Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

This is how I feel. If I sleep my brain won't hurt! I have worked on Step 4 for a couple of hours looking at my inventory. And I simply do not know what to do with it. It seems like I will NEVER ever get past this step as I simply have too much to put right. I just do not know what to do next. ...

lin0606 · lin0606

I've got a difficult situation to deal with, and I'd like some input on the alanon perspective. It's a long story, but I'd like to lay it out to get it straight in my own mind. My husband's younger sister was a world traveller in her youth, moved back to their home city about 20 years ago, pregnant and sing...

maresie2 · maresie2

I find I am having to confront another fantasy here. I did not want to leave the A because I had this fantasy about he would at some point change. I've been gone 6 months now, if anything he is worse than he has ever been. Now I find I am confronting another fantasy that I would fall on my feet and not have to wor...

omajoy · omajoy

I have written three posts tonight trying to unload my grief and hopelessness. I have deleted them and have decided that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps it is best to shut the heck up and take what has been dealt to me. I have lost my little family to alcohol and divorce. I have lost the great relationship I...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover o...

serenity62 · serenity62

MIP November business meeting: November 11/07 Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer, 1st thing on agenda is OP schedule, which was posted along with a description of the requirements to be an OP. October Minutes were approved as written. Treasury report was given by dot: She reported t...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Okay, I am fortunate enough to have a "long" weekend in that I don't have work tomorrow (veteran's day) ... My intention was to work (finish) my step 4 Ahhhh intentions I have been working on (or I usually say "procrastinating on") Step 4 since JUNE I keep getting "stuck&qu...

islu1953 · islu1953

my dad is an alcholic. he has been for a couple years now. he stopped for a couple weeks when my mom gave him the ultimatum. i came home tonight, and he started again. i should be used to it by now, but everytime he starts up again i am just so hurt and angry. my mom wants to leave him- but cant, because of us, &qu...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something a...

Christy · Christy

Loupiness · Loupiness

It never ceases to amaze me how my ah can turn anything and everything into blame on my part. Somehow, I think many of you can relate! Some background - ah has been out of house for 6 mos. He sees the kids a lot, but not on a regular schedule; mostly when convenient for him, but at least 5-6 times a week. Has ha...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH was real drunk and I sneaky asked about the court summons he got in the paper. He told me it was for open container and that his drivers liscence has been suspended. It is very likely that he will not remember telling me this. My mind is still processing this information. But I can say, he is the only one w...

Belladay · Belladay

Updating my last post: I passed! It was so awesome! I mean the test was really hard but I gave it all I had, took over two hours. I checked and rechecked and then turned it in. I had to check online from my desk at work and when I read I passed I was just so relieved. Everyone at work crowded around and we just che...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Just wanted to take the time to thank all the veterans today. My Dad, Uncles and Grandfathers were all vets. Hubby was in the Navy too and I have many friends who are still serving. Thank you for your service. To all those out there serving thank you too. To the families, th...

nmike · nmike

My AHsober that moved out 2 years ago said he would come over this weekend to help me with wood, fixing things up, etc. I have tried to get anyone to help me with those things particularly after my shoulder surgery. He always says "do you want me to come over?" I say "what do you want to do?&...

Heather72 · Heather72

On the way to work one morning, my daughter told me that Daddy hurt her. When I asked where, she pointed to it. As you can imagine, the worst fear that a mother could have was realized. I contacted her doctor, spoke with my AHs court therapist and now the Court Judge is aware of the situatio...

ke2 · ke2

I am new to thos board and so glad to have found it. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for the last 15 years. She goes through brief phases of sobriety. I am getting married next year. My mom and I were meant to go wedding dress shopping together a few weeks ago. She promised she would be sober. I turned u...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Hi all ~ I just need to vent ~ As most of you know, I had to put my precious cat, Buster Boy, down this past Thursday morning. It was the hardest thing my husband and I hever had to do - he was our baby with fur and a very big part of our lives and who we had become. Crazy as that may sound to some. The "firsts&...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I asked a woman to sponsor me. She said she would. She said she wanted me to call her once a week. I said I thought I could do that and then did not. I apologized and said I wanted to try this again she said OK and now I do not call her, still. I have such a hard time reaching out. I cannot imagine bothering someo...

serendipity · serendipity

I've been watching tv since 8. All 3 shows have had drugs/alcohol story lines. Is this because of the writer's strike? Are they recruting alanon members to write the story lines?LOL! One was a dad trying to keep his sons from the lifestyle of drugs and gangs. The second one character found her husband'...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((Family))))))), GOOD MORNING! Just wanted to officially document the first snowfall of the season here in NY! I'm so excited I can't stand it! While I can't make snow people yet or snowballs, it's truly beautiful. After a long tough week of work, I have a rare Saturday off, and lo and...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat to rest the other day and boy does this house feel EMPTY. The tears just keep flowing We decided to have Buster cremated and to receive his ashes back in an urn and we intend on doing a memorial of sorts ~ so ~ here is what I am looking for... There is a poem c...

Kim65 · Kim65

Help me put two and two together here . . . maybe it will equal ZERO and I'm imagining things, which is fine by me, I don't need the trouble! Yesterday mutual friends of exA and I brought over a cord of pine rounds for firewood. This was unannounced, as the puppies had chewed through my phone cord (again)....

sadako · sadako

my (sober) A is throwing a fit tonight, not directing it at me but he broke a glass bowl, called someone and swore them out at 10:30pm, then kicked the phone across the room. before that, he'd gone out way before dinner, stayed out til 10, didn't tell me when he'd be back, i was worried he'd run out of gas or s...

nycbt · nycbt

I found out that my husband was using herion again. I found out the other day that he was using when we went to the emergency room. He has been going to the meeting yesterday is when he started. I am hanging in there. I going to try and go to my meeting for face to face tonight. He is now taking a drug to help him...

elikapika · elikapika

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a young mother of 2 little girls, and married to an alcoholic, drug user. My husband started AA in 2001, he did very well for his first year, he still has not had a drink since. He is also a drug user and has been for many years. He is not a constant user but has been caugh...

shimo · shimo

Please check for a private message. Thank you.

verenda · verenda

Hi everyone If you have read my topics you know that I have let my AH come back home. Now I am starting to regret my decision. Here is why and please tell me if I am being unreasonable or if he is reverting back to old abusive behaviors. It feels like the latter to me. Some background, my Ah was very emotionall...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH opened a letter, his face fell and he quietly walked to where (he thought) I couldn't see him. "What is it?" I say, being nosy "oh, it's nothing" he says, with his back to me. "I got a ticket a while ago, and now I have to go to court" "What kind of a ticket?" I c...

LocoMotions · LocoMotions

I know AA has helped countless people, BUT has anyone else here seen an A use it as an excuse to drink? My AH attributes his "mess ups" to the fact that he can't control himself and that it's a disease, which he says comes from AA. He has made a profession out of being an alcoholic. He started dr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Good morning everyone, It's me again. Trying to work on a self preservation recipe. Why? Well further to my inventory of myself, as required when one reaches Step 4 - "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of self." - it all seems to be too late for me. I needed to do this twenty yea...

anahera · anahera

My husband is an alcoholic and I am a non-drinking non-alcoholic. Our experience of alcoholism seems to differ markedly in a couple of respects from all the stories we've come across (both online and in AA / Al-Anon meetings and literature). After 5 years of married hell I put myself through a recov...

New member-trying to figure this all out · Tree

I just joined and Thank you for the FAQ's they were helpful. I stumbled apon this website tonight in hopes of finding a chat for al anon. I have not really became a member of any al anon meetings in my town yet, but I did sit in on one but I was late so no one knew I was a newcomer. My husband is an alcoholic, we...

marmare · marmare

I am on my way to take my daughter in-law to hospital ER. She is the one with Cysic Fibrosis. Please say a prayer for her and the family. Last March she was given just 1 year. Hugs Mary

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I am beside myself. I am so full of anger right now. I got screwed over at work and did not receive my bonus. Everyone received their bonus, but me. I am also the only female. I'm starting to notice how oppressive the work environment is and I want to run away screaming. I am praying for HP to hel...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi everyone.... there has been a lot of discussion recently about the posting of religious statements/sentiments on this board, and what is appropriate, etc. Like many things, the answer isn't totally black & white, but I really think the summary below, which I posted (as a reprint) a few day...

canadianguy · canadianguy

It's often easy to fall into that "pity party" about how life isn't fair to us, particularly regarding our circumstances around addictions, etc... I laughed today at this quote, and thought it might bring a few smiles to you as well. Tom Expecting the world to treat you fairlyBecause y...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone)))) My A has had some kind of awakening. He is so remorseful ..... about everything. Only he wants to forget everything that has happened over the last three yrs since he's left us. I'm about to lose my mind. He's here constantly, pushing, wanting me to say that everything is going to be...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family))))) This Sunday is our monthly business/group conscious meeting. The meeting will be at 8pm cst As of this time we dont have much on the agenda, if anyone has an item they would like to have considered for discussion, please send me a pm by tomorrow (Saturday) evening. Thanks! and Se...

babysteps · babysteps

I finally blew up at my AH last Friday. He had 34 days of sobriety that ended on 9/23, followed by about 34 days of chronic drinking. He was pulled over a week ago Wednesday and almost got a dui. If freaked him out but he came home drunk on Thursday. On Friday my check was rejected at Wal Mart because he kept ta...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today is going by REALLY REALLY slow! I just want it to be over. I'd like to sleep for the next week and not feel this! My lungs feel tight and I know if I had a cigarette they would open up, how ironic is that? I have been totally tired and antsy alternating all day. I know the coughing will start tomorro...

david62 · david62

Al-anon is a program which is supposed to be spread through attraction rather than promotion. How do we do this? We live our lives in a manner that might cause another person to look at us and wonder how do they live their life with so much peace, serenity, joy, happiness, kindness, tolerance, consid...

Heaven · Heaven

I read all of the posts and it all scares me so much. It seems as if I'm headed towards a divorce. I've always been concerned about my husband's drinking but this past year it has gotten worse. He'll get drunk and I'll do nothing to provoke him and he'll turn on me. So much anger. He takes it out on me and...

Belladay · Belladay

OK gang, today is my big test day at work. I have studied for 2 months for this and today is the day I take it. I came home last night from work and my SAH had two beautiful, supportive cards for me and then he took me out for steak. I got fil-a-minyon (sp?) mind you. Heck, that was worth the effort right there. I...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...

serendipity · serendipity

The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...

Toni · Toni

A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...

Unsure · Unsure

Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...

Belladay · Belladay

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...

Miranda · Miranda

How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a *positive* update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...

marmare · marmare

My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My brain hurts ... I just do not know what to do next! (Preview) This is how I feel. If I sleep my brain won't hurt! I have worked on Step 4 for a couple of hours looking at my inventory. And I simply do not know what to do with it. It seems like I will NEVER ever get past this step as I simply have too much to put right. I just do not know what to do next. ...	Heartbroken	11	724	Nov 14, 2007 by barisax
	Help me Clarify my Thoughts (Preview) I've got a difficult situation to deal with, and I'd like some input on the alanon perspective. It's a long story, but I'd like to lay it out to get it straight in my own mind. My husband's younger sister was a world traveller in her youth, moved back to their home city about 20 years ago, pregnant and sing...	lin0606	8	632	Nov 14, 2007 by greta
	slogging through molaases (Preview) I find I am having to confront another fantasy here. I did not want to leave the A because I had this fantasy about he would at some point change. I've been gone 6 months now, if anything he is worse than he has ever been. Now I find I am confronting another fantasy that I would fall on my feet and not have to wor...	maresie2	3	564	Nov 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	I think I might as well shut up (Preview) I have written three posts tonight trying to unload my grief and hopelessness. I have deleted them and have decided that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps it is best to shut the heck up and take what has been dealt to me. I have lost my little family to alcohol and divorce. I have lost the great relationship I...	omajoy	7	675	Nov 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: (Preview) Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover o...	Lauren ashley	4	5157	Nov 13, 2007 by maresie2
	November Business meeting Minutes: (Preview) MIP November business meeting: November 11/07 Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer, 1st thing on agenda is OP schedule, which was posted along with a description of the requirements to be an OP. October Minutes were approved as written. Treasury report was given by dot: She reported t...	serenity62	0	366	Nov 13, 2007 by serenity62
	procrastination (Preview) Okay, I am fortunate enough to have a "long" weekend in that I don't have work tomorrow (veteran's day) ... My intention was to work (finish) my step 4 Ahhhh intentions I have been working on (or I usually say "procrastinating on") Step 4 since JUNE I keep getting "stuck&qu...	Positivelydee	2	452	Nov 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	he wont stop and it kills me (Preview) my dad is an alcholic. he has been for a couple years now. he stopped for a couple weeks when my mom gave him the ultimatum. i came home tonight, and he started again. i should be used to it by now, but everytime he starts up again i am just so hurt and angry. my mom wants to leave him- but cant, because of us, &qu...	islu1953	14	749	Nov 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	HES DRIVING ME CRAZY (Preview) Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something a...	cookie1971	5	714	Nov 13, 2007 by Jerry F
	Believe in yourself (Preview)	Christy	2	298	Nov 12, 2007 by ddub
	baffling and brilliant (Preview) It never ceases to amaze me how my ah can turn anything and everything into blame on my part. Somehow, I think many of you can relate! Some background - ah has been out of house for 6 mos. He sees the kids a lot, but not on a regular schedule; mostly when convenient for him, but at least 5-6 times a week. Has ha...	Loupiness	2	342	Nov 12, 2007 by Kim65
	bummer (Preview) AH was real drunk and I sneaky asked about the court summons he got in the paper. He told me it was for open container and that his drivers liscence has been suspended. It is very likely that he will not remember telling me this. My mind is still processing this information. But I can say, he is the only one w...	RainyJamie	5	512	Nov 12, 2007 by RainyJamie
	RE: I Passed! (Preview) Updating my last post: I passed! It was so awesome! I mean the test was really hard but I gave it all I had, took over two hours. I checked and rechecked and then turned it in. I had to check online from my desk at work and when I read I passed I was just so relieved. Everyone at work crowded around and we just che...	Belladay	10	1111	Nov 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	Thank you Veterans (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Just wanted to take the time to thank all the veterans today. My Dad, Uncles and Grandfathers were all vets. Hubby was in the Navy too and I have many friends who are still serving. Thank you for your service. To all those out there serving thank you too. To the families, th...	Karilynn	0	270	Nov 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	He is coming to help.... (Preview) My AHsober that moved out 2 years ago said he would come over this weekend to help me with wood, fixing things up, etc. I have tried to get anyone to help me with those things particularly after my shoulder surgery. He always says "do you want me to come over?" I say "what do you want to do?&...	nmike	4	499	Nov 12, 2007 by maresie2
	Marriage or "end of" marriage counseling (Preview) On the way to work one morning, my daughter told me that Daddy hurt her. When I asked where, she pointed to it. As you can imagine, the worst fear that a mother could have was realized. I contacted her doctor, spoke with my AHs court therapist and now the Court Judge is aware of the situatio...	Heather72	6	1509	Nov 12, 2007 by maresie2
	New and in need of advice. (Preview) I am new to thos board and so glad to have found it. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for the last 15 years. She goes through brief phases of sobriety. I am getting married next year. My mom and I were meant to go wedding dress shopping together a few weeks ago. She promised she would be sober. I turned u...	ke2	8	464	Nov 12, 2007 by ke2
	OUCH (Preview) Hi all ~ I just need to vent ~ As most of you know, I had to put my precious cat, Buster Boy, down this past Thursday morning. It was the hardest thing my husband and I hever had to do - he was our baby with fur and a very big part of our lives and who we had become. Crazy as that may sound to some. The "firsts&...	Positivelydee	5	399	Nov 12, 2007 by cookie1971
	Sponsorship is so hard for me, looking for advice please (Preview) I asked a woman to sponsor me. She said she would. She said she wanted me to call her once a week. I said I thought I could do that and then did not. I apologized and said I wanted to try this again she said OK and now I do not call her, still. I have such a hard time reaching out. I cannot imagine bothering someo...	Jean4444	7	552	Nov 11, 2007 by lin0606
	What is with the TV shows tonight? (Preview) I've been watching tv since 8. All 3 shows have had drugs/alcohol story lines. Is this because of the writer's strike? Are they recruting alanon members to write the story lines?LOL! One was a dad trying to keep his sons from the lifestyle of drugs and gangs. The second one character found her husband'...	serendipity	0	321	Nov 11, 2007 by serendipity
	WOOHOO! IT'S SNOWING! (Preview) (((((((((((Family))))))), GOOD MORNING! Just wanted to officially document the first snowfall of the season here in NY! I'm so excited I can't stand it! While I can't make snow people yet or snowballs, it's truly beautiful. After a long tough week of work, I have a rare Saturday off, and lo and...	Karilynn	6	403	Nov 11, 2007 by lilms
	Looking for a poem (Preview) As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat to rest the other day and boy does this house feel EMPTY. The tears just keep flowing We decided to have Buster cremated and to receive his ashes back in an urn and we intend on doing a memorial of sorts ~ so ~ here is what I am looking for... There is a poem c...	Positivelydee	9	1390	Nov 11, 2007 by Positivelydee
	I think I just got ripped off! (Long but what's new) (Preview) Help me put two and two together here . . . maybe it will equal ZERO and I'm imagining things, which is fine by me, I don't need the trouble! Yesterday mutual friends of exA and I brought over a cord of pine rounds for firewood. This was unannounced, as the puppies had chewed through my phone cord (again)....	Kim65	23	2694	Nov 11, 2007 by debilyn
	i "should know"?? (Preview) my (sober) A is throwing a fit tonight, not directing it at me but he broke a glass bowl, called someone and swore them out at 10:30pm, then kicked the phone across the room. before that, he'd gone out way before dinner, stayed out til 10, didn't tell me when he'd be back, i was worried he'd run out of gas or s...	sadako	3	420	Nov 11, 2007 by lin0606
	USING AGAIN (Preview) I found out that my husband was using herion again. I found out the other day that he was using when we went to the emergency room. He has been going to the meeting yesterday is when he started. I am hanging in there. I going to try and go to my meeting for face to face tonight. He is now taking a drug to help him...	nycbt	7	406	Nov 11, 2007 by aunitedway
	Confused and feeling alone (Preview) Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a young mother of 2 little girls, and married to an alcoholic, drug user. My husband started AA in 2001, he did very well for his first year, he still has not had a drink since. He is also a drug user and has been for many years. He is not a constant user but has been caugh...	elikapika	3	604	Nov 11, 2007 by Heather72
	Peggy7 (Preview) Please check for a private message. Thank you.	shimo	0	436	Nov 11, 2007 by shimo
	Am I being Unreasonable (Preview) Hi everyone If you have read my topics you know that I have let my AH come back home. Now I am starting to regret my decision. Here is why and please tell me if I am being unreasonable or if he is reverting back to old abusive behaviors. It feels like the latter to me. Some background, my Ah was very emotionall...	verenda	13	722	Nov 11, 2007 by LocoMotions
	To know or know not? (Preview) AH opened a letter, his face fell and he quietly walked to where (he thought) I couldn't see him. "What is it?" I say, being nosy "oh, it's nothing" he says, with his back to me. "I got a ticket a while ago, and now I have to go to court" "What kind of a ticket?" I c...	RainyJamie	10	633	Nov 10, 2007 by RainyJamie
	(new here) Is it possible for AA to backfire?... (Preview) I know AA has helped countless people, BUT has anyone else here seen an A use it as an excuse to drink? My AH attributes his "mess ups" to the fact that he can't control himself and that it's a disease, which he says comes from AA. He has made a profession out of being an alcoholic. He started dr...	LocoMotions	10	668	Nov 10, 2007 by abbyal
	Self preservation recipe... working STEP 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone, It's me again. Trying to work on a self preservation recipe. Why? Well further to my inventory of myself, as required when one reaches Step 4 - "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of self." - it all seems to be too late for me. I needed to do this twenty yea...	Heartbroken	6	568	Nov 10, 2007 by Jen
	Marital Sex During Rehab (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic and I am a non-drinking non-alcoholic. Our experience of alcoholism seems to differ markedly in a couple of respects from all the stories we've come across (both online and in AA / Al-Anon meetings and literature). After 5 years of married hell I put myself through a recov...	anahera	3	646	Nov 10, 2007 by Diva
	New member-trying to figure this all out (Preview) I just joined and Thank you for the FAQ's they were helpful. I stumbled apon this website tonight in hopes of finding a chat for al anon. I have not really became a member of any al anon meetings in my town yet, but I did sit in on one but I was late so no one knew I was a newcomer. My husband is an alcoholic, we...	Tree	3	573	Nov 10, 2007 by david62
	Prayer Request (Preview) I am on my way to take my daughter in-law to hospital ER. She is the one with Cysic Fibrosis. Please say a prayer for her and the family. Last March she was given just 1 year. Hugs Mary	marmare	6	364	Nov 10, 2007 by carosie
	Seething with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, I am beside myself. I am so full of anger right now. I got screwed over at work and did not receive my bonus. Everyone received their bonus, but me. I am also the only female. I'm starting to notice how oppressive the work environment is and I want to run away screaming. I am praying for HP to hel...	kissers	5	628	Nov 10, 2007 by leo
	Religion in posts, Without Labels, etc (Preview) Hi everyone.... there has been a lot of discussion recently about the posting of religious statements/sentiments on this board, and what is appropriate, etc. Like many things, the answer isn't totally black & white, but I really think the summary below, which I posted (as a reprint) a few day...	canadianguy	2	657	Nov 10, 2007 by wp
	Quote that made me smile today (Preview) It's often easy to fall into that "pity party" about how life isn't fair to us, particularly regarding our circumstances around addictions, etc... I laughed today at this quote, and thought it might bring a few smiles to you as well. Tom Expecting the world to treat you fairlyBecause y...	canadianguy	7	624	Nov 10, 2007 by cookie1971
	Sobriety?? maybe... (Preview) (((Everyone)))) My A has had some kind of awakening. He is so remorseful ..... about everything. Only he wants to forget everything that has happened over the last three yrs since he's left us. I'm about to lose my mind. He's here constantly, pushing, wanting me to say that everything is going to be...	Lunamoth	5	664	Nov 9, 2007 by abbyal
	November Business Meeting - This Sunday! (Preview) Hello ((((Family))))) This Sunday is our monthly business/group conscious meeting. The meeting will be at 8pm cst As of this time we dont have much on the agenda, if anyone has an item they would like to have considered for discussion, please send me a pm by tomorrow (Saturday) evening. Thanks! and Se...	david62	0	293	Nov 9, 2007 by david62
	The days after the storm (Preview) I finally blew up at my AH last Friday. He had 34 days of sobriety that ended on 9/23, followed by about 34 days of chronic drinking. He was pulled over a week ago Wednesday and almost got a dui. If freaked him out but he came home drunk on Thursday. On Friday my check was rejected at Wal Mart because he kept ta...	babysteps	4	567	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	I want to rip my lungs out! (Preview) Today is going by REALLY REALLY slow! I just want it to be over. I'd like to sleep for the next week and not feel this! My lungs feel tight and I know if I had a cigarette they would open up, how ironic is that? I have been totally tired and antsy alternating all day. I know the coughing will start tomorro...	carolinagirl	11	774	Nov 9, 2007 by Chetch
	My Al-Anon Religion (Preview) Al-anon is a program which is supposed to be spread through attraction rather than promotion. How do we do this? We live our lives in a manner that might cause another person to look at us and wonder how do they live their life with so much peace, serenity, joy, happiness, kindness, tolerance, consid...	david62	3	547	Nov 9, 2007 by bob6502
	I'm so afraid. (Preview) I read all of the posts and it all scares me so much. It seems as if I'm headed towards a divorce. I've always been concerned about my husband's drinking but this past year it has gotten worse. He'll get drunk and I'll do nothing to provoke him and he'll turn on me. So much anger. He takes it out on me and...	Heaven	12	547	Nov 9, 2007 by barisax
	Today Is The Day (Preview) OK gang, today is my big test day at work. I have studied for 2 months for this and today is the day I take it. I came home last night from work and my SAH had two beautiful, supportive cards for me and then he took me out for steak. I got fil-a-minyon (sp?) mind you. Heck, that was worth the effort right there. I...	Belladay	5	555	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	Dysfunctional recognition (Preview) Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...	Heartbroken	3	560	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	This could have been me (or you) (Preview) The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....	serendipity	5	697	Nov 9, 2007 by Diva
	Grieving (Preview) I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...	Positivelydee	11	746	Nov 9, 2007 by carosie
	Sincere apologies to everyone here (Preview) Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...	Tenderheartsks	5	1501	Nov 9, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Recognition and Acceptance (Preview) A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...	Toni	5	657	Nov 9, 2007 by Toni
	projecting negativity (Preview) Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...	RainyJamie	6	572	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	Intervention (Preview) Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...	Unsure	4	480	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	shocking reflection (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...	annmarie	4	1610	Nov 8, 2007 by hersh
	Today is the day. (Preview) I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...	carolinagirl	10	553	Nov 8, 2007 by Jen
	Detaching in process rather than stuck (Preview) Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...	maresie2	2	506	Nov 8, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Stable (Preview) I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...	Belladay	3	363	Nov 8, 2007 by carosie
	Grumpy (Preview) I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...	carolinagirl	6	446	Nov 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The Boundaries Of Experience-Expanding Your Comfort Zone (Preview) The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...	Tenderheartsks	3	525	Nov 8, 2007 by ddub
	It's Been A LONG Time (Preview) How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a positive update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...	Miranda	4	583	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	Acceptance (Preview) My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...	marmare	4	318	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	My Addiction (Preview) Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...	Andrea12	10	510	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.