686
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one down, more to go
(Preview)
Ok, I passed my CNA exam!! I started taking the class in late January, not long after I found MIP, as a way of building myself up. Most people know a CNA is a small victory, but it's significant for me- I have never completed any sort of training program before. Now I have a wider area of job opportunity and i...
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RainyJamie
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6
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315
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Did you ever receive amends???
(Preview)
Heartbroken in NJ reminded me of this question. My AH never made amends to me. Of all people in his life, the mother of his child, the woman who was his friend/lover and wife for way over thirty years, never received one. He even made amends to his horrible dysfunctional family members who surely did not...
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debilyn
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11
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1175
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Just back from an Area Al-Anon Convention...
(Preview)
and I am flying high on the program!!
If you have an opportunity to attend a convention, I highly recommend it. This was my second convention and the experience just keeps getting better. I spent the weekend with 300 fellow Al-Anoners, socializing and attending workshops and panel discuss...
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SLS
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3
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418
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The River
(Preview)
Lin0606's post got me to thinking how so many songs (if dissected have such deeper meaning...and maybe we can even find some al-anon philosophy in some, if we have our minds in the right place. Thanks Lin0606, for going to the garage sale! I am a substitute teacher and an english teacher wanted her 6th g...
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java
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1
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383
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Day two....
(Preview)
Today is day two without my husband. I am trying to stay busy and not think about my heart that is broken but it is really hard. I am not crying so much so I think that is a start but I am not sure where to go from here. I havent called him either so that is HUGE for me.. Baby steps I guess... Everywhere I look I s...
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Tammy
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5
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592
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A new beginning!
(Preview)
Hello friends
It's been quite a while since I've posted. I do visit and read new posts often, even if I don't always respond. I'm still around!
I wanted to give you all a quick update. If you've been following along... you know that I left and divorced my A/Cocaine addict husband. The divorce was f...
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artygirl
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3
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324
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do not take for granted your friends
(Preview)
Today is the first day without my best friend. We burried her yesterday. Have you ever really thought of what your wake would be like? How have you touched others? What have you given back for all that you receieved? For me I got the opportuenity once again to affirm my beleives about someone I cared ab...
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MaggiG
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6
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373
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so much to think about
(Preview)
It's been one whole year yesterday, since my A h put down the drink, for the first few weeks we had a honey moon period, and it was looking like we were going to have the man, husband, father, we alway's wanted, I thought he would be sooooooo happy to be free of the addiction he would start to live and enj...
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Katy
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2
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493
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Thought y'all would like these...
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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2
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411
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Java/choice?
(Preview)
"It is sad when the person they were isn't there anymore, like alzheimers, alcoholism eventually robs us and them of themselves...who they were, that is sad. But it is THEIR choice. And it's my choice if I chose to love them anyway...." In my experience it is not a "choice" to hav...
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debilyn
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6
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600
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The Cross Room (Story and Poem)
(Preview)
The Cross Room The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, o...
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John
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3
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5092
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HELP....BEFORE I JUMP IN THERE AGAIN
(Preview)
(((Guys)))))) You all know I opened a face to face group last week..I had six members...tonight I had five.. As the group is only new, I am the ONLY member...lol I asked someone would they like to chair tonight, she agreed, and I sat back thinking,"Ally Girl" see what you have achieved in you...
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ally
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11
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762
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Elephant in da Living Room?
(Preview)
Acknowledging Alcoholism Can Begin RecoveryBobby: "Psssst. Don't tell anyone. It's our secret! There's an elephant in the living room, but we're pretending it's not really there and it's not really an elephant." Billy: "But it smells and it's enormous!" Bobby: "Jus...
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John
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4
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583
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