Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...

Rita G · Rita G

Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

For as long as I can remember I have been dealing with a sibling (58 yo) that is addicted to prescription pain medications. Earlier this year she went to detox, came home started attending meetings and seemed to be doing great. In June her husband was hit with 120 days shock time. Feeling I was doin...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi everyone, I had a dr appointment today because I was having a little chest "discomfort", not sure if it was heartburn or indigestion, as I have never had that before. I hesitated calling the doctor, but did anyway, just in case. They said to come on in to have him check me out, and since I h...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi ddub, The author of Angel Thoughts is Alice CanlasAvancena-so glad you enjoyed it. It's all about us all working the Twelfth step-giving back what we received by sharing life's lessons and wisdom-filled literature here on MIP. SERENITY AND GENTLENESS, NANUKE

lmw · lmw

Nine years ago today I married my AH. The divorce should be final in about a month..... so instead of thinking about all the bad things - or putting on rose colored glasses and looking back at the beginning, I decided to tell the kids we'd celebrate our family here today. I think I read in a post here tha...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Accepting Love Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate. To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of...

John · John

Dear Family, I am sorry that we have not been in the rooms for the past 2 weeks. We have had a death in the family, Johns sister. We will be able to provide more information when we get home. We have been in Virginia taking care of family in the time of crisis. We will still be out of town for a few more da...

frazzled · frazzled

you might read this and get grossed out or think what does this have to do with alcohol. it all ties together and some of it doesnt its just about me and my beginning of my journey to get to the root of my problems so i can deal with them and find the real me.there are so many freakin things running through this...

serendipity · serendipity

I was reading Carolina girl's post on the A and their overblown sense of entitlement. I completley agree and I used to even admire my A's courage to think that way. My thought has always been the exact oppisite. I don't feel I deserve anything, even when I work hard for it. But my question is, when does th...

serendipity · serendipity

It would be a really bad idea to "blackmail" my ex into paying for my little one's nursery school, right? I have asked twice very nicely and he has not responded except to want sex from me. I should NOT threathen to tell his GF and her mother all that he has done with me while living with her. That...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking the other day about how wonderful new love is when you first find that love and there's that energy and nothing but loving words. I remember at our wedding ceremony the guy saying the paper isn't what is important it's the words that you say to eachother. Always use loving words, etc. I...

Fifi · Fifi

I have been missing you all here lately but have been too tired to write or read much.....kids back to school,me with various medical tests (all ok and no more cancer so far), one daughter broke her arm, fell off a wall and scraped her face bad, lost a tooth and turned 7 all this week(all on different days n...

renah · renah

All, Only 2.5 more weeks till my delivery date. I have to admit that fears come up regularly about whether or not I need to get to the hospital. I chose to not be near family and it seems like I get reminded by my family of that a lot. But of course its my own guilt about it rather than their issue. The AH wi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --William James Many of us learned as children that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won't work out, that fear - like a shadow - is al...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A I was with for the last 7 years has a major physical illness as well as his own emotional illness and his addiction. This weekend I saw him. As I am preparing that he will probably go to jail and don't want there to be any last minute crisis for me I offered to let him have some space in my storage space. I h...

serendipity · serendipity

Well, first let me say I look GREAT! I look like an adult, going to court. Nevermind that I have duct tape in my shoes and my skirt is 10 years old, I look fabulous! I got there early and sat and read my book, centered myself. My idiot lawyer shows up and quickly goes over things. My ex shows up and hides in the...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Boohoo. Boohoo. I am tired of hearing AH crying about how sick he feels because they are cutting him back on his methadone. After all the money he has taken away from our family to feed his addictions over the years. After all of the money he has already spent over the past 7 months at the methadone clin...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I just wanted you all to know that I am doing better today. More positive about the issues going on in my life. For anyone struggling, the best thing to do is take life one day, one hour, one minute at a time. This is short but sweet. Thanks to God for sending his angels to help me. Amen I will write more later....

getoverit · getoverit

Hello my precious friends, For whatever reason, the fates have kept me from logging in, however, I am able to log in here.. just no chat room for getoverit lol I must share this family miracle a friend shares with me. A wayward son has come back home. As part of the celebration, tho we r miles apart, I had m...

QOD · QOD

I met my AH at the bank Friday after work so we could sign our divorce papers and have them notorized. He hadn't even read them. So when we sat down I asked him if he wanted to read them or if he just wanted me to sum them up for him. He said he figured he ought to read them but that I could just tell him what they...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ok let me paint the picture for ya..... The Dr that ah works for is cheap and tight. (you couldn't pull a needle out of his butt with a tractor trailor) So we have just enough money to pay the mortgage (which is so high I'm afraid to share the amount with ya) and enough to just pay the bills right. So I applie...

ddub · ddub

1. does anyone else sometimes get the feeling they are losing their mind? - it's not only what you do or don't hear may not be true but also what you don't or do see, could be true or not true - clear as the mud in my mind. 2. how can someone who drank great quanities, passed out nightly & had black outs, c...

maire rua · maire rua

dear All, have had to start putting my own patch in order and have contacted by PhD supervisor after a long time, putting him in the picture, I have not said anything about the ex-A as it has nothing to do with my difficulties with my work and I need to take responsibility for me. I know without this board, I...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey y'all, Just wanted to let you know that our friend, David, has had an eye problem and is beginning to feel better the past day or so. So if you could say some prayers for his eye and his eyesight and then maybe he'll be back to us when he can sit at the computer (which is strenuous for his eyes). Thanks for t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been feeling so much better lately since I have gotten on with my life and left the A behind. It was a challenge to unload him from my heart and soul it reminds me of spiderman 3 and the sticky black evil. It had a strong hold on me and was hard to escape from but now I feel free. Now everyone I know and t...

david62 · david62

Hello (((((Everyone))))) I wanted to catch you all up on things with me. I haven't been around the board or the chatroom much for the last couple of weeks due to an eye issue, as many of you know. My eye is getting better but is still not back up to full operational status yet. It has stopped hurting, and is n...

Paulab · Paulab

Please forgive me, I am new to message boards and this is all very confusing. Don't know where to start but I am very desperate for help. My Mother i fear is far beyond help. Where do I begin? Thanks

klm4446 · klm4446

It was exactly one month ago today my boyfriend (and 1 yr old son's father) died in car crash while DUI. I am getting up every am, going to college FT and taking care of the kids. I am making myself do things but still in so much pain. I got very touching and helpful responses when I posted before, thanks t...

jj35 · jj35

I am "in a relationship" with an A and am having conflicting thoughts on whether to stay "friends" or break myself from him completely. I decided to join this group because I think it will help me to understand his situation better and at the same time not loose myself in it. Any ad...

serendipity · serendipity

In front of a judge to resolve the child support issue and maybe some other issues. My lawyer says he'll be there but I don't trust him. My ex will be there as he is the one contesting paying any support at all. I don't know, I am scared and I am going all alone. I have just felt so very alone lately. I am commin...

meagain · meagain

I don't know where I am in my life--but I feel everyone is expecting so much of me and I am sooo resentful. We are leaving on a 2 week camping trip and my 82yr. old Mom says--Oh I sure wish I could go--Now I mean she really means it! She has had her day of holidays and I think now its my turn. Our 5 adult children...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex text me today that he wants to connect with me but everytime he tries he just feels bad about himself. And that he has a year sobriety. I just cried and cried. In this year of his "sobriety" he has abandonded his kids in every sense, he has left me yet again with all of the responsibility, a...

Lili · Lili

Hi all I am new, and I greatly appreciate all the great advice on this website. Without going into too much detail after 15 years I reached the end of my rope. I said I would stay because of his promise to stop drinking, the kids my fears of being alone, my fear of what he'll turn into. He has been sober fo...

sunny123 · sunny123

I was wondering if anyone has any warnings or advice to someone in their first serious relationship after being with an A for many years. I definitely have baggage and keep accidentally running into my ex-AH and having sad feelings stirred up. We thankfully have no contact otherwise. It was just...

lmt123 · lmt123

I was thinking yesterday when I was on my walk about all the insignificant lies that my AHsober has told me. I even asked the counselor this last week, and she said that there are so many lies up there in that brain of his that he is so confused about what he has said, not said, is about to say, should say, sho...

Diva · Diva

The Cookie Monster A woman was waiting at an airport one night--- There were several long hours to wait for her flight. She hunted for reading in the airport gift shop Bought a big bag of cookies - found a place she could drop. She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see A man sit beside her - as b...

honeycomb · honeycomb

http://www.youtube.com/user/honeysinger1967 About Me: Christian Tbi survivor from domestic violence. Love Christian fellowship, reading my Bible each day, praying. My last online college writing class was in Spring 2007. F...

Mamallama · Mamallama

My AH is miserable and also miserable at his job. In my opinion, it's a good job, but he's doesn't seem to moving forward and advancing. We are up to our eyeballs in debt, I have 2 jobs (sometimes 3) and now he's says he wants to quit and give his 2 weeks notice. It's not the first time he's threatened this...

honeycomb · honeycomb

Just wondering because I am new and would like to go in chat sometimes .......

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))) I finally have some good news in my life. I was offered a full time job at the airport!! The position is a screening officer (the one that xrays your carry on bags and runs the wand over you if you beep) lol. The hours might take some getting used to but thats ok. I'll...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((everyone))))))))))) First of all I would like to thank all that sent their well wishes on my employment. I got offered the second job as well!!!!!! Wooohooo!!! I am waiting for the HR manager to call with an offer but I'm sure it will be fine and I will be accepting that job. It will be much ea...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I am just beat. Yesterday, much to my surprise and happiness, I was taken out to lunch by the chair and the senior faculty of the econ dept. I was being wined and dined for their graduate program! So the whole time--well, after about 20 mins of being like, "Ok, gotta do this right, can't screw this...

NANUKE · NANUKE

ANGEL THOUGHTS " Serenity is....... To walk when others are running. To whisper when others are shouting. To sleep when others are restless. To smile when others are angry. To pau...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My ahsober (7 mos) has been gone for 5 days on an annual fishing trip with his 2 best friends. Something that is a bit scary and unexpected for me is that I have felt peace with him gone. This is in spite of the knowledge that he will surrounded by a very familair situation in which he is used to drinking a lot...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

From the author of Women Who Run with the Wolves. Let Your Light Shine Bright By Clarissa Pinkola Estes My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ou...

frazzled · frazzled

i am very interested in the new issue that came up tonight (for me anyway) ,,, i have heard or read somewhere recently about this but so mch going on so i tend to jump from thing to thing. lol alot of people in the group were talking about not wanting to get into relationships out of fear of finding the kinds o...

Jen · Jen

I am trying today to be thankful for small accomplishments, from myself and my AH. I realize he is trying and that I am trying and expectaions from both of us really get in the way. So today I am making a list for myself of the things I would like to accomplish for today. I will be thankful for anything I can ge...

Maria123 · Maria123

Due to the long weekend, we decided to postpone the business meeting to next week, Sunday, September 9th, 9:00 p.m. EST SEPTEMBER 9TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval - August 5th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. ...

wp · wp

Since it's Labor Day, I wonder if the business mtg will be held Sunday? Or when? Thanks, pw

frazzled · frazzled

man i really need a sponsor. i was planning on asking this one older woman who i had spoken to twice before, but she wasnt around tonight and i wsnt fully on the fence about it either...... i am just really eager to get started with the steps. and when i dont get to a face 2 face meeting i lose my focus on the phi...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I had shoulder surgery two weeks ago. Went in for my check-up and the screw had slipped and went in last week for another surgery. Pain again. Has set me back at work adn life itself. There but for the grace of god friends and family had stepped up to help me. My Ahsober finally showed up to hel...

nycbt · nycbt

I would like to tell everyone yesterday my grandma died. I am hanging in there I am doing ok.

Unsure · Unsure

My husband is trying to get custody of his son from his ex-wife who is an alcoholic, and we think a druggie. She is a mess. They went to court on it in July and were ordered to do mediation, which she refused. So while she was refusing to do the mediation,. her parents went to the courthouse and got paperw...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have moved to a place that is not much better than the last place I lived in. The room itself is like an oven and I have had to work really overtime to get it to a place of habitabiity. I feel like I am running on the spot all the time. One of my neighbors who is a man about the same age as I am has been very very he...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

What the hell is wrong with him???? (the ah) I just found out he borrowed $400 from his father to get his truck fixed but............he used that excuse to only give me a portion of the paycheck. So he had a ton of money and left me and the kids with hardly nothing. I got him in a huge lie. He said "I didn'...

florrie · florrie

i just need to share that im feeling crazy. i have anger and i need help. there are some old freinds staying with us and i feel i am losing my serenity. my hubby who is normally silent, broody and distant, is very animated in this womans company. he is a different person. it makes me feel wierd and disconne...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((((Everyone))))))))) I have often been moved to tears by the support you have offered me here. Life is just such a strange harbor to be sailing in some days... you all help me see the rocks... and the open water. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. A very very dear friend of mine lent me a cd from...

lness8 · lness8

Hi My name is Lynn. I have been married to an AH/DA for 14 years now. We have 3 children together. I have put up with alot, and Iam sure their are many who put up with more than I have. Over the years, I have dealth with the usual, dui's, no money, him not coming home. Getting mad, fighting, making up. In t...

kissers · kissers

I am so sick and tired of scrounging at the bottom just to get by. My ex A sent me an e-mail threatening to hire a private investigator to find me. He can afford a private investigator, but he couldn't pay child support for the last 7 years! Now I am working for a company that has an A for an owner. He lied to me a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Break Thru (Preview) Hi everyone, It was suggested to me that I read, "Getting Them Sober", by Toby Rice Drews. It happened to be the same time that I thought I would go crazy if I didn't do something about me, to help me, TODAY. So when I logged on this site this morning in the middle of my little crisis, I saw that...	CJ098	4	508	Sep 6, 2007 by Jen
	Happy Sanity Birthday to ME (Preview) Yesterday, 9/3 was my Al-Anon Birthday. I have been on this path of recovery for 4 yrs. Wow - what an amazing path my HP has brought me thru. What original brought me to the rooms of Al-Anon was seeking a cure for the pain - what I have found is a beautiful new way of life. The circumstances around me have n...	Rita G	8	403	Sep 6, 2007 by carosie
	Set a boundary and stuck to it (Preview) For as long as I can remember I have been dealing with a sibling (58 yo) that is addicted to prescription pain medications. Earlier this year she went to detox, came home started attending meetings and seemed to be doing great. In June her husband was hit with 120 days shock time. Feeling I was doin...	Mobirdie	5	540	Sep 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	doctor appt today, prayers please... (Preview) Hi everyone, I had a dr appointment today because I was having a little chest "discomfort", not sure if it was heartburn or indigestion, as I have never had that before. I hesitated calling the doctor, but did anyway, just in case. They said to come on in to have him check me out, and since I h...	lmt123	13	593	Sep 6, 2007 by rtexas
	ddub (Preview) Hi ddub, The author of Angel Thoughts is Alice CanlasAvancena-so glad you enjoyed it. It's all about us all working the Twelfth step-giving back what we received by sharing life's lessons and wisdom-filled literature here on MIP. SERENITY AND GENTLENESS, NANUKE	NANUKE	2	264	Sep 6, 2007 by getoverit
	W Family Day (Preview) Nine years ago today I married my AH. The divorce should be final in about a month..... so instead of thinking about all the bad things - or putting on rose colored glasses and looking back at the beginning, I decided to tell the kids we'd celebrate our family here today. I think I read in a post here tha...	lmw	2	325	Sep 5, 2007 by janey225
	receiving love (Preview) Accepting Love Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate. To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of...	Tiger2006	4	399	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	Family Emergency Please Read (Preview) Dear Family, I am sorry that we have not been in the rooms for the past 2 weeks. We have had a death in the family, Johns sister. We will be able to provide more information when we get home. We have been in Virginia taking care of family in the time of crisis. We will still be out of town for a few more da...	John	20	746	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	really long and sometimes graphic thoughts (Preview) you might read this and get grossed out or think what does this have to do with alcohol. it all ties together and some of it doesnt its just about me and my beginning of my journey to get to the root of my problems so i can deal with them and find the real me.there are so many freakin things running through this...	frazzled	4	606	Sep 5, 2007 by moms3
	entitlement and kids (Preview) I was reading Carolina girl's post on the A and their overblown sense of entitlement. I completley agree and I used to even admire my A's courage to think that way. My thought has always been the exact oppisite. I don't feel I deserve anything, even when I work hard for it. But my question is, when does th...	serendipity	7	469	Sep 5, 2007 by maresie2
	oh P.S. (Preview) It would be a really bad idea to "blackmail" my ex into paying for my little one's nursery school, right? I have asked twice very nicely and he has not responded except to want sex from me. I should NOT threathen to tell his GF and her mother all that he has done with me while living with her. That...	serendipity	4	380	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	Taking people for granted (Preview) I was thinking the other day about how wonderful new love is when you first find that love and there's that energy and nothing but loving words. I remember at our wedding ceremony the guy saying the paper isn't what is important it's the words that you say to eachother. Always use loving words, etc. I...	carolinagirl	7	557	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	check in (Preview) I have been missing you all here lately but have been too tired to write or read much.....kids back to school,me with various medical tests (all ok and no more cancer so far), one daughter broke her arm, fell off a wall and scraped her face bad, lost a tooth and turned 7 all this week(all on different days n...	Fifi	4	379	Sep 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Detaching from Feelings (Preview) All, Only 2.5 more weeks till my delivery date. I have to admit that fears come up regularly about whether or not I need to get to the hospital. I chose to not be near family and it seems like I get reminded by my family of that a lot. But of course its my own guilt about it rather than their issue. The AH wi...	renah	2	359	Sep 5, 2007 by Leetle
	Ideations on self fufilling prophecies (Preview) Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --William James Many of us learned as children that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won't work out, that fear - like a shadow - is al...	Tiger2006	7	323	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	finally seeing him as very ill (Preview) The A I was with for the last 7 years has a major physical illness as well as his own emotional illness and his addiction. This weekend I saw him. As I am preparing that he will probably go to jail and don't want there to be any last minute crisis for me I offered to let him have some space in my storage space. I h...	maresie2	5	428	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	back from court (Preview) Well, first let me say I look GREAT! I look like an adult, going to court. Nevermind that I have duct tape in my shoes and my skirt is 10 years old, I look fabulous! I got there early and sat and read my book, centered myself. My idiot lawyer shows up and quickly goes over things. My ex shows up and hides in the...	serendipity	6	315	Sep 5, 2007 by Jen
	No more sympathy (Preview) Boohoo. Boohoo. I am tired of hearing AH crying about how sick he feels because they are cutting him back on his methadone. After all the money he has taken away from our family to feed his addictions over the years. After all of the money he has already spent over the past 7 months at the methadone clin...	Denoraphy	5	497	Sep 5, 2007 by Loupiness
	doing better today (Preview) I just wanted you all to know that I am doing better today. More positive about the issues going on in my life. For anyone struggling, the best thing to do is take life one day, one hour, one minute at a time. This is short but sweet. Thanks to God for sending his angels to help me. Amen I will write more later....	hippietrippiechick	4	376	Sep 5, 2007 by Loupiness
	log in quandry and it will resolve itself (Preview) Hello my precious friends, For whatever reason, the fates have kept me from logging in, however, I am able to log in here.. just no chat room for getoverit lol I must share this family miracle a friend shares with me. A wayward son has come back home. As part of the celebration, tho we r miles apart, I had m...	getoverit	2	364	Sep 5, 2007 by david62
	We signed the divorce papers (Preview) I met my AH at the bank Friday after work so we could sign our divorce papers and have them notorized. He hadn't even read them. So when we sat down I asked him if he wanted to read them or if he just wanted me to sum them up for him. He said he figured he ought to read them but that I could just tell him what they...	QOD	7	501	Sep 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	My HP has a twisted sense of humor. (Preview) Ok let me paint the picture for ya..... The Dr that ah works for is cheap and tight. (you couldn't pull a needle out of his butt with a tractor trailor) So we have just enough money to pay the mortgage (which is so high I'm afraid to share the amount with ya) and enough to just pay the bills right. So I applie...	Friendofyours	11	657	Sep 5, 2007 by getoverit
	a few questions (Preview) 1. does anyone else sometimes get the feeling they are losing their mind? - it's not only what you do or don't hear may not be true but also what you don't or do see, could be true or not true - clear as the mud in my mind. 2. how can someone who drank great quanities, passed out nightly & had black outs, c...	ddub	7	549	Sep 5, 2007 by ddub
	facing difficulties (Preview) dear All, have had to start putting my own patch in order and have contacted by PhD supervisor after a long time, putting him in the picture, I have not said anything about the ex-A as it has nothing to do with my difficulties with my work and I need to take responsibility for me. I know without this board, I...	maire rua	3	344	Sep 4, 2007 by Leetle
	for our friend, David62 (Preview) Hey y'all, Just wanted to let you know that our friend, David, has had an eye problem and is beginning to feel better the past day or so. So if you could say some prayers for his eye and his eyesight and then maybe he'll be back to us when he can sit at the computer (which is strenuous for his eyes). Thanks for t...	Maria123	19	729	Sep 4, 2007 by Leetle
	Entitlement and getting better. (Preview) I have been feeling so much better lately since I have gotten on with my life and left the A behind. It was a challenge to unload him from my heart and soul it reminds me of spiderman 3 and the sticky black evil. It had a strong hold on me and was hard to escape from but now I feel free. Now everyone I know and t...	carolinagirl	5	525	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Observations from my left eye (Preview) Hello (((((Everyone))))) I wanted to catch you all up on things with me. I haven't been around the board or the chatroom much for the last couple of weeks due to an eye issue, as many of you know. My eye is getting better but is still not back up to full operational status yet. It has stopped hurting, and is n...	david62	8	639	Sep 4, 2007 by maresie2
	Forgive me, I am new (Preview) Please forgive me, I am new to message boards and this is all very confusing. Don't know where to start but I am very desperate for help. My Mother i fear is far beyond help. Where do I begin? Thanks	Paulab	4	425	Sep 4, 2007 by Jen
	one month later-very bad day (Preview) It was exactly one month ago today my boyfriend (and 1 yr old son's father) died in car crash while DUI. I am getting up every am, going to college FT and taking care of the kids. I am making myself do things but still in so much pain. I got very touching and helpful responses when I posted before, thanks t...	klm4446	6	485	Sep 4, 2007 by maresie2
	I'm new here (Preview) I am "in a relationship" with an A and am having conflicting thoughts on whether to stay "friends" or break myself from him completely. I decided to join this group because I think it will help me to understand his situation better and at the same time not loose myself in it. Any ad...	jj35	6	475	Sep 4, 2007 by jj35
	going to court today (Preview) In front of a judge to resolve the child support issue and maybe some other issues. My lawyer says he'll be there but I don't trust him. My ex will be there as he is the one contesting paying any support at all. I don't know, I am scared and I am going all alone. I have just felt so very alone lately. I am commin...	serendipity	4	319	Sep 4, 2007 by Kim65
	Help please (Preview) I don't know where I am in my life--but I feel everyone is expecting so much of me and I am sooo resentful. We are leaving on a 2 week camping trip and my 82yr. old Mom says--Oh I sure wish I could go--Now I mean she really means it! She has had her day of holidays and I think now its my turn. Our 5 adult children...	meagain	4	357	Sep 4, 2007 by canadianguy
	One year of sobriety? (Preview) My ex text me today that he wants to connect with me but everytime he tries he just feels bad about himself. And that he has a year sobriety. I just cried and cried. In this year of his "sobriety" he has abandonded his kids in every sense, he has left me yet again with all of the responsibility, a...	serendipity	5	535	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	How to tell the kids (Preview) Hi all I am new, and I greatly appreciate all the great advice on this website. Without going into too much detail after 15 years I reached the end of my rope. I said I would stay because of his promise to stop drinking, the kids my fears of being alone, my fear of what he'll turn into. He has been sober fo...	Lili	6	598	Sep 4, 2007 by QOD
	Relationships after the Alcoholic (Preview) I was wondering if anyone has any warnings or advice to someone in their first serious relationship after being with an A for many years. I definitely have baggage and keep accidentally running into my ex-AH and having sad feelings stirred up. We thankfully have no contact otherwise. It was just...	sunny123	9	1578	Sep 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Waiting (from the Language of Letting Go) (Preview) I was thinking yesterday when I was on my walk about all the insignificant lies that my AHsober has told me. I even asked the counselor this last week, and she said that there are so many lies up there in that brain of his that he is so confused about what he has said, not said, is about to say, should say, sho...	lmt123	3	471	Sep 4, 2007 by renah
	Off topic...just for a smile. (Preview) The Cookie Monster A woman was waiting at an airport one night--- There were several long hours to wait for her flight. She hunted for reading in the airport gift shop Bought a big bag of cookies - found a place she could drop. She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see A man sit beside her - as b...	Diva	5	515	Sep 3, 2007 by carosie
	I am new here. tbi domestic violence survivor (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/user/honeysinger1967 About Me: Christian Tbi survivor from domestic violence. Love Christian fellowship, reading my Bible each day, praying. My last online college writing class was in Spring 2007. F...	honeycomb	2	766	Sep 3, 2007 by Kim65
	Not sure if I should ignore what A says or not (Preview) My AH is miserable and also miserable at his job. In my opinion, it's a good job, but he's doesn't seem to moving forward and advancing. We are up to our eyeballs in debt, I have 2 jobs (sometimes 3) and now he's says he wants to quit and give his 2 weeks notice. It's not the first time he's threatened this...	Mamallama	6	556	Sep 3, 2007 by Diva
	Are there certain times for the chat? (Preview) Just wondering because I am new and would like to go in chat sometimes .......	honeycomb	2	279	Sep 3, 2007 by honeycomb
	Woo Hoo!!! Good news for a change. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))) I finally have some good news in my life. I was offered a full time job at the airport!! The position is a screening officer (the one that xrays your carry on bags and runs the wand over you if you beep) lol. The hours might take some getting used to but thats ok. I'll...	shadow1	13	569	Sep 3, 2007 by Karilynn
	Update :) (Preview) ((((((((((everyone))))))))))) First of all I would like to thank all that sent their well wishes on my employment. I got offered the second job as well!!!!!! Wooohooo!!! I am waiting for the HR manager to call with an offer but I'm sure it will be fine and I will be accepting that job. It will be much ea...	shadow1	6	366	Sep 3, 2007 by ET
	learning to feel good feelings takes energy too (Preview) I am just beat. Yesterday, much to my surprise and happiness, I was taken out to lunch by the chair and the senior faculty of the econ dept. I was being wined and dined for their graduate program! So the whole time--well, after about 20 mins of being like, "Ok, gotta do this right, can't screw this...	Tiger2006	3	973	Sep 2, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	ANGEL THOUGHTS (Preview) ANGEL THOUGHTS *" Serenity is....... To walk when others are running. To whisper when others are shouting. To sleep when others are restless. To smile when others are angry. To pau...*	NANUKE	2	275	Sep 2, 2007 by Friendofyours
	unexpected peace (Preview) My ahsober (7 mos) has been gone for 5 days on an annual fishing trip with his 2 best friends. Something that is a bit scary and unexpected for me is that I have felt peace with him gone. This is in spite of the knowledge that he will surrounded by a very familair situation in which he is used to drinking a lot...	Loupiness	1	394	Sep 2, 2007 by Friendofyours
	A Very Powerful Read (Preview) From the author of Women Who Run with the Wolves. Let Your Light Shine Bright By Clarissa Pinkola Estes My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ou...	Tenderheartsks	3	605	Sep 2, 2007 by ddub
	new issue came up at the f2f meeting tonight (Preview) i am very interested in the new issue that came up tonight (for me anyway) ,,, i have heard or read somewhere recently about this but so mch going on so i tend to jump from thing to thing. lol alot of people in the group were talking about not wanting to get into relationships out of fear of finding the kinds o...	frazzled	3	528	Sep 2, 2007 by lin0606
	He brought hay! (Preview) I am trying today to be thankful for small accomplishments, from myself and my AH. I realize he is trying and that I am trying and expectaions from both of us really get in the way. So today I am making a list for myself of the things I would like to accomplish for today. I will be thankful for anything I can ge...	Jen	3	427	Sep 1, 2007 by nmike
	September 9th Business Meeting @ 9 PM EST (Preview) Due to the long weekend, we decided to postpone the business meeting to next week, Sunday, September 9th, 9:00 p.m. EST SEPTEMBER 9TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval - August 5th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. ...	Maria123	0	307	Sep 1, 2007 by Maria123
	Sept business mtg?? (Preview) Since it's Labor Day, I wonder if the business mtg will be held Sunday? Or when? Thanks, pw	wp	1	368	Sep 1, 2007 by wp
	online sponsoring (Preview) man i really need a sponsor. i was planning on asking this one older woman who i had spoken to twice before, but she wasnt around tonight and i wsnt fully on the fence about it either...... i am just really eager to get started with the steps. and when i dont get to a face 2 face meeting i lose my focus on the phi...	frazzled	1	382	Sep 1, 2007 by Jen
	Had another surgery (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I had shoulder surgery two weeks ago. Went in for my check-up and the screw had slipped and went in last week for another surgery. Pain again. Has set me back at work adn life itself. There but for the grace of god friends and family had stepped up to help me. My Ahsober finally showed up to hel...	nmike	5	415	Sep 1, 2007 by tea2
	my grandma died (Preview) I would like to tell everyone yesterday my grandma died. I am hanging in there I am doing ok.	nycbt	16	552	Sep 1, 2007 by tea2
	Just had enough (Preview) My husband is trying to get custody of his son from his ex-wife who is an alcoholic, and we think a druggie. She is a mess. They went to court on it in July and were ordered to do mediation, which she refused. So while she was refusing to do the mediation,. her parents went to the courthouse and got paperw...	Unsure	1	418	Sep 1, 2007 by Friendofyours
	impulse and loneliness (Preview) I have moved to a place that is not much better than the last place I lived in. The room itself is like an oven and I have had to work really overtime to get it to a place of habitabiity. I feel like I am running on the spot all the time. One of my neighbors who is a man about the same age as I am has been very very he...	maresie2	7	478	Sep 1, 2007 by leo
	Can I vent please?? (Preview) What the hell is wrong with him???? (the ah) I just found out he borrowed $400 from his father to get his truck fixed but............he used that excuse to only give me a portion of the paycheck. So he had a ton of money and left me and the kids with hardly nothing. I got him in a huge lie. He said "I didn'...	Friendofyours	2	417	Sep 1, 2007 by artygirl
	feeling crazy! (Preview) i just need to share that im feeling crazy. i have anger and i need help. there are some old freinds staying with us and i feel i am losing my serenity. my hubby who is normally silent, broody and distant, is very animated in this womans company. he is a different person. it makes me feel wierd and disconne...	florrie	4	354	Sep 1, 2007 by florrie
	Thank you all for being here.... (Preview) (((((((((Everyone))))))))) I have often been moved to tears by the support you have offered me here. Life is just such a strange harbor to be sailing in some days... you all help me see the rocks... and the open water. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. A very very dear friend of mine lent me a cd from...	rtexas	6	646	Sep 1, 2007 by Loupiness
	Hi I'm new (Preview) Hi My name is Lynn. I have been married to an AH/DA for 14 years now. We have 3 children together. I have put up with alot, and Iam sure their are many who put up with more than I have. Over the years, I have dealth with the usual, dui's, no money, him not coming home. Getting mad, fighting, making up. In t...	lness8	7	511	Aug 31, 2007 by Peggy7
	I Am So Sick & Tired (Preview) I am so sick and tired of scrounging at the bottom just to get by. My ex A sent me an e-mail threatening to hire a private investigator to find me. He can afford a private investigator, but he couldn't pay child support for the last 7 years! Now I am working for a company that has an A for an owner. He lied to me a...	kissers	7	1304	Aug 31, 2007 by aunitedway
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