Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Katy · Katy

Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....

Kim65 · Kim65

I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...

Rita G · Rita G

MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms

serendipity · serendipity

I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...

gknee · gknee

I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...

serendipity · serendipity

sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.

jaja · jaja

And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....

twinkie · twinkie

I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...

jaja · jaja

You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...

still searching · still searching

things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...

ReUnited · ReUnited

Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...

maresie2 · maresie2

Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...

maresie2 · maresie2

You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...

kissers · kissers

My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......

Hopelesswife · Hopelesswife

Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Sometimes, those who wander are lost!

Gurl25 · Gurl25

If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...

annmarie · annmarie

I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...

maresie2 · maresie2

The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...

Kim65 · Kim65

In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

kissers · kissers

I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.

hersh · hersh

Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...

Katy · Katy

Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...

cc · cc

Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc

serendipity · serendipity

I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...

kiddo · kiddo

The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....

kissers · kissers

My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...

Rita G · Rita G

Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....

maire rua · maire rua

Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...

debilyn · debilyn

I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn

eileen123 · eileen123

We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...

8strong · 8strong

Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...

jaja · jaja

...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sorry, just got to ask? (Preview) Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...	Katy	10	601	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	one more question regarding my last post (Preview) My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....	serendipity	13	723	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Facing the music (sigh) (Preview) I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...	Kim65	10	678	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Question about forks (Preview) Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...	Jennifer	11	646	Jun 25, 2007 by ShelBell
	Elizabethtown, KY (Preview) MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...	Rita G	1	2041	Jun 25, 2007 by carolena
	I Don't know about the forks but I know where the socks go (Preview) (((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms	lilms	6	483	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	Just to let you know (Preview) I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...	serendipity	4	669	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	face to face observation (Preview) I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...	gknee	4	676	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A controling my life (Preview) Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...	Denoraphy	2	476	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	His Excuse (Preview) So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...	Gurl25	5	474	Jun 25, 2007 by Gurl25
	He stole my mother's credit cards (Preview) sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.	serendipity	5	723	Jun 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Hugs matter (Preview) And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...	jaja	1	519	Jun 25, 2007 by Lunamoth
	On Sex w/ AH (Preview) As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...	Gurl25	8	1259	Jun 25, 2007 by QOD
	Sometimes I can't shut up (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....	Lunamoth	7	634	Jun 25, 2007 by gknee
	In Need of Some ESH! (Preview) I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...	twinkie	9	609	Jun 25, 2007 by twinkie
	I went (Preview) I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...	carolinagirl	4	643	Jun 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Just needing a hug tonight (Preview) You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...	jaja	7	559	Jun 25, 2007 by carla036
	A is getting sued (Preview) Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...	RainyJamie	6	743	Jun 25, 2007 by Diva
	-but I can't control what he does...I mean I don't want to!!! (Preview) About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...	RainyJamie	5	633	Jun 25, 2007 by babysteps
	enough is enough (Preview) things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...	still searching	7	752	Jun 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Getting off the Merry Go Round/NO MORE DRAMA (Preview) If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...	hippietrippiechick	7	748	Jun 24, 2007 by Sunny2007
	New here (Preview) Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...	ReUnited	7	730	Jun 24, 2007 by ReUnited
	I posted this on the AA board yesterday-(long) (Preview) A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...	mom to 2	3	636	Jun 24, 2007 by mom to 2
	FOCUSING ON F2F AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...	ally	10	741	Jun 24, 2007 by carosie
	Are the things they say meaningless? (Preview) When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...	Friendofyours	5	741	Jun 24, 2007 by Becky1
	Cautiously Optimistic (Preview) My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...	Loupiness	1	566	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	things changing-- for the better (Preview) Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...	gknee	7	618	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	on the same wavelength (Preview) Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...	gknee	3	624	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Gradn gestures (Preview) Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...	maresie2	1	434	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	going into the weekend with my head on straight (Preview) The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...	maresie2	2	443	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Not being in reactivity (Preview) You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...	maresie2	5	778	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Feeling Good (Preview) My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...	kissers	2	420	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Just when you thought... (Preview) Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......	Tiger2006	3	487	Jun 22, 2007 by twinmom2
	new and hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...	Hopelesswife	11	802	Jun 22, 2007 by carla036
	Sometimes... (Preview) Sometimes, those who wander are lost!	Tiger2006	0	408	Jun 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
	I'm trying to help you!!! Vent @ AH (Preview) If I didn't care about you I'd say forget it, get out, leave me, I'm DONE. But no I have offered to look up all of the meetings, to take you once a wk, to help you get better. You said you wanted to get help - SO WHY NOW ARE YOU GRIPING ABT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO ONE MTG A WK???? You put yourself here - there are so ma...	Gurl25	7	753	Jun 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	Need help detaching (Preview) I don't have an official sponsor yet so I'm not sure where to turn. Just talked to my H, who stated non-chalantly that he was going to a condo opening next week. There will be alcohol there and possibly some of the people who influence him to use. I am terrified. But I did not say anything, I just held my tong...	mosaicmax	8	637	Jun 21, 2007 by mosaicmax
	family disfunction (Preview) I come from an Afamily, and believe we are all affected by that. My mother is very codependant and controlling. I am the eldest child, born to them when they were young and unmarried (I recently learned). I felt excluded a lot of ways in my childhood and now can sort of understand why. I believe both my pa...	annmarie	6	698	Jun 21, 2007 by drucilla06
	A Year Ago Today (Preview) Hi Everyone, Haven't posted in a while. It's a year ago today since my exhusband who was an A and he died. He also sexually abused my son, I remain to this day to be disgusted by this. Today in the local newspaper, his sisters and his surviving partner pay tribute to him. My son to this day struggles with his...	Barbs45	6	631	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Wavering on the visitation of the A (Preview) I am still wavering back and forth on whether to visit the A in jail or not this Friday. I keep asking myself why do it to myself? It's my day off, its 2 hrs of driving for a 45 min visit, I KNOW I have better things to do! Why do I feel the urge to go? BTW I have been smoking off and on and quit again last week (grum...	carolinagirl	8	642	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	the good nes is (Preview) The good news is that the A and the dogs now have a place to live. The bad news is that I will probalby not get to see my dogs till the end of the month. I simply can't do the gas to go see them after all the expenses I have had. The bad news is also that I continue to live with the fall out around the active a...	maresie2	7	500	Jun 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Went to the local AA meeting last night (Preview) In my previous post I mentioned I was invited to attend the local AA meetings and just speak up and participate as an Alanon. I went last night, and it was peopled by the husb/wife couple who "started" AA up in the little 400 population town close to my place and a guy with 3 months sobriety. We...	Kim65	10	836	Jun 21, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this Magical Thinking? (Preview) I have decided I'm looking for a sign. I sent the request out 2 weeks ago for the visit at jail and have not gotten a letter since confirming if I am scheduled or not. If I don't get a letter today I don't go. If I do, I go. Simple, if HP wants me to go there will be a letter in the mailbox today confirming the v...	carolinagirl	7	793	Jun 21, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	What REALLY happens in bars (Preview)	Tiger2006	3	567	Jun 21, 2007 by kiddo
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) I was hoping after I ignored his last two attempts at contacting me he would go away, but he contacted me again tonight. I sent him an email telling him to no longer contact me because I am moving on with my life. I feel so angry and hurt. He must really get off on trying to torture me.	kissers	5	555	Jun 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Recovery, jail, AA, etc... (Preview) Hi friends: I have not posted in a great while - major trouble with this site, replying also!! Anyway, things are strange now, but when I think back to around a year ago, things are so much better. Sober AH is in jail now, work release until August 24th for his third DUI on October 29, 2006. He has not dra...	hersh	10	655	Jun 21, 2007 by bill f
	Sobriety? (Preview) Well this is an honest programme and this is how I feel, drink wasn't the sole cause of all our realtionship problems, it made them worse but take the drink away and still I think I married a person with a lot of problems, for all the 27 years I struggled with active alcholism I never really understood what...	Katy	6	715	Jun 21, 2007 by Katy
	chat room (Preview) Does anybody know what this message means? I get it when I try to log into chatroom? "Connecting... Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net.SocketPermission irc.chat4all.org resolve) " thanks, cc	cc	1	518	Jun 20, 2007 by John
	My mother (Preview) I am so sick of whining! Man, I have actually felt graditude in these past 4 days. I have been slowly falling in love with my house and feeling slightly good about owning a home, a really nice home at that. I have friends who love me so very much and this program and meetings every day if I choose to go. I am a v...	serendipity	5	627	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	Feeling Selfish (Preview) The past couple days I've been feeling pretty crappy. I just had my wisdom teeth out (not much pain, thank God, but a lot of puffiness, drowsiness and not much "satisfying" food). After visiting Matt for the first time on Sunday, I've been feeling really upset about this whole situation....	kiddo	6	642	Jun 20, 2007 by kiddo
	Lost and confused (Preview) My ex boyfriend called me at work a while back and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he felt uncomfortable because I have children. I was in total shock. I have a feeling that it was just an excuse for something else that bothered him, but I just said, "okay". He said he still wan...	kissers	7	681	Jun 20, 2007 by kissers
	How can you know how I feel? (Preview) Have you ever felt that way? As you sit in the meetings or as you read the replies from the members, do you think like I do? Do you think to yourself, can they really know how I feel? Do they really know what I'm going thru? I have to say, even after almost 4 yrs in recovery, I found myself thinking that - do t...	Rita G	10	698	Jun 20, 2007 by carolena
	why is it sometimes so easy to walk away (Preview) One of my housemates is this incredibly nice man, Gilbert. When he isnt' drinking he is the soul of the earth, considerate, kind, accomodating, generous. Put some alcohol into him and he becomes super belligerant. One day last week he brought me breakfast next he went wild about me doing the laundry....	maresie2	4	717	Jun 20, 2007 by nmike
	Giving up controlling ways (Preview) Tonight my son has gone out with friends but is due to work with me very early tomorrow morning. I'm proud of myself, I just rang once and calmly told him what the start was tomorrow and asked him was he ok for a ride home. I also told him to be careful. Last year, I would be in emotional mess now and though I do...	maire rua	1	458	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	QOD???? (Preview) I'm calling yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!! Sending smoke signals, putting up fliers, sening an APB,,,,,, ver are yew dahling??? love,debilyn	debilyn	3	514	Jun 20, 2007 by QOD
	Where can I start. (Preview) We took my best friend to the detox wing at our local hospital yesterday. He's been struggling with alcoholism his whole adult life (30+ years). The last relapse has been about 3/4 years long. But increasingly worse over the last 3 months. He agreed to go to a 28 day program, that will begin as soon as the...	eileen123	7	862	Jun 20, 2007 by eileen123
	Not handling the labels well (Preview) New to Al-anon and all of this. My counselor, Alanon, and the books I am reading for both say that I am co-dependent and controlling. I don't feel that way at all, but if I am, I am willing to change. I guess I am just wondering if you guys felt that way. A year ago I filed for divorce and ever since then I have be...	mosaicmax	14	890	Jun 20, 2007 by mosaicmax
	New here, just my second post (Preview) Hello. I have an AGF of four years who has now been sober for just over a year. I have tried a few face to face meetings but all the meetings in my area seem to be mostly A's, and I don't feel comfortable discussing how difficult it is to be with an A, in front of A's So AGF, just days after her 1 year sobriety an...	8strong	3	716	Jun 20, 2007 by Rita G
	Amends, apologies, and forgiveness (Preview) Often times I hear questions of "How do I forgive?" "What is the difference between amends and apologies?" "How do I get my loved one to make amends?" I thought today's reading was fantastic. I also thought it made me recall a time when I was baffled by Al anon's parado...	Tiger2006	1	864	Jun 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Just what is "wet brain"? (Preview) ...and how far progressed might an A be before they appear to have it? My A hasn't had a drink since his last binge (11 days) in January. He'd been on 2 other drunks during a year prior to that. But lately his behavior is often odd. One minute he's fine and the next he doesn't even recall what I said. He says o...	jaja	4	9307	Jun 20, 2007 by Friendofyours
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.