Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

Yesterday, I did go to the ex's work. I did attempt to show his GF (fiancee I just found out, he bought her a beautiful diamond) the text messages he's been sending me for a couple months. He smashed my cell, and got very physically violent and threw me out the door. I went straight to the police station a...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Well about less than 2weeks ago i thought i had this detachment thing FINALLY figured out. After 13 years of dealing with AH, i thought "wow i'm finally taking care of myself. and to the extent I still am. But it's so hard. I was started to see a change in him as well. But of course that was too good to be...

ddub · ddub

Not feelin' real great so gonna just write what I feel good about and why not .... so I can try and find some light at the end of the tunnel - like a very bad roller coaster ride in a very long dark tunnel - couple sky lights now and then but false hope of more consistant progress bites. gratitude and way to go t...

MISC · MISC

O.K. here is my very first post as a newbie..........and my question is.........do you think it's ok for us (as the parents )of a 22 year old A son who is living with us to demand he attend AA meetings ? He's in denial, but has had problems for the past 6 plus years.............mips, jail, treatment pr...

Toni · Toni

I think it's been a couple weeks since I joined and I have been sort of quiet since. I think I'm just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of having my daughter living somewhere else without feeling guilty because I feel that way and without trying to project too much into the future. Her situation is not pe...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was going to quit smoking today (AGAIN!!!). I was sure I was going to do it. Half way to work I stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and I was soooo disappointed in myself. Then I thought this must be what they feel like times ten. Cigarettes may be killing me but at least they don't cost me EVERYTHI...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have not seen you post in a long long time. I hope all is ok with you. I wrote my creditors today and thought of you and your struggle. I am going to work on it one day at a time. Please post soon and let us all know how you are. maresie.

lmt123 · lmt123

I just got back from having the echocardiogram. The tech said he didn't see anything (could he tell me if he did?), but he had to send the results to the cardiologist and I'd hear from them on Monday. Hopefully he/she won't see anything and hopefully they can explain why the size of my heart has changed...

maresie2 · maresie2

I saw the A yesterday and decided to keep the beagle for another week. I managed to get it out of him that he is going to court on Monday. He looks absolutely terrible, worse than I have ever seen him. He is not making any sense about what he is going to do. I imagine he presumes he will go to jail although he do...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I finally got thru to the "special police" who arrested the A back in November the night before I was leaving on my trip to DC with the kids. Anywho, I am going tomorrow to get a copy of the police report to try to clear my name with the insurance company. I learned that this place is a private...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

it occurred to me this morning that I keep fighting a losing battle. I keep waiting for the day when everything and everybody is easily handled. The last 3 weeks have been crazy. Filled with loss. The first situation is one of change. I can still have this person in my life just not in the capacity I am used...

torias · torias

My spouse has been sober for three years now. I am so happy for him. The problem I am having is that I do not want to be married any longer. I am surprised by that because I fought so long for saving our marriage and put up with so much. Now, he has been sober but I do not have any feelings for him as a sp...

TheArtOf · TheArtOf

I have been reading some literature concerning the diagnosis of alcoholism. One book in particular identifies it as a physiological disease. My question is how do you know when someone is an alcoholic? One could say after the first DUI, or the second or the third... Or how about finding stashed bo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I went to switch insurance companies today and found out that back in Nov. when the A got the dui and the truck was impounded and damaged that the claim I called in was filed under MY driving record as an accident that was MY fault. Considering that I was not anywhere near the vehicle I am extremely fr...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, ex-A got out of hospital yesterday with Ulceritis Colitis, drink has nothing to do with that right! he went out last night and drank moderately. He is convinced that it is worse than cancer and was a real pain in the butt last night. I knew this would be the case so I detached very quickly. He kept gi...

Becky1 · Becky1

The surgery for my "trigger Thumb" went OK, only a 1" incision, and 2 stitches, but the scar tissue is pretty big and the stitches painful. I have exercises I have to do to keep my thumb limber, will be off work total of 14 days, today is 1 week since the surgery. AH has been pretty nice. I a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have been talking to one of my recovery partners at length about a topic that we both seem to have compulsive behaviors behind. I believe now that my long extended relationship with the A was a core symptom of hiding from life. I had to make his life more important than mine in order to hide from all my ne...

kissers · kissers

Hi Everyone, I was invited by another Alanon member to attend a lecture on Alcoholism. The topic of trust was discussed and how important trust is in a relationship. A guy I started dating told me twice he would call me the next day and didn't. I went from feeling angry to feeling betrayed to feeling very...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...

Rita G · Rita G

Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

For as long as I can remember I have been dealing with a sibling (58 yo) that is addicted to prescription pain medications. Earlier this year she went to detox, came home started attending meetings and seemed to be doing great. In June her husband was hit with 120 days shock time. Feeling I was doin...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi everyone, I had a dr appointment today because I was having a little chest "discomfort", not sure if it was heartburn or indigestion, as I have never had that before. I hesitated calling the doctor, but did anyway, just in case. They said to come on in to have him check me out, and since I h...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi ddub, The author of Angel Thoughts is Alice CanlasAvancena-so glad you enjoyed it. It's all about us all working the Twelfth step-giving back what we received by sharing life's lessons and wisdom-filled literature here on MIP. SERENITY AND GENTLENESS, NANUKE

lmw · lmw

Nine years ago today I married my AH. The divorce should be final in about a month..... so instead of thinking about all the bad things - or putting on rose colored glasses and looking back at the beginning, I decided to tell the kids we'd celebrate our family here today. I think I read in a post here tha...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Accepting Love Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate. To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of...

John · John

Dear Family, I am sorry that we have not been in the rooms for the past 2 weeks. We have had a death in the family, Johns sister. We will be able to provide more information when we get home. We have been in Virginia taking care of family in the time of crisis. We will still be out of town for a few more da...

frazzled · frazzled

you might read this and get grossed out or think what does this have to do with alcohol. it all ties together and some of it doesnt its just about me and my beginning of my journey to get to the root of my problems so i can deal with them and find the real me.there are so many freakin things running through this...

serendipity · serendipity

I was reading Carolina girl's post on the A and their overblown sense of entitlement. I completley agree and I used to even admire my A's courage to think that way. My thought has always been the exact oppisite. I don't feel I deserve anything, even when I work hard for it. But my question is, when does th...

serendipity · serendipity

It would be a really bad idea to "blackmail" my ex into paying for my little one's nursery school, right? I have asked twice very nicely and he has not responded except to want sex from me. I should NOT threathen to tell his GF and her mother all that he has done with me while living with her. That...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking the other day about how wonderful new love is when you first find that love and there's that energy and nothing but loving words. I remember at our wedding ceremony the guy saying the paper isn't what is important it's the words that you say to eachother. Always use loving words, etc. I...

Fifi · Fifi

I have been missing you all here lately but have been too tired to write or read much.....kids back to school,me with various medical tests (all ok and no more cancer so far), one daughter broke her arm, fell off a wall and scraped her face bad, lost a tooth and turned 7 all this week(all on different days n...

renah · renah

All, Only 2.5 more weeks till my delivery date. I have to admit that fears come up regularly about whether or not I need to get to the hospital. I chose to not be near family and it seems like I get reminded by my family of that a lot. But of course its my own guilt about it rather than their issue. The AH wi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --William James Many of us learned as children that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won't work out, that fear - like a shadow - is al...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A I was with for the last 7 years has a major physical illness as well as his own emotional illness and his addiction. This weekend I saw him. As I am preparing that he will probably go to jail and don't want there to be any last minute crisis for me I offered to let him have some space in my storage space. I h...

serendipity · serendipity

Well, first let me say I look GREAT! I look like an adult, going to court. Nevermind that I have duct tape in my shoes and my skirt is 10 years old, I look fabulous! I got there early and sat and read my book, centered myself. My idiot lawyer shows up and quickly goes over things. My ex shows up and hides in the...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Boohoo. Boohoo. I am tired of hearing AH crying about how sick he feels because they are cutting him back on his methadone. After all the money he has taken away from our family to feed his addictions over the years. After all of the money he has already spent over the past 7 months at the methadone clin...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I just wanted you all to know that I am doing better today. More positive about the issues going on in my life. For anyone struggling, the best thing to do is take life one day, one hour, one minute at a time. This is short but sweet. Thanks to God for sending his angels to help me. Amen I will write more later....

getoverit · getoverit

Hello my precious friends, For whatever reason, the fates have kept me from logging in, however, I am able to log in here.. just no chat room for getoverit lol I must share this family miracle a friend shares with me. A wayward son has come back home. As part of the celebration, tho we r miles apart, I had m...

QOD · QOD

I met my AH at the bank Friday after work so we could sign our divorce papers and have them notorized. He hadn't even read them. So when we sat down I asked him if he wanted to read them or if he just wanted me to sum them up for him. He said he figured he ought to read them but that I could just tell him what they...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ok let me paint the picture for ya..... The Dr that ah works for is cheap and tight. (you couldn't pull a needle out of his butt with a tractor trailor) So we have just enough money to pay the mortgage (which is so high I'm afraid to share the amount with ya) and enough to just pay the bills right. So I applie...

ddub · ddub

1. does anyone else sometimes get the feeling they are losing their mind? - it's not only what you do or don't hear may not be true but also what you don't or do see, could be true or not true - clear as the mud in my mind. 2. how can someone who drank great quanities, passed out nightly & had black outs, c...

maire rua · maire rua

dear All, have had to start putting my own patch in order and have contacted by PhD supervisor after a long time, putting him in the picture, I have not said anything about the ex-A as it has nothing to do with my difficulties with my work and I need to take responsibility for me. I know without this board, I...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey y'all, Just wanted to let you know that our friend, David, has had an eye problem and is beginning to feel better the past day or so. So if you could say some prayers for his eye and his eyesight and then maybe he'll be back to us when he can sit at the computer (which is strenuous for his eyes). Thanks for t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been feeling so much better lately since I have gotten on with my life and left the A behind. It was a challenge to unload him from my heart and soul it reminds me of spiderman 3 and the sticky black evil. It had a strong hold on me and was hard to escape from but now I feel free. Now everyone I know and t...

david62 · david62

Hello (((((Everyone))))) I wanted to catch you all up on things with me. I haven't been around the board or the chatroom much for the last couple of weeks due to an eye issue, as many of you know. My eye is getting better but is still not back up to full operational status yet. It has stopped hurting, and is n...

Paulab · Paulab

Please forgive me, I am new to message boards and this is all very confusing. Don't know where to start but I am very desperate for help. My Mother i fear is far beyond help. Where do I begin? Thanks

klm4446 · klm4446

It was exactly one month ago today my boyfriend (and 1 yr old son's father) died in car crash while DUI. I am getting up every am, going to college FT and taking care of the kids. I am making myself do things but still in so much pain. I got very touching and helpful responses when I posted before, thanks t...

jj35 · jj35

I am "in a relationship" with an A and am having conflicting thoughts on whether to stay "friends" or break myself from him completely. I decided to join this group because I think it will help me to understand his situation better and at the same time not loose myself in it. Any ad...

serendipity · serendipity

In front of a judge to resolve the child support issue and maybe some other issues. My lawyer says he'll be there but I don't trust him. My ex will be there as he is the one contesting paying any support at all. I don't know, I am scared and I am going all alone. I have just felt so very alone lately. I am commin...

meagain · meagain

I don't know where I am in my life--but I feel everyone is expecting so much of me and I am sooo resentful. We are leaving on a 2 week camping trip and my 82yr. old Mom says--Oh I sure wish I could go--Now I mean she really means it! She has had her day of holidays and I think now its my turn. Our 5 adult children...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex text me today that he wants to connect with me but everytime he tries he just feels bad about himself. And that he has a year sobriety. I just cried and cried. In this year of his "sobriety" he has abandonded his kids in every sense, he has left me yet again with all of the responsibility, a...

Lili · Lili

Hi all I am new, and I greatly appreciate all the great advice on this website. Without going into too much detail after 15 years I reached the end of my rope. I said I would stay because of his promise to stop drinking, the kids my fears of being alone, my fear of what he'll turn into. He has been sober fo...

sunny123 · sunny123

I was wondering if anyone has any warnings or advice to someone in their first serious relationship after being with an A for many years. I definitely have baggage and keep accidentally running into my ex-AH and having sad feelings stirred up. We thankfully have no contact otherwise. It was just...

lmt123 · lmt123

I was thinking yesterday when I was on my walk about all the insignificant lies that my AHsober has told me. I even asked the counselor this last week, and she said that there are so many lies up there in that brain of his that he is so confused about what he has said, not said, is about to say, should say, sho...

Diva · Diva

The Cookie Monster A woman was waiting at an airport one night--- There were several long hours to wait for her flight. She hunted for reading in the airport gift shop Bought a big bag of cookies - found a place she could drop. She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see A man sit beside her - as b...

honeycomb · honeycomb

http://www.youtube.com/user/honeysinger1967 About Me: Christian Tbi survivor from domestic violence. Love Christian fellowship, reading my Bible each day, praying. My last online college writing class was in Spring 2007. F...

Mamallama · Mamallama

My AH is miserable and also miserable at his job. In my opinion, it's a good job, but he's doesn't seem to moving forward and advancing. We are up to our eyeballs in debt, I have 2 jobs (sometimes 3) and now he's says he wants to quit and give his 2 weeks notice. It's not the first time he's threatened this...

honeycomb · honeycomb

Just wondering because I am new and would like to go in chat sometimes .......

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))) I finally have some good news in my life. I was offered a full time job at the airport!! The position is a screening officer (the one that xrays your carry on bags and runs the wand over you if you beep) lol. The hours might take some getting used to but thats ok. I'll...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((everyone))))))))))) First of all I would like to thank all that sent their well wishes on my employment. I got offered the second job as well!!!!!! Wooohooo!!! I am waiting for the HR manager to call with an offer but I'm sure it will be fine and I will be accepting that job. It will be much ea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Not too fabulous (Preview) Yesterday, I did go to the ex's work. I did attempt to show his GF (fiancee I just found out, he bought her a beautiful diamond) the text messages he's been sending me for a couple months. He smashed my cell, and got very physically violent and threw me out the door. I went straight to the police station a...	serendipity	7	611	Sep 8, 2007 by frazzled
	Having a hard time. :( (Preview) Well about less than 2weeks ago i thought i had this detachment thing FINALLY figured out. After 13 years of dealing with AH, i thought "wow i'm finally taking care of myself. and to the extent I still am. But it's so hard. I was started to see a change in him as well. But of course that was too good to be...	sgraingermk	5	513	Sep 8, 2007 by Jen
	balance while baby steppin' (Preview) Not feelin' real great so gonna just write what I feel good about and why not .... so I can try and find some light at the end of the tunnel - like a very bad roller coaster ride in a very long dark tunnel - couple sky lights now and then but false hope of more consistant progress bites. gratitude and way to go t...	ddub	5	1117	Sep 7, 2007 by Kim65
	FORCE son to go to AA meetings ? (Preview) O.K. here is my very first post as a newbie..........and my question is.........do you think it's ok for us (as the parents )of a 22 year old A son who is living with us to demand he attend AA meetings ? He's in denial, but has had problems for the past 6 plus years.............mips, jail, treatment pr...	MISC	7	726	Sep 7, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Unusual peace (Preview) I think it's been a couple weeks since I joined and I have been sort of quiet since. I think I'm just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of having my daughter living somewhere else without feeling guilty because I feel that way and without trying to project too much into the future. Her situation is not pe...	Toni	3	425	Sep 7, 2007 by abbyal
	Today I really feel for the A (Preview) I was going to quit smoking today (AGAIN!!!). I was sure I was going to do it. Half way to work I stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and I was soooo disappointed in myself. Then I thought this must be what they feel like times ten. Cigarettes may be killing me but at least they don't cost me EVERYTHI...	carolinagirl	4	690	Sep 7, 2007 by lin0606
	twinmum where are you? (Preview) I have not seen you post in a long long time. I hope all is ok with you. I wrote my creditors today and thought of you and your struggle. I am going to work on it one day at a time. Please post soon and let us all know how you are. maresie.	maresie2	0	339	Sep 7, 2007 by maresie2
	had echo today (Preview) I just got back from having the echocardiogram. The tech said he didn't see anything (could he tell me if he did?), but he had to send the results to the cardiologist and I'd hear from them on Monday. Hopefully he/she won't see anything and hopefully they can explain why the size of my heart has changed...	lmt123	5	365	Sep 7, 2007 by lmt123
	facing jail time (Preview) I saw the A yesterday and decided to keep the beagle for another week. I managed to get it out of him that he is going to court on Monday. He looks absolutely terrible, worse than I have ever seen him. He is not making any sense about what he is going to do. I imagine he presumes he will go to jail although he do...	maresie2	4	545	Sep 7, 2007 by QOD
	And the plot thickens.... (Preview) So I finally got thru to the "special police" who arrested the A back in November the night before I was leaving on my trip to DC with the kids. Anywho, I am going tomorrow to get a copy of the police report to try to clear my name with the insurance company. I learned that this place is a private...	carolinagirl	6	538	Sep 7, 2007 by maresie2
	The only thing that stays the same is change... (Preview) it occurred to me this morning that I keep fighting a losing battle. I keep waiting for the day when everything and everybody is easily handled. The last 3 weeks have been crazy. Filled with loss. The first situation is one of change. I can still have this person in my life just not in the capacity I am used...	seekingserenity	3	544	Sep 6, 2007 by Maria123
	Difficult Relationship EVEN though 3 years Sobriety!! (Preview) My spouse has been sober for three years now. I am so happy for him. The problem I am having is that I do not want to be married any longer. I am surprised by that because I fought so long for saving our marriage and put up with so much. Now, he has been sober but I do not have any feelings for him as a sp...	torias	10	538	Sep 6, 2007 by torias
	What is alcoholism? (Preview) I have been reading some literature concerning the diagnosis of alcoholism. One book in particular identifies it as a physiological disease. My question is how do you know when someone is an alcoholic? One could say after the first DUI, or the second or the third... Or how about finding stashed bo...	TheArtOf	11	717	Sep 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Another painful reminder. (Preview) Well I went to switch insurance companies today and found out that back in Nov. when the A got the dui and the truck was impounded and damaged that the claim I called in was filed under MY driving record as an accident that was MY fault. Considering that I was not anywhere near the vehicle I am extremely fr...	carolinagirl	5	507	Sep 6, 2007 by carolinagirl
	update on situation (Preview) Hi All, ex-A got out of hospital yesterday with Ulceritis Colitis, drink has nothing to do with that right! he went out last night and drank moderately. He is convinced that it is worse than cancer and was a real pain in the butt last night. I knew this would be the case so I detached very quickly. He kept gi...	maire rua	2	425	Sep 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Healing from Surgery (Preview) The surgery for my "trigger Thumb" went OK, only a 1" incision, and 2 stitches, but the scar tissue is pretty big and the stitches painful. I have exercises I have to do to keep my thumb limber, will be off work total of 14 days, today is 1 week since the surgery. AH has been pretty nice. I a...	Becky1	5	513	Sep 6, 2007 by Becky1
	hiding from life in general (Preview) I have been talking to one of my recovery partners at length about a topic that we both seem to have compulsive behaviors behind. I believe now that my long extended relationship with the A was a core symptom of hiding from life. I had to make his life more important than mine in order to hide from all my ne...	maresie2	4	572	Sep 6, 2007 by maresie2
	TRUST (Preview) Hi Everyone, I was invited by another Alanon member to attend a lecture on Alcoholism. The topic of trust was discussed and how important trust is in a relationship. A guy I started dating told me twice he would call me the next day and didn't. I went from feeling angry to feeling betrayed to feeling very...	kissers	4	424	Sep 6, 2007 by Jen
	Break Thru (Preview) Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...	CJ098	4	556	Sep 6, 2007 by Jen
	Happy Sanity Birthday to ME (Preview) Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...	Rita G	8	454	Sep 6, 2007 by carosie
	Set a boundary and stuck to it (Preview) For as long as I can remember I have been dealing with a sibling (58 yo) that is addicted to prescription pain medications. Earlier this year she went to detox, came home started attending meetings and seemed to be doing great. In June her husband was hit with 120 days shock time. Feeling I was doin...	Mobirdie	5	589	Sep 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	doctor appt today, prayers please... (Preview) Hi everyone, I had a dr appointment today because I was having a little chest "discomfort", not sure if it was heartburn or indigestion, as I have never had that before. I hesitated calling the doctor, but did anyway, just in case. They said to come on in to have him check me out, and since I h...	lmt123	13	642	Sep 6, 2007 by rtexas
	ddub (Preview) Hi ddub, The author of Angel Thoughts is Alice CanlasAvancena-so glad you enjoyed it. It's all about us all working the Twelfth step-giving back what we received by sharing life's lessons and wisdom-filled literature here on MIP. SERENITY AND GENTLENESS, NANUKE	NANUKE	2	312	Sep 6, 2007 by getoverit
	W Family Day (Preview) Nine years ago today I married my AH. The divorce should be final in about a month..... so instead of thinking about all the bad things - or putting on rose colored glasses and looking back at the beginning, I decided to tell the kids we'd celebrate our family here today. I think I read in a post here tha...	lmw	2	372	Sep 5, 2007 by janey225
	receiving love (Preview) Accepting Love Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate. To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of...	Tiger2006	4	443	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	Family Emergency Please Read (Preview) Dear Family, I am sorry that we have not been in the rooms for the past 2 weeks. We have had a death in the family, Johns sister. We will be able to provide more information when we get home. We have been in Virginia taking care of family in the time of crisis. We will still be out of town for a few more da...	John	20	791	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	really long and sometimes graphic thoughts (Preview) you might read this and get grossed out or think what does this have to do with alcohol. it all ties together and some of it doesnt its just about me and my beginning of my journey to get to the root of my problems so i can deal with them and find the real me.there are so many freakin things running through this...	frazzled	4	656	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	entitlement and kids (Preview) I was reading Carolina girl's post on the A and their overblown sense of entitlement. I completley agree and I used to even admire my A's courage to think that way. My thought has always been the exact oppisite. I don't feel I deserve anything, even when I work hard for it. But my question is, when does th...	serendipity	7	522	Sep 5, 2007 by maresie2
	oh P.S. (Preview) It would be a really bad idea to "blackmail" my ex into paying for my little one's nursery school, right? I have asked twice very nicely and he has not responded except to want sex from me. I should NOT threathen to tell his GF and her mother all that he has done with me while living with her. That...	serendipity	4	432	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	Taking people for granted (Preview) I was thinking the other day about how wonderful new love is when you first find that love and there's that energy and nothing but loving words. I remember at our wedding ceremony the guy saying the paper isn't what is important it's the words that you say to eachother. Always use loving words, etc. I...	carolinagirl	7	611	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	check in (Preview) I have been missing you all here lately but have been too tired to write or read much.....kids back to school,me with various medical tests (all ok and no more cancer so far), one daughter broke her arm, fell off a wall and scraped her face bad, lost a tooth and turned 7 all this week(all on different days n...	Fifi	4	428	Sep 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Detaching from Feelings (Preview) All, Only 2.5 more weeks till my delivery date. I have to admit that fears come up regularly about whether or not I need to get to the hospital. I chose to not be near family and it seems like I get reminded by my family of that a lot. But of course its my own guilt about it rather than their issue. The AH wi...	renah	2	415	Sep 5, 2007 by Leetle
	Ideations on self fufilling prophecies (Preview) Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --William James Many of us learned as children that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won't work out, that fear - like a shadow - is al...	Tiger2006	7	375	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	finally seeing him as very ill (Preview) The A I was with for the last 7 years has a major physical illness as well as his own emotional illness and his addiction. This weekend I saw him. As I am preparing that he will probably go to jail and don't want there to be any last minute crisis for me I offered to let him have some space in my storage space. I h...	maresie2	5	475	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	back from court (Preview) Well, first let me say I look GREAT! I look like an adult, going to court. Nevermind that I have duct tape in my shoes and my skirt is 10 years old, I look fabulous! I got there early and sat and read my book, centered myself. My idiot lawyer shows up and quickly goes over things. My ex shows up and hides in the...	serendipity	6	365	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	No more sympathy (Preview) Boohoo. Boohoo. I am tired of hearing AH crying about how sick he feels because they are cutting him back on his methadone. After all the money he has taken away from our family to feed his addictions over the years. After all of the money he has already spent over the past 7 months at the methadone clin...	Denoraphy	5	549	Sep 5, 2007 by Loupiness
	doing better today (Preview) I just wanted you all to know that I am doing better today. More positive about the issues going on in my life. For anyone struggling, the best thing to do is take life one day, one hour, one minute at a time. This is short but sweet. Thanks to God for sending his angels to help me. Amen I will write more later....	hippietrippiechick	4	427	Sep 5, 2007 by Loupiness
	log in quandry and it will resolve itself (Preview) Hello my precious friends, For whatever reason, the fates have kept me from logging in, however, I am able to log in here.. just no chat room for getoverit lol I must share this family miracle a friend shares with me. A wayward son has come back home. As part of the celebration, tho we r miles apart, I had m...	getoverit	2	414	Sep 5, 2007 by david62
	We signed the divorce papers (Preview) I met my AH at the bank Friday after work so we could sign our divorce papers and have them notorized. He hadn't even read them. So when we sat down I asked him if he wanted to read them or if he just wanted me to sum them up for him. He said he figured he ought to read them but that I could just tell him what they...	QOD	7	548	Sep 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	My HP has a twisted sense of humor. (Preview) Ok let me paint the picture for ya..... The Dr that ah works for is cheap and tight. (you couldn't pull a needle out of his butt with a tractor trailor) So we have just enough money to pay the mortgage (which is so high I'm afraid to share the amount with ya) and enough to just pay the bills right. So I applie...	Friendofyours	11	775	Sep 5, 2007 by getoverit
	a few questions (Preview) 1. does anyone else sometimes get the feeling they are losing their mind? - it's not only what you do or don't hear may not be true but also what you don't or do see, could be true or not true - clear as the mud in my mind. 2. how can someone who drank great quanities, passed out nightly & had black outs, c...	ddub	7	594	Sep 5, 2007 by ddub
	facing difficulties (Preview) dear All, have had to start putting my own patch in order and have contacted by PhD supervisor after a long time, putting him in the picture, I have not said anything about the ex-A as it has nothing to do with my difficulties with my work and I need to take responsibility for me. I know without this board, I...	maire rua	3	390	Sep 4, 2007 by Leetle
	for our friend, David62 (Preview) Hey y'all, Just wanted to let you know that our friend, David, has had an eye problem and is beginning to feel better the past day or so. So if you could say some prayers for his eye and his eyesight and then maybe he'll be back to us when he can sit at the computer (which is strenuous for his eyes). Thanks for t...	Maria123	19	780	Sep 4, 2007 by Leetle
	Entitlement and getting better. (Preview) I have been feeling so much better lately since I have gotten on with my life and left the A behind. It was a challenge to unload him from my heart and soul it reminds me of spiderman 3 and the sticky black evil. It had a strong hold on me and was hard to escape from but now I feel free. Now everyone I know and t...	carolinagirl	5	577	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Observations from my left eye (Preview) Hello (((((Everyone))))) I wanted to catch you all up on things with me. I haven't been around the board or the chatroom much for the last couple of weeks due to an eye issue, as many of you know. My eye is getting better but is still not back up to full operational status yet. It has stopped hurting, and is n...	david62	8	683	Sep 4, 2007 by maresie2
	Forgive me, I am new (Preview) Please forgive me, I am new to message boards and this is all very confusing. Don't know where to start but I am very desperate for help. My Mother i fear is far beyond help. Where do I begin? Thanks	Paulab	4	475	Sep 4, 2007 by Jen
	one month later-very bad day (Preview) It was exactly one month ago today my boyfriend (and 1 yr old son's father) died in car crash while DUI. I am getting up every am, going to college FT and taking care of the kids. I am making myself do things but still in so much pain. I got very touching and helpful responses when I posted before, thanks t...	klm4446	6	533	Sep 4, 2007 by maresie2
	I'm new here (Preview) I am "in a relationship" with an A and am having conflicting thoughts on whether to stay "friends" or break myself from him completely. I decided to join this group because I think it will help me to understand his situation better and at the same time not loose myself in it. Any ad...	jj35	6	522	Sep 4, 2007 by jj35
	going to court today (Preview) In front of a judge to resolve the child support issue and maybe some other issues. My lawyer says he'll be there but I don't trust him. My ex will be there as he is the one contesting paying any support at all. I don't know, I am scared and I am going all alone. I have just felt so very alone lately. I am commin...	serendipity	4	366	Sep 4, 2007 by Kim65
	Help please (Preview) I don't know where I am in my life--but I feel everyone is expecting so much of me and I am sooo resentful. We are leaving on a 2 week camping trip and my 82yr. old Mom says--Oh I sure wish I could go--Now I mean she really means it! She has had her day of holidays and I think now its my turn. Our 5 adult children...	meagain	4	408	Sep 4, 2007 by canadianguy
	One year of sobriety? (Preview) My ex text me today that he wants to connect with me but everytime he tries he just feels bad about himself. And that he has a year sobriety. I just cried and cried. In this year of his "sobriety" he has abandonded his kids in every sense, he has left me yet again with all of the responsibility, a...	serendipity	5	586	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	How to tell the kids (Preview) Hi all I am new, and I greatly appreciate all the great advice on this website. Without going into too much detail after 15 years I reached the end of my rope. I said I would stay because of his promise to stop drinking, the kids my fears of being alone, my fear of what he'll turn into. He has been sober fo...	Lili	6	674	Sep 4, 2007 by QOD
	Relationships after the Alcoholic (Preview) I was wondering if anyone has any warnings or advice to someone in their first serious relationship after being with an A for many years. I definitely have baggage and keep accidentally running into my ex-AH and having sad feelings stirred up. We thankfully have no contact otherwise. It was just...	sunny123	9	1630	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Waiting (from the Language of Letting Go) (Preview) I was thinking yesterday when I was on my walk about all the insignificant lies that my AHsober has told me. I even asked the counselor this last week, and she said that there are so many lies up there in that brain of his that he is so confused about what he has said, not said, is about to say, should say, sho...	lmt123	3	520	Sep 4, 2007 by renah
	Off topic...just for a smile. (Preview) The Cookie Monster A woman was waiting at an airport one night--- There were several long hours to wait for her flight. She hunted for reading in the airport gift shop Bought a big bag of cookies - found a place she could drop. She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see A man sit beside her - as b...	Diva	5	560	Sep 3, 2007 by carosie
	I am new here. tbi domestic violence survivor (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/user/honeysinger1967 About Me: Christian Tbi survivor from domestic violence. Love Christian fellowship, reading my Bible each day, praying. My last online college writing class was in Spring 2007. F...	honeycomb	2	875	Sep 3, 2007 by Kim65
	Not sure if I should ignore what A says or not (Preview) My AH is miserable and also miserable at his job. In my opinion, it's a good job, but he's doesn't seem to moving forward and advancing. We are up to our eyeballs in debt, I have 2 jobs (sometimes 3) and now he's says he wants to quit and give his 2 weeks notice. It's not the first time he's threatened this...	Mamallama	6	605	Sep 3, 2007 by Diva
	Are there certain times for the chat? (Preview) Just wondering because I am new and would like to go in chat sometimes .......	honeycomb	2	326	Sep 3, 2007 by honeycomb
	Woo Hoo!!! Good news for a change. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))) I finally have some good news in my life. I was offered a full time job at the airport!! The position is a screening officer (the one that xrays your carry on bags and runs the wand over you if you beep) lol. The hours might take some getting used to but thats ok. I'll...	shadow1	13	616	Sep 3, 2007 by Karilynn
	Update :) (Preview) ((((((((((everyone))))))))))) First of all I would like to thank all that sent their well wishes on my employment. I got offered the second job as well!!!!!! Wooohooo!!! I am waiting for the HR manager to call with an offer but I'm sure it will be fine and I will be accepting that job. It will be much ea...	shadow1	6	418	Sep 3, 2007 by ET
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