The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Now the whole issue of when and if I get my dog is up in the air again. I am upset needless to say. I had it all in the works. Meantime I am keeping on keeping on. I packed boxes. I make plans to move. I keep at it. I have plans to have that all organized by the weekend. Then I will have all my time to focus on when and how to get the dog.
Now its back to the A when and if he will give me the dog. Typical stuff. I have dealt with this for years. The only good thing I know is that he will probably come if only to try to wheedle money out of me. He has none I know that much.
I'll just have to pray and turn it over.
I also would so like to think I could at least get the truck. In some ways I'd like to think that I could get it when and if the A goes to jail. Who knows. I may and may not. Whatever I get won't have a happy ending he's damaged everytihng so so so so much.
I hate it when that happens. It is my experience whenever my parents think or know they have something that I want, they realize they have power over me. See yest. post. I think what I've finally had to do is get creative about a few things. Like when I finally just paid the darn bill, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe in the mean time, you can make a special space for your baby, and set up a specific space so that when your baby does come, it's all ready. Plan for the big day.
Tiger, you're so right on. Mary just plan and pack as if you are getting the dog on schedule. There's always a wrinkle or something that might trip you up, it's just the way life is. It's a perfect time to "act as if". Things are always up in the air until they happen. You're doing great, keep the faith!
Reminds me of how my A always tried to use anything in his power against me to get me to do what he wants. Like the signing off on the house sale and every other issue that arises. It's always lets make a deal. Don't be surprised if he makes you pay for the dog! Just don't forget it if he does.
Well now the A insists he is showing up some time god knows when tonight with the dog. I am moving and am in no position to put anyone off. So I have insisted he call and let me know. He tends to get very very jealous if he sees anyone is helping me. I am also not really that ok with the dog coming tonight because I would have to leave her alone all day and that's hard on her. But at the same time I'll take the dog!!!!
The A also announced he had broken my mountain bike. He cut a tree on it. Funny how he always manages to break my stuff.
I don't really want to let the a know where I am moving to at the same time I don't want to have it be a state secret either. I feel incredibly burdened by any interaction with him. The only good thing is that (a) a friend is helping me move today and tomorrow and that will be the bulk of it and (b) I got paid.
