Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

smpoli · smpoli

Hello my fellow MIP's! I've missed you. My computer was not allowing me to use anything Java, so I had a long process of fixing it. Anyway, working for now. :) LOL I would like my MIP family to add my family with special intensions for my son to the prayer lists. Bryon will be going through yet anothe...

tropicalrozes · tropicalrozes

I did it: I went to a meeting this afternoon. It took all the courage I could muster to walk into the room, especially since this was my first time at this particular meeting. I was so relieved to be back, even though I was nervous the entire time. I didn't speak, but listening was enough. I did realize that...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have a sense of calm over the past two days I have not had for a year or more. I feel like I can detach from the madness and take it easy on myself. I no longer feel absolutely dripping with resentment and rage. When I'm confronted with people who are really reactive, manipulative and demanding I no longer...

anjie · anjie

My name is Anjie. I am a stay at home mama of 3. I am married, have been for 10 years, been together for 13 & a half. My husband is an alcoholic. And I have spent pretty much my whole life with alcoholics, my mom was an alcoholic, my dad is an alcoholic, my brother is a whole other story. I have even spe...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was planning to file for divorce before I moved then I learned that the vehicles that I have would have to be signed off by him in front of a notary (he's in prison) so I started thinking I really don't want to piss him off so maybe he will sign off in the future. Then I think, either way he will just hold it ov...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Da Da Da Da The smell of your skin lingers on me now Your probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself instead of calamity Peace, Serenity [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I W...

tropicalrozes · tropicalrozes

I am not quite sure what I am planning to say, so please forgive my ramblings and what are sure to be many grammatical errors. I want to return to Al-Anon. After about 10 meetings, I quit going. No matter the amazing relief I felt the first meeting as I finally felt like I could release some of my pent up emot...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, I started out ok then got a call from the realtor that my credit (mostly because of the truck the A lost GRRRRRRRRR) is not sufficient and they would need an additional month's rent for the condo. I asked him to please check my rental history and call those references and explained all the bad mark...

sportscraz2044 · sportscraz2044

Hi everyone. I am new to this sight and new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend is going through cocaine rehab and I don't know what to do to support him. I don't know what to expect. He is through withdraw here at the house and I don't know what to expect. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. Thanks sport...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi, Just wanted to say we went to counseling today, and discussed big-time my issues with trusting him, or should I say, complete lack of trust for him. My A said to the counselor how he is really working his 12 step program, and how he is doing well. He said he has changed so much, he can't understa...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I need some suggestions/guidance/advice in regards to a friend. She has been in recovery from addictions for years, but her husband is an active alcoholic. The major meltdown has been a long time coming, and now that she has decided the marriage just isn't going to work, and the kids are profoundly af...

braveheartlioncarebear · braveheartlioncarebear

When an A blames everyone else for their drinking, do they know that they're full of it? Or do they actually believe their excuses?

bobump · bobump

Unity day, September 15th in NJ is a day where members of Al-anon join together acrossed NJ at multiple meeting sites and have the same meeting, with the same topics, at the same time. I plan on being at the district 1 meeting barring a soccer game, LOL Unity Day Revisited Agenda 9:30am Registration 10:...

Lani · Lani

If anyone of my Al-Anon OP's can recitify this, I would appreciate it. I was in and then went back a little later and was found myself banned. I know you don't really mean it. Love, Lani

Leetle · Leetle

(((((((((((((nmike))))))))))))))) I don't know when you will be on again, but wanted to send you healing prayers that your shoulder surgery goes well. Hope the recovery isn't too uncomfortable and that you get all the care and support you need. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care. Y...

QOD · QOD

Ever since I found out about my AH's drug problem almost 2 years ago, I have waffled on what to do. Do I stay or do I go? I worked up my "Plan B" right from the start, which was divorce. And I steadily worked towards that goal. With each step I took towards that goal, I would get sick to my stomac...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Quite Worrying: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way? Put It On The List: Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the...

sonja ja · sonja ja

Hi Gailey: I'm so sorry about your AS but I'm glad I found someone who can relate to me and me to them. I love my ftf meetings, but mostly it's dealing with alcoholic spouses. See, my son is different. I KNOW he would drink and drive with his kids. He's an addict who can't wait for his next fix. A little histor...

albertarose · albertarose

Hello everyone! Hope your all doing fine. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary to my "A" hubby and I am feeling down. He has forgotten again for four years now. Every year he forgets I feel like crap. He is sober today, so I thought maybe this year he would remember seems as tho he's not drinkin...

lil_pieces · lil_pieces

I posted a few days ago about how well we were doing. I know any marriage normal or otherwise has ups and downs...well we hit a really big down tonight. Background info...I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been having complications with the pregnancy. So...stress there is in my life. yeah. But this last w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

hmm don't know how that happened. -- Edited by carolinagirl at 16:09, 2007-08-16

maresie2 · maresie2

one dog was delivered to me last night. She is so relieved I can see it in her. I had a friend help me move quite a bit of stuff last night. Now I face another big night of moving furniture (I really have very very little). The plan is to have the other dog arrive next week. I am hoping that he will not take her bac...

BrandyCane · BrandyCane

My A husband recently went on a 2 day drinking binge. Lucky for me he did it at home and didnt sleep for 2 days. He kept me up and wanted to argue about all the things I had done to him. I really did try and not engage him, but I guess we all have a boiling point. I threw his bourbon and coke on him. I enjoyed th...

Fifi · Fifi

So as you may know, my sober A addict BF moved out 6 weeks ago now.....his stuff was in the basement until 1 1/2 weeks ago.....I have asked him not to call and he is "gone" . It is so good to have peace in my home and in my soul again....peace for my kids....we are so much better off. But in this abs...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I took off early yesterday and went out to look at a few prospects in the area I want to move and I found a really great condo for a great price about 1 minute from the beach! I am very excited about it and the realtor even said that he might be able to get me in before school starts. I will hear today! Everyo...

nycbt · nycbt

Girlfriend. THere the ones that you tell every thing too. I have know lots of different type of girlfriends. I know have the girlfriends I have here online who I love to death that know my every sercet. There are the girlfriends at work who you know and trust alot of them. There are also there are girlfrie...

mentallyill · mentallyill

Has anyone here been admitted to inpatient rehab, or a loved one for dual diagnosis? How effective is inpatient rehabilitation? My fiance is court-mandated to go to his alcohol/drug program. He has been non-compliant recently, and he even missed a blood test. His counselor is going to write up a b...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We used to run people down all the time. We realize now that it was because we wanted unconsciously to build ourselves up. We were envious of people who lived normal lives. We couldn't understand why we couldn't be like them. And so we ran them down. We were always looking for faults in the other person. W...

sonja ja · sonja ja

Hello Everyone. My name is sonja and I'm new to this site. Not to Al-Anon though. I've been a grateful member for a couple of years now and sometimes I think my progress is just soooo slow. My qualifier is my son. He's 34 years old and has lost everything time and again. I was the worst enabler in the world un...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Well, just like many others who come to Alanon... I came here to save my life, and if possible, save my marriage. I guess one out of 2 ain't bad. ;) For those who don't know the story, we seperated almost a year ago when I decided that I could no longer live with the active drinking. ...

tea2 · tea2

Only wanted to wish a member of the family here a very Happy Birthday! Today is Canadianguy aka Toms Birthday I am hoping its a wonderful one for you Tom from someone who is very grateful for all the experience, strength and hope you share! Tracey

Katy · Katy

It's been a whole host of things really, but for the most part it's been a million times better than living with active alcholism in the home. I have been struggling though of late and didn't know how, or if I could write and say I am struggling here, because I don't want to come across as ungreatful when th...

maresie2 · maresie2

Now the whole issue of when and if I get my dog is up in the air again. I am upset needless to say. I had it all in the works. Meantime I am keeping on keeping on. I packed boxes. I make plans to move. I keep at it. I have plans to have that all organized by the weekend. Then I will have all my time to focus on when and h...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons. --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom. For every loss, we've gained something new. We are learning that our pain makes us wise over time, but wh...

mon123 · mon123

Hi all I'm not always here as much as I'd like to be. I have recieved a bulk e mail from JohnF asking if I want to remain. I for one find this site absolutely in valuable. I may not come here often but I enjoy recieving e mails from you. It reminds me you are here supporting me. Alanon has become a big part of my li...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so my husband I chatted this morning when he called me from work. He says he knows he has a problem but just not sure how to take care of the problem. He don't want AA or Rehab. He wants to try on his own. Now for 9 years he has tried to quit on his own. It never works!! He's got every excuse as possible (as A's do...

TheArtOf · TheArtOf

Wow! I have been dealing with an A for 10 years. She has totally destoyed herself with this family. At first I didn't know what to do. It started out as probably how alot of A's start out. Then boom, before I knew it, total insanity. She is no longer with me, we are divorced; but oh the damage. I never...

Jen · Jen

Can one ever trust an A? No matter how much recovery they have, they can still slip. I get that. Something can always send them over the edge. But is it reasonable to expect that at some point everything won't? Can an A ever get to a point that they can be trusted to handle most of life's ups and downs without...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had a really strange day today. I got a call from the apartment we were supposed to move into and suddenly I don't qualify and I either have to pay more (which I won't do) or go somewhere else. So I scramble, calling around find a few good prospects and then... I get a call earlier this evening from the re...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have three days till I get my big black baby lab mix. I have barely scratched the surface of my packing. I aske done of my neighbors to help me and said I would pay him. I can't nail him down on when and how. I don't have the money to do anything till tomorrow. So it will all be a great rush for the next few days an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

First I had a message on my machine. I didn't get the job in Indy. The liason was willing to talk about it. She said, "We didn't feel it was a good fit." I didn't feel like a complete douche bag. I felt sad. But I reminded myself of something Dr Welker, chair of education dept, Witt U said to us: &...

ally · ally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwoVZS_Blsw&mode=relat...

ddub · ddub

On one hand I was glad to get the I'm sorry and I will start today. It'll take a little time to ease off safely, he says and I say, you will need some medicine or medical assistance now. He just nods....... very proud, private, non responsive and functioning A. BUT then I wonder..... start what? Cutting...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

The final papers have been sent in to the attorney this morning (faxed) so the ball is rolling. Anyone divorce an alcoholic who thinks he's done nothing wrong? What should I expect? Any advice about the kids? I'm going to not get them involved in adult problems. I am going to ask for supervised visitati...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

What are your feelings on someone who stays with an alcoholic even though they have no ties? Do you think the sickness has taken them and they just don't see what they are doing? How long do you try to help these people? How would you nicely tell them what they are doing? You can post it here or pm me with advi...

nycbt · nycbt

I have now been in the room more and found the spirt back that I have lost. I have alot of thing to tell you. So here it goes. The first the is likie I told you that I have been feeling good that I have been spening alot time in the MIP room and helping people like I just too. I haven't been to a face to face I am not re...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so For those who have not read my 1st post...I have a alcoholic husband. I also have two small children. An 8 and 6 year old. My husband has never til yesterday drank and drove with my daughter in the car. He says he only had a couple BUT I DON"T CARE . That is unacceptable. I have decided not to allo...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I hear about alcohol logic though I don't quite understand it. I don't see how you can say you love your kids and then emotionally hurt them. How can you be so mad at your wife over something you construed in your own head to not see your children?? How can you call your wife every name in the book after she ha...

maresie2 · maresie2

So now I am going through the same saga as Kim went through the other day. Oh how I didn't tell the people he is living with he had a felony hit and run. Em how am I supposed to tell them something I don't know. How I am responsible for everything. Well he's 48 is he a child. For once I put it back right on him. ...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have decided to give up on the school goals that I had for myself. I was taking prerequisites to apply to a pa program which would require me to take full time online classes in addition to working and then if accepted quit working for two years to go to school and live on loans. I just found out that the s...

azbax · azbax

I used to come to this message board alot....but haven't been here in quite awhile. A little history...my A is recovering 18 years now and he, for once, isn't my "issue". He actually has been quite an asset to this challenge I've come upon. I have a new job. I've been there for about 5 week...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello everyone, Even though my ex-A and I are no longer together, and have not been a couple for some time, I realize I still have to deal with the wreckage of my past. I also realize I must deal with what is right in front of me as well. Someone I knew a long time ago told me in her own words, "Everytime I...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Thank you all for the wonderful words of compassion and love I have felt thru my post reguarding the death of my husband.. Things are very tough to deal with right now....time heals....I am just taking it slow trying to heal and heal as a family as well.... So many what ifs, however I know...

lilac1 · lilac1

Hi everybody firstly i would like to thank all for the prayers that have been said for my brother who is stable and making progress thank god!!!!!!!! secondly i would like to ask what is a senior member of alanon - is it a person who is of a certain age group ie over 65 like a pensioner - or is it a person who is h...

serendipity · serendipity

He was here for the kids for 2 days, called for 2 days and then nothing. He told me Sat. that they can call him. They are children 12,8 and 4 who have and are suffering a huge loss. This is a crisis. He is their father. HE LIVES 2 BLOCKS AWAY AND WORKS 2 BLOCKS AWAY. Why the hell should it be their responsibilit...

maresie2 · maresie2

those of you who know my long saga with the A know that a huge component of it is his reckless driving. Some of that I belive to be under the influence. In May just after I left him and he was esconsced with a homeless couple he did drugs day and night with he had an accident (nothing new there). He left the sc...

mhgal · mhgal

Hi all, First time I've started a topic, so here goes: The A exbf (now friend), who lived with me until a month ago, moved back to the house we used to live in together, about 3 minutes down the road from me. Problem is, between the alcoholism and the as-yet undiagnosed mental illness (feel strongly that...

ddub · ddub

I just replied to gardengal's post (two below this) re: taking care of yourself first and I thought taking care of others was how I showed I loved them. AND how others loved me..... I agree with gardengal now and am learning how to care for myself in baby steps but then what really is love? My best gue...

roger12dodger · roger12dodger

Yes, she did TRY to go stripping.... it only yeilded her 4 dollars, and a lifetime of humiliation. I went to check on her at her house, and she told me that she was getting sober (yet again) and going to try once more. I want to believe her soo badly, and i want to take her to meetings every day, and i want to ca...

maresie2 · maresie2

For years I swallowed the its all your fault stuff from the A. I swallowed it and swallowed it and swallowed it. He blamed me for everything. Today he says that is the reason he doesn't have any money. Its all me. Its not that he didn't pay the rent, its my fault. Its not that he had every drug addict in town st...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Prayers for continued remission (Preview) Hello my fellow MIP's! I've missed you. My computer was not allowing me to use anything Java, so I had a long process of fixing it. Anyway, working for now. :) LOL I would like my MIP family to add my family with special intensions for my son to the prayer lists. Bryon will be going through yet anothe...	smpoli	6	420	Aug 18, 2007 by mel123
	The courage to walk through the doors... (Preview) I did it: I went to a meeting this afternoon. It took all the courage I could muster to walk into the room, especially since this was my first time at this particular meeting. I was so relieved to be back, even though I was nervous the entire time. I didn't speak, but listening was enough. I did realize that...	tropicalrozes	4	402	Aug 18, 2007 by anjie
	A sense of calm has come over me (Preview) I have a sense of calm over the past two days I have not had for a year or more. I feel like I can detach from the madness and take it easy on myself. I no longer feel absolutely dripping with resentment and rage. When I'm confronted with people who are really reactive, manipulative and demanding I no longer...	maresie2	4	554	Aug 17, 2007 by Andrea12
	I'm new, obviously.... (Preview) My name is Anjie. I am a stay at home mama of 3. I am married, have been for 10 years, been together for 13 & a half. My husband is an alcoholic. And I have spent pretty much my whole life with alcoholics, my mom was an alcoholic, my dad is an alcoholic, my brother is a whole other story. I have even spe...	anjie	9	648	Aug 17, 2007 by anjie
	Sometimes it's hard to figure out what to do - suggestions? (Preview) I was planning to file for divorce before I moved then I learned that the vehicles that I have would have to be signed off by him in front of a notary (he's in prison) so I started thinking I really don't want to piss him off so maybe he will sign off in the future. Then I think, either way he will just hold it ov...	carolinagirl	6	612	Aug 17, 2007 by Fifi
	Good song that I feel applies to me (Preview) Da Da Da Da The smell of your skin lingers on me now Your probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself instead of calamity Peace, Serenity [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I W...	carolinagirl	3	466	Aug 17, 2007 by sgraingermk
	Return (Preview) I am not quite sure what I am planning to say, so please forgive my ramblings and what are sure to be many grammatical errors. I want to return to Al-Anon. After about 10 meetings, I quit going. No matter the amazing relief I felt the first meeting as I finally felt like I could release some of my pent up emot...	tropicalrozes	6	547	Aug 17, 2007 by mhgal
	And the verdict is....... (Preview) Well, I started out ok then got a call from the realtor that my credit (mostly because of the truck the A lost GRRRRRRRRR) is not sufficient and they would need an additional month's rent for the condo. I asked him to please check my rental history and call those references and explained all the bad mark...	carolinagirl	6	446	Aug 17, 2007 by QOD
	New to this sight and to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this sight and new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend is going through cocaine rehab and I don't know what to do to support him. I don't know what to expect. He is through withdraw here at the house and I don't know what to expect. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. Thanks sport...	sportscraz2044	6	463	Aug 17, 2007 by aunitedway
	A and I had counseling today... (Preview) Hi, Just wanted to say we went to counseling today, and discussed big-time my issues with trusting him, or should I say, complete lack of trust for him. My A said to the counselor how he is really working his 12 step program, and how he is doing well. He said he has changed so much, he can't understa...	lmt123	10	490	Aug 17, 2007 by lmt123
	Need some help for a friend (Preview) I need some suggestions/guidance/advice in regards to a friend. She has been in recovery from addictions for years, but her husband is an active alcoholic. The major meltdown has been a long time coming, and now that she has decided the marriage just isn't going to work, and the kids are profoundly af...	Tenderheartsks	8	569	Aug 17, 2007 by Diva
	The blame game, are they conscious of it? (Preview) When an A blames everyone else for their drinking, do they know that they're full of it? Or do they actually believe their excuses?	braveheartlioncarebear	11	691	Aug 17, 2007 by braveheartlioncarebear
	since a few are from NJ, Al-anon Unity day in NJ (Preview) Unity day, September 15th in NJ is a day where members of Al-anon join together acrossed NJ at multiple meeting sites and have the same meeting, with the same topics, at the same time. I plan on being at the district 1 meeting barring a soccer game, LOL Unity Day Revisited Agenda 9:30am Registration 10:...	bobump	0	539	Aug 17, 2007 by bobump
	LANI HAS BEEN BANNED:)) (Preview) If anyone of my Al-Anon OP's can recitify this, I would appreciate it. I was in and then went back a little later and was found myself banned. I know you don't really mean it. Love, Lani	Lani	2	471	Aug 16, 2007 by Maria123
	Sending healing prayers (Preview) (((((((((((((nmike))))))))))))))) I don't know when you will be on again, but wanted to send you healing prayers that your shoulder surgery goes well. Hope the recovery isn't too uncomfortable and that you get all the care and support you need. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care. Y...	Leetle	3	328	Aug 16, 2007 by Maria123
	My waffling has stopped (Preview) Ever since I found out about my AH's drug problem almost 2 years ago, I have waffled on what to do. Do I stay or do I go? I worked up my "Plan B" right from the start, which was divorce. And I steadily worked towards that goal. With each step I took towards that goal, I would get sick to my stomac...	QOD	7	469	Aug 16, 2007 by twinkie
	Ten Guidelines From God (Preview) Quite Worrying: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way? Put It On The List: Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the...	Peggy7	2	396	Aug 16, 2007 by weggie
	To Gailey (Preview) Hi Gailey: I'm so sorry about your AS but I'm glad I found someone who can relate to me and me to them. I love my ftf meetings, but mostly it's dealing with alcoholic spouses. See, my son is different. I KNOW he would drink and drive with his kids. He's an addict who can't wait for his next fix. A little histor...	sonja ja	0	339	Aug 16, 2007 by sonja ja
	Feeling Down (Preview) Hello everyone! Hope your all doing fine. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary to my "A" hubby and I am feeling down. He has forgotten again for four years now. Every year he forgets I feel like crap. He is sober today, so I thought maybe this year he would remember seems as tho he's not drinkin...	albertarose	5	467	Aug 16, 2007 by lin0606
	Oh it isn't fun to fight (Preview) I posted a few days ago about how well we were doing. I know any marriage normal or otherwise has ups and downs...well we hit a really big down tonight. Background info...I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been having complications with the pregnancy. So...stress there is in my life. yeah. But this last w...	lil_pieces	5	537	Aug 16, 2007 by lil_pieces
	And the verdict is....... (Preview) hmm don't know how that happened. -- Edited by carolinagirl at 16:09, 2007-08-16	carolinagirl	0	266	Aug 16, 2007 by carolinagirl
	One dog down one more to go. (Preview) one dog was delivered to me last night. She is so relieved I can see it in her. I had a friend help me move quite a bit of stuff last night. Now I face another big night of moving furniture (I really have very very little). The plan is to have the other dog arrive next week. I am hoping that he will not take her bac...	maresie2	4	379	Aug 16, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Fearful (Preview) My A husband recently went on a 2 day drinking binge. Lucky for me he did it at home and didnt sleep for 2 days. He kept me up and wanted to argue about all the things I had done to him. I really did try and not engage him, but I guess we all have a boiling point. I threw his bourbon and coke on him. I enjoyed th...	BrandyCane	8	410	Aug 16, 2007 by QOD
	Depressed (Preview) So as you may know, my sober A addict BF moved out 6 weeks ago now.....his stuff was in the basement until 1 1/2 weeks ago.....I have asked him not to call and he is "gone" . It is so good to have peace in my home and in my soul again....peace for my kids....we are so much better off. But in this abs...	Fifi	6	353	Aug 16, 2007 by maresie2
	Good News! (Preview) I took off early yesterday and went out to look at a few prospects in the area I want to move and I found a really great condo for a great price about 1 minute from the beach! I am very excited about it and the realtor even said that he might be able to get me in before school starts. I will hear today! Everyo...	carolinagirl	10	481	Aug 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	GIRLFRIENDS (Preview) Girlfriend. THere the ones that you tell every thing too. I have know lots of different type of girlfriends. I know have the girlfriends I have here online who I love to death that know my every sercet. There are the girlfriends at work who you know and trust alot of them. There are also there are girlfrie...	nycbt	1	397	Aug 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Loved one is BiPolar and an Alcoholic (Preview) Has anyone here been admitted to inpatient rehab, or a loved one for dual diagnosis? How effective is inpatient rehabilitation? My fiance is court-mandated to go to his alcohol/drug program. He has been non-compliant recently, and he even missed a blood test. His counselor is going to write up a b...	mentallyill	5	692	Aug 16, 2007 by QOD
	self esteem/self worth (Preview) We used to run people down all the time. We realize now that it was because we wanted unconsciously to build ourselves up. We were envious of people who lived normal lives. We couldn't understand why we couldn't be like them. And so we ran them down. We were always looking for faults in the other person. W...	Tiger2006	3	340	Aug 16, 2007 by maire rua
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello Everyone. My name is sonja and I'm new to this site. Not to Al-Anon though. I've been a grateful member for a couple of years now and sometimes I think my progress is just soooo slow. My qualifier is my son. He's 34 years old and has lost everything time and again. I was the worst enabler in the world un...	sonja ja	6	503	Aug 16, 2007 by carosie
	Life just never stops changing (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Well, just like many others who come to Alanon... I came here to save my life, and if possible, save my marriage. I guess one out of 2 ain't bad. ;) For those who don't know the story, we seperated almost a year ago when I decided that I could no longer live with the active drinking. ...	rtexas	16	648	Aug 16, 2007 by kismetstrand
	Birthday Wishes (Preview) Only wanted to wish a member of the family here a very Happy Birthday! Today is Canadianguy aka Toms Birthday I am hoping its a wonderful one for you Tom from someone who is very grateful for all the experience, strength and hope you share! Tracey	tea2	16	489	Aug 15, 2007 by aunitedway
	Sobriety, the first year! (Preview) It's been a whole host of things really, but for the most part it's been a million times better than living with active alcholism in the home. I have been struggling though of late and didn't know how, or if I could write and say I am struggling here, because I don't want to come across as ungreatful when th...	Katy	3	564	Aug 15, 2007 by lin0606
	Scuttlebutted (Preview) Now the whole issue of when and if I get my dog is up in the air again. I am upset needless to say. I had it all in the works. Meantime I am keeping on keeping on. I packed boxes. I make plans to move. I keep at it. I have plans to have that all organized by the weekend. Then I will have all my time to focus on when and h...	maresie2	4	414	Aug 15, 2007 by maresie2
	keep coming back... (Preview) Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons. --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom. For every loss, we've gained something new. We are learning that our pain makes us wise over time, but wh...	Tiger2006	1	437	Aug 15, 2007 by florrie
	Not always here (Preview) Hi all I'm not always here as much as I'd like to be. I have recieved a bulk e mail from JohnF asking if I want to remain. I for one find this site absolutely in valuable. I may not come here often but I enjoy recieving e mails from you. It reminds me you are here supporting me. Alanon has become a big part of my li...	mon123	4	391	Aug 15, 2007 by mon123
	so frusterated (Preview) Ok so my husband I chatted this morning when he called me from work. He says he knows he has a problem but just not sure how to take care of the problem. He don't want AA or Rehab. He wants to try on his own. Now for 9 years he has tried to quit on his own. It never works!! He's got every excuse as possible (as A's do...	sgraingermk	7	539	Aug 15, 2007 by maresie2
	I'm so glad I found this place (Preview) Wow! I have been dealing with an A for 10 years. She has totally destoyed herself with this family. At first I didn't know what to do. It started out as probably how alot of A's start out. Then boom, before I knew it, total insanity. She is no longer with me, we are divorced; but oh the damage. I never...	TheArtOf	5	388	Aug 15, 2007 by maresie2
	OK. Here's the big question, for me. (Preview) Can one ever trust an A? No matter how much recovery they have, they can still slip. I get that. Something can always send them over the edge. But is it reasonable to expect that at some point everything won't? Can an A ever get to a point that they can be trusted to handle most of life's ups and downs without...	Jen	15	1108	Aug 15, 2007 by Jen
	A strange day! (Preview) I had a really strange day today. I got a call from the apartment we were supposed to move into and suddenly I don't qualify and I either have to pay more (which I won't do) or go somewhere else. So I scramble, calling around find a few good prospects and then... I get a call earlier this evening from the re...	carolinagirl	4	472	Aug 15, 2007 by maresie2
	3 days till I get my big black baby (Preview) I have three days till I get my big black baby lab mix. I have barely scratched the surface of my packing. I aske done of my neighbors to help me and said I would pay him. I can't nail him down on when and how. I don't have the money to do anything till tomorrow. So it will all be a great rush for the next few days an...	maresie2	3	428	Aug 15, 2007 by Kim65
	Just had a really rotten day and need some help (Preview) First I had a message on my machine. I didn't get the job in Indy. The liason was willing to talk about it. She said, "We didn't feel it was a good fit." I didn't feel like a complete douche bag. I felt sad. But I reminded myself of something Dr Welker, chair of education dept, Witt U said to us: &...	Tiger2006	5	470	Aug 15, 2007 by Tiger2006
	VIDEO....DO WE KNOW OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN OURSELVES (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwoVZS_Blsw&mode=relat...	ally	3	402	Aug 15, 2007 by Barbs45
	what to tell the children? (Preview) On one hand I was glad to get the I'm sorry and I will start today. It'll take a little time to ease off safely, he says and I say, you will need some medicine or medical assistance now. He just nods....... very proud, private, non responsive and functioning A. BUT then I wonder..... start what? Cutting...	ddub	6	557	Aug 14, 2007 by ddub
	What do I expect in the divorce? (Preview) The final papers have been sent in to the attorney this morning (faxed) so the ball is rolling. Anyone divorce an alcoholic who thinks he's done nothing wrong? What should I expect? Any advice about the kids? I'm going to not get them involved in adult problems. I am going to ask for supervised visitati...	Friendofyours	11	780	Aug 14, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Looking in from the outside. (Preview) What are your feelings on someone who stays with an alcoholic even though they have no ties? Do you think the sickness has taken them and they just don't see what they are doing? How long do you try to help these people? How would you nicely tell them what they are doing? You can post it here or pm me with advi...	Friendofyours	12	549	Aug 14, 2007 by ET
	Coming back (Preview) I have now been in the room more and found the spirt back that I have lost. I have alot of thing to tell you. So here it goes. The first the is likie I told you that I have been feeling good that I have been spening alot time in the MIP room and helping people like I just too. I haven't been to a face to face I am not re...	nycbt	5	574	Aug 14, 2007 by Maria123
	so many questions....Here's another (Preview) Ok so For those who have not read my 1st post...I have a alcoholic husband. I also have two small children. An 8 and 6 year old. My husband has never til yesterday drank and drove with my daughter in the car. He says he only had a couple BUT I DON"T CARE . That is unacceptable. I have decided not to allo...	sgraingermk	6	521	Aug 14, 2007 by Aspen
	He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right. (Preview) I hear about alcohol logic though I don't quite understand it. I don't see how you can say you love your kids and then emotionally hurt them. How can you be so mad at your wife over something you construed in your own head to not see your children?? How can you call your wife every name in the book after she ha...	Friendofyours	11	529	Aug 14, 2007 by ET
	Dejavu (Preview) So now I am going through the same saga as Kim went through the other day. Oh how I didn't tell the people he is living with he had a felony hit and run. Em how am I supposed to tell them something I don't know. How I am responsible for everything. Well he's 48 is he a child. For once I put it back right on him. ...	maresie2	3	282	Aug 14, 2007 by Kim65
	Giving Up (Preview) I have decided to give up on the school goals that I had for myself. I was taking prerequisites to apply to a pa program which would require me to take full time online classes in addition to working and then if accepted quit working for two years to go to school and live on loans. I just found out that the s...	carolinagirl	8	551	Aug 14, 2007 by Friendofyours
	New here..not new to all this. (Preview) I used to come to this message board alot....but haven't been here in quite awhile. A little history...my A is recovering 18 years now and he, for once, isn't my "issue". He actually has been quite an asset to this challenge I've come upon. I have a new job. I've been there for about 5 week...	azbax	2	379	Aug 14, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Been away....thought I'd come in and talk about it.... (Preview) Hello everyone, Even though my ex-A and I are no longer together, and have not been a couple for some time, I realize I still have to deal with the wreckage of my past. I also realize I must deal with what is right in front of me as well. Someone I knew a long time ago told me in her own words, "Everytime I...	hippietrippiechick	3	262	Aug 14, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	Thanks for the caring and concern (Preview) Hello Friends, Thank you all for the wonderful words of compassion and love I have felt thru my post reguarding the death of my husband.. Things are very tough to deal with right now....time heals....I am just taking it slow trying to heal and heal as a family as well.... So many what ifs, however I know...	Andrea12	4	451	Aug 14, 2007 by Andrea12
	Interesting stuff (Preview) Hi everybody firstly i would like to thank all for the prayers that have been said for my brother who is stable and making progress thank god!!!!!!!! secondly i would like to ask what is a senior member of alanon - is it a person who is of a certain age group ie over 65 like a pensioner - or is it a person who is h...	lilac1	2	278	Aug 14, 2007 by Leetle
	Back to the A (vent, long) (Preview) He was here for the kids for 2 days, called for 2 days and then nothing. He told me Sat. that they can call him. They are children 12,8 and 4 who have and are suffering a huge loss. This is a crisis. He is their father. HE LIVES 2 BLOCKS AWAY AND WORKS 2 BLOCKS AWAY. Why the hell should it be their responsibilit...	serendipity	4	519	Aug 14, 2007 by Kim65
	going to jail this time (Preview) those of you who know my long saga with the A know that a huge component of it is his reckless driving. Some of that I belive to be under the influence. In May just after I left him and he was esconsced with a homeless couple he did drugs day and night with he had an accident (nothing new there). He left the sc...	maresie2	8	558	Aug 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Need encouragement...and need to unload.. (Preview) Hi all, First time I've started a topic, so here goes: The A exbf (now friend), who lived with me until a month ago, moved back to the house we used to live in together, about 3 minutes down the road from me. Problem is, between the alcoholism and the as-yet undiagnosed mental illness (feel strongly that...	mhgal	6	498	Aug 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	so what is love? (Preview) I just replied to gardengal's post (two below this) re: taking care of yourself first and I thought taking care of others was how I showed I loved them. AND how others loved me..... I agree with gardengal now and am learning how to care for myself in baby steps but then what really is love? My best gue...	ddub	4	669	Aug 14, 2007 by mom1973
	Do i enjoy pain? ** Update (Preview) Yes, she did TRY to go stripping.... it only yeilded her 4 dollars, and a lifetime of humiliation. I went to check on her at her house, and she told me that she was getting sober (yet again) and going to try once more. I want to believe her soo badly, and i want to take her to meetings every day, and i want to ca...	roger12dodger	1	412	Aug 14, 2007 by Jerry F
	Its all your fault! (Preview) For years I swallowed the its all your fault stuff from the A. I swallowed it and swallowed it and swallowed it. He blamed me for everything. Today he says that is the reason he doesn't have any money. Its all me. Its not that he didn't pay the rent, its my fault. Its not that he had every drug addict in town st...	maresie2	8	559	Aug 13, 2007 by firefly63
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.