Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

annmarie · annmarie

I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...

maresie2 · maresie2

The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...

Kim65 · Kim65

In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

kissers · kissers

I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.

hersh · hersh

Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...

Katy · Katy

Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...

cc · cc

Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc

serendipity · serendipity

I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...

kiddo · kiddo

The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....

kissers · kissers

My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...

Rita G · Rita G

Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....

maire rua · maire rua

Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...

debilyn · debilyn

I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn

eileen123 · eileen123

We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...

8strong · 8strong

Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...

jaja · jaja

...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...

kiddo · kiddo

Hey, normally I wouldn't start a new topic about being the new kid, but I see a couple other topics like this so I guess you guys won't mind... I don't really know how to start off my foruming here. My name's Sarah, I'm 21 years old. My boyfriend is in rehab for alcoholism. I'm here because I need people to ta...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

"THE WEEKEND" ... those are two words I really don't look forward to anymore. Those are two words that have become synonymous with "alone", "fearful", "sad", "worried", "depressed", but most of all "ANXIETY". Duri...

Kim65 · Kim65

Is "felonious" a word? Anyway, for those who missed my most recent post, my A has finally, thank HP, been "stopped" by the law, and is at the county jail on a $25,000 bond for felony narcotic posession in three counties and two states. I obtained an ex parte yesterday, and go back t...

ally · ally

Guys In reading the BIG book, I came across this sentance. "We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for).....Page 559. This Is confusing me... As you know I have a Recovering A in my life.. Who's working the programm...

pabell · pabell

This is a hard one for me to put out... Stories can be so conveluded and so screwed up. I'll try and do the abbreviated one. So as Iv'e said before, my husband has refraimed from alcohol use for 5 months now. Thats an absolute miriacle in itself. And I must say life is better then it has been in years.......

gardengal · gardengal

For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...

maresie2 · maresie2

I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...

carla036 · carla036

Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...

serendipity · serendipity

I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.

Tammy · Tammy

Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...

greta · greta

I spoke with my son tonight. His mouth said the things I would like to hear him say. Time will tell if the walk will do the same. I know he is scared, He did say though "this might all come out good....I can see this is not where I want to be." He has a court appearance at 1 pm tomorrow. Now to me...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Continuation from "Enforcing the Boundaries" post...AH came home Sunday, was all aplogetic, but I said "what do you have to say that's gonna be different than all the other times? I don't wanna hear the same old stuff - it doesn't mean anything." He said "I wanna get help....

serendipity · serendipity

I have done nothing but cry for the past 2 days. I hold it together long enough to make thru my meetings. But as soon as I am alone ( which is when I am not at a meeting) I cry hysterically. I have been on my couch crying all day. I can't even get it together enough to do anything besides get up to use the bathroom...

marmare · marmare

I went for my dianogstic test yesterday. Dr. seems to think it's a natural change in breast tissue. I will go back in 6 months to make sure. But he didn't feel it was warranted to even do the ultra-sound...so good news here. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers! Hugs Mar

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((MIP DADS)))))), Just wanted to take a moment and wish all those MIP Dads tomorrow: HAPPY, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! May it be extra special for you. To those of you who are playing the role of Dad for whatever reason, HAPPY FATHERS DAY too! Or for those Dads who are also playing Mom too: HAPPY FAT...

pearlygirrl · pearlygirrl

I recently returned to alanon after nine months (I had only been in recovery for 6 months, but they had been very successful months. I stopped going because I moved and it has taken me this long to return, or rather, to stop denying the feeling that my life is out of control again). I am in such a state of c...

Jamekaticy · Jamekaticy

I'm new to posting, too. I've been reading here for about 8 months, posted a few times, and think I should introduce myself. My partner -- he's more than a boyfriend -- is the first active A I've known, or at least who's been a big part of my life. I had a few recovering A boyfriends, and interestingly e...

Christy · Christy

The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 AD) in the crypts of Westminster Abbey and illustrate how one man recognized the importance of working on himself first:"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew...

QOD · QOD

I am so freakin' stressin' out right now. I am just getting so tired of being the only one to contribute financially to my household. My AH just started a new job this week and it is a good steady job w/a good company. He has worked w/them before and they know his history. So that is good. Problem, he has...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...

serendipity · serendipity

So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...

muppet · muppet

I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...

ler0719 · ler0719

Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...

java · java

My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...

greta · greta

This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...

karrele · karrele

I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...

Kim65 · Kim65

I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	family disfunction (Preview) I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...	annmarie	6	629	Jun 21, 2007 by drucilla06
	A Year Ago Today (Preview) Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...	Barbs45	6	562	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Wavering on the visitation of the A (Preview) I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...	carolinagirl	8	573	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	the good nes is (Preview) The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...	maresie2	7	429	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Went to the local AA meeting last night (Preview) In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...	Kim65	10	772	Jun 21, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this Magical Thinking? (Preview) I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...	carolinagirl	7	716	Jun 21, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	What REALLY happens in bars (Preview)	Tiger2006	3	486	Jun 21, 2007 by kiddo
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.	kissers	5	478	Jun 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Recovery, jail, AA, etc... (Preview) Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...	hersh	10	584	Jun 21, 2007 by bill f
	Sobriety? (Preview) Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...	Katy	6	611	Jun 21, 2007 by Katy
	chat room (Preview) Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc	cc	1	447	Jun 20, 2007 by John
	My mother (Preview) I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...	serendipity	5	552	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	Feeling Selfish (Preview) The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....	kiddo	6	567	Jun 20, 2007 by kiddo
	Lost and confused (Preview) My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...	kissers	7	609	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	How can you know how I feel? (Preview) Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...	Rita G	10	634	Jun 20, 2007 by carolena
	why is it sometimes so easy to walk away (Preview) One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....	maresie2	4	648	Jun 20, 2007 by nmike
	Giving up controlling ways (Preview) Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...	maire rua	1	391	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	QOD???? (Preview) I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn	debilyn	3	428	Jun 20, 2007 by QOD
	Where can I start. (Preview) We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...	eileen123	7	794	Jun 20, 2007 by eileen123
	Not handling the labels well (Preview) New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...	mosaicmax	14	813	Jun 20, 2007 by mosaicmax
	New here, just my second post (Preview) Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...	8strong	3	641	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	Amends, apologies, and forgiveness (Preview) Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...	Tiger2006	1	769	Jun 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Just what is "wet brain"? (Preview) ...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...	jaja	4	8641	Jun 20, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Hey guys, I'm new. (Preview) Hey, normally I wouldn't start a new topic about being the new kid, but I see a couple other topics like this so I guess you guys won't mind... I don't really know how to start off my foruming here. My name's Sarah, I'm 21 years old. My boyfriend is in rehab for alcoholism. I'm here because I need people to ta...	kiddo	11	654	Jun 20, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	The weekend... (Preview) "THE WEEKEND" ... those are two words I really don't look forward to anymore. Those are two words that have become synonymous with "alone", "fearful", "sad", "worried", "depressed", but most of all "ANXIETY". Duri...	Gurl25	3	515	Jun 20, 2007 by Gurl25
	Update on me and my felonious A (Preview) Is "felonious" a word? Anyway, for those who missed my most recent post, my A has finally, thank HP, been "stopped" by the law, and is at the county jail on a $25,000 bond for felony narcotic posession in three counties and two states. I obtained an ex parte yesterday, and go back t...	Kim65	3	527	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	WANT OR NEED (Preview) Guys In reading the BIG book, I came across this sentance. "We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for).....Page 559. This Is confusing me... As you know I have a Recovering A in my life.. Who's working the programm...	ally	3	581	Jun 20, 2007 by Barbs45
	An outcast in my own home...weird (Preview) This is a hard one for me to put out... Stories can be so conveluded and so screwed up. I'll try and do the abbreviated one. So as Iv'e said before, my husband has refraimed from alcohol use for 5 months now. Thats an absolute miriacle in itself. And I must say life is better then it has been in years.......	pabell	5	694	Jun 20, 2007 by Baffled
	Do you blame others for your unhappiness? (Preview) For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mi...	gardengal	6	1193	Jun 20, 2007 by Baffled
	Finances and re-finances (Preview) I have tried, multiple times, to cut and paste today's article from Yahoo! writer David Bach, aka "The Automatic Millionare," however, no dice. Today's article has two critical subjects in it that I know concern many of our readers and members: an earlier article he wrote, "6 ways...	Tiger2006	0	366	Jun 19, 2007 by Tiger2006
	update (Preview) I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income. I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival. I could allow myself to feel in...	maresie2	2	468	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	He's horrible even on Father's Day (Preview) I know my ah is throwing a temper tantrum but why take it out on the kids? I had to call ah and beg him to please call the kids for Father's Day because they are not understanding why he's not calling. I honestly think he would sweep them under the rug as well. He totally hates me because I had the miscarriage....	Friendofyours	15	648	Jun 19, 2007 by Gurl25
	Being Used (Preview) I was reading over some other posts and was thinking about my A and my intense anger toward him for finding another girl that he keeps "ending up with". I was pondering the obvious fact that he just can't be alone. Then it hit me. I'm not there anymore to do all his crap for him and take care of...	carolinagirl	11	813	Jun 19, 2007 by maresie2
	Reconnecting and taking care of me ;) (Preview) Hi All~ I am taking some time this week to take care of me and reconnect with the program and my hp. My oldest three kids are away this week on vaca with my former hub,so I only have the baby during the days. While I miss them,I know they are having a blast with dad and their cousins and grandparents. I made a v...	carla036	2	593	Jun 19, 2007 by belle1
	The power of Al-Anon (Preview) I came here, gosh only a 2 weeks ago at most. It has already made a huge difference in my life. I worked the first 2 steps, started posting up here, and set my official boundaries for AH. I've set boundaries before only to have him disregard them or talk me into letting him have beer in the house bc he promise...	Gurl25	4	487	Jun 19, 2007 by twinmom2
	ESH needed (Preview) It is difficult to decide where to start with this one. A very good friend of mine who is new into her AA recovery is going through a difficult time at the moment. Her husband had charges against him (non addiction related) during all of the court appearances he was told that he would not be facing jail t...	Mobirdie	3	530	Jun 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Dealing with Debt Collector's (Preview) Has got to be one of the most scariest things I've been up against. Now of course the whole mess with AH kicked this thing off, but after assessing all of this honestly I have come to realize my part in all of this and the avalanche would have happened at some point this year regardless. Living with A'ism...	twinmom2	6	680	Jun 19, 2007 by carla036
	Got my stinky mutts back! (Preview) I went and picked up my dogs from my mom's today and brought them home. They had been with her for a year. When we lost the house she took them because I wasn't allowed to have dogs in the place I was renting. It is so nice to have them here. I have missed them so and now I have a reason to get out there and walk the...	serendipity	3	460	Jun 19, 2007 by annmarie
	Anyone have trouble posting? (Preview) Twice I wrote up a post and when I hit submit there was some sort of error.	Gurl25	2	458	Jun 18, 2007 by pabell
	Maybe I am the one that is CRAZY ???? (Preview) Wow, what a week.. !! I have rode this emotional rollercoaster until I am ready to puke.. It started Tuesday when I saw a friend of my husbands ( a female ) and realized that she was out on our boat. I lost it had an anxiety attack so bad my daughter was going to call 911. I finally got myself together and ca...	Tammy	9	536	Jun 18, 2007 by Tammy
	not looking forward to tomorrow (Preview) I spoke with my son tonight. His mouth said the things I would like to hear him say. Time will tell if the walk will do the same. I know he is scared, He did say though "this might all come out good....I can see this is not where I want to be." He has a court appearance at 1 pm tomorrow. Now to me...	greta	8	682	Jun 18, 2007 by maire rua
	Some good news ~ hopefully (Enforcing the Boundaries cont.) (Preview) Continuation from "Enforcing the Boundaries" post...AH came home Sunday, was all aplogetic, but I said "what do you have to say that's gonna be different than all the other times? I don't wanna hear the same old stuff - it doesn't mean anything." He said "I wanna get help....	Gurl25	3	540	Jun 18, 2007 by Christy
	Is this part of the process? (Preview) I have done nothing but cry for the past 2 days. I hold it together long enough to make thru my meetings. But as soon as I am alone ( which is when I am not at a meeting) I cry hysterically. I have been on my couch crying all day. I can't even get it together enough to do anything besides get up to use the bathroom...	serendipity	9	696	Jun 18, 2007 by canadianguy
	Dr./Test Results (Preview) I went for my dianogstic test yesterday. Dr. seems to think it's a natural change in breast tissue. I will go back in 6 months to make sure. But he didn't feel it was warranted to even do the ultra-sound...so good news here. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers! Hugs Mar	marmare	9	520	Jun 18, 2007 by Rita G
	MIP DADS..... (Preview) (((((((((((MIP DADS)))))), Just wanted to take a moment and wish all those MIP Dads tomorrow: HAPPY, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! May it be extra special for you. To those of you who are playing the role of Dad for whatever reason, HAPPY FATHERS DAY too! Or for those Dads who are also playing Mom too: HAPPY FAT...	Karilynn	3	481	Jun 18, 2007 by Rita G
	confused and returning to recovery (Preview) I recently returned to alanon after nine months (I had only been in recovery for 6 months, but they had been very successful months. I stopped going because I moved and it has taken me this long to return, or rather, to stop denying the feeling that my life is out of control again). I am in such a state of c...	pearlygirrl	3	617	Jun 18, 2007 by babysteps
	Another new one (Preview) I'm new to posting, too. I've been reading here for about 8 months, posted a few times, and think I should introduce myself. My partner -- he's more than a boyfriend -- is the first active A I've known, or at least who's been a big part of my life. I had a few recovering A boyfriends, and interestingly e...	Jamekaticy	6	543	Jun 18, 2007 by babysteps
	Working on yourself first (Preview) The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 AD) in the crypts of Westminster Abbey and illustrate how one man recognized the importance of working on himself first:"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew...	Christy	7	596	Jun 18, 2007 by drucilla06
	Oh I'm Stressin'! (Preview) I am so freakin' stressin' out right now. I am just getting so tired of being the only one to contribute financially to my household. My AH just started a new job this week and it is a good steady job w/a good company. He has worked w/them before and they know his history. So that is good. Problem, he has...	QOD	9	618	Jun 18, 2007 by QOD
	Enforcing the Boundaries (venting abit) (Preview) Turns out that he did EXACTLY what he's done so many times, he came home around 8, but said I'm going for tacos, invites us then uninvites us (our daughter and son, 5yrs & 6mos) bc I don't have extra money n neither does he (his friend had offered to pay for him). I specifically asked him please be home s...	Gurl25	3	569	Jun 18, 2007 by Gurl25
	the hooks for me (Preview) I am always amazed that I can do things for others I can't do for myself. I may have found the A somewhere to live. I don't think it is for me but for him it would work. Of course I am going to ask him to come up with the money to move there. I am not going to pay if unless I live there. And I am leery and very very r...	maresie2	2	513	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Talk about crazy! (Preview) So, I woke up this morning with a smile. That hasn't happened in months. It was fleeting but it was there. I went to my meeting. The feeling came creeping in, the anixety and pain. But I still wasn't crying. I was ok. Today is so damn hard. Father's Day and I've lost my dad and the kid's dad. There are no dad's...	serendipity	2	367	Jun 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Feeling fed up (Preview) I was taken into hospital early hours Friday with suspected angina. Turns out I have chronic degenerative arthritis. I texted the A when I was in and 0520am today I got a call from him saying he was lost, could I help him, he had noone else.... NOT a mention as to how I was. I then put my phone on silent- 8 miss...	muppet	5	506	Jun 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	What happens at the meetings? (Preview) Hello. I am going to try to go to my first meeting today...I was wondering if the meetings are like AA meetings and what goes on exactly? Is there a speaker or does everyone speak? Thank you for your help.. Also...it shows like this : Thursday - B7:30 and right underneath the 7:30 it says 8:00??? Wh...	ler0719	4	1281	Jun 17, 2007 by kiddo
	Father's Day poem, for my dad (Preview) My dad died in Feb. 2002, during the ice storm that winter. It was if the wrenching of his soul from this earth was so dramatic that the trees cracked as the storm raged on, while his life blood slipped from this earth. This poem is in dedication to my dad. Family Tree Dad is still with me. I feel him still in...	java	3	943	Jun 17, 2007 by java
	Sponsors (Preview) So I have someone who I knew had been in Alanon for 7 years, and two husbands. She went with me to my first meeting and has been "coaching" me about the program ever since. I call her whenever I am confused or angry and she helps me see my side of it and suggests things to say (or in my case, NOT say)...	mosaicmax	3	365	Jun 17, 2007 by supergirl
	One more time (Preview) This morning I am numb. Last night I let my son use my car to cash his pay check. I was hesitant because it had smoked and I needed to get it looked at. I said to him, just go to the bank because it was smoking. Went out to finish mowing my lawn and showed my sis how to use my riding mower...( it can be fun) and...	greta	5	580	Jun 17, 2007 by gardengal
	Higher Power (Preview) I have always struggled with the "higher power" concept which has prevented me from completing the 12 steps. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem. So I thought I would share some information that helped me. We discussed this very issue during Family Education night at the tre...	karrele	2	2103	Jun 17, 2007 by Lisa44
	The sheriff showed up tonight (Preview) I was out milking the goats when a police cruiser pulled up . . . I already knew what they were there for. The A ran from police, was tazed into submission, and is now in the ER on police guard. "Sorry to have to tell you this, ma'am" said the cop. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, good....	Kim65	16	818	Jun 17, 2007 by debilyn
	Things are getting pretty bad with ah (Preview) Ah is no longer sober and I saw the true him once again the night I was in the ER miscarrying. The next day I told him that I could not do it all over again and that I have to file for the divorce. That was my boundary and he crossed it so it's going to be done. Now he is with holding money and giving me and the kids no...	Friendofyours	9	692	Jun 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.